No one on this site is going to open their doors to you. I think that this is a decision that you need to make all on your own.
Do you really think it’s a good idea to teach your children it’s ok to be treated like that?
leave and kids will adjust and you will feel better
Relationship is toxic and your just going to end up hurting your kids if you stay .
Hire a housekeeper pay them from his check
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Thats not good for them.
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Counceling. If there isn’t a change leaves.
Talk to him tell him to act like a real man not a boy and he needs to help it’s a 2 way street not one put ur foot down
Show him your post and tell him this is how you feel and tell him to read all the comments
Marriage Counseling sounds like a really good idea !
wow all yall saying leave how about work thru it fight for ur marriage and the life you want with ur family. Show your kids that even though there is difficulty and adversity, yall can come to a compromise.
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Wrong page, we support healthy marriages not encourage divorce.
Please seek counseling .
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I think you should remember why you fell in love enough to marry him and have children with him. Seek counseling or talk to whom ever married y’all. Remember your vows “in good times and bad.” I’m just saying try to remember “your why” and then go from there. Best of luck.
Wrong page to post on!!!
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Woman up and stay. Stay home and tend to the house and kids stay with your husband. Stay and woman up. Pray for your man and pray for your marriage.
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He sounds like a chauvinist, you should leave him. I had a boyfriend once who said it’s the woman’s job to cook& clean& take care of the kids& his only job is to take out the garbage, I never even lived with him. Well 20 years later he’s never been married or had any kids& 8 years after I dumped him I went on to marry a wonderful man who cooks& cleans& takes good care of our son.
Leave, get your own place with your babies and find the happiness you deserve. There are good men dont settle for anything less than what you and your babies deserve. I doubt counseling would help. Find your equal. It will be hard for the kiddos, but it’s even worse on them if you two aren’t happy together. I wish you the best of luck.
I would talk to him about it or seek counseling. Our fist counseling session i said he doesnt help around the house and he said…thats not true…then she said…okay well what do you do? Silence. She then said write all of the chores or responsibilities that your household require and as a team assign tasks. My husband is responsible for dishes and trash. He helps with getting my daughter to bed and cleaning up the kitchen after dinner. I do the organizing, sweeping and mopping. We are finally in a place where we no longer argue over housework because we know what are responsibilities are… took us 5 years 
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Try getting to the roots of your issues instead of arguing over different topics that end up in “leave”. Without transparency and honesty, ain’t gonna work on a happy plane, especially with the stress of kids in the mix. There are ways to mend hurt in loving relationships that are in a rough cycle if y’all can stay on the same team. And outsourcing help is not a bad option. You pay a guy to fix the a/c, pay one to help walk ya through some stuff if it’ll help. Good luck.
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Like almost everyone mentioned, I’d try getting to the root of your problems and or go to counseling.
If that doesn’t work or he refuses to go, I personally couldn’t raise my children in that environment. They may be small but they’re sponges and will catch on quick to what’s going on all around them. No child deserves to be around that.
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He needs to grow up! You are supposed to be a partnership and he needs to clean and help too, I’m a husband and father and it’s only a great life when you both work toward it. As far as leaving, quitting has never been the first answer, you both need counseling, if he wont go then he dont care, but dont give him the choice and dont talk about it during an argument, set down and talk
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If your truly unhappy, you need to consider all options. Divorce being one. But make it a last resort. Talk to him when your not angry. See if there is anything worth fighting for. If there is, fight for it! But if not…leave. The kids are going to feel it either way. It’s better for them to see their mom single and happy than married and unhappy. Children are resilient. They will be ok no matter what as long as you both love and support them as you always have. Good luck!
