You need to confront him.
Your baby is your first priority. Keep your baby safe by all means.
Who’s more important to you?
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The Buck stops with Mamma…for all we are modern women…Momma is the brick wall between her babies and danger.
Talk to him about your concerns
It’s you and the baby…stay strong! We’ll all pray!
Do what best for you
Wait for now. Investigate further
Time to turn him into the police
Document everything…
Your child is always #1. If you have proof…show the proof and piss on whose feelings you hurt. You have to look out for her!
you need to be positive sit him down and talk to him.
Is this about smoking weed? 
PS. It’s not a probation violation if he isn’t on probation…
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There’s a lot of info missing here. First of all, like others said, it depends on the severity of what he’s doing. Another factor is does he legally have visitation rights thru the court? Because if so you absolutely cannot just stop visits you’d have to get an emergency custody order. Try talking to him like an adult. Tell him you want to see him succeed and be supportive rather than accusing.
Ok you cant violate probation if your aren’t on probation. Secondly you then say move on to the harder stuff. So Is he smoking weed? Or is he on something else. This post is very vague.
Before you just rip your child you need to talk to him. This doesn’t just hurt him but it hurts her a hell of a lot more.
Also if it’s weed. Then weed doesn’t lead to harder drugs. What leads to harder drugs is a person who wants to do harder drugs not because of weed (maybe passed usage or first try, maybe just a casual user who then gets stuck. Thats how they start using).
Call his probation officer let him know you have suspicions and give as much detail as possible. He will get caught. If your worries about your daughters safety go to court. Protect your daughter.
Well if he’s off probation he can’t be violating it. But I think you should ensure that your child isn’t in harms way, and ask him about it
Mind your own business! Is this person not your ex for a reason?
Your his EX not his P.O.
Focus on your child.
Mind your business js
Not enough of the dynamics. You obviously have custody. Drug test, negative he get supervised visits for six months then if he is still negative work on visiting with out supervision. If he is now clean he won’t have an issue, but if he argues and puts up resistance he is using keep your child away from that behavior
So you said “on the harder stuff”. So is he just smoking weed? If so you are definitely being EXTRA 
. And if you really feel uncomfortable about it yes ask him.
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Your role as a mother is to protect your child at all times. You need to ask the child’s father what is going on.
Getting supervised visitation is harder than most people think. You have to have serious proof that he is doing something very wrong. Usually, smoking marijuana is not going to change visitations especially with so many states legalizing recreational marijuana. Plus there is the expense of hiring a lawyer again, paying court costs, etc
What the hell is there to be confused about your kids safety duh
If he’s off probation, he’s not violating anything. If you know for a fact that he’s doing illegal things when your daughter is with him, go to court to modify visitation. Unfortunately, if you don’t know for a fact what he’s doing or have any evidence to prove what he’s doing…nothing’s going to change. That being said, if the dad is only smoking weed…leave it be. No point in starting drama over nothing.
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Protect your child at all cost!
Why do I feel like this is about weed?
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You have the right to be worried. Go to court and have them make him drug test. If he’s using, he needs supervised visits until he can prove he’s clean for a significant amount of time. If you really know he is, call cps. If you dont have a court order then tell him to drug test or she can’t go over there. It kind of depends on if you have a court order or not. Also depends on what you think he’s using.
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Put your child first always because one lil slip up and youll regret this for the rest of your life if he or anyone hurts your baby while shes with him
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I’m not sure what kind of “stuff” he’s into…but since you mentioned being worried it would lead to “harder” stuff, I’m going to go out on a limb and say that your concerns are about alcohol or weed.
So. Alcohol. First As long as he’s 21…it’s legal. As long as he’s not getting shit faced (difference between a drink and 5 drinks ya know) in front of your child… he’s not actually doing anything wrong. Yes. Going down that road could lead to a relapse on harder stuff so you definitely should pay attention. But there’s not really a legal leg to stand on otherwise.
Next. Weed. Here’s the “deal” weed is legal recreationally in many states and available medically in many others. This stigma that it’s a “bad” thing or a gateway drug needs to stop.
Marijuana has been shown to be beneficial to MANY mental health conditions and is actually safer with less chance of abuse or over dose than many pharmaceutical drugs.
