It’s worth an appointment with the doctor. It could be her age but it could also be Oppositional Defiance Disorder. I’ve worked with kids these same type of issues and about half of them were diagnosed with it.
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I’m a mom of two adult girls now but boy there were hard times. Try a behavior chart. Good, bad, and could have been better. Reward for small steps. Do not Reward Bad Behavior. She should know the repercussions of certain behavior. Tough Love Mom. Say what you mean and Always do what you say. Don’t backpedal. Hope it helps. Prayers 
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I would take away all her things and not give them back untill shes shows she can have it back. I mean everything, toys, tv, tablets, no junk food, healthy foods and meals, no juice just water/ milk etc. Anytime she asks for somthing just say nope not untill u can act right…
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Also try giving her some control over things even as simple as which fork to use at dinner,I saw this advice on teal swans page and it works gives them back some control when they are behaving out of control 
Yes I still go tru it almost everly day with my daurgeter she is bipolar And autism Asperger’s and ODD AND ADHD AND OCD AND CAN FLIP OUT AND DO A 180 TURN ON DIME JUST BY SAIDING GOOD MORNING CAN SET THE HOLD DAY INTO HELL UNTILL SHE STOPS HER SELF THEY CAN DETROIT YOUR HOUSE IN MINS AND YOU CANT STOP THEM THE LOOK ALONG IN THERE EYES WHEN THIS IS HAPPENING IS KILL HATE THEN THE CRYING STARTS WHEN THEY GO BACK TO THERE ROOM.ITS HELL TO LIVE WITH AND NO ANF I MEAN NO MEDS HELP AT ALL
Maybe something terrible has happened to her and she’s angry. I would take her to a counselor and sit her down and ask her if everything is ok, ask her if someone has hurt her or if something had happened to upset her so much.
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Maybe a chemical imbalance, just try to reason with her, or ignore her totally. Maybe if you ignore her she will see how loving n kind you are and start to realize her behavior is wrong
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walk away when she first starts keep walking for as long as u have to do not respond to her at all till she stops
Let her pick the shoe the switch or the belt then use it. Worked for us
Take everything out of her room. Leave the mattress on the floor, give her 7 changes of clothes. The only thing she could do is go to school and bac, if they are doing in school
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We went through this. My son thought he was on the same level as us. We took everything away, ignored and even gave him a spanking. He knew punishment was temporary and willing to wait it out. Nothing but therapy helped. We would all go in at the beginning of the session and then for the last 45 mins it would be our son. He was very mean to our daughter to the point she was scared for her life. They did many sessions together and now get along great. We started therapy when he was 13 and now he is 16. I wish we would have done it sooner. One very important thing is she that likes her therapist. Otherwise she will not talk. Best of luck!
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This is my 6 year old to a T - it’s been a long road, I’ve known something was up since she was 2 - doctors just always said she’s just stubborn or people would be like oh she’s a Gemini makes so much sense - once we hit kindergarten people finally took me seriously because it was effecting her education - currently diagnosed with anxiety, working on a possible ADHD diagnosis as well as exploring ODD (oppositional defiance disorder) - right now she’s taking Zoloft, has an IEP at school as well as attends behavioral therapy - I know it’s hard but advocate for her, you are her voice for others to take it seriously - as for me coping I just have to remind myself that all the thoughts and energy and craziness my daughters little body is experiencing must be soooo overwhelming and scary, she doesn’t mean to take it out in me, I’m just her safe space and just breathing in and reminding myself that as long as I am advocating for her I am a great mom doing everything I can do to help her succeed
Spank that behind. Dont be scared your the mom not her. Its not child abuse its letting her know she can’t be doing all that.
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The first question is have you talked to her dr about this before? If you have and you have gotten no where then you need a different one… I have a great dr i can suggust to you speaking from a parent that did and at some points still has the same problems with my now 7yr old daughter. Your first step take all electronics alone with anything that she really likes to play with. Its called your home she will listen to you to have them back. You are the mom and have the right to take what ever it takes to get her attention. Remember work on one thing with her at a time, like dont work on listening to you and screaming. Your best bet like I did work on first things that go together like calming methods and screaming at you. Use something she really like as calming like music
Watch the movie the Bad Seed sounds just like her, then put her in a corner of her choice. Remember your the boss not her. She knows what she is doing, just pushing your buttons, if that doesn’t work call Dr Phil. Cause you have a definite problem.
