I need some advice…Me and my husband have been together since we were in 6th grade (off and on). We have one child together. He told me last week that he is still in love with one of his old best friends from high school. From my understanding, they never dated back then but talked about it (I’m assuming during one of our many breakups when we were younger). She is married and has children. They look happily married from their profile, but I’ve heard from mutual friends that he has cheated on her multiple times. I asked him if they were talking and he said no. He told me that they haven’t spoke in awhile. They were friends on Facebook, but he said that she randomly blocked him recently. He claims that they haven’t met or talked. They used to be super close before she got married and it always made me uncomfortable with how close they were. It doesn’t help that she’s drop dead gorgeous and everything that I’m not… I read messages between him and one of his guy friends saying how unfortunate it is that they both were always in a relationship when they were younger so him and her couldn’t ever be together. But here’s the kicker… I’m having my doubts. Her youngest child looks exactly like our daughter when she was a baby. Me and him briefly separated for a few months last year (he was having drug related issues) and our separation lines up when her youngest would have been conceived. I’ve looked on his phone and there are no messages between them, not even on our phone bill history. He swears up and down that they haven’t spoke in years. Should I message her husband and tell him about my concerns, even though I’m not even sure that they have been talking? I don’t want to start drama, but I think he should at least be made aware.
Leave her husband out of it and talk to YOUR OWN HUSBAND! Sounds to me like he pursued her she rejected and blocked him. Don’t go messing someone else’s marriage up cause yours is a mess.
“I don’t want to start drama, so should I stir the pot and start some drama?”
There’s no proof for you to be even thinking about messaging her husband. Your unstable relationship isn’t a reason to destabilize someone else’s relationship.
Do not message the woman’s husband. Doing that is going to cause alot of drama.
Absolutely NOT! Somebody you have never met has absolutely no reason to hear your concerns. You don’t trust your husband, that’s your problem not his! TALK TO YOUR HUSBAND!
“I don’t WANT to start drama but I’m going to anyways” is exactly how I read that… 1. No you don’t need to talk to her husband. 2. You DO need to talk to a therapist & quite possibly a divorce lawyer because you’re only going to make everyone else around you miserable with your trust issues if not addressed.
I would say you are reaching here. This woman may have absolutely nothing to do with your husband and you want to go and tell her husband that you have a hunch? That is not okay! You need to first find facts and talk to your husband, not another woman’s husband. That’s crazy to even consider.
“I don’t want to cause drama- should I message her husband?” Girl, you are the drama.
You should message a therapist. Leave that family alone and worry about your mental health, so you can keep your own family.
Seriously? Grow up. If you think that it’s his kid then tell your husband NOT HER HUSBAND. You already started drama the minute you started accusing him of fathering another child.
First of all you have no concrete evidence and just because you and your husband have a rocky relationship doesn’t mean you can go blow up theirs.
Talk to YOUR husband, Like really express your concerns and believe him or don’t but do not message that girl or her husband, you will destroy a family which affects their kids. That is never okay!
That will absolutely cause unnecessary drama. Especially if haven’t found any evidence of her and your husband having any type of communication.
No you shouldn’t talk to her husband and cause issues in their relationship just because you’re insecure and jealous of an old friend of his. You said more than once there is absolutely no proof of them being together therefore there’s no reason to try and break up her marriage. Grow up!!
No! I wouldn’t go to her husband you should go to yours and ask him. Explain to him what your thoughts are. Why cause drama in someone else’s marriage if it’s not true? She obviously blocked your husband for a reason and has a happy home.
Her blocking him says a lot. I’m thinking she doesn’t want anything to do with y’all. Leave them alone. All or most babies look similar. That doesn’t mean anything. Your definitely over thinking.
If y’all have been off and on for that long it says you don’t trust him. You must have trust in a relationship for it to work. That’s not her fault. Stop blaming her for your jealousies. Sounds like you’ve been doing it for years. Seek therapy or just get out of the marriage.
