So what does your husband do all day? They should all get jobs AND help with the house. It’s called life. Tell them you don’t live with pigs and you charge from now on for maid service. That’s it.
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Either kick em out or put them to work… I have 4 kids, they help with laundry, trash and dishes as well as bathrooms, and floors. Two are teens, a preteen and a 5 yr old who feeds the dog. Start taking away household privileges or giving insentives whichever works best at your house. They should all be helping!!
Pure laziness happening. You gotta have that hard conversation, when we choose to have babies, it’s time to grow up and take responsibility. Responsibility for your home, for your money, for your child. It’s not easy and I’ve never heard anyone say motherhood is easy. Tell her to either apply for the welfare and start working toward her and her child’s future while she still has the help or she’s gonna be in a homeless shelter with her new baby 
if your husband isn’t working she should utilize that and get a job while he babysits, or he needs to get a job. I’m sorry but it seems like you have a family full of jerks who are taking advantage of you and your good heart and good work ethic. Sending good vibes, that’s a really awful situation.
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Wow…just ask if any of the love you…wait for the answer.
Wow. Stop doing it. She is a grown woman. Don’t do her laundry,don’t take care of her animals,and tell ur husband to do his work on his own! I did Instacart and Doordash by myself. Made good money on Instacart. Doordash was a joke. Tell her get her butt on Medicaid and food stamps or she out. Set an appointment for both for her and take her. Also,make a rule that if you cook,then she does dishes. Tell her she needs to step up some or she gone .
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First tell your husband to look for work (if he hasn’t been) and he can help clean and do things while he is home. And that he has to do the instacart himself. If he can’t then he can’t be doing it. Then I would tell your daughter that you were happy to help her get out of a bad situation but she has to contribute or she has to go. She must get a job and figure out how to be comfortable having someone watch her son. And she needs to help clean around the house. If that means doing it while holding her son that’s her choice. And get on state help if she can. If she can’t or won’t do these things then she has to leave. And I would make your other kids help out more also. And follow through with it and stop doing other peoples cleaning. Don’t cook for them and don’t do their laundry and tell your daughter to get out of your room.
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Id stop. Stop cleaning. Stop cooking. Do your own laundry. When they ask why these things aren’t done… Tell them their arms aren’t broken. And your not everyone’s bitch. Tell that daughter of yours to get a baby carrier and learn to do shit for herself cause your done. And to make the dam appointments to get some help. Tell your husband to get off his ass or get out. He can put up with his own bullshit but you will be damned if you will do it.
Set your grown kids this includes your husband a time frame to get a job. As far as WIC tell her ass she better sign up and get whatever she can sign up on food stamps also. They want to act like kids treat them like kids give them all a chore list. You’re burning yourself out. As far as her having to hold the baby hell no she better put the baby down and start cleaning. They don’t want to move out because you’re doing everything for them. Best wishes.
stop doing anything let it pile up. they will start doing more once they see that you won’t do it. and tell all the adults to get a Damn job, clean and cook or they can leave plan and simple
RUN
Screw them all!! Know your worth and STOP allowing your husband/grown ass kids to abuse you.
Each one needs to be told they have 30 days to have full time time or serve them an eviction!!!
In the mean time EACH one of them has chores to do daily and tell the, the only thing your responsible for is sleeping, washing your as and working!
Your daughter needs to realize the government help she needs because she’s about to b homeless otherwise.
You and you alone control how others use you.
Oh no Momma, I don’t blame you for being upset. Time to set up a chore chart. Everyone gets a choir. Sounds like the adults need to sit down for a good old heart to heart. Your husband can take your daughter and get her sighed up for benefits or she gets a job. Those benefits are there for a reason and that is the least she can do. Your husband might want to look into it too as there are so many in your house too. If those aren’t your cats, then the person they belong to should be caring for them. Period.
Make your stand. Do your best to stay calm, be clear but let them know things are changing. If they have a problem with it tough; get a job and help to help financially! Your a family and families don’t treat people they love like this!!!
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Start with your husband. No real man will watch his wife suffer like that while he sits on his ass. As far as your daughter, she’s not going to survive in the real world alone if she doesn’t step up and start being responsible. CPS would tell her the same thing. I’m a domestic violence survivor and yes, it takes time to heal and to recover from the trauma, but she’s got a living human being that depends on her and at some point you have to swallow the big pill and get back up. Put your foot down.
