Can’t never could do anything
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As a person who suffers from mental illness, he needs help and it has to start with him. You can give him all the support in the world but if he doesn’t do the work to help himself you aren’t helping him. Tell him to get help immediately or you are leaving.
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It’s not simple but it must be done. Start figuring out what needs to do sign up for assistance if you need to or a lawyer and do it. You can’t make anyone do anything and if you want more than do it.
Can you wait till tax time and get your own car and place? Then file for a divorce after your move.
You can talk to a family attorney to figure out your options first. About the property, bills, etc. Some do free consults. Good luck.
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Things come back to you… Don’t let an unhealthy attachment material possessions stop you from moving forward. Yes they are important but you are more important. As a married couple there will be laws in your state that protect you somewhat. You would be entitled to half or more if you end up the primary carer of your child
First thing first, talk to a lawyer.
I started with nothing at 33 after leaving my ex husband and it was worth it! The life I’m living now far surpasses anything I left behind!
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Time to let him go. You can do much better then that. He isn’t worth it.
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Marriage is supposed to be in sickness and in health. He sounds really depressed and struggling. I hate how people do not see depression as the sickness it is.
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Why u asking questions here? … babe, listen. GET YOURSELF A LAWYER.
If everything is in his name quit paying it. Take the money that you would normally pay the bills with that are in his name and get yourself a car and a place to live for you and your daughter. 
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If he’s a sloth and he doesn’t improve, get out of that relationship now young lady.
Baby steps. First remember if you could do it for the two of you, you can do it for you and your daughter now. Lots of people lose things and gain things. You are young and deserve more out of life. You know in your heart to go. Take the first step. Good Luck and don’t feel bad about it. Bet it won’t take him long to replace you…just needs a lonely WORKING woman.
Last year I was in your shoes. I am a ftm my ex did nothing but he had unemployment insurance and spent it on pretty ing up a pad for himself to escape. I worked I cooked and cleaned. Begged him for some attention and help. He took the car, I lost the house we were living in. Ans because of his rules I cannot take the kids full time as he wants to ensure the proper people are watching them. Although he never did when we were together. It’s hard but I am happier without him. Nothing is worth the way you feel. You deserve love and happiness
Get a lawyer that helped my case out after a year
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Everything is in his name! You can have a clean break! Pack your stuff and bounce. Well first save some money to buy a cheap beater car in cash, and enough for the first few months rent on an apartment and go! You got this!
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Take your name off the accounts have all your money moved to another account. Talk to a lawyer ASAP
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Time for tough love. Tell him how you feel and what you will do if things don’t change. Depression is hard if that is the case. Maybe he needs to get medical help. You do what’s best for you and your child.
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Try counseling at least!
Have you talked to HIM? might want to start there and tell him if he doesn’t get help you’re leaving
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You allow people to treat you the way they do. I think you know what’s best for you and your child.
Speak to the landlord an tell them what is going to come in near future, let them know you are the only one working and you need his name off the lease…or they wont be getting any more money…im sure they would rather have a paying tenant(YOU). Verses a person they will eventually have to evict…get his name off of the lease an get it in just your name…stay in the home with your child so you can keep home life as normal as possible for the child during this transition…good luck
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Start with therapy. For yourself and for him. Talk it through before you make any big moves.
You’re so young and you have a long life ahead of you and you deserve it to be a happy one. I would suggest not paying all the bills anymore and use that money to get your own place. If he doesn’t want to be homeless, he’ll have to grow up and figure it out. Get a lawyer to make sure your rights and your daughter’s rights are protected. Best of luck to you 
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Talk to a legal aid and you may be suprised what you. An do. He will have to get a job to pay child support or go to jail. There are literly jobs on every corner now. Good paying jobs.talk to family try to cone up with a cheap car that will be good enough to get to work and back. Find a reliable sitter so you. An work full time. Prepare everything before leaving if no family takes you in then rent one room or just studio with doable kitchen won’t take much. Just a microwave and hot plate. When u can afford divorse be sure to set up minimum visiting for him because he won’t be able to care for or feed the child. He dosent now. Maybe family or friends will be willing to help if they are positive you won’t go back. You won’t change him. What u see is what you get. Join a church for support when your down. If you need anything in the house and u bought it , take it. Lawyer will say that. Take whatever you or child may need. Store it at friends ir family till you need. So u don’t have to buy again. When you leave let his family know day before if he has mental issues so they will check on him if necessary police will come stay with you while you are trying to leave. Child is your priority , do whatever it takes to protect him and raise him well. Keep him safe. Be careful with strangers. Good luck. Make better choices next time hun. Kno all there is about him before you commit.
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I’m divorced multiple times. I will not deal w/ a useless man who won’t help me help him.
