Goodness. Stay out. It’s none of your business. Love your Mum through all her mess coz God knows she’s loved you since birth
It’s none of your business. Your parents are grown. Stay out of it
Is everyone forgetting about the mom sleeping with another guy Infront of the sister? Is the sister able to live with you? It sounds like mom is spiraling and running the town and the younger daughter is being left at home alot which idk how any feels about a neglected minor I’m not sure how old the sister is… its hard to stay out if mom isn’t coming home even at home very much I need more info because it’s hard to say
Stay out of her business?!
I am so sorry. That would make me really upset too. It sounds like your Dad probably already knows, because with your sister’s call and all, I’m sure he figured out the rest. Be there for your Dad and your sister because both of them might be hurting right now. Nothing you say is going to change your Mom’s behavior. If you feel too upset to be around her, then avoid her for a while. If she asks why you all haven’t spent time together, then that would be the time to tell her how you feel, if you want to (but realize she may launch into a tirade about how it’s not any of your business and all). You’re an adult daughter worried about her Dad and sister, and how they’re doing emotionally IS your business, even though the ins and outs of your parents’ relationship may not be. So that’s how I’d suggest responding to her if she says that. She’ll probably say ‘there is a lot you don’t know’ - and I’m sure there is - but nothing justifies her hurting her own daughters by her conduct, by letting you all see her secretly cheating on your Dad that you love. If she starts saying negative things about your Dad, just realize that some cheating wives tell themselves lies and invent whole fictional narratives about what bad husbands they have, just to alleviate their own guilt about cheating. So take what she says to you about your Dad with a grain of salt. And hang in there <3
I’d tell your father and live with him
If you are picking up on it chances are so is your Dad. Don’t put yourself in the middle. They are consenting adults choosing how to live their lives.
You should always be able talk to your parents about how you feel though. Talk to your mom privately and honestly. It’s UNDERSTANDABLE that you don’t know how to process this and asking on an ANONYMOUS page is commendable vs getting lots of direct family and friends involved.
Honestly, mind your own business, you’re not the parent and they will figure it out on their own.
Surprised by all the people saying mind your own business. It’s her family and her Mum is involving her little sister it does involve her. They need to talk and sort it out instead of carrying on the way she is. Best of luck
As bad as this feels, stay out of it. There is a metric ton that you do not know because you are not either of them.
You are no longer a child with kids of your own. More than likely. Moms been unhappy for years and stayed due to kids. For the kid(s). So their. marriage is not your business to this extent at your age. Judge away what she is doing may be very wrong to your dad. But he clearly is settling for it. It may not be right to your dad believe me. But he must love her enough to stay hoping she will come around or for companionship unable to move on. Whatever it is. Tell her you feel for your father and dont wanna see him hurting. But leave it at that. Clearly she is unhappy in her marriage but only THEY can manage it.
Tell each parent how you feel because your feelings do matter but please remember that it’s is your parents choice and business as far as their relationship goes. Often times it is one sided but either way if someone doesn’t want to be with someone then it shouldn’t be forced. That will only make things worse in the long run.
That’s between them!
They should get divorced.leave them to it
Definitely between them. Maybe he knows. Maybe they have an agreement. Maybe they have emotionally separated and not told their children. So many maybes. In the end it’s their marriage and for them only to sort out.
You don’t know what’s going on in their private lives to make your mom do what she is doing. Your dad will find out on his own. Stay out of it.
I would tell your father and convince him to leave her
I’m sure your dad knows. If it doesn’t bother him, it shouldn’t bother you.
- Your dad knows your mom is cheating and obviously doesn’t care.
- Your mom said she wanted a divorce. It never happened. Maybe because your dad is not ready to let her go yet. Who knows.
- In MY opinion. It’s time for you and your sister to mind y’all business. Y’all have to let THEM figure out what they’re going to do. I mean think about it. Would you want people interfering in your relationship?
You are not a child or your parent’s are grown people. It is between two grown adults. Do your parents talk about their sex life with you and your sister? Do you honestly think your father doesn’t know.
Leave them to sort out their life.