I’m right there with you
Set a date that everyone needs to have jobs and start contributing. Regardless of anyone’s situation, you can’t live for free. The fact that they can’t even clean or take the trash out is just laziness.
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Well it is a tough situation but you gotta put your foot down. “Listen everyone if yall dont get jobs, Im leaving and you wont hear from me again. You have 90 days”.
Eat out for a couple weeks…dont buy groceries,or wash clothes (just your own) or clean the house…basically stay in ur bedroom or go to a friends house for a week or two…let them fin for themselves…maybe after they get a taste of it they will ALL learn to respect you…
I can totally relate. Everything you’ve said im in the same boat. Ive preached, I’ve thrown them out, I’ve cried to them, I explained how stressed I am just to hear my UNEMPLOYED bf say you act like your the only one that gets stressed in the world. He doesn’t bother to look for a real job. no matter how much I bitch and complain. Works odd jobs to get enough money to drink . I got custody of 2 of my grandkids two yrs ago. Their parents has been living on the streets all this time. Now she’s pregnant with twins. I let them come back for that reason because I couldn’t see them in the cold and her pregnant. She is trying to get an apt. One person ahead of her. I pray every night for things to change and get better because I don’t know how much more I can take either. I’m praying for you hun…God bless
Only you can put a stop to this. Lay down the ground rules effective immediately including your husband!!!
Wic and food stamps would help tremendously. They can help her with housing, childcare and a job. Sounds like she just doesn’t want to do anything. IMO.
Oh no baby, they alllll gotta go. BYE.
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For your daughter be patient, she just left a situation and might feel unsafe still even though she’s with you or having anxiety. For your husband, I don’t know what to do there. If you have a second car let him use that
Leave them there and find your own place 
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First off put your foot down she need to get a job and clean shes grown your family who stays home can watch her son and she can get over it also set a time limit on how long she can stay I know its hard but you did your job and already raised her and helped her out of a dangerous situation now she needs to do her part
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How old is your daughter?
Aw hell no! Omg. Put all of them out except for minor children. That would never work. Yikes! Your kids and husband need to grow up or get out. No exceptions!
Give a 90 day written notice … otherwise youre allowing it.
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No momma!!! 1st of all that husband needs a job or he’s gotta go, 2nd of all them grown kids need to be given a notice of when they can get out.
Oh Hell no. Lay down the law. Help out or get out. If they cared about you this would not be happening.
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Hell no! Either they contribute or they leave. Family is supposed to help family and stick together…but it takes EVERYONE contributing. It may be time for some tough love mama!
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Don’t take this crap. Tell daughter and hubby you don’t have jobs well you do now. You each do your own laundry, wash your own dishes and pick up after yourselves because if you don’t I’m GONE!
If you have to pay for and do everything by yourself you may as well live in that house by yourself. Sounds like it would be easier to just sell the house and leave them all in it the day of the closing and go buy a one bedroom condo.
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I say put them all out, give them 2 week notice
If the kids are old enough to do chores, start treating every one of them like the children they’re being. Hide phones. Hide game consoles, televisions and all of the other electronics. Take all of their trash, dirty clothes and dishes and put it all on their beds. If they want to sleep in a clean bed, eat, wear clean clothes and be able to play games and watch TV, they’ll get off their asses and clean. Tough love. It worked on us growing up. Your daughter who is an adult with a baby could really use that lesson if she’s ever going to make it on her own.
well these are the children you raised… BUT you need to be firm and tell them what they must do, my kids all help with cleaning the house, washing dishes, and they do their own laundry and they are 11, 14 and 16 yrs old and have done so for a few yrs now
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So a few things here. 1. She may need counseling for her situation. I went through an abusive relationship and still have panic attacks to this day. She may be scared of ending up in the same situation again or she may be using you and the baby as safety nets. All of that can be addressed in therapy. 2. Is husband trying to get a job and just unsuccessful or is he just not trying at all? Because if he’s not trying that needs to be addressed
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We only allow people to do to us what we agree to… say what you mean and do what you say!