I’d be more worried that he is in love with someone else
Lots of children cam look similar as babies and not be related. I’m not with you on this. Especially since children are involved. He chose you many times over! Leave her husband alone!
Be aware of what!? You don’t even know if they’ve talked much less anything else. It seems like he’s been pretty open about all this with you, I would trust that and work on your own marriage instead of worrying about hers.
Sounds like you want to start drama to me. And anyway, how would anything positive come out of you going to her husband?? . Don’t be a homewrecker, it won’t help anybody.
Your husband is the one with the problem. Don’t mess up someone else’s happy home unless you have solid evidence.
I think you should keep your nose out of her marriage. Your insecurities shouldn’t be made her problems. “He should at least be made aware” Of what exactly?? Talk to YOUR husband, not hers.
Be aware of what? Often babies can and do look alike, I definitely would not contact her husband because you do not know and there is absolutely no proof.
Leave her husband alone. Why cause problems in someone else’s relationship. If you’re that concerned message the woman, and respectfully ask her. If she says not at all possible leave it alone and fix your issues.
If anything I’d message her and ask her when they last time they spoke…but not her husband.u can’t message her husband with only a thought…
NO! WTH? Made aware of What exactly? You have no facts, no messages, no proof of anything! Just bc you don’t trust your husband, doesn’t mean you get to ruin someone else’s marriage! You sound crazy imo…and just want to start drama!
You can’t message someone when you don’t know the facts and if you do it’s called stirring the pot
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. I think my husband may have fathered another child: Advice?
I don’t want to start drama but I want to message a husband about something I have no evidence of let alone any proof.
Your looking for problems
So he should be made aware of something that’s being made up inside your head??? Why though??
He doesn’t need to be made aware of a damn thing. Those are called suspicions. You are stirring the pot but even considering reaching out to him.
Uh no, you should not make baseless claims against your husband and this woman to HER husband because of your own insecurities, likely destroying her marriage. You should approach your husband and perhaps the woman, and suggest a DNA test if they admit to meeting up.
But if they don’t, butt out. And get a divorce. I’m not saying he’s not cheating, I’m just saying that this isn’t a healthy relationship.
No you shouldn’t you have 0 proof. Dragging someone into this who has done noting wrong is wierd. You are asking for drama . Sounds like you married a loser as he keeps acting like one.
Be made aware of what? Maybe nothing really did go on, then you’re going to start a lot of drama between a lot of people.
this is too dramatic, leave them alone
Sounds like a convo to have with your husband. Not hers.
You could message Her. That would be more appropriate.
Please don’t do that. Deal with your husband first. That man (if anything happened at all) is the victim as are you. And blindsiding him when you don’t have the truth won’t help your situation at all
You’re just asking for trouble aren’t you?
That’s just asking for drama
You need proof of something before destroying another marriage, much less your own.
Leave her husband alone. I’m thinking your husband is the one with feelings for her. That’s why she blocked him. Stop over thinking this.
No. And absolutely you want to start drama
First, you do want to start drama. And you want the husband to flush out the truth for you.
Their marriage is none of your business so stay out of it. Stay off her page, pay more attention to your own husband and if you can’t trust him then why are you still with him?
Do not bother her husband.
Ok , so changing the words ro feel better about the situation… That does not change anything. You got your answers already, but now want more reasons? Again you allowed it. Take advise, or stop trying ro make it all better. More than one post about all this, will not change the truth… Leave and grow up…
And this is where you are about to become single and she’s going to get your man. Good luck with that. Learn when to stfu
This can’t be real
I definitely wouldn’t do that. That’s asking for drama. People/kids especially babies are suggestive with their looks. You could try to compare a baby to ___ and find similarities.
He told u he’s in love with her and hasn’t talked to her in years I call bulls—t but I wouldn’t reach out to them, I’d talk to my husband
Nooo. Leave it alone… get over yourself. Concentrate on your family and yourself
“I don’t want to start drama, but…” Yes, yes you DO want to start drama! Grow up!
