I offered to co-host my friend’s baby shower. I am a first-time mom, and my baby will be nine months by the date of the shower, and he is exclusively breastfed. My friend indicated that she does not want children at the baby shower. However, I am not comfortable leaving my baby for hours at a time, especially since he’s breastfeeding. What would you do?
28 Likes
Her baby shower her rules. Rescind your invitation to host
15 Likes
I’d get a sitter and go for an hour or two 
7 Likes
Tell her sorry but my son has go come with me or i cant come.
4 Likes
Apologize and tell her you cant throw it because you dont want to be apart from your baby 
6 Likes
Honestly if find a sitter and only have the party a couple hours then have the sitter bring babe back to you in time for the next feeding. Defiantly would work something out since you offered to co-host. And those parties take up a lot of your attention.
5 Likes
Stay home then… you make your own priorities.
3 Likes
Talk to her about it!!
2 Likes
Pump and get a sitter for a couple hours.
9 Likes
Could you have someone bring the baby by when he needs to eat and you step out? Or tell her that you can’t host, and attend the shower between feeds for a little bit to support her.
1 Like
Can you pump? And have someone else watch your baby? If not then I would stay home. I’m sure she would understand.
2 Likes
Typically when people say “no children” they mean they don’t want kids running around. I’d ask. And let her know you plan on bringing the baby.
5 Likes
Anyone who knows me knows if my child can’t come, I can’t come. I’d invite my friend out for a nice dinner on a different day and still get the baby something nice.
1 Like
Retract your offer to co-host and don’t go.
2 Likes
How about ask what her definition of kids is? Im sure an infant would be exluded from “kids”…she is prob referring to older kids who are able run around and get into everything
4 Likes
Personally I’d be excited to have an hour or two kid free. 
🤷
But if y’all are close enough that she wants you to host, you should be close enough to explain your situation. She can either find a different host or allow your baby.
4 Likes
Talk to her and voice your concerns. If you can’t come to an agreement, don’t go.
Pump and leave the baby with someone you trust. Have some you time enjoy your friends experience I’m sure she came to yours.
2 Likes
Talk to her and compromise or don’t go
My sis is doing mine and wants my son to come but I’ve sed no I Dnt want any kids there x
I wouldn’t host, but you can definitely stop by for at least an hour. If she is a friend that you want to host the baby shower, you should be willing to compromise a little bit. babies take a lot of time and attention, the baby shower is to celebrate her, respect her wishes.
11 Likes
Does the other host have children? I would talk with her first and make sure she understands that you might have to leave because your son needs to eat. She will have to step up and host solo after you leave. I would then talk with the expectant friend and let her know the understanding you and your co-host have come to regarding you needing to leave early.
How you abouts to have a kid but want a party thrown with no kids 
She can’t host a baby shower if she doesn’t go! It depends on how you feel. If you are not willing to get a sitt her for that few hours tell her I’m sorry I can’t host your shower without my baby being there.
2 Likes
So she wants a party to celebrate a kid but doesn’t want kids there 
on one hand that’s ridiculous and you could stay home. On the other hand it’s still ridiculous but it might do you some good to socialize for an hour or so without baby. Feed before you leave and as soon as you get back. Just limit the shower to the hours your baby can go without feeding.
1 Like
Talk tonger about it and if you both cant agree on something do not throw the baby shower
Y is she having kids?
2 Likes
Well if ur one doing her shower she should respect that kids will be there or maybe she should do her own shower I mean there could be a spot for kids maybe to side put a gate up but still eye reach and then do the shower to side or if u can do it around nap time so kids are napping maybe something like that I get she wants all the attention to her but not everyone is able to leave there kids to attend a shower I’d maybe say if u can keep child home great but if not then maybe have a solution for it
I would tell my friend to have fun and stay with my baby who needs me.
3 Likes
Maybe have a babysitter for the kids and make the shower in another area or something
It’s her party, so if she said no babies you should respect that as her friend. Pump before you go and get a supply of milk so you can leave your baby with a family member. Or just show up to the party (baby still with a sitter or family member) for only an hour or 2 so you don’t miss a feeding.
