I recently got engaged, but yesterday I found him snapchatting a girl telling her she didn’t need to cut her hair that he liked it long. Had I not snooped on his phone, I’d never found out. I don’t think this is right, and getting married is maybe not what needs to happen, am i right?
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No clearly he had other feelings for this female I would be so upset
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If you felt the need to snoop on his phone, you probably shouldn’t be engaged. There was a lack of trust before you even found the snaps. 
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I would not stay engaged
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Getting married would be a mistake, this is a huge red flag and will be the reason you divorce him later.
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You literally posted this, this morning, the responses you got weren’t the ones you were looking for it seems?
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Does he know the girl? It may not be meant in a flirty way i have a friend that is a guy that gives me complements and he is married maybe she mentioned cutting it and he meant he thought it looked better long?
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Just talk to him about it and follow your heart
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The real question is, why were you snooping?
In all honesty, if you felt the need to snoop you had your answer before you even went there and that tells me one thing. Whatever advice you get today, isn’t going to matter and this is a waste of time. I’m truly not saying that as an insult, I just don’t talk around things.
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Don’t get married! Divorce is expensive.
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Clearly he is Totally NOT ready for the whole Marriage if he’s doing this kind of Sh!t, I am so sorry you had to find this, But on the other hand it’s better to find out Now rather then after the wedding. I hope you tell him you know he is Not Totally and Completely Honest with you as he Should be, and speak to him and ask Him If he even wants Marriage, if he says Yes he wants to Marry you then tell him it’s not going to work If He Can Not be 100% Honest and Faithful to you and Only you, and if you are going to stay with him please make damn sure that you Make Him EARN your Trust Back.
A Healthy Relationship has to Have :
HONESTY
RESPECT
COMMITMENT
SUPPORTIVE (for Each other)
TRUST
LOVE And Most Importantly
COMMUNICATION open and honest Communication is very important 
I really hope you think long and hard about your Situation & even more so I hope you Realize you are so Worth it and YOU deserve to be treated with Love, Honesty and Respect.
Prayers everything works out for you. 
I’ve had a bad experience with snapchat and my guy doesn’t have it on his phone anymore. Follow your heart.
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That is called a red flag!! Run like hell
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I hate the comments that try to make the poster feel bad. “Why were you snooping?”
Girl I don’t blame you one bit. So what you wanted to be for sure for sure before entering the contract of marriage. I’m also glad you did because you know he’s an asshat. Girl walk. If he will do it once, he WILL do it again. My ex husband, when we were dating was talking to women online like that. I found out about it. Forgave him. MARRIED HIM. Had kids. And he did it again. I found out 6 years later. Do yourself a favor AND LEAVE. It will hurt. It will suck, but it will be worth it in the end. LEAVE.
If he is already doing that before marriage, what’s going to stop him from doing it after marriage? A ring? Not! And if he will do that on snapchat he will do it on other SM sites if he can get away with it.
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Nope . Do not continue
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Why are you snooping? Is this a friend? Have they been friends for years? Are you getting pissy n fussing befor you know all the fact? Telling someone he knows that he liked her hair does that mean he wants to fu## her?
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If you are looking in his phone you don’t trust him. What if it was just a friend?
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If you’re questioning it, having to snoop and then ask people for advice, I feel you already know the answer. Why go into a relationship, let alone a marriage not trusting your partner?
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Where theres smoke there is fire. Red flag. Think of it as a blessing u found this now before u got married. Being engaged means fuck all. Just be happy there isn’t children involved and lawyers.
Nah he is cheating time for a new man 
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Don’t even think about marrying him. Once a cheater always a cheater. Take the word of one who knows.
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Nope dnt do it. He will cheat later
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Ur absolutely right! Dont do it. Get out while u can. For everyone saying not to snoop, she would have never known if she didnt. U dodged a bullet girl. And I’m speaking from experience.
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Jesus… since when is complimenting a woman cheating? Relationships nowadays don’t last cause you are all too sensitive.
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Womens intuition. You felt you had a reason to go through his phone or already didn’t trust him, either way, sounds unhealthy, not a good way to start a marriage.
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A true man doesn’t do social media, period.
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Yes I say your RIGHT 
If you don’t have the kind of relationship where you can ask questions of each other and talk things out honestly, then neither of you is ready for a relationship.
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The fact that you felt the need to snoop, the fact that you followed through and actually snooped, the fact that you found something when you snooped… all of these things are signs that y’all should not get married imo
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Leave. You deserve loyalty and honesty.
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When did giving compliments to another person become a red flag and not communicating worries become the normal? 
Talk it out. Ask questions. Let him know your worries.
But if y’all don’t have trust, why y’all engaged?
