It’s called tough love
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Give them a deadline on when it is they need a job, so they can contribute. She can work online if it’s really about the baby. Also, I agree with most of these comments… 
doing everyone’s chores! You’re a better woman than I … I would’ve flipped my shit on everyone already!
Girl!You move and leave NO Forward address😤Let them figure it out for themselves🤯
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What is wrong with your husband
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Tell her she needs to contribute or gtfo. Your husband too. 
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Stop it! Wash YOUR laundry. Grab a burger on the way home, don’t worry about them. Put the litter box in whoever room the cat belongs to.
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Oh hell no!!! Stand up for yourself, stop doing anything for them and let them figure out how to be grown ass adults… including your husband! And if you have to LEAVE for a week for your own mental health!! Let them realize what you actually do!
Stop doing anything! They will either shape up or ship them out🤷
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It’s time to show some tough love !!! I just had to do that recently with my grown kids… I kicked em all out lol
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Your husband should be helping you.
Your daughter is probably going through a very tough time mentally after everything that has happened and dealing with a baby is it her first? That’s very hard also! You have to accept it. I know it’s hard but she is your daughter. Your husband needs to step up!!! Don’t blame all your daughter she’s the Victim here and could he mentally ill or have postnatal depression. I do agree though set down some boundaries and talk to her and if she doesn’t listen then we’ll it’s up you but I’m just telling you my opinion she needs to be helping I 100% agree!
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Get a hotel and do not come home till every damn one in that house either grown tf up or gets tf out!
Flip the fuck out!! Scare them into motion.
Sounds like it’s really time to clean house and by clean house I mean all the free loaders living there
You need to tell ur husband to get a job. Everyone needs a job there. Take ur room back. Set rules or kick everyone out! Tough love
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Instacart IS a job, though.
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They should be treating you like a queen! That said, you all need to have a talk and set time limits. Grown adults will keep doing this to you as long as you let them act like children!
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Stop cleaning… move back into YOUR BEDROOM… take your space back… yes there will be angry birds… so what…but it does pass…sometimes e the comeback saying will be… its the best thing you did for them…but girl you have to give them their wing to fly. Not a crutch or life jacket… its sink or swim
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Kick her out, an keep your grandbaby !! That’ll wake her.
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Stop doing all the work. If they aren’t working how are they buying clothes and stuff for the baby? Make a chore chart and attach a dollar amount so they can earn the money to provide for their children. They will learn what you allow. Trust me I’ve been down this road. You need to regain control.
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I say leave and stay a week, let them no you mean business… works like a charm
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Can’t believe she’s ok with looking at you struggling to do it all , she needs to be reminded that shes an adult and responsible for her kid , you have already raised yours and don’t mind helping her to get back on her feet but it’s her job to be the grown up and provide for hers . Please let her know the pressure she’s putting on you especially when all your trying to do is help
tell her to get out~ and why can’t. your husband sign up for his own instacart employment? Then again, why can’t she—then your HUSBAND can watch the kid while she works. And yes, it’s a “real job”, it falls under self employed, and you’ll have to pay taxes on what is earned either way. If YOU signed up, YOU are on the hook for paying those taxes…you’ll have to set aside 30% and log your miles. That said, I’d tell that girl if you don’t sign up for wiC, childcare subsidies, food stamps, and aid for that child, she needs to go live at a women’s shelter with the baby. There is NO excuse for not signing up for government assistance — especially if you’ve become a burden on your family. People will only treat you the way you ALLOW them to treat you.
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My daughter and grandson were living with me and hubby for about a year. I loved having him around everyday but now there are many days I’m glad they don’t live here anymore. She assumed she could lay in bed when she was too tired to get up and I would watch the little man while i worked. She would say she would do things and they wouldn’t get done. My advice is STOP picking up the slack for grown people…husband, daughter and old enough other children. Go on strike,…cook for you, do your own laundry, clean up after you. They are not showing respect or kindness to you and walking all over you. Those that can need to get paying jobs along with helping around the house. Those that are school age can have chores around the house
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Create a space in that just for you where you can have peace and sleep. Put a lock on that door. Stop buying the groceries, stop handing anyone money, and everything else. Take yourself out for meals and let them sit in thier mess and figure out what to do. And go see a counselor. You need more than fb to undo this mess.
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Quit taking care of her she has no choice she’s an adult. Make sure the baby doesn’t go without but not her. 
