Damn that’s just shitty. You’re hosting her shower and she says that. I wouldnt host it for her then.
She doesn’t want kids, at a baby shower? Is she aware that there will still be one there, growing inside of her? If she can’t handle kids at an event for just a few hours then she’s in for quite the shock when baby is born! However, you are being nice enough to throw her a baby shower so for her to say you can’t bring your own child seems a little ungrateful. Personally I’d tell her to throw her own but wouldn’t show up, if my kids aren’t welcome than neither am I. 🤷🤷🤷 Wouldn’t be to be petty but because my kids come before friends who don’t want them there.
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Pump. Have dad or whoever is gonna watch him feed that way…baby showers aren’t forever long. Prob 3 hours. 🤷 id def respect her wishes.
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Focus on your friend… bringing your baby will be a handful and basically ruin your ability to fully commit to the baby shower and be there for your friend. The best thing in this world to do is be kind… take the high road and just do it. There are enough things in this world to fight over, don’t let this be one.
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Earthier pump before are stay home
Being a stay at home mom, I get really excited about events with no kids allowed. Everyone needs a break sometimes.
But because of your discomfort leaving your baby… maybe have someone else to co-host the shower?
I’m sure if you talk to her you can come to some mutual agreement.
Ummm it’s not your shower, its hers and what she wants
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My son is exclusively breastfed and 9 months old. I just spent 5 hours at lunch catching up with an old friend and left him with his daddy. He was just fine. I’ve only been away from him maybe 3 times since he was born. It was a good baby step. Let your friend have her day (or several hours)…
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Pump your milk and let someone else take care of your child or dont go
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I would pump and find a family member to babysit. However I would tell her I won’t be able to Co host as if I have to leave early cause of the baby. That way you can leave and not feel obligated to stay longer then your comfortable.
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Just tell her “I’m not sure I’ll be able to come because I need to be able to breastfeed” she’ll either say “I’m sorry” or accommodate you
I would ask if she means no nursing babies. If so and you don’t want to pump then let her know you nurse and can’t be separated from your baby. Then she can decide what she wants- If she wants someone else to host and you show for an hour etc.
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Remind her that her child will be there…
It s not about leaving your baby… you can teach her to be without you anytime you want. I won’t be going if my kids are not allowed
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I would respect my friend 100%.
Don’t co host. If she can’t respect you and your choices, just send a card 
I’d rather have my friends and their kids then not have them there at all.
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Tell her she cant come because she got a kid in her belly 
💁
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I wouldn’t want children at my babyshower either.
And it’s really not meant to be insulting.
I mean breastfed babies, or if it meant someone couldn’t come then by all means. I wouldnt refuse a child attending.
But I’m a first time mom, and it’s my last moment with the ladies without having the children around.
There are also one 2 kids in my family. They’d be bored to death at the shower.
I can definitely see why some feel it’s selfish and ignorant. And some people support it.
That’s why it should be up to the expecting mother to decide what she’d like out of the experience.
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Id politely tell her you cant do it unless she can compromise and let your baby be present. A simple conversation with your friend would solve this problem immediately
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I wouldnt host a shower for her then. It’s really silly to say that you dont want children at a baby shower… Send a gift.
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If it’s at your house, then you should be able to have your child there. And it’s an infant now child running around screaming and such.
In my honest opinion she should get use to kids being around, also she should be reminded that very soon she’ll hear those same words from someone and feel the way shes making you and other mothers feel. But opinion aside, talk to her and let her know how it feels on your end to be told no kids welcome when your child needs to be fed and you feed him from your body directly. Try talking to her and see if your child is welcome beings youre the host and he needs to be fed as per his schedule and is fed again from your body directly not through bottles. She’ll either apoligize for making you feel some sort of way and accomodate to you for hosting or she’ll be selfish and stick to no kids. In the end of it you’ll find out whats more important to her, your guys friendship and the fact your child comes first, or her own ego and worrying about being the center of your attention.
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If you don’t want to leave your baby, don’t leave your baby. I’m guessing this is her first child? Just explain to her, and if she can’t accommodate, just send her her gift and card
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Your baby will be 9 months so will have started eating by that stage. Breastfeed your baby, leave a meal with whoever is minding the baby and plan to be home for the next feed. If you’re pumping you could leave a bottle. Baby showers don’t tend to go on too long and I’m sure once all the games etc. are out of the way your friend will understand that you have a baby to get home to. Best of both worlds. Friend is happy, baby is looked after and you can have some time with your pals 
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I wouldn’t host her party then. but that’s me.
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Um, she’s about to be a mom. The not wanting kids there is gonna be no more for her
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Youre hosting and she is telling you no kids are invited?? I would tell her to get a new host.