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Is it just a close friend? You just got engaged. Ask him nicely
Why did you snoop in the first place? That right there should answer your question.
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I’d definitely would be running from that you dodged a bullet I wouldn’t be getting married and a man don’t need snap chat to do it either if he was a real man and loved you he wouldn’t be doing something like that period he can get rid of snap chat but that doesn’t stop a cheater if they wanna cheat you found out now what kinda person he is now so the decision is on you rather you chose to marry him or not
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Talk to him, make him face the truth, clear the misunderstanding but understand that he might lie just to have you by his side… The rest depends on you because it would be your future, your kids’ future that might be affected
Do not marry that omg
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He is still a little boy, you need to wait and marry a man. Trust your gut, you already know the answers x
If you have to ask, you already know the answer.
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If you have to snoop and already have trust issues, that’s not good at all.
Your guts are always right…
It sounds like you already know the answer if you felt the need to look at his phone in the first place
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He doesn’t need to be snapchatting with other females! The females saying it’s your fault are the type that like to talk to men in relationships. Sorry, not sorry…
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Leave now. And never look back
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Honestly you can compliment other women and not be flirting or meaning it in a sexual/sensual way. So maybe you guys should just communicate more. To throw away a relationship over one compliment is silly. Unless he’s a cheater or has been flirty with other women before I would just ask about it.
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Lol all these women saying leave. He hasn’t done anything wrong.
And I doubt any of you would be able to get any better if you leave just because they said something non-flirty over a Snapchat 
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Have a discussion with him, he may be testing you too though but I’d say something.
Ummmm yeah. You are right.
What you allow is what will continue. Know your worth and do not settle.
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I wish I had an eye rolling emoji for these comments saying he hasn’t done anything wrong. First off, why did she feel comfortable enough to talk to him about cutting her hair and asking his advice about it? Second, he is engaged, why is worried about what another female looks like to the point that he is Snapchatting her telling her to leave her hair the way it is?! If he is secretly talking to a girl, it’s cheating. Emotionally connecting with another person is cheating! He kept it from you for a reason.
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I ask my male friends what they think works better for me. I find them to be more honest and to the point sometimes. Could be something innocent and he didnt think anything of it hence why he may not have mentioned it. Seems like you have a wee bit of insecurity, jealousy or trust issues. Maybe best to up your communication with him before you get married that way you can put your mind at ease and make more honest and informed thoughts and decisions together. Best of luck to you xxx
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Something had to be telling you it isn’t right for you to check his phone in the first place.
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I don’t know about the details of your relationship but my husband and I give compliments to others men and women or advice neither of us are cheating on the other we each are free to look through whatever on the other’s phone or whatever but honestly if you feel you always need to do that then it sounds like you have either a trust and communication problem or there’s something more going on and maybe it’s time for you to do something to either fix the relationship or go your separate ways. However if you have never had problems in the past I wouldn’t just toss it all over a simple compliment or suggestion. I would talk about it first and then go from there.
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You can do better. He’ll never change. Only will get worse
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If you are snooping on his phone you shouldn’t be getting married to him whether he’s guilty of anything or not.
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Dude. Come on. Red flag
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Throw the whole man out
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I certainly wouldn’t be staying with him.
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Girl, go ahead and just go. He won’t stop talking to other girls. They never do. They just get better at hiding it once they get caught. First and only time I caught my ex I packed my things and left and never looked back. Found my now husband and have been married 2 years and have NEVER seen him talk to another female.
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Ask him if he knows “a girl named…”. See if he is honest or not. If he says yes, confront him about the snaps. If not, kick him to the curb
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shouldnt even need to ask
If you need to snoop in your partners phone, there is already a trust issue. You don’t need to be thinking marriage at this point.
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Back away now while you still can. If you do get married, divorce is so much uglier, longer and more expensive than just breaking up. Any man who actually respects you wouldn’t be talking to another female that way, period. Especially if you’re engaged.
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You’re absofuckinlutely right!!!
Engagement!!! What engagement…
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Red flag!! You’re lucky you found out before you got married.
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Honestly, best thing to do with him is discuss it. Give him the chance to fix it. If he doesn’t LEAVE.
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Yup!! First off, the fact that snooped means you didn’t trust him to begin with, clearly your gut told you something was off. As sucky as it is, be thankful you found out now then after a wedding!! You deserve better girl!!
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Yes dodge the bullet now. If he can’t respect you while you’re engaged he won’t when ur married.
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I’m completely against any sort of flirting and talk like this when it comes to being in a relationship. If a guy wants to get engaged he better ONLY want his future wife.
I’d for sure be messaging that chick
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First question is Why were you snooping???
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You shouldn’t be getting engaged if you’re gonna be insecure
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If you felt the need to go thru his phone there is already a lack of trust. Trust is the forefront of any successful relationship
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Consider this your sign! Get out while you can.
