Your paying the rent, car payment, electric, all in his name? Stop paying, use that money towards your own place.
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If it was bought during ur marriage, it’s a martial asset. Which means u get 50/50. Also, if you talk to your renter, let them know he doesn’t have a job, they will move the lease to your name. I went through this with my ex husband and ended up with my car that was in his name.
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Your husband needs to have consistent mental health care. He should be seeing a mental health professional on a regular basis. If he isn’t being seen regularly, he may be struggling. Mental illness can be debilitating.
If he refuses to get the help he needs, then you do need to seek the advice of an attorney. They can advise you on your rights and suggest what you should do.
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Go get your own car in your name. Make arrangements to move. If you aren’t on the lease, stop paying & use it for a deposit for a new place. Get a consultation with an attorney, especially since you have been taking care of him for so long just to make sure you can avoid any alimony. If you have a joint account stop putting money in it & get your own account
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Stop making car payments. Sometimes u have to realize the power u do have. Right now it’s mental and monetary.
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Call a lawyers office ask for a consultation. Ask them what your options are as far as keeping the house and the car. You’ll obviously have full custody of your kid, because he can’t provide financially. DO NOT TELL ANYONE ABOUT SPEAKING WITH A LAWYER UNTIL THE LAWYER TELLS YOU TO MAKE THE MOVE ON GETTING THE DIVORCE. Tell the lawyer everything you’ve experienced with your hubs that’s negative and calling the cops. Because you’re married it’s automatic 50/50 unless there are babies involved. Then the less change and it is different in every state.
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If its in his name quit paying the bills and start over… He may wake up if bills aren’t paid and you move out
Take your child and leave…
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Get a very good divorce lawyer. And follow his/her advice.
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Since the lease is in his name, pack at bag and bounce on the 1st when rent is due. You can clearly do it by yourself, might as well do it and be happy! 
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Turn in the car for a new one IN YOUR NAME (or just stop making payments, and buy a new one in your name), put all your money in a new account in your name only, shut off cable and internet, find a new place to live, and then just move without him. He’s useless, like anyone that would make excuses for him, and you deserve, and can do better
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Before you decide to leave let him know that you want to build your credit more so you want the car refinanced in your name and if that goes well do the same with the house… The house would prob have to be in both names to help convince him, but then if the house had to be sold if he wouldn’t let you have it, then you would get some of that $.
leave him with the lease and car he can’t afford and run, don’t walk, don’t look back. I’m not saying cut all ties, you have a child together and he should be there for his child. there is always a way
I finally got out of a marriage with 2 boys got my butt to school and worked my ass off .I had a brand new car and my own house .never had help from the system .you can do it!
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See if he will let you trade in the car for another, put your name on it. If not find a used car and buy it. Start making a plan . If parents are close talk to them they might have some ideas, or a good friend someone you trust.
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You are married. Regardless of whose name the property is in you can still claim it. If you want. But, I honestly feel like you should just be done with everything. Leave it all. You don’t need constant reminders. You got this. It’s never easy to leave. It’s the fear of the unknown. It’s going to be rough but you will make a new and loving environment for your daughter.
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What everyone else says 
. And if you stay you’re teaching your daughter how she should expect to be treated.
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I would definitely talk to a lawyer.
He doesnt have a job and everythings in his name. Stop paying those things and put that money away to leave. He can figure out how to deal with it. Itll be different if your married. You may be able to keep those things either way though. Which is why a lawyer will be your best option at least for advice.
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Start to make a plan now, set money aside, find a good lawyer, try to document EVERYTHING you can, etc. I know this can’t be easy but do the research so that when the time comes that you really are done, you’re ready.
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Look into deliverance ministry, for his episodes.
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This is easy, move out and stop paying his bills.
Stay for a month save the money and bounce
Have you tried talking to him
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Start saving & get a small car " find a place to rent & leave " but make sure you have the money to do this & you don’t say if you work " but if you don’t you better get some work " good luck "
Stop making payments,save that money for your own place and walk out.
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If you want to stay there, the first step is to talk to the landlord. I have added wives and S.O.'s to leases not just for them, but because it protects me!
Once you are on the lease, when you are sure you want to separate, you can give him a deadline to move out.
