I think my boyfriend is hiding something: Advice?

I’m not exactly sure what I am looking for, whether it be advice, words of wisdom, or if I just need to vent. My bf and I have been together for almost three years. We’ve had our ups and downs along the way. From stupid little spats that we quickly recover from to ignoring each other for an entire day. Recently we had an argument/event occur that I am still not passed, and I don’t know how to get past it. He texted me to let me know he was on his way home from work like he normally does, ok cool. He gets home, says hi to me, and said he was thinking of going Christmas shopping for me. This was at 530 in the evening. I asked him why tonight saw as he just got home and what was the point in coming home just to instantly leave again when he passed stores on his way home, he could’ve just done it on his way, and that dinner was going to be done soon. He got an attitude, said, fine and walked out the front door. After 15 minutes or so, he came back in he says so do you have a problem if I go? He didn’t say bye, love you, nothing. I just walked out the door. Couple of hours went by, and he still hadn’t come back. I texted him, called him, nothing. He had turned his location off. This went on for an hour. He finally decides to call me back. He said he was almost home. He said he was at Walmart;Then he he went to the pier after Walmart. I asked him why he didn’t answer his phone with just a simple text, anything to let me know what was going on. Said he left his phone in his truck the whole time, that he “forgot” it. Thirty degrees, snow, and freezing rain. Nobody in their right mind would go there unless you’re ice fishing. And he doesn’t spend any more than 20 minutes in Walmart ever. He made his way back around 10. Bought nothing for anyone and couldn’t tell the truth to save his ass, as he kept changing his story. I don’t know what to think; I don’t know what to do or how to feel. He shook my trust before with talking to people behind my back, which he apologized for and said he wouldn’t do it anymore. I gave him the benefit of the doubt and had been trying to rebuild the trust, but this didn’t help.

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Well if he did get u a present he wouldn’t give it to u when he got home right…

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Maybe he’s hiding a proposal? I think you may have over reacted with him going to the store. He at least asked to make sure it was alright for him to go. I know when my husband goes Christmas shopping for me, he comes home changed into comfy clothes and heads out to the store.** And he asks to go Christmas shopping for me since he can’t do it at work** He probably ignored your texts and calls because you made the assumption he is hiding something and he had to over think whether or not the argument was worth your present.

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Maybe he’s planning something for your christmas present.

You by the sounds of it don’t trust him already. Leave. Sounds toxic as fuck

He sounds like he is up to something and I don’t think it was Christmas shopping. Just ask for the truth. In you heart you already know it. Good luck

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You call and text repeatedly and check the location on his phone?

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Seems like something is on his mind and he either doesn’t know how to explain it or he is worried about saying it. Try talking to him about everything without fighting or yelling, don’t bring up the past since you accepted his apology. He could be stressed about the holidays and not sure what to get.

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It’s possible to forget your phone in the car. I’ve done it. If he’s shopping for a gift for you of course he’s not going to bring it in for you to see. Give it more time… if this behavior continues where he leaves and dont answer then I’d say you have a right to be concerned. Otherwise it’s probably just what he said.

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I get the sense hes planning something big. I wouldn’t push this. If things are good otherwise, let it go.

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Does he do this often

Maybe u stressed him and he just shut his phone off to not listen to ur mouth

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You have no evidence that he’s doing anything wrong. It was an annoying argument. You need to make the decision to trust him and stick around, or decide that you can’t trust him, since he lied to you before, and situations where you can’t keep tabs on him will keep happening, and move on. Staying with him and not trusting him won’t work. It’s a waste of everyone’s time.

You. Check. The. Location. On. His. Phone. Say. What. ? & of course he’s going to “ not come in the house with anything “ he was going Christmas shopping for you! Lol , but to me it sounds like he took his time due to the tension before he left. Lol

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If you have gps on him and need to check it. You jave trust issues and it doesn’t sound healthy.

