I think my toddler has an unhealthy attachments to my husband: Thoughts?

Just a thought…maybe it’s not an unhealthy relationship between babe and dad…but a struggle at night? Maybe your girl can learn how to sleep in her bed by herself like a big girl? And the. You can get the rest you need and you and dad can focus on the baby? I’m currently using charts to keep my kids in their own bed. After 1 full week of sleeping alone they get to go to target and pick out a toy. Did the same with potty training. Worked like a charm.

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This is normal not unhealthy. She’s dad’s girl… And u have a newborn and tired and aggressive :woman_facepalming::pleading_face:. She will learn if u teach her and not shout at a “2year old” it will pass.

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Get ready for your day to start at 5am. Not unusual for that age to be up that early.

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I think what people are missing here is the fact that dad gives in to meltdowns is going to create a monster when he is back to work. When the little girl is screaming for daddy who has to go to work and mom is at home with two screaming kids. I understand where you’re coming from on that much at least. I would have a conversation about that with your husband.

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If u dont like it keep your eye on it.mean time try his methods and see if they work for you as well.

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Seriously :unamused: he sounds like a great dad to me

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I don’t know what kind of unhealthy relationship you think it is but it sounds like a daddy’s girl to me all the way. It sounds like a little girl loves her daddy and wants her dad and wants to stick by her daddy Like glue I have a little girl like that too.you know these kids look up to their daddies and want to be just like them and everything. I think you need to rethink the status you wrote To be honest. A new baby can also make a toddler very jealous and can sometimes make them feel unloved I have seen that in families before. Maybe you should think about that!!! A baby takes a lot of attention and you know that all day and all night! I think you should let the relationship between the daughter and the father bee for now! Pick your battles!!! it also sounds like to me you need to start doing a lot more bonding with the little girl me and my daughter used to have mother daughter tea mother daughter movie days mother daughter lunch today is all kinds of stuff even when she was a toddler. and still when my daughter does something that she supposed to do she’s 11 years old I like to reward her by a new toy or going to her favorite restaurant or going to the park. Sounds like your little girl needs some of that was Mommy!!! My daughter has had a trampoline since she could walk and we would always go jumping together we would play hopscotch together with chalk we would color and draw. Sounds like maybe you need to do this some of that.

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Toddlers don’t always adapt easily, but once daddy’s routine is concrete then toddler and baby will adjust. Try preparing her in language she understands and be excited for daddy. “Daddy will get up early in the morning and we will stay and cuddle in bed!! Okay?!” If you’re unhappy and dreadful she will definitely follow your lead.

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Speaking from experience: it will change.

My daughter was all about me until I got pregnant with our son (they’re 19 months apart). Then it flipped. She only wanted daddy. She’d scream when he left for work. Eventually it wasn’t so bad. But my son was all about me until he turned about 8 months old and we stopped breastfeeding. Now he’s 2. She’s almost 4. I’m her favorite. My 2yr old son FREAKS out when his dad leaves the room. Dads the fun one.

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This sounds like maybe some post partum.

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I’m having almost the same problem with my 18 month old haha. She only wants me to nurse from me but wants to be carried, read to, eat from his plate from her dad. She’s always staring at him lol. It’s hilarious but I feel insulted because she always says! Hi, dada… Never hi, mama

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Thats just typical daddys girl. I have a mamas boy.

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Jeeeez---- u have some growing up to do@

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My girl is 5 she has gone through phases of this. Sonetimes she just wants dad and she crys when he goes to work. The worst was when he worked out of state for 2 months it was crazy hard and for about a month after he got home was the worst she would lay infront of the bathroom door if he was in there because she was afraid of him leaving her…

Now shes more of a mamas girl at the moment. It will be okay. Make sure you are spending time with her one on one. And if you can just the 3 of you. Constantly reassure her that shes okay anf mommy loves her too. Maybe a build a bear with his voice recording will help as well (we used a phone recording). Younsound frustrated and you meed to be very careful with that because she can feel it which only makes her more anxious. So much going on right now for such a little one she just needs time

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this is ridiculous :rofl:

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Are you kidding me. She’s two, give it a break. My son is almost two and is the same way. He wants his daddy 24/7 and why would that make me mad? They’ve created a bond that will last a lifetime and the love he has for him melts my heart. You should be thankful because he’s a good father. And codling your child when hurt is NOT bad, ffs she’s two :woman_facepalming:t2:

