I think my toddler has an unhealthy attachments to my husband: Thoughts?

She’s only two. You’ve been sick and she’s missed your attention. He dad has filled your place (to a degree) and his. Once the baby is born, the changes will be enormous for her. Please, let her enjoy the extra attention; obviously she craves it.

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Wow! I’m glad I didn’t ask for help. You all took her to task! Whatever the issue is she was asking for help, you all Criticized her!

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I don’t see a huge problem here. I’m old school so put those babies asleep in their own bed. Both parents should give the older child a hug and kiss and into bed with favorite doll. It won’t happen immediately so be consistent. Infant into crib. This gives parents time together that is needed at the end of day. It will get easier and better. Children become more secure when they sleep in their own beds.

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My daughter is all about daddy. But we’re fine when he’s at work. Maybe while baby is napping, do an activity with her. She has her inside jokes & games with dad, & she has her inside jokes & games with me. She’s autistic & is a sensory seeker. When she has meltdowns, we do the pretzel (she takes a deep breath, gives herself a hug, then breath out). Her teachers taught me that & it works. Maybe make a chart & tell her if she sleeps in her own bed like a big girl, she gets a sticker.

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For everyone that’s so quick to say how disgusted they are at all of the people telling the mother she needs help, maybe she needs help. PPD can be very sneaky, and maybe she thinks that she is fine, but from an outsider hearing her concerns (she is the one that asked for advice, people didn’t just start bashing her outta nowhere) it does sound like she may be the one with some underlying issues. Maybe it’s ppd, maybe it’s something deeper. Maybe it’s nothing and it will pass, but it’s always better to be safe than sorry. Maybe the whole family should consider therapy as a whole if she is so concerned. She’s asking for help and advice, don’t get defensive when it gets handed to her.

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I’m not saying this to be mean, but I wish my father did any of that for me. He was always working out of town when I was little and I barely saw him and even when he was home it was like he wasn’t around. I love my dad, don’t get me wrong, but I wish I had a better relationship with him from the start. However, he is very close with my son which makes me happy. As far as the transition for when your husband goes to bed, I think the both of y’all should try to get her to sleep in her own bed at night. Maybe let her pick something of her daddy’s that she can snuggle with for comfort for when he’s not home. I wish you the best of luck!

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Well what did you expect, she’s just a baby her self ,you should have thought about how it would affect her ,you getting pregnant so soon didn’t even give her time to grow a little more ,so sad suck it up let her have her daddy since you don’t seem to have time and stop being a spoiled jealous brat !!! SMH

Be thankful for this. My beautiful grandkids father when they were born. My heart bleeds for them. Sometimes I wish I could buy a daddy for them

Sounds perfectly normal for a daddy’s girl and now dad has another baby wth…she needs boundries but um…good luck getting dad to stick to them.

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My son n law does that with my granddaughter. I think it is endearing.
Its a new day, a new time where he doesn’t have to be all big bad man.
Let him enjoy his daughter.

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Umm, so many people are saying the mom is just jealous, but it’s not normal for a kid to have a melt down if one of the parents gets up to use the bathroom.

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This sounds like totally normal behavior. Give her time. When you feel not so overwhelmed try giving her more attention and baby her a little more. She is actually still a baby herself

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Get her out of your bed. Tell your husband to man up so your little girl can grow up.

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Typical of a toddler to glom.onto the parent. It is usually mom. With dad home.it is a novelty and she gets different. Love from him. Just a stage and she will grow.out of it.
I have mixed feelings reading your report.
On one hand you sound a little jealous if the attachment they have.
On the other hand you have a new baby and need dad’s support but are too exhausted to deal with the toddler, she recognizes this and falls.apart.

You are right she is going to have a rough time.when he goes back.to work. Older kids will always regress someplace in their development when a new baby comes in. She is at a testing and “no” stage, testing not only you both, but where her new found power starts and stops.
Believe it or not her meltdowns are a good sign. Both you parents Ned to have a united front though.
Either you are on the rules, or you have daddy rules and mommy rules and you both stick to it.
Hang in there …you will survive and get to repeat this in the teen years!

