Mother did the same thing. But they lived together til she died and dad died two years later. They loved each other though both were unhappy. It there life
I think your moms personal sexual life is none of your business. You don’t know everything going on in your parents life and shouldn’t judge or meddle.
Distance yourself and mind your business. Things will get messy and messy FAST!!! I know you love your parents and would hate to see either one hurt but it’s there relationship they have to figure it out themselves. Plus if and when your father finds out that’s the bed your mother made and that’s the bed she will lay in whether she is ok with that or not….
Yes I was 14 when my dad had an affair infront of me and my sister…I told my mum…and they had a big argument…but my mum neva left my dad…and I was kicked back to my grandparents house…as long as u tell ur dad the truth its up to him what he does with it …sometimes it hurts more leaving than staying…just saying…
Unfortunately this is one of those things that Has to stay between your parents, as much as you want to help your dad not get hurt, it’s ultimately between him and your mom. If he wants things to change and he’s truly unhappy, he can always leave or kick her out of the house and file for divorce. I also understand that cheating is wrong, if you aren’t happy just leave cheating does more damage to the other person than leaving does., But unfortunately as their child do you getting in the middle of it will make things worseAnd put the added stress on you and into your life and your family. I won’t be as rude and aggressive at some of the women on this post are, but just let your dad know that you’re there for him and you have his back, and should he choose to leave you will be there to support him. As for your mom if you really can’t handle what she’s doing, just keep your self distance from her.
I know it’s really hard to understand honey but I don’t think that’s something that you should be getting involved in. If you’d like to be mad at your mother then that’s your prerogative and you have that right. However I’m quite sure your mother and your father don’t discuss all of their personal business with you and for all you know maybe your father is okay with her seeing other people maybe they come to that arrangement, or maybe they’re swingers that’s not so unheard-of nowadays. If your mother and father are already having marital issues (which isn’t clear that they are) it only makes it harder for children to insert themselves into adult affairs. Am I saying your mother’s right heck no am I saying your father’s right check know what I’m saying is it’s not any of your business
It sounds like you are struggling with how to feel about someone that you have trusted and loved for many years doing something you do not approve of morally. If you look at it that way, it makes it a little more difficult to be mad at her. I may get yelled at for this but hear me out. Your relationship with your mother will always be affected by the way you view her choices. If she stealing money from her job, or abusing your father you would obviously be mad at her and want to defend him, however, as an outsider looking in, you do not know the whole situation. Your relationship with your mother should be separate from your parents marriage. I would tell your mother that you do not approve of her infidelity but she will always be your mother and you still love her. She may just tell you her side of the story and your perspective may change. As humans, we think our parents are perfect until we realize they are humans also and make mistakes. You have to figure out whether it is more important to have a relationship with your mother and forgive her for the effect her infidelity has had on you and your children or allow her actions to destroy your relationship. Be honest with her and yourself.
It sounds like they’re not together… just living in the same home… if things were different at home, I’d tell your dad… like if they were all lovey dovey and then she was also going behind his back.
It’s not your relationship, let them work it out themselves & worry about your relationship with them as individuals & not as their counselor. There are probably many things that have happened that you don’t know about & you can’t be mad that she isn’t happy. You can’t just wake up & be happy so try be more understanding if you’re gonna be all in the business. just my opinion.
Honestly I know it hurts to see this happening. However it isn’t your business. You said your dad knows and hasn’t acted publicly. That means they are dealing with it privately. I would NOT make a big family scene over it. It is a private matter. Maybe talk to them just you and them and let them know how it’s effecting the children (sounds like you are all grown?) And distance yourself from the drama.
Stay out of your parents’marriage but do give more support to your dad. Sayang him often. Ask him out, treat him meals, spend time with him together with your sister and kids. Let him know that you both have his back and support him no matter what.
Let your mom live her own life!!! Their marriage is dead, they both are obviously not happy and it’s really none of your business!