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Been there. We found counseling can help but also we got creative with punishments - everything from giving her some gloves and a Walmart sack and making her pick up dog poop 
(we have a great Dane so there was plenty) and taken away everything she does care about - name brand clothes and shoes replaced with plain white t shirts from Walmart and cheap Walmart shoes, ect. It was amazing how much better she was after not having her stuff she wanted for a while. I’ve also heard of others taking their bedroom door off the hinges to make a statement.
I have a now 10 year old who use to do this. She has adhd/odd. I took her to therapy and it really helped a ton. I know that’s usually not what any parent wants to do. But that taught her so much. Helped get to the root of the problem things that were beyond my control. Therapy taught her and even myself how to self control. Good luck momma💙
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I’m currently going thru this with my 9 year old son! I am at a complete loss just like you are… my 8 year old other son is the complete opposite as him and I’ve raised them exactly the same.
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I actually know some people how purpose take their kid to do a tour of the Juvenile hall just to scare them 
parents are different
This my mom’s phone. I’m Tiffany Buohl you just described my 5 and a half year old to the tee. He is currently in counseling but just started. If it does work I feel like I’m going to end up losing it
They pick up so much from our energy too,and how they make us feel is the same as the way they feel 
Have you just asked her why she does a certain behavior?
Ask if she wants to help set the dinner. Table
It’s the age my does the same thing
I deal with it daily with my 5 yr old son. I’ve found nothing that works. Please keep me posted!
Spare the rod, spoil the child, stop trying to be her friend you are the parent.
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Time to speak to the doctor and get a referral for a thorough assessment. I went through the same thing.
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Let me know what you find out. Hugs! I know its rough.
Take her to church…and you go with her.
Apple cider vinegar. Taste gross and is completely safe. Worked with my daughter mouth.
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My six year old is the exact same way, and has been since around 10 months old. We’ve done all the same stuff you’ve tried to no avail as well. Not even counseling/therapy helped. The therapist cancelled sessions because none of the advice she had to give worked. My kid will be golden for about a day and then an absolute monster for several weeks straight. It’s exhausting. I wish I had some advice for you, but I’m in the same boat you are. 
Children learn what they live.
Self regulation and counseling… ignore some of these ignorant comments.
Check out Brain Balance Center
Check in to Conscious Discipline.
beat her ass on a regular basis every time she opens her mouth to say anything but please and thank you and yes mam … spare the rod spoil the child !! be the parent and stop trying to be her BFF . take her TV time take her phone delete her facebook snap chat tic tok take it make her earn it back with good behavior … stop reading books written by DR.'s and doing programs and get you a good leather belt and a strong right arm ! if you are to weak either in body or mind have her dad do it this is to save her future because if not taken care of now she will end up in big trouble later in life drugs pregnant drop out of school
Soap in the mouth or siracha under the tongue. Or good old fashion can of whoop ass. 
worked on me and my siblings. Either that or send her ass to the psych ward.
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some of the women in these comments are disgusting…you people are talking about child abuse. negative reinforcement only reinforces negative behavior. fucking boomers…youre so fucked up.
Do you have her in church? Give her a good dose of The Word…
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Have you tried God! I mean a church for you both to attend! May God Bless you Momma and your lil girl too 
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Breathe… it does get better❤️
I would get Counceler see doctor and also join a group on facebook called respectful parenting for tweens and teens and you need to see doctor for your nerve problems this can be stressful and you have to take care of yourself to I found by staying calm having a talk at table of what consequences will be for xyz behavior and following through helps when you give consiqiunces and they scream and throw fit respond calmly with I see and hear your upset I communicated with you what was going to happen if you did xyz you made the choice to do xyz and walk away once child is calm approach ask if you guys can talk tell child I am not trying to fight but I would like to understand why did you do xyz today were you felling angry, sad, etc? Next time you feel xyz what are some things we can do different? And always end with I love you and a hug if child is OK with it
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I was like this and it turns out I has BPD and struggled with emotion regulation.