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We can trade babydaddies if you want :joy::joy::joy::joy: sounds more like you feel replaced and have some resentment towards sharing him. You have to deal with that jealousy before it destroys your relationship with all of them

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Shes a daddy’s girl and its wonderful she know comfort. Maybe she could go out with dad when he goes with the baby. She will adapt but you have to be willing to comfort her through it and give her time

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My son is like this without a a second child. The whole year he was 2 was a nightmare, bed time especially. He is now 3 and in his bed almost every night, some nights have tears others don’t. You just have to stay consistent and stop sharing a bed to break the habit.

Wow way to attack a mom! So many judgmental mamas here it’s sad.
I think both mom and dad need to sit and talk about boundaries and I think mom should also (like stared before) should talk to a doctor about postpartum.
Dad is “over reacting” about things and clearly isn’t doing things the way mom has been before this pandemic. The dad clearly loves being able to spend time with his daughter and that is beautiful. Daughter is clearly soaking that up because mom has a new baby and of course feels neglected in some ways. Mom sounds tired and hurt. Moms hormones are off the chart too. So before there’s more bashing that needs to be reminded to y’all.
I’m not for “family beds” but that’s just me. I know families who have it and to each their own.
Talk things out with the hubby talk things out with the doctor. Hug your daughter.

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I dont see a issue with it. It most sounds like ur jealous that her and dad have such a close relationship. I can see you and her are not close at all and you and dont bond at all.

So your child having a great relationship with her dad is bothering you why? Are you jealous of the attention he gives her? I mean a toddler and new baby can be a lot all moms understand that but you complaining because she wants to be with her daddy makes you sound bitter.

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Maybe you should spend some one on one time with her to create a mother daughter bond or to strengthen it.

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You are mad your kid likes their dad? Lol trade ya, mine doesnt like going to his

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She has attachment issues which is common with little kids. I think she will grow out of it eventually.

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SO MANY MEAN FUCKING COMMENTS OF HER BEING JEALOUS OR Y IS SHE QUESTIONING THE RELATIONSHIP.? SHE IS EITHER SHE IS ASKING HOW TO GET BACK TO A NORMAL WITH OUT HER HUSBAND BEING HOME U ASSHOLES.!! honestly mama is might take a min to get back to normal.! But give it time and i hope it goes well fuck the lower lifes that make something of nothing.! U GOT THIS MAMA.!!

Sounds like a good Dad. Count your blessings

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daddies girl… she will transition. it will be an adjustment. explain it to her and have daddy do the same. it will be hard!! my prayers will be with you!!

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If she wanted to be shit on, I’m sure she could do that to herself!! And IF she is going through postpartum, the rude ass comments on here aren’t helping :woman_facepalming:t4: She may have needed to word it differently, for a better understanding, but I TOTALLY get what she’s talking about while all of y’all are just on her dick. How tf can ANY of y’all state that she doesn’t spend time with her child or have anything to say to her as a parent? This ONE post doesn’t define her as a mother. And for the most part, she’s still a new mom it seems. 2 years being a mother doesn’t make you perfect. She’s still learning so MAYBE she didn’t know this was normal? Get off her back, fuck. I literally hate groups like this and I hate the world we live in because y’all are some hateful mfs. Make sure your hands are clean before trying to shit on someone else smh

That’s not unhealthy at all. 2 year olds aren’t grown yet, they’re still babies for the most part. Her person is her daddy and there’s nothing wrong with that. A new baby is a huge adjustment for kids of any age. Put yourself in her shoes. How would you feel if you were an only child getting all the love and attention 100% of the time, and now all of a sudden, there’s a new baby stealing your spotlight.

