Ok…advice needed. Heres the rundown. Family of 5…recently, we had to bring my grown daughter and her son to our home to escape a violent situation. So we now have seven living in our home. I am the only one working. My husband went as far as signing up for instacart( not a job,IMO), but he needs me to activate the card and go with him on trips. He has been unemployed for a year. A whole year. When we agreed to bring our daughter and grandson home, she was all," it’s only temporary, I’ll get a job, I’ll contribute, I’ll help around the house, etc ." Now that she’s here( and has taken over our bedroom!!!) all of a sudden, it’s " I can’t get a job cuz I don’t want anyone babysitting the baby. I can clean because if I am not holding the baby, he gets upset. I’m not ready to live on my own for at least a few years. I don’t do food stamps, WIC, housing, or welfare because it’s stupid and a waste of my time"Ummmmm…what? So what it boils down to is me working, supporting 7( as well as our other grown daughter and her son). I’m the only one cleaning. The only one is doing laundry. The only one washing dishes—the only one is taking care of the cats( none of which is mine). When I pointed this out, all I got was," well, you can work two jobs, right?". It’s to a point where I don’t even want to come home. I resent the hell out of everyone in the house and get so angry coming home to a mess( like literally, they wont even take the trash out…just keep piling it up). This is taking a heavy toll on my mental and physical well being.
There all using you cause your letting them. Call both your husband and daughter and anyone else old enough in your house to help out for a family meeting then lay down the law on how it is going to be… Me personally I would telling my husband to get work now, My daughter you better have a job in a month or your going to have to find someplace else to go. All people old enough can start helping out and doing there share as well. Also as for the animals I’d tell them clean them feed them or there gone. You need to be happy to and sounds like there all taken advantage of you.
I’d be telling everyone to step up or get out. 
especially the husband. Your daughter is capable of either applying for help or getting a job and if she can’t then I’d give 90 days for her to step up.
People only get away with what you let them. Put your foot down now or it will get worse
You need to set limits. They should have been set from the start. Harder to do after the fact. Give a,time limit to be out. No bending or extending. You have done more than enough and your being taken advantage of. Your girls need to grow up, be a productive mom to THEIR children and get out on their own. Tough love. But its needed here.
Move and leave everyone else behind to fend for themselves!
Time to take a break and “disappear” for a week or so. They’ll soon learn… Just like mine did
Put your foot down. Completely unacceptable
Boundaries! Ppl do what u allow…
Id be putten all their asses out. 
Honestly if they’re grown give them an ultimatum do chores and get a job or leave. I was a single mom and lived with my parents, but I immediately got a job (after moving from a different state) and did more than my share of chores. Paid them as well for like “rent, food, utilities” until I was able to move out on my own. They’re grown women and they’re mothers, they need to learn that they can’t mooch off of you forever. It may seem harsh but they obviously need it.
Tell them all that its over ! The daughters with children need to apply for help. The husband needs to pitch in. They need to clean and cook for you while you are at work. Ultimatum time, either pitch in or in 30 days get out !
Tell your daughters they has x amount of time to figure it out or their kids can stay and they can go until they do.
Sit your grown daughters down and tell them to get their asses up and find a job!! Force them to go and sign up for wic and food stamps and what not and give them a time frame of when they need to move out, if they are t going to contribute! Your the mother, not them. My siblings and I, paid my parents rent each month and mostly bought our own food, once we were over 18 and if we were still living at home since it was still cheaper than an apartment. Time to stop tip toeing around and make them grow up
leave for a while and see what happens. DON’T do the cleaning, shopping, cooking etc.
You need to lay down some law. All the adults can house clean. Your husband can babysit while your daughters work. Or they can suck it up and get financial aid. They all need to grow up.
ultimatum time. you have X amount of days to do this&this or this, otherwise its time to go.
