I have a question, and I need advice my husband and I have been married almost a year it’s been ups and downs, but we always manage to work things out. I love my husband so much, but I think we got married too soon we only knew each other for three months before we married, I left my life in Maryland to relocate to Tennessee where he lived, he does everything for me, but there are a few things about him that I don’t like, the way he talks to his mom is atrocious, he sometimes talks to me in such a demeaning way that it makes me sick to my stomach when you don’t do things the way he wants he can be the meanest, nastiest person you ever want to meet on top of that he has gotten physical with me twice, he doesn’t feel like women should think for themselves and that men should do the thinking. A lot of times I am disgusted with his views on women Lately things have been going pretty good between us, but I am still on edge because he can go off at any minute, he tells me things like I need to forget about my kids because they are adults and to focus on him and me which will never happen because I will never forget about my children, he has no relationship with my kids at all and he doesn’t get along with a single person in my family on top of that he has mood swings one day he is good and then the next he is angry or upset, I don’t want to end my marriage, but I am getting to my breaking point. help
Hes probably bipolar
You don’t want to end your marriage with a man who abuses you?! Good lawd go seek professional help please.
He’s a piece of - dump him
Yes thats too soon…you cant possibly know someome in 3 months!
If he treats him mom that way , hes gonna treat you that way!!!
Get out the physical aspect will only get worse!!
Run while you can. He will eventually become more abusive.
Pretty self explanatory what ya need to do
He sounds like a real psychopath , never would I allow a man to tell me to forget my daughter , oh hell no ! My daughter is the BEST part of my life !!!
Time to hit the road and put that mistake in ur rear view mirror. He will NEVER change.
Hes a monster get going
He should be checked for bipolar disorder, he may have behavioral problems and not know it. You can always try marriage counseling to try to make it work.
You’ll have a good idea of how he’ll treat you, by the way he treats his mother.
counseling. It’s the healthiest way to get through this and answer your cry for help. Marriage is difficult and since you’ve only known each other for 3 months before you got married, marriage is a huge learning curve and you’re still getting to know each other.
Leave before it gets worst!!!
Hes only gonna get worse. You can not change him. He sounds like a narcissist.
I stopped reading at got physical with you twice, real talk. Run away girl!
Why wouldn’t you want to end your marriage. This man is NOT going to change. This is who he is. See you got married during the honeymoon of your relationship, now you’re seeing the real him. Run, run fast and don’t look back.
Sounds like you should run. Quickly.
I think you just named your own reasons for taking a step back. You know your answer. Don’t be afraid to follow through. The worst thing about being in a bad relationship for 3 months is being in a bad relationship for 3 months and 1 day.
Get out… red flags all over the place
Leave him now he is an abusive cunt and highly unlikely he will change unless he admits he has issues and seeks professional help. RUN now like the wind.
You sound like my MIL , you need to leave it will never get better.
Now take that and imagine being divorced from it. Try to see a therapist together. But most men don’t change. Good luck.
I’m sorry that you don’t want to end it and we can probably all relate to that. But he is an abusive man and it will only get WORSE, it will NEVER get better. YOU DESERVE BETTER PLEASE LEAVE HIM BEFORE HE HURTS YOU BAD OR WORSE KILLS YOU. He is already trying to isolate you so you have no one to turn to. RUN AND DON’T EVER LOOK BACK!!!
Girl run!!.. you sound scared and it’s obvious you get overpowered by this man step up for yourself and leave!! This isn’t the 80’s where men abused women and it was ok it’s never ok!! Stand up for women know your worth or kick his ass back tf hold your own!!
Never, ever put the effort into making a relationship work with with someone who has gotten physical with you, especially when it’s multiple times!
So many red flags here, you need to run fast and far.
When someone shows you who they are, believe them. It isn’t going to get better eventually. It will continue to get worse. Get out while you can.
How could you even love a man like that? He acts worst then a child! He’s A Narcissist! RUNNNN!
I hate to say it but all of these issues should have been evaluated before marriage. Get out NOW! 1 Corinthians is a great place to start.
if you don’t want to divorce him, i would suggest counseling.
Sounds controlling. You are in for a hard life staying with him . People dont change over night. You get 1 life. Do you want to forget about your happiness just to be married to this man. Don’t give to much time to sit on. He sounds like a classic narcissist.
If your not happy you know what to do he’s a male chauvinist pig pig how ever u spell that
If he’s hitting you, that’s all I need to know, leave.
Before things get worse…
You should give one another space &/or seek couples therapy as soon as possible.
Take your phone and get in the car and drive home. Now.
You need to get out. The second he put his hands on you you should have been gone
Sorry, but you should have never married this lil boy! No man will ever demean any female! You need to run away back hm to your family and never look back!
You came here knowing full well everyone is going to tell you to get out now. He is alienating you from your family and being mentally and physically abusive. He is a narcissist and that doesn’t get better! Leave him before it gets any worse
Before you know it he WILL come between you and your children. Not getting along with your family is another way of alienating you from them. You have a few choices, try to get him to a Dr to see if he needs meds, stay and let the verbal and physical abuse get worse or get out now before it get’s worse. Good luck to you
If you have grown children, you are wise enough to know the right decision to make.
