I think you already have the answer in your head sweetheart… It’s hard to let go sometimes but you need to for your own sanity. This is something that will drive you crazy thinking about. I hope everything works out for you girl. Don’t settle for second best when you deserve the #1 spot in his life. If he really loved you he would respect your feelings and stop talking to his ex.
Honestly - marrying him after he cheated on you was a huge risk (if I am reading that correctly). Marriage doesn’t mean anything to someone that the relationship itself meant nothing to - he proved that by cheating. You have two choices - continue letting him disrespect you and your marriage or leave him and find someone that values you in a solid relationship that leads to a healthy marriage.
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So he cheated on you before you were married, told his ex he loved and missed her before you were married, and you still married him? You obviously didn’t trust him or you wouldn’t need to go through his phone… He obviously doesn’t respect you, but you knew that before you even married him. I mean he was already doing these things before you got married
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He wasn’t messed up, he’s just sorry he got caught!
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Hunny, if he leaves you for her … LET HIM GO. He wasn’t “yours” to begin with. 
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If there was no trust before y’all got married you should’ve never gotten married. Remember if there’s no trust there’s nothing. There’s a lot of trust issues going on and I think you need to put your foot down and tell him he either chooses you or her cause you will not stay if he continues talking to her and you’ll start the divorce proceedings
I could have written this. I am the same as you…I get a gut feeling go right to my bfs phone and have always been right so far. I think you know the answer…I stay cause…well I’m an idiot when I fall in love
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Uggggh I’m oldt af and when I was younger that’s what I would have done but by doing that u gave the situation some of ur power. Man I get it I think I do… but saying it don’t make it so it just adds a new spin to it.
What drew u all together. Do u have woman friends ( I didn’t and man ugh)
I’ve lost me it seems in every relationship…and to top it my effin pickers broke…I’ve picked some lulu’s…but so did they rofl.
When he’s busy be busy! Any kids?
Take a fukin hula class? Do something fun…just u! Don’t check on him during that time ( yep been there) what pans out pans out but ull be on steadier ground.
I heard somewhere that, “ he was my cloud 9 and pissed lemon-aid” her everything but she forgot herself. He should not be treated as a girlfriend or ur only support (if so)
Just a thought.
Good luck make the right decision
If no children are involved I would just go. Honestly. It might be your second marriage but it sounds like he has led you on to pretend he is over her and in my experience. Once he cheats he will cheat again but be smarter about it.
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This post just keeps getting worse. If you’re finding stuff and he’s done stuff, you’re obviously not overreacting. 
dump him and get mentally healthy. Find someone when you’re ready who cares about you.
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Second marriage or not, you deserve better. Give yourself the same advice you would give to anyone you love. He’s a disrespectful, lying cheat. This guy is not good marriage material for anyone.
I wouldn’t tolerate this. At all.
Once a cheater always a cheater
Stop fooling yourself girl, leeeeave
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If you told him someone makes you uncomfortable, as your husband your feelings should trump any friendship. If he has already spoken inappropriate to her, this should be a no argument request. He obviously values that relationship and her feelings over yours. Unacceptable. If someone, male or female threatens your relationship in anyway it is both your responsibility to fix it before it becomes a bigger issue, he isn’t doing his part. He’s cheated and continues yo make you question your marriage, I don’t know it just doesn’t seem worth it to me. 
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Well not knowing for sure eats at you and doubt and distrust grows. Trust but verify.WiShing you the Best.outcome.
You e been together for 3 years and already married. Yikes. 
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Cut your losses and get out!
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Sweetheart I stopped reading after “he sent her a text message telling her that he loved her.” That was all I needed. At that point you should’ve walked away. It’s obvious that you didn’t because he’s your husband. At some point you have to realize that you DESERVE a faithful husband and he ain’t it.
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Pray then go as far as you can to start a life without that monster.
If he doesn’t stop I would put the skids under him and send him on his way. If he loves you like he should then he wouldn’t be texting her. If you love him enough then you will have to stay and figure it out. Good luck sweetie.