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If he bought you a Christmas present why would he show you? Just curious :joy:

Secondly, talk to the man and don’t make assumptions. You creating a problem in your head and that’s always a no. Talk to him, own your emotions and don’t blame him for how YOU feel. When you speak to him…say “I” statements instead of “you”. Say “Babe I was angry that you went Walmart at the last minute and I had dinner ready soon, I felt like you was up to something” but don’t assume what he was doing because you created that into your head. Communicate.

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Ask ur dad or a guy
Best people for man advice. If its worried u . U need to sit down and talk with him. If youre not sure after that ur guts telling u something

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Always trust your intuition.

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Stop overthinkng it! Even if he went shopping for you, why would he bring the gifts inside for you to see??

You must have trust issues if you’re freaking out about this small thing… have you never accidentally left your phone in a other room or somewhere else? Not all mistakes mean there is something else going on.

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Girl, you’re definitely overreacting and even if he didn’t buy anything for you, perhaps he just went for a beer to just chill out.

I think you’re looking into it more than you should.

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You already know. Save yourself from more heartbreak.

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You have location on to track him? That’s a massive red flag :triangular_flag_on_post:

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It could be a surprise Christmas present for you. I Would come home from work to just go back out to a store .you never know maybe he just wanted to freshen up before going out. As far as not trusting him, you can’t ever have a true and honest relationship between the two of you with out trust. Without trust the it’s over…your just going through the motions. I wish you the best of luck.

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Go with your gut… if it doesn’t feel right… its probably not right…

Why do you tack his location on the phone? Is that really necessary? He is a grown man and he will do what he wants to do wether you check his location or call him over and over. Maybe give him the benefit of the doubt. Maybe he really is Christmas shopping and didn’t want you to see the stores he went to.

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No TRUST ,NO RELATIONSHIP

My first thought was proposal or something big :thinking: probably bought the ring? Or other Gift then took to someone else’s house to hide it from you.

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She said she had issue with him talking to people in the past- it’s not like she’s just crazy with trust issues for no reason.
I think maybe we could flip the narrative here.
If you have to check his location and are so anxious over this and just having all of these feelings, you really need to dig deep inside yourself and find where these feelings stem from. And after you’ve done that think about it a lot and really ponder your relationship then talk to him about it too. It’s your life chica. Don’t take it lightly. Spend it with a man who makes you feel secure and loved in every way, whether it be this one or another. GL.

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Probably buying a ring? But with your attitude idk if I’d want to marry you. Sometimes you don’t need all the details if he said he was going Xmas shopping for you. Let it be a surprise. Further more if you distrust him this much, you really shouldn’t say yes even if it is a ring.

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He might have a problem with you tracking his location all the time… screams control issues on your part. And then the interrogation… and him having to ask permission to go somewhere even though he is a grown man… maybe HE isn’t the problem.

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You sound like you have major trust issues. You need to take time off any relationship and work that out before going back into any relationship.
If you have to track your man on any outing he does, just dont even try being in a relationship. No relationship with no trust is going to work out.

Why be with a man who’s location you feel the need to track? Very dysfunctional

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Looks like you have a decision to make.

I think your over reacting

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My thoughts just on what you’ve said is that it’s clear you don’t trust him. And this is a toxic relationship. Something as simple as him wanting to go Christmas shopping and you are questioning his every move. Tbh, I’d shut my location off and not answer you either it sounds as though you are controlling/smothering him. I understand there are already some trust issues in your relationship, but questioning his every move is not going to rebuild that trust, ever. Maybe you both need to rethink your relationship.

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Sounds like my ex
No thanks I wouldn’t just shake that off

Its christmas time. just relax

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Coming from someone who dealt with a past partner that also “talked” to others. I also went through the same trust issues. My gut intuition was right every single time I had seen red flags. With time he gained my trust back (if you could call it that) Uncertain he would talk to strangers again. I became very controlling in the relationship. I monitored his phone constantly during the day and at night. Coming from personal experience. That type of relationship is not worth staying in. You will never fully trust him as you once did. Don’t waste your time tracking, questioning, or worrying about your significant other. It IS NOY supposed to be that way. Please listen to my advice. Get out of the relationship. You will experience heartache during the break up. Yet you will save yourself from even more heartache than if you have stayed instead. Don’t torture yourself, set your sanity free. Its not healthy to basically stalk your partner. I left that relationship, worked on myself. And years later now married to a man who never made me question where or who he was talking to and now we have a child. If i didn’t leave that toxic relationship I would probably still be unhappy worrying and arguing with my last. You can’t make someone treat you right, that shouldn’t be your job.