First red flag, the way he talks to his mother.
Second, a person who loves you won’t lay hands on you in an aggressive manner.
Third, he doesn’t get along with your family.
Fourth, his shit views on women controlling af.
Fifth, he has no desire to have a relationship with your children.
That’s 5 muh f’in red flags girl, get outta that relationship.
Um you need to leave because it will get worse and one day the only way you’ll leave that house is in a body bag
If he has gotten physical please leave
That’s scary. He should not be treating you that way. That is wrong. My husband doesn’t treat me that way. I have been in a relationship like that before and it was awful. Pack up and go home. I’m sorry he is mistreating you.
Sounds like he is on drugs, or just a douchebag. Be better to yourself girl, take that toxicity out.
Living on edge with a man who hates your family is no way to live. There are too many good men out there to settle for this piece of shit.
You should look at this page - I married a narcissist
He’s physically abusing you? Leave now.
Fuck that shit you should leave him.
The first time he got physical I would have been out of there. By staying with him you are giving him the opportunity to keep doing it. GET OUT while you can.
You can always tell how a man is going to treat you by the way he treats his mom. You both should be cherished!
Did you marry my ex husband? This is my exact story. I left him and have been happy since and that was in 2013
Girl wtf?! Why aren’t you back in Maryland yet?! You haven’t invested enough time to lose much and by the sounds of it you won’t be losing anything except maybe your life if you stay with that guy!! Get out and go home but I wouldn’t tell him you’re leaving because it doesn’t sound like he’d let you leave… Been here done this domestic violence shit!
First off I’m just going off what you’ve shared!
— is he by chance Bipolar!? The reason I ask is that could explain a lot of his highs and lows!
— I think he could benefit from Anger management classes
— since you’ve only been married a short time and his true colors have been shown — you note he has been physical with you — is love really enough?
No one deserves to be mistreated, belittled, or physically assaulted!
Lastly, no one would ever make me choose between them or my kids! No matter how old my kids are … I will choose my kids hands down!
I agree with others that he sounds narcissistic, and seems like he also has borderline personality disorder, plus a nasty disposition. I say BPD because his moods change quickly. In my mind though, it doesn’t matter what the hell he has, it’s never an excuse to put his hands on you. Get out now before you are not able to.
He needs an intervention regarding his mental health but that is highly unlikely because he sounds like a narcissist. And you need to bounce quick. It will escalate…be safe.
There’s always marriage counseling. Then you know you’ve tried your best to make it work.
He doesnt love or care about you if hes putting his hands on you! Get out now before it gets worse!!!
Physical or emotional abuse is NOT okay. No one deserves to live that way. Please consider getting couples counseling or leaving him…for your own well-being and state of mind.
LEAAAAVE you’re obviously uncomfortable and he isn’t going to change because he doesn’t think he’s in the wrong. It will get worse.
Go home. Don’t look back
Pack your stuff and go stay with one of your kids. They would welcome you getting out of a bad situation I’m sure
I quit reading at “he’s gotten physical with me twice.” Really you need advice on this. Yes you married way to soon. His party hat came off when you relocated and married. It takes about 2 yrs for that party hat to come completely off. That’s why you hear wait 2 yrs to marry. Also the way a man treats his mom is the way he is gonna treat you. What a role model your relationship will be to y’alls children. I don’t know like I said I quit reading. You are worthy! I repeat you are worthy.
Ummmmmmm RUN AND DON’T LOOK BACK
Girl you need to sneak some anti depressants into his food or drinks jk but hey it’s a thought lol. If he’s telling you that a woman shouldn’t speak that’s a (1)red flag if he’s getting physical with you that’s (2) red flag, an if any man ever told me to forget about me having a relationship with my kids or to forget about them I’d be gone in a heartbeat or he would be gone (3) red flag, an you said none of your family can get along with him (4) red flag. Yeah it’s time to leave. That’s 4 red flags I just pointed out to you that you said about him. I would sit down and see what the good part is about him and then the red flags. If you have more red flag’s than good you’ve got your answer. Also you you of noticed by the way he treats & talks to him mom. How a man treats his mom is how they will treat their wife. You really need to pack your bags and go back to where you were living by your family. Cause if you don’t things are just going to get worse & next thing you know your dead. No child(ren), parents or family member should have to get that phone call saying I’m sorry but your daughter or mother has been killed.
LEAVE HIM. If he treats his mother like that AND he’s been physical with you, there is only one answer to this. LEAVE.