It’s not simple.
I really do understand your turmoil.
You have to make a plan. Do you have others you can lean on for help, a place to live, ect? If not, wait until the lease ends & don’t put him on the next one.
As long as he’s not abusive or controlling, you have time.
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Stop paying rent save that money to move on
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Get him to sign car over or trade it in. Talk to landlord.
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You should have been added to the lease the month you moved in. Your name can be added to both the car and the lease, these are simple things to do. If you are married, nearly everything is split down the middle anyway. No need to move. Tell him to start ooking for another place to live
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Is he autistic maybe ?
Sometimes ya gotta take your losses. Nothing wrong with starting over. Honestly it’s probably best. You can get a better ride and a better home in your name. When I divorced my ex husband,I left everything behind and bought new things for my new apartment. You’re paying for everything might as well just get your own stuff and let him be stuck with the bills since he doesn’t want to do Jack shit. He’s a grown man,let him figure it out lol …
Get all of that yourself. Get your own car then save, then move and tell him you want a divorce. Stop paying for his car once you get your own, give him notice. Tell him he has to get a job to pay for his car. Save for your own place and then hit him with divorce.
Before you divorce, was there ever a time that you stayed home and he worked? Sometimes mental health can really put people down and maybe he needs a way to get back to reality. Mental health is a tricky.
First all YES divorce him and move on!!! Second your legal married honey, it don’t matter who’s name is in what!!! That’s just a joke! Go get a lawyer. You will easily get 200% of the car yourself in the divorce and if he trys anything funny the judge will make him pay big bucks. 
Next the judge is going to ask him to leave the residents too!!! After marriage it don’t matter who’s name it’s in!
Just wondering if you have paid for absolutely everything and your credit rating is okay why is the car and the lease solely in his name? Surely both of your names should be on the housing lease unless you aren’t approved solely for being a non resident /citizen? I’d be chatting to the real estate agency promptly and seeing if you cannot get yourself a 2nd hand car or if the car is on finance, let HIM pay it off or it will get repossessed.
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Start putting money back. Get your name added to car loan/ title. See lawyer
3 things know love unconditionally. Women. Children. And dogs. Sounds like he’s going through something. Like you said… maybe mentally. Run out on em. He deserves someone who will be faithful when he rebounds.
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None of these folks are attorneys. When you’re actually done, that’s how you begin the ending !
move out. the lease is in his name. you can get an apt in your name. but get a good lawyer too. legal aid can help you!
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Forget the apartment…its just a rental…give landlord 1month that just you and child moving out…in mean time save up enough money for another rental…
(( leave on rent due date ))
Take car …court would award to you anyway because your working mother.
Plan it out…if he was your only child care it’s going to sting for a while…but you’ll make it in the long run
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If everything is in his name just leave him. You pay for everything anyway get your own place and take your child and file for divorce
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Stop paying for anything except for yourself & daughter. Save that money and get out. F him and his games
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Yes you can get up and leave. If all that’s in his name just leave. You can get your own car. Your paying for everything now and your names on none of it. I’m sure family and friends can help you along. And your child will have a better life also
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He sounds depressed . Seek individual and marriage counseling
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I’ve been in your exact situation, only mine was cheating on me on top of everything else. I gradually got everything in my name, asked for help from trusted friends/family, and got my ass the fuck out of there. Yes it was absolutely hell in the beginning because it’s such a huge change, but I promise you within a month you’ll be praising yourself for getting out. Start with a car, once you have a running vehicle in your name everything falls into place, you’re obviously already working so you have an advantage (I wasn’t, I was a SAHM with zero prior experience so it was tricky as hell for me) so I’d focus on a car and then make do with whatever you can until then.
Heads up, he will most likely try to sucker you back repeatedly, for the love of God be smarter than me and do NOT fall for it.
Good luck sweetie!
Start saving money. And hide it.
You can just walk out but I wouldn’t recommend it. All he has to do is prove you were living there making you liable for had cost. If he’s smart enough or angry enough that is.
You should be safe to stop paying out of pocket for the car though.
A lot also depends on where you live (laws).
Seek legal advice first. Lawyer, legal aid and I suggest you see a social worker as well. They can help get you into classes for divorce, and any help with day cares, financial advice/systems to help.
If the bills are in his name stop paying them stack your money and move problem solved
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Talk to your landlord, have him change the lease to your name, then boot him out. The landlord may do that since you’re married. Since you pay for everything you know you can afford it. If you file for a divorce and need the car, and he doesn’t because he doesn’t work, it may be awarded to you, even though it’s in his name…
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If everything is in his name then it’s his as son the line when u stop paying. Move out, get ur own shit and live your best life! Wish him the best and hope he gets help but u can’t let other ppl ruin your life!