Make a day to spend some quality 1-on-1 time with her. No phone, no distractions. She might be having a hard time adjusting

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I get what you’re saying… this was me with my daughter but reversed. My daughter was/ is a complete mama’s girl. I couldn’t even make a quick run down to the store without a meltdown. And he was no help, saying “she just wants her mom”, like I know that; I’m the only one ever doing shit for her…you just need to establish rules and boundaries ASAP. I was always the mom who didn’t freak out every time her kid got hurt. You want them to know that if it’s not real bad that they can get up, dust themselves off, and go about their day. Having a good dad is a good, confident builder. But being absolutely dependent on anyone is not good. Sounds like you need to talk to your SO about this. Yes she’s 2 now, but this stuff keeps happening, you’ll be in it for years. My daughter didn’t completely leave my bed until 11. Just need to start engaging in a healthy routine , especially nightly routine, for sleep. Good luck and hugs to you. Sorry for you having to deal with obviously bitter women who can’t relate :woman_shrugging:t3:

Its Very normal according to sigmund Freud the father of psychology he called it electra complex where a girl gets too attached to the father…equally manifest in young boys and its referred to as Oedipus theory

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No offense but I have 4 boys 13, 6 , 4 and 3 they get up by 5am everyday you might as well get used to it that’s now your life as far as the crying when he leaves for work she will eventually fall back I to rythm and it won’t bother her as much patience is key and coffee lots of coffee lol

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You could have post partum. Talk to a doctor please.

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Some people are missing the point. She isn’t jealous of her daughter, she is just tired and needs some time for herself without her family screaming for mommy to come to the rescue.

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What I would give to have a husband that loves his daughter that way. It’s not unhealthy. It’s very healthy actually. Your daughter needs her dad. It makes her feel safe. If you take that away she will probably never forgive you

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Family bed? Maybe she needs her own bed. You have a toddler and a new born in the same bed between you? Hugs. Mine are in their own space by eight months and everyone gets a good sleep. Different generation though.

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I used to feel that way but it was because of my own Daddy issues. I never received the kinda love from my own Dad the way my husband shows our daughter & it bothered me. I had to work on it & now I’m so grateful my husband is an awesome Dad to our kids.

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Accept whatever help you can get. A 2 yr old is supposed to want mom or dad. Most kids aren’t independent until much later. If he is busy with her enjoy time with the new baby and try to include her as a helper. She can get diapers and wipes for you, Of you are nursing let her pat the baby on your lap. Let her mix formula by shaking a bottle. Let this be her baby too.

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She sounds like a typical toddler so what’s the problem? My kids did the same with me. Why cant dad handle both kids so you can sleep? That seems like more of a problem to me.

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This is called spoiled… When you hold a baby constantly it gets attached.
It’s really unhealthy as child is not learning to do for themselves

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Sounds like he is giving the child the love and attention that it needs that it may not be receiving from you… sorry. Take away pacifier for sure

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Y’all don’t understand. She isn’t jealous, she isn’t being unappreciative of her husband, she’s exhausted and can’t get help while she can, before he goes to work, because of the little one.
Talk to her pediatrician. She has severe separation anxiety and her doctor can explain a lot of possibilities of how to move forward that will be beneficial for everyone.

Woman can’t even get help with her newborn and y’all are saying “bE GRatEfuL.” :roll_eyes:

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Hey mama. I’m.in the same boat as u but I have two boys. My baby is 1yr one month n my newborn is 1 month. I am grateful and thankful that my toddler has daddy for extra love and support as he is not able to.understand where this new baby came from that is taking up all his mommy’s time. Be grateful doll. Ur daughter is not spoiled as per above comment. She is stressed and doesn’t know how to cope. A new baby is stressful on everyone. As for the lack.of sleep I’d kill for a good solid hr but o remind myself they wont be this small forever. I cry almost every night bit I have made up my mind to enjoy them as they grow very fast… today they are day older than yesterday and tomorrow they will be older than.today. best wishes.hugs

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Going from 1 to 2 is such a tough transition for most mom’s, some just don’t want to admit it. Post partum is REAL. PLEASE talk to your doctor. Hubby is there for you it sounds like. Let him handle both kids if you need a break sweetheart. Praying for you. :heart:

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I’m so disappointed :disappointed:

Definitely nothing unhealthy about it. He’s nurturing her and showing her love and affection. Maybe if you tried it she would want you too.

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It’s fine. You’re just underslept and raw emotionally from it all. It will all go back to a manageable normal before you know it. But it’s ok to feel this and ask this question too. We are all working towards getting it right. Hang in therr

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My ex and I had 3 kids under 4 by the time we and were 21 it’s really not that hard… you are lucky to have a man who helps out and takes such an interest in my opinion! Also you say you were very sick and pregnant so naturally she’ll go to the parent who’s been available to her.