She is a grown woman who wants out of her marriage and said so. How about give her resources for that? Sounds like you ate the issue not her
Honestly, it seems that your parents are separated. They’re still married but they sleep in separate rooms and they aren’t intimate. You don’t really know what arrangement or agreement your parents may have. I would just mind my own business. It’s not your job to make sure their marriage is what it’s supposed to be.
I understand that as the children it can be heartbreaking and devastating. With that being said, your mom is a grown woman and is capable of handling her business on her own. It isn’t your job to police her or even judge her. You don’t know what truly goes on between your parents and quite honestly, it isn’t really your business. If your dad wanted to end the marriage he would. Some people are happy with what they have regardless of the situation that you see. For all you know, they have an open marriage and dad has a girlfriend on the side. Either way, it isn’t your job to be policing them and he phone sure as heck isn’t your business either!
Honestly your mom and dad are grown adults and that is their buisness I was raised to stay out of grown folks buisness and my kids are told the same thing.
I think mind your own business. They are adults and dont need you their prying all the time. Just chill out.
My ma woulda whooped my ass being in their grown folk bidness
Stay out of it flat out. It’s none of your business.
It sounds like your dad already knows and maybe they have agreed to stay living together and see other people but just didn’t want you guys to know? Some people are happy to live this way so id Leave it between them. You dont know whats happened between them over the years so just Be there for both of them both and stay out of it
Not trying to sound mean or anything but I think you and your sister need to stay out of your mom and dad’s business…they are adults, let them handle it. If you want to distance yourself from your mother over the choices she makes then that’s perfectly fine…maybe it will make get reconsider what she is doing…but you can’t force people to change or live a certain way just because u see it to be fit. Praying things work out for your family.
You’re a grown woman and whatever happens in their relationship now is none of your business and doesn’t “affect” you at all
My worthless 2cents. Your dad is aware of who she is. They are grown ass adults. Youre a grown ass adult. Stay out of it and let them handle their relationship how they want.
That’s your parents business not your. Work on your relationship because you have too much time on your hand is theirs
Just because you’ve got part of a story doesn’t mean you know everything that has gone on. When you grow up, maybe you’ll understand that
If he didn’t say anything maybe he already knows and it’s an agreement and they are keeping it from you… you being her child is all you need to focus on… your going to ruin your relationship trying to keep tabs on her… that’s not your place… stop trying to be in her phone it’s called privacy and you obviously are not respecting it…
No never had this happen with my parents. I wish my mom would had just left her husband I don’t refer to the man as father. Any hoot. Both of your parents are so unhappy and your mom is cheating. Your dad needs to step up and just file for a divorce. Period
Sounds like you should mind your business! Everyone getting involved is going to make it a family issue when it should be between your parents.
It’s time for dad to leave and be happy as well. They both deserve happiness but mom is going about it the wrong way.
So as much as I believe in not getting involved in a parents marriage, I also believe in your own mental health coming first. I would do what you’re comfortable with with her but not go out of your way to be around her like you used to. I would talk less and visit less. Keep civil. If she is smart she will catch on and ask why you’re so distant. Then you just be honest. Tell her you aren’t stupid, you know what she’s doing behind your father’s back. Regardless, even if she tries to justify her actions against him, cheating and disloyalty while still staying with your partner is never ok unless it’s an open marriage and he’s aware and fine with it. But tell her you aren’t ok with it, you aren’t comfortable with it. You don’t want to be around it because the more you are, the more involved you are, the more guilt and pressure it puts on you, and it’s not appropriate for a mother to put any child of hers through that. You love her, but because of her actions, you can just as well love her from a distance. She is still your mom, but you also need to put yourself first. As for your dad, i would maybe ask him about the time she had to tell him she cheated on him, ask him how he felt and what they agreed on, and go from there. Maybe don’t out your mom, but if he says they made up you need to tell your mom her behavior is just not ok and you don’t want to be involved. If he was fine with it, then just say ok and keep on keeping on like you know nothing I guess? Hard, hard position you’re in.