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Take ur money and go get yourself a hotel room to live in temporarily until they figure their shit out.
give them all altitunatims and go stay in a hotel for a couple days. once you get back anyone who dont respect the new boundaries is gonna have to go. Its easier said then done
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Wow. Seriously this is awful. You have every right to be upset. Honestly if I were you I would take a “vacation” Stop doing everything for these ungrateful people. The more you do for them it honestly just rewards their bad behavior and teaches them its OK to continue treating you like this.
Give them ultimatums. Set up list that must be completed. And if they don’t, well i guess you just can’t afford their food, water, etc. Go get yourself a nice hotel and let them figure it the hell out.
Just be willing to follow through or else they will learn you don’t need to be taken seriously.
Big hugs and good luck. You deserve so much better!
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Id do exactly as you said. Id have a plan go to work and then not go home for a week. Id answer 1 phone call to say i need a break (so there is no missing persons case) then shut off tge phone and relax. It would give you the much needed break and show them how much you actually do
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My husband works 6 days a week and I have been off for a year, just started back to work this week, and I am so thankful that I receive foodstamps, I really don’t think we would have been able to pay all of our bills without it. Tell your daughter to get off her high horse and contribute something into the household it seems like she wants to be lazy how can you decide you don’t want to work for a couple years when you have someone depending on you for their survival??
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I think this is so selfish and inconsiderate of your husband and grown children! Even if the grown kids aren’t ready to find their own place, they should all be contributing to the house. If they are home and you are the only one working you should not be expected to do everything at home as well. That is a heavy load to carry. I’m so sorry you have so much on your shoulders. I know tough love is difficult for parents but you cannot allow them to treat you like their provider and servant. Put your foot down. If they “can’t work” they get the assistance available to them to contribute to the household. They do their own laundry. They clean up after themselves and contribute to the home in general. And I think that is still being more than generous! Otherwise, they can find their own place.
And your husband, if you are working and he is not, he should be the one taken care of the chores at home! Needs to be a team effort!
Again, hang in there. Do what you need to do for your own metal and physical health!
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I am really sorry you are in such a rough patch. I hope your situation gets better fast in the mean time although from experience I know it’s hard but you need to put your foot down and get all adults on board helping the household out.
Also I have a stupid question to ask what does WIC stand for ?
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Gosh, you need me to come regulate?!?! Definitely set a date for everyone to get their life together. Type it up, hang it up and make it loud and clear.
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Get an apartment and leave them all to their own devices.
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Leave that’s what I’m about to do get a camper stop playing the bills and just leave I have 6 grown toddlers in my house plus there pets I’m buying a camper n moving to the beach fuck everyone can go to hell.
i would apply for food stamps for all 7 of you if you’re the only one working it will cover more then 1/2 of the food costs. and sign your daughter up for affordable housing list just need her social with your address update/send back the info as current everytime the housing authority sends mail
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Don’t go home… ghost their asses.
If i was that disrespectful my mom would kick me out! I would honestly tell them to get it together by this time or your leaving them all there to deal with it themselves or kicking them all out. No grown adults should act this way. & I came home after leaving a physically and mentally abusive relationship and i still didn’t live like a slob & act like a 5 year old!!
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- Get yourself a hotel room for a few days 2. What you allow to continue will infact continue. 3. Put ur foot down…u got 2 grown daughters with their kids in ur home and a husband who won’t/cant get a job?? Yea thats a huge hell no. Tell them all they have to put 2 applications in a day and provide proof of doing so, they have 1 wk to sign up for food stamps, housing, wic etc and if they fail to do so then they can go find sum1 else to mooch off of.
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As bad as this sounds, your daughter is going to have to pull herself out of her funk. As for the others there is no excuse, especially the man. I’d go to a hotel and stay there a few days, maybe a week or two and not respond but to say I’m not coming home till things change and my home is clean. Time to teach them a lesson.
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Buy her a baby carrier so she can wear the baby while ahe does housework. Ad far as as job she may need a little time with a baby and all she’s been through but when she tell you she doesn’t do government assistance tell her you don’t do taking care of grown people not contributing at all so get on it. Its literally a phone call and dropping off some papers… Shes a full grown up with a child and she needs to do something to support the child and help around the house. Aa far as your husband and other children change the wifi password and tell them to get off their behinds and get stuff done. It’s not your responsibility to do everything. Your husband should be taking care of the house and the children while your gone all day
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Why do you put up with this? Maybe counseling/therapy to help you stand up for yourself and stick to your guns. Why do you feel you have to be the martyr like this and let people take advantage of you? You don’t. Find your inner badass taskmaster and get crackin.’