Maybe you should try and bond with her a bit more… she’ll get used to your husband being away and you can then set up your own routine

You as the parent need to gain some control your child is a child she doesn’t know any better

I think she’s lucky to have her dad you seem only concerned with how YOU will cope and not how SHE is coping given the fact that that there is now a new baby now and she may jealous and more clingy because which is perfectly natural

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Sounds like she needs a good spanking!!

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Omg I get how it sounded bad at first but totally get what she’s saying maybe she worded it wrong. But honestly don’t act like if she was saying how much she was doing that with her toddler y’all would be in here saying she needs to quit babying her toddler. I swear. No matter what you do you can’t please anyone so don’t even try. I hope the person who made this posts reads this. Please know this lady. You are NOT wrong for wanting there to be boundaries when it comes to babying a child especially when you have more than one. I’m not saying don’t let the dad love the child and no where in her post did she say that either but look at the bigger picture here people.

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This can’t be serious?! You have a spouse who wants to be there for your children and love them fully… and ur pissed cause you’re going to have a hard time dealing with 2 kids when he goes back to work at 5am… yikes! Sounds like maybe said child wouldn’t be bagging for dad’s love and affection… If you took the same effort to love and console her like her dad is willing to do!! Think maybe you need to learn to give her love and affection… so she feels safe and comforted when he’s not able to be around! And to act like it’s such an inconvious your toddler needs you… cause know you have a new baby… and ur chapped she is a sensitive soul and needs the extra support… instead of told to suck it up… in my opinion… maybe you should be there for her a little more so she doesn’t feel she constantly has to depend on her dad…!!

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She sounds like a typical daddy girl. And probably wants extra attention especially now with a new baby. Maybe have him watch the baby and you and her go spend one on one time together. Try to start putting her in her own bed for naps and at bed time. And don’t start that habit with the new baby you’ll have a bed full of kids. And plus you said you’ve been pregnant and sick and he has been home he was probably spend more time with her.

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There is a Darius Rucker song called “It wont be like this for long”… look it up on youtube and have a listen… as a Mom of 5- this too shall pass…

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It sounds like they have a strong bond. A child’s strong bond to parents is linked to so many benefits for a healthy child- and their social wellbeing later in life. To be completely honest, establish something in routine for just the 2 of you would probably be good. Maybe you could try a book before bedtime with her? Im sure bedtime would go smoother if she and you had your own bond in some ways.

I was very sick back in April and my baby was cared for much more by his dad, and before that he was all about me. For a few months that really changed when I started to get better, until we were able to get back into our play/bond routine. This boys all mine again! Lol jk … He loves us both a ton.
I also have to say, it’s not a bad thing to assure your child your there when they get hurt. It will help them build confidence and security.

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I think you should look at it from another angle that if he did nothing with either of the children you’d be fuming, the fact he is showing love, affection & wants to protect his little girl then you should be thankful. A toddler is very hard to deal with when a new baby comes along so the main pressure is off you. I have a baby & toddler and I do it on my own. Maybe show some love and spend time with your daughter when baby is asleep and she might calm down, she’s more than likely kicking off & clinging to the dad for attention and doesn’t want to feel left out & she doesn’t understand the change of the household x

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Maybe try a weighted blanket with his colone on it? That might trick her into thinking she still cuddling with him?

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I can relate, I’m pregnant going thru my toddler being too attached to her nana. I’ve gave up sometimes too bc I’m just too exhausted in my pregnancy to fight it. I’ve told my mom that she needs to be the one to put her foot down & tell her it’s enough. If the ones around you arwnt enforcing what you want they’re just as bad.

Sounds relatively normal considering the situation you’ve laid out. I’d talk to your doctor about the possibility of post partum, let your husband take care of both of them if you need a break because he sounds willing to me, maybe start the transition to her own bed/room (that’s going to be a hard one) also aside from getting some alone time I’d also recommend having your husband take care of baby while you and toddler do something together just the two of you to bond. Good luck

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Shut up and be a mom with your selfish ass. Shes a baby as well. A few months of not sleeping because of the newborn wont kill you. Let her love her Daddy if her daddy is giving her time and affection. You sound like the real baby complain about your poor toddler because she needs to feel loved.

Sounds like a dream hubby and daddy to me. Transitioning from 1 to 2 children is hard. Just start making time for your toddler 1 on 1.
Send dad out an hiur before bedtime sobyou can get the hang of settling toddler and baby.
I feel like perhaps subconsciously you’re feeling a bit left out of thier bond and that’s why you’re seeing it as unhealthy/being a bit overdramatic/bitter?