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If you feel something is wrong you are usually right

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I’d ignore someone too if they were blowing my phone up and trying to track my location. Geez

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The moment you need to “track” your man, the relationship is done

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Maybe he was at a jewelry store shopping for a ring girl! Of course he wouldn’t want you to see his location there!

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Didn’t come home with a single thing🤦🏼‍♀️ nahh. I think you know exactly what your answer is.

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He could have planning a surprise, or buying you a ring… Clearly you are not at that point on the relationship though. You need to work on your trust, communication and your insecurities… He did come back in after 15 minutes to ask of it was okay…??? I wouldn’t have even asked at that point. You are probably over thinking this.

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Sounds like a unhealthy relationship

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He’s lying . Positive of that . Sounds very immature too . Best to dump and run .

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A lot of y’all folks either never been cheated on or really don’t give a fuck if he messing around, and it shows. The man disappeared for over 4 fucking hours, without a word. Had an attitude for no fucking reason from the get-go. That SCREAMS red flag.

All of you keep saying she has trust issues, of course she does. Once they wonder or talk of flirt or mess around it’s hard to trust them. Cause if they did it once, they will do it again. And she knows him enough to know he wasn’t acting like himself and acting weird. So she has a right to worry.

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It’s really fishy. Just wait and observe him a bit more. You’ll notice more off things if he is doing anything. What is done in the dark always comes to light.

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A group where we all tell you to leave him really good for advice on that stuff

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Perhaps he was buying you something special and it’s a surprise???

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Red flags everywhere.

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Sounds like he may be seeing someone. If he keeps acting weird kick him out. I wouldn’t talk to or do anything for him for a long time

Say goodbye u dont trust him he seems to be doing something behind your back and it’s not hiding presents.

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Trust your gut… that’s why you are reacting the way you are. Don’t expect him to bust out the truth anytime soon but know he’s in the middle of some stupid shit. You know him so I can’t speak to his annoyance level but you know something is different so until he decides to be an adult and tell you what is up. I personally hate waiting for other people so I’d just point blank ask what is going on and lay it all out how I feel about things what my confer are and I’d be like if you want out then we need to take those steps and try to get him to talk to you and then decide what you want to do.

You never went shopping and didn’t buy anything before? After the way you acted he probably just wanted to get out of the house. You actually check his GPS? That’s more than enough reason to know you still don’t trust him and at this point, what is the point?!:woman_shrugging:

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U probably got on his nerves questioning him that way. He told u he was thinking of going Christmas shopping…why did u continue to press him over something so trivial? Then u blowing his phone up…yeah u got on his nerves and he aint want to talk to um

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To be honest i think he just wanted to leave to avoid a huge blow up, from the post you were being narky as soon as he got home and barading him with questions about why he wants to go out shopping for you? If you were being like that towards me i wouldn’t really want to be around you especially after working and wanting to do something for you for Christmas. I dont think he is cheating and he could of easily left his phone in the car.

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Sounds fishy. You gut instinct is usually always right

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If you can’t trust your partner your relationship is doomed…
If they have done something in the past to make you not trust them your relationship has been doomed for awhile

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So many :triangular_flag_on_post::triangular_flag_on_post::triangular_flag_on_post: in this relationship. His attitude and lying. Your possesiveness (you seriously look at his location??) and clinginess… Just yikes.

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Girl its Christmas time maybe he took gifts to his moms cause he will have to show you what he bought.

My fiancé did this for Valentine’s Day a couple years ago. Turned out he was buying me my engagement ring and didn’t want me tracking him to the store.