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My mother went through a similar situation and all I can say is yes…feelings will get hurt, but your kids AND your husband will get over it and be better people from the tough love that you give. Plus your grandchildren should see their own parents contributing to the household. You’re sacrificing your home and personal space, the least they can do is clean, help out with groceries and the other house chores.
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Nope, nope, nope. I’d be handing out the “you gotta go’s” to everybody in that house. I’m all for helping my children. But there’s a line between HELPING and ENABLING.
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That is BS! Grown with your own children, you should be helping your mother out. Sad. Im sorry.
They are selfish. Find a friend and see if they can take you in for awhile. Sink or swim to the others. I adopted my niece and nephew. I was single and had one job. Now they are 44 and 42. They’re married and they still looking for handouts and complain. I’m currently not talking to them and looking forward to moving out of state. They hurt me so bad. They talk down to me and I’m mostly never invited to holiday dinners. I’m done and sometimes I just want to check out so I figure live the remainder of my life for me.
If your husband is home all day he should have it spotless when you get home. If i were you I’d go stay in a friend’s for a few days. At very least don’t do a thing around the house. Let them do it. Are your other children not old enough to do their chores? My 3 are 16, 12 & 6 and they all help me every day. I’m not their slave. Either are you. Xx
The fact you are even asking
Move out lol 
let them figure it out. Just kidding…
I work as an advocate and as I live by the one rule “ what you allow is what will continue”
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Wow my heart hurts for you:neutral_face:
Tell them all they have to do their share your husband and your daughter could be cleaning house and cooking he needs to get a job
Start making everyone contribute. You are going to have to lay down the law and stick to your guns. Everyone but the babies contribute to work and income. Take your room back . they are only going to do what you allow. If you have to just take care of yourself and help your husband get on his feet. They don’t cook or shop they do not eat have clean laundry etc. It is time for everybody to grow up!
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I know you are over it. Call a family meeting. Create a list for each able-bodied person (man, woman, or child) of your expectations for them. Yes, it will be work to get it together and yes, they will give you grief. But it hopefully gets across to all of them how serious you are about needing help. Explain that the grown daughters will have to leave if they can’t help out. Explain that the expectations are a base line, as in they could/can do more to help the family function. Be prepared to hold boundaries, mama. Don’t continue to let them take advantage of you!
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Mam, with all respect to you, but, YOU ARE RECEIVING WHAT YOU ALLOW.
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Oh noooo. The LEAST she xan do is clean and make sire HER KID isnt destroying the house. Plus getting wic is easy and im sure she’ll qualify and its better than nothing. Groceries are expensive. Im so lucky i applied for my ebt and got it. Wic too, helps w formula.
Oh mom it’s time for you to put your foot down to everyone, I get they are your children but they are grown and its time for them to act it. I would tell her she has 30 days to get a job or get out, as for your husband he needs to contribute a lot more, because personally they are all taking advantage of you. Kick her butt out of your room and take your home back!
Get a hotel for a week!! Or an apartment forever. Why cant your husband work. And all grown kids should be working too. That sounds like something I would not be okay with at all!!
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Unless your husband is sick he needs to go get a damn job. And your daughter needs to do the same and go get WIC and food stamps so she can buy what her and her son need
Um you need to lay down the law. Kick people out if you have to. I’m sorry but that is ridiculous. Your daughter needs to Atleast be cleaning and needs to apply for food stamps and such to help contribute or Atleast take care of herself and her son so that you aren’t supporting them. Tell her either she gets those things to feed and support herself and her kid and starts cleaning or she can move out and figure shit out 100% on her own. Tell your husband he needs to get a job (a real job that he can do on his own!!!) and help around the house. It is not your responsibility to support and care for everyone on your own. And your daughter using her baby as an excuse to be lazy is complete crap. The baby doesn’t need to be held 24/7 and even if she chooses to do so, she can still clean. I have 7 kids, I’m pregnant, I work and go to school fulltime, still homeschool my kids AND do the cooking and cleaning. My husband works fulltime and you best believe when he is slacking (not helping around the house) he will get chewed out. I have zero problems being a bitch because I’m only one person and can’t do everything myself. Right now? My husband just got home, I’ve been cleaning and taking care of kids all day and getting shit done. I needed a break so he took over cleaning and is taking care of the kids so I can have a few minutes to “reboot”. Zero freaking excuses. Put your foot down. Be the hard ass. They need to be helping too. You are ONE PERSON you shouldn’t have to do everything for everyone 24/7.