Time for tough love, she needs to apply for everything she qualifies for and pitch in, if she doesn’t she has to leave. He should do the Instacart thing while continuously looking for a job. They need to take a physical and mental load off of you ASAP. And get her out of your bedroom. Change the wifi, cancel all the fun stuff, etc. don’t make it fun an easy.
You need a break, Stay at a hotel for a week if you get home and they have literally done nothing kick them all out 
If she can’t work kick her out. You’re allowing this to continue. She definitely shouldn’t be taking over your bedroom. You’re doing her a favor! She needs to be grateful and help out.
Definitely need to put your foot down. They will continue to get away with stepping all over you if you don’t do something and soon. Enough is enough and I believe that you’ve had enough. I have no idea who you are, but prayers for you 
I’d move out on my own, and leave all them to take care of themselves 
Tell her like it is. Contribute or get out. Tell her to file for assistance for her and her child or go without, that you can’t feed everyone. It’s a simple application that can be done online. I understand not always having time to clean with a new baby but she can get at least one chore done a day and pick up after herself.
When I had this sort of situation in my house, I had to threaten to pack stuff up and change the locks. I gave them a timeline to have their affairs in line and a job and house and then as time got closer, they started to feel the pressure, and they did it. Apply that pressure, momma. Praying for you 
Boot everyone out on their ass! Stuff that! There’s a grown man and 2 grown women who could be watching the kids while the other 2 do the housework or go to work, no daycare required. This is the most stupid thing I’ll read today! Ungrateful people! 
First, go take a break away from everyone and do something nice for yourself. 
Then come back with an ultimatum and put your foot down. It’s unacceptable.
Stand up for yourself.
stop raising entitled children. two-inch dead l I ne to move
You got 2 weeks to find a job and get childcare for that baby ir you’re gone. Bye bye
Time for some tough love. Find somewhere to go stay for a few days or week until they change their ways. Tell ur husband to get off his lazy ass and get a job. Alot of places hiring. Same for ur daughter. Who did she think was going to support her and her baby. Take them to a shelter and tell her that is her new home unless things change. Put ur foot down. U will be happier for it and won’t work ursrlf to death!!!
I clean with 3 children, 2 being two years old - Irish twins not twins. So whoever says they don’t have time to clean is full of shit, I cook clean and do laundry and have a job sounds like a YOU problem, enabling this.
I told my kids I love you guys… But when get older you need to help out or do more than play video games. None of that bs going on here.
Oh no, girl. No no no.
Husband can get a job.
Non negotiable.
All other adults in the house can get a job.
Food stamps, WIC, etc. are there to help people who are struggling.
She’s a adult, back home at moms, with a child.
That means she’s struggling.
You are not a maid, a housekeeper, or a cook.
You need to call a family meeting and have a Come to Jesus.
Tell them all that you are DONE doing everything for everyone, and they each have 2 weeks to find employment.
Period.
After that, if no jobs are found, they can rocks. Husband included.
In the meantime, only clean what you use, only do your laundry, and eat before you go home.
Let them figure it out.
Oh, and kick her ass out of your room!
It’s yours, not hers, and she has no right to it.
You need to put your foot down give your grown children and ultimatum. Contribute financially and around the house. You will contribute by social assistance or get a job. Let them know how much you love them but need help because you’re getting overwhelmed and it’s not your responsibility to care for everyone by yourself. You have to sit down with your husband separately and express your concerns/feelings and make him apply to real jobs to help support your family. You could even help him by downloading job apps help him create a resume and get him to start applying.
She can go to a shelter for battered women and children. They’ll help her out so dont feel bad if she decides to go.
Yeah I will tell them all to leave, they are grown, and shouldn’t have had kids if they can’t work to support them. I feel sorry for you.
Oh, and take ur bedroom back. She should be grateful she has a roof over her head!!!