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It’s so different for each of us, to some extent I agree with all of you. Though you live the process, your instincts will help you decide. My playboy takes his boy to creche as he works night and comes home in the morning, he takes him for haircuts, buys the fruit for the week, cooks lovely meals when he remembers, washes dishes on at times…BUT it took years of tears, shouting, silences, rebellion and finally understanding. They will never be completely 100%, he stills leaves his clothes on the floor, pulls the bed close as oppose to making the bed, so we compromise. Its tough, but whether its worthed to you, its a choice only you can make. My 16 year old daughter once told me, why cant you guys be like “a friends” parents. They like so please and thank you to each other. That also woke me up. The constant bickering kids do remember. In order to be a great mother, you also need to be in a good space. Please take care of yourself.
Do you want your kids to see this and learn that how he treats you is ok? That’s what i had to think about and that made my decision for me to leave and file for Divorce. He wasnt goimg to change, even with and after counseling. I dont want my 2 yr old son to grow up thinking it is ok to fight, yell, and disrespect his mom.
I would sit down with him calmly talk to him about ur concerns and issues with him not helping. If he won’t listen try counseling if by then it not helping he being stubborn then well leave. Or if u really want separate and go to counseling. Sadly that the best advice I can say
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Everyone is quick to jump on “leave him! You deserve better! Just go!” Umm well yea you deserve to not be treated like shit but maybe couples counseling might help. It isnt good for children to grow up seeing their parents fight that is for sure.
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The house having toys is going to happen with toddlers. Your hubby needs to realize that’s not going to change. As far a fixing a lunch for him. I do that for my husband the night before after I put the kids down. I always have as well as my own lunch. He helps clean up but I do all the cleaning. If I ask him to do something he will but most of the time it’s me cleaning. I dont mind it so much. But if it’s an issue with you guys maybe you need to assign cleaning jobs to each person so that it’s not so much for just one. Kids cause havoc on relationships. Its extra stress and working through it is worth it if you still love him. If the love is gone. That’s different. If you’re unhappy hes unhappy then in turn your kids will be too. So dont worry about changing their world cause living in a unhappy relationship is bad for everyone.
Your kids already going through “all that” because you are living in a tense hostile home environment. Your situation isnt healthy for any of you. I suggest maybe some counseling as a couple and even as a family.
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What did his mother do? If that is how he was raised that is what he might Expect. You both need to sit down and talk . Try to make a list of what you do and what he does. Maybe you can slowing give him jobs in the house. Marriage is never easy and there are always mountains to climb. All the comments of leave him seems a little to rushed. They dont know you or him.
Leave him…at least for a little bit… let the house fall apart without you…let him wash his own shit n pack his own lunches n maybe hell appreciate that shit
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The fact that you’re having to ask Facebook, in itself means, you shouldve been left 
If you really dont want to work things out or think it cant be worked out then leave. Your kids should see what a happy home looks like even if it means being single over a home that is full of tension and trust me they can see it and feel it
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Why is it always the woman’s job to make sure she talks to her husband when he isn’t angry and try to work things out. If you feel like you don’t wanna put up with it anymore? Leave. When your children are older, they’ll understand Bc if he’s mean to you, he’ll be mean to them once they’re older and don’t help him out as much as he wants. You are not his mother and y’all both work full time jobs. He can help out too. If you wanna stay and try couple’s therapy or whatever then do that. But my goodness stop coming on Facebook and asking other people Bc they’re just going to give you an extreme left or right answer.
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Ask him why he believes he is deserving of those things. Then ask why he believes you’re not supposed to get those things as well. Maybe he’s really that daft that he’s incapable of connecting the fact that you do it all.
Hes very inconsiderate. Hes not very mature. Maybe marriage counseling will help. Let him baby sit for a couple of weeks. Good luck.
You need to talk if he won’t listen then, seek counseling if he wouldn’t go start making plans to change your residence your kids are already in this mess get your life and kids in a better place of mind it’s about them and you get some peace in your life
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I agree try counseling and if that doesn’t work walk away. I wish my mum walked away from my dad
It’s like looking into a mirror only my husband is incredibly vicious with his verbal abuse.
If there is any way you can leave the children with someone for a few hours, you and your husband need time alone . Take a walk, go to a restaurant.
