If there are no kids involved to have to make it work, I would say the trust isn’t there and to part ways. If it’s this bad now, it’ll only get that much worse after being married. (Isn’t marriage the ultimate goal of dating for the majority of people?)
Honestly he could have something really nice for you planned and he’s just hella nervous about it.
I remember my bf (now husband) was acting really strange for days… like, copping an attitude for no reason, being really distant…I thought something was seriously wrong and he was planning on breaking up with me. One day on the way home from work (we used to commute together) we got in a huge argument because I couldn’t take the shady crap going on anymore and wanted to know what was up. I pulled in the driveway, he ran into the house, came back and sat in our Jeep with me… whipped out a ring box and proposed. Shouted “Now do you see why I was being weird!”
It was honestly one if the best days ever and I wouldn’t have wanted it to go down any other way.
Try not to think it’s all negative
Your gut is directly connected to your brain, by a newly discovered neuron circuit. The human gut is lined with more than 100 million nerve cells—it’s practically a brain unto itself. … The enteric nervous system is so extensive that it can operate as an independent entity without input from our central nervous system, although they are in regular communications.
Trust ur gut always.
If there is no trust, you need to let him go
I don’t understand why she gave him a hard time for wanting to go shopping after coming home. Sometimes you don’t want to finish work and head to the shop straight away, you want to come home first.
I’d say this girl has trust issues and if he is doing something or not she needs to also evaluate her self as well as she is never going to trust anyone when she harbours so much insecurity about herself.
Had she just said ok have fun possibly the situation wouldn’t have escalated and after that if he was going to go shopping for her he probably didn’t feel like he wanted to and ended up doing something else.
Ultimately unless she talks to him about it then the mistrust will always be there.
Cut your losses and leave. Don’t waste any more time. This kind of behaviour always leads to a dead end relationship.
Been thru this before myself, trust ur gut he has to be cheating
I think you guys are toxic. Why would you need to know his location via his phone? And obviously he doesn’t love you because you can’t lie to or hide things from people you love. Cut ties. Boot him out. End it.
Try to talk to him. Do not take disrespect atitudes. Probably we was trying to buy you something. Probably not. Ask for the true.
If you have to ask, just leave. No one is worth it.
I feel like he may have been trying to do something special for you but that’s just me. Is this a behavior that is normal? Talk through it without jumping the gun.
Maybe he’s trying to surprise you for Christmas Just trying to be positive
Seems the relationship completely lacks trust regardless of this incident. Nothing stable can come from this level of instability. I’d cut my losses and move on before it gets worse.
Did you stop to think maybe he was working on a christmas surprise for you? You most of us women assume the worst but maybe there is a positive reason for it. Maybe he took your gifts somewhere to keep it hidden from you (a friends or family members house). As I woman I know how hard it is to be trusting but try not to assume the worst.
Cut your losses. If you’re posting to fb for advice, there’s your answer right there. He’s lying and hiding stuff.
Eek, this is a hard one. He either went shopping maybe a ring? Or maybe he’s truly jerking ya around and was being sneaky but everything you described from both ends sounds super toxic and I wouldn’t put up with it!
I’ve been with my fiancé for 7 years now and have totally been through this stage.
- TALK about the occurrence that you are having trouble getting passed, it might be hard and uncomfortable but he is truly never going to know how you feel or how it effects you until you talk about it.
- It may be hard to trust him, but try! Don’t over think and turn nothing into something.
- Every man deals with issues differently, mine happens to be somewhat like yours from what I’m gathering and likes to be alone and “forget” his phone, trust me when I say, he did not forget it. That’s an excuse. BUT, that’s his way of saying He needs time alone to think or maybe just get away from reality.
- BE PATIENT with him. I know it’s hard but seriously it will help you in the long run.
- STAY CALM, don’t yell or get an attitude if you can help it when you guys argue or have a difficult conversation. (THIS GOES THE LONGEST WAY) trust me!
- Just love him. It’s been a really rough time for everyone this year.
I hope this helps. Sending hugs and good vibes!
This relationship is over. You already know.
Maybe it was a nice act of him but then you pissed him off and he behaved like a brat having a tantrum? Maybe he’s cheated? Maybe he’s had a bad day and just wanted be alone and used shopping as an excuse. Dont just boot him until you’ve talked to him
You already know the answers to all your questions, sister! Don’t sell yourself short. You know the solution.
Wait to see what you get for Christmas and you’ll find out if he was lying or not
He was doing something he shouldn’t have. He had the chance to not do it when he came back in to ask you if he could go but still left. Obviously your happiness was less important then what he had planned. Itll be hard to leave him but no matter what he says and promises, hell do it again because theres no consequences.
Always trust your gut!
Trust your gut!! If he did it before he will probably do it again.
What does your gut tell you? Trust it!
