My daughter used to kinda manipulate her dad because he was so affectionate. If you have an issue with their relationship maybe try to nurse the relationship between you and your daughter. Sometimes, step in and hug her or show her that you care too. He doesn’t have to stop showing her love and attention so that you can do it too. It sounds like there might be some resentment of some sort brewing here. Talk to someone about it (like a mental health professional)
Shes 2, and living through a pandemic, which is difficult on everyone. Her dad is now home all the time, her mommy was sick a lot and now she has a new sibling.
Shes a little girl, with big feelings. She will need help navigating that. And she needs a safe place for it. Right now its daddy. Next month it could be you.
Since there has been so much change in a short amount of time, whatever you do needs to be slow. Both parents on board with whatever the change is.
Now my experience. My daughter is 2 years older than my son. I struggled with 2 kids under 3. My baby had colic for 12 months, my hubby worked 3rd shift, and I didnt really have any help. I’d go 2.5 days without sleep, and never slept longer than an hour at a time. I remember specifically, it being my birthday, my husband was playing with my daughter (2 at the time), and holding my son (3 months old) and both kids were happy, not crying, and just being little Angel’s. I was mad. Because hormones. Because the baby wasnt crying for once. Because my husband made it look easy. Because I was exhausted.
Now I know our situations arent the same. But I feel your frustration.
If your daughter has been fine with hubby running errands, then she will be fine when he goes back to work. If you are worried, maybe ask a trusted person to come for a few hours each day for hubbys first week back. It’s a juggle finding what works for your family, but you will find what works. You got this mama!
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Be thankful you have a 2 parent home and a loving caring father to your all’s child. It’s called being a Daddy’s girl He won’t always be home with her so let them have their bonding time together. I mean seriously!
Welcome to motherhood with a toddler and baby! It will get better. Be patient and sleep whenever you can.
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kid in her own bed. healthy boundaries- morning snuggles are fine- but night time you sleep in your own bed
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Since you were sick and her dad was the caregiver she will gravitate more towards him. Maybe just you and her can go out to the park or spend time together so you can start building that mother daughter bond. That way she will see that its okay to have a healthy relationship with both of her parents.
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Its awesome that the daughter an father have that bond an nowadays it’s rare for a father to be there all the time if any but that little girl needs her own space an definitely does not need to be sleeping with the father
I think this is very normal. Kids will often become very attached to one parent or the other at different times in their childhoods. I’m not saying it’s EASY, by any means, but it’s normal. There’s some very good advice here for you about helping your “big girl” cope by herself a little better, but there’s a chance she’ll always be a daddy’s girl, which isn’t a bad thing to be. I’ve got a 25yo who can be comforted by her dad like none other!
Have your kids sleep in their own beds and stop thinking it’s a bad thing for a father to love his child. I just feel like the OP is just overwhelmed to having a toddler and an infant. But seriously "an unhealthy attachment " especially since “he has been home since march” I think he must be military?
I’m so glad my kids are grown!! Those were the best and the hardest of times.
sleeping with 5 year old is a bad habit need to figure something out for that each kid is different mine I tell him nope not today we pick days he can sleep in our room the bed doesn’t have room for 3 it is size full and we are a family of 5 we don’t all fit in the bed 2 teens and a toddler and 2 adults nope that is mission impossible for movie night in our room but they all have sleeping bags and camp in the room until the movie finish and then ever one to there bed .
“Unhealthy attachment” to her father? What am I missing? That’s her daddy. All toddlers have meltdowns, this is totally normal. Just so happens it’s not mommy in this case.
I don’t see this as unhealthy. My son developed a pretty similar attachment to my husband since he’s been home for the COVID pandemic. They get used to them not being home and she’s obviously loving the attention she gets from him because she may not be getting that same attention from mom. It’ll be rough at first when dad goes back to work but once he does just make sure she knows he’s there in the house and if she wakes up at night he can comfort her then put her back in her own bed.
Sounds perfectly fine, my daughter was nearly two when I had my second baby… my heart was broke she totally ignored me for weeks and everything was daddy!! All changed then when her little brother was more alert and she was helping me change wash him etc!
Might be your husband. But it’s her father!! My husband died when my kids were little and I would give anything for them to be able to have a dad like this!! Sounds like a great dad!!! Sounds like your jealous of your own daughter, cause she loves her dad!!! Get over yourself.
First of all get rid of the family bed and make her learn to sleep on her own. That’s what’s causing the problem. Second off make plans to have a daughter and mommy day and enjoy the day with her.