12 Likes
I would no longer host.
11 Likes
You don’t go to her baby shower and when she gets pissed and asks why, you tell it is because she didnt want you there.
4 Likes
Both my wedding and baby shower was children friendly, but that’s just me.
2 Likes
Don’t give the showet6
1 Like
Talk to her about it. In my case I can’t pump because my daughter do not take the bottle at all.
Your baby is a lot different then children. Your baby’s not going to be running around going crazy possibly. You wearing your baby or the baby being in a seat or swing.
Have the shower without her…haha
2 Likes
It would depend on how close you are with her for me. If it was one of my really close friends then I would try and talk to her about your situation. Explain that you have a schedule that you like to stick to with feedings and you don’t want to risk throwing that off. If she’s adamant about no children then I would make arrangements for a sitter and just pump for the baby. If she’s not a super close friend then I would not offer to go or throw the shower for her. I mean, it’s a baby shower, it’s not like a wedding where people don’t want children because of the alcohol or intimacy of the occasion.
2 Likes
Unpopular opinion here: I don’t blame her for not wanting kids at her shower. If you’re unhappy with what she wants, don’t host.
16 Likes
Dont host… If you can show up for a hour or so then great
5 Likes
I had my son at my daughters baby shower (he was 1) he had a little playmate with him (also 1) and we had a blast
2 Likes
Typically when we get invites like this whether showers or weddings, we decline. If our kids can’t go, we don’t go. We don’t believe in sitters. I would have to tell her to enjoy her shower and drop off a gift and stay home with my kid. Being home with my children is more important to me than my own personal entertainment. She would have to find someone else to host at that point.
13 Likes
You should respect that. Most baby showers I go to have absolutely no children 
1 Like
… A baby shower without kids… Part of me feels like okay I can understand. I’m due with my bio 2nd ( I have a son and stepson) and I don’t mind kids being at my baby shower. But some people want to relax and enjoy the party not have to keep worrying about keeping kids in line.
Pump! And mom a little break never hurts the soul, if you have someone trust worthy to watch your child.
1 Like
Tell her you can’t
1 Like
I feel like saying no children and no babies are two different things. Children try to run around take things off the table open the presents. Your nine month old will be probably very happy to nurse and take a nap and just bring a little bouncer. Having just your one baby there is not the same thing as having kids at the party. If she’s really your best friend and you should be able to talk to her and tell her that you are so excited for her baby shower and you can’t wait to help out but you need to have your nursing child with you and that you will make accommodations and there will be no other kids. If she says no Then I would just tell her that you feel that’s unfortunate but you’re not going to leave your base
4 Likes
Maybe she is talking about other guest not bringing thier kids. Explain to her your not wanting to leave your baby w sitter. Baby showers to me are something for the women to attend. Nowadays they want babys father and everyone else and the mother to be really gets no attention… my opinion JS
1 Like
First clarify with the friend, get some insight as to why. Then coordinate with your hubby to bring him by for you to feed and see after a bit.
1 Like
Did you talk to her about it? A 9 month-old can’t walk around the venue
It’s a baby shower celebrating her baby why would she not want kids there . Makes no sense to me
1 Like
Tell her you want your baby there or find another host.
Why is this so difficult?
I think she ment smaller kids. That run and touch stuff.
Don’t host or pump before you go
1 Like
I feel like a mom break would most likely be nice for you but I’m also one of those “if my kids can’t go, neither can I” kind of moms for most things. A baby shower would fall under that category.
I just wouldn’t go. Just let her know you changed your mind and why. You have to respect her wishes, but she should be understanding of the fact you can’t just leave your baby. She is going to have a baby, so she should get used to them being around.