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There werent kids at mine and tbh I think a baby shower is an adult thing. Kids do not have anything to do at one.
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I requested no kids at my baby shower with my first. Could you maybe have your so bring baby before party starts to feed then come when everybody is leaving for another feed before clean up? It is good to get some time away/apart from babe even if ebf. Or pump when you can sneak away before & after? So or whoever can bottle feed.
I didn’t want kids attending bc I didn’t want attention on them (as selfish as it sounds) and bc I didn’t want kids running around, screaming & crying and interrupting games and gifts. Plus if I would have allowed kids, there would have been more kids than adults. 
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You’re throwing the shower, your baby doesn’t count. If she doesn’t that, too bad. If your child was older, I’d say find someone to watch them…but at 9 months, it’s your decision. If she doesn’t like that, she can deal.
Honestly, I had kids at my baby shower and they were ALL OVER my gifts trying to open them. In the way of taking pictures. And it was very rough. If by the grace of god I ever get pregnant again and I have another baby shower, it’d be child free. Maybe like an adult (with drinks) evening type of baby shower. It’s a personal choice that people should respect. Kids don’t enjoy those things.
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You keep your baby if she doesn’t understand oh well
Withdraw your offer to co-host, send a nice gift and a congratulations card when the baby arrives
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Well your baby is more important then her baby shower and if she can be kind enough to let you bring your baby then why be kind to help throw her a shower. Send a gift and say congrats
Ask if it is ok to bring the baby. She most likely doesn’t want kids that are running around. It doesn’t hurt to ask
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My best friend threw my baby shower and I didn’t want kids their. She had 6 month old twins and was breastfeeding. She fed them before she left and my shower was 2-4. She understood and agreed. I don’t blame her.
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Pump for an ebf baby and make them take a bottle? Yeah no. My son is almost 11 months ebf no bottles or cups and honestly I would plan it for her but have her mother or someone be in charge and just not attend. My gift to her would be the planning of the shower and if she couldnt understand that then oh well
Tell her you won’t be able to host or attend the baby shower. Even now I always try to find a sitter for my kids but if we get told “no kids” I just wont go 
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The baby will be eating food and solids by then, and can go two hours without being fed. Not a newborn any longer. I don’t think she is making an unreasonable request. The baby showers I went to with kids were a disaster. You could even hold it in the evening when baby goes down.
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She probably means no kids that can run around! Doesn’t hurt to ask, just mention you can’t attend due to breastfeeding and would appreciate it if baby can join!
Tell her not to have kids
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It’s her shower, she can do what she wants. My daughter had no kids at her baby shower.
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Bring ur baby if ur hosting good for her
All the women saying commenting on a baby shower with no kids should maybe try to understand that this may be the last event she will get to enjoy with NO KIDS. I know plenty of baby showers that had this rule including my own. I didn’t want the chaos of children during one of the last times I would be child free. May sound selfish but 
It really is her day so if you can’t go a few hours without your baby, don’t co-host.
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I didn’t have kids at my baby shower I didnt have to ask for no kids they already had sitters lined up for it. I cant blame her she may want to relax before she has her own kid.
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I don’t think I’ve ever seen babies or even kids at at baby shower
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Oh, the irony!
Tell her pretty soon she’ll be in the same damn boat! Having a baby shower is celebrating a baby, so to then say no babies allowed is absolutely whack. Tell her baby will be there or you can’t host, and therefore can’t attend no matter where it is as your baby needs your boobies! 
Its her party. She’s allowed to have that preference. And breastfeeding isn’t an excuse to ignore her wishes about HER party (just for the record…stop using it for one because that is how you loose friends)
Stop being callous and careless.
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I would help set up or plan or what ever. Make sure your cohost knows why you wont be staying ahead of time. And go be with your baby. If you are not comfortable leaving your baby then that’s that.
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My lg is 8months and goes to a childminder every day 9am/2pm and is breastfed, she has a feed just before has breakfast there and lunch at 12… I collect her and give her a feed shortly after 2pm there is no problem leaving baby for a few hours, I’d actually encourage you to do so xx
Yea I’ve never understood a baby shower that doesn’t allow babies/kids. I wasnt able to go to a friend’s shower for the same reason, I had never left my son with anyone at that point. I would be upfront and just say you wanted to give her enough time to plan it on her own.
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I had kids and my kiddos at my baby shower I understand that people can’t just leave their kiddos behind. So simply if
Your baby isn’t allowed just don’t go. She has to understand
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Pump some milk and take a little time for yourself… a baby shower doesn’t last that long.
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Maybe she means kids that will run around screaming and stuff, cause alot is just sitting there opening stuff and it’s hard to keep older kids entertained, unless you have a back yard for then to play in.
