My daughter is 2, almost 3. She drinks milk in a bottle 90 percent of the time refuses cups. When I mean, she will cry for HOURS, I mean hours. I get her to eat here and there but not enough. Bedtime is another ballpark, she has a toddler bed now, and she will take hours to go to bed. I caved and gave her the tablet and bottle with milk at bedtime, and she has just not been sleeping through the night. I don’t have a clue what to do anymore. I’m exhausted. Her toys are all in her room, so I wanted to take all those out at least start there but other than that, I don’t know how to make her relax. Any help would be amazing. Let me know if anyone else had a persistent toddler that will scream and throw fits for hours if not given what they want. I’m starting to feel like I’m not good enough of a mom.
Stay consistent to a bedtime routine. It helps a lot if they know what to expect! This is ours.
7:00 Clean up Toys & dim lights in house
7:30-8:00 Bedtime TV & small snack
8:00 brush teeth & potty
8:15- 8:30 read books in bed with dim lighting and calm voices
8:30 Lights Out and bedtime
It’s time for you to take back control of that situation. She is a child and you are an adult. Let her pitch a fit for hours. Walk away. Then Offer her a cup of milk. A bottle at 3 is ridiculous.
Try using lavender body lotion before bed, when getting ready to tuck the little one in for the night, make a ritual of reading a book and give them 1 of your shirts to sleep with. Maybe having your smell on clothing close by with comfort them enough to sleep better.
First of all, YOU’RE GOOD ENOUGH! 
my daughter went through this a couple times. Once when she was about your daughters age and one about a year ago. Literally just stain by consistent by putting her in her bed and back her bed when she got up did it. I had to cuddle her to sleep A LOT but consistency was key. I tried putting a tv in her room and she wouldn’t go to sleep until like 10p. So I took that away. Maybe also ask and see if she’s having nightmares.
And, try to wean her off the bottle so you don’t mess up her teeth. Have to be consistent and let her know no more.
Benadryl, not kidding
She will break from it if the milk isn’t bothering you she will give it up eventually try offering it in the training sippy cups, or soft tipped sippy cup, it might take a few nights but we had to wind down in the living room shut lights off turn tv off then put kiddos to bed so they weren’t still worked up, it might take time have patients and putting her back to bed 12 times happens but it won’t last forever
Go for a walk. Fresh air and exercise. Even if it’s around the block after dinner itll wear her out then a nice warm lavender bubbly bath to calm down . Maybe lay with her read a book
My daughter is two and was like this. I put the crib sides up on her bed, gave her her milk and walked out the room. She cried for hours as well snd I almost caved and got her but I held strong snd let her cry it out. After a week of doing that and knowing I wasn’t going to cave, now she goes to bed no problem. I take her in, lay her down and walk out. That first week is sooo rough but having a child sleep through the night is so worth it!
You may have to sleep train. I hope you are able to find a solution soon! Good luck!
We have a locking chest for the toys so they can’t get them out at night. Also a musical bear or noise machine. Try melatonin an hour before bed every night for the first 2 weeks to try to set that routine. Make sure blue light filters are ON all devices. My 2 yr old daughter is a pain and VERY whiney. She just turned 2 though. We have a 3 yr old as well. Both get a cup of milk at bed they both drink out of little kid plastic cups no lids just a plastic cup. Bottles and tippy cups with nipple spouts are terrible for kids. They not only can do bad things to their teeth but also effect speech so try to nip that in the butt.
Take that bottle away and let her cry. For starters she knows qt this age what she’s doing. Qnd you give her a bath and a bed fime story and bed time every night same routine. Make it a routine.
Throw out the bottles, cups only. Put her in her room with nothing, it’s ok to let her scream she will eventually realize your not going to go get her. It will take several day. Momma you can do this!
Talk to her dr about melatonin. Most people wont agree but it what helps my kids. And if she naps during the day dont let her sleep to long my 2 year old fights naps most days but in bed alseep by 745 800 most nights.
Have you tried doing calm down time and then give them melatonin gummies. It’s all natural and will not hurt the child.