If nobody but you is working, and there are 2 other adults at home, the house should be spotless. And Instacart drivers can actually make good money, depending on location. If she has an issue with childcare, she can Instacart and take the baby with her. There is no reason for anyone to be unemployed in this economy. There ae jobs EVERYWHERE!
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I read this and this is what I think
My kids are ages 8 to 14 and they keep my whole house clean. My 14 year old has been applying for jobs ahead of time, her bday is in June. Theres no reason every single adult shouldnt be working.
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Time for some tough love if she is grown to have kids she is grown to get. Job and its not ur job to take care of whole house while the rest are lazy and do nothing
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Why are you letting them do this to you? Per my doc, your children need you to teach them to be grown ups, they are grown ups.
My heart hurts for you. Everyone that’s old enough to work and able to, should. Anyone that’s old enough to clean, should.
You are being taken advantage of by everyone in that house! Even your “husband” marriage is teamwork.
I’m reading that you have 2 daughter with kids. They need to lean on each other. Work opposite shifts and take care of each others kids.
Husband: if I have to do it alone, then I’ll do it with less dead weight
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My daughter and I just moved back in with my parents in January, Not only do I help around the house do dishes take the trash out clean ETC I pay rent. Because I live here this is my home too.
What she’s being is childish.
Tell her enough with the excuses, she gets a job or leaves now. Put your foot down, you let her get away with stuff this long so she’s going to keep taking advantage of you.
6 months to get their shit together or they’re out
I think your pride is contributing to your situation. You may want to lower your ego or move. There is no reason she cannot work if there are available ppl to babysit. Providing for her child is not an option it must be done and I would set an ultimatum. Husband needs to find employment whatever it may be, and your daughter should get s job or go seek benefits to contribute and provide. You not “doing welfare” is your personal choice and has nothing to do with she needs to do as a mother to care for her son which includes housing, food, clothing etc…
If husband is home he can watch the baby & she can get to work – husband needs to get his own job, whatever that Is and you shouldn’t have to do anything for him to achieve that… and if they don’t start cleaning I’d stop doing it. No dishes, no laundry, no groceries. Go out and feed yourself only and tell them to all figure it out for themselves. You’ve got a bunch of free loaders and you’ve got to stop doing everything or they will never do for themselves. Also I’d kick you daughter out of your room, its YOUR house and that’s your space. She can get mad and leave or she can be grateful she has a safe space.
Don’t u have a friends house u can go to for a few days? They will have to do for themselves if ur not there catering to able bodied people I know it’s not a long term solution but enough to teach a lesson that ur not a damn maid !
You need to treat them all like children. Write all the daily chores down, dishes, trash, vacuuming etc. They each get assigned chores. If they don’t do it they don’t get the wifi password for the day. 
As for your daughter make her apply for assistance. WIC, SNAP, Medicaid, low income housing. Tell her if she doesn’t contribute then she can’t love there. Tough love! Follow through, file eviction. As for can’t clean cause baby needs to be held first it sounds like there’s plenty of arms in your house to hold the baby so she can wash dishes, do laundry etc. Also get her a sling. Problem solved.
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For your own mental sake, take back what’s yours and stand your ground 
Yes she’s a mommy now, but you don’t stop being a mother either. Her child is HER child, and for that she MUST contribute into everything she can. Not having a job is NOT an option for her. Explain to her that just as she has a family now, you have one of your own to take care of. And just because she’s your daughter doesn’t mean she can take advantage of that. If she wants a bedroom of her own, clean clothes, chores done, food for herself and her baby, she must do something to gain it. If she can’t work, well ay the least she should be doing something at home to help you. I mean she is giving you so many excuses for everything ast to why she can’t do it herself. But how can she be okay knowing YOU,her mother the one’s that’s helping her in this time, how can she be okay seeing & knowing YOU are struggling asking for help? I don’t understand. It’s not okay for her to do, but it’s okay for YOU to be doing?? But all this starts with you. YOU as her mother, and this being YOUR home, you must give her limits and let her know when enough is enough.
Stop buying groceries!! Make sure you eat before you come home…
Your daughter and your husband should both get a job! Why won’t she get on food stamps? It’ll help a lot! I’m sure u can qualify with how many is in the household and the only one with a job!
Make rules! For her of course but for everyone if you need to:woman_shrugging: It i was the only one working I’d be gd I’d also be the only one cleaning and all the other stuff:100:
We all work together as a family or not at all in our house! You don’t want to contribute to the family then you get none of the benefits:woman_shrugging:
Stop. Just stop. Go to work and cover ONLY BASIC necessities. They should all be cooking, cleaning, yardwork, job hunting. And those gals need to be in all the assistance they qualify for to get on their own 2 feet. You are teaching them how to treat you.