I guarantee you. Most hardcore drug users started with pharmaceuticals as their “gate way” NOT marijuana.
And marijuana has actually shown to help prevent relapses
My advice is this: you need to stop letting the trauma of your mother’s addictions dictate how you perceive the actions of other people.
He’s not your mom. And our society and science has progressed so much in understanding mental health issues and addictions that we as individuals need to progress a little too.
By all means, if addiction to harder substances has been an issue in the past you pay attention. You pay very close attention.
But you shouldn’t ruin their relationship on a feeling.
If you feel as though he’s using any substance to the point he can’t care for the child on his time
Or you see the signs of harder drug use…
Speak up of course. She’s a your child.
But just don’t be quite so judgmental about it either.
You can’t violate probation if you’re off probation…but on the other hand if you truly feel like your child is in DIRECT harms way, talk with someone. But don’t kick a man down who’s managed to get off papers. Give him a chance to either shine or f**k up his life on his own.
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Get proof before you do anything
Addicts have no business indulging (even responsibly) in any drugs or alcohol. Anyone here who thinks differently either hasn’t needed rehab or they aren’t their taking sobriety seriously. If he has previously abused drugs and that is documented, and he is presently using any unmonitored/unprescribed substances, that is cause for concern imo.
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his shiit directly affects your child
so whether he or any1 else denies it, you make him prove to you 1st that he is clean (do a test) before you even think abt sending your child to him again
YOUR child YOUR decision
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If he just got off of probation, then technically he isn’t violating anything. You can’t control what he does. With that said, make it clear to him that the safety of your child is your number one priority and what he does in his own time is his own business, but what he does around the child is your business. If you have PROOF that he is engaging in illegal activity when he has the child, then petition the courts for modified custody/visitation. As I said, what he does isn’t your business and you can’t control what he does. All you can do, is whatever is in your power to keep your child safe.
Daughter is more important than his feelings. If he is making bad choices that could endanger her. Stop all contact if necessary call probation officer. She is the most important thing.
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If the man is smoking weed let him be!!
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Your just trying to do your job as a mother. Your not in the wrong at all.
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Depends on of it’s just like weed then I think it’s kinda silly but that’s just my opinion.
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If this is about weed, let it go…
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Child’s safety is always the priority.
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Do neither. Find out for a fact, then go from there.
Weed or not, she’s entitled to have an opinion about her child being around anyone who does any type of substance. Just because weed isn’t meth, doesn’t mean she has to feel comfortable with it. It’s still illegal in some states and if he’s busted with it while her child is in her custody, CPS will most likely get involved. Not to mention the other possible dangers that come with associating with dealers, etc. I have nothing against weed at all, but don’t bring that shit around my child. 
He sounds like super ass !
Get rid of him
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If he’s off probation then he isn’t violating probation… and if we’re talking about weed let him smoke his damn weed… 
How is he violating probation if he’s off probation?
And if you feel soo strongly that he’s doing bad and it can possibly affect yalls daughter, then put a petition in to the court, not take it upon yourself.
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If it’s weed leave him be.
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You can’t violate probation if you’re off probation.
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If he’s off probation, he can’t exactly violate it….and you can’t keep
His kid from him cus you think he might be doing something you don’t like. The only person that can change that is a judge, and he wouldn’t unless her dad is ACTUALLY doing something that could harm or affect her negatively. That sounds petty.
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- You can’t violate if he’s off
- No, weed isn’t bad. However, if he’s an addict (which he always will be) in recovery, weed is still a drug so therefore it’s considered a relapse. My personal opinion, coming from someone who’s married to a recovering addict, they will start enjoying that high and once their body is use to it, they’re going to want something stronger and then it’s down hill from there.
As I read this post, I think of my son and his child, He has PSD from being in the Mariners, my grandchild is 10, he is the most important thing to him, the only thing important to him, the mother, felt, he didn’t deserve to be a father because he drinks and other things, doesn’t like his GF, but she wants child support but 90 percent he’s with his grandmother, but you have to understand, you laid with him, YOU gave him the right to be a father, period. YOU do not have the right to feel anything about his life unless that child is in danger, your trying to hurt him thru his daughter but that child will watch you, she will either know what her father is by him showing her him self or you can keep her away and let her see what you think of him and they all grow up and they all want a dad and they all want a mom. Are you willing to hurt your child in the long run? Sounds like that will be a yes
Depends what the offense is/was
You would rather just stop allowing your daughter to go over there at all rather than confront him about a suspicion?
call the PO dont confront him yourself he may get defensive and violent
but if its about Marijuana just let the man be. Guess not enough details to really say? if you’re worried about harder stuff PO.