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Also around puberty is when kids make “the change” you have to lay down the law or the rest of the teen years will be a nightmare for you… The coddling and counseling bullshit will make it worse. Clear boundaries and absolute consequences are so important.
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I talked back ONE time and my momma chased me with a wooden spoon. I couldn’t sit. I never talked back again. That moment taught me alot. I think kids get away with way to much a ass whooping was a punishment you learned from not abuse. Good luck
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I believe the child must be taught to understand how the other side feels. Screaming at her doesn’t help but if when you both cool off you show her how she hurt you and you understand how you are hurting her it will go along way to solving this problem. The same is true for when she does great things and you understand that
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Maybe the two of u need space. Can u send her to her grandparents or an aunt for a few days? Maybe when she misses u she will realise just how much u mean to her
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Sorry to hear your struggles. Definitely make sure she understands YOU are the parent, the one to be respected and IN CHARGE. And yeah, a lot of people are going to say, when I was that age…well, things are different now, unfortunately.
Now, honestly it sounds like a possible chemical imbalance issue. I don’t know about this ODD business but…check her for food allergies, as well. It sounds crazy but I e experienced an outrageous child due to a milk allergy of all things! Therapy for everyone, too. Mom needs to vent. Kiddo needs to explain what’s going on in her little mind.
Nothing in her room to play with and send her there until she apologizes. Keep doing it! Everyone says to take them to psychologists but what has that solved for many of my friends? Nothing but years of appointments. 1 friends son has been going since he was 3 and he’s almost 16 and still out of control. They should get nothing for holidays, Birthdays, or just plain gifts until they stop the bad behavior. Clothing is about it and I’d buy that at goodwill. My kids weren’t perfect but they knew that they’d be hell to pay if they ever talked back to me. I never lifted a finger to them but I did get my point across. When they got older and 1 decided that he was going to report me I told him to go ahead, I wonder what your foster home will be like. That was the end of that.
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I use to be like this…it was called spoiled little brat syndrome. My poor mother put me into judo, kapa haka and swimming club to divert my attention and anger away from her. Also took everything I owned away accept my bed, blankets and clothes. Made me realise the value of things when I didnt get it back for months.
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I would look into ODD for her, it’s something I have seen in young children and with the correct approach (usually therapy) it can get better! Sending positives vibes to you and prayers something helps soon!
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Give attention to behaviors you want to see more of; absolutely, completely ignore behaviors you want to decrease. (Go in another room if you must to truly ignore, even by body language or facial expression)
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Question… Is she always on a device? Tablet, videogame or computer? My son and now grandson who is 7 acted this way and it all came from device addiction. Just asking.
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Consistency is key. Do not break or sway from your punishments. Completely empty out her room
Besides her bed and clothes. Make her do your house work, plus what her required chores are.
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Have you heard of oppositional defiant disorder? Maybe take her to a child psychologist who can observe her interacting with you or who can talk to her to get to the root of the problem. There’s no shame in needing an expert’s help sometimes in life.
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For the love of god don’t hit your kid I don’t know why anyone would think that hitting would solve the issues your having with her if anything it will make it way worse your doing the best you can don’t listen to some of these so called perfect parents no one has it all together keep the appointment there could be something wrong on a different level and have you thought of counseling or finding ways to get her frustration ( walking punching her pillow ect) out these are hard times we are living in and she’s going threw a lot i know you said you have tried talking to her don’t give that up communication is very important have you tried talking to her after things have cooled down? Or leaving each other message so you both feel heard as far as discipline goes start taking her things away everything except her bed and clot and don’t buy her anything new until she can learn respect mine is 6 and she’s ungrateful sometimes so I always remind her there are people out there with no food or water or toys and have to eat dirt to live and I show her pictures because I want her to know how good she has got it I try to be honest with my daughter and always tell her things can get worse so maybe that will work best of luck momma don’t give up your doing. Fine
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Sounds like my granddaughter. She has ADD. She can’t process things the same way other kids do. When she gets over stimulated, things go crazy. Keep track of what’s going on in the day. You will find the trigger point. Keep instructions simple. You can’t say go clean you room, or put your toys away. It has to be put your doll on the shelf. Put your clothes in the hamper. Not pick up your clothes and, etc. The brain stops at the first instruction . An easy test for ADD, give her a little caffine. If she calms down, that’s a good indicator. Caffine works differently for the ADD brain. We use chocolate covered espresso beans.