Yes talk with someone professional that is partial to the marriage and divorce solutions without your husband first then with your spouse .
What does he do for the kids. Does he take the kids out to give you a break?What does he contribute to the children aside from finances?
The longer you do this the worse you are hurting your kids bye letting them hear all that arguing
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Sounds like you have 3 kids…
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Listen to your heart
I think you already know the answer
Got to get a plan 1st
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I hate to tell you to leave but I think I’m going to. Your children need out of this mess.
Men should help with it all BUT GOOD LUCK VERY FEW. DO THAT I NO
Do it now before they get any older.
He sounds like a Narcisist, and trust me-it only gets worse…
If I have to be told continually told to leave…byeeee
Work on your marriage. It gets easier as the kids get older
Omg are we the same people
Quit your job. Start staying home with the kids. You and the kids will love it. After all, if you are to do all of the house work and child rearing. He’s responsible to support the lot of you financially 
. He’ll have an attitude adjustment.
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I think you have already know the answer to your question 
all the best for the future 
Sounds like your husband needs to pull his weight of being a husband and father. All I have to do is ask my husband for help and he’ll help with our daughter. He even cooks if she only wants to eat from me. Follow your gut. Your dude sounds like a dead beat.
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Take care of your children like you don’t have a job … Oh && WORK LIKE YOU DON’T HAVE CHILDREN. GEZUS!
He is a jealous controlling freak if he sends the kids to a creche wont there be toys on the floor he must have been a spoilt brat
I think they already confuse with you both arguing all the time no offence
I think you’re setting your children up for much worse letting them think it’s okay to treat women like that.
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Your kids deserve to see you treated as a woman, not a maid, or an object. YOU deserve to be treated better. Your children deserve better.
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Just pack him a lunch and clean up
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If your not happy they know and if your mood changes every time you are around him they know and will blame him
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Vows are taken seriously ! for better or worse … counseling … have a sit down …
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Your kids learn how to treat people by watching you. Girls will learn to stay with abusive men and boys will learn to abuse women. They watch and learn.
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Would you be okay with your daughter being treated that way? Or your son treating a woman that way? If the answer is no, I think you know what you need to do. Good luck girl.
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I’ve been weighing the pros and cons myself. Just be strong and you do what’s best for you and your babies. I’d talk first, make a list before if you have to. If nothing changes then make your decision.
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I ain’t your mama-jennifer Lopez
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I love the monkey see monkey do saying when it comes to parenting.
Staying (without talking things through and seeing if you guys can make it work) is going to show them that it is normal to be in an unhealthy/unhappy relationship.
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Have him do everything he thinks you should do his mind will change. If not id leave. Your kids can see that and its not okay.
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Either do as says or leave. There is no wrong answer. Whatever you do , do it in peace.
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Sounds to me like you just don’t wanna pack a lunch and that’s fine because I don’t like to either 
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If you don’t leave…you’re teaching your children how they should expect to be treated in their own relationships later. Is that what you want for them? Look at them. What kind of confusion is better for them? The kind that lasts a lifetime because they don’t understand what a healthy relationship looks like or divorced parents which countless kids go through just fine? That’s an easy call for me to make personally.
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How bout you tell him to pack his own damn lunch, and while he’s at it, pack a bag. Why should you leave? Show him the door …
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Question ?? What you need him for ?? If you work plus take care of the children n all the house responsibilities . what does he do ??
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Sounds like he lives in a fairytale world, I’d send him packing
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Stop settling. You’re both working, so you both pull weight around the house and take care of the kids. Don’t settle for this
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Leave…he doesnt appreciate you… he should make his own lunch, his hands arent broke…
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You two need to talk. Don’t give up in your marriage over the small things.
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Girl, get your kids and move on.
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Was just in this position. Just left. Currently in rebuild mode. You can either leave or stay. But you have to pick one and stick with it or you will never be happy.
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Try counseling or voicing how you feel. And if nothing changes then move forward with what will be best for you. Divorce is difficult however, so is being with a partner who does not treat you how you deserve to be treated.