Stay out of it and keep your distance if you need to. You don’t have to like what she’s doing but it’s also not your job to fix it
I would stay out of it, dad may know and that text may be just a friend doesn’t prove she’s cheating. It’s between your parents don’t get in middle of it let them sort it out they are the adults period!
My ex-husband and son did that to me. My son apologized for it a few months after I left but it still hurts like hell
Some people have open relationships, some people choose not to tell thier children all the details! Your individual relationship with each parent is all that matters. Mom will tell you What she feels u need to know When she feels you need to know it.
Your dad already knows what’s going on even if he doesn’t say it. He doesn’t need y’all adding salt to the wound telling him every little thing. Your parents have split up they’re roommates at most. Leave them be it’s not your place.
Yikes, this sounds like one unhappy marriage. Better to end it.
Its really none of ur business. U seem grown up and all that matters is if they are good parents with u and ur sister. This is their concern and it sounds like ur dad doesnt care. He already knows. Thats why they sleep in separate rooms. Its a sad situation but its not ur situation. Just leave it alone and if it bothers u that much, why not talk to ur mom about it since shes lying to u. U already told ur dad.
My dad was having an affair and was even wearing a ring the other woman gave him. I found a bunch of naked photos of her on the computer we shared. Mom never acknowledged it and one day I told her, because I was so sick of my dad disrespecting her this way. She said nothing, and he kicked me out. My advice …stay out of it. It put a huge strain on an already bad situation. None of us ever got over it.
I say leave it be.
But if you NEED to say something say it to your mom and don’t attack her. Just… mom your behavior has me concerned…
But again… mostly I’d say step away from the marital issues of your parents.
The relationship you have with your mom/dad shouldn’t be effected by the relationship your parents have with each other…
How about a “family meeting?” Idk what else to say but all of you sit down and put it all out there and tell them your feelings and ask is this the life yall have to live with now? If your dad doesn’t divorce her knowing she has/is cheated/cheating, then you shouldn’t worry as much about it. It hurts, I get it. But, if he doesn’t make her leave then, just spend time as if nothing is wrong🤷♀️ you can only worry about you and your kids. You would be fighting a no win battle and alone if your Dad doesn’t fight with you. Like wasting your breath.
Wow, first of all whoever laughed at this is just rude. Secondly, you don’t have to stay out of this, this is your family. Be there for your family and call your mom out on this, she raised you not to lie, cheat and steal and she needs to be held to the same level. Hugs
I know u love both parents but there adults and have to figure out how to solve the problem on there on and just be there for both parents if they need someone to talk too and hope for the best that I will be resolved.if your moms that unhappy she should move toward separating from your dad to be sure that’s what she really wants maybe that will cause them to find there way back to each other or move forward to something new good luck
Stay out of your parents business and marriage. It doesn’t concern you.
I had an ex boyfriend whose dad had a girlfriend and his mom knew about it. You don’t know the intimate details of your parents relationship. Be careful
I think your mom is a grown ass woman & shouldn’t have her daughter all in her business. I understand that it’s affecting you, however, that is between your mom & dad.
Mind your own business. Your not the parent your the child. Clearly your parents have decided to stick it out. You should love both your parents. My parents were not angles. I loved them both. They loved me. That’s all that matters
Seems to me the dad knows and chooses to ignore it. It’s their marriage and their choice. If they wanted to divorce, they would divorce.
This is really hard on you and I understand how you feel and care about both your mom and dad… Best advice I would give is to stay away… please. Clearly your parents are done with one another but it will be up to them to divorce and all. I would just focus on yourself and your own children if you have any…or just your brothers and sisters.
Ever think you should mind your business? Maybe your dad already knows and they both just want you guys to stay out of it?
Yup. My mom has now married the guy and has nothing to do with me, my 2 brothers or any of our kids. Because “it’s her time now” as she told us.
Leave your mom up to her own antics. At the end of the day- you’re dad is still dad, mom is still mom. Not your marriage, it’s theirs
Stay out of it. What if your father is the type to kill your mother for cheating because he just came take it anymore leave it be it’s not your place
You sure your parents aren’t in an open relationship and they just don’t want to tell you about it?