When the deadline is reached, ask landlord to change the locks. As far as the car is concerned, the laws are different in different states, so you’d probably need to consult either an attorney, or maybe the leasing company could help… Good Luck.
Talk to a lawyer. Just because things are in his name doesn’t mean he will get all of it. Start planning your exit. Look forward to how things will be when he is no longer there.
You can do it, once you do It will be a big relief! Been there done that! Best decision I ever made! You and your daughter deserves to be happy! Life is to short!
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Consult an attorney before you do anything mentioned here. All of the laws are different for every state!! I have you start saving money in your own account & start looking for a place to live, ut dont sign anything until you consult an attorney first!
If there are no children, I second the advice given above. Don’t pay the bills for a month, save that money and leave. Get a used car, deposit on a place and start fresh before it’s too late. Good luck. You will be so happy that you made this tough decision in the future. You deserve happiness.
When I left I had saved a few hundred dollars ( I do have a small allotment each month) rented a car picked up my girls from school, loaded some clothes for us. Put the cat and dog in with us and drove to another state to my family who helped me.
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Sounds like he is on severe depression. You can t do anything and you are like frozen. If he went to a mental facility, he will be released with meds. Talk him into checking in for 10 days. It really does help, and they will be able to adjust his meds correctly
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Stop paying for his car and the house. Save that money and get yourself a car and new apt.
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Shut your internet off… Shut cable and all extra stuff he uses… He will have to do something other than sit in front of the tv
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Add your name to the lease, and car… then evict him out of the house for nonpayment. But…be careful…if you’re the bread winner, you could have to pay him alimony
First… stop paying for HIS stuff. The car, the lease… don’t pay for anything, he can get a job.
Second… just leave. You’re already paying for everything and doing everything yourself. You can do it somewhere else too. Take the car, you pay for it. Transfer it into your name, tell him you pay for it, you want it transferred.
Yeah “just leave” is hard… but it’s harder to stay and be miserable the rest of your life.
He’s trash.
I’m assuming he’s not working on his issues. Sadly, you can’t make him if he doesn’t make that choice on his own. Unfortunately, if you stay, that’s going to take a toll on YOUR mental health and your child’s.
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Some of the above is really good &advice, but first you need to address your mental health, feeling powerless, indecisive, & confused? Go see a therapist for yourself, make a plan, have an escape bag. A lot depends on your state for legal matters , like are you in a state that is a community property state? You might be financially responsible for the car @ the lease. Also not scare you but a person who may be in a depression may be abusive if believes you are going to leave him, be careful, plan, see a lawyer and a therapist to help make that plan & keep talking to your friend. Good luck
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Sounds to me according to you you’ve spoken with the 2 people you trust the most and didn’t take there advice. Why would you trust the advice of strangers who have no idea other than your side of situation of what’s going on. You answered all you own questions both why you want to leave and why you ate staying . If it’s really that hard of a decision to make then maybe you both should seek professional counseling. In any case Facebook is not the place to solve a marriage. Simple advice tell your husband all things you’ve told Facebook who knows he may be as ready as you are to leave the marriage.
Get a free consultation with a lawyer!!! You’ll get 30 min to tell your side and they’ll give you advice!!! You shouldn’t stay. You and your daughter deserve to be happy!!! Definitely talk to your landlord and see if they can help you. Give him an ultimatum.
You have to take courage and just leave. It’s never simple but if you keep on second guessing you will never take the plunge. Fee yourself and take care of you. It’s not a crime.
If you leave --save up enough money for rent first at some other place – leave and who is going to pay the lease and for the car if he has no job?
You may end up paying him alimony since he doesn’t work and you have been paying for everything. Time to talk to a lawyer.
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Sounds like he has a depression problem and you want to run. You haven’t stuck by nothing. Your 27 grow up. You wanted to be married at 22 you stand BY HIS SIDE THROUGH TREATMENT!!! Get him on meds,psychiatrist, doctors, you pick up the slack while he is at his worst, if you can’t then you definitely don’t deserve anyone at their best!!! Mental illness is no joke and everyone acting and saying leave you all are ridiculous!!! Hopefully your love one never suffers because it is BEYOND AWFUL !