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Had a cousin like this. My aunt made her put soap in her mouth every time she argued or talked back.
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Maybe she is facing problems with her studies/friends/ or with other persons at home . When something upsets or make her angry … she only shows to you . I hope , change of place ( even for 2 days ) ll bring good changes . Try a weekend getaway, only u and her . Keep ur mob away laptops away , play talk giggle . That’s what a kid want’s
Tough love or punishment going to make things worse . In this tender age ,every kids wants to be loved , pampered ,nurtured in a safe place of mother .
Note - friends to play with. Device addiction is the strong reason too.
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Children should never get away with any bad behavior. I can just about bet she’s never been spanked just like most kids now days. It doesn’t hurt to put the feel of God in them from a young age.
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Ignore her don’t give her the attention when she is acting that way
Have her write a list of things she would like to do with you. Cook? Learn family recipes? Watch a movie, read a book? Talk about boys ? Maybe she doesn’t know why she’s unhappy. How about learn to sew and turn her room into her fantasy with paint and new curtains she sews at home
My parents raised 7 kids. We all had disaplin. When we were disrespectful we were punished. If you havent disaplined your child. You might think about doing so now. Love and raising your kids to listen and behave is a reflection on the parents. Remember you can disaplin without being abusive. Thats just my opinion. Todays kids have many things that are different then when I was growing up. We all answered with yes sir or no sir. Mam as well
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Psychologist it may take her time but eventually she will let out what the real problem is .she is angry ,hurting or scared of something and it won’t get better untill the problem comes out .Just letting you know from my own personal account.Good luck and God bless
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Arielle Fisicaro. I think that was kind of harsh of you to say. Come on you can tell if a child is ungrateful. And they can be. Children can just have episodes like this for no reason, it doesnt mean this mother did something to hurt this child. I think maybe your own mother hurt you so bad you automatically assume the worst, for that im sorry for you
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kids communicate the best way they can. the assumption is that they are deliberately being willful. It’s hard for them to tell you what is troubling them. no person likes feeling out of control. bit by bit, encourage her not to just tell you what’s wrong but how she is doing. what makes her calm, what frustrates her.
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Take everything away no tvnothing make her stay in room she’s not the boss. 8years old would of gave her a good hit in the but my grandkids don’t listen to there mom I go over as a grandma and take things away and they sit there now days kids think there the boss n
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My daughter is also 8 years old she has been diagnosed adhd and me and my wife are currently going through a similar situation with her. She also had an appointment on feb 16th for behavioral therapy everything i have read points to odd go listen to what this dr has to say about odd it really opened my eyes to the problem and helped me to understand how she is feeling hopefully i can get her some help cause i really dont know how much longer i can take it
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My son is the same we he has behavioral issues that he sees a doctor for I’d recommend testing and counseling/therapy for sure
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Don’t yell back. Follow thru with discipline if you say you’re going to take a toy away or leave the store if they keep up their attitude then you need to follow their with it.
If your kid can sit in school and mind the teacher. Then it’s not a something is wrong with my kid issue. It’s im not controlling my house. Like I said before u take control over your house the child has no choice but to give in cause they know they can’t win.
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I’m
Not trying to be mean but my grandkids or any kids walk over me if it’s only cause she wants her way you got to be on these kids when there smalli gear my grandkids talking back to there mom I’m on it I bring there stuff home with me I don’t care if they cry game handles I tell them I’ll wait till I hear there doing better or nope I keep them
I have not but i just want to give you a hug!