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It is normal for a child to bond with a care giver and not unsual for Them ot chooseo e care giver over another. It is ftten the mom. In this case it is her Dad. Not a big deal. As far as going to bed goes I would do as others suggested and let her cry it out. She needs to start sleeping in her own room it will be hard at frist but you all need sleep. When I did this with my daughter it took about a week and she was sleeping through the night.
The TV show Nanny just did a newer show about a family with two Moms an one child only wanted to be with one Mom. You might try to watch it and see how Nanny Jo helped them. Good luck to you.
Pretty normal, everything is changing for your two year old too. She now has to share mommy and daddy and she’s not used to that. It will get better. Try to have her be your helper with the new baby.
They gr[w up so fast enjoy it soon she is going to be a pre and a teenager good luck
She is a daddy’s girl! It seems like the unhealthy part is the mother’s spite towards their bond. I think it’s adorable and you should commend your husband for being there and supporting her little emotions because it is important.
I have no advise. I just want to say I am so sorry people are calling you jealous. I fully understand your concern and think it’s valid. I hope you get it figured out. People are rude! You are awesome mama! Props for asking for help, don’t let Karen bring you down!!!
Yes first don’t have anymore kids, second get into a routine these days will pass .At least your husband is showing them love.
Unhealthy is if he is not doing it. Thank God you.have carrying husband. There is a lot of children out there that would love to have a dad like that. Just saying.
He sounds like an awesome Daddy! I had the complete opposite with my 2 girls & both have Daddy issues. Blew them off more than 13 years ago, is now paying back child support & only lives 5 miles away! No phone calls either! Just a loser. Be happy your husband is attentive towards her. He’s teaching her how she should always be treated!!
You have no idea what a great husband and father to your babies you have. Maybe he feels like you are on the end of the spectrum and doesn’t want his daughter to feel the way you make her feel.
Both of you need to be present and put her to bed at a decent hour in her own bed. Every time she gets up talk to her about why it’s not okay in words she can understand and both put her back to bed. Then when she starts to get the hang of it start switching nights one puts her to bed while the other doesn’t until she’s comfortable with both of yall taking turns. It Definitely is hard to go from co sleepin to independent sleeping. I made the mistake with my toddler out of necessity not out of choice. We literally had to share a bed where we were at for a bit then it became our normal took me about a month as I was a single mom and had a newborn as well. Just dont give up. If she starts having a meltdown have him talk to her and tell her no we arent doing that tonight. Once she Realizes he isnt going to baby her all the time she will respond better. Its not normal for her to have a meltdown for him just going to the bathroom unless she’s terrified of you for some reason.
Really Karen? Pay attention mom hes over protective… we start teaching our children from a early age fall down u say it’s ok ur okay brush it off ull know the difference between getting really hurt and not pay attention that’s my advice and no u dont have to take it
They are only little once. Be thankful that he is there and so involved and showing your little girl what to expect from a man. You couldn’t ask for more. It won’t last forever and you’ll wish for these times back.
She is being a typical 2 year old. He sounds like a good dad. Maybe pregnancy and a new baby have affected your emotions.
She will adjust! It may take a few days but it will be ok. Taking the bottle away or potty training etc takes longer than a day but it all works out.
Sounds to me like you have a 2 y.o. running the house. Unfortunately as long as your husband continues to cater to her every whim there isn’t much you can do. Maybe counseling for you and your husband, so that you guys can get on the same page raising the children.
Haha all the lack of compassion in this world, how bout you take the time to give it to them. If you don’t wanna that’s fine, but dad is doing what a lot of dads out there should be doing. Your kids should always feel like you got there backs, and when they are small, they need that even more. Plus, the kids will grow out of that, and think hugs from dad will be too embarrassing.
She’s having to adjust not to having 100% of your attention. Little ones don’t understand why your attention is elsewhere. Give her a break and have a discussion with your husband. See if you can’t work something out. Or when he’s no longer home with you guys, she’s gonna have more problems.
Wow Karen you lived up to your name didn’t you…
Try to talk with your husband about her behavior not being acceptable and come together to make a list of rules that u both implement outburst and separation anxiety is normal at 2 3 and 4 to an extent but she needs both of u working together and she is going to be jealous of the baby that too is normal but give her the job to bring u diapers and such to be a help and feel wanted an needed because she’s such a big girl give lots of praise for the good behavior and time out for bad behavior
Allowing a child to scream and cry untill he/she gets her way is not a good idea. Boundaries must be set for the overall well being of the whole family.
Your husband needs to change it up especially the coddling at night…She will probably grow out of it herself as she gets older but he really should lay back a bit
My son was like that with me. She is 2 cut her some slack. And she probably has separation anxiety. It is normal.