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You need to pick your battles. Give him an empty house and the car so he get the new job to pay alimony and child support
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Get a lawyer. You having the money means you’ll have an attorney who can file all these motions together and take pictures of all the assets you have accumulated in the last 5 years. Give them to your attorney. Bank accounts attorney. Cars, Asher and dryer boats electronics kids items. Beds you name it. Give them to an attorney and make your move in silence. you CAN do this and still come out fair. Get an attorney immediately. Do not tell anyone. And once he knows never see him without handoff being in public or at your local police station. It’s common. BUT if this is a mental health issue and you are saying he could become a threat speak with someone he’s close with and see if maybe they can talk him into seeking some form of help and it’s not good to be around the kids like that. Maybe takes some time for himself (to gain control of the home) also gets him in a safer position and place.
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Go get a different car without him on it.
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It’s you’re choice in the end but it really sounds like he is struggling with depression/mental health issues and medication could really help him. Is he currently on meds? Have you talked about it at all? being someone who suffers with depression and has had some pretty low points in life I really could have used a spouse who supported me and helped me when I felt helpless and overwhelmed with the most simple task. Instead my ex husband cheated on me cause I didn’t give him the attention he needed. At the end of the day it’s up to you and you know what’s going to be best for yourself. Some people who suffer with this won’t take the help and refuse to do anything to get better so I can’t blame you for leaving, myself I took the help, I didn’t even realize how bad I had gotten honestly. It sounds like something that proper medication can solve for you. I would at the least let him know he has to either get medicated and things have to change or that you are leaving. Give him a chance to get better for your family. If he refuses then there’s nothing else you can do, can’t help someone who won’t help themselves. I am truly sorry you are dealing with this and I hope he gets the help he needs
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Sad but I’m sure he was like this before you married him so now I’ll try to make it work
See a lawyer. It doesn’t mean he gets it just because it’s in his name. A lawyer will see you one time for free to give you advise
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Girl, I was in your same exact spot a little over two years ago. I told him he could either take over all the bills that day or he could move out and I’d continue paying everything like I was. I kept the keys to the car and he drove his parents car and went and moved to his parents after he said he had no way of paying for all the bills by himself since he had no job and he would need time to get one and get his first check… which was funny because I had been doing it for so long and he saw no problem. I had every single thing of his bagged up and in the living room waiting for him the very next day. I mean I literally went through the entire house top to bottom. As soon as he moved out, I had our landlord change the locks and switch the lease into my name. I just explained we were getting a divorce and I had been the one paying the bills for over a year and that he agreed to let me keep the place. I was a dancer at the time so I danced every day and night for like a week straight and bought a car in cash a few days after he had called and cancelled our car insurance without me knowing which gave him the right to have the car people pick up the car. I didn’t care though because it wasn’t worth the payments I was paying and getting a car in cash meant no car payment which helped because I had to start paying a babysitter. It was a rough patch being at a gas station and the car being picked up without me even knowing. I thought someone had stolen it and so I called my ex and he acted like he had no clue. After calling the car lot, they said he had called and requested they take it. It was crazy. I then got the utilities transferred into my name as well so he couldn’t screw me over by having them shut off unexpectedly. If none of this had happened the way it did and he chose to keep the home, I would have packed my stuff and the kids stuff up and moved in with my mom long enough to get a place of our own.
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It would be easier without him even if you do have to start over
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I have been in that same situation but not married and I will say this. I know the struggle! I know the anxiety of thinking of starting the vet and losing everything but now is the time. Your daughter is still young and even though it won’t be easy for her, it will be easier than waiting until she is much older. Life isn’t fair or easy but we should never live a life like that just drains you and you are just so unhappy. That’s not living and your daughter will never benefit from any of that if you stay. I waited and waited and waited and the life was so drained out of me that I felt like the shell of a person. I didn’t really enjoy anything, I hated being home etc.
When I married, we spent the first 6 years getting to know each other, becoming good friends, before we had a kid. Been together 40+ years so far. Yes, she’s an extremely hard worker and yes, I, too, can be somewhat lazy, but I do help with chores, when am here
Leaving is not easy, that’s the hardest part.
I’d start by saving what money you can and then pack up and move.