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Happened to me, I left, if he cared about us, none of this would be happening! It will happen again! Not worth the hurt.
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Questionable behavior
I’d give that ring back and say nope. 
Is she an actual friend in real life? If she is, I don’t see the issue. People should be aware that people had friends way before meeting you.
But if you’ve never heard of this friend, ask him about it. If you feel he’s not being honest, then you have a decision to make.
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This may just be me, but my husband compliments other women all the time, and I don’t think that’s wrong. He likes to make people happy. He does it with men as well so maybe that’s why, me to me it’s just that; a compliment about her hair.
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Leave or will will be married and fighting this! Leave now
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Talk to HIM. communication is important
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One… you’re right you shouldn’t have been snooping because since you were looking for trouble, you most certainly found it.
Two… you’re wrong. Now you need to tell him what you did and y’all need to talk about it. Men like what they like, and you can’t fault him for that, but if he complimented her hair and nothing else that doesn’t mean you get to crucify him. He asked YOU to marry him, not her.
A bigger issue was revealed here: you don’t trust him. Figure out why.
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The fact you snooped in the first place tells you everything you need to know.
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Id leave if he’s being secretive like that God knows what else he’s hiding
I always say when in doubt throw it out. But that’s just me
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What made you snoop? If you had suspicions prior, I’d say end it.
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Go with your gut. If it doesn’t feel right, it probably isn’t.
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I wouldn’t even play the games, you don’t have to deal with divorce fees etc rn so if I were you’d I would just head out. Guys just get sneakier over time. They aren’t kids they know right from wrong.
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You both suck. You for snooping and invading his privacy and him for doing something that clearly crosses one of your boundaries. Neither of you are ready for marriage.
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It will never get better, trust me. Snapchat is the worst for cheating. This is how I found out about my ex and there was actual physical cheating that started from just Snapchatting after I found out. We weren’t engaged though.
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Was there more? Ive told guys not to cut their hair that it looks good long🤷
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Clearly no trust there already if ur snooping hun … I think u already know what to do
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This is a sign. Don’t marry him.
Leave him. Learn to trust and be with someone trustworthy.
You need to pick up his phone in front of him an look at what’s in it if he acts crazy than you have your answers. If he cool with you looking and asking question than get married.
I can pick my husbands phone up and look at anything in it and he want even ask why I’m looking. He can do the same with my phone. You need that kind of trust in a marriage if you don’t have it your going to need a lot of prayers to make it a forever event.
I do not have Snapchat.
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I think you’re right for hitting the brakes. It may be nothing (unlikely but possible) but either way, marriage is not a step to take when there are things like this going on. I hope you get some peace lady. Head up 
I mean was it one time he complimented a girls hair? I don’t necessarily find that a red flag or a sign he’s cheating just from that 
Why not sit down and ask him about it? Who is she, is she a long time friend? Etc if it’s something your not comfortable with let them no and say it’s out of bounds for him to talk to woman who arent his friends already, which would be the same for you with men.
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Yikes. Did you confront him yet?
Maybe it’s not what it seems. Have him address it & talk to him. Communication is key.
If he just gets mad that you went through his phone, then, guilty & move on. That’s just deflection. You should both feel free to go through each other’s shit if you’re gonna get married.
No hiding=no secrets
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My best advice is go to marriage counseling before you get married! Not only do you learn boundaries but you also learn coping mechanisms. It helps you learn how to have adult conversations instead of fights🙂
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My biggest question to you for snooping in his phone is… what is your gut telling you? What did your gut say when you were snooping through his phone - why did you snoop in the first place?
I would approach him about it first. Then thinking about his response… I’d run like hell if he gets crappy, defensive, etc. in anyway 
Idk. Snapchat is weird. I think it’s something no one should have? It lets children and teens send nudes, it lets cheating happen. I just don’t like it personally. I think it’s an app for secrets.
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You answered your own question.
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I never snoop. If something is happening, which is important enough to cause me the insecurity level it would take to snoop, I know then that something bigger is wrong with our relationship. I wish I’d realized that a long, long time ago! Lol. On the other hand, if you are just a very insecure person, who has to snoop in order to be okay, but not for a real reason, it’s totally wrong to claim to love your partner in a way that marriage requires. You say you found out after snooping, but not why you felt compelled to snoop. So I have no idea which situation describes yours. You sound pretty reasonable, though. Was the snapchat conversation with a friend whom you know? My daughter is in a very committed relationship, which I’m sure will become marriage. She’s 22 and uses snap chat. Her 2 best guy friends, give her opinions all the time. It’s nothing. If this is a girl who’s not a regular friend, or friend you know, I’d certainly be curious.
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