I see so many have never been in this situation. I have. I ended up telling my dad. It opened up a whole bunch of truths and put our family through a lot. I was a young adult in college with two younger siblings still in school, all of us living with our parents. My dad was not surprised but definitely heartbroken. She’s a repeat cheater. Three marriages. There were days I regretted opening up to my dad about what I discovered. But I wouldn’t change it for the world bc everyone, including both of my parents, are in much better situations and relationships bc of it. My younger siblings got the brunt of it all bc my dad then confessed he was not the biological father to one of them. Mom had stepped out on him before. He wanted to fix things- but some people just don’t change. I believe in the end I saved me dad a lot more years of heartache and disappointment and he was able to start fresh and find love. So follow your gut whichever way it leads you.
Message me privately. Ive been in this situation with my mom and dad.
Id be going through her phone and outing my mom but we already have a rocky relationship due to her dishonesty. The people telling you to mind your business probably are dishonest themselves
Ur mums ab adult FFS whatever she is or isn’t doing stalking keeping tabs checking her phone ect is not OK, she’s ur mother show some bloody respect! That woman brought u in to this world will forever love you no matter what! That is not ur marriage stay out of it! Fkn go and hug ur mother tell her u love her coz right now Shel feel like nobody loves her!
Leave it alone. That’s your parents business. For all you know, they’re swingers. Maybe they fuck people and you just don’t know, because that’s their business, and you’re their child. Leave it be. Don’t make things worse for yourself, because at the end of the day, they’re gonna do what they’re gonna do. They’re HUMAN. Not hero’s.
no one is being g honest in the marriage they have to figure it out. unfortunately if it’s not affecting you it’s not your concern.
Yeah you gotta stay out of that. You made it known the first time and nothing happened. At this point you gotta just let them do what they’re gonna do
Why yall gotta get all up in your parents business? Like the first time yes tell your dad but if he seems unfazed and like he couldn’t care less leave it be bc they probably have an arrangement that you don’t wanna know about. Yall need to stay in your lain and worry about your own business. As far as who pays what in their home if you ain’t paying it it ain’t your business stay the hell out of it.
P.s. women can have male friends that they don’t sleep with so maybe due to past trauma your assuming things and creating a problem where there is none!!
You know what sounds like the opposite of fun? Inserting yourself into someone else’s marital problems.
You need to just let your mom take her own course this is not your business
Don’t get involved. Not your business even if they are your parents.
I would definitely be pist. All the people saying mind your business m, well this is your business too!!! Anything that goes in with YOUR parents is your business. I would say something to your dad, and if I was in the same boat I would too. If they have an open relationship that’s one thing, but if your dad does not know about it, then definitely tell… I wish someone would have told me my husband was cheating…
all those saying not ur business…show respect weather it’s right or wrong In the end the truth needs to been known…and respect people who hide secrets and lie like that dont deserve respect…respect is earned parent or not!
I would just leave it alone. There issues are between them and its best not to get involved. Your dad knows what’s going on, its up to them what they want to do. If you really want to take sides here I guess go for it but I’m sure it will cause you lots of drama.
Well it sounds like your dad is aware of the situation, so isn’t it his choice if he wants to stay or leave? I think you should stay out of it unless your Dad is totally in the dark about the infidelity… even then, if you want to tell him, tell him and leave it alone.
Its up to them what they do next.
You are disgusted about what exactly? That a grown ass woman is living her life? You better use your youthfulness for important things and leave Ma alone!
Not to already make you mad but she might have done this before
Since when your sister told your dad he didn’t take any action
I feel they have to figure it out
Sorry this is so upsetting to you
If they aren’t being intimate, your mom has no desires in the marriage or even being with your dad, why does it matter if she is interested in someone else? Just because you’re married doesn’t mean you’re together.
Theres also a possibly that your dad did something to your mum, and being a good mother she carries it inside her and never exposed your dad. Possibly never forgave him and your dad got no moral right to question her because he knows it all and how it happened, and thats why he wont ask her. We all need alittle love.
Your mom deserves to be happy. If she wants a divorce then she needs to get one.
You are the child she is the adult in this situation stat out of it
She’s an adult, the marriage sounds like it’s not a great one. Many married people cohabitate and see other people. Maybe your dad knows and doesn’t care 
her kids are raised, let her live her adult life and stay out of it. Maybe both of your parents are seeing other people, it happens. Maybe they will tell you when they are ready.
Everyone’s marriage is their own business back out now
Concentrate on the relationship between you and your mom. And you and your dad. Don’t get involved with their relationship. Your mom and dad are adults and can deal with their own problems. These are problems they have and has nothing to do with you. You’ve already told your Dad, so it’s now in his hands on what he wants to do with that information.