Trust issues, once trust is broken it’s always gonna be an issue. Doesn’t matter which marriage it is. Look after you. 
He wants her back leave
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Girl, why are you still with him?
You chose to stay after he sent that message. Now get over it or leave
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If you don’t have trust, you have nothing has always been my motto. You are wasting your time with him. Did he end it with her or him? Sounds like he hasn’t ever gotten over her. Though sometimes you can’t get over someone you know isn’t right for you and you know you have to and maybe that is where he was.
If you ever have a “gut” feeling and think it’s a good idea to go through your partners phone, you shouldn’t be in a relationship with that person.
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If he had cheated on you several times before you married him then WHY would you marry him in the first place? You’ve only been together 3 years. Do what you think is right for you. Just remember, we teach others how to treat us. Don’t set boundaries or make idle threats if you’re not going to go through with them. It’ll make you look like a bigger fool.
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Idk how many more red flags you need to kick his ass to the curb, he’s not respecting how you feel at all, good luck!
He’s not going to stop……get out and get tested for STD’s……sorry you are going through this
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He has cheated on you before, he sent her messages about missing and loving her before, he doesn’t respect your feelings/wishes. You already know you aren’t overreating and that things should have been over a long time ago. You have stayed even though those things have happened, he knows you’ll continue to stay and he will continue to do it because he gets away with it. I don’t know what you’re looking for here, YOU clearly need to be ready to leave and haven’t been. Do some self reflecting and gain some self respect girl, you deserve better.
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You listed so many reasons to leave
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Once a cheater, always a cheater, remember that.
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Girl. Do yourself a favor and get out of that toxic shit. No way will it get better. 3 years and he’s still doing the same shit regardless of your feelings. People only change if they see an issue with their actions and have the desire to fix it.
He doesn’t seem as if he cares about yalls relationship the same way you do.
Now, how would he handle thing’s if you were up to the same behaviors as him?
I pray you find the strength to get out and move on.
Shouldn’t of married him for 1. Idk why a lot of women rush into marriage. Have a good long engagement for sh💩t like this. He’s not over the Ex and I’d been gone the first time he cheated. Don’t be a fool over a fool. Dump him
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Damn. Looks like you didn’t learn from the first marriage
He’s already cheated on you in the past and refuses to stop talking to his ex.
Time to get a good divorce attorney and move on. He isn’t investing his time or emotional energy into you, so time to invest your time and emotional energy into a new life.
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Leave
If he loved you
He’d respect you and only love you
I’m sorry but if he’s cheated before what makes you think he hasn’t messed around with her?
You deserve someone who loves you and respects you
Prayers love
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Why would you marry the dude after knowing all of this early on…
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Respectfully, leave. You deserve so much better
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So many red flags here. Red flags early on too
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He cheats & chats with his ex…then hides it too? I’d have left the first time he cheated.
Damn you married someone that cheated on you several times!?? I could understand once… maybe. He’s definitely cheating on your ass.
U lost me at he already has cheated a few times.
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Oooffff. Either leave or accept that relationship for what it is… you will never ever be respected or treated fairly and you’ll always be lied to and cheated on. You know what you need to do, it’s just hard to do it.
Girl, I’m sorry to be blunt but you should of never married him after he’s cheated on you, that sounds so sad
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It’s gonna end up bad leave now
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You do not put another girls feelings over your wife. It’s you or her.
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If you don’t have kids together, I wouldn’t bother trying to make it work.
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I think you are nothing but a security blanket for him .he does whatever he wants to do and you just btch about it .he knows you will let him get away with it because you always do ! Kick his as to the curb!
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Well !!! Marriage doesn’t change a cheater, the first time he cheated was on his, the rest …. My dear completely your fault
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Why would have even married him knowing he was still talking to her and disrespecting you? Did you honestly think he’d change? And then you continue to stay time after time of him cheating on you? You need to leave
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Why would marry this guy when you had gut feelings and didn’t trust him? He still has feelings for her and you know that. Why would you be his settling choice? Leave him find someone that makes you their first choice.