It’s ur daughter she needs you and you also raised her complaining now why? When u have a lazy bum husband and few others living there…give urself a kick up the ass before u try give anyone else…cop on give support and give jobs to all in house and get yer man husband thingy to get a job first then work on ur daughter btw ye both need a hug
The grown kids will continue to do what you allow!! As long as you are giving them & their children a free ride then they’ll take it. Lay down rules like you have x time to get a job. You have to clean. You have to be out at X point!! You are did your part & raised them so you shouldn’t be continuing to raise them & their kids which are their responsibility!!! So it’s take it, do without yourself, be miserable & broke or law down laws for everyone in the home over the age of 18
Leave Them To It, Your Not Responsible For Them. Even your unemployed husband. Run while you can still walk Away!!!
Kick every single one of them out and get a dog.
two jobs…ffs…get off your fat fuc…n ass n get a job…omg, who treats their mother like that. ok, jst get up n move out, get a room n work from there. bank your $$. see who does what?
My husband and I live in different states (we didn’t expect his job transfer to take so long) so we’re paying rent in 2 places plus bills, car payment and insurance, etc. He works 4 jobs ( usps, home depot, uber/door dash and handy man/painter) and I work. There is zero reason for your husband to not be working, period. And as far as the kids not working…put your foot down - they either get jobs or they need to find another place to live. And since you’re footing the bill for everyone to live under your roof there’s no reaaon in hell they should not be helping around the house. Toughen up and put your foot down. You raised your kids and now it’s time for them to act like adults and raise their kids to set a good example. Good luck!
Prayers for you mama. You are in a though spot. Stay strong and raise hell.
I went through this for over 2yrs with living with my dad and then my little sister and her 3 kids, all together with my brood it was 13 and only 2 people helping, I understand and totally am an ear if needed
Tell her and her son to kick rocks
What you allow will continue. Create a plan with deadlines and boundaries. Stick to your plan! It’s for your own piece of mind.
First stop doing anyone else’s laundry just do your own, if you have any little ones have them help you do gheir laundry. Quit shopping and cooking except for yourself and any younger ones just like the laundry. Block hubby from bank account until he gets job. Don’t have a suggestion about garbage. Kick daughter out of your room and put her on a cot
Tough love. Daughter needs to grow up and start supporting herself and child. I would give her a date to either step up or step out.
Husband, I would have already kicked him to the curb. Never put up with a man who won’t work. 
I’m sorry you’re dealing with this, but seriously PUT YOUR FOOT DOWN
Time to give them an ultimatum. And your husband needs to be helping and working. This whole situation is just beyond ridiculous. If they can’t work then they should have assistance coming in and they don’t even want to take that. I’m sorry I’ve been over this a long time ago. Tell them get a job or get the hell out
Cut the wifi. Or the cable. Or whatever it is that’s keeping them from getting off their asses. Make a specific job for each person. Trash, dishes, laundry. Cause eff that. Everyone in there needs tough love and to get their butts in gear. I’d seriously lose it. My 10 year old has the garbage and dishes done. My 5 year old clears the floors. My boyfriend is beside me doing anything else or to give the kids breaks and we work full time. That’s ridiculous. I’d lose it for sure.
Ohh Heck no!! I would just be doing “ME”… come home from your job, make “YOU” some dinner, retreat to a nice long bath with ear plugs if needed… Then off to “MY” room with a good book or tv show again with ear plugs if needed & a locked door. & laundry would only be doing just mine… Sooner or later they will get the hint… In the mean time I would have a list wrote out with each one given certain things to maintain daily & time limit of 2 mths to get your act together & on your own. Sorry but tough love is needed now not later for your own health. Those girls are both able to have babies then they are adult enough to have their own place to live, there is help available to get them started. As for your hubby??? Hmmm I’d have a few choice words for him in private, my daughter is a single mom, put herself thru college with a 2 yr old & preg with another going thru a divorce. She has a good job, bought her own house, her kids are now 13 & 16 & both do jobs around the house after school & the 16 yr old has a part time job on wk ends. It’s all about putting your foot down & staying firm
Do how my mom told me i work qt night from 6pm to 6 am and i sleep from 7am to 1pm and help my mom around the house and she takes care of my baby while i work we got a job that works whit each other she work on the day and i take care of 4 kids my 2 brother and my 2 babys and my mom and dad take care of them at night
Okay WIC is a LIFESAVER when it comes to saving money. I have 2 kids and wic helps IMMENSELY. Tell her to get a job or leave. Her son can stay but she has to go. Threaten her. Or she won’t grow up. Have her father babysit. Tell her she has to get a job or she’s out. Make people start helping you. It’s not fair for you to come home to that. Boy I’d like to have few choice words with your “adult” daughter. She sounds like a child.