Not the 1st post, just in different childish words. The answer, MOVE ON… for the sake of all of yalls happiness
No Thts just going cause so much trouble for both parties and stress as well as u said u don’t no for sure the only way to no if tht child is your husband DNA . For example where I live someone dose look like me but I don’t have any sisters at all. And I no tht my parents never cheated on each other
Dont borrow trouble, many babies and kids look alike. This is just drama no one needs.
You stay away from her husband. Jesus! You could try trusting your husband. Girl you checked the phone bills? Honestly it sounds like you need to work on yourself. I don’t want to start drama my butt. Go talk to your husband. Or keep acting crazy and push him away more. Gah
Why would you run to her husband? “I don’t want to start drama, but I’m trying to start some drama”
If it’s that big of a concern to you, ask your husband. Or ask her about it. And if they say no-let it be. Jesus.
No leave her be but why are u with someone who is in love with another ? That’s just not right for him to be talking like that. If u want you can send her a message asking but I wouldn’t even worry about it. Reevaluate your relationship and get some self-love and move on.
Why would you message her husband and potentially break up their marriage if you don’t even have any fucking idea that they talked? Sounds like you should be checking your husband instead. Just because your marriage is broken doesn’t mean you need to break up another one out of spite. You’re going to message her husband just because your babies look alike? Leave her alone. She’s clearly been through enough. Lmao fucking weirdo
It sounds like you want to ruin her marriage because of your own insecurities! WHY would you want to disrespect someone else’s marriage like that?? Gross
You… Woman, Are the Drama!!!
Ariel Love, that you girl?
Girl she already fucking knows and doesn’t care. Leave his cheating ass and worry about yourself and your own kids.
Definitely not, u have no proof to go to the husband with
I think reaching out to her husband would be unwise. I would probably reach out to her though. His side of the story is definitely sketchy. She might be dying to reach out to you but is too scared. Reach out to the other woman, not her husband.
JFC…Your gonna blow up a whole ass family bc your insecure in your own relationship? Yea, that’s starting drama. There’s literally zero evidence… even after your snooping. Get in some counseling and work on yourself
You do not go to her husband!!! That’s a big NO!
why are you being messy?
First of all, never compare yourself to another woman. Ever. Second it sounds like she blocked your husband for a reason. I would either let it go or leave if it made me that uncomfortable but I mean he’s like confessing his love for her to you so idk dude. That shit has got to be rough.
Tbh a lot of babies look similar. If you dont have any evidence what so ever aside from that you should NOT say anything imo. Im not saying you are crazy or anything because it is totally possibke but you are just going to have to wait and see. The truth always comes out in the end, though so if it is true youll eventually find out. Youd be best to just communicate with your husband about your insecurities and everything. If you cant even talk to him candidly it is a red flag for your relationship as a whole.
Why would you start drama in another family because you have your doubts? If you don’t have proof or facts, stay in your lane.
What the fuck. Made aware of what?! You went through phone bill history lady…
Sure you can message the husband your insecurities but what do you think the outcome will be? Best case scenario is you are right and both marriages end. Worst case scenario you are wrong and both marriages end and you seem like a crazy person that is obsessed with her. Imagine contemplating breaking up a home on baseless accusations because of your insecurities. Get therapy before these insecurities consume you and ruin your life.
Hearing him say he wishes they could be together would be it for me
No. Do NOT message the husband. Wtfffff??? That’s starting all of the drama, on purpose. “But I think he should be aware” THATS NOT YOUR PLACE. instead of taking it out of the girl and her husband why don’t you take it out on your husband. TALK TO YOUR HUSBAND. I can feel the resentment already. Especially since he already told you he was in love with her. Why stay and do this to yourself? He’s already shown you who he is. It has NOTHING to do with this woman’s husband.but has EVERYTHING to do with yours. Start there.
And unless you actually want them to be together because they sound like soulmates, don’t message that woman’s husband.
No, don’t you dare do that!
What do you want to do? Break up their marriage due to an imaginary affair you made up in your head that is not happening?!