Maslows hierarchy of needs is a good basis of how children develop and build as they grow which lead into adulthood. I don’t necessarily think that it’s a bad thing that she has that bond with her daddy, it will give her a good aspect for later in life of what type of partner to seek in her own husband. Also as girls we all tend to be daddy’s little princess while boys tend to be daddy’s rough tough little man. We as moms want our daughters to be more independent in today’s culture/society and we tend to want our boys to be more compassionate/helpful later in life so we’re a little softer with them cause you know they’re mammas boys. It’s hard to find that balance. I know that I have two boys that are close in age and my oldest only wanted me when I was the only one around to meet his needs after our second baby came along for awhile until I showered him that there was enough of me to go around so it was hard on me and I felt left out when others were around. I do think that both of you setting some healthy boundaries for bedtime for her would be good for everyone involved and I know family sleeping is a big thing in today’s time as well. There is no wrong answer here. Just love both of them. You’re doing a great job momma and it sounds like you’ve found a wonderful partner to share your life with.

Usually this attachment is to the mother,because most dads are @ work.When dad gets home the child runs to dad & greets him, then starts playing & if the child falls & gets hurt ,they want mama & run to her.In this case the dad is @ home & has been attentive to the child. The mom has been sick,then newborn & I bet cooks & does the cleaning. All children need their needs met to build a feeling of security. This family could change some responsibilities around to give mom the time to respond to their daughters needs…won’t be easy,because patterns have been set.Mom does not need to be the one to try having her sleep in her own room,because dad created this bonding routine. They will have to work together & dad needs to be supportive of mom. To help get over this situation, family counseling needs to be brought in. (The tv program Nanny Cam or something is really educational & shows cases that she helped the parents get back in charge & work as a team ,very informative)

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For one thing this is one reason cosleeping is a bad idea…not to mention the possible rolling onto and suffocating a newborn or toddler! … you and him need to get her into her own bed. Also would suggest he take the baby for a few hours a day and you do something with the toddler just the two of you. This will help her restrengthen your relationship with your daughter. She is super attached to her dad because basically she feels ignored by you.
AND a big no no he needs to stop is to not make a big deal if she falls and such. (Unless she is really injured of course)

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You should be happy she has a father that cares so much. Personally I think you’re a little jealous

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This doesn’t seem normal to me at all for all of you saying that!

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Maybe you are a little jealous?

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I’m disgusted by your guys’ judgment to another mother! Seriously you are so quick to jump on her ass for asking a simple question! Do any of you remember what it’s like to be a new mom? She has a legitimate concern! Dad will be going back to work and she will be all alone dealing with 2 and that little girl will have a hard time… this mom needs support not bitches! Hence a SUPPORT group NOT the JUDGMENT group . Im so glad you are all perfect moms here. Shame on you.

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You need to get the bigger child into her own bed pronto. She’s jealous of the new baby too.

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It sounds like ur a little jealous that she goes to him and not u… she’s 2 let her love her dad

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What the heck is a family bed?

From friends I have that are pregnant within their daughter’s toddler years I think this is pretty common. I think people that didn’t experience that close bond with a father tend to think it is over the top for the daughter. As Nadia said, you have to let her have her melt down. She relies on you fine when she knows daddy won’t be home, she’ll have a few weeks of an adjustment period then she’ll become used to the new routine you and your husband set for her. The new baby likely is adding to this. She likely feels forgotten by you. What I did with my daughter after my son was born is she would help mommy work out (I would lay back on the bed with my feet up and lift her in the air) and it let her know mommy was still there for her, too despite the baby getting most of mom’s attention (she wasn’t as close with her father, but knowing she is still important and loved by you will still also help this - I had an uncle I would act like that with who lived across the street and I have friends dealing with now or recently dealt with this). Kids get jealous of their baby wobbling and dad is doing what dad’s do to help. Unfortunately, that means mom gets the brunt. Have daddy hold both at the same time so she can see that he loves them equally as well. Maybe the combo will help. Good luck!

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It good for her she will be more well adjusted

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I think you might need professional help.
He sounds like an amazing father with a strong bound with his children. If you think that, that is wrong you should see someone about your irrational jealously

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Where is the NANNY person who can help this family out.

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Omg , shes loved by her parent …what’s wrong with you that seems a problem?

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This is not an unhealthy attachment

worse mastake ever to let kids sleep in bed with you

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She failed to say, new baby boy or girl???

Sounds like dad is meeting her physical and emotional needs. He is expressing empathy when she’s upset. He’s showing her affection verbally and physically. If you (mom)are not doing this for her, children gravitate to who meets their needs. This is not unhealthy. Maybe you are tired from New baby and are resentful of the attention she’s getting. That’s unhealthy for her. I do think lovingly set a bedtime routine in her own bedroom. Then you will have the time to share infant with husband and get some sleep.