Empty nest them. Find a smaller place and give notice. Some children feel self entitled to what you have regardless of what you say. And they won’t leave or contribute even if working. My brother was like that making 26 an hour and eating and leaving shit everywhere while his money went to his things not his share. I actually moved in paid rent and he left so he didn’t have to. Also you now have a better idea of the actual environment you “saved”
Your daughter from.
It sounds like it wasn’t just unvetted violence. Remember there’s three sides to every story. Your depiction their story and the truth. If you qualify also get yourself a counsellor to help you cope. They are an unbiased venting tool.
You need to have a sit down with everyone in the house. You need to.
Remind your daughter that while you love her and support her, that she as a mother and a daughter needs to do her due diligence in helping around the house at the VERY least, and start respecting that you are helping her out. She needs to find a job, even if it’s part time for now. Help her find childcare or have your husband help out.
Your husband needs to due his part as a husband and help support you by putting effort into providing what he can. If your daughter can find work, perhaps he can watch the baby when he isn’t working. Ask him to find a better part time job or else bills will not be paid.
You must tell them that you can not single handedly take care of the entire household, and that they need to take action. If not there will be consequences. Tell them how you feel and that you will not allow this to continue. Leave them at that and go out for an hour or two, clear your head and thoughts. If you can, spoil yourself.
No more enabling and putbyour foot down. As long as you keep allowing this to happen. It will never change. They won’t all just wake up one day and want to do their part when they get it all done for free.
Move out and let them ALL fend for themselves! Lol 
Oh gezus I feel this . Only 3 in my house … I can’t even imagine how you manage to keep your Kool momma
It is all on you to do what you know needs to be done. Your family will continue to take you for granted as long as you keep letting them. Set your boundaries and take care of yourself.
Damn. Stand up for yourself. Shit you only get one life and from what you explained, your life sounds like pure hell. If your daughter is grown, treat her like she’s grown, and tell her how it is. If you want your husband get get a better job, tell him. My husband did Instacart when the pandemic first started it was okay at first but it got old real quick. If you want your house back, Don’t enable it anymore.
No ma’am.
You are going to make yourself crazy, just no.
I hope you’re able to work it out!!
Don’t understand why you gave up your room once went on strike I didn’t cook clean and do nothing when to work they got my just… grow some balls and put down the laws. Or continue to let them take advantage of you
You’re all either working by a certain date or get out! Periodt!!
Kick her ass to the curb she’s grown tell her figure life out. Dont enable her to run you to the ground in your own home. It sucks to say it but you can’t take care of her forever.
I’d say save up to move out and leave them all in their mess and let them do them. It is not fair for everything to be on you.
I am already overwhelmed reading this 
so sorry but yeah they have been spoiled
Nope. I would give everyone a 30 day eviction notice & stick to it
You need to sit down and have a conversation with your family, without the little ones. The grown adults need to pull their weight. Take care of your little children that are under 18. Stop doing everyone’s laundry, especially your husbands and the grown daughters. You also probably should tell your husband to get a job or help around the house (I’m sure you have but you need to be firm and give an ultimatum. Block his access to the bank account or something along those lines to show that you’re serious). Stick to what you decide. Don’t start doing things for them out of guilt. They are taking advantage of you.