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You need to get out of the mindset that You Cant…bcuz You can. You can start over and you I’m sure you don’t want your Daughter to see that this is an acceptable situation to be in,becuz it’s not. Don’t settle and stay closed in. I hope things workout in your favor…best of luck n good wishes dear.
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Well, if the car is in his name, stop paying it. If he’s the only one on the lease, there are no consequences for you to leave. You’ll have to find a new place for you and your child, but it will be better for both of you. And you can take the money you’d be paying towards his car and put it towards your own. Honestly, it’s probably not worth fighting over anyway. Sounds to me like he was trying to trap you but has actually made it easier for you to leave, at least the home. Just make sure to document that he does nothing all day so he doesn’t try to claim he’s a SAHP for alimony.
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I wouldn’t stand by that toxic behavior, yeah he might be depressed but if he’s not trying to help himself for his family it’s time to go. You already doing mostly everything yourself. Get a plan and get out.
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Start saving first thing is get a car in your name then get enough money to get on your feet quit paying bill there if need be
Life is too short…get out now and find someone who doesn’t want a mommy but an equal life partner. You deserve better!!!
Refinance the car and get it in your name. Slowly start to remove his name from everything and hire an attorney and get out. Life is way too short and your daughter will become very impressionable. Now is the time
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Car is marital property regardless of who’s name it’s in.
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How does he pay for it all if he doesn’t work? You’ll lose the big items but if you’re the one working then you’re the bread winner and he’ll be the one losing…. Who will pay his bills? Pay for his car? His house? Not his job clearly lmao. Pack your stuff and go. Why wait? He’s shown you where he stands
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Divorce is hard. Even worse when kids are involved. The grief of it is the same grief that is accociated with death. In reality it is the death of your life as you know it, that is always scary, bc the unknown is scary. However, if you know it’s time, if staying is slowly killing you, then you need to find the strength to go through with it. Don’t blame yourself. I am assuming since you mentioned never really being pro divorce, that you have tried to reason with him, bluntly told him you are not it’s not okay. I figure since he has been to mental health twice and nothing changed, it may never change, nobody can be sure on that, but you can’t wait 5 more years for it. Generally ones that end up in a mental facility after police are called, they are only there to avoid jail, so ultimately it won’t help, bc they didn’t just wake up and acknowledge they need help & seek it. You can’t love a person enough, beg or anything else enough to persuade them to do better, all you can do is accept it or leave. Hire an attorney. A judge would grant you the vehicle, likely even if you hadn’t been paying for it, bc you need it to work and care for your daughter, very possible they will allow you to keep the lease if you can show you have been paying that. Highly likely.
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Go. Either prove you have made all the payments and are the only source of income but you can most certainly leave. I started over at 28 best decision I ever made
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If he aby sits your child go get another job and save up enough money to get a place
Emotional blackmail works all the time. Just stop paying all his things coz clearly he doesn’t care about it anyways… Save up and move.
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1st thing u do is find a divorce lawyer who gives free consultations make the appointment and then sit down with them and tell them all this and let them tell u your options and guide u to the next step. Good luck
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Talk to your attorney to see what you can do if he isn’t working maybe they will transfer lease to you
Let him keep his lease and get a new place in your name. Take the car since he can’t afford to pay for it anyway. Or go buy a new one. Leave. Leave. Leave. He’s a burden
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Can’t isn’t an option. Can’t will get you fucked over. Now it’s time to clean up the messy ends. Work on getting things in your name. Start preparing to make this happen or you will have nothing. Stay a bit longer so you can tie up the lose ends. If your paying why the hell are you not on anything?? This lost cause controls that? Not anymore, do what ever it takes to make sure you are safe and have means before you sever this marriage. 
Leaving someone is hard regardless. Your comfortable, that’s the life your use to living. If he isn’t willing to change and you have to leave you will be out of you comfort zone, but you will find a new one that benefits you in the long run. Do what YOU think is best!
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Why is this Veronica Gomez chick laughing at everyone’s comments? Take your meds, girl.