Leave her husband alone. YOU HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO PROOF. YOU NEED HELP. WHY ARE YOU WANTING TO TEAR A FAMILY APART BASICALLY BC YOU ARE JEALOUS OF HER?? YOU DONT HAVE PROOF LEAVE THAT MAN AND WOMAN ALONE
Omg what’s wrong with you! Why would you Break up a possibly happy home. On what a HUNCH!!! Leave the other family alone. And if your that insecure you need to leave. Or better yet get help!
Don’t message the man, but I’d look into leaving ur husband. If he loves someone else… why would u stay? You deserve happiness too, your child is no reason to stay in a loveless marriage, especially now that he’s opened that can of worms. You will always wonder and suspect it.
No not okay could affect children … talk with your husband he is the problem. Now if you find that she is doing sneaky ish too with your hubby then I’m petty I’d say tell the husband at that point
No don’t tell her husband
You need to mind your on business
You have to talk to your husband seriously and lay it all out
And if he still sticks with no he hasn’t contacted her then give him the benefit of the doubt
He married you and he had a reason to marry you
And he’s not with her for a reason
And she blocked him so…
Then you could cause a divorce over your "thoughts " and a child loses a two parent home life style . If you had facts I would say absolutely but don’t go ruining other people’s lives smh.
No way. You need to take up these concerns with your husband and only your husband. She is none of your concern, your husband is. But unless you have proof, I would suggest letting it go
You’re really reaching here.
Snooping thru your man’s messages and reading his conversations with his guy friends…yikes! Can you say toxic?! You’re a dead ringer for my soul sister
You have no proof of anything. You may be building this up in your head. Why start anything? you’re just guessing.
Good lord woman, Do not! You know how awful it would be if they haven’t talked in years and you go putting that into her husbands head? What if he abuses her? Cheaters tend to be outrageously jealous people too. So many bad things could happen. If you really can’t drop it, reach out to her directly and ask to meet in person so nothing is in writing and out of context. Or, better yet, if he’s in love with another woman, whether she reciprocated those feelings or not, maybe it’s time for a separation between you two. So you both can get your heads and hearts in the right place.
How tf did I get in this vindictive ass page!? Not all, but SOME of y’all mfs is just crazy as hell.
If I was ya husband I’d drop ya ass and go and try and smash Becky with the good hair. Give you somethin to be a nosey gash about.
If you don’t want to start drama and you checked the history of the phone bills and he swears nothing happened then STOP MAKING DRAMA!!! you either trust him or you don’t but not sure what else you want him to say or do for you to believe him:woman_shrugging:t2:
Whoa…I agree with trusting your intuition but do not bring that drama to someone’s home without proof
Leave her husband out!!!
Uh no. I don’t think ever wanted him. She definitely doesn’t now seeing how she blocked him a long time ago. You should leave her and her family alone. It’s not their fault your husband is hung up on her. Why would you even want to stay with a man that is in live with another woman and has been your entire marriage? Nah leave him and do better b
Deal with your own cheater
Dont want to start drama??? BOTH Couples, have broke upz, there has been cheating , there is drugs involved. LORD love a duck, this is a FRICKEN FREE for ALL.
Unless she comes up with a DNA test and asks for support count your blessings.
Under no circumstances message her husband, deal with your own husband. Your suspicion and insecurity is not proof of anything. You will gain nothing by casting doubt if a child’s paternity on her husband. Leave your husband if you can’t trust him and stop trying to see how many hearts you can break with your insecurity.
So wait you have NO proof BUT yet you want to start DRAMA?? Girl bye Sarah Diveley
B’zzzz it’s not your business back the hell off. Rather he has kids or not with another women don’t concern you…leave him the hell alone that’s someone’s husband if I was her I would kick your [email protected]@ stay the hell out of it… drama queen stalker. Go to the loony bin because you have issues
Get rid of him, you don’t need to be concerned with a man who claims he’s in love with someone else. These dudes need to grow up