As they maybe living it just how they want. Your mother’s relationship with your father is just that. Theirs…
My only question would be, for how many years have, you and your sister been coming to save your Dad. The dynamics of the family unit seem unbalanced.
Has your mother always been on the outside of the family dynamics.
If so this maybe the real cause of your mother’s un happiness.
No happy woman runs out and looks for another relationship.
Maybe instead on focusing on your perants relationship look towards your intimate relationship with your mother. This is something that you will need to face in your life as when you get to middle age this kind unsolved issues with your mother will come to the forefront.
If your parents are that unhappy,
Love, Compassion and Care works better at healing.
Lead the way not follow poor leadership..
Just stay in your lane!
Stay out of their marriage and mind your business! You have no clue to what happens behind closed doors.
You have EVERY RIGHT TO FEEL THE WAY YOU DO!!! If your mom of unhappy, I get it! It Happens!! But she needs to leave and file for divorce!!! She should NOT be seeing anyone until she’s divorced and have her kids understand what’s happening in the family and that you will still be loved the same! Nothing changes there! But having an afraid is NOT OK!! And I would address that with her and leave it at that! And it’s up to her to make her family understand WHY she chose to do that and NOT HER A DIVORCE FIRST!! but you and your sibling!!
Let them work it out. It’s not your place.
Most people don’t but have a be bond with your parents on both sides I had a never ending bond with both of my parents I have them no longer with me rip to both of them but do not take sides you get to know your mother a little more let her tell you about her teen life make better conversations with her and let her get closer to were she will open up eventually
Your mom is a grown up and her and your dad’s relationship is their business they day you kids grew up and moved out of the house what happens between them personally ahouldnt really be your concern im sure your father is an intelligent man im sure he knows whats going on and maybe they have some arrangements that you are unaware of as long as shes not flaunting it in your face which is sounds like she isnt id leave it alone
He needs to stop paying for everything for her. She is clearly taking advantage of him and your dad needs to divorce her or she will continue taking advantage of him.
I’m sorry to say I think they should get a divorce. Sounds like your mother is trying to have her cake and eat it too
Those are his parents, it is his business.
Say what you have to say to them and let them figure out the rest.
BTW you might wanna check some of these peoples advice because they probably low key condone cheating and/or are doing it theirselves, or at least did.
Try not to get too involved. I know it is hard but if you make them separate you will never forgive yourself. My parents were always fighting. My mum said such mean things to my dad who worked 2 jobs to care for us kids. They would fight constantly and it was awful. I would tell my dad he should leave and one day he did.
He married an absolute mole who treated him worse. He is separated from her now but lives in a nursing home. She has remarried x2 and is also not happy but will never be. At least if they make their own decisions you wont blame yourself. Good luck.
Unfortunately, it’s your father’s move. If he’s OK with her cheating, then that’s it
Tell the cheating hoe to go to hell
Mind your damn business
You start off with dad wants a divorce and mom doesn’t. Mom is using dad and his dumb, weak ass is allowing it. And you’re concerned about her “cheating”??? Honey (and I mean that in the most demeaning, southern way possible), he’s not cheating. Marriage license aside, your mom and dad aren’t together.
#1) its not her problem or her place? I beg to differ…affairs hurt not only the one being cheated on…ITS HURTING THE WHOLE FAMILY. YES …maybe it is out of her control but this stuff can seriously cause kids to resent and have very confused and hurt, emotional stress. I am so sorry to her and her siblings that have to sit back and watch the shit show and feel the sadness they are feeling. Hugs to them.
Let them live there lives i know it’s hard but will be even harder to confront them. Say a prayer for them and live you and sister live your lives.
Ahem.
Mind your business and tell your sister to do the same. Its not your marriage. Butt OUT.
I’m so sorry you’re going through this.
man, tell them how you feel. parents don’t always know what’s best, they just do what they know best. It’s affecting your relationship with your parents. that’s the relationship you need to discuss.