I want to say trust your gut. But at the same time is women also dwell on past experience even if it’s with the same person or person before.
I would say talk. A day later or a few days later and go from there.
If you can’t communicate, trust each other then it sure needs worked on. If it continues maybe it’s just 2 good people that bring out the worst in each other and time to move on.
You know whats up girl,
You know what is up.
What if he was going to propose?
Got a girlfriend. RUN!
You know you don’t turn off your location just to go in Walmart and you know if you’re watching his location that close you already don’t trust him to begin with. No offense but y’all sound toxic so decide if he’s worth trusting or leave because a relationship isn’t going to be anything but toxic without trust.
Your gut knows. You’re getting no validation from him either that your feelings are coming from a wrong place. Do you.
I wouldn’t make a big deal about it.You might actually ruin a real surprise.Now if you don’t get anything from him for Christmas then you can confront him
TALK to him. With no distractions. Let him know how you feel and that you’re not going to put up with behavior like this. It’s your way or the highway at this point. Couples counseling if you feel it’s appropriate, that’s for you to decide. You know your relationship better than anyone else.
I think you’re over reacting. Maybe he has a surprise for you for Christmas, maybe he needs to drive and clear his head, maybe he’s planning something special for you and with you up his ass he’s getting an attitude.
At least he came home, told you he was gonna go Christmas shopping and then you get an attitude with him, put yourself in his shoes. How would you feel if everything you did got questioned and you had no privacy or even be able to leave the house for a few hours without getting in trouble.
“He shook my trust before by talking to people behind my back…”…Seriously…?? You both have lots of growing up to do…
Our gut tells us the truth while our hearts blind us.
You gut never lies, if only I’d listen to mine as its never been wrong
Girl your gut has told you everything. Ain’t a man in this entire world that shuts off their location to go to Walmart.
If you need to investigate, time to let him go…
If you have the gut feeling about it then you know!
We all know nobody turning off their location to go to fuckin walmart:/
You either gotta get the truth out of him or walk, cuz this (if youre anything like me) will eat you alive.
So sorry youre going thru this.
If hes done things behind your back before…i wouldnt put it past him now. That’s for damn sure.
Your instincts wont steer you wrong.
Listen to them.
I mean if youre looking for honesty there wasn’t a reason to cop an attitude about him leaving to go when he just got home.
I sometimes come to change or to grab something or to just come home before running back out after work as does my fiance.
I mean if you were upset you could have said hey dinners almost done do you care to wait until after? It is fishy him not answering.
But he was also probably irritated bc it seems to have been made a deal to leave when there wasn’t a big deal to be made. Only that he had jusy gotten home in the first place…
Always, always trust your gut. You already know!
Run like the wind! He lies, he will cheat and has no respect for you! Get out!
Sounds suspicious. He’s already lost your trust the first time. Once a cheater, always a cheater. Pretend to trust him and then catch him red handed. Follow him next time. Be a detective.
If you can’t trust him enough that you have to have to check his location. Then right there tells you either your just a child or you need to split and never be in a relationship again
He is either cheating or on drugs
Nooo. Remove urself from that situation( hard to do I know) and look at it from an outsiders perspective. I think u know. I think u just really want reassurance that you’re not overthinking it. Or may someone to reassure u that it doesn’t sound as bad as it does. But honestly, it’s hard to make decisions off of gut feelings. I’m sure the truth will come out when it’s meant to. In the meantime, just expect it.
3yrs isn’t much… Leave while you can! Dont invest anymore time.
3 year old relationships are just that. A new parent is only as old as their baby is. A newlywed has butterflies still. Old marriages are classic and “out of date”. We all need fixing and love at our ugliest times too. What is your love languages? Finding ours out helped us see how eachother receives love and our need without being needy. Ups and downs don’t always level out. Love is a choice not a feeling.
It does sound fishy but maybe he was doing something other than Xmas shopping like planning a proposal. In that case he would have to lie about what he was doing and act weird knowing he was lying. I wish you the best.
Go through his phone while he’s sleeping. Go through his email. Text or call the numbers you don’t know. Do it for your sanity.
It could be as simple as him needing some space after maybe not feeling appreciated or trusted when you were questioning him. Which still doesn’t give him free reign to lie to you.
Or worst case, he was cheating. I mean, you could sit with him and talk to him.
No accusations, no blaming, no pointing fingers. Just telling him how you are feeling and whats been going through your head.
alot of people goes home before going wherever else,my husband and I do it all the time and my husband has a location on my car just incase I was to wreck or something happene than he’d know and could get to me quickly and same for me with him. I dont understand why you got rude with him because he came home than wanted to go Christmas shopping for you,also my husband turns off his location just to take a break when we have arguments but I trust him and he trusts me and I turn mine off also and never have any problems because were both honest to each other and trust each other.
