Dont go home after work come home late when everyone is sleeping and stop doing for them make you food and if there is enough left over someone can have it.
STOP letting yourself be walked on. Wash only what you need, cook for minors and yourself. Buy only what YOU need.
It seems like they have taken advantage of your kindness and walked over you stand your feet down and draw your line.They are grown adults and should take responsibility. They will never learn if you keep on spoon feeding them
As the mother of both adult children put your foot down. You are enabling them to take advantage of you and mad because they are taking advantage. Go on strike.
She is a grown ass woman kick her ass out and tell her to go find a damn job and a place to stay. You did your job by raising her for 18yrs your job raising her is done!!! And if she isnt ready to have a job and be responsible then she sure the fuck should not have spread her legs and got knocked up!!!
You’re the only one working? Cleaning? Cooking? Not gonna lie, my ass would be in a motel without any of them. If they call or text, ignore them or send them all a notice letting them know you won’t be back at the house until some of the adults a job & the house is spotless for atleast a month. Get rid of the cats.
P.S. they won’t keep the grandkids away for too long. They’ll need something from you eventually.
Divorce the oldest child and stop enabling the others? Pay what needs paying so that YOU don’t get any come-back but let them pay their own way with the rest. DON’T pick up after them or do their washing. Create your own locked space where it can be as clean and tidy as you like and you can store your food etc. X
I can’t even begin to imagine how stressful this must be on you. My heart goes out to you…
I was that daughter… that moved in with my parents… with a baby… no car, no job, no drive to better myself.
My mother left me with no choice but to work, put the baby in daycare, and have me a time frame on when I had to be out. She helped me save, helped me sign up for WIC, and get the baby’s health insurance situated.
I fought her in the beginning, but she set a better foundation for me to care for my family.
But you can’t continue to allow her to act like she is still the stay at home mom in that relationship. She has to grow up real quick.
Both need a deadline on getting a job or you need to kick them out. If he’s a stay at home dad then there is no reason for you to have to clean up a damn thing. She needs an attitude adjustment before she gets out in the real world with your grandson.
KICK THEM ALL OUT!!! The grandchildren can stay obviously they’re innocent in this situation. Give them an eviction notice just like a landlord would. 30 days to find their own place. Good luck.
You deserve what you tolerate. Make house rules. If they can’t follow, all adults in your house must move out.
Your husband can literally go by himself and take care of that. He’s a grown man and you shouldn’t be pulling all the weight. Second, your daughter is an adult and no one is going to come in save her but herself. I understand the living with you, but she should be pulling her weight. It’s literally not an option. She has to understand what it’s going to be like for her from now on. It’s just her and her baby now, she needs to learn to cope with that. That means sacrificing a lot of things. Baby needs to be in daycare or watched by a family member, she is a single mother now. She needs to learn to utilize what she has in front of her and she should be planning. The baby can be put into a wrap and she can clean the house, especially her areas. Anyone who is home during the day she be responsible for the upkeep of the home while you are not present. Stop doing things for everyone else and just yourself, they will learn or they can leave
Oh, H to the NO! They all need to be responsible for keeping that house in order since you are the only one working! Each of them should have duties around the house! I would DEFINITELY not tolerate what you are going through being the only working member in the household!!!
Instacart not a job??? Pretty sure it’s work just like everywhere else and I’ve made over $700 in a week which is more than any “job” I’ve ever had. Kthx.
Sounds like your hubby is an enabler to your grown children. Put your foot down with all the adults.
You teach others how to treat you. I am guessing this didn’t start yesterday, your kids are adults and don’t know to clean up after themselves. Someone spoiled them and needs to start somewhere to let them know they need to do for themselves. That many adults in the house with no jobs, everything in the home should be done before you get there. Take charge, family meeting, assign chores in the house to everyone not working. Once another adult gets a job, redistribute, ones not working should do most of the household work.
You gotta stand up for yourself and give tough love. I hope it gets better for u
Oh, no… Heck no! That is your home. You have got to put a stop to this immediately. I have a grown sister that lives with our Mother who is in her late 80s. I had to move to another state because of the trauma that I withstood. I travel back and forth to help my Mother keep her house intact. Up until almost 2 years ago when my sister made it impossible for me to even darken our Mother’s doorstep. This is going on over 10 years for me. I am still willing to do it. Did I mention my sister’s got a drug and alcohol problem? Just giving that as an example, I’m willing to do whatever it takes to make my Mother’s life livable. She deserves that. You deserve that. She’s under a lot of stress, is the only one that cooks and cleans. Our Mother is very lucid in her mind, Thank the Lord, but her body is shrunken and she suffers from pain issues. She is seemingly unable to put her foot down. Sounds similar to your circumstances. Madame you do not deserve that. I don’t know how old you are, but you will age incrementally faster with the pressure that you’re under. You’ve already raised your grown daughters. You welcomed them back to into your home, only to burden you? That’s not how it’s supposed to work. You need to put your foot down starting today. They have no respect for you. No Integrity for themselves. It is possible that you have contributed to doing too much for them, but you should not have to be suffering for it. They are ungrateful. Obviously, they don’t know the way the world works. You shouldn’t have to be worrying about doing anything but going to get money. Your house should be cleaned, the food should be cooked. You should be able to come home and relax. Rejuvenate. However, you missstepped in your daughters upbringing, it is not too late to start now putting your foot down. We want to hear from you again! You can even inbox me. I see within just an hour’s time how many responses you’ve received. This is unacceptable. I am praying for you my Sister. We are here to help!
I’d tell them to get it together or get out!!