Has he been to a therapist?? Was he officially diagnosed with anything, even depression after the mental health episode that led to the cops being called? Have you guys sat down and discussed your expectations from each other?? Is he actively looking for a job? If he’s toxic and abusive then I’d advocate for a divorce all day but I feel like if a man was saying the same about a woman right now, everyone would be more inclined to look into their mental health because these sound like signs of depression. You signed up for “in sickness and health”. If he has a diagnosis and is blatantly refusing help then it’s time to review your options but if you’re just flat out wanting to abandon him without diving a little deeper then maybe you both deserve someone else.
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All these comments about “girl leave”??? Did you miss the mental health parts? This screams depression, stand by your man. It’s harder for men to admit mental health. Help him through counseling, be supportive first. If things don’t change then consider the alternative. Put yourself in his shoes… women get respected for post partum but men get dissed and called lazy when depression gets brought up. Be grateful you can pay the bills and your family isn’t struggling financially.
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Finance an inexpensive car in your name only and stop paying for his. Not much you can do about the place you rent, then save up a little and move out on your own so long as you’re not on the agreement/lease for where you are now. Then leave…
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Your mental health is more important than what you’re putting up with. If he is mentally ill, give him an ultimatum to get help or you’re out. If you have to walk away with nothing but your child and mental health then so be it; you can do it. Prayers for you.
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Just start making arrangements. No need for you to deal with this any longer.
Blessings go with you!
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I don’t know what kind of mental episode he has had. Divorce and separation is bad enough for even someone that seems well, but if he is mentally unstable you really better get some things in place before you leave. Your safety and your daughter’s safety should be your utmost concern. I would seek out legal advice and a women’s advocacy group to see how you can approach this where you two can be protected. Material things are one thing but your lives and health are most important.
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Just stay long enough to put a vehicle in your name and have the money to move. Then go you handle everything anyway
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Sounds like he’s depressed. You don’t walk away from that.
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Stop paying the rent and his car payment
Save your money to get out
Either way it’s going to be difficult , so let the judge sort it out
Stop stressing your already doing it yourself
Keep moving forward
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So the man has been hospitalized for mental health issues… And clearly he isn’t getting the help he genuinely needs in that department. You just giving up isn’t going to help. Honey. Divorce isn’t always the answer. And it’s not that he doesn’t care… He is lost. He needs help.
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He has shown you who he is! Believe him the first time! Balls in your court now if you keep thinking you can’t, you won’t. It’s scary starting over but what if you did?
His mental health IS NOT your responsibility.
Your mental health is tanking bc of him. It’s okay to walk away from that.
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Stop making the payments. Stash the payment money away. This will be your get out fund.
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Honey, just leave. Stay with a friend till you can get your own place. This is definitely not what you signed off on and you need to teach your daughter about what love should look like …and it’s definitely not this. You do deserve better and you will find it, but you have to take some scary steps first. It will be ok.
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Even if the car is in his name, it’s still community property, and when a judge awards you primary custody of your child you will also get the car and anything else you need for the child.
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Plan. Have a plan. Execute said plan, slowly so he doesn’t notice. Put a bag in your trunk every night until you have everything ready (family members house, save up for a deposit)
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As hard as it may seem you definitely need a change. Despite what people might say you can’t change him. He is the only one that can help himself and if he is not willing to its not your responsibility to stay to make his life easier and yours miserable. You are still young to start anew with someone else.
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Then I’d make sure to get full custody given he’s been in a mental institution twice. Then file for child support
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I’d even stop paying the rent, if he’s that lazy he won’t notice lol it’ll give you a couple months to save
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Run out the door. It is not your job to fix him it is his job to fix him
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Get a divorce lawyer ASAP. Don’t pay anything in his name. Save and prepare to get a car and move using that money. Obviously you can do it on your own bc you have been! Just be smart about how you move and stay several steps ahead.
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You can do bad all by yourself. Others will hesitate to help you with him there doing nothing.
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Find a new place and a new car.
You’re already taking care of everything. Whats the difference?
Leave. You can’t help him. What your actually doing is enabling him because you do it all. For your sake walk away you have done enough. Marriages are NOT like this good luck
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He’s suffering from mental illness he needs therapy and meds. You also are suffering you need therapy and meds as well
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I’d throw his games away.
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Tell him if he dont help himself your leaving get him to see a doctor about his mental health and and maybe depression if hes not willing to try then why should you x
Buy ur self a car , and a small place just for u and ur daughter and get full custody!
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