This is the secretive time of year, give it a couple more weeks don’t pressure him just pay attention to moods and words, the truth will always come out, don’t be negative, don’t make a mountain out of a mole hill, give it a couple more weeks.
Your gut doesn’t lie. In these situations, I learned the truth does not set you free. It ties you to more BS. Sounds like it’s time for YOU to decide if this relationship is for YOU.
Plain toxic I don’t have time to be checking on my husbands locations let him breath maybe he did really wanted to do a nice surprise for you and your being all toxic if you’re doubting him, checking on him why be with him if you don’t trust him leave
If your checking his location uve got your answer already… you know you dont trust him you dont need to ask on here you just need to listen to yourself and your gut and be strong enough to be honest with yourself and do something about it!
well could be a number of reasons.
He could be sick and went to the doctors or counselling.
He could of went to the pier to jump or just think
He may have lost his job.
He could be cheating
He could have been looking for a awesome present and couldn’t find anything that was good enough
He could be planning an engagement party.
If you love him tell him you love him. If you don’t want to loose him maybe tell him you won’t get mad if he tells you the truth just encase it’s the jumping thing. But if he tells you, you can’t get mad just move through whatever it is or separate.
Sounds like there is a third party involved in this…
Listen to your head and trust your instincts …
Sis you wouldn’t be writing this if you didn’t feel in your heart what was up
Question: let’s say you did find something unacceptable … then what?
Have you asked him what’s going on? Calmly and directly?
I’m not sure if these more to it, but to me it seems like you’re a bit overbearing. I don’t see an issue about coming home from working and leaving shortly after to go shopping. And quote honestly, if I was him, based of of the information you gave alone, I would have been pretty irritated that you created an argument out of it. Your saying no one in their right mind would go to this peir given the weather, but sometimes people need a break, and seeing as how him simply wanting to go Christmas shopping caused an argument, I’d probably need to get away from you too. I mean, you’re going so far as to try to track his location & mad because he turned it off, I personally couldn’t date someone who had to track me like that Like I said, I’m basing this off the info provided. There is probably cause for you to feel how you feel since your saying you’ve caught him talking to other females, but in all honesty, you’re behavior sounds a bit exhausting to deal with to me. It sounds like you have a reason to be insecure, but why even put yourself through all the wondering? Find someone else, you clearly have no trust in this relationship. I’m not saying it’s right, bit it sounds like there is no peace in y’all’s home due to insecurity and lack of trust and with that being said, and he probably just needed to get away. If I was him, I would feel trapped and look for any excuse to not come home, and if I had the opportunity, I wouldn’t come back at all. That’s bit extreme.
Maybe he just needed time to himself. Everyone saying he cheating and its fishy but maybe he didnt go to walmart or the pier maybe he went to your favorite store for a beautiful Christmas surprise, he came home empty handed cuz he hid it. A cheater would at least stop by walmart to cover they’re ass. All I’m sayin is dont jump to conclusions have some faith in your relationship
Maybe you really did irritate him and he just wanted to be alone away from you. I mean it sounds like you have trust issues and you might do this kind of thing alot.
Don’t over think anything. Simply talk to him.
Maybe wait until after you get your Christmas present. He sounds like a terrible liar so if he ain’t planning a proposal and you get a small, easy picked gift then I’d question again what he was actually doing. If he still doesn’t let you know then tell him what you’re thinking and that not how you want to feel in a relationship. Worse case you break up, best case it was an amazing gift and he’s just a bad liar
Who in their right minds tracks their others phone? I mean damn we should be telling the man to run honestly.
Trust your gut feelings, they are always spot on
Intuition never lies.
I just have to say, when my husband was my boyfriend and he was obviously hiding something, money was suddenly tight for him which made no sense… he was getting me an engagement ring. I got engaged on Christmas Eve… but it was nerve racking knowing he was hiding something. I never tracked his location, that’s stalking regardless of the situation, and is toxic af. So don’t please don’t, untill that point I was one your side 100%. If you want a functional relationship, you need to tell him your concerns, that you feel something’s wrong. And want to know what. Ask if he’ll let you go through his phone. You don’t need to snoop, because his answer will tell you of there’s something on it he doesn’t want you to see. If he gets defensive you just say it’s either you let me look or you can pack your bags, cause honesty is very important to me, and if your Arnt hiding things then it shouldn’t be a problem… You’ll have your answer I promise… my husband is the first man I’ve dated who will always hand me his phone if I ask. Not like I need to because we have each other’s passwords. But I don’t use it without asking because we trust eachother… Good luck
I think you know what your answer is already. I would not waist his time or yours. If the story keeps changing then well it’s up to you to keep on hearing his story’s or leave.
If you are so consumed to where you’re keeping track on the time, blowing up his phone, stocking his location, being controlling about where and when he goes to the store. He probably just wanted to get away from you. Sorry but if you’re doing this now, cheating has already been an issue. You’ve become toxic. Either get couples counseling or leave. To be honest, he’s probably not going to stick around much longer.