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You’re literally complaining that you think she’s too attached to him? Is being too attached to a father even a real thing?
Consider yourself fortunate your child has a father.
My children lost their Daddy 2 years ago… I wish I had this “problem” …and I know that my babies with they had their Daddy to snuggle up to…
Smh

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She’s 2! She needs attachment. Something you were but couldn’t do anymore to being sick and pregnant, no judgement ther I get it. However you daughter needs it obviously. Lots of changes have happened, you’re not available and he is. Makes perfect sense. Try and make time for her to help with the baby, to spend time and attention directed at her when having the baby too. Read books, watch a show, play with stuffed animals. Whatever floats her boat. When you hand of baby, take that as time to bond with your daughter again. Her attachment to your hubby are so strong because you’re unavailable. Make yourself avaialble and she will balance out. It’s rough, I have 4. First 2 were 18 months apart. Then a second pair with the oldest being teenagers and these 2 are currently 3 and 10 months. Our 3yr old is super needy, clingy etc. Was a every 30min during the day breastfeeder, had to touch skin to sleep. Utterly exhausting. But once I looked at it from his perspective that it was simply what he needed (because nothing worked to convince him otherwise) it became easy. He’s made huge strides since then, calmed down, will put himself down for naps now at times, still sleeps with hubby but on his own. I now cherish his super cuddlyness. His exuberance amd need to be involved. Shift your thinking. You’re her mom and she needs it.

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Sounds like you are just jealous of their bond honestly…he seems like a wonderful father…maybe she’s getting the attention from him because you are unavailable to her.

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His reaction doesn’t sound exaggerated at all. She’s little and she’s still learning. Positive reinforcement is good, even if it’s something as simple as kissing a boo boo. If a child gets hurt or is upset, their natural instinct is to turn to their parents for affection. If you want my honest opinion you need to be a little more patient with her. She’s probably wanting to be with him more because he’s giving her the love and the attention she wants from you. Having a new baby at home is just as stressful for a child as it is for you. Please keep that in mind. Try to include her in helping with the baby and spend a little time with her.

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Wow! I just cant believe some of these comments! The kid screams anytime the dad is away from her. That’s not healthy. My daughter is definitely a “Daddy’s girl” but she doesn’t scream and pitch a fit when he’s not around. It has nothing to do with jealousy. She’s legitimately concerned because when dad goes back to work she’ll have a newborn AND a screaming toddler! I hope the next time you all ask for advice you are shown more kindness than what you gave.

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I have never read so many judgmental posts on Facebook. The lady asks for some help, and y’all sound like…I don’t even know what. She’s navigating new waters, exhausted with a new baby and a toddler, and all y’all think to tell her is she’s jealous?
Dear original poster, please, go find help someplace else. Women are not know to be supportive of other women

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Daddys are a girls first love… you are being JEALOUS…HA HA. Bless their hearts :two_hearts:.

Put your toddler in her own bed, which is where she should always have been. Tell your stupid husband he started the shit…now fix it! You’re hands are full with a newborn. I know you have to give time to the older one too, but good old dad made that a problem. Again, him going back to work before he fixes this problem wouldn’t happen in my house, he needs to take some responsibility and reverse his overprotective, cuddling, obnoxious behavior to the point of normalcy. Can you even imagine ever getting to go out for a night and having to leave this screaming brat with a sitter. You don’t sound jealous to me, just sick of it which is understandable cause it’s pretty sickening!

Projection much. You will make a psychotherapist rich one day.

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New baby. A king her insecure. Give her time and make sure she helps with baby.

Someone sounds jealous

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I’m shocked at so many unhelpful comments here. Some of you are being horrible.
PM me if you want to talk further about this problem author, as I will show you respect support and most of all kindness that all us parents deserve as parenting is challenging at times.

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Well the is just an observation but that sounds exactly like the way my son is with me and it is just accepted by all that he is a mamas boy.

I think your daughter is fone. She will grow out of it. And research suggest that a daughter with a close bond with her father is more likely to succeed in noth her professional and family life later on.
I think you might be over reacting just a little. I promise she will grow out of it.

To be honest I don’t see it has unhealthy but more like he is being soft. Maybe tell him to be a little be more firm. Allow her to sit next to him not on his lap etc. Gradual independence. And get him to include you in their games. Etc. And just grow your bond with her. I know it’s hard I had a toddler and newborn too. Try to be patient.