I’m on week two of teaching my daughter to fall asleep on her own 
we’ve always sat with her until she fell asleep but that would take hours! So last week I started putting her in her bed and reassuring her that I would check on her in two minutes. There was a lot of putting her back in bed and back in her room, but I checked on her often, told her I had to go do something and I would be back in two minutes. Finally tonight, she didn’t come out of her room, I checked on her twice and she’s put herself to sleep 
Let her cry it out. DO NOT CAVE!! Once she sees you aren’t going to cave and mean business she will give up. It will be so hard letting her cry but it will work.
We started my son on melatonin, it was the onlyway we could get him to sleep without hours of full on meltdowns.
No electronics at night at all. Put a limit of 1 or 2 hours only during the day on them. Nothing wrong with them, but kids have no concept of when too long is just too long.
First thing ditch the bottles, they are ruining her teeth. Also ditch the electronics at bed time unless it is a white noise machine that plays either soft classical music or sounds of nature something rhythmic that will play all night long. Get a routine going, specific times for diner, bath, and bed, and don’t let her play with the iPad, after dinner that stimulates the mind and makes sleep harder. Chamomile tea is something my daughter’s doctor recommended for sleep it worked wonders.
They almost all scream and throw tantrums BUT you are the parent
Cut out bottles ASAP
Who cares if she cries and screams a bit, she will get over it
Tablets and other electronics are detrimental to ADULT sleep patterns so the tablet needs to go asap
Let her cry. It isn’t harming her and she isn’t in danger. I did this and my daughter figured out really fast that she would get ZERO attention by acting that way.
Same here I have two toddlers and a newborn it’s hard but, were still doing a good job don’t be too hard on yourself. 🥲
We use the kids melatonin body wash and lotion and it works.
Sounds harsh but let her cry 
and just blatantly ignore her. Part of her fits is she gets satisfaction and attention from you talking to her and bargaining with her. Give her lots of good attention and praise her alot (like borderline throwing a party)whenever she does do what you’re wanting. Its super hard and I wish you all the luck.
Throw the bottle away. Let her see you toss them. When she is thirsty enough she will drink. She is just playing you to get what she wants. She know you will give in. It may take 3 days to may take a month.
Melatonin gummies and with my oldest i sat next to his bed til he went to bed. Sometimes it was 15 min sometimes an hour we did this for 6 months til he would go to bed by himself
My youngest and i co sleep ill lay him down at his bed time abt 20 min later hes out then i get up
I use melatonin on my daughter for bedtime some nights
Tell her you lost her bottles, it sounds silly, but shes old enough to understand losing things. And telling my daughter we lost stuff has always worked. She took a bedtime bottle until 18 months and then I told her we lost them, and it improved her sleep routine tremendously. Start a bedtime routine at the same time every night, do the same exact things, in the same order, start and stop at the same times. And let her cry, every night it will get shorter and better, and by week one or 2 it will be over and she’ll just go to sleep. And it will improve her sleep and your sleep. You got this.
My 7 year old son has been on and off melatonin for a couple of years. He has a very hard time turning off his brain. Melatonin helps a ton! We use Zarbees. Maybe try giving her half of one an hour before bed to help starting your routine. Instead of leaving the room, try sitting next to her bed for a few nights and slowly work your way out of her room throughout the week or so. I’m getting ready to start this with my two year old. Right now I lay with him but I’m going to start working my way out slowly.
READ 
My toddler is 22 months will be 2 in February… Sleeps thru the night 95% of the time… here’s why
:
Your answer is ROUTINE.
I did this with all of my kids, my two other kids are 17 and 8. Keep a strict time schedule.
7-7:30p… every night start your routine… feed at 6, let her play, bath at 7, pjs and a sip of water, let her cut lights off (we have a night light) No electrics!!! They’re very bad for toddlers development 
…get her a sound machine (my baby listens to water sounds) or soft instrumentals…if she cries or gets up… EVERY TIME you go right in there put her right back in the bed and with a serious voice…say no ma’am you will lay down, it’s nite nite time… do not give her anything. A teddy (or something soft she likes) and blanket (maybe paci)…
Definitely no bottles she’s to old. She needs big girl cups ( not in bed)
Keep in mind that if you develop a routine like this… when she falls asleep guess what? FREE MOMMY TIME 
You got this… you can fix this in 3 days or deal with it until she’s 10… your choice 
If you have to do this 100 times in one night that’s what you do!!! Let her cry/scream for 5 mins and then go right back calmly and serious. NO ma’am it’s time to sleep… night night…
I bet you everything, in 3 days you will see a huge difference. TRUST ME
Both my kids used melatonin at that age. It worked wonders and they got a goodnight sleep.