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Let it go.
That could be because he ordered something and it needed to be picked up right then.
Keep watching though.
Don’t make yourself crazy!
:heartpulse:

My ex used to do stuff like this all the time and was constantly doing shit behind my back and making up dumb excuses thinking I wouldn’t figure it out. Sounds like something fishy is going on. But who knows. If it starts happening more often there’s your sign.

If you are questioning it then where he goes isn’t the problem. Trust is.

Too many trust issues. The level of anxiety and mistrust is just not healthy. If you are this suspicious of him then you really should end it.

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Honestly I see comments on him to out a go’s on him. If you don’t trust him then you should break up before you have kids. You deserve better

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If he can’t tell you the truth it was wrong and he knows it. Find out get over it or leave him and get over him.

He was cheating on you :woman_shrugging:t4:

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I go to the beach/dock when I need time alone :grimacing: is that not a thing?

I’ve gone shopping & came back with nothing before. Just saying. I think you set him off by questioning him to begin with. I mean if he was going out on you why would he come home then leave? It would’ve been easier to say he stayed after work longer or this went shopping etc.

Sounds like he wanted to get away from you because you over reacted to him wanting to go Christmas shopping :roll_eyes:

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Sounds like you are insecure. You jumped on him for coming home to see you and then going out to go Christmas shopping. He would have said goodbye and that he loves you had you not flipped him attitude about going shopping. I wouldn’t have answered my phone or anything either while out shopping. He was getting space from you because you had just attacked him right before he left. Going to the pier was him getting space and avoiding you having more attitude at him. Sounds like you guys either need to go to counseling or end the relationship. That much attitude, insecurity, and control is toxic.

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If you have doubts about him, I think you should not doubt those doubts. Everyone will tell you you’re overreacting and all such things, but believe me girl, there is no smoke without a fire! Therefore, no you are not overreacting. You’re just worried about his actions and you have all thr right to be. Women have intuition, and if something tells you something maybe wrong , its upto you to find out what it is. If in the past, you’ve found him to be guilty of a lie, and he yet hasn’t stopped doing that, then you have all the reason to check on him again. Checking locations etc isn’t a bad thing, especially if you want to save yourself from hurt in the long run. Im a Sri Lankan and we Asians, always keep a look out, plus our parents are damn strict with us and our partners too, hench much less divorce rates, and much higher loyalty here. Marriage is more stable and due to the fact that, simply, ppl don’t just run amuck and allowed in and out as they please . There is such a thing as loyalty and fidelity in a relationship. Please check on him thoroughly, his whereabouts and who he’s talking to. If he talks straight, you have nothing to fear love. But if he’s shady and keeps changing his words, its time you decide what’s best for you

He cheated on u that night. Js.

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If after Christmas you don’t get something special then maybe you should look at other options because he was probably lying

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u both need to grow up.

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Listen if it happened before it will happen again. Trust your gut.

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Wait lol you check his location?

I honestly believe maybe he just wanted a break. People don’t understand how destructive insecurity is. It ruined my first marriage. He was constantly up my ass, checking my location, my phone, etc. I couldn’t do anything without being under a microscope. It was suffocating.

Sometimes, I got to Walmart, spend 20 mins there and then I just drive around. I enjoy the alone time. Especially if my husband and I have been fighting.

I think maybe he did the same. I wouldn’t automatically assume that he’s cheating, but I would NEVER stay with someone who checked my freaking location. The fact that he knew to turn it off means you probably do that a lot and that’s not right.

Sit and talk. Ask him straight. A relationship isn’t healthy if you have one partner under a microscope

He probably turned his location off so that you couldn’t see what sores he was going to to get your gifts. Chiiilllll

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Sounds like your very insecure and I wouldn’t of answered my phone either after being screamed at and I wouldn’t expect to get anything after the way your treated him very toxic

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Trust your gut if you feel something is off about this then you’re probably right, however I’m not sure what you’re really asking? What would you like to happen? What is your end point in an ideal situation? Do you feel your trust issues with him are causing you to be over controlling which in turn makes him lie to get some independence? Although childish, maybe he feels the need to lie to you as hes afraid of what your reaction will be?