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Daddy’s girl! So sweet!!! Let them enjoy each other! I was a daddy’s girl and to this day have the best relationship with my daddy!! It’s very healthy! As a teenager she won’t run to boy after boy looking for the love and attention her daddy didn’t give her.

It sounds like the bigger issue is that she isn’t attached to you and I definitely hear some jealousy in this post… Not just the love she has for daddy but the attention he gives her takes away from your attention. Before long she will be grown and not want all the extra lovin and you’ll miss it… Trust me!!!

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She will adjust!
My daughter is the exact same way and is just finally getting back to routine. Our son is 3 months old.

Just love her and accept that sometimes there’s some battles not worth fighting over. It may help if you try explaining to her what’s going on. My daughter will cry when my husband leaves for work at 4am (we also bed share) so I explain to her that daddy is just going to work like he does every day.

This is one of the main reasons I wouldnt allow co sleeping. I run around all day taking care of our child, my fiance and I deserve to have some alone time for us and to simply get a break. We also don’t make a big deal if she falls, we usually laugh or go ooopsie. We just don’t make a big deal out of much and our daughter follows suit. Maybe try that? Although I feel this is something you have to do from the beginning.

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So you are upset cause your daughter loves her dad and he takes care of her? Sounds like they have a tight bond. :woman_shrugging:t2:

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She’s 2 … she’s still a baby herself … I think it’s wonderful that she has this attachment to “your husband” who is also “her father” … Maybe include her as your little helper and tell her how much you love her and are so happy she’s with you … when the baby is sleeping you can have cuddle time or together cleanup time …

Maybe get ur husband to give her a Teddy tell her that when daddy not there Teddy can mind her its gonna take a while to break the habit of her over compensating, but its lovely they have such a close bond I think your right that she needs to be able to self soothe when he’s not around

She’s just got a Sib and she loves her Daddy. Remember those memes about Mums never being able to go to the loo in peace? She needs time to settle too. He needs to work on her sleeping by herself but otherwise you just sound jealous, sorry.

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Try getting a toddler bed and put it beside his side of the bed and let her hold his arm/hand. And get a pillow case made with a pic of him and her so she always have him beside her good luck :+1:t2::four_leaf_clover:

I bet the dad would’ve extremely upset to see this post. Unhealthy ? Don’t make the man out to be a creep just for doting on his daughter. He probably feels like he is helping you by keeping the toddler calm while you tend to the baby. You can’t have your cake and eat it too. Damn him for loving her too much !! :weary: that’s messed up. There are woman who would kill for that kind of help ! And in my opinion co-sleeping is always a bad idea cause they never want to sleep in there own bed. She is probably seeking more love and affection from him because you have to be :100: focused on baby. Instead of letting it bother you maybe be more loving and affectionate as well and she will see she is still important. And I think it’s an awesome idea to let her help with the baby. She will adjust when dad goes back to work. New routines are always hard at first for everyone but she will see that’s how it is and adjust I’m sure. It won’t be easy at first but she won’t be traumatized lol hang in there momma!

Try bonding more with your daughter…

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This is literally my daughter with me, I do not over exaggerate when she falls over and etc. But she sleeps with me and when I’m not in sight she loses it. Is what it is, kids only know that mommy and daddy are safe places.

I dont understand why some people are being so hateful. Most of us know how hormones are when you are pregnant and after you have a baby. Having a child cry nonstop over something like this can be frustrating. Please author if you need to talk or vent, message me. I have been in your shoes before. It’s hard. If you can sit down and talk to your husband and help your child gain some more independence. There is nothing wrong with a child loving a parent but if the parent cant even leave the room without crying, something needs to happen.

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First off I feel you struggling. My now 10 year old slept with me since March because I took in a baby… what you need to do is spend time with her yourself, have her help with the new baby. Shes looking for attention and daddy gives her the extra attention. As for her not sleeping alone I did read someone mentioned a teddy bear id try that too. If you want help since I’ve read alot of unhelpful rude people you can pm anytime. To vent to talk to try to figure something out. I currently have 4 kids and 2 are my bio kids this all happened in March and its just me so it was a transition for all of us. Im here for you

Why don’t you try to bond with your daughter. Sounds to me like he’s been the primary nurturer for her and when she is seeking comfort that’s who she goes to. It’s not unhealthy or abnormal. Kids thrive on routine and if he normally puts her to bed that’s what she’s going to want every night, my son was the same way with me until my husband took the time to build that same bond. It takes patience but it’s worth it. Try to understand too that for a toddler having a new baby to share space, love and affection with can be hard to accept. I would get her involved with helping with the baby in any way possible. Even little things like asking her to bring you a diaper. This may give her a sense that she’s a big girl and help her mature a little quicker. Talk to your doctor about PPD as well, it can manifest as something mild like feelings of being overwhelmed and progressively get worst, never hurts to talk about it.