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I have felt this way before. My little girl adores her daddy and it’s meltdown central even if he just goes to the loo… I have also realized that a lot of the time it’s also me like you’re so tired and you don’t necessarily want to do anything with them. We have tried to rather let her fall asleep with me but sometimes she wants him. I don’t have another baby but maybe start with smaller amounts of time and not only sleeping activities. Also let her be involved with baby routine make her feel important and part of it.

Sounds like normal behaviour from a toddler,when my son was 2-3 years he would always want me and never his dad,anytime his dad came home from work,and he wanted a cuddle from his son but he would cry and hug me tighter,he went through many attachment phases towards me,he wouldnevr let me out of my sight and it was so draining,he would not let his dad put him to bed,feed him etc,etc,now my son is 5 he loves spending time with his dad.hope this helps.xx

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Have her begin to sit with you to be big sissy “helping mommy feed baby” read to her or draw while feeding. She wants to feel that all attention isn’t only on baby. Snuggle with her too while reading while feeding tell her you still loved her so very much. My oldest was 3.5 when her sister came she all of a sudden felt like baby was more important to me

Ugh. All these comments from people telling you to just be grateful that he is helping with his kids at all REEKS of internalized misogyny. Babying children and making it harder on the other parent is a problem. Y’all laugh at helicopter mom’s all day but spoiling dad is fine? Jesus

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Wooooow, imagine thinking your husband is wrong for comforting your two year old with a scraped knee? The way you’ve said everything sounds like you’re jealous of the bond your husband has with your daughter. Stop being mad about it and give your two year old the comfort YOU should be giving her too. She’s still a little baby, not understanding much more than what you’re making abundantly clear. Jesus. Give your husband some credit. It sounds like he’s doing his best in the situation and you’re complaining that you can’t settle your own 2 year old while he’s up with your new baby? Yikes.

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I have a 4 yo son and my husband would always jump up any time he would make a peep or want something and would also give him anything just so he wouldn’t cry. I did none of that and now our son follows him around everywhere and basically smothers my husband and he is increasingly getting frustrated and I just tell him it’s his fault and laugh. There really is nothing wrong with the way her dad is being with her he just needs to be prepared for the consequences is all.

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I’m a parent of 3 children. 16, 15 and 12. Girls and boys.
When you’re going through it, all things set off alarms.
Let me reassure you. Never giving “too much attention” hurts them. Ever. It can hurt you. But never can it hurt your child. It is such a difficult thing to deal with. But, given the child comes first, anything that benefits them, ‘should’ be allowed. I have lots of caveats., but essentially, ego aside, the benefit should be put ahead of anything else.
10 years into the future your question will be different.

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it doesn’t sound like an unhealthy attachment at all, but does sound like some sleep issues. Sleeping with cuddles is just what you got her used to. maybe try cuddles with mom for a few night. then when dad goes to work she knows she can still be comfortable and loved with you in the way she’s accustomed to.

If this was a boy and he followed you around and wanted mama all the time it would be fine. Mamas boys are normal but a daddy’s girl is an issue. He loves his daughter and she loves him. Would you rather they never spend time together? I personally think you might be being a little unreasonable.

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This just sounds like normal behaviour. Sometimes children form this attachment to one parent. My two year old son is a nightmare at the moment, with me. But because he’s a little boy nobody says it’s an issue. It’s just something she’ll get through eventually, try to get him to leave the house more often, she needs to see that you’re a caregiver too and she can get everything she needs from you as well

He sounds like a great dad and you sound jealous.

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You need to get a grip or seek a therapist your jealous your children deserve their daddy like this they are obviously not getting it from mummy.

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Wow what did I just read a mother is jealous of her daughter wtf is going on

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She is 2. My daughter was the same way. And she is a smart passionate loving young lady. It would different if she was 5 or 6 and still acting that way. But at 2 she is daddy’s little girl.

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Why are you emphasizing “my husband”? is he not her father? is there something you’re not saying. For heaven’s sake that is a toddler, and yes she needs lots of attention, especially because there is a new sibbling. Maybe you need to also be worried as to why she doesn’t crave for your attention as well. I see no problem. Ever heard of the phrase, “daddy’s girl”? Just Mother up!