I now have Boxer #5, but the first, Apollo was the most special. He and I had a special bond that has not been replaced
Why is the two year old in your bed? Move the child to her own room . The transition will be loud for awhile but soon she will learn to sleep alone.
Well you have not ben able to play with her like he has. She wil probably stay that way and a while after the new baby comes.
She will come around.
Actually - to really fire everyone up - my late father was the Chief Coroner for our county, considered an expert on SIDS and was 100% against family beds. Not safe. And there were sad tales to bear out his opinion . . . .
She’s only 2 let her have her daddy they grow up so fast
She’s going through adjustments too with a new sibling. Give her lots of attention, they’re only little once.
she has taken control and you have let her because she tantrums, put your foot down and make her understand that NO means no, shes will stop screaming eventually when it gets her no attention
Normal…be happy you have a loving father figure
Children usually have a “favorite parent”. Nothing is going to change it, you just have to deal with the transition.
How is that unhealthy? Thats her father FFS! Would you feel the same if it where with you? God forbid she is a daddy’s girl! 🤦🏼♀🙄
Children should not sleep with parents unless they are sick
Put the toddler in her own room. Thats the only problem in this whole situation
It’s not unhealthy he’s just babying her. He should stop now or she’ll always be like that
An excellent father. No judging needed.
Sounds like the green eyed monster is approaching.
Your daughter should be in her own bed
Actually the parents need to put boundaries on this now.
Bro… she’s two. She’s still a baby.
Just because you lack the motherly instinct and your husband is picking it up doesn’t mean they have an unhealthy relationship…
But co sleeping past the newborn stage isn’t good or recommend, and even during the newborn stage isn’t recommended either but I get it.
You should definitely, try to understand that your 1st born is still young, and a baby herself, and I’m sure there is some jealousy over the new baby.
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Baby in a crib, toddler in her own bed and mom and dad in their bed.
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I realize you have a “family” bed, however, maybe it is time your toddler has her own toddler bed. It will take a lot of patience, a good, relaxing routine (bath, story, Monster check under the bed and closet, tuck in, kiss, lights out, crack the door open, “love you and good night”) There will be meltdowns for a while (when these start let her know if there is a tantrum, there will be no story. I bet she won’t throw the tantrums for long when there is a good story at stake!). Let her pick out her bedding and fun pillows. Let her pick a special Snuggly to sleep with. She will learn to fall asleep by herself. She won’t wake up when Daddy has to use the restroom. He will be able to go potty in peace (poor man!), and the two of you can get a better night’s sleep! I couldn’t sleep with any of my babies! We had 4 of them, and while I could sleep with their crib in our room, I couldn’t get comfortable enough to sleep with a baby in our bed. My husband likes thick, heavy blankets and lots of pillows to help him sleep, and I could just see our baby getting smothered to death with them. Our babies learned to sleep separate (yet, in the same room) from us, so the transition to toddler beds was quite smooth. I did do “monster” checks, we lived in an area that had quite a few earthquakes and my oldest just knew her bed jumped around because of monsters and NOT the earthquakes!
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Sounds like a kind loving father.
Sounds like a good daddy. I wish my kids father was around.
You sound jealous and your husband sounds like a wonderful father.
This is extremely unhealthy and certainly not normal. Don’t let anyone tell you it is. She’s far too attached to him and needs to learn to sleep in her own bed. Let her have her meltdown. Let her wail and cry…in her own room. You’re not hurting or neglecting her. It will be hard for a while but she will get over it, quickly. Reassure her of course but let her throw her tantrums. She will learn they won’t get her anywhere. Being a daddy’s girl is one thing but this goes beyond that. And screw the haters screaming jealousy. This isn’t normal behavior at all.
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Cant have it all about you Momma, put baby in a cot next to your side so baby can sense you there, put your hand in if it starts crying, and the screamer beside you in bed. I dont think you paid her much attention she loves it as all little ones do. Nothing abnormal there When you have babies it’s all about them not you, you are supposed to be the pacifier and dad.
The show is super nanny
You need to watch super. Nanny
Ok my daughter is 2 and she had a strong attachment to me. She loved her dad but it was me she wanted all the time. She slept with me as well. Of course her father didn’t live with us and she only saw him 2 times a week. So I was the only constant in her life. She wanted to sleep with me because that’s where she felt safe. But in your case she should sleep in her own bed. When I transitioned my daughter I had to rock her to sleep and then gently lay her in bed. I put a body pillow in her bed to trick her into thinking I was in there
Get dad on the same page and get her in her own bed!