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Be grateful hes even there!!!

Single mom life aint easy lemme tell youuuu

Seriously people, how can you all be so cruel? THIS is why we lose so many mammas to PPD and PPA, because they don’t want to share their feelings for fear of judgment and harsh words like this that only make it worse. Is the relationship “unhealthy”? Maybe that’s not the right word, but she still needs help and compassion! Have you all so easily forgotten how difficult the newborn stage is? And she’s doing it all by herself for the most part. When hubby goes back to work she will have a newborn and a very unhappy toddler and she’s seeking advice for that transition. If you don’t have something nice to say, keep it to yourself.

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I’m confused, this is a bad thing because… what? She just loves her daddy. I dont see the problem. She’s not going to be that little forever. She just wants all daddy’s love.

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Um, I thought that’s called parenting? Imo she just loves her daddy (daddy’s girl) and you sound jealous. :woman_shrugging:

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You and your husband need to get on the same page. Thats for certain. Everyone parents differently

But seeing all this coddling explains why there are so many entitled brats today. Yes I said it. The world is harsh and cruel. Keep coddling your children and they WILL NEVER MOVE OUTTA YOUR FUCKING BASEMENT.

that being said. Have dad pull back a little so that it makes room for your bonding time. Its hard for toddlers. Be loving. But also. Mom and dad are the boss. Toddlers will terrorise you if you let them think they are in charge.

No.

Youre the boss.

Daughters are naturally more drawn to their fathers. This happens for many reasons but mostly because a father does treat a daughter more softly than he would a son. Men feel like little girls are fragile and they know they are more emotional so they try to always appease them. It’s totally normal. Sons are definitely more attatched to their mothers. That’s why we have the sayings daddy’s girl and momma’s boy. Lol Your daughter only being 2 means she is still developing her own personality. Give her some time and she will adjust to him being gone.

Wow everyone is so mean. I think the dad is just trying to be a good dad with that being said it can be hard when you have 2 babies but only 1 is getting all the attention. My suggestion would be start a new bed time routine. Let Dad give her bath read a book and tuck her in bed and maybe a stuffy. She will fight it at first she will scream and cry that when mom can go in and comfort her and let her know you are there but it’s bed time. Mom not dad as soon as she sees dad it will be even worse and he’ll probably cave.

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It’s probably going to be rough for a little while where she just got a new sibling.

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Why is it unhealthy? It’s very sweet for a father and daughter to have that kind of bond. I think I see some jealousy shining thru!

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Our middle child still acts out since new baby , hang in there she will transition. Having dad around a lot was probably really nice and different for her . As long as nothing weird is happening I would just explain to your husband you think she’s being a lil spoiled . Good luck

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Honey lemme tell you something, I’m not being mean but that’s normal
My son is attached severely to his father and I. His dad and i got back together and when his dad goes to work he’ll scream all day long for his daddy, if I even go somewhere where he cant see me he freaks out
It’s natural, babies sometimes favor the other period for a while then switch back to the other
Try bonding with her, when your husband takes the baby, when she starts crying instead of getting upset, tell her to come to you and you’ll hold her until her daddy comes back, try to bond with her some more, I know it’s not easy with a new baby but itll get better, just give it time, she might be acting out because this new little baby is taking y’alls attention away from her but that’s normal
little girls are more drawn to their daddies and little boys are drawn to their mamas. And if you ever need someone to talk to feel free to message me I’m a SAHM so my inbox never closes

We just had a new baby and our toddler cries to sleep with us… we just make her lay down by herself… we read her books for bed time and let her watch a show inc… what she is doing is normal and very healthy. Y’all just have to stand ur ground… let her cry it out a few night if u must after bed time story’s and snuggles if u need to… y’all will just have to NOT CAVE!!