Is hubby clinically depressed or just lazy? Ask his doctor for a depression screening and get him in therapy/on meds if needed. If it’s laziness, treat him like the rest of those over 17: do your own work and get a job, or get evicted.
If your daughter is recovering from abuse, get her into therapy.
Leave for the weekend, turn off your phone. Decide what you want to happen. Develop a chore chart and parcel out the work. They should be doing it all since you’re the only one working. Decide what your best life would look like, wrote it down, and make it happen.
Who is on the title/lease? If hubs is on it too, I’d just move someplace else (with your kids under 17) and leave the lot of ‘em. Hubs will then be responsible. No forwarding address. If you’re the only one on the title/mortgage/lease, kick them all out.
Put a lock on your bedroom door and reclaim it from your daughter. She can sleep wherever you and your husband are sleeping now or buy herself an air mattress and sleep on the floor with her son.
Move all your money to an account in your name only that no one else has access to.
Give everyone three months to get a job and carry their share of the load (including applying for benefits. Lock up the TV and any game consoles in storage or with a friend. Cancel all but your own phone service. Tell everyone they have a month to figure out how to pay for their own phone and Internet, then change your plan to cut them off, change the WiFi password (ask a co-worker if you don’t know how).
Only do for yourself. Do NOT cook, clean, or do anything for any but the youngest of the kids (anyone over 12 should be able to care for themself).
Then change the locks, put their stuff in boxes on the front lawn with the address of the nearest shelter.
Enjoy your new, more relaxed life. You will be doing everyone a favor by making them self-sufficient.
I’d re-think being married to hubs. What does he contribute to your life? I’d start researching separation and divorce. When you have all your ducks in a row, separate and kick him out.
Time to lock the grown children out of the house from 7a-7p until they contribute. Divorce the husband, he’s worthless.
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Girl give everybody an OUT DATE and your going to put it in writing. Grown people do grown things including getting a job. Their children their problems. PUT THEIR ASS OUT IN 90 DAYS MAX. Mean what you say put the cats out as well.
Husband needs to use a (Pen or pencil) and fill out that application as well. Sit down or lay down in your own bed. Look for another apartment and leave everybody if need be.
But, don’t lose your mind trying to figure this out. WE JUST SOLVED THE PROBLEM
Oh well you choose to do it so dummy you…
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Only YOU can put your foot down and change it immediately
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Don’t clean cook or wash their clothes go on strike I did and they got off their ass never again will I be used like that!!
So sorry you are going through this!
I would drive her ass to the county office walk her butt in there and make sure she fill out all the paperwork for housing assistance and food stamp and wic . Set her but up for work force center cause she is a able body and she can work .
Oof i wouldn’t even try to argue it anymore, I’d give them an ultimatum. Either they start taking care of their cats, or (and trust me as a fur mama it kills me to say this) the cats get rehomed. If they don’t do their own laundry, when it gets to you it gets thrown out. If they don’t get jobs, you pay for your own things and thats it. They need groceries? Good, go buy them. That shit makes me so mad! How dare they do that to you!
IMO you should beat your grown daughters a$$ and tell her here is your chore list get it done or your not providing for her any more 
I mean if she doesn’t want to help you or herself quit enabling her. They get a job and help or they get on federal programs and help in the house plain and simple
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Believe me, I feel for you. So now it is tough love time. Give your grown kids an ultimatum–no help with the house (cleaning, cooking, laundry, etc) no living with Mom & Dad. Period! There are options out there like you already listed plus housing. I am on your side.
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I would give them a hard life lesson and let the house go… Don’t cook meals. Don’t do dishes. Don’t do garbage. At least you’ll be gone working while they sit in it. Eventually someone will have to clean or move out lol
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I feel like you were overwhelmed before the daughter and baby moved in… now it’s just an extra person… IMO your husband needs to get his shit together and you need a vacation
Maybe you should go get you a one bedroom apartment and leave them to take care of them selves
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Family are sometimes the hardest people we have to deal with. I know its difficult but you have to set limits, boundaries etc. Have a family discussion and tell them they have one month to get a job, help around the house starts immediately. She can put the baby in a playpen. She should apply for any help she can to help you
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Get your own place 
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Why did u give her your room?! That in itself is nuts. Rest is a train wreck you are letting happen.