It’s not your relationship. Your dad is aware and is continuing to stay. I would def distance yourself just so the drama doesn’t involve you at all. Maybe this is just their relationship and they haven’t broadcast it previously. I’m sorry though that you found out your mom isn’t a great spouse and makes questionable decisions and lies.
Maybe dad knows. Maybe they are already separated but are still living together for you guys. Sometimes things don’t work out. I would just let them figure it all out. Stay out of it. U can’t force them if it’s just not there anymore. Let ur mom find her happiness and ur dad will find his. Be happy for them at the end. Good luck 
He doesn’t seem to care so maybe he’s doing the same.
Found out a few years ago that my mom was apparently the town whore.
So completely disgusted. But it doesn’t really matter much since I cut her out of my life after the last horrible thing she did to me. Camel, meet last straw…
Stay in a child’s place.
Your mom is a narcissistic abuser. What she did to your sister is mental abuse. You need to talk to your dad and he needs to get you out of this environment. It will be hard for your dad to get over this, but eventually he will. In the end you will all be better off away from her.
I feel like you sisters have done what you can. Your dad doesn’t seem to care as much as you do about it. If you want to distance yourself because she is toxic, go for it. It’s a tough spot to be in but you can’t make their relationship better.
Have you thought maybe they have an open relationship and just don’t tell you? 
You are their child and you need to stay out of it. Their marriage is between them. They may have an open marriage and they don’t want you to know . It’s not your place.
Let it go. She’s entitled to a life.
Not your pasture, not your 
Mind your business.
The part i dont like is that she did it in front of your sister that shows alot of disrespect in my opinion
It’s understandable to not want to be one of the monkeys in the circus, y’all had zero responsibility to hide your mothers secrets and extramarital affairs. Telling was perfectly acceptable! However, now you’re just involving yourself further and working yourself up. Your dad knows, your mom is still your mom, imperfections and all.
I’m not saying turn a blind eye, call out a blatant lie if it appears but driving to bars to double check her whereabouts? You’re just upsetting yourself by making their marriage your responsibility, it’s not! You can’t save them. They have to want it, and it doesn’t sound like they do. Your mom spoke her truth, might’ve been tough to hear and she didn’t go about it the right way…but she does deserve to figure out what she wants and what makes her happy.
Your dad is either comfortable not stirring the pot or eventually he will do the same and stand up for himself. You can not agree, you can be disappointed, but you have to accept this isn’t your battle, and you don’t have all the details. Be their children 
not their wardens or marriage counselors. You can be honest and say you’re uncomfortable and will distant yourself from the nonsense but it’s not your job to punish your mom either.
Listen you dont know whats really going on behind closed doors maybe shes just sick of it and how shes been treated by your dad all these years. The fact that your father isnt doing squat about it means he must of done something to her numerous times and shes the only one who knows about it and shes had enough. You need to stay out of it its not your marriage and im not trying to be mean and its not your business. Did it ever occur to you that she went through alot with him b4 you were even around and now she just wants to have fun. Almost the same situation happened to me and he was cheating since my first child was in my belly and I didnt know it. Face it you dont know everything and you should be there for both parents she was there for you. Dont be so quick to judge. Stay out of it. Spend time with mom and dad separately. The fact that your dads not doing a thing about it only proves he did something and now shes doing it back and he can’t say shit. Maybe she waited all her life to finally have a life and your dad wont divorce her because he wants to always be taken care of. And your damb right he should pay he makes more money. She only gets one life after its gone its gone. Leave her alone let her be happy. And honor her shes your mother. And what the hell is this shit people ratting her out. Its not anyones business. Honestly its not. Sorry for being so blunt but really help her take her out spend time with her. You never take sides against your family. If that was me and someone of my kids ratted me out i would NEVER speak to them again on top of slapping the shit out of them again thats your mom. Omg I cant believe that you guyd are ratting out your mom and calling everywhere to check on her. Years after my kids were older i started having a relationship with someone else and my husband didnt want to leave he wanted to pretend to the world everything was great and my neice saw me and my man at a motel and called my husband ill never forgive her till this day. I should have beaten the crap out of her. But i had already told my children the truth and that I was going to see whoever i wanted. I didnt have to tell the entire world and even then i would never bring him around my kids and my husband acted like he was all hurt. He was embarrassed but guess what I was too all my marriage with him everybody knowing except me. I kicked his stupid ass out. Dont go against your Mom shes your damb Mom instead ask her why shes doing this maybe they dont have sex and she doesn’t want to live without sex or affection. Do you want to live the rest of your life without sex or affection. I dont think so. This hits close to home for me but funny how noone blames him for all the cheating he did and everyone knew.