I dont think your child needs to be around any of that crap it tells her it is ok to do drugs.
You can’t violate probation if he is off of probation. His probation officer can not legally do anything like drug test him anymore. Talk with him about it.
If he is doing something that bad and your kid is there? Your kid can be placed in custody with cps and you will have to prove you are clean and didnt know. Contact a lawyer and have part of visitation rights include clean blood test for substance abuse.
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I agree your child comes first. No more to say. This text should be enough to take your child out of a potential traumatized situation.
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No such thing as doing a little wrong …wrong is wrong and too many blurred lines these days is what causes confusion. Don’t allow your child his presence if he’s doing wrong …simple!! He can make whatever deal out of it . Stuck to your principles and be an example to the child
If he is off probation, he is not violating his probation. That being said, if he is doing anything that could put your child in danger, let someone know. Do not let your child be put in danger
You can’t keep a child from a parent but you can call the person in charge of your case. Explain the situation. Request supervision
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Need proof. a whole lot of allegedlyness right now just thoughts no hard evidence not saying you’re right or wrong but heck I think you might be a terrorist you see how that sounds?
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Better safe, don’t want to put your child in a bad situation
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Speak to him about your concerns without accusing or arguing. If you don’t feel comfortable having your daughter going to his house, maybe his mother or someone you trust can be with them.
One of your jobs as your daughters mother is to protect her…at any cost
Always protect the child!! It doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks or wants.
Do both and protect your child from those things and situations
Your child comes first what is they child being exposed too
The child’s protection comes first. Maybe supervised visits are needed.
Your first duty is to the safety of your child.
Go to court. If you keep her from him, he could take you to court, and that could change the order in his favor.
Don’t wait, run. Even if nothing happens to the child the things she will see and learn will last forever.
You should find any and every way to make your exes business your business and then go from there. That’s the best thing to do.
What do you know is best for your helpless little girl who only has you to protect her?
clean drug test or no unsupervised visitation . You can buy kits on amazon.
First and foremost, you need to protect your child. Trust your gut instinct, be discerning and watchful.
Have you ever thought about having a conversation with him?
Stop, stop, now go to a lawyer for sound advice, or you will need a lawyer
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You only think , he may be fine until you get confirmation chill .
Just do what’s best for the kids safety
Child first. But do it right. Get a lawyer to help you find proof and request supervised visitation only through the court.
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Just report him. Confronting him will put you at risk.
Get him tested, keep your daughter home until u get results. Get a lawyer in case u need a court order
Ur child is most important so do what’s best for them
you are your child’s parent protect your child
What’s drugs so u think he’s doing…from someone who grew up around not so perfect people, I know how this stuff kind of works although it very much depends on the state you live in… first of all, I live in Ohio, CPS here has been responsible for a few toddler deaths…highly corrupt… also they make drug tests that you can take it home, get one hand it to him and tell him if he wants to see his children he’ll piss in a cup… and on a personal note from somebody who is self-medicating with marijuana all their life, Since I don’t know what drug you’re actually talking about, if it is marijuana give the man a break…I have been sober for almost 20 years and I literally can credit it to my weed smoking… ask yourself three questions: is he a good father? Is he trying? And how can you support him as he goes through being sober… addiction is very hard, you need support to get through it… we have a large amount of single mothers in this country and fathers who are just either don’t wanna be around or don’t have access to be around… there’s a lot of shitty dads out there so you have to ask yourself is he one
Your first obligation is to your child. Be strong, confront him and refuse to take your baby to him until he can prove he’s clean and sober.
It is NOT worth the risk and those that condemn your motives, be damned!
Stop letting her go over let him lose what he’s got make him miss what he’s had and make him want to fix himself to get back what he’s had.
Call his probation officer
Maybe you can get a wellness check ? I ve heard of them if a parent feels unsure
No, you should not, you should trust your mothers intuition. Always listen to your inner voice.