You should not judge you’re mom or Dad. Love them for what they are and have been to you mind you’re own busness, and stay out of their marrage
I think you should talk to them. My opinion, which we obviously have one or we wouldn’t be on here…I wouldn’t want to see my parents living that way, hurting each other… I also wouldn’t want my kid to feel some type of way towards me. If they felt some way, I would want them to talk about it. Not all household relationships are that way, I get that. But, youre not gonna feel better unless you get it off your chest.
As someone who’s mom cheated, and actively involved me in it as a teenager, DON’T GET INVOLVED. If you want to just kinda lay it out for your dad, say your piece and then leave it alone. Their relationship isn’t yours to solve, and the more you try the more miserable you will be. If you need to distance yourself then so be it.
Clearly they are not in a relationship if they sleep in separate rooms and are not affectionate towards each other! They both are grown adults u should probably just tell them how u feel even though it’s upto them to change
You need to MYOB. Sounds like they have some kind of understanding.
Sounds like my situation except we were young when it all went down. I wish I could of had my dad’s back but at the time I just didnt know any better. Dads for the win.
Stay out of your parents marriage.
Support your dad as much as you can emotionally … let him know that it’s ok if they split up and he deserves better
Its really not your business
Stay out of it. Their marriage has nothing to do with you
Been there done that with my parents for most of my 18yrs plus after I married and had kids! STAY OUT OF IT!! YOU DO YOU LET THEM DO THEM! IT WILL NEVER BE GOOD FOR YOU JUST LIKE NOW YOU ARE UPSET WITH YOUR MOM! ITS NOT WORTH IT!!
Ya I would probably just stay out of it they are grown they have to figure it out.
Stay out of it. It’s their business and not yours. Harsh I know, and I know you care so much, but it isn’t like he wouldn’t know. There are 2 sides to every story. Obviously she feels something lacking and needs more. End of the day this isn’t for you to judge or be concerned with.
Probably best to stay out of it. You don’t want it to become a situation where they both decide to turn on you because you upset the apple cart.
It’s none of your business. You’re grown. Love them both.
Confront your mother and let her know that what she is doing is not correct and disrespectful to your father but also to her children, she isn’t 18 she is grown with kids that are seeing her act like a child and committing a sin! Your family doesn’t deserve for her to pretend she isn’t still married and if she wants to act this way to fully go through with the divorce it may hurt your dad but maybe he will then realize? I’m sorry you are going through this but I’m sure her being sneaky and betraying you all by lying is even more maddening then anything else…
As for all these people telling you to mind your own business, I’m sure they wouldn’t be if the same thing was going on with them!
Good luck to you all
My business or not, I’d feel some type of way too.
When my grandpa left my grandma for the other woman I was pissed. It was over 5 years ago and our relationship still isn’t the same. Never will be.
Forget these people telling you to mind your own business for the sake of your relationship with your mom. You’re allowed to feel how you do about it. Cheating is a SHITTY thing to do to someone and you don’t owe your mom your approval of it.
Yes my son his wife cheated 2 yr. finally one day she not just left my son but walked out on al 4 kids
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Not your marriage, not your problem. It’s gotta suck knowing what’s going on but you have to choose to let it go.
As divorces affect the children, too. I would have a talk with your mom and tell her if she is truly unhappy then she just needs to file for a divorce because she is making everyone else unhappy along with her. She’s going to make your dad feel like he isn’t good enough for her. She needs to be an adult.
Even if op is an adult, this affects them sooo much! Divorce is hard on everyone involved, even harder when you KNOW why the divorce happened in the first place.
As someone who has been shoved in between my parents severe fights & insane amount of ups & downs , from the littlest things all the way to one or both of them cheating on the other since I was little… please stay out of it while you can . It is going to be extremely difficult to deal with & being very upset with which ever is the one cheating . It will never end good either way you look at it but it will make it worse on your mental health if you try to put yourself in the middle . I really hope things getting better for you & your family💜
It’s their marriage… mind your own business.
Stay out of your parents’ marriage. You don’t have to like what they’re doing but it’s not your marriage. Clearly this works for them, otherwise they would divorce.