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Hubby doesn’t work, put him to work watching the kids! Tell your daughter get a job, she now has daycare! Split chores evenly. Give everyone a list of exactly what you expect them to do.
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I would stop buing food for them and stop cooking I would eat out everyday. When there is no food someone else wiil have to step up to provide. When they ask why you don’t cook tell them you are to tired because all the work you have to do . I did that with an ex who did not want to work after 2 weeks he immediately found a job
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I hate to say it, it’s time they put up or get out sometimes tough love has to be done
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First step is take your bedroom back. That way you have your own space. Give everybody their own chores. Spend less on grocery shopping to show that money makes the world go around. Tell your daughter to stop acting like a spoilt brat and contribute.
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This is insane make her sign up for everything or else she needs to move out and to clean and find something productive to do or give her a 30 day notice. Shes an adult thats crazy to me. I was pregnant at 16 and my kiddo at 17 and moved out on my own and was w0rking and going to college. She can do it! Stop enabling or shes going to take full advantage of a free ride.
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I’m sorry you have two grown daughters in your house. You shouldn’t be lifting a finger when you get home they should clean do laundry cook dinner the works!!! Don’t want to work can’t work what ever get assistance!!! We need to eat and have a roof over our heads then I need help!
But I agree I would not do anyone’s laundry but yours cook just your self and hubs food. Mark dishes so you know which ones are yours it will suck for you for a little bit because of the mess but they should get it!! They are grown and mama needs to put her foot down. Including with hubs. Or tell them they can leave even if you don’t mean I
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What. In. The. World???
Ma’am. U better take ur life back ASAP. Why is she in UR room?? Why are u doing HER laundry?? 
so many questions. If she’s too good for any of that she should be too good for ur house as well.
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Give them space and go stay somewhere else where you have the opportunity to only care for your own self 
Cuz that’s bullshit 
Woman move out and take your kids that need you. Leave ya husband and grown daughter to figure it out seeing as they can’t be bothered and love living off you.
The cheek of your daughter to say get a second job would’ve landed a good punch on the mouth if she was my kid.
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Ok. Id say you need to leave for a bit. Take a break. Go on a “mini vacation” for a week and show them that you do everything. I know its easier said than done, i know you dont want to hurt them or leave them, but you need a break and they need to realize how much you do for them. You need to show them some tough love
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Well if they’re not going to help snd appreciate you snd help they need to go
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NUT UP!!! 
I did and they seen me so angry that I just sat down in the middle of the floor and threw a bitch fit! My daughter started the dishes and son the laundry. It scared the shit out of them. I told the I was leaving to get away from them for a few to calm down and I walked into a clean kitchen and 3 loads done. I had done had enough of everything and everybody 
Edit: My kids are about to be 18 and 15 so they’re more than capable. Just being lazy butts 
Ive taken in my grown daughter and her children from leaving an abusive situation and it was understood from the get go that she WOULD get a job and she HAD to apply for any and all assistance she could get (because it is her place to provide for the children she brought into this world) and she HAD to pick up after herself and her children or they could go to the battered women’s shelter. I made it clear that I would support her mentally, but it was her place to support them financially and physically(cleaning, cooking, laundry, etc). I also would tell my husband if he can’t get unemployment, he needs to get off his a$$ and help pay bills and until he does he can do the housework as you work fulltime. And if they had the audacity to tell me I could get a second job, I’d pack my stuff and leave them to figure it out on their own. They have some nerve and they’re gonna continue to treat you this way until you do something drastic to prove your point that you’re fed up. Even if it’s packing up and going to a family member or friends fior a few nights.
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Tell her she doesn’t have a choice but to sign up for some type of assistance or get a job. Tell your husband that it’s man’s job to take the trash out, and if nobody is gonna contribute you’ll be leaving and you’d like to see how they’re gonna survive without you since everyone wants to be lazy!