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You’re jealous. Seek therapy for your issues.

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You’ve just had a baby and your daughter probably feels a bit insecure and unsure so it’s great that her dad is able to comfort her and make her feel secure, I’d be counting my blessings that he’s able to help her instead of seeing it as a problem… she’s two… she’s allowed be babied because she is only 2 … just because there’s a new baby doesn’t mean she is suddenly older and more mature… she’s 2! Let her seek comfort and security and enjoy being a new family of 4… you’re lucky :four_leaf_clover:

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Makes me wonder what your relationship with your own Dad is like of you think this is unhealthy :woman_shrugging:t2:

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Some of these comments are kind of harsh. At first, I thought wow, this man seems like a great dad and very attentive. I would not want him overrreacting to falls/injuries like that. But if you’re co-sleeping, you guys have already created this issue. Sounds like maybe some jealousy because of a bond they have, probably due to hormones. If you are going to stop co-sleeping then better start sooner than later if he’s going back to work.

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I’ve lived this. My 17 month old daughter only wanted my husband as I was on 7 months pregnant on bed rest. It continued for months because he could pick her up and get on the floor to play. Is it unhealthy? No. Did I feel rejected? Yes.

I’m sensing your real concern is her adjusting to him going back to work full time. It will be tough on all of you. That’s the truth. A couple suggestions would be you put her to bed at night. Even if she’s resistant. Show love and comfort her. Maybe find a special song to sing to her. Each afternoon have mommy and me date time. Leave baby with dad and head to the park or even the back yard. I know it’s hard being postpartum but really try to work on your empathy. Lots of extra hugs for no reason. Just love on her. This too shall pass. My daughter is now 7yo and daddy’s no longer acceptable for most things. The pendulum swings both ways.

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shes daddys girl . Nothing wrong with it prob just wants dads attention more because of new baby .i loved my dad as little girl .

Let me assure you, the alternative isn’t better. He loves his children. You got incredibly lucky. You’re probably feeling this way because you just had a baby. You clearly still get time with him, you guys made a new baby. I think mommy needs daddy to take her out for a night to reconnect. You guys can figure out how to adjust the children to a new schedule so they have an easier time.

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The amount of assuming in the comments is disgusting

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Give her the affection and love she needs and she will become equally attached to both of you

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The unhealthy thing I see is a grown woman whos jealous of her daughter.

Try not to turn into a monster about it and get help.

And … bravo to your husband for being such a great dad.

Honestly, let her have her meltdown. Couple rough nights and it will be okay, kinda like when you sleep train a newborn. First few nights are hard, but that’s nothing compared to years of what you described. It’s not healthy and it’s going to drive you and her crazy especially when he does go back to work.

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I don’t understand how most of you think it’s ok or normal that she has to have daddy sleep with her every night and can’t even get up to go to bathroom without her screaming. It’s one thing to lay with them until they fall asleep but to have to stay in bed with them all night is crazy. Her concern is not jealousy it’s concern as to what is she going to do when he goes back to work and gets out of bed way before the child would normally get up and she will be screaming right away in the morning. That’s just gonna make for a bad start to the day which means the entire day will probably be bad. I do think she should try to involve the 2 year old more with helping with baby. Let her know she is still important and can really use her help. Mom might not get much free time but whenever she can snuggle with her and watch a movie or play games or something.

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I wonder if you would think it unhealthy if she shared the same relationship with you? My daughter & I have always been super close (she’s 12) & my husband actually told me one day, I wish just once you’d look at me like you look at her. (When I asked why he said it’s so obvious how much you love her when you look at her). It’s not easy being the one left out. It sounds like your daughter is a little jealous of the new baby (did your relationship with her change while you were pregnant). If she’s not used to having her Daddy home she may very well just be enjoying this time with him. Talk to her & your husband together, simply ask why she’s behaving this way, you’ll get an answer even at that age. I know how stressful hearing that crying is but you’ll have to put up with it and show her that crying doesn’t always equal getting your way. Be honest & patient with yourself and your family.