Totally agreed take that freedom leap. You’ll end up with a better car & a nice place to live. Everything you want is on the other side of fear. Be smart say nothing but make your plan say nothing.
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Talk to your landlord make him or her realize your paying the rent. Have the lease changed without him on it
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When you file for divorce they can divide assests. As far as the apartment goes get a new one. The car even know its in his name if you can prove youve made the payments they will probably tell you to refiance and get it in your name. This is also determined on weither it was bought during the marriage or before- look up your state laws on that.
Start saving money and plan but also don’t b afraid to leave at a moments notice
Tell him your leaving … give him 2 weeks to find a job and move out …. People are all saying hide money, leave when the bills are due or take stuff … you don’t need to take stuff you can get your own stuff and place … if you just leave and he is depressed you could be looking at going to his funeral very soon after that … go to council if that’s what you want to do give your daughter more chances to have both parents in her life
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If the lease is in his name, car and car insurance are in his name, utilities bills are in his name. I would stop paying any of those bills and get my own secret bank account live there til you find a place and car for yourself. Also file the divorce and make sure get full custody of the child til he pay child support. Or can do what other said change it in your name and kick him out.
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It’s not easy, but I promise you will make more money. It will take some re-balancing and adjusting but you’ll be happier in the long run.
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Don’t just up and leave becuase he can sue for spousal abandonment. Let him know ur leaving and give him the divorce paperwork before you head out the door.
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If you pay all the bills now what’s the issue… Save your . money and move you said the house in his name. Then you can save money by not paying and putting in your pockets … What he know he gaming… By time he realizes what’s happening you will be gone and either he’ll start paying bills or be on the streets gaming…
You need to leave before you be messed up financially physically emotionally and mentally.with nothing and he will still be him
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It is time to move on without him. He will get worse as the time goes by.
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It is not easy, I have left and moved hundreds of miles with just me and the kids. Started over more times than I should have had to. Never easy but always worth it. Having family willing to help for a bit is always great. After you leave, be very careful with new relationships. We tend to gravitate to the same type of men. At least I did.
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You can up and leave but it will solve nothing, everything including money is split in half no matter who makes it… he sounds very depressed and instead of bashing him publicly maybe talk to him and get him some help?
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Well get yourself prepared money in a safe place apartment your children go to a attorney get all paperwork in line and then have him served and move on with your life and don’t look back best of luck to you and the future
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Message me cause we’re going through the same exact shit and I would love to be supportive through your journey , IT GETS BETTER!
Better leave before he hurts you
Please see a lawyer.
Think its a case of losing what you have now at 27 or lodsing out all the time and starting again at 47…dont waste years of your life supporting someone who should be supporting you…cut your losses now.
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Get things in your name that u want…put money aside… look for new place…see a lawyer if u have been supporting him and he has mental health issue u may have to help support him if u leave get all your ducks in a Row
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l get paid over $130 per hour working from home. l never thought I’d be able to do it but my buddy makes over $16088 a month doing this and she convinced me to try. The possibility with this is endless.
M0re Info. https://DollarProfits1250.pages.dev/
If your the one payong car tell him to pay it or sell it and get your own . Dont help his credit score. Hes lazy. File for divorce once u have alternate housing if lawyer advises it. Get proof if he is lsxy or apoop dad… record it. Leave him in the dust.
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If you can prove that you paid for the car you can take him to court for it.
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Start again! Put the car in your name and drive off
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In mean time make it ur goal to make him get ajob! You sont wanna habe 50 50 qith him and him get child support from you being laxy not working! Pick up apps all tje time , stay on his lazzzy ass. I bet once ur money is. Hidden in secret account as purepy urs and he needs a lawyer hell get a job!
Its time to move on. You’re already doing everything by yourself. Those are material things which you can get on your own. We’ve all been there & came out tons better on the other side. So will you
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Maybe the unpopular opinion here but sounds like your spouse has some depression.
Assisting him in seeking help, speaking to a doctor, maybe medication. These might be a good first step.
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U need to leave wont take long to get stuff back if u dont it wont end
You should speak to a lawyer, get some inside professional information and let them get papers together, if you pay for everything already then you should have proof of that, the lawyer will need that as well, also if your doing it alone with him, you will be fine without him, it will be less stress and more money because your not footing his free stay. He also sounds like he needs some help, maybe therapy… for depression.
Good luck
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Cut your losses now.
Make a plan then work the plan. Leases do not last forever.
