How would you feel if you heard your husband saying to his friends. “Yeah my first marriage was my real one” I came home from my moms house and he knew I just got home. My husband was in the man cave with his friends and I can hear them from the kitchen. They’re drinking and I heard him say yeah”my first marriage was my real one.” Let me keep y’all in mind we been having problems for 2 months now. And we have been talking about separating but I’m still here in his house at least he can do is respect me when I’m here. So when I heard him laughing. I walk in that room and said oh yeah your first marriage was your real one” I was talking crap to him in front of his friends. His friends didn’t say nothing. Not one word to me. I told him you can talk all the crap you want about me but you will not do it when I’m in the other room. I’m so hurt mad and angry. Was I wrong for making a sense in front of his friends. How would y’all feel or handled it if y’all heard something like this? I’m to the point were I just want to get up and leave.
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. I overheard my husband tell his friends his first marriage was his real one: Advice?
If you guys have been talking about separating then it’s time to do it. He knew you would hear what he said and he wanted you to hear it. He trying to get you to leave. What’s the point of staying if you feel unwelcome and unloved? You can’t make someone respect you or love you if they don’t want to be with you anymore. Talk to your mom about you staying with her for a little while until you can save money and get your own place.
Id say, oh yeah well then why don’t you go back to her. And leave him real quick.
So why are you still there
So the only thing I would have done different is to pack my chit and leave immediately. And never look back.
i would’ve handled it so morally wrong, dressed like a slut and giving his friends the “i’m fucking you in my head right now” look so i think you handled it very well. you can’t force respect or love, he knew you’d be able to hear him and he still said it, seems like he’s trying to get you to break it off officially because he doesn’t have the balls. i’d get everything in order and leave.
Girl. Y’all are done. So it’s time to go or he needs to to (depending on who’s house it is etc) his ex can have him. Sounds like he isn’t over it
Sounds like yall are toxic
What u still doin there? Girl u got the green light apparently it ain’t gona work just move on lots of other guys will appreciate what they have .
Nope not wrong. Put that manchild in his place. Friends or not, they should have shut him down for saying such shit!!! But most men are weak minded when with their mates and won’t say anything… Disrespectful asf
Send him on his merry way … if his first marriage was ‘the real one’ why didn’t it last for him to now be remarried … don’t you leave tell him to move out
With what info you have provided I would’ve left without a word, and returned to retrieve my things later.
I would have had stuff packed and holding bags while you said it.
I’d show him what a real divorce looked like!
Girl, I woulda been gone packed up some clothes for a couple days and right back to my moms. I’ll be damned if anyone will disrespect me.
I take it it’s not your house? Do you not have anywhere to go? As I really can’t see why you’re still there?
Should of quietly packed your shit and left.
If his first marriage was his real one then where is she, she ran too for a reason
Ahhh why dont u just leave or then put up wirh him but don’t give him crap
honor yourself… leave …
I’d have asked him to leave
I think you were fair to but I think it’s time you make the move and leave his ass. He obviously knows stuff like this hurts you so why stay? He probably purposely said it just to “show his friends” that “your the problem”.
Go be happy hun. Know your worth!!
Obviously it is time to leave
That’s ultimate disrespect time to go talk to an attorney and start separating any joint finances. I wouldn’t be able to let that slide. At. ALL! That is cruel treatment and any court would agree. Play nice and don’t let him see it coming either. Don’t just pack up and leave especially if children are involved… you have every legal right to be there…he can leave.
Girl leave. He is something else. Says his first was his real marriage but yet where is she? Why is he still not married to her then? He is junk. Leave and never look back. He will be miserable forever and never find anyone
If it was real why are they not still together???Would I have said anything in front of his friends???No…now why they were even on the conversation idk….if y’all can’t communicate to move move forward and not bash each other in front of friends it definitely time to move on
That was your deal breaker love. He’s not worth it he does value you.
Then leave him. Tell him to go back to his “real one”
It’s just going to get worse. Leave
I would have thrown his clothes on the front porch and told him his stuff is ready to go back to his real marriage
He would have had a suitcase packed and gone home with one of those friend
Girl always respect your name, he had no right to do that. Good for you, start packing and don’t look back.