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Sounds like he is hiding something normally people don’t leave their phone in the car… But that’s my opinion though

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Trust your gut, it’s always right.

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My husband leaves his phone in the truck all the time. But I trust him completely. I’m not controlling

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Or, could he possibly have bought you something and its a surprise, therefore he didn’t bring it home?

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I have forgotten my phone before. That isn’t the triggers for me. The locator being off and the fact you checked it says there are issues. You need to be prepared to be single if you delve into it but I think you should clear the air so you can trust him because you currently don’t.

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Ok my ex would do the same thing. We had a rocky relationship and there were 3 times I woke up around 2 am and he was just gone. No text, no explanation. Nothing. I’d call him freaking out for an hour straight then he’d call me back saying he “was at wal mart and left his phone in the car”. Me being the idiot I am I never thought to check his phone. I never got proof he was cheating but I knew he was. Kinda sounded like your man just wanted alone time and to blow off some steam but if he’s ruined your trust by going behind your back before, I’d ask to go through his phone to calm the nerves. Good luck

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Maybe he was surprising you with something really special and is trying hard to hide it for Christmas! When my now husband was getting my engagement ring made I was impatient and kept annoying him when he would propose. He was so annoyed because he was trying to make it special. He actually pushed it off and didn’t do what he wanted because I wouldn’t leave it alone.

But yes trust your gut if something feels off if he continues to do weird stuff. But one time I wouldn’t just jump to bad conclusions just yet.

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girl you know what what’s going on, it’s up to you if you wanna keep playing his games or if you’re gonna put yourself 1st! Sometimes we keep “working” thru rough times but infidelity isn’t a rough time that’s a decision he’s making. I hope there aren’t any kids involved :cry: a man should make you feel loved and secure :100: clearly he’s not doing that so maybe it’s time you learned to love yourself better so you don’t have to feel like his is enough. The crazy thing is that they break you down so much that it will damage any future relationships you might have trust me I know :cry: good luck and remember LOVE YOURSELF 1st !

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I think you should just ask him. I think you need to reevaluate your relationship and ask yourself and him what you really want. And explain that to him. Trust your gut. Hope it helps.

Girl, you sound crazy!!!

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The best thing to do is breathe, with or without a man you have got to breathe! Give him some space, you have got to allow people space sometimes. If he is doing wrong, you will soon know. Are you wanting to save your relationship or end it?

If it looks like a duck it’s a duck. Unfortunately sometimes people revert to past habits… Trust your gut. Eventually the truth will come out. And hey maybe he just needed room to breathe… But then again usually when people get crazy defensive instead of just having a simple answer that’s a flag for me. Especially if they try to argue and leave “mad” and then use their long absence as an excuse then that’s another flag.

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I agree trust your gut it’s always right

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I think you already know the answer to this. As I read the first half I thought maybe you were over reacting but the more I read the more there were screaming red flags.

  1. First off, yall are grown and this whole ignore one another for a whole ass day instead of talking about shit is toxic asf. If you’re grown enough to be doing adult shit you’re grown enough to communicate

  2. There is zero reason for him to turn off his location beyond him being somewhere he shouldn’t be. The fact that he is doing that and that you use it as means to track him is also toxic asf

  3. Beyond the other suspicious shit, I would say it IS plausible for him to have gotten gifts and you not see or know about them. My fiance managed to keep mine hidden from me in the damn van without me noticing until he had to bring em in and wrap em

  4. I mean everything points to him cheating but it also points to a very toxic relationship that I dont feel either of you are mature enough to be in. There is a lot of childish pettiness going on and the best that could be done is yall end this train wreck now

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Could be a surprise for Christmas? But who knows :thinking:

I say with no solid proof try and stay calm but stay alert and watch his movements and actions what is in the dark shall come to light give it time.