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The lease is in his name. The car is in his name. Go see an attorney, and file for divorce. You’ve let him by long enough and have accepted the behaviors, and he is not going to respect you or change at this point. After you’ve filed your divorce papers, then leave him, go rent a place of your own. What’s in his name will be his responsibility to pay for, and if he doesn’t grow up and get a job and pay it, won’t go against your credit if your name isn’t on it. Get together any proof (tax statements, etc, that he’s not worked or assisted you. If you don’t actually OWN a home or anything together, it won’t work out as badly as you think, and you won’t be losing much at all. If you want to keep the car, you can request it, and get it put in your name, or may just be best to let him have it and the financial responsibility for it, and get your own. You’ll essentially be paying and doing everything the exact same as you are now, but without having extra weight and stress holding you down. And if you can prove mental illness to the point of him having hospitalizations, it may be best if you request supervised visitation until he can prove he’s stable enough to get your kid by himself
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Some are saying put your name on the car But I wouldn’t. From my experience, the judge awarded my ex husband our car to get to work to pay for child support. (Which we randomly, rarely receive lol) he was supposed to get it refinanced to get my name off of it. 4th time going to court with him he kept telling the judge he got a job and getting around to it.
So if your husband doesn’t pay for hardly anything and he receives it. By contract, I was told by the dealership that it didn’t matter if a judge signed it. My name was on the contract to pay for it the best they could do was just to take me off the call list when he missed payments. He’s behind over $2000 in payments. I was tired of going back to court because all he had to do was slap on a sad face and say he was trying and nothing ever happened to him.
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Girl save yourself some money. It’s better to do that now than wait for decades to go by. Take care of yourself and your child first. Stash money away and say nothing until you’re ready to make the move. Good luck.
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You’re the one making the money… sign a lease in your name and buy a car in your name… let him lose the stuff in his name.
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If you have exhausted all other avenues… ie: counseling etc… or you just feel it’s time. I say make those hard choices now rather than later. You are young it would be hard to start over… but that won’t get easier with time. The more time you wait the harder it will be in my opinion. Hope the best for you.
How about give him an ultimatum, like you got this amount of time to get off your ass or I’m out.
I would get out now before something terrible happens to you or your child he sounds unstable
I think your husband needs therapy and I think it would help you as well you need to get some of your self-confidence back. If he doesn’t do anything for you or your child in anyway then you need to start distancing yourself start putting money aside, start getting things in order to make it easier for you to leave. I will share something with you, you won’t be happy with him or without him until you’re happy with yourself that’s where it all starts.
You’re already gone, just ain’t left yet. Hopefully you have some family support that can help you. Keep your job to buy you a car/truck then get a place for you an your daughter. I’m 67 years old an getting towards the end of my life. Life is way to short to have to live like that
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You can and you have to. For yourself and your child.
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Cut your losses and start over. Unless he’s willing to sign the car over which is doubtful. Better to start from scratch again with a shot at being happy than living in misery.
How does he have a house and a car in his name with no job?
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Just start fresh it’s not in your name so stop paying won’t effect your. Save your money and contact a lawyer
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Sadly it sounds like he has servere
Mental health issues
What you have described are classic symptoms
Mental health illness don’t just disappear even with medication
It is a life long condition
No one knows when the “black dog” will show up
I get that you feel like it’s all getting
To much for you
Your not alone , it’s hard on many families and friends to watch and deal with , knowing there is nothing they can do when they have an episode
Try looking for fb support groups for families dealing with mental health issues/illness
As for leaving him
At the end of the day only you can
Make that decision
To do what’s right for you and your child
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So you really have two children just married to one🧐. If you don’t leave eventually you’ll start to resent him. Offer therapy and if he refuses get a divorce.
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You can definitely leave. Plan your escape. Stop paying for rent and the car and save for your own place. Go to a shelter if you have to and go get a car in your own name, where there’s a will there’s a way.
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Honey… plan. How much longer on the car note??? See if you can transfer car into your name. Talk about how it’s going to build your credit. Blah blah. Then bounce.
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Contact the person you’re leasing from and explain the mental health issues and lack of work for your husband. See if you can get the lease changed into your name. They should accommodate you if they want to continue to collect monthly.
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Wow…smh…everyone thinks she should leave…?
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All I can say is good luck because everything is in his name soooooo YOU ARE FUCKED 
You need to sit and weigh the pro’s and con’s on this relationship. If your spouse is the way he is due to mental illness then get him medical attention and put on the medication he needs to help. Get your name on the lease and car. If he’s not paying then have him sign things over to you and let his payments lapse and have his car repossessed it won’t affect you. Starting over isn’t as hard as you think. Your doing it alone already.
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Sounds like you’re his mother.
Get a lawyer, file for a divorce and leave.
There were no red flags in the beginning of your relationship? Seems to be a lop-sided relationship to me.
Cut your losses. You moving out just might wake him up