Maybe he didnt want u seeing where he was going to shop for you?
He’s cheating sorry
I’ve went through this with my now husband earlier in our relationship and he did talk to other people. I found out on my own through my stalking skills. He wouldn’t say anything till I made him confess. I come to find out his pos birth giver was behind a lot of it because she hates me because I’m outspoken. But I gave him the option to stay or leave right then and there. He stayed and changed his ways. And yes we have a location app on both of our phones for our own sanity as we’ve both been cheated on. But definitely give him an ultimatum. Go from there. If you still feel like you’re being lied to then leave.
Girl he was up too something and that’s obvious he left for that long with nothing in hand. If he’s done you wrong before he’s up to it again. Us girls know we must know when something isn’t right.
I’m sorry but so what. So what if his phone location is off. If you’re tracking him, then you don’t have trust and if you don’t have trust, you don’t have a relationship. You seem to be blowing this up for no reason really in my opinion. Maybe he went fishing and maybe he went shopping but either way so what.
My hubby and I do that kind of stuff to each other all the time, just make sure you aren’t over reacting first before jumping ship. Say you were concerned over his behavior and ask to see his phone. If he refuses, he’s hiding, because i have free access to my hubby’s phone.
First off, trust your gut feeling. Second, I agree with the post above about you being overbearing. I can understand if you have a reason to not trust him but, if you decide to stay with someone who has cheated or talked with other woman, you should truly try to find a way to learn how to trust him and make your relationship healthy instead of needing to track him and always second guessing him and your feelings. If you cannot do this, I’d say move on.
Hes got a home wrecking s#$t he’s hiding. Throw him out. I’ve been there and it will wreck your life the longer you let him do this. He’s clearly lying to you and it isnt right. The truth is going to come out and it will hurt but I see it as God ridding that person for the right one. If it continues confront him
He’s up to no good. Sorry.
Well either he’s cheating, or he just bought you a ring…I hope he bought you a ring and that’s why he’s being secretive
Maybe he was just annoyed with you… he came home after work and wanted to go shopping for you, and you made a big deal about it. I’d shut my location off to if my husband was using it to check up on me.
If you need to know where he is all the time and don’t trust him then you should end it.
Time is overdue for walking papers…he is lying to you and this will never change.
Tbh…even if he were crystal clear with you, it sounds like you would still doubt him and find fault with what he is doing and saying.
Maybe he was planning on getting you something but because you seemed to react in a negative way to him leaving, he decided against it, or maybe he got you something anyway and is doubting himself as to whether it is good enough for you or something you will find fault with as well.
I get that he has done things in the past to shake your trust but unless you can move past that and learn to trust him again, you will always be in doubt.
You will always be monitoring his every movement, trying to find the hidden message behind his words, wondering if he is being faithful to you…
Either talk to him calmly or break it off.
Trust your gut instinct… you know something isn’t right. Just do some digging. But heart of hearts you know the answer
This is some high school crap. 1) he doesnt have to share every detail with you on what he does. 2) he doesnt have to share his location. Ever. 3) its obvious you dont trust him. If you dont trust him why are you living with him or even with him still? If hes shown you his true nature why stay?
Tbh you sound kind of controlling. Maybe he was going to get you something but since you reacted badly he changed his mind. You could have just as easily said “can you go after dinner? Its almost ready.”
If he pushed back after that, THEN you could get angry because obviously something is going on that he needs to leave immediately for.
The only time my husband ever did this was the day he went and bought my wedding ring
Why are you calling , texting , damn give the man some space , being jealous or controlling will run him off faster than anything , I don’t bring my phone in at Walmart all the time , but I also wouldn’t put up with someone calling and texting when I do go
Come on Gals STOP feeding her you negative thoughts She can come up with plenty as it is. One thing to remember she said they were in a three year relationship. To me that means neither one owes the other any thing as long as they both get what they want out of it If not part and go your way.
Maybe. Just maybe. He turned off location so you don’t know what store he went to. Maybe he really is wanting to surprise you.
Sounds like trust is a big issue and you need to address that. But it is Christmas. So I would also remember that. My hubby sneaks stuff at Christmas too.
Who watches the location of their significant other?..they’re grown adults, not dogs. Smh I’d probably turn my location off and go find somewhere to sit by myself for a few hours too.
I can’t say what he was doing, you know him better than any of us. Listen to your heart and mind…stay strong in any decision you make…and if you don’t/can’t trust him…I think deep down you already know the answer…good luck and be happy…you only get one life…
He’s lying. Simple as that.
Follow him but dont confront him be sneaky…
Wait you have his location on your phone. Damn i have literally NEVER used a location app on my phone for anyone including my husband. You sound controlling. You sound young. Just stop…