Either end the relationship or let that man cheat in peace. You know what he’s doing, he’s clearly not changing at all. Either accept that he will always disrespect you & cheat or leave him. You deserve better, you already know that.
Know your worth, then add taxes!
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Red flag after red flag. He’s already cheated probably still cheating he does not respect you your feelings let alone you all’s marriage. I’m sure he would be pissed if u were talking with your exes. Sis move fwd, life is so short why live the rest of your life not being able to trust, have a loyal respectful loving spouse, furthermore why waste your time with someone who doesn’t respect your feelings? Sis let him go, heal, and live the life you deserve🌹
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Emotional cheating at the very least. He is straight disrespectful to your MARRIAGE. A man CANT be friends with anyone that doesn’t respect the marriage.
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I would left when he cheated I would leave
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Run as fast as u can! He always gonna be cheating
He cheated and you married him anyway? How long are you willing to allow him to keep disrespecting you before you respect yourself enough to leave? The other girl doesn’t even matter. If it wasn’t her it would be someone else. The problem is your husband.
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Tell him if he does not stop communicating with her that you will leave that is so disrespectful. you don’t get to be friends with your exes when you’re married they’re exes and in the past for a reason and they should be left there. There’s a reason hes so adamant to keeping communication with her He shouldn’t care that much Usually if he knows it’s bothering you. Trust your gut in my opinion it sounds like there’s something going on or he wants there to be something going on with her or else why would he have sent that? being that hes cheated you have every right to go through his stuff He made that Bed now he has to lay in it. This right here is the exact reason why I my husband and I don’t speak to any of our acces and we do not have friends of the opposite sex is just asking for problems. I’m sorry he is disrespecting your marriage so much I really feel for you that is so wrong and don’t make him feel like it’s your fault cause you did nothing wrong.
Question if… The ex becomes avail or interested, then what 
he may leap at this opportunity. Maybe y’all together to fill in time… Idk, there’s no nice way to put it
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Like Oprah Winfrey would say, put on ur best sneakers and start running girl
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I know that you can’t help who you love. Its obvious that you love this man but does he love you back is the big question.
Only you can decide the answer to your question. I feel that you dont want to lose him but once you put your foot down with an ultimatum you HAVE to stick to it and be willing to start your life over.
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If he has cheated on you before he probably will again maybe with his ex or someone else. I’d leave.
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If you’re truly willing to leave him over this, calmly make an ultimatum. Be sure to back it up with action if he chooses her.
Find the strength to leave the marriage and leave them to it. He will do the same to her. When a man marries his mistress, it leaves a vacancy.
I know ill get a lot of slack for this, but eff it.
You expected him to change?
He cheated on you before you were married. So you thought magically he wouldn’t? All you did was legally tie yourself to someone that has an obvious cheating backround
I feel for you, thats a crappy situation to be in. But the writing was literally on the wall
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Why did you marry someone you don’t trust
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I would get a divorce
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Deep down inside, you know the answer!
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Your answer is in your post! Follow your gut feeling!
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He didnt respect you then and he doesnt now… can you live with that??
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Once a cheater always a cheater. Shitcan him and his lies
Leave his butt. You shouldn’t of married him if he cheated on you before you got married. He don’t have no respect for you.
I get paid over $ 130 per hour w0rking from home. I never thought l’d be able to do it but my colleague makes over $ 17644 a month doing this and she convinced me to try. The possibility with this is limitless.
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You need to know your own worth and you are definitely worth more than he is giving - seems he’s not over his ex and you were a rebound relationship - cut your loses before you lose anymore and walk away there is someone out there that is going to treat you and love only you the way you should be and it seems he isn’t the one. If you stay you are just giving him the okay to do what he’s doing using you as a “wifey” to do for him while he does everyone else and not care how you feel about any of it. Good luck in your decision.
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I’d be out of there like a shot
You need to really think about why you married 2nd time…this is vital to understand. Then (with intelligent planning) divorce him. Be very careful with next potential husband that You are not repeating same mistake. (I’ve been there—so, speaking from experience)
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Sorry! He is lying. 