Ok ok I know so many will not agree with me but honestly I don’t care. We let them fall asleep with a move, yes, we allow them a tv, honestly mommy needs sanity… but we transitioned from milk to water by watering down the milk each time till we were completely to water. Hope that helps! As always do what works for you your the parent and everyone’s else’s opinions don’t matter. You can do this!
Melatonin gummies! Saved my life as a mom
Have you tried a noise machine ?
All I can say is, if you don’t get control now it will be 100 times worse when she is a teen. You have to show her that you are in control, not her. She is starting to understand that she can control you by having tantrums.
I’ve always established and kept a bedtime routine. We do a light snack, a bath and a favorite book. It’s always worked great with my kids. I hope it helps.
Get rid of the bottles period. Throw them all away. Try a soft tipped sippy like a nuk. Get a routine
Clean up 7:30
Snack w/her cup of milk 8:00
Brush teeth/ bath time 8:30
Story time with soft lighting in bed 9
Lights out 9:15 w/sound machine &/or soft night light.
Let her cry & don’t give her a cup unless it’s water.
Using a bottle still can cause teeth problems especially sleeping with one. I told my daughter she was a big girl now and big girls don’t use babas and we have to throw them away. Had her watch me toss them ALL - so i couldnt give in- and we said byebye babas and took them out to garbage. Later she wanted one and i reminded we threw them away. She was pissed a minute not gonna lie, but it was easier to say sorry kid i dont have one and let her be pissed and cry it out. She was my fourth kid and the easiest to break- id never tried this prior. Also, try a bedtime routine everynight its gonna be them same, take a warm bath with lavender, her pjs and teeth brushed, maybe read her a story to snuggle, and then tuck her in say its bedtime love u goodnight. And then be done. Unless it sounds like she is hurt or something let her cry. Let her know bedtime is bed time and u arent giving in. You could also try playing sleep music for her at night, a nightlight/complete dark, melatonin if needed but i would use as last resort. And u can always inform your doctor, maybe there is a under lying issue. Good luck dear! Im glad i made it through those days alive. Its not easy!
I put a Tatami floor mattress on the floor in my daughters room and lay in there with her until she falls asleep
Go for a bed time drive in the car, our two year old wouldn’t fall asleep either and we started night time drives, she falls asleep and stays asleep all night.
My daughter had trouble giving up bottles as I had Irish twins. At two years old (13 months for my son) I threw every bottle in the house out and cold turkey switched them to sippy cups. I also stopped offering milk at bed - but I give sippy cups with water.
We also have trouble some nights (almost 3 now). Recently tried garden of life sleep gummies and they helped my daughter a lot.
The tablet will stimulate the brain, keep her awake, I would try sounds, soothing rain, streams running, soft classical music. I layed down with my child and read in his bed also.
You are a great mom just for the fact that you are asking for help which shows you care. Moms learn as they go. We aren’t born knowing innately knowing every aspect of how to be a mom and raise a child. The only thing I can think of for “advice” is to not cave. She learns that by crying, you will give in. She’s old enough that crying like that will not damage her (like it would an infant). She knows how to get what she wants. So don’t give in. If it were me, I would take her to the store and have her pick out a cup she likes. Buy a couple. Even if it’s the spill proof cup (like the munchkin miracle trainer cup). Go back home and have her watch you throw away the bottles. Then have her watch you take the trash out. Explain to her what’s happening as you go along. Do not give her the iPad to calm her down. Hold her if she wants to be held. Be there for her crying but don’t give in to the bottles or iPad.
I also suggest a noise machine or night light. But whatever you do, you are a good mom and you are just trying to raise your child to the best of your ability. Every mom feels like they are going insane at one point. You can push through and get her off the bottle.