I’m sorry. Your a stay at home mom, have only two children, a husband who supports you helps with the kids and you’re complaining? My advice to you is grow up and be grateful for what you have. Oh, and don’t have any more children if you can’t handle the two you already have.
Your children need their own beds.
There is some really bad advice in this thread. Some of it potentially harmful on an emotional scale. So please do what feels right to you and your husband.
My husband and I did attachment parenting before it was even labeled that. We always used positive reinforcements, let them make decisions, and we have 3 very successful independent adult children who have very healthy relationships with us and each other.
So now that you already co sleep/share a bed you will need to handle this different than someone who did not parent this way. You can’t just cold turkey throw her in her room to cry it out.
Having a bond with both of you is important so therefore your husband will need to encourage her through words and action. Positive words go a long way. Ex:your mommy and I love you and baby so much, you are mommy’s little helper I am so proud of how you help mommy with your baby sister/brother. Also, dad needs to start taking to her about work. Ex: I am very excited to go to work, I really like my job, I can’t wait to see my friends, and after work I get to come home and see you and mommy and baby. And you could say for example: what would you like to do when daddy is at work and baby is napping? Then give her at least two choices to pick from. Something fun of course.
Engaging in family activities together will help too.
Dad needs to show you and baby affection in front of her. Hugs, kisses, I love mommy so much.
When she falls down and he says consoling words he could also say, you are such a brave big girl. Let’s go tell mommy what a big girl you are and get one of mommy’s magic kisses.
Before bed both of you should talk to her about different scenarios. If baby wakes up and needs daddy you can ( give her at least 2 choices) stay in bed with mommy or come lay on the couch quietly while I rock baby. This will take practice but she will get use to the choices and she is prepared a head of time.
You will find she will eventually just stop struggling and be fine with staying in bed. Giving kids choices when possible is always a good thing. It helps them make their own decisions. Even picking out their own clothes. I would lay out 2 of everything to choose from.
I wouldn’t call their relationship unhealthy. Just a little unbalanced right now. As long as dad starts including you with positive reinforcements/ words, it will make a huge difference. Even long term. And they will not be in your bed forever 
.If you encourage independence they will just wean right out no problem. Good luck and always stay positive.
You said that you have a family bed so sleeping with dad IS NOT A NEW activity. What seems to be new is: COVID causing Dad to work from home AND a new baby in the house! BOTH OF THESE ARE ENORMOUS to ALL KIDS.
I think you need to appreciate how much your husband loves his family. The two of you should discuss how to handle the sleeping situation but moving the toddler out of your bed at the same time as bringing a new baby into the house probably isn’t the best time to do that bc she will definitely feel like she is being replaced… You will have to find the strength to give her the extra attention she needs right now. She has to know that she is still so very special and that being the first born is super special, etc.
Congratulations on your baby and your loving family.
At 2 1/2 (or once they were in a toddler bed) we instilled the sleeping bag rule. Here goes- “It is ok for you to come into mommy and daddy’s room at night how ever it not ok for you to come in our bed, you have one of your own. So now if you need to be with us, here is your sleeping bag”(place in child’s were they can reach it also pick a spot in your room for it to go Preferably one where you won’t step on your child) “you may bring it into our room and place it on our floor to be closer to us.”
Yes many nights I never even heard my children come in and put their sleeping bag on our floor. But they knew we were there and it was their responsibility the next morning to put their sleeping bag back away if they needed help of course we did. This gives your child independence over their own sleeping habits and yeah after doing it a few times they realize that bringing a sleeping bag into mommy and daddy‘s room is a big job. I would also explain to your toddler about how much work it is for a new baby and show them pictures of when they were little and how much work they were and even though mommy and daddy love them very much the new baby is not as big a child As your toddler is. have your toddler help you out as much as they can during the day maybe grabbing him diaper for you some thing as easy as grabbing a toy for the new baby maybe everyone parents in the kitchen doing some thing here take this to mommy it makes them feel like they are involved. And if you happen to give the new baby a bottle during the day maybe and this is how I got my son to feel like a real big brother have your child your toddler feed the baby with high supervision of course. I just remember him being so proud in that moment and a lot of his outbursts and issues stopped after that.
The toddler needs her on bed and both parents should encourage that for starts also allow the toddler to help with the newborn
Some women have pre-natal anxiety after giving birth. Better consult a counselor. Be firm with her & loving tòo. Don’t worry!
I’ve read enough. Done.
So out of touch Karen
You people are hateful!
Your child is blessed
Your child is blessed
Sounds like a great Dad
Wake up and grow up.
Wish that was my only problem.