Honestly I didn’t have kids at my baby shower, but my cousin was breastfeeding her daughter at the time, and she talked to me about it & I said it was fine. A baby has got to eat
She probably wants one last party no kids before all her life is children. It might not hurt for you to have a little space from your baby. If it bothers you that much just step back and let her do her thing
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I breastfed all 3 of my kids. I also pumped so that my husband could bond with/feed them at young ages. Is it possible to pump and have dad stay with the baby? If there is time before the shower maybe try pumping and having dad bottle feed the baby so he gets used to it. It is your friends choice what happens at her shower and you offered to help. If not being able to bring your baby is a deal breaker don’t host and don’t go.
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I’d be straight up with my friend and talk it over with them. The two of you might be able to come to some sort of compromise. If not you can politely retract your co-hosting offer and let her know you won’t be in attendance. OR you can plan ahead, pump and set up a trusted sitter for a few hours and plan to leave early if need be.
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Let someone else host it. Make an appearance, and go home when you need to.
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You’ll want to let her know sooner rather than later. Express your feelings to her about your baby and breastfeeding. I know how uncomfortable it is to not be able to feed your baby because you aren’t near them. And finding time to pump is difficult sometimes. 2 of my friends that are sisters went to a baby shower. (One was currently breastfeeding her baby that was only a few months old). Little did they know it was a child free event. My one friend went in and the other one was told she couldn’t come in with her child and that she needed to go. She went and cried and sat in the car until it was over. 
Why offer to do it if you cant actually do it?
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I didn’t have kids at my shower either because I didn’t want them running around being a pain in the butt. Babies weren’t included in that , if you can hold them or keep them in a stroller it was fine for me.
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I’m sure u bringing ur baby would be fine. She probably doesn’t want toddlers running all over the place.
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Wait hold up. She’s having a baby. And she doesnt want children at her baby shower. And the person hosting the bany shower has a child. I think she’s being a total snoot.
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Unless your baby can breastfeed and run around at the same time bring the infant. No toddlers allowed perhaps.
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I understand not wanting kids if she doesn’t have any yet. So either pump and have someone watch LO or speak to her about it.
Maybe you should communicate the issue to her lmfao
Like an adult…
“Hey so as you know I am breastfeeding, if I am not able to bring my child it is probably a good idea for me to step down as hostess.”
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So out of curiosity why did you offer to host? The reason I ask is that if you are hosting a shower or even cohosting you would be busy doing stuff for the shower during said shower. So from the sounds of it I don’t know how you would juggle that your baby. However since you offered I would pump before the shower and find a sitter. But if you aren’t comfortable leaving your child for a couple of hours then I would rescind your offer to cohost and either not go and explain why you aren’t going. I would get not going to the shower if it said no kids but you did offer to cohost but doesn’t sound like you really thought it out so kind of put yourself in tough position
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Your friend is smart. It’s about her not you. If you dont like it then suck it up or dont host
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She’ll understand later when she starts turning events down when she has a kid and cant go, babysitter. She wont want to leave her kid when she’s breastfeeding. I turned down plenty.
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It’s her baby shower and she can make the rules. She can also THROW THE BABY SHOWER HERSELF! I wouldn’t leave my ebf son for this.
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9 months old is old enough to be away from mom for a few hours
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It is her party, if she doesn’t want kids there then that’s her choice. Maybe you could just leave a little early
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Well she’s going to change her tune after SHE has a baby lol.
By 9 months old your baby will be fine away from you for a few hours with a bottle of pumped breast milk and baby food.
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Talk to her about. I’m sure she would understand. One kid isn’t gonna kill her or the baby shower.
Plus it’s at your home
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Good thing this isn’t about you. Either don’t host it/go or find a baby sitter and pump/give formula. This is not something to be offended by in my opinion.
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- It’s her shower she can choose who she wants to attend.
- How are you gonna host if you’re watching your own baby?
- If you can’t find a babysitter, don’t go or host it. Simple.
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Easy enough, I wouldn’t go because she sounds nuts lol
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I would just bring my baby. 
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I didnt have kids at my baby shower i think it made it so much better. Dont go if you cant go without ur child with you.
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You’re hosting it’s your choice where your child is!
You can leave a nine month old long enough for a baby shower. I wouldn’t want to deal with kids at mine personally, I mean I feel like babies are not the same as whining toddlers but 🤷
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It’s her day, personally I had an all inclusive baby shower (women, men, and kids) but ultimately it’s her day and she should be able to celebrate the way she wants to and if you can’t host it the way she wants you should ask her to find someone else to host it
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Have you actually spoken to her about your concern? Most baby showers/weddings I’ve been to that say NO KIDS are generally fine with breast feeding babies, just don’t want a house full of kids running around. Also inviting kids means to add extra food and entertainment suitible for kids. I’m always happy when it says no kids cause then I actually get to enjoy myself too.