I’ve always tried to keep a routine, but as a single working mom it was hard for me. I found that doing a sort of countdown to things helps my daughter (starting at 30 minutes, then a reminder at 15, 10, 5, and 2 minutes). it has helped with getting her ready in the morning, leaving fun places like the zoo or park easier, and getting to bed easier. some parents may disagree on this, but I also choose to lay down with my daughter until she falls asleep. since I’m the only parent in her life, and have been since day one, she finds comfort in my presence, as many other children do with their parents. and even if it takes a long time to fall asleep, keeping calm is the best to help keep things smooth and help kids relax, leading to falling asleep faster and for longer periods of time. trust me, I know motherhood is tough, but you will find a way that works best for you and your child. it’s just going to take some trial and error first
Routine is REALLY important!!! But start with one thing at a time. I had a therapist tell me never focus on the big picture with little kids, they can’t process all of the changes and you won’t ever make progress. Instead pick one thing that helps you establish a routine, like taking a bath before bed. But let her keep the other comfort habits. Do this for a month, if you already do this just before bed go to the next one. Work on getting her into her bed at bedtime, keeping the other comfort stuff for a month. And so forth… stop trying to climb Everest love, that to much all at once.
Be kinder to yourself, you are doing just fine. Your skills have nothing to do with a stubborn child.
Luck!!!
Old school: pop that butt
Stop giving in. I know it’s hard momma- my oldest had a bottle until that age and cried for it for abt a month! Replace the bottle with a bedtime buddy. You have to make the bedbuddy special; let her pock it out, or if she already has a favorite toy use that. Talk it up, say how special it is, it’s only hers. You could tell a simple story abt it w her favorite show or something.
For the big girl bed- persistence and routine. A preschool teacher gave me the idea to use the clock and the environment… So say something like oh look the clock says it’s 730, time for pjs brushing teeth washing up etc.
She won’t listen to it in a couple of days- it’s going to take a long time but still very calmly just repeat it. This worked for my first 2.
However my son that’s 1 right now we are going through it with the big bed 
He climbed out of his frickn crib so I don’t trust that anymore!! Something I’ve started to do is lay in his bed read to him in it we play with stuffies and just get comfy in it. He has napped during the day in it but night time ain’t working he keeps getting up. It’s just not safe so we are alternating with the playpen. We try to give him the choice- but at 1 he really doesn’t understand the ballgame yet.
Maybe if you have a playpen put her in that if she won’t stay in her bed? the next night say hey do you want to try out your big girl bed instead of the playpen? Then in a way she’s getting a choice then you get piece of mind she’s staying safe asleep. Im sure the process will take awhile- esp if child’s stubborn! But eventually with the same persistence it will stick.
Sorry…not sorry. 
What I’m about to say is probably going to get a lot of back lash but it has to be said. 
You don’t negotiate for respect…beg for it or ask for it from children. You lay down the law. Whoop. Her. Ass. 
When you command respect and exercise your authority as the PARENT you’re going to establish a relationship later on that will make you glad you wore her out. If you say bedtime and she doesn’t go, she throws a fit you tell her ONE time to stop it. Don’t scream, say it FIRMLY. If she’s still on her bullsh*t then whoop her. She’ll get the point. I have raised 4 children and I quickly picked up the fact that these kids know EXACTLY what we’ll let them get away with. My 6 year old has only ever gotten 3 whoopings from his Dad. THREE. His father established EARLY on that what he said was the LAW and if he wanted to show out, Daddy would show out, too. 
I get a little less respect from him (my 6 year old) because I tend to let him get away with more.
My 16 year old daughter? She has a friend that regularly tells her mother to shut up, has NO respect for her parents at ALL and it’s because the parents NEGOTIATE with the child and they’ve done it since she was a baby. My daughter told her friend ‘If I EVER spoke to my mom like that I’d be picking my eye balls up off the floor’ and I’m glad she knows it so she doesn’t try me. You’re not a bad mom, but if you don’t get her in line NOW you’ll regret it. I promise. 
Noooo. We gave my baby brother ( 16 years older) his sippy cup with milk during bedtime and by the time he was 4 or 5 his teeth were black. Stay strong you got this.
BE CONSISTENT!! Make a bed time routine, it toook a few months but my girl finally gooes down right when its bedtime. We look at the moon, put jammies, brush hair/teeth read a book for 5 min. I constantly tell her whats next, for example, “now we are going to look at the moon, then brush our teeth then go to bed ok?” It took several months, she would get out of bed and walk around the room, screamed and cried but eventually she got it down! And i know how much easier it is to give the tablet, i do it too lol but try not for bedtime!! But whatever you choose, even if it seems like its not working and first, you have to keep trying it. Good luck!!!