I will definitely talk to my Mother and Father about the issue. Just one time. And after that who knows what will they do after they know that it bothers you. It’s either you become a bystander or someone who will interfere. Be ready with the consequences. We have different views within our family ( Asian ) but as a daughter if it affects you in a bad way the parents should step up. But it is not a bad thing if the Children will step up. That’s the reality. But it is up to you. Out of respect most of the comments here said you shouldn’t interfere. But in your case if you don’t want to suffer anymore (mentally , obviously) talk with them. Just be wary of the consequences.
Did you ask her if she’s cheating again? Tell her she needs to divorce your dad if she wants to continue having affairs, it’s not fair to him.
Best thing to do is set a side being a daughter , be a friend , tell your mom if she’s unhappy then go be happy , but do it properly , and stop hurting people . It’s okay to fail at marriage , it’s not okay to show children a dysfunctional family lifestyle.
Sounds like your dad knows how she is. I’d stay out of it and let them deal with it (or not) amongst themselves.
What proved do you have that she is cheating on your dad, plus is her marriage not yours, you are being noisy here.
Your dad knows if he chooses not to do anything about it then that’s on him.
You should stay out of it. Love both your parents. Shield your children from the drama, mind your business. And tend to your own family.
Confront your mom, if you let it go the resentment will fester and cause problems. Tell her to come clean with your dad and then step back and let them handle it.
I would have a chat with your mum but i wouldnt talk to your dad as from what your saying i would say he already knows
None of your business. Other then to support your mom
If your dad choose not to leave when he first found out your mum cheated then that is his decision you don’t know what goes on behind closed doors, and you prob won’t as you are their child and they won’t want you know the true light of the relationship they have. So what I’d be more do sitting then down tell them you love them and you don’t like to see them in this situation and that maybe they shouldn’t be together. But you find they older they get even though they are not happy, the thought of being alone can seem more daunting so likely to just take stuff on the chin…but don’t let it effect your relationship with them, it’s hard but it’s prob more harder for them x
I would honestly sit both Adults down and tell them your not happy with the situation, both of their actions are affecting you and your sister and it’s not fair to anyone.
I would say something like “mum if you want to be a whore and dad if you want to be a doormat that’s fine, but not in front of me or my sister. Sort your shit out!”
Honestly not an easy situation for anyone but you dont have to be in the middle, goodluck x
I’d say if you’re an adult it unfortunately isn’t any of your business, talk to your mum about your suspicions and tell her it’s putting a strain on your relationship with her but it’s absolutely not your place to be handing out ultimatums. If your dad doesn’t want to leave tell him to respectfully leave you out of any conflict to do with your mum. They’re unfortunately gonna do what they’re gonna do. All you can do is set boundaries for yourself.
I’d tell both your parents how you feel in reality it seems that they both although unhappy have accepted their relationship the way it is and that’s how it is if either one of them wanted to change they would you shouldn’t let it affect your life or relationships with your parents as their relationship is none of your business you shouldn’t let it affect you as it’s their desion to live that way you can’t tell them how you would like them to sort it out your making their relationship affect your life just don’t
Just remember it’s a them problem not a your problem, leave them too it.
Sounds like your mum and dad have been separated for a long time and thats why he doesn’t question it.
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum! I think my mom may be cheating on my dad: Advice?
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum! I think my mom may be cheating on my dad: Advice?
Thats 2 grown peoples business. They may have an arrangement. You have no idea. Talk to your mom if you feel that serious about it. But its your parents relationship. And relationships don’t always work. Sometimes they stay together till the kids are grown and have moved on. This may be that.
I understand you are disappointed in your mom, that must be really hard. But they are adults and their marriage is their business. If anything, you should talk to your mom and let her know how your feeling- but you can’t control what goes on in their marriage
Know you place and that it isn’t in your parents marriage. Your dad also seems to know what’s going on and chooses to ignore it. So you should too. They’re adults and can live how they want to.
My dad did this to my mom I broke up their marriage when I was 12. I called my mom telling her because they were supposed to be working things out. I told her I’d never forgive her if she stayed (he had been doing this for a long time and they were deciding weather to divorce or work it out) it killed me… my mom… my dad hated me for years. I had actual proof tho like the chick was there in my house with my dad in his room. I would have never done this just because I thought it’s what was happening. They have been divorced almost 10 years. They are both happier. My dad and I have a relationship again but sometimes I can see it in his face… he will never forget what I did but he can take it to his grave because my mom deserved better.