Shes 2 years old. When the baby tales a nap carve out a spot just for her. Paint her nails. Draw a picture… What ever it it is do it TOGETHER. and give her a break. She went from having all the attention to divided attention. She needs reassurance

You sound jealous of your own daughter, or hateful towards her because she doesn’t sleep or do what you want her to.
Let the kid love her dad and be happy her dad is willing to be there to raise her, you want to complain about having to do it on your own at 5 am… :face_with_raised_eyebrow::face_with_raised_eyebrow: some have to do it all by themselves all the time. Get over yourself a realize how lucky you are.

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With a newborn, every child gets a bit jealous. She’s craving the extra attention and daddy is giving it to her. Maybe he’s seeing it as “ok I’ll help with the older one so mom isn’t dealing with both.” There’s not a lot of dads willing to help so she’s lucky and so are you.
It’s all new! For everyone! maybe try giving your oldest a bit more attention and cuddles so she feels comfortable enough that your attention will soothe her a bit more when dad is with baby (this way she can feel comfy/soothed enough to sleep by you with no fuss).
Also it might help to try to include her more. (This helped out tremendously with my boys)
Give her more attention than baby. No I’m not saying neglect baby but like… Let’s say you’re changing baby. Ask her if she wants to help. When she does, say “thank you so much! you’re such a big girl thank you for helping me! Your sibling is clean and fed now would you like to play with me?! We can read a story or play with your toys” (seek HER out so she feels wanted instead of her seaking YOU out and feel like she’s having to compete for attending)
We have to remember kids feelings are so strong. And their world is so small. To us a bad day is thing after thing after thing going wrong. To them, it’s something as simple as “I didn’t get to use my fav cup today.” So “mommy didn’t pay attention to me/snuggle me” might be a bigger thing to her in her world than you might think.
If we don’t listen to the small things now, they won’t come to us with the big things when they’re older.

I wish people would stop bashing one another. She asked for advice, not for you to place judgement on her.

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And how are you with her… sounds like you don’t even have a relationship with her and he is having to play both mom and dad

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She has learned how to play him, and you.

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Wow yall too much tho…

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Start including your daughter in baby things. Like have her help change the baby or pick out an outfit for him_her

He’s being a good dad. Damn, most women would be happy to have a man so involved with their kid. It won’t last forever. Let him love it. You guys will adapt. Just lighten up a bit.

I don’t agree with the other comments at all. It doesn’t seem like jealousy to me. You are overwhelmed and are needing help. I would talk to your husband and let him know that when he goes back to work it’s just you and the kids. He needs to help before the transition. He needs to have a backbone :roll_eyes:
I had to tell my MIL not to hold my baby constantly because when she leaves it just me and him. I couldn’t be holding a baby from sun up to sun down.
There needs to be a balance

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Focus on what works for you at home with both kids. Just you and the kids with this transition. The newborn has immediate needs, then the toddler, then you - and it’ll suck until you find a new flow. Make a routine to say goodbye to daddy in the morning then stay up for awhile and get two naps in later. Know your toddler will be out of your hair when daddy comes home so you just have baby. Newborns need their mamas, so it’s kind of good she’s a daddy’s girl. It’s hard sharing parenting, especially when you feel tied down by two so young. Remember this is temporary and life will look different in 3 months, 6 months. Your toddler will be in mourning when daddy goes back to work, so keep that in mind, mama. Sending you strength! It’s normal to be crabby, jealous, and short tempered: he leaves and your home with crying kids on different schedules when you’re recovering yourself. Put that aside where you can, put aside people’s advice and society precepts, ignore housework and don’t make a lot of appointments. Just focus on what works for you an hour, then a day at a time.

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She is 2 years old !! I have a 11 2 and 4 year old it’s hard at times, but she is literally still a baby… You sound kind of hateful. Be grateful for how LUCKY you are

He is just being a good dad maybe if you did the same stuff with her it wouldn’t be so bad after all she’s still a baby to but from what you say you expect her to be an adult try treating her like a child I kissed my kids bobos and rocked them as I hope your parents did for you maybe the reason she loves her daddy so much is because he gives her what she needs and you don’t I don’t see any problem which her or him but you on the other hand seem to be selfish and jealous it’s not all about you just so you know

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Your daughter has had a lot of significant change in her life over the past 6-7 months. She’s dealing with it in the best way she knows how. Let her be for now, she’ll grow out of this.