Also you need a day to yourself. Maybe rent a hotel and check in as soon as you can, and check out as late as you can. Go to places you love to go and order take out and just sit and watch tv. Decide on the day/night to do this and only tell your family when you’re walking out the door 
Could she be going through mental problems also? I know I was very depressed when I left a violent relationship and it really set me in a mood to do absolutely nothing
Stop doing anyone’s dishes or laundry except for your own.
Put your foot down and move all her stuff out of your bedroom, make her deal with it. If you’re like me and can’t stand a dirty house when you pick up, put laundry, toys, exc. in a trash bag and take a picture and send it to them ( then can put it up/wash it or it goes out by the road. You demand respect in your house or they can live in tents outside. If you pay phone bills cut all that shit off and get a land line. Then maybe they will appreciate you and clean up.
Put your foot down and tell her if she can’t even try to stand on her own 2 feet then she can sit on her butt on the street tough love.
Also, your husband can get deactivates from Instacart if he brings you but you arent an approved shopper. I’ve been in the gig economy for years. Grubhub pays higher, and you can bring people with you. If your daughter has a license, she can bring her child and working full time she could easily make 1k or more a week.
Stop doing laundry except for yourself. Stop doing dishes except for what you need to use. Stop cooking for anyone but yourself. Stop taking care of ANYONE but yourself. And for Christ sake, PUT YOUR FOOT DOWN.
Or Kick husband to the curb and kick daughter out. How old are the other children? Do they have electronics?? Take it all away until they stop being lazy. If you have them on a phone plan shut theirs off. Step up for yourself or they will keep walking all over you
Let everyone know they have 30 days to get job and contribute or get out. Don’t feed them clean up after then kick daughter out of your bedroom. They will take advantage for as long as you allow it.
Poor woman im so sorry your going thru this… 
Speak up. Be a B*TCH about it. You have EVERY right to! When you walk in & the house is a mess, yell clean this dang house & turn around & walk out. Give your child an ultimatum. Get assistance or get the hell out plain & simple. I’ve been through this. You do NOT deserve this. I hope you are also getting assistance with your husband not working for you and your other 3 kids. As I tell people, if you are working, dont feel guilty about getting assistance. You pay the taxes that make that system. You deserve it if anyone does.
My ex husband didn’t work for 3yrs and I was doing everything!!! I’m a nurse and I was working 60+ hrs a week and would still have to come home and cook,clean and do laundry. It’s tiring and exhausting and shows how little the people around you care. It affected my mental health and everything. Demand that they start helping or I would get an apartment and let them figure out how they’re going to pay for everything without your help. Don’t allow them to walk all over you. Take back control of your life
Sit them down and explain what is expected of them. You’re gonna get sick in this toxic environment! Give them a due date… with consequences
Quit enabling your grown kid they made that kid so it’s on them to take care of them , nothing wrong with helping but it can only go so far … simple as that … you shouldn’t feel like that in your own home … time to shape up or ship out … if they respected you they would see all you do an want to help you … then again you allow it so they will continue to take you for granted until you put your foot down … quit doing their laundry , cooking cleaning etc … and husband hell he’s old enough to do it himself , hell if he ain’t working why can’t he help … wish you the best of luck
Chores roster! Stick to it or move out would be my ultimatum. If two of your daughters are mothers they would get some sort of benefit yes? Time to hand half of that over to you to help pay bills, rent and food. Even $100 a week is far better than being out on their own. They should consider themselves lucky to have the opportunity to save to get themselves ahead otherwise tell them to get a house together with their children and they can work it out on their own. If you enable these adult children to continue doing this and don’t stick to your guns you are setting them up for failure. My 19 year old is at Uni, works part time, looks after my 1 year old if I have work and she is home and she pays the electric and gas bill. She will pick up her younger siblings from school if I have a big day at work. I did allow her to save for uni and her car last year but she was saving absolutely everything and not being silly with her money so I was happy to help her get ahead. There is a line that must be drawn with your adult children. Good luck.