Well then get up and leave
Where were your kids during this?! Did they hear this exchange too?! Grab your kids and leave. So sad because you know he wanted you to hear that.
I would leave and I would of said something to right in front of his friends
Glad you said something. Alcohol is truth serium
Unless his ex passed if it was the real one they would of still been together. He was disrespectful not you . Time to pack up on leave him , sounds like nobody will be the “real one” after the ex .
The fact that he said what he said in front of his friends gives you every right to say every word you said in front of them! He put his friends in the middle by making his rude comment! If the first was the real one, she’d still be there! Go file for your paperwork and find someone who deserves you!!!
I would be hurt and upset too. The only thing there is to do is pack up an leave. He’s made his feelings clear. What you need to understand though, is that he was half of your relationship. He entered into it willingly. You didn’t force him. So, you are not at fault for the failure of this relationship. He should never have consented to it in the first place if he still held a torch for his first woman. You just happened to be handy when he got lonely. It’s not your fault.
What’s the point in getting married if he’s still hung up on the ex all you do is waste your time with someone who doesn’t even love you
You handled it right! You have every right to defend yourself . He’s a jerk & you deserve better.
You should just leave. I know how he feels from past relationships, and let me tell you how much he doesn’t give not 1 single fuck about your feelings or respecting you. He WANTS you to get so pissed you leave. It isn’t going to stop until you do. All the love and respect is completely gone by this point and it will not be coming back. Leave with your dignity in tact.
First off. You said you just got home. He wouldn’t know you was there. Secondly. Why ain’t you gone already. He obviously doesn’t respect you by blasting you infront of his friends.
I would leave especially if I’d been having problems for past few months
I would have showed my ass 200%
I wouldn’t of caused a scene, just packed up my stuff and left.
You’ve been having problems.
You’ve been talking about separating.
He’s venting to his friends. Haven’t you vented to your friends?
You overhead something you weren’t meant to overhear.
Perhaps, you were intentionally eavesdropping.
Perhaps alcohol was involved.
So do you handle the issue like a mature adult?
Nope, let’s make a scene…
I want to ask you again, have you never vented to your friends about your husband,
Vented about the one that got away.
Vented about a past relationship, that in hindsight, seems more perfect than it was.
You know you must probably have.
If you two have any feelings of love, I would suggest therapy. Counseling might help repair your marriage.
If it can’t, therapy can help make the separation and divorce ancient amicable.
I wish you both well.
You handled it right! It’s one thing to vent to your friends about your relationship but to say something like that is really out of line and disrespectful
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You know men need to talk themselves up to their guy friends. I wouldn’t put much stock in it, especially if you are about done with him.
If you’ve been having problems and talking about separating then do it. Take the kids and leave.
Go on leave dont torture yourself any longer
Girl look lol I probably would have threw daggers at them too! Your human and your feelings are hurt do not apologize for him being mean! I’d definitely let him know he now failed another marriage and roll out
I would have ignored him for the fact that he was intentionally trying to ruffle your feathers and by reacting, you gave him the satisfaction of knowing he achieved what he was shooting for.
Now this isn’t advice, I’m just saying what my petty self would have done:
I would have called my best friend and talked to her just loudly enough to be heard in the man cave. Telling her how much I missed my ex’s , especially since it had been so long since I’d been with a real man who knew how to properly use their . I’d then tell her how sorry I felt for my current partner bc of his micropenis condition. That even though he’s a jerk, you felt it was a subconscious defense bc of his insecurity living with a micropenis
Anyway. Best of luck!
He deserved it. He’s a coward for that and his friends should know it.
Just leave! He certainly is not worth the broken heart all of the time! Good luck honey!
It’s time to end it and move on after being disrespected like that, tell him to go back to his first wife then
Pick yourself up, document everything, file for divorce and start over. You deserve someone who is going to treat you better
Why did he leave his first wife? Did he cheat on her and have now realized that he had something good he didn’t respect or cherish back then?
I would have done the same thing. Leave him all he’s doing is humiliating you.
If his 1st marriage was so real then what happened with that? You were right calling him out.
I would have said, 'yea, your first marriage was your real one, But this marriage will still cost you after I am finished with you :)" And then pack my stuff & leave
No you had every right to stick up for yourself. That was disrespectful on his part.