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Take EVERYTHING away from her except her bed and a few clothes. And give it back peice by peice rewarding her when she’s good. And repeat for her punishment. It worked wonders with my daughter. Let her stay in her room. No phone, tv etc. All you have to give your kids is necessities!!! Extras are privileges and you don’t reward ridiculous behavior and disrespect
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Love and Logic - parenting with Love and Logic. Might be a thought.
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I’ll be damedcif my grandkids talk back I’ll hit them I’m sorry I’m old school sit her down tell her why she’s punish
Take her to a specialist. Have her speak to a psychologist. Something is making her act out
Maybe she need to see a doctor.
Give her medicine… or a whippin.
Wow I would not tolerate this behaviour from my kids ever, just one look and they know they need to turn n run the other way, as a parent we have to be in all departments and I don’t believe in let ur children find their own selves nonsense…
My kids gets my love, care, attention, talks,they also get shouted at at times but theres one thing they don’t get and that is being spoilt to death, we provide what we can and that’s it, and if u can’t take care of it or appreciate what we give u then I chuck it over my gate o to the main road , no one’s allowed to being it back, also make sure my kids now the life we went through growing up and so should all kids no matter what age, they should be taught simpathy , Love, care, and to be grateful then they can see the sacrifices parents make. My kids can’t even waste their school lunches, they will finish it as supper or eat nothing at all. It’s not a bad thing to teach a child compassion as much as it’s a parent’s duty to do so or else what type of child are u growing up. She needs to be taught who is the parent and who is the child. I don’t hit my kids but I have a shambok whose name is inspiration. It always inspires my children to behave when they forget their manners but no let me be clear that I don’t use it on them as a form as punishment as it’s just to scare them and then I explained what’s expected of them as an equal member of the family, we do our chores and no we don’t get paid for cleaning up after ourselves as that’s nonsense as well. We do it to stay clean human beings, we help each other and we talk to each other with respect
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My daughter is 7. The lesson I learned was to stop being a bitch to my kid and listen to her feelings. Get on her level. Can’t expect adult behavior from a child.
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I raised my voice to my momma one time in my life… I was like 10… she slapped the sh** out of me. I thought my head would spin around. She immediately looked me in the eye… she had this look… I had never seen her have this look before… and I never saw it again after this. She said, “ Don’t you EVER speak to me like that. AGAIN.” It put the fear of God in me. I never talked back, or raised my voice to her again. And there have been a few times where I have had to pop my 9yo on the mouth. Granted I’ve never done it to the magnitude that my mom did, but if she starts back talkin, she gets ‘the look’ and then if she continues, I’m real quick to pop that lip. But I’ve taught my kid from like 1yo and up that I am the adult and she will not disrespect me or misbehave. I’ve always told my daughter my expectations beforehand and if she steps out of line, she is disciplined. There are no 2nd or 3rd chances. She got her warnings beforehand. And it’s worked out really well for us. My kid is extremely well behaved. Always has been. But I started teaching her what was acceptable and what was not from the beginning. I hope you’re able to find something that works for your kid. Bc an unruly kid becomes an unruly teen. And unruly teens are a lot harder to control and if they do something super crazy, then you’re the responsible one… and it all starts out with the small stuff.
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You’re the adult, you should be modeling good behavior. She probably learned the screaming from you and now youre blaming her for reacting
to your behavior (you call it the screaming approach). When she was making progress what changed? It sounds like she’s hurting. What’s going on in her life that makes her lash out? Maybe a child psychologist can help you figure out what her triggers are and some developmentally appropriate consequences for her behavior. If she’s being destructive then it’s probably time for professional help, not taking the tv away. Also, I’d like to add that I hope you’re ready to admit the part you are playing in the problem and willing to change YOUR negative behaviors (ie screaming at her). She shouldn’t be the only one to change.