I have twins who are 3. They are absolutleu horrible to out to bed. But only for me. For dad they go to bed just fine. Same routine same schedule same everything to a T. I fight with them for hours every night dads not home to go to bed. Im in the same boat as you momma.
Sounds like my daughter with her mom …she has no problem with me and honestly it hurts
The main thing is consistency 
i wouldn’t say it matters what the routine is as long as its the same so the same time to bed with her bottle and then you need to mentally prepare yourself to keep putting her back into bed when gets out and dont give up 
or she will know that screaming and shouting works to get out of bed! My advice ignore the screaming and tantrums and just sit quietly next to her and dont engage and eventually she won’t get any attention and will tire herself out. The first couple of nights will be the hardest but after that she will start to get the idea that your not going to back down! Good luck hunni bedtime routines are so difficult. Good luck 
xx
We use an app call moshi and it’s honestly made such a difference in my sons sleeping he’s 1 but his cousin is 2 and used to fight bed time and his mum uses it too has helped a lot . Never feel like your a bad mum your not your doing amazing keep trying to be positive and reaching out for help makes you a super hero mum xx
Agreed, stick to a schedule and eliminate stimulation. I’d cut out the tv and get an audible book fir her to listen to instead then read with her.
No electronics or tv at all at least an hour before bed. Throw bottles and pacifiers out completely and cut down milk to 2 cups a day. Get her room as dark as possible for night time, (I got a blackout blind for my sons) you’ll likely have to sleep train for the first week which is something I did and paid for with a professional to help me. First two nights, you sit on a chair by their bed until they fall asleep. You arent there to talk to them or anything, you have the chair facing the opposite direction and you only move off that chair to lie your child back down then you sit back on chair. You only lie them down at maximum 3 times then you stop moving as itll become a game for the child. So first two nights, sit until they fall asleep. If they wake at all after you’ve left the room, you wait 5 mins before going in and sit again till they fall asleep then leave. 2nd wake up you wait 10 mins, then 15 mins etc. You add on 5 mins each time. 3rd and 4th nights you do the same thing only move the chair further away towards the door into the middle of the bedroom. 5th and 6th night you move chair even further beside door even if you’re brave enough, just outside door. And 7th and final night you dont sit at all. You put child to bed and leave. You only go in after your time count so they know you’re there and everything is ok, you put them back in bed and leave. You shouldn’t be there for any more than 1 min at this stage. I paid for this plan and it worked for me. I had a child who was awake till me and my partner went to bed, and would be up still to 2am daily. He relied on pacifiers and bottles. Now he goes to bed at 8/30, and sleeps till 8/8.30 in the morning. No bottles, no pacifiers and if he wakes he can go back to sleep on his own. If for any reason your child is sick you forget the sleep plan until their better as they will need extra care and attention during this time. When their better you begin your sleep training again for the week with the chair. I really hope this helps as it made my life so much better. X
Honestly my daughter does this sometimes! End of world unless she gets toy paw videos but I have always read her books before bed so instead we do story time on YouTube work amazing for us!
After a bath and brushing teeth our toddler gets fed 1 weetabix warm so that her tummy is full and she doesn’t wake up hungry. She also gets a bottle of warm milk. Shes only turned 2 so still has dummies/pacifiers and teddies in her bed. She chooses a story or a song each night. Some nights she wants both so we do both. we play lullaby classical music through the nintendo switch and tv, the tv automatically turns off after 2 hours, and she has a Gro Clock which is helping us to teach her the difference between night time and morning time. We also have a battery powered LED candle in her room that works like a night light that she likes.
This is what works for us. She sleeps in a toddler bed with a rail. She has a baby gate in front of her bedroom door but doesn’t call out to us nearly as much as she used to before we got the clock 
hope this helps x
My little boy is the exact same with the milk not eating properly not sleeping properly. It’s hard
Melatonin and nice warm bath.