She had to go out and find someone to treat her like she want to be treated, he probably do the same or have done it before, sometimes you have to do what makes you happy. Kudo’s to mom
Stay out of it. that’s what I would do.
Stay out of it! That will only cause more problems.
would you like it if your mum went through your phone? cut your mum some slack and get over it, its none of your buisness.
Let it go. Its their marriage not yours
It may seem hard to do but stay out of it
I think you should stay out of your parents marriage.
Talk to your mom and dad not Facebook.
I’ve been through this. Honestly stay out of it, or you’ll look like the bad guy!
You guys are all so friggen so rude
Stay out other’s marriage problems.
None of your business. You don’t truly know what happened behind closed doors as you were growing up. You don’t know what he has done to make your mom feel the way she does. You don’t know of your parents have an arrangement where they will do their own thing and not Involve each other but still live together.
Honestly it’s non of your business and if your dad is still allowing her to live in the house after he already knows she has cheated AND wants a divorce then maybe they did discuss something between each other which doesn’t involve you.
Instead of being a certain way towards your mom try talking to her and then have a family convey so everyone can be on the same page. That is if they want to involve you and your sister.
Not your business ! (After sentence one,
)
Mind your own business. Your dad knows already that she cheated…
Why do people meddle in stuff that isnt their business? Does it involve you? Do you have proof? Are you part of the relationship?
It’s none of your business as yourMom is over 21 - stay out of it
My mom had one affair on my dad and a few on my stepdad I was old enough to know what was going on but I kept my mouth shut like she told me to
So because you saw a guys name in her text you automatically assume she is cheating. I understand she cheated in the past but there was proof that time. Seeing a guys name is not proof and you are being very judgmental for jumping to conclusions over a name.
Children should stay out of their parents issues. It has nothing to do with you or your little sister!
Girl, while you may not agree with it, it’s not your business, it’s not your place. It’s their marriage. It’s their relationship. How they live is entirely up to them. You should stay out of it. Would your mom insert herself in your relationship? And yes they are your parents. It sounds like you are an adult yourself, so you live your life, they live their life.
And honestly if she wanted a divorce, she could go and file herself.
Trying minding your own business.
Maybe your dad never questioned it because he knows and doesn’t care or they have an arrangement. It’s not your place to get into it. But does she seem happier? That is all should matter
Don’t take sides, the r adults. U said they R not happy it time for both to do the right thing for all involved. Divorce
I’d fight my mom if she cheated on my dad, and then she would never be allowed to see her grandkids again… same for my dad. If she doesn’t love him she needs to kick rocks and if your dad was smart her ass would be sitting on a corner somewhere.
It’s funny to me that all these people saying mind your business but if it was your Dad having the affair they’d want you to throw him under the bus. Only you can decide what you’ll do.
Cheating is wrong no matter the sex that’s committing it. I don’t get how all of these people are excusing it.
God if I knew my mom was that way, I couldn’t just mind my own business - that shit rocks your world as a child no matter how old you are
I’m sorry girl!
don’t feel bad about not wanting to be around her, that is your right as a human to feel pissed that your mom is doing that.
Your mum and dads business. Maybe ur dad knows already. Besides your mum has asked for a divorce and your dad has refused. So maybe they already separated
Stay out of thier issues…u might think you know y ur mom is sleeping in a separate room only to find out u lacking the full information
I keep out of my mom’s relationship with her boyfriend I even saw him one time with some other guy but she knows he cheats all the time but wont do anything about it because he works and she doesn’t
Your mom is a grown woman you and your sister need to but out your mom needs to be happy too leave her alone your dad obviously don’t care and he is still there
Wow honestly the advice here is truly sexist tell your mumma own up or fuck off using her husband for financial gain while living in an unhappy marriage is one thing but lying to her husband and kids isn’t ok if she wants to live her own life she needs to pay her own way and live off her own back not use the comforts of marriage to get the best of both worlds
Honestly, if anything, you should back off. Your parents are adults and need to work this out on their own. You, nor your sister, need to be ragging on her. I know it’s probably upsetting, but in reality, meddling won’t change anything. I realize we grow up seeing our parents in a certain light, and, when that changes, it can be hard to see past it. They’re HUMAN. Dont forget that
Pray for them… May God guide u and comfort you. Hugsss
You should really try to stay out of it. It’s between your mom and dad and will only cause bad feelings.
In my experience Stay out of it. it may be messier than you think Your feelings are very valid, & normal, but take a seat.
He will do whats right for him in his own time…
Good Luck…
MIND YOUR MF BUSINESS. Your mother is grown. Find yourself something to do. In the words of the older generation “stay in a child’s place”
You can ask your mom and dad separately why they don’t just get a divorce. Is it more financially advantageous to stay married and live separate lives? Maybe since they’d each have to downsize their homes it’s easier to just live as housemates and stay in a nicer place, even if they have to share it.