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I think you know what to do… it’s over dear
So he cheated on you and then you guys got married? If that’s the case then that’s a little silly
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When a man is constantly spending time with and texting and chasing another woman… LET HIM GOOOOO
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I hate to he the person who just says leave. But unfortunately things won’t change. The disrespect certainly there. Things won’t change
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Leave. Also like Frances said intelligent planning get a divorce
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He is disrespectful and acting like a child. He has no respect for you and he doesn’t value you and doesn’t think you’ll actually leave…
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My suggestion would be to read “What Radical Husbands Do”. Truly life changing. Setting boundaries to put your wife and marriage first.
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This was a high school Scenario for me. I was with him from 9th-12th constantly broke up and back together after a week. He always cheated on me and talked to other girls. One break was a full 6 months, he messaged me to get back together like he always had. His phone went off in the night while he was sleeping. I seen the text to his ex same as above and I lost it. Said he wouldn’t stop talking to her and I needed to not look at his phone. Nope 
I told him he could leave and go be with her. I threw him out and never looked back! He messaged me a 2yrs later wanting to leave said girl for me again. He did I agreed to start slow. She messaged less than a month in and told him she was pregnant! I dodged a bullet! Haha got with my now husband 3 month later and have been with my husband since. (9yrs now)
Why did you marry him knowing he’s in love with someone else and you haven’t trusted him since anyways?
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A drunk confession was his blunt honesty; that was the first red flag years ago.
Stop fighting for someone that’s not fighting to keep you. Never feel or be second place in your marriage. 
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It seems to me that you already know the answer to your question. Honestly I would have never married him to begin with if he cheated on you twice.
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He shouldn’t hid things from you and he should respect you! How would he feel if this was you doing this to him! Hhhhmmmm!
Nicole Bailey i was thinking this… if he was cheating i wouldn’t have even considered marriage. it’s been 3 years, not 13 & he has been fucking off for all 3. it would’ve taken atleast 3 years of him being a good man for me to ever consider marriage against. That’s jus me… i understand every one handles things in their own way but dayuuumm
Save yourself from grey hair and wrinkles LEAVE.
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You married him even though he cheated on you.
Oh, you seem to be suffering from the coincidences of your own actions.
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pack and leave see what he dose and reacts if dosnt do shit about it or show as hard to fight for u divorces asap and take all u deserve for been played
LOL you still chose to marry him after you seen those messages to her? When y’all were still new? What were you thinking 
she’s the one for him, your holding up their time tbh and I know that’s horrible to say, but it’s the pill you need to swollow. I garentee the minute you guys split they will be together and she will marry him
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I get paid over $ 130 per hour w0rking from home. I never thought l’d be able to do it but my colleague makes over $ 16249 a month doing this and she convinced me to try. The possibility with this is limitless.
M0re Info. ===> https://incomeworkz391.netlify.app/
I’m sorry you’re going through this. I can read though this and understand how much you love him, and that’s ok. But it’s a one sided love.
When I was with my ex husband, everything that you described in the beginning was us, he cheated in the beginning of our relationship and with his ex.
My ex husband said the reason he would see her was because he was close with her family and the littlest sister was practically raised with my ex in her life and when he walked away from the girl, it hurt him to leave the little sister.
They stayed in contact and talked behind my back.
The day I found out I was already pregnant. So I stayed.
Longer story shorter, he didn’t stop, it turned out I was in denial. I was insecure and felt like there was something wrong with me.
11 years and 2 kids later, I asked him to leave. I wasn’t in love. I wasn’t able to cry for him and the sight of him was disgusting.
He begged for two weeks for me not to leave before he left and was fairing someone within the first few weeks after.
What I’m saying to you is, you already know you need to leave but you’re scared, you’re not ready, you think he will change and just maybe he might regret his actions and be totally committed to you…this is what we want, but it’s not what he wants.
And the truth is you forgot who you are! . YOURE A QUEEN, PRICELESS, A DAUGHTER OF A KING….You are worth so much more than you believe.
No man is worth being disrespected. Only when you’re ready you’ll walk and not look back.
I’m going to say a prayer for you. Hugs girlie.
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