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Most girls are daddy girls

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Shes a TODDLER. You just had a NEWBORN. She is going to be jealous and cling to one parent more than the other. Ya know the one whose showimg the most positive ATTENTION. It’s just as new to her as it is to you two. You guys need to figure out a schedule so they both are getting show positive attention by BOTH of you.

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I don’t sense any jealousy at all. I don’t think you don’t have a relationship with your daughter. I just think your husband babies her so she has learned to “play” your husband and get what she wants. She (the two year old) obviously is jealous of the baby so wants that comfort at night from her dad. I think starting the transition NOW will be beneficial. Start getting her in her own bed. Let her scream for a little bit. Start explaining to her that her dad will be leaving before she wakes up. The first ~3 nights are rough with the transition but she’ll get used to it. Just keep at it. Don’t give up. And don’t listen to the hateful moms on here. You’re just tired and need a break, I guess they don’t understand that!

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My daughter does this with her dad…mostly cause i work 12-18 hour days and he stayed home for a year with her. Her brother has the attachment to me…daddys girls mamas boys…sounds like a normal household considering big changes the child has went through. As far as the spouse, sit down with him and tell him. Come up with a game plan.

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I’m not seeing how she’s lucky :thinking: because the dad is… being a dad? :woman_shrugging:t2: she’s overwhelmed with a newborn and jealous toddler and needs time to herself.
You need to find a routine with your husband. I’d have him take the newborn more and hangout with your toddler some. I had this issue with my oldest when my second was born (I have 5 kids) and I would use my “me” time to soak my feet in the tub or something and have my toddler do it with me… maybe paint nails or something. When I’d change a diaper or something I’d ask my oldest to choose an outfit or something. I also was sharing the bed with both kids but moved my oldest to a big girl bed she picked out shortly after the baby was born… it was too much and she was becoming too reliant on us and had no sense of independence. She’s now 12 and is independent, loving and helps with the newest baby. Sounds like your husband needs to stop coddling so much. There’s a difference between loving and coddling.

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She daddy girl get over it. It’s part of parent hood shes 2 pretty much a baby herself. Technically he is giving you break hes constantly with toddler helping take care her showing her love while u take care newborn. If she’s waking baby up have them sleep in front room or have him start sleep training her in her bed.

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It will all work out in the end you will get there love as for all the nasty negative comments some people are just plain nasty ignore them if they cant say anything positive or nice lm sure you are just a young mum trying to do her best and I’m sure you will

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Start spending more time with her, she’s 2. You really can’t get mad that hes being a good dad to her and is spending time with her. You sound jealous for real.

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Unhealthy attachment :woman_facepalming: my kids stick to my leg 1 day and there dads the next i wouldnt say its unhealthy.you sould very jealous to me

from your post, i can see why she prefers to be around the father. it seems you’re a bit callous and cold. At the age of 2, a bumped knee is a crisis. maybe not to you,but to her. and as a parent, he is doing what he is supposed to. maybe its you who needs to rethink the way you handle the children. theres a reason why both of them prefer him over you, its the way he handles them and situations. it’s obvious hes a good father, it sounds like nothing more than parental jealousy to me.

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Theres a lot going on here…
First it’s important to recognize that your husband is her dad being attached to a parent isn’t “unhealthy” in the way you mean and I highly doubt that you would be so concerned if she was that attached to you. And to that end I do sense a bit of jealousy. Whether that’s because you’re not getting her attention or his I cant be sure but it’s there at least a little bit.

Second. Your older child is two. She just went through a MAJOR life change…yes new siblings are a major life change for a two year old. A lot of children regress when a sibling enters the picture…both during the end of pregnancy and after the birth. It’s really not all that uncommon. You have to remember shes two. Shes a toddler. She doesnt know how to express herself…even if shes verbal her feelings are too complicated for the words she has. And your husband is showing her positive attention and affection.

Third, you may want to blame your husband but I’d also start looking at yourself. Have you become distant? What one-on-one time have you made for her? How much have you comforted and reassured her?
This clinginess doesn’t happen over night and doesnt just happen because one parent is “babying” them either.

Fourth, as far as not getting a break welcome to the transition from one child to two. You dont have two young children and expect to get breaks like you are. Sorry but my oldest was 4 when I had my youngest. Very very rarely did either of us get alone time for a while. One of us almost always had at least one child. Especially during the newborn phase.

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Am I the only one who thinks its just a tad bit odd that Dad sleeps in the bed with his 2y.o daughter every single night? :thinking:

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