See what each has to say, tell them how you feel about the situation once, and then drop it. Wish them both happiness and live your life.
It might be easier to visit with your parents separately, especially with your kids in tow. Stress to your mom that while she’s free to have a boyfriend, to leave him out of your and your children’s’ lives until he becomes a permanent member of the family. Having an affair is not role model material so ask her to keep the relationship under wraps as much as possible.
I’m sorry. This has got to be rough, maddening and perplexing. Sending comfort and positive vibes your way. 
I agree with Melanie Smith and until you have walked a mile in your parents shoes please don’t judge, l am sure both your parents have done things neither of them are proud off, and heaps of things you would not know about…
Really all you can do is tell your mom how you feel about the situation. Something like " mom, I know your not happy in your marriage and it hurts me to watch dad try to hold on to something that’s not there. Whatever it is that you’re doing when you’re not at home I don’t want to know about it because it’s your business. You are allowed to seek out your own happiness just like everyone else but please don’t keep dad on a string while you do so." I love you both very much and I won’t ever choose one side over the other. I just want both of you to be happy. This way you’re not accusing her of cheating, you’re acknowledging that she has a right to be happy and you’re not choosing sides.
Also, how do you know your dad doesn’t have a side piece too? Maybe why he seems to be OK with the situation.
I know this is hard to understand but some marriages don’t care of the other person is out playing the game. Your just going to have to swallow your feelings and move on. I’m sorry but they are grown. Your fathers knows what’s going on and if he doesn’t he’s ignoring it purposely.
When I was a teenager, I found a condom in my dad’s pocket while doing laundry. My mom’s tubes were tied. I was pissed at my dad, but it was still none of my business. And I didn’t say anything to either of them.
It’s none of your business, either. Nor are their finances.
This is sad
She is a grown ass woman
Your mom has been unhappy for a long time
Already stepped out once AND ASKED FOR A DIVORCE
At this point your parents are separated/estranged
They are no longer in a relationship other than on paper
Ur father didn’t contribute to ur mother acting this way ? Only ur mother being this way ? Honey get out of their marriage it’s not ur business
Stay out of their business, let them handle it. lt will get handled!
Mind ya bidness is my advice. I wish my child WOULD meddle in my marriage let alone snoop through my phone while creating an extravagant story as to why you HAD to use HER phone. Puhleese
All you who say not to call people’s bullshit out are the reason we have so many assholes running around these days. CALL HER SHIT OUT. TELL YOUR DAD. These females who obviously don’t care if their partner runs off or whatever aren’t shit telling you to mind your own. That’s your father. Protect him likes he’s protected you. Your mom is unfaithful and a liar and she doesn’t deserve the free meal ticket anymore. PERIOD
Let them take care of this love them both they are your parents
Stay out of it… they need to figure it out for themselves…
Mind ur business …, because thier marriage is thiers not yours. You may have come from said union … However it is NOT your place. Your dad is not stupid and your mom has checked out. They have to deal with thier issues
Mind your own business cause you really don’t know what brought them to this point and what goes on between them. Never judge cause you don’t know what will happen in your life down the road. Do you want your kids to judge you?
Stay out of your mom’s business:woman_facepalming:t4:
Their marriage their choice.
MIND YOUR BUSINESS! And shame on you for taking a side when you DON’T know the whole story! She birthed you not the other way around! You’re not entitled to know her/their business!
So very ssad when this happens. It affects kids if they are involved.
None of your business…plain n simple…
Mind ur business.
MIND UR BUSINESS… AND ANOTHER THING… MIND UR BUSINESSSSSSSSS!!!
Mind your business. I’m sorry but I don’t feel that you have a right to go through your moms phone. If she is cheating that will be for your dad to determine and make a decision.
Your parents are grown ass adults. Stay the hell out of their business. Simple!
Seriously? Mind your own business. They are adults. Their marriage, finances, and issues are their concern. Unless they are beating on each other, step aside.
By the way, posting their business on social media isn’t going to improve a thing.
It is not your business to choose sides and be judgemental but it is your business to be there for both of them!
Your mum sounds very unhappy. Talk to her and even try to help her. If your parents separate it’s not the end of the world. Everyone deserves to be happy. Parents are people too! Don’t judge her as she sounds so depressed. They both do! Why would you want to see your parents live like that for the rest of their lives? Help her. Tell her you have noticed things and it’s ok. Ask her how she feels and then deal with it as a family!
So either turn a blind eye and say nothing or be supportive and help her, help him and don’t judge them as they are your parents.
Lastly respect boundaries. It’s your mothers phone. She doesn’t have to give you her password