1 Like
Thats your friend considering she already knows about the shower since she is adding input just talk to her about it. Many times especially with pregnant woman the baby shower can be a lot and we all know the toll of pregnancy. With that said a room full a children running around can be overwhelming, but im sure allowances can be made especially for a situation like yours. Communication is key. Just remember your children come first. How you choose to contribute (what are able to contribute) to her babyshower is completely decided by you. My baby shower was supposed to have no kids (not requested by me) but we still had a few infants/toddlers and i had a wonderful time.
1 Like
Wait … YOU are hosting? YOUR baby gets to go.
1 Like
Its her day… if you cant make it the way she wants it then dont host. Also baby will be fine if he has to drink some bottles of pumped breast milk at the sitters.
5 Likes
Kinda crazy she doesn’t want kids there when it’s for a kid lol every baby shower I’ve been to has had tons of kids, especially since almost everyone has children. Personally I would chose not to go. I’m breastfeeding my 5 month old too and if I can’t take him somewhere I just don’t go. It doesn’t happen very often since all my friends have kids to.
16 Likes
If your hosting it how would you be feeding/caring for your baby at the same time anyway?! Idk if you weren’t ready to leave the baby for an hour or two then I don’t think you should have offered to be the host!!
12 Likes
Most of the time no kids excludes babies because of these reasons.
It’s HER shower, so if she doesn’t want kids there she absolutely has that right. Tell her your concern and if she’s adamantly against it then you don’t co-host and are just a guest. If you have to leave early, that’s your choice.
12 Likes
Don’t go or host. It’s her shower. It doesn’t matter what her reasons for not wanting kids there are. People act like someone else’s wishes are flexible if it’s something they don’t agree with. Its her day, not yours. Either pump and get a sitter or stay home with your baby.
6 Likes
At 9 months old you can’t leave your baby for a couple hours… seriously? Your friend is about to have a baby and probably wants some kid free time with her friends. Either respect her or don’t go. But it’s ridiculous you can’t leave your baby with dad or a grandparent or a sitter for a couple hours. And at 9 months he will be starting to eat solids and won’t need to eat every two hours. Lol. Sounds like you’re looking for an excuse to start some drama. It’s not your baby shower, respect her wishes.
15 Likes
Sounds like a great time for a little time for yourself. Go. Have fun.
Buy a pump. And have your parents watch the baby.
1 Like
Be up front with her and see if you guys can compromise since you are cohosting the shower.
No kid’s!!! It’s a baby shower… I have never been to a baby shower without kids. And 9 months… it’s not like he’s gonna be a Tasmanian devil running a Muk. I’d just not host, pop in for a minute to give blessing/gift. Hug mamma to be and bounce out. Just my opinion 
🤷
9 Likes
You have only 2 opitions really, pump before or donr host it hun because that day is supposed to be about her
1 Like
I wouldn’t host her baby shower, or attend. That’s what I would do.
7 Likes
She’s having a child but doesn’t want kids around maybe she shouldn’t have any🤷♀️
9 Likes
Can you have someone watch the baby wherever you are throwing the shower so your attention isnt spread out? Then whenever the baby needs to feed or something they can just come get you or text you from another room. I understand not wanting to leave baby but you having some adult time will be good for you too and you’ll have more fun if you’re not so worried about baby being too far away.
I have NEVER been to a baby shower where kids weren’t included. Your friend needs to grow up and realize that they are soon going to be a huge part of her life. And u should make it known to her that they should be aloud.
6 Likes
To the people saying a 9 month old can’t go around wreaking havoc… My 9 month old is climbing and crawling and ready to walk. You can’t hold him unless he’s going to sleep. Having said that, I can’t stand people who don’t want kids at events. Like a late night event, ok. But a baby shower?? Half (or more) of the people coming are parents. Dumb. I have no advice, except get more friends with kids, so you don’t have to make these decisions in the future… or throw a party when she has an infant and tell her no kids. Being petty is dumb, but revenge is funny, so…
6 Likes
No kids at a baby shower…
3 Likes
Honestly, just pump a few bottles of milk and leave your baby with their father/grandparent/etc. She is going to have her child for the rest of her life, this is probably going to be the last time she’ll have a “party” without kids, let her have it, it’s not unreasonable. The day is about her, not you.