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if you are hosting it & if it’s at your house, then have it for 2 hrs & then throw everyone’s ass out so you can breastfeed your baby. if you are having it elsewhere, then you leave after 2 hrs so you can breastfeed your baby. Problem solve
Unless someone has exclusively breastfed a child they just have absolutely no concept of why you wouldn’t want to leave your child for that amount of time. Your baby is more important, and when she has her baby she will understand
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Let her figure out her own shower
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Tell her to find someone else to host baby shower! She is about to have a baby she will then see how difficult it is. Unless she ends up dumbing the baby on whoever…
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How are you gonna host it if you’re preoccupied with your baby? You probably shouldn’t have offered to host in the first place if you can’t give the shower, and your friend, your undivided attention .
Also, if your friend doesn’t want babies/kids at her shower then that should be respected. If it’s her first baby then it’s one of her last chances for a nice relaxing afternoon just about her and if she already has kids then it will be a welcome break for her before chaos ensues
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Have you asked if she’s including your child in the whole not wanting children thing? I didn’t want children at my wedding but told my breastfeeding bridesmaid she could bring her son if needed. On the other hand, if you’re hosting, it will be so much easier to do if someone else watches your child. I’m a SAHM.who hates leaving my 6mo old exclusively breastfed son, but we both need space away from eachother. I’ve left for a party and we are leaving for a kid free wedding. Pump and find someone to watch the babe for a bit, I’m sure you’ll be so busy hosting that you’ll be happy to not have the worry of caring for your child at the same time.
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I would either leave my kids with their father or not host the shower. Not everyone wants kids at their events. They want to be able to enjoy themselves without a bunch of kids around. This is probably gonna be the last thing she has that’s all about her.
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I would bring my freaking kid if I’m hosting her damn party. Or peace out girl scout and not host. That’s ridiculous.
Shouldn’t have offered to host. Either tell her you can’t be the host or don’t bring your kid. The day is about her and what she wants, not you or your child. My baby shower 2 years ago and my upcoming shower, I said no kids. The guests will either figure it out or not come.
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It’s a baby shower… to celebrate her having a baby… and she doesnt want you to bring your baby when you’re doing a wonderful thing by hosting it???
It’s not a bachelorette party by saying kids cant come she is going to miss out on a lot of people coming and a lot of gifts if she needs them
Jeez
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Don’t host it, let her do it or someone else do it.
Sometimes you can’t just leave your baby, it would be different being a child…
I wasn’t able to go to a lot of things because of no kids allowed, i do have 5 kids tho but i never had a babysitter, so i never went
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I’m assuming she comes from a huge family or has an extensive guest list…depending where the shower is, that can het expensive…a kid free any kinda party is not uncommon in my family cuz there’s SO MANY of us…and i can’t/wont judge the preggo mom either way…it’s her shower, if she doesn’t want kids there, that’s her prerogative
Let her know if that’s the case you can’t host it due to baby being only BF. Hopefully she’ll be fine with baby coming along.
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Tell her you’re sorry but she’s going to have to find someone else to organize a childless party because your child is so important to you and you can’t leave them too long and would have to leave the party early anyways… #childrenfirst
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Is there someone you could bring with you to watch your baby maybe in another area of the place the shower is at while you’re hosting so that you’re able to give her and her shower your undivided attention and only have to sneak off for a few minutes when it’s time to feed him? If so, maybe see if she’d be comfortable with that arrangement instead.
Where is it being hosted? The only way I can see you absolutely being in the right for putting your foot down and bringing your baby would be if you were hosting it in your own home or paying money out of your own pocket towards a venue. Other than that, whether its ridiculous or not, it’s what she wants and by offering to help host her shower, you’ve agreed to help give her the day that SHE envisioned. It’s a tough situation but if she’s your friend there should be no problem having a normal conversation with her and saying, “look I really just don’t feel comfortable leaving my baby for that long without me and I respect your wishes of not wanting kids at your shower so maybe it’s best if I step down from co-hosting and attend for as long as I can since I am exclusively breastfeeding”. She may very well understand and make an exception but you have to at least give her that chance first. Because whether you agree with her decision or not, as her friend you should give her as much notice as possible about your situation/options so that she can make the decision from there or make other arrangements if needed. You are entitled to your own wants and needs just as much as she is hers for her baby shower, but if neither of you are willing to be flexible then you may end up needing to step away from hosting and either attend as just a guest or not at all.
Whatever you end up doing, try not to let it put a strain on your friendship and remember that pregnancy brain is real and can seriously mess with your rationale. Take the high road whenever possible! Best of luck 
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I would talk too her and if its doesn’t change her mind then let someone else handle it and stay home .
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