I’d say give them an ultimatum starting today. Take time to sit with yourself and write it all out. What about your support system? I actually don’t have one myself, except for my Mother, but if you have a support system, they should be offering advice to you. And it’s not be your own support system. You can do this! We have faith in you. The worst that could happen is they’ll just be mad. Oh well. They’ll get over it. But you can’t recoup lost time. And once you get all worn down, it takes too much energy to come back. You deserve to spend your free time doing the things that you’d like. You’ve already built a life for yourself. Don’t let anyone take that from you. Not even your own children.
My opinion is gonna be hated but I seen it personally work wonders give them 30 day notice that you will be evicting them and filing for emergency custody of the babies do a check list on the fridge of what needs to be done Dailey find homes for the animals pets are a adult responsibility just like babies only buy baby food stop all cooking and cleaning and if it doesn’t help let them know you are moving out and calling cps my family member had to do this to her two grown sons and daughter in laws they over ran her house brought home a bunch of reptiles and dogs and in 2 months time she had $500 in damages and the county was on her ass about the state of her property she gave them a month and the end result she now has custody of one grandson and her 1 daughter in law stayed with her and now does right tends house and both babies while she works both sons and the one daughter in law is in the wind can’t find them
I say take your check pay basic light , water, rent, gas if needed for heat. Take the rest and get a room. Pull battery from phone . I would grab a large pizza and a six pack . Stay for a week only going to work. Don’t forget clothes and hygiene stuff.
Let them live in their nasty stuff. Tell them you will come back with rules when they clean up.
Been there done that you need to think of yourself if they aren’t going to help they have to go!!!
Leave for two days and see how they like doing everything!
I am blown away by what you are allowing in your own home. Why does your husband need you to do that for him with ic?
Clean off your own plate literally!
Eat on your way home and to work, when you get home wash your own clothes. Don’t do a fucking thing in that house. Like at all. If they wanna come at you tell them you’ve been working all day and they need to figure out their own shit. Don’t buy anything for the house because if they don’t contribute by cooking and cleaning since your the only one out of the house working then they need to figure out how to feed themselves.
My husband works and he does not have to lift a finger when he gets home from work. No cooking, cleaning, washing clothes. Nothing! I stay home and take care of it all, because he works outside the home and I am inside the home. They should be doing that, and there’s plenty of them to do it!
Stop allowing this bullshit and stand up to the bullies that think they gonna run all over you because you are letting them.
Omg, your living my life 2 years ago, put your foot down now, make her at least apply for food stamps and section 8 housing, to expedite things
Kick husband to the curb. He is grown and you’re enabling him to be lazy.
Your two grown daughters? They can be responsible for cooking cleaning laundry and the cats.
One can work one shift while the other watches the kids and they can switch off. If she is comfortable enough living with y’all she can be comfortable enough to let her sister watch the baby. I just see a lot of excuses and b.s. from her.
Using her situation as an excuse to leech off everyone and take advantage of you…
I have complex PTSD and it sucks but when you’re a parent you have to suck it up. You have to apply yourself. Get a job find safe childcare options. You have to pull up your big girl parties and what needs to be done. Government assistance is there for these reasons right here. She needs to apply for the help stop hollering it’s a waste of time. How is food for your child and a place to live a waste of time? Oh of course. Because she knows momma is there to take care of her. You need to stop that immediately. Tell her she has a week to get it together. Go get on the list for government housing and food Stamps and wic. Same for your other adult daughter now that I think of it. Why her grown ass living off you with her kid? It ain’t no wonder the daughter came back with the attitude she has. Your husband taught it to her. She saw you allow it with her sister. Why not?
As for the cats? Who do they belong to? I’d give that person 24 hours to start taking care of their pets or I’d be finding a new home for them.
You are allowing the behavior. Stop it. Or don’t stop it and continue to live the way you are and kill yourself slowly. That’s to much on one individual.
As for the taking a second job comment. Hell sounds to me like you got 5 jobs already. Your normal job, raising your husband, raising them kids and grandkids , full time maid, and full time pet sitter
Make the rules she sticks to it or she’s out it’s YOUR home. Big enough to get pregnant and bring a baby in the world, gotta be big enough to raise and provide for the baby too
Sorry this is happening but put your foot down. All these grown ass adults need to contribute. Stop enabling them by cleaning after them. They can cook themselves, and do their own laundry. SMH. They’re taking advantage.
Leave for a few days, only buy food for yourself, don’t clean up after anyone, if you pay cellphones, WiFi, tv have them turned off besides yours because that’s all luxurious stuff. You need to show tough love. Your daughter needs to suck up her pride and go apply for assistance because that’s what they are there for to help parents in need who have hit rough patches. Choose yourself. Your family is capable of taking care of themselves
Give them both time to get a job if they don’t they can leave period.
Your house, your rules! If not agreeable pack her stuff and show her the door. You have spoiled her she is not an adult she’s an overgrown child she should be getting food stamps and WIC to help pay her way get a back bone and do this for your own Sanity
Leave for a few nights and show them reality, especially the new mom aka your daughter.
Leave them to fend for themselves
Leave them! See what happen!
Get a counselor and have a session with the whole family. If you can’t afford that I know one who would do it free.
You need to open a can of whoop ass on them. I am so sorry, but they are all taking advantage of you and it’s just wrong.
Stop doing all that stuff. Taking care of their cats, doing their laundry, cleaning up after them. They’ll start to see all that you do.
With all the kids and you being the only wage earner i bet you qualify for food stamps.if you have an i phone or internet most states let you apply on line
Rent a hotel room for a week leave them to fend for themselves
First tell your spouse if things don’t change he will be the first to go. He clearly doesn’t plan on getting a real job nor does he work around the house and he is not standing by your side making your kids get off their butts. I would then say to the kids, you are next unless something changes around here quick. Give them a time frame and then I would kick out anyone that hasn’t did their part to help out. Don’t let their laziness stress you out anymore. It’s called tough love and it works. Either they