My son had a routine with my granddaughter, nightly snack @7 bath@ 7:15and then one movie when that movie was over bedtime, it took a week and she was asleep before the movie was over, when she would stay alnight with a grandparent she would follow they same routine
This may sound cheesey but I recently saw a supernanny episode about these exact issues. It’s on amazon prime if you have it. Do the free trial and watch the episode 5, no sleep for the weary. She had tips that helped with my 2 year old
Make a routine and about an hour before bed 5g melatonin. Snacks, bath, melatonin, tv and cuddle
If she doesn’t have allergies I would try aromatherapy to see if you can calm her and help her fall asleep. As for the bottle issue that is alot harder. It is a test of wills. She is winning.
I don’t have any great advice but you’re definitely not a bad mom. My 2 year old has so much energy she won’t go to slee for hours and it’s exhausting. I have about run out of ideas to not only get her to sleep but keep her in her bed myseld. I’ve tried adjusting the times we wake up in the morning and also try to limit long or late naps which has helped a little bit. Bath with essential oils, not eating too late at night also have helped. Also, as for the bottle ggo pick out a cute sippy cup with her and switch to it cold turkey. Trust me if she wants the milk she will drink from it.
Some children have a hard time letting go of the bottle. It’s actually not good for her to have it at that age because it will mess up her teeth. It will be really rough on you the first day or two but you need to go cold turkey. Try not giving her milk in the sippy cup and see if she’ll use it that way. She’ll give in eventually. She’s not eating because shes constantly drinking milk. And she’s not sleeping because she’s not full enough to keep her asleep. My first child had trouble going to sleep by herself for a while. So I started sitting by her bed until she went to sleep and then transitioned to leaving when she was almost asleep, and eventually I could leave before she was asleep.
Also, try to start a bedtime routine at the same time every night. Like, bath, snack, read a book, bed.
I found with my oldest that if he got over tired, he couldn’t fall asleep (which makes no sense to this Mama who can sleep anytime, anywhere, but whatever). What time do you try to put her down? It’s going to take time to establish a routine but they help so much. Also, we stop screen time of any sort an hour before bedtime.
One word… Melatonin.
Mom of 4 here and I don’t fight little kids. By the time she’s ready to fuss the melatonin and her would already be having a party and its lights out.
#pickyourbattleswisely
I second the bedtime routine. My girls are bathed and in bed by 8-8:30 every night. Melatonin is given as soon as their butts hit the bath water.
My best advice is to talk with your pediatrician.
My daughter struggled when she was that age, she is now 12. I know we moved in with the guy I had been seeing and he had older daughters, and it was her own room. It took about a month of me wanting to loose my mind and me getting her onto a routine. I also took her pacifier away the day she turned 2 and kept conveniently forgetting it at Grammy and papa. About a week in, she stopped screaming about the pacifier, by a month of me putting her In bed, reading books non stop, not giving into tv or anything else, she did amazing and my life got easier. Melatonin can help, but please ask the doctor first. My 12 year old it was suggested but only at 3mg, so I would definitely speak with the dr before giving melatonin. Also, melatonin can stop being as effective if used for a long time. As a person who has been told to use melatonin at different stages In my life, I have been told to not use it daily for more than a month and if it’s taken that long to try not to take it for as long as I can. Every doctor is different, but definitely check with the dr on dosage for melatonin. I wish you the best
Give her some sleepy time tea in her bottle
I use this with my daughter she’s 2 going on 3 after a bath and it helps her sleep. As well as the zarbees kinda, i had my daughter stay up all night one day she just didn’t want to sleep, i just kept telling her to go back to bed and just every time she got out of bed she went back in. As a last resort we used melatonin and it helped get her to bed and honestly only used it for about a week and she went back to bed with no problem. I would say maybe an hour or hour and a half before bed take her bath let her relax, and start winding her down, laying down to watch a movie or read some books but no playing anymore and just go from there. I would definitely try and invest in this is works really for mine as well as the night bath washes.
I had a child years ago that was “hyperactive”, it took time but worked. Get her up at the same time each morning before she wakes on her own. Breakfast at the same time, lunch at the same time, nap at the same time and wake her if necessary so she doesn’t sleep too long. Then TV time at the same time, dinner at the same time, bath at the same time, bed at the same time. You get the idea, it’s about having a set schedule for her. It’s hard work at first, but it will work. By the way, my hyperactive child is now 50 and I had 4 more after him. In the long run, having a schedule worked for all! Good luck. I also assume you’ve discussed this situation with her doctor, if not talk to him or her about it.