Girl mind your business…. Let them handle their own mess however they see fit.
This exact thing happened to me when I was a teenager. The only difference was I answered the phone when the guy called my mom…it was devastating
I have not been in this situation but I agree with you it is absolutely disgusting and it’s disrespectful to you and your siblings ect I would absolutely let your father know what you saw AND how you feel about it and I’d also let your mom how you feel and that you are letting your dad know and probably tell them both how it’s affecting you and making you uncomfortable but unfortunately you can’t do much else but I can say I personally would not have a good relationship with either one if they are cheating or if the other person was allowing it
This happens to my husband bosses with the husband pretty much to the t but no physical evidence had come out until later once employees new what was going on things so just plane messed up he would force them to make up lies of where he was ect she caught him a short while after with a second phone he had been cheating for a few years his poor wife did not deserve the cards she was delt but they are separated now she’s very happy and moved on so I guess it can still have a positive outcome
Id call out my mother. And tell her make a choice and get a divorce don’t play my dad any longer
My mother would never do anything like this though lol
Why air family business on social media…this should be handled between your mom and dad
Stay out of it… love them separately for now. It’s their business and you guys as kids shouldn’t be getting involved it’s just going to drag you into it.
20 people to laugh at this post is actually so childish. The girl is obviously really hurting
Mind ya Business if your dad knows he’s getting cheated on and still will not give your mom a divorce that is something they need to work outz
I’m sorry they are your parents not your children also they are grown worry about your own relationships
Your parents are in separate bedrooms already. Mind your business and look out for your sister and your dad.
Leave it for them to sort out you don’t know what arrangement they have
I know this is an unpopular opinion but talk to your dad. He has the right to know and let him make the decision what he wants to do with his relationship.
Honestly I think all these people saying to mind your business are the same people who would get pissed if thier family knew thier spouse was having an affair and didn’t tell them. While you can’t decide for them to get a divorce you and your siblings can ensure not only to your dad that you have these concerns but I would confront your mother and tell her that you don’t agree with her choices, and therefore can’t be around her until she can make the responsible decision to either leave or be faithful to your father.
Stay in your lane… You are an adult as are they…
Mind ya business. Her phone… any parents phone isn’t your business. Your dad is aware what’s happening in his marriage. They are grown ass adults. Leave em be
obviously her and your dad have some kind of understanding…let them handle it.
Not your place. Mind your business. Your father knows what is going on clearly and is choosing to stay.
It sounds like you and your sisters are adults and know they have a loveless marriage. If your dad hasn’t divorced her after knowing about her other cheating they may have chosen to live a different life than you may be comfortable hearing about. Talk to your mom and if need be talk to your dad but if they choose to stay together let it go.
It could be something completely innocent like maybe she’s planning a surprise for someone and doesn’t wanna give it away… I know that’s the only time I get sneaky and I used to lock my phone when my one daughter was home just because she was nosy and knew I would be talking about her venting to one of my friends and she’s used that against me with her father etc…
Leave your parents discretions to them. Ask to be removed from the ordeal and be a neutral
Your parents marital problems are theirs, not her children’s. Let them deal with it. It’s really none of your business.
Your mom clearly has been wanting to be out of the situation she’s in. She wanted a divorce but never went through probably because she’s comfortable and likes her lifestyle. Having your dad take care of her isn’t something she wants to loose. But she doesn’t want to put in the work to make the relationship work, so mentally she’s checked out. She’s told you all this. It’s nothing new at this point. It’s not okay for her to stay with your dad and see other people. She needs to take the next step and move on if she’s not going to try and make it work. I can see why you’re upset at her. You need to explain it to her so she understands that you get what she’s going through. But she’s not making the right decisions and it’s hurting your family. There’s a level of maturity you expect from your parents, so when they don’t act right it’s upsetting. I get that. But it’s also their relationship and you don’t really have a right to feel angry that she doesn’t want to be with your dad anymore. That’s her own right. Who she loves and who she wants to be with isn’t really something she can consciously control. It just happens.