I would have cussed him out
You’re better than me because I would have went IN on him AND his friends. Sitting in MY house, disrespecting me. Nah.
And men wonder why women end up on the show snapped lol
I don’t think you over reacted at all. And if his friends were “Real Men” they would have called him out on his comment letting him know it wasn’t cool to disrespect you. You did the right thing by standing up for yourself when no one else did…get out now before you loose yourself trying to be the “real wife”…
What would his first wife have done
What’s that? A chocolate laxative cake just for him?? So sweet of you!!!
I’d be in jail waiting to be bonded out
It’s time to end it and leave. I would have asked him, if the first marriage was the real one, then why the hell aren’t you still married to her? Go back to the real marriage
I would have gotten the papers and made him sign it right in front of his friends. See how bold he when he pushed to one end of the corner now.
He had the balls to say it in front of his friends, then he has the balls to get corrected in front of his friends too. Even if he just said it out of anger, the current problems, etc. It was still rude of him & didn’t need to be said at all. You had every right to show your anger/frustration. And if his first marriage was such a “real” marriage, why did it end? that’s what I would’ve asked him
I would have done the same thing and then packed my bags and left
Quit putting yourself through the torture. Leave.
Nuh I would’ve done the same. Walk right in there and tell him straight. It may not be good terms for you two right now but that’s no excuse for the disrespect.
He probably thought you wouldn’t say anything knowing his mates were over if he said it loud enough for you to hear and knowing you were home. Sounds like a j**k to me tbh. His mates clearly aren’t any better for not pulling him up but I guess you can’t expect much.
Clearly showing you that you’re better off without him dragging you down
Guess that shows you his true colors and the separation should continue. I don’t feel like you made a scene. He was acting like an a $$ in front of his friends. If he gaslights you into making you feel bad about it instead of apologizing and living up to the apology. Not just apologize and continue to do his nonsense because he knows you’ll let him. Show him you will stand up for yourself. Show him you won’t take the disrespect. That will show whether or not he can handle a real relationship and take responsibility for his actions. If he can’t he’s not worth being in a real relationship.
I would have done the same
Girl you SHOULD leave. That’s fucked up. If yall already been talking about separating, you should just do it… sounds like there’s already bad blood between yall and if it’s not that serious yet, like not splitting the bills, no co-ownership on anything, you gotta decide if this can fixed, or if either of you even WANT to fix it.
Absolutely not. His disrespect was loud. Set your boundaries even louder
I would have told all
Of them to fucking leave since he wanna get disrespectful
I do not understand why some people force them self staying living where they are not longer wanted or welcome
He’s not a real thinking man. Gross actually. If his first marriage was the real one he’d still be in it, Duh…what an idiot thing to say.
I would leave. him making that statement knowing you were there in the house is embarrassing. he’s a jerk
I would have packed , had my stuff at the door ready, then say something in front of his friends and leave
Nope I would’ve did the same thing, it was his “real one”? HA but they divorced sooo
I would of done the same thing!!
It’s time to throw in thw towel hun. I’m sorry but he’s showed his true colors
I would have said great if it’s not real let’s let’s talk about how to coparent and find you an apparent or RV stat.
I guess it was his first real divorce too!
So you want him to respect you in his home while you are perfectly fine with disrespecting him in his home infront of his friends? Might as well leave and file the divorce sooner rather then later.
Women say so much worse things about their men when getting ready/going through a separation, but it’s all ok when they do it. And shouldn’t be a problem when the man hears it cause “it’s true” But god for it a man do it and a woman hear it. Then it’s the end of the world. 
Tell him his first house was his real one, and send him back there
I’d say you thought that first divorce was real wait till this one
Show him his first real divorce
I wouldn’t have said a word. That would have been the switch that needed flipping to start making my exit strategy. There would be ZERO wifely activities from this point forward. We are officially roommates
You go girl! So many posts I see these women just staying quiet. I think you did great by defending yourself!
Sod that…I be off and wouldn’t look back
Good for you standing up for yourself!
Y’all have already talked about separating so y’all aren’t really on great terms. I’d say leave.
I would have filed for a divorce the next day also