Take your home back. Set deadlines to get jobs and stick to it. You’re clearly being taken advantage of and you’re the one that can control it. Help out or get out
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You need to not go home for a few nights stay with a friend if a hotel isn’t possible. Tell them you are enjoying the money you make and they can all figure it out. Time to throw some tough love in there and if that doesn’t work show them the door. Your husband is being a child if he is able to work and isn’t. Make him get a job or get out!! Oh or your daughter can get a job and he can babysit!! Good luck mama!!
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Or if you have the means to I’d just pack some stuff and leave for a couple weeks. For your own sanity and to whip their butts into shape. That would be the easiest way. Don’t tell them you’re leaving either. Just go and let them all wonder. When you show back up if no one had lifted a finger to clean or got a job, I’d turn around and go right back out the door.
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If you don’t raise your kids right you’ll end up raising your grandkids. It all starts with you.
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Give husband and both kids 2 weeks to get a job if they don’t kick them out. They need to be cleaning. They can’t help then no reason for them to be there. When I moved back home I had to help with bills supply all the food and cook and do all the cleaning
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So you have another grown daughter and grandchild in the home but you’re just now overwhelmed with your other daughter and grandson? I’d say tell both daughters to get a job and contribute to the household. Husband can babysit while everyone works. Or your husband can work an opposite schedule as you and the girls can work night shift while kids are asleep. Theres plenty of options but you’re letting everyone get away with it. You can apply for benefits as well since you have so many non working dependents in the house.
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You are chicken shit not to speak up
Put your foot down! Tell them to get a job or get out!
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I think it’s time you take a holiday. Shout yourself a week away and let them all fend for themselves.
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Leave it all and tell em your on strike, literally!! Only do your dishes and only do your laundry and only make food for you pay the regular house bills and eat out when you can, when they say there is no more this or that say I don’t know what your talking about I have clean cloths I have this I have that. Prove to them and show them you are done. I have done it and they all look at me and I say we’ll if no one else can do it I don’t have to either and after that they started picking up their shit and getting their own stuff. Hide stuff if you have to even if in your car and don’t let them drive it either. The grow ass people in your house can work they need to even if it opposite shifts to have someone at home watch the kids if they all don’t work then they can help each other out getting jobs and watching the kids. Hello you can get state assistance for child care. And in the end if no one helps or gets a job take the two grown ones to court and evict them and tell them I gave you a time line it’s tough love sorry I have to do this to stay saine
I think you need to move out and leave them to their own devices for a while! Got a friend you can crash with for a week or two while they sort their shit out??
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At first when I saw the first bit I was thinking what the hell, then I saw it all & feel very sorry you I know how it is with just 3 of us let alone anymore! You need to truthful and honest who cares if it upsets them it’s not good for your health, you need to tell them they need to help out? Or leave a note where they will see it for the jobs you want doing well you are working, hope you are ok xxxxx
You can work 2 jobs?? Oh hell naw
Been there! Its very frustrating!!! Sorry you are going through it too!
Apply for assistance yourself and call it a day. They’re not helping and you’re the only one working. They call that you’re the boss. Put those animals out to a good home and start buying plastic ware. Save yourself the hassle if they don’t wanna help.
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Stop doing it…do your laundry, cook for you, take care of your mess only, and go to work. They are taking advantage of you in every way imaginable and clearly won’t stop until given no other choice.
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Family meeting time. Chore chart. If things are the same and nothing gets done they have to go!!
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Easy solution lay down ground rules or shes out
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I just want to say that 1) I work for instacart and it is a real job if you put in the time I make 600 a week usually 2) your husband isn’t actually allowed to bring anyone with him while he works for Instacart. It is against their policy. I have to find a babysitter every time me and my husband are working at the same time because I can’t even bring my KIDS with my on trips. Never mind my spouse.
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Give them a 30 day notice to move out!
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And your family and husband is not excused either, everybody lives there, everybody eats, sleeps, dirties, and nobody does a thing to keep the house together?? Yet YOU, the one person who’s NOT at home most of the time… YOU have to come home and keep it all together??. It’s stressful, and WILL tire you mentally and physically in the long run. Your body can only withstand so much. And you being the only person bringing an income for the family, they should be treating you the best of all. And not give a single excuse for a task you ask them to do such as dishes, laundry, cleaning. They’re being selfish and taking advantage of you. But maybe they don’t notice it. So YOU must let them know and put your foot down to things.