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I must be a terrible mom because I tell my kids it’s ok and give them a kiss when they get hurt. Lol. As for sleeping, suck it up for a few nights and make her sleep in her own bed, in your room or hers. Do it while he is home and make him be the one that puts her in the bed mostly so she knows she can’t just run to him and get her way. She’s also going to change because a new baby is alot. My son done it at 2 1/2, both my kids changed when I had #3 three years ago. You also need to spend time with her, without the baby so she repairs the bond she had with you. Play outside, glow bubbles, color, watch a movie with her favorite snack, etc.

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I understand it. You are tired, just had a newborn, and your 1st born is up his ass and you know he will be going back to work soon. I think it’s best to let her be with her dad and then let HIM decide when he wants it to end. It’s not unhealthy whatsoever. He can take care and spend time with both the baby and your daughter. Not sure why it’s only one at a time. Then you can get your rest. Let her sleep with him too. I loved my daddy. My son is 5 and still sleeps with me and I know it’s a matter of time before mom has cooties and he wont want to anymore. This doesnt last forever. Let her have her dad. Have as much as a relationship with your children as you can and be loving and supportive. They get so big. So fast.

As long as he is dealing with her and willing to take care of her, even when he goes back to work, let it go on. He can get up every morning and not wake her. Sounds like you have some jealousy going on too over the kids getting attention and that isnt healthy. You have kids now and it’s to be expected that your childs winning more affection.

I definitely wouldn’t call this unhealthy actually far from it. However, I do hear that you both have different parenting responses. I think it’s time for you and your husband to have an adult conversation and come up with a compromise.

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You are lucky you have a husband that helps. I think with a new baby, dynamics have changed and there seems to be some jealousy involved. Instead of " you take one kid, I take.the other" you need to engage as a family. Get big sister to help mom and the baby with daddy. Start working on the transition to him being gone now.

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I had a similar situation. I’m a nurse and went back to work nights at the hospital when my youngest was nine months. My husband let my son sleep with him and they were super close and he wanted nothing to do with me. I’m not going to lie I was super jealous of their bond. I ended up getting a job working days and spent more time with just him one on one and built up our relationship. He is still a Daddy’s boy, but we have a great relationship too. You need to spend some time alone with her. You also need to break her of sleeping with you guys. Trust me, my son is now almost 5 and we are still trying to break him of sleeping with us.

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Wow your so blessed to have such a wonderful father to your children! You will have to quit the family bed sometime, Sooner is better than later. It will be a process just like potty training so dont give up! Also keep the baby in crib or bassinet No Co Sleeping with the new baby either. (You dont want to smother the new baby and if your going to get your toddler in her own bed she cant see the new baby in your bed!) Take my advice your not but you need to sleep and be well rested to be a happy mother for your little ones!

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How would u feel if she was attached to u? Maybe yr a lil jealous. I think its sweet she loves her daddy and he can calm her down. Yes it will be hard on her when he goes back to work thats where yr gonna need to step up and calm her down… most men don’t get a chance to bond with their kids like moms do…dont make him feel bad cause shes a daddys girl…most lil girls are daddys girl.

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It may seem endearing, but with time over many years, these emotional dependencies can lead to bigger emotional problems. It’s really great they’re close. However, she should be able to sleep without her dad in bed next to her. If you feel overridden as the wife, by your daughter and husband there is a reason. Look into counseling for a second opinion. Long term parent child enmeshment can be harmful.

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This is normal and will pass. Do try to encourage the Big Girl to sleep in her Big Girl Bed. Enjoy some Big Girl time during the day when the baby sleeps. (Quiet Story Time, or Disney time cuddles, etc.) Then maybe bake refrigerated cookie dough.

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The same way that children usually do just fine at daycare when we leave them behind and often act differently there, you may find that her behavior changes and improves when he goes back to work.

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No joke. I was a single mom with 2 kids ages 3 months and 2 when their father left completely. It was the hardest time of my life the years from then to now which is 6 years later. I had to learn to give my girls attention and make it abundantly clear how much they mean to me even if I was overwhelmed. Children do go to the person who shows them love and affection and I don’t think it’s overboard. Be grateful that you have a father who actually lets you stay home. I was a single mom with 2 kids in diapers and no man to provide for me. No judgement here I get the struggle. Take a nap wherever you can even if it’s just 20 minutes. Have a family member take the baby for a few hours or even pay someone to watch them for half a day to get your mind back to a healthier state. And don’t worry about her being too attached it just makes it easier for you if she’s goes to dad for a while so you don’t have to juggle both. Its a win win really.

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