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When my 3 yr old came to me when I was in tears asking me what was wrong and telling me not to cry, I knew I had stayed way too long. Don’t stay because of your kids.
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Tell him it’s 2020 and to step the fuck up. Talk to him first. Tell him if shit doesn’t change your gone.
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If he makes you feel bad about yourself every day you might rethink the entire situation…
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Confuse them how? Isn’t what you’re putting them through now with hiding your true feelings actually showing them it’s okay to be unhappy but stay, and that how your husband is treating you is acceptable so then those bad traits are inherited by circumstance and watching your marriage deteriorate slowly … it won’t be confusing if it’s explained to them properly and civility is a must… remember that they are only children and they aren’t supposed to understand these kinds of things yet and maybe you should start off saying that to them…
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Why cant he pack you lunch
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Oh wow this is tough I have no idea what to say because I definitely understand not wanting a divorce… Maybe the both of you just need some space a little time to miss each other… Why don’t you try taking a getaway weekend or week staycation somewhere with the kids just some time to clear your mind and some time for him to clear his mind and see how the communication goes from that point forward while you’re gone
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Your uses you kids as an excuse to stay that’s toxic I won’t say divorce him I’d say have a separation and see where that takes you if he dose not change his ways then divorce you do a lot for him and your household if he dose not see that his just plain selfish make sure he knows why you want the separation…
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In my experience it’s been better for the kids to see me trying to be happy then seeing me being treated some type of way. They are happier now then they have been in a long time because they no longer see me fighting anyone. After I left my last relationship I also decided to put us first and they see that. And they are 6,3, and 1. No one deserves to be treated badly
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Doesn’t sound that serious to leave.
You are just teaching your kids how they should allow someone to treat them by how you allow him to treat you. What’s confusing about that?
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He needs to understand that marriage is a joint thing. It takes both parents and he should help and if he don’t then take the kids and go because it is worse on the kids to stay if y’all aren’t happy
Is there anything good about the relationship? If the bad outweighs the good, the decision is made for you. Living in a house with arguing and discontent is not good for your children.
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Tell him your going away for the weekend and leave him with the kids…trust me
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I feel like its more detrimental to let your kids see an unhealthy relationship instead of teaching them what a fair and happy relationship is.
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Do you trust him with the kids? If so, fuckin’ leave for the weekend. See if he can do half of what you could. I mean, taste of his own medicine. If you can, he should be able too. Idk, don tolerate the damn controlling bullshit.
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You are already confusing them, making them think it’s ok to treat a woman as a maid, plus you working, and doing all the chores in the house, plus taking care of them.
Not a good example I would say.
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In time his abuse will deepen and then you might have even more children to raise alone. You might not know it but you are already alone 
. Will he go to counseling and put out an effort to compromise? Lunch can be made the night before, but help with home duties is expected and expecting no toys on floor when you have toddlers is extremely unrealistic. I had to leave, there was physical and emotional abuse of me and my kids, as well as the symptoms you mentioned. You will have to do what is right for you. I’m sorry
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Leave for a weekend and leave the kids with him and let him do everything for a change and I bet he will be begging for you back and kissing your butt!! Some men don’t realize what all we as mothers have to do every day!!! Give him a little reality check! And if he still acts like an idiot then do yourself a favor and leave!! You are his wife, not his mother and damn sure not his slave!!
Ok soooo my husband use to tell me this ALLLLL the time and one day I finally did. He was completely heartbroken after 4 months away
Every decision we make as parents will have an impact on our children, whether we believe it or not. Whether it is immediate or down the line.
Counseling. If he won’t go, go for yourself. It sounds like you’re in limbo… not sure what you want to do but know things need to change. If he isn’t willing to change and meet you halfway, leave. My entire marriage was similar to this and I finally filed a month ago. My toddler and I deserve better. Think about what you are teaching your babies and message they will learn for the future. Only you can make this decision
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