Mind your own business. Parents or not, you truly have no idea what their relationship is, only they do.
Your dad puts up with it and it sounds like he knows what’s going on. Not your business.
I think you should mind your business. And also why are people laughing at this post? Some people are really just evil.
People love who they love, and this is between your mom and dad. I feel the same way you do about your mom. If she’s not happy she should get divorced. I don’t know if your dad would be happier with or without her. I would be there for your dad in whatever he wants to do.
None of your business. They are whole ass adults let them figure it out
Stay out of your parents business. Your mom is wrong. However, you don’t know what got her to this point. Your dad may have slept with hundreds of women and your mom covered for him in the past…You never know what is happening in these long marriages.
As long as dad keeps putting up with it moms going to act single but it’s his problem to deal with it
It’s none of your business. It’s their marriage and you’re grown.
Your parents business is none of yours
Yes I been in your situation before
I’ve read all ur comments u have a decision to make That u can get involved and MAYBE ur father has had a relationship first and moms given him a pay back Maybe?
Or maybe it’s been mom all along
Bottom line they are both doing their best to keep it from you Because they love you kids more than their selves The guilty one will bare witness on them selves Our energy repeats patterns opposite So let karma do it’s own work Bottom line u don’t know anything about the truth I was in your situation as a young girl I was also gifted With these gifts I’d just shot the truth all over my house like I was eating popcorn My sisters and brothers always in shock My father understand my gifts because his mother and sisters were the same Those that hated me were the guilty ones Boy did my father and I have some silent chuckles Either way the truth is very telling The one who complains the most about the other and never shuts up Is usually the same one leaving house again Arguing the most putting the other one down the most My father was home same time everyday never left He went on a bowling league over time never stayed for drinking and chat he came straight home Summer he’d clean the pool all the time for us kids Or go fishing and plant plants in his beautiful garden Fed us the best vegetables Put the fish scraps in his garden Point is we always knew what time he’d walk through the door We always knew he was fishing keep this boat clean Created some of his own tackle to catch fish Clean his shed wash the cars I always did the chores for the family of 7 totally do dishes etc Because I loved my dad my mother made it may job My mother could not get me to hate my father I couldn’t find anything to hate about him
My sisters never helped me with chores my mother made sure
My mother always left She go here their were ever When I was much younger she took us on a train to meet someone Another man She cried to come home my father said yes he missed his children It ended their My father was never ever going to leave his family He never found his own happiness He said his family was all he ever needed and I felt the same was happy and proud of him
We stayed together but my mom felt unhappy I don’t know everything but l didn’t know why I seen what she did
Either way be their to support them Use ur own common sense And the truth is right in front of u
Sounds to me like your father isn’t doing anything nor is going anywhere Sounds like my father from the start Everyone is different Selfish people makes everything about them that much I learned
Your loved and cared for start their
Stay out of it. Treat both your parents with love and respect, but most of all, Grace.
Not your business. You want ppl interfering with your private relationships? They are grown.
You are grown and not living in that house. Her personal life isn’t really your business.
Mind your business. Love them as your parents. Respect them as your parents and you’ll be a lot happier.
Mind your business. I understand it’s your mom, but she’s grown. Let her handle what she wants
Your mama is a whole grown ass woman leave her alone!
Not ur business!!! What goes on between ur mom & dad is their business. Stay in ur lane!!
Ain’t my relationship. Ain’t my business.
They choose to stay together after the first time then oh well. Can’t do anything about it.
Maybe be a listening ear to your mom. Clearly shes very unhappy, wants out and cannot get out for whatever reason…Help the situation not hurt it more.
Obviously your dad n her have an agreement of sorts or else he’d say something
Stay out of their marriage and focus on your future
Mind your business, they’re grown.
Stay in a child place and leave the grown folks alone