Kick them out, kids can stay, get jobs or go mooch off someone else! So sorry your in this situation. I k kw it’s hard to say no because its family but that’s bullshit
give them 30 days to get a job and get out and tell you husband that he has 30 days to get a job also-this will not get any better-only worse-its their life -let them go live under a bridge if they want to
I would move and leave the deadbeats to fend for themselves.
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Ok book a motel room and have a night off, send them all a message and tell them that you refuse to live like this any more, there is more than one adult in that house and you are not the only responsible one there! Or better still organise it for you and the children you actually have to take care of and leave the husband, adult daughter and her child at home and tell them you will come back when the house is clean and they can get their crap together!! They are doing it because you let them, it may be a tough stance but your going to have to make one
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Take a 2 week vacation, leave and don’t call home at all. When u get back tell them where u went and why and that you will do it permanently if they don’t get their s*** together
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Oh and be sure to claim her and them on your taxes and don’t share it
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You are enabling them all. They will continue as long as you allow it! If you don’t change your own ways they will continue. If you really want it to change - change it! Your house = your rules.
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If she fled an abusive situation, have you stopped to think maybe she has ptsd? Maybe she feels safe and like she can finally breathe again? Maybe she is enjoying being able to hold her son without fear? Maybe just maybe, she’s not using you. But instead taking a moment to overcome something traumatic?
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1st of all, I’m kind of insulted you’re calling instacart NOT A REAL JOB. I work 2 jobs, but plan on going full time with instacart because I made 50k in 2020 in 8 months PART TIME. With that said, if he signed up to do Instacart, HE has to activate the card, HE has to do the driving and shopping.The background check is done on HIM not you and it says that in the contract. 2nd of all, by you being the only one working in a 7 person home, you’re enabling them.
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Oh man, that sounds tough. Sending you big hugs and positive vibes. Sounds to me like they all just being lazy. If your gonna make an ultimatum to them or they get jobs or leave, make sure urv really thought it through and that your going to do what you say. No giving in. So really think about it. My sister and brice moved in with my mum and it was a nightmare for her, sounds alot like how it feeling. Mum always said stuff and tried talking, encouraging etc, even threatening to kick my sis out, but never followed through. More than a year on and it’s still happening. You gotta follow through and stick to your guns. Such a hard situation though, spesh with lill ones involved. Wishing you all the best.
Kick them allllll out!!!
Take a 2 week vacation and let them fend themselves
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Ok all grows ass adults have 60 days have a job or gtf out!! I refuse to help anyone who refuses to help themselves!!! Regardless of the situation she came from she has a child to support! You can’t rely on mama the rest of your life. She’s an adult and chose to have a baby, it need things to Survive .
Also stop doing anyone elses washing. Keep putting it back in their rooms. And dirty dishes under their covers on their bed. They will learn quick
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I agree with setting boundaries, and stopping the things they expect of you! But, I don’t agree with kicking out your daughter, and grandchild. They fled a violent situation!!! I have been in the same situation. I had a VERY violent ex, and the amount of trauma and ptsd I still have today is unreal. Please, do NOT give them a 30 day notice or kick them out. Put your foot down, but remember why they are there, and protect your child and grandchild! Maybe she’s scared to get out there and work, or do anything due to fear of being hurt again. I can tell you, when my ex went to jail the last time for breaking into my house, I packed up and moved in those 2 days. I was TERRIFIED to go anywhere or do anything. Be patient with her, but like I said, put your foot down. There’s no reason she shouldn’t be helping around the house. Also, maybe offer to take her to apply for aid? As I said, maybe she is scared.
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Leave for 2 weeks and let them see if they can survive
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I understand the thought of your children and grandkids being without a safe place to stay probably upsets you. So I get it you have been doing it all so everyone is safe. But when do you take the time to worry about yourself? You need to start. Or you are going to make yourself sick working as hard as you are taken care of all of them. It’s time they get a wake up call and some tough love. You say you’re husband has been unemployed for a year now. Has he qualified or collected unemployment for any of that time or just sat on his ass doing nothing and bringing in absolutely no income? I’m sorry but if he doesn’t find anything wrong with making his wife do it all and he’s bringing absolutely nothing to the table then why stay with him? Think it’s time you threaten them all but actually carry through with your threat if they don’t change. I’m sorry you’re dealing with all of this. I could never imagine putting my mother through this. So sad.