People cheat for a multitude of reasons. I’ve been there. It’s not something I am proud of. But something I understand. They are staying together for a reason. Let them sort it out. I can understand the disappointment. But relationships for a lifetime are difficult and sometimes can’t be understood until you walk a mile in their shoes. Best of luck!
You need to be upfront with her and let her know you are not okay with her for these reasons. But ultimately this is an issue between her and your dad and at the end of the day it’s none of your business. They are 2 adults and if this is the way they choose to live that’s on them.
My advice is to distance yourself from her. It’s okay to isolate yourself from people who are causing harm to you and people you love. Cheating hurts not only the couple involved but also the entire family. You’re right to be mad but it’s not your fight. Take care of yourself, your dad and little sister. It’s up to your father and mother to deal with.
Ummmm Excuse me, KNOW YOUR PLACE and its not in the middle of your PARENTS Private relationship! Whatever is going on in THIER MARRIAGE IS NONE OF YOUR DAMN BUSINESS!
Stay out of their relationship. You don’t know what’s going on. You can politely ask about what’s going on, and support both of them.
These people defending the mother the dad is still supporting her, paying all the bills, buying things for her, and she has the nerve to risk emotional harm to her whole family for selfish reasons. When it’s your parents, and your grown enough to know what’s going on, it absolutely is your business. BUT I agree with some that say distance yourself from her. Her actions should not go without consequence. As we age we see that our parents are normal people with good and bad parts but sometimes the bad that they do is not excusable just because they birthed and raised us. Probably an unpopular opinion but idc.
At this point I think the best advice to give you is find a professional to process your feelings with. What they decide to do or continue in their marriage has effects on their children that aren’t being taken into account but marriage is tricky that way. The best thing to do is see a therapist, be honest about everything you’re feeling, and process it in a way that supports you. They will figure out how this plays out and in the end you need to make sure you’re taking care of your mental well being.
Don’t let someone hurt or disrespect either of your parents in any way, shape or form. Even if it’s your other parent. If someone is hurting one of your parents, it IS your business! But be kind always.
Seems like it’s 3 against 1. Your sis, your dad, and you against mom. Smh, stop ganging up on her. You already admitted y’all have an attitude towards her, why? She’s still your mom regardless of what she’s done. If you’re dad knows and chooses to stay then respect that.
Not your relationship, not your problem. Does it make it right? No but doesn’t give you and your sister a right to be rude as well.
You need to stay in your own lane, which is NOT in your parents marriage. They need to deal with it. You want to be upset with her for her choices, fine but don’t fight your fathers fight that he doesn’t even seem to care to fight. End of the day, she’s still your mother.
I was in this situation 30 years ago. Long story short, stay out of their marriage. You have no idea what is going on between them. Be there and love both of them. Mind your own neck.
That sounds difficult… But if they have no kids still living at home, I’d really completely leave it being between them.
If your sister lives at home, I’d only make sure she was okay. I still wouldn’t meddle in the marriage.
Your dad knows. It’s possible they’re together for any number of reasons. It’s possible they have an open marriage and don’t want to share that with their kids.
If you previously had a good relationship with your mom, don’t let this ruin it. I wouldn’t judge her based off of this alone.
I think you should mind your own business. Meddling in marriages doesn’t mean well for anyone, even if it is your parents.
That’s between her and your dad. Not you and your sister. Give them some space! You don’t know what goes on behind closed doors and you really shouldn’t butt into someone else’s lives and then let what’s going on in their worlds effect how you see them. They are aloud to have a life outside of what you and your sister see/know, just as you have. You sound like you are going above and beyond just to find dirt. If you don’t want mom around man up and cut ties, don’t try destroy other people’s relationships with her too.
At the end of it, if you see it so does your father. Let him deal how he wants to and be there if/when he needs you. Live YOUR life🙂