5 Likes
Bring him, by all means. Your friend will get over it.
3 Likes
I can understand how she would want no kids there. Sometimes where there are babies or toddlers around the party or celebration focus changes to them. I also think it is more than healthy for mom’s to step away from their little ones for a couple of hours.
I personally see both sides to this. Yes it’s a baby shower getting ready to welcome another kiddo into the world BUT Kids add a lot of chaos to things, especially when there are presents and stuff involved. If it were me I would take advantage of a little bit of no kid time and enjoy yourself probably not the most popular reply but it is her baby shower and if that is what she has requested then I would just go with it.
I have no problems with people not wanting kids at specific events but it’s also my choice to attend or not. 99% of the time if it’s kid free I don’t go. My husband works crazy hours and we don’t have the convenience of the kids just staying with him & our closest family member is almost 2 hours away. Just be honest and say you respect her decision but you will not be able to attend and send a gift.
3 Likes
If she’s going to make a ridiculous stipulation like that, knowing you have a kid, I wouldn’t host.
9 Likes
Tell her she can’t come then since she has a damn kid in her belly
You either want a “village” or you want to be alone. It will work itself out eventually… 
4 Likes
I wouldnt go. If my child isnt allowed somewhere im not going
4 Likes
I think the people who say “just pump” dont understand some women can’t.
I personally dont see a problem with a 9 month old. I mean when I think “kid” free I’m thinking about toddlers who run and destroy things. If she is absolutely certain she wants no kids, I’d say sorry that you wont be able to co host.
4 Likes
My baby shower only last about an hour.
1 Like
Y’all are so ignorant
1 Like
It’s her choice, everybody on here loves to talk trash about another woman’s opinion “oh she shouldn’t have kids if she doesn’t want kids at her wedding/baby shower/ party/etc” it’s your choice to host you can tell her no and stay home with your baby. I don’t think she’ll be a shitty mom just because she wants an event without screaming/crying/running around children there. I’m not having children at my reception for my wedding and I have a daughter. That doesn’t make me a shitty mom because I want an event without children. So it’s honestly up to you.
I would back out and say I’m sorry. I can’t be there. Anywhere my children are not welcome, I wont be.
2 Likes
Baby showers usually don’t last that long. So unless you’re quite far away I’m sure your child will be okay. But if you’re not comfortable, then you should let your friend know.
1 Like
I asked all my friends to bring their babies/ kids so they could play together! I would never expect someone to have to pay a sitter to come to my house or do anything for me! Kinda sounds like the kid about to be born is going to be pawned off all the time cause mom dont like children 
Its her party. Either you don’t co-host or you leave your baby for a few hours, which is good for you. She’ll understand how inconvenient “no kids allowed” can be when she has hers. Just let it be about her, not you.
8 Likes
If she cant make an exception I would help in a way that doesn’t require me to be there. If you weren’t cohosting and she said the same, what would you do with your child then?
Dont go. She sounds like she going to be a class A mom.
2 Likes
Its not about you… Its her day… She doesnt want kids there… Feed before you leave and after… At 9 months the baby should be able to go a few hours between a feed
6 Likes
I didn’t want kids either (just not enough space), but I made exceptions for breast fed littles. I’m sure your friend would too.
1 Like
If I can’t bring my bf baby with me chances are I’m not going
1 Like
I don’t see how the focus won’t be on her I had so kids and toddler at my and they werent even a problem I didn’t even notice to be honest we are celebrating life what better way to do it with friends and fam including kids . I had one toddler who came up next to the hubby and I while we opening gift and was helping me unwrap . Her mom look mortified in like she fine she wasn’t causing any harm and we got the cuties pictures w her eventually her mom made her sit w her but it didn’t take from my moment 
1 Like
My shower for my second there was no kids… honestly mostly because I didn’t want my Tasmanian devil of a 3 year old running around, making a mess and being plain annoying. This day the attention was for my new baby and me!
5 Likes