Two year olds are…a challenge to put it nicely. My middle kiddo is 2 as of September and she is very much the same. I went and bought 5 different cups to find a sippy cup she would take to get her off the bottle which was a huge pain in the ass. Once I found a cup she liked, we were okay. She has to have her tv on HER show or there is hell to pay and her cup has to be filled. They require routine that is consistent, which will be different for everyone. Mine is still in a crib so its a wee bit easier for us since she still fits. But I offer her something to eat before bed, she gets a low dose of a melatonin gummy, bath and her jammies. I let her have snack first, then melatonin while she plays in the tub. when she is out and in pajamas I fill her cup with milk and let her play that energy out while the melatonin does its job. When she is a little crabby we know she is ready and we grab a soft blanket for her, make sure her cup is full and put her to bed with her fav show aka octonauts which is all she will watch at bed time (her choice.) Then she is usually out and usually sleeps pretty well. She will wake in the middle of the night sometimes crying (always has,) if her TV goes off. We just put it back on and she goes back to sleep.
Do not give high mg of melatonin that young. Keep a routine. Sleep regressions are also very common in toddlers. The bottle thing though throw it away. Give her a cup. When shes thirsty she will cave and drink it. Constantly going back to the thing youre trying to take away just confuses them. Out of sight out of mind. Yes she’ll cry for a day or two but if you truly want her off a bottle then just toss them
So to get my daughter to stop taking the bottle I watered down her milk. I gradually did it. So 3/4 milk and 1/4 water for a couple nights, then 1/2 milk and 1/2 water, then 1/4 milk and 3/4 water. By the second night of the 1/4 & 3/4 she refused the bottle. Keep in mind I also gave her whole milk with her meals in a cup. So at that point she learned she gets milk with her meals and not at bedtime. And now that she is almost 2, I usually only give her milk in the morning at breakfast. Her pediatrician told me that thats ok because she should only have 8oz a day because she eats quite a bit of yogurt and cheese lol. As for bedtime, my daughter still has a bit of an issue with it. Even with a routine of bath, screen time/play time (while I tend to my 4 month old), cuddles and time in bed. It takes her an hour once she’s in bed to fall asleep.
My 4 yo is a natural night owl, we have a consistent week night routine , weekends in a little looser . I use melatonin to get him back on schedule but it’s literally dinner / bath/ wind down activity/ butts in bed by 8:30 with meditation music station on Pandora to fall asleep to.
Lay down with her in your bed, then after she falls asleep, put her in her own bed. Also my middle one, if she is over tired, she fights it and it takes longer for her to go to sleep.
My son was a terrible sleeper and fought sleep. You need a routine and need to stick with it. They will scream and cry a lot the first few nights. But it gets to be less. No tablet or bottle. Just do your routine, say goodnight and put her in her bed. Kiss goodnight and leave the room. If she gets up, tell her “it’s time for bed” and put her back in her bed. Kisses and leave. Next time, say nothing, just put her back in her bed and kisses and leave. Next time, don’t say anything, dojt make eye contact. Just put her in her bed and walk away. Everytime after, say nothing, no eye contact and no kisses. Eventually she will get it, stay in bed and go to sleep. Do this every night until she stays in bed and goes to sleep the first time. We did this with my son and he turned into a great sleeper! It’s REALLY tough at first and you might cry. I did. But it was so worth it in the end.
Try melatonin and routine
Use the baby body wash the lavender kind in the purple bottle and use the lavender lotion
I know it’ll be hard so do this when you don’t have anything important the next day and get yourself coffee or energy drinks, I did it for 3 days straight and I don’t have that problem anymore, I’ll post a pic of the cup I used that worked for me my son is 3 and my daughter is 1. No more bottles I got rid of them so I was forced to give him cups, if he doesn’t use the cup he doesn’t drink, I would say “oh ok well momma is thirsty yummy yummy” and take pretend sips from the cup eventually he picked it up himself without me having to do anything. For the bed make a routine and stick to it, eat, bath, a book and lights out. Put her in bed and walk away, put her back only when she gets out and be firm, it’s dark, it’s time for bed lay down and go to sleep night night but don’t give her attention or say anything when she cries and screams just pick up and straight to bed again. After 3 days I never had those problems. Was I tired yes did I cry OF COURSE 🥲 but now I just say bed time get your things and he goes to bed after a diaper change (still working on the potty training)
Calm environment and routines! I’ve heard bananas help. Throw away the bottles, she will eventually get through not having them if there are no opportunities for her to have it. My son would scream for hours if I just put him in his crib and I’d have to hold him to sleep, then I stopped that but would lay in my bed(we shared a room) while he was in his crib and he would go to sleep, now he is able to sleep on his own in his own bed NOT in my room anymore. He is only 21 months and has slept through the night since like 4/5 months old because of routine.
Just went through this same thing, 6 months of no sleep. I feel ya!!
I gave into the bottle, it’s her security blanket.
Easiest start is no naps, like none. Sucks but helps a lot.
Next, worked a little was put a bed for you to sleep in her room and one in your room for her. Teach her that if she wakes up, just climb into that bed and fall asleep. Her PCP taught me this one.
Next, do routine. The same damn thing every night with one difference, find her catch. For our daughter it was ready Mickey Mouse stories so we read about 3 short stories a night. For my friends daughter it was just talking about the day. Just need to unwind.
Now here is what worked 100%! Find a reward. If they stay in bed all night long they get ___. For our daughter it was a donut, yes I feed my kid donuts every morning. So sue me!
My kid had adverse reactions to melatonin and Benadryl that would do the opposite of sleep. She would be up half the night crying and coming to find me. Plus using those is only a temporary fix, think long term changes.
I seriously hope you find something that works for you!! this part sucks
Usually a warm bath helps before bed
Look into Feeding Littles. They would be super helpful with helping you find solutions for her eating and drinking issues. Once you have that handled I bet she would have an easier time sleeping.
Keep to a schedule. Lavender baths work wonders. Lavender is naturally calming. Either put a couple drops of Lavender oil in bath water. They also make baby bath products w/Lavender in them.
Three words…beat that ass.
I was in the same boat a few months back and still kinda am, I feel your pain. I took all the toys out of her room. Kept a snug reading corner with a couple of soft toys aswell as her bed. I ended up putting a funky night light in there, she relaxed more before bed, Still can take 5-30mins for her to fall asleep but she does it by herself now, nattering to herself… The milk on the other hand im still having trouble with. Iv tried the watering down and doesn’t work, she screams untill I give her the ‘proper stuff’… Mine doesn’t take naps during the day anymore unless up really early, so I try and tire her out with lots of activities in the day. She has one before bed and wakes atleast once in the night for some if not worn out… If she wakes at something like 5am though, I get her up with me… After a week or 2 of that she stopped waking at that time for one lol… It really is hard, I wish you all the luck, inbox is open if needed 
I just took the bottle from mine i didn’t cave in in told she would drink outta her cup or else kiddos know when they are thirsty she wouldn’t go without she would figure out when she realized you wouldn’t give in to her. And when it’s her bedtime don’t give in with the tablet or such get firm with her but not mean or telling and tell her it’s bedtime the biggest issue is you giving in to her she knows if she cries you will give her what she wants
Melantonin helps with that she will relax and go to sleep
Take the stuff away and don’t give in. She will eventually stop the fits.
Make her tired with games or playing around with her. Take away things and stand your ground. Sit there like it doesn’t bother you and she will eventually stop because she won’t be accommodated to anymore.
Try a soft nipple nuk cup in place of a bottle. Try laying with her in the dark in her room with a night light. Maybe a white noise machine and a weighted blanket?
a bottle of half chamomile tea/half milk always did it for our toddler when she went through a sleep fighting phase. she was never as severe as yours sounds but i imagine it’ll at least settle her.
I set a routine for my little one and it worked amazing dinner same time every time, bath after same time a little play time, then relax we would cuddle and watch a movie or I would read to him then bed time same time every night no exceptions… I would lay next to him and rub his back until he fell asleep… hes almost 4 now and is asleep in 20 minutes sleeps through the night and never puts up a fight
Try laying down beside her until she falls asleep. No toys, no tablet, no milk in a bottle. If she has to have a drink offer water from a cup. It will not be easy but she will get the idea.