Maybe you should take a weekend at least and hide at a hotel and do some self care. Then once youve relaxed and taken care of only yourself go back and talk to everyone. If they can’t help they need to find somewhere to go. At some point they have to grow up. Even if its the hard way
Lose your shit and tell them to help
Oh that’s a hell no. Tell her she gets food stamps or she doesn’t eat. Tell her she helps clean or she needs to find another place to live. You know what? Screw it, leave em all there and move out by yourself. That’s total bull.
You need to give her a deadline! That’s such crap that she is taking advantage of her own mother like this. Why isn’t your husband working?? What does everyone do for money? I hope you’re not giving them a dime! You need to do something or you will drive yourself crazy! Good luck!
Id be kicking people out. Pitch in somehow or bye! 
Stop paying for wifi, and tv. Or shut it off completely.
Cook and clean for yourself.
They’ll have to put up their socks eventually.
She might be your daughter, but she’s definitely way too old to be sponging off of you. Set rules and expectations. She either follows them or she’s out.
Kick all adults out with their kids.
Sounds very overwhelming, tell them they can either help with things or hit the damn road daughter or not,if she has a child then she needs to learn responsibility and most of all respect for her mother
Kick your daughter out. She might not do housing, food stamps, etc, but she will quickly change her mind when she realizes she has nobody to help her except those programs. As for the husband, kick him out too if he won’t get a job. You are doing everything in that house, therefore, you run that house. Make decisions and put your foot down. Praying for you momma❤️
Ok, I get where you are coming from and it’s definitely a rough spot to be in. However, having been in your daughter’s shoes, there is no excuse. While I was with my parents, I worked nights so the kids were asleep and my parents could tend their needs if they were to wake, etc. Do not enable her to make poor choices. Tough love, it’s hard, but it’s best. And your husband… you got kids that need you, you do not need to be taking care of his grown adult @$$. Give him a time frame. Get a sufficient job and help, or get out. You cannot forget about your mental health. If you run yourself down, you won’t be beneficial to anyone, including the littles who need you the most! Hugs!!
Set some boundaries and a chore chart. Tell them the conditions if they aren’t doing their part and then stick to them…or just quit coming home…that works too.
I’m stressed for you! This is just a terrible situation to be in, but at the end of the day you have to do what is best for you, the other people are grown and need to handle their own business. And just remember, you aren’t walking out on them, you are holding them accountable.
To hell was that put your foot down and tell your daughter she has to pull her weight around there and your husband to
Take away everything that makes things so damn comfortable they feel they don’t need to help stop providing things that they want so they will have to work to get what they need bet things change real quick ALSO get whoever’s in your bedroom TF out you work you need a good nights rest holy hell 
She’s lucky to have you take her in. But when it comes down to it she would be figuring out how to be a single parent right now if it wasn’t for you. So boundaries need to happen. Give her a set time to get it together, and be moved out. She needs to know what life is going to be like providing for her son as a single mother. Sure you can be a support, but not an enabler.
Momma, CLEAN THAT HOUSE OUT! Set deadlines for them “adults” and hold to them!
Make a list. Each of them are do complete before you get home. You have internet- change the password if you come home and it’s not done. Do not pay any of their bills or supply their needs. Kick your daughter out of your room, make her a spot wherever y’all are sleeping. Give the older daughters each a bill. They pay it or they leave. They are old enough to have babies they are old enough to help out. They are taking advantage of the situation. Maybe get a hotel room for two days. Tell them you’re going away and they are to handle stuff on their own. Do it right before you’d have to do a big grocery haul. Turn off your phone and relax.
I’ll start with saying make sure to take time for yourself, away from everyone in the house.
As for the daughter taking over your room…take it back. If that involves a lock on your door, to keep others out, so be it. You need your space. As for the adult daughters, set clear boundaries and expectations with them. That includes both helping in the house ( cooking and cleaning ) & getting jobs.
If no one wants to cook, feed yourself only ( and little kids, if they’re minors ), wash only your dishes, and only your laundry. The husband needs a job and definitely needs to be pulling the household responsibilities, since he isn’t working.