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A couple years ago I nannied for a family with 3 kids…the Dad removed himself from any childcare, except to be abusive when he did get involved–the Mom was overly tolerant and made excuses and thought her kids exhibited behaviors that other kids also do. They had previous nannies who said to the kids they were the WORST kids they had ever met. I don’t give up easily (even a month in when the two youngest boys beat me up). The girl’s biggest problem was cheating on homework and lying repeatedly about schoolwork/grades. One of the most effective tools I found for them was {a} writing the rules and posting them {b} let them know consequences for each infraction {c} follow thru, every time! One thing they hated most (and was effective) was writing sentences…1st offense of the week = 10 sentences, 2nd = 20 sentences, 3rd = 30 sentences (and lose all privileges until sentences are completed). The sentences they had to copy were specifically about correcting the inappropriate behavior. In the beginning, if they don’t comply, you take every single thing away from them except homework–and can have a specific area they must stay until completed. When they said I was being mean, I informed them I wasn’t doing anything to them–THEY had made the poor choices they wanted to which meant they wanted to write the sentences too. It DID work (even when Mom told them they didn’t have to do it over the weekend–but I stayed consistent). Eventually, we loved each other…the parents moved out of state (without notice to me, so they wouldn’t lose me 🤦)…but the youngest boy apologized for the day they beat me up and said he knows now that I wasn’t taking away privileges to be mean–and the older boy, whom I had the hardest time getting through, asked his Grandma to buy him a lottery ticket, and he was going to give me half the winnings so I could move my entire family to Maryland to stay with them. Informing kids of expectations and consequences–followed by consistency–is the whole secret.
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My daughter has ODD the approach I have with her is different as she always wants to be in control the dr told me to give her 2 choices that I’m ok with and have her choose makes her feel in control of herself and the situation the school has been onboard with theirs aswell example the teacher told her we are not playing toys in class we are working on math if you choose to play with your toys then you can take them in the hallway. My daughter didnt want to sit in the hallway by herself so she made the choice to put them away also to avoid reasoning with her in a meltdown she doesnt see my side until she is calm down then we can talk about the situation I have put my self on time out plenty of times so we “both” calm down and the talk. She will spend so much time planning on how to get out of doing the things just cause I asked so I give her options and ask which she would rather do
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I have 6 kids…and raised or had a big part of raising several more… Everyone who’s telling you to strip their rooms and remove all privileges is 100% right, a good old fashioned spanking won’t hurt either. Not abuse, bare hand on the bottom… If there isn’t anything else going on or toxic family situations that need to be addressed, sometimes you get a kiddo that needs to know you mean business. It’s also important to do this calmly and consistently. It really does work.
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She needs a firm hand
a spanking, a good one!
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Monica Canesa Megan Thomson who dis remind you of:woman_facepalming:t3:
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Take her to a yoga class. Refer to Vedic health knowledge rub under both feet every day.
I got daffy ducked for that kind of BS my bill still kinda loose.
It’s time to talk to a professional. Something may be going on with her that is contributing to the behavior. It’s not normal for a child to be so combative. If you want help… It’s there. Don’t forget… This is your child. She is not a monster. But she may be hurting over something that seems minor to you… But to her… Given her behavior, something is not right. I’m praying for you and your family. And please… Don’t blame yourself. You have not failed… You just need a new perspective…
She may need to see a pshyciatrist. Sounds like odd or adhd she sounds very similar to my stepdaughter I have raised her since 7 months though and bio mom did a number on her. It’s hard momma, Don’t be hard on yourself ever, keep loving her. There is so much help out there, tss and behavioral therapist help alot.
I would look into Oppositional Defiant Disorder, take her a pediatric physiologist for an eval
Is she an only child?
Try to find meat products without hormones it will help in slowing things down. 7 and 8 years old is so young
Take every thing from her leave nothing but the bed in her room and just explain to her ppl who are ungrateful dont get a damn thing! Give her 5 outfits when those are dirty make her wash them (of course give her guidance on how to do it) make her help cook dinner clean the house take care of animals if yall have them! This is all to show her what she has and that she should be grateful for what she has!
Better then what I got when I was little if I acted like that I got my mouth busted everything taken from me and was given bread and water as a meal!
I know one think, my mom get it out of me one way or other.
It looks like many caring people are already giving you advice based on what worked for them or someone they knew. Sadly, having no kids of my own, I have no advice of my own. Only my heartfelt hope that you choose the correct path. For her sake and your own.