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Wow I am so sorry! If I was as blessed as your daughters were to have a mom open armed welcoming me and my child into her home while being in a tough situation I’d do everything possible to help you!!! I’m not sure if my advice is any good but, I’d put my foot down and make her apply. If not, make her get a job and help out/clean. Or, apply for those things for her yourself if she won’t. Idk why she wouldn’t, I’m sure she’d get approved fast and they could get her on her feet. Your husband should 100% be helping you as well. If he dosent want to work at least make sure the house is clean. All those people and no one can help out?! I’d pack my belongings and stay at a hotel for a week, make them think you left and tell them to figure themselves out or you won’t be coming back! Sometimes you have to warn and if that doesn’t help show them you are not playing anymore games! It’ll make them realize what they have. Thats not fair at all!!!
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Move out. Find your own place to live. Let them work out how to eat, clean and generally do something to survive.
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Nope . No . Nada ! Your house your rules ! Daughter can get a job ! Husband can get a job . All family members can / will work and do chores . They don’t like it ? They can leave ! You have GOT to get control NOW or you will lose it one day soon .
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Whata heck?! You gave them a hand and they took both your legs too! You need to stand up to those adults in your home. This can’t be happening. My mom would’ve kicked me out, tough love style. Vida Lucia Chavez Vaneida Soto
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Instead of kicking them out I would take your pay check and get a one bedroom apt and let them fig it out . Seriously
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It’s tax season, claim every last one of them on your return 4 CTC and 2 dependents you’ll get like $900 each for your daughter and husband. And you can also apply for food stamps listing them all as your dependents as well as your grandkid.
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If that was me, I’d be finding another single bedroom apartment and moving out, taking all of the money with me. Sounds like they all need a reality check to me
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Get on board or GTFO
Side note IC can be a very good job but why does your husband need you to activate his ic card and work with him?
You just activate it in the app…and bringing anyone who is not an approved IC shopper with you is against the contract and will get him deactivated
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Give them noticed. If you can’t help with housework and help with costs then you will need to leave. I can’t support your all. I will give you a month to shape up or you are out
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Wow I’d totally loose it. I’d just tell them if they don’t start cleaning and helping out you’ll go stay with friends and let them all fend for themselves till they realise they need to help you out. Let them struggle for a bit so they will start appreciating you cause that is not fair.
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Boot up the ass out the door with the lot of them your a skivvy for the lot if the wasters included your husband
When you get home try your own self awareness.
You mentioned what everyone is Not doing…
You are the only working adult…
Eat before you get home , come in layback on the couch or in a chair and pretend to be the dad.
Your done for the day.
If they ask what is for dinner.
Tell them you are to tired and really not hungry so whatever they make or find will be just great
I know how hard it is to not give in
I have 7 grandchildren and their momma’s by my 3 boys
They will eventually blame you for not caring but once they see you are not coming back the way they had you twisted
You will be calling asking to see your grand babies lol
Enough is enough but we all have our own breaking point
Do not let them take you
From yourself…
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Jeez your describing my life for the last year ! Re housework I now just yell a lot . They have certain tasks and they need to be done before I get home or I lose my sh*t. On top of which I’ve made them all go and work part time . I no longer buy any luxuries , I’ll buy food and that is it . If they want personal items or beer or tobacco or anything quite frankly now they have to pay for it. They are also expected to pay £25 a week each towards bills . I still can’t get them making dinner and the evening post dinner clean up is still a
Challenge but The changes that have been made have made a hell of a difference in my mental well-being I must admit . Stay strong and hold your ground ! Xx
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People treat you how you let them treat you… best advice ever given to me. You need to change what you allow.
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Stop cleaning there stuff, don’t do there washing or pots, keep a plate bowl and cutlery clean just for you and keep it out the way from them and then they will soon see and hopefully start getting there act together. I know it will be stressful for you because it will be a mess but it worked with my partner. As of your daughter and baby, I know its hard but sounds she needs a push, meb give her a ultimatum on if she dosnt start pulling her weight or get a job she is out, meb sit 1 to 1 with her and tell her straight. I know they your kids but they will keep walking all over you unless you put your foot down and stop allowing them to do it. I’m so sorry this is happening to you xx
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I would tell her and your other grown daughter to get a job. You can’t pay for everything.
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