Sounds like domestic violence to me… domestic discipline can be mental and physical… you need a safety plan if you feel like you can just pack up and leave then do it just go… if you don’t think youl be safe then go to the police and get information about womens shelters and get into one… I have been there so I’m not talking out of emotions I’m talking from experience… the nicest thing I can say to you is your not going to fix him and hes not going to change Break the Silence Against Domestic Violence
Wtf , seriously??? Kids / assholes…easy choice . Leave his dumb ass
Do your research on a narcissist, because you’ve married one… then leave because it will only get worse
Get out! He’s controlling your life & you should never be told to forget about your children. As a mom you should always worry. And as far a physical, it will get worse
Oof. He’s a dud. Get out now.
Run dont walk out of this marriage sound as if hes bi polar w severe anger issues dont get trapped
It sounds like you’ve married yourself a Narcissist, and his mask is starting to slip.
It is typical that you were married fast, he would have been the most unbelievably amazing man you’ve ever met, and he made you feel like the luckiest most adored woman in the world and he probably said he’d never met anyone like you either.
ex was a nasty/ crazy , cheating etc…so and so… ?
I bet he also gas lights the shit out of you, drives you to the brink and then Hoover’s you back in.
He’s trying to completely isolate you from anyone that cares about you in case they see him for what he is, or offer you any kind of support system.
If he isn’t already, he will soon start a sly smear campaign against you telling people how unhinged you’re becoming, that way if or when you ever attempt to leave or tell anyone how he’s treating you, you are already discredited.
And, this is just the beginning.
This man will destroy you from the inside out like a virus, and if he’s violent on top of that, plan carefully and leave without warning.
If any of this sounds familiar, please read up and educate yourself on what you are dealing with in this situation, there are some great FB pages full of people recovering from Narcissistic abuse , they will be a great resource to you.
Ok, normally I would say my story about my quick marriage and still married almost 15 years later. BUT the moment you said he put his hands on you…that mean he physically assulted you. You need to get out. Don’t walk, don’t go slow. Run to a lawyer, file a protection order and file for divorce. Grab your stuff when he’s at work and move out, go back to your family. Tomorrow. It WILL get worse. No doubt about it.
Sweetie go when you get a chance and don’t look back - red flags in what you said 1st he moved you away from your family into another state: 2nd told you to get over your kids and think only of you and him: 3rd his actions toward his own mother (which will now be turned upon you as well): 4th physical confrontation: 5th he doesn’t like your family or your kids - these are all narcissitic characteristics and believe me they do not change and before it gets better which it won’t it will get worse and he will turn it on you in a blink of an eye and whatever he chooses to do to you will automatically in his eyes be your fault and you drove him to do it. Please leave your life may depend upon it. In my prayers and God Bless. These type of people are full of everything you want in a person until they get you and then turn into exactly what he is turning into now.
Leave with your head held high, not after you’re miserable Also I hope you have income and a lifestyle of your own to go back to even if you decide to stay married you can’t come off as a weak woman in need to a controlling man like him.
I don’t know if he can change. He,s from a culture that expects men to be MEN And women to be survant to men. But I wouldn’t put up with being verbally nasty either.what were his parents like. Even the bible says you are partners but some men think they are masters. My 2nd husband came from that culture. I made sure he understood that we were equal partners since we both worked as teachers and I knew how things worked in both our lives. My 1st husband and father were from old style. Both my mother and I were left in the dark financially. Not happening again.
Leave him!!! I went through this with my ex and he never changed.
you are more important than a marriage. LEAVE
I can see the red flags already leave him hes unstable go home to your kids before they dont have a mom
Sorry to say, but your headed down an ugly road… get out before something happens to u… before he really hurts u
Girl! Run… you have adult children?? Would u want them in this type of relationship???
3 months? Yeaaah you Fked up…
Ur marriage is toxic. Please go get an annulment. Best advice I can give u.
In my personal experience, it only got worse.
Leave. Now. Quickly. Tell your kids you’ve seen your sanity and want it back. You’ll end up dead.
He sounds incredibly insecure… is he a single child? Regardless, you ALREADY know what you need to do.
Leaving him will be hard. If you need to understand the pattern, watch The Burning Bed. Let her give you the strength you need.
Never marry a man who treats their mom badly
He sounds atrocious and disgusting! I don’t have any advice for this marriage except for the fact you need to LEAVE. He put his hands on you TWICE. If the 3rd time happens, there is always a chance you will never see your kids again.
To many red flags! Get rid of him! It will only get worse! Especially about the kids.
I’m sure many have already said thus but its time to leave. He will not change.
Ew what are you still doing with him? Red flags EVERYWHERE! Get out of there as soon as possible. The single fact that he would want you to forget about your children (no matter how old they are)to focus on him is crazy.
Oh girl… when you are dating someone that is literally the BEST it will ever be. You do not know someone well enough in 3 months. Whats done is done, mama. But you aldwasy know what you need to do for your own sake. Good luck!
Love is blind but u know what u have to do. Would u want your kids to be in a relationship with a person like him? There’s your answer. Have the marriage annulled and move back home.
You need to run and fast before he hurts you or does something bad. Think about how your children would react if he hurt you. There could be a tragedy.
I only went with my husband 4 months before we got married and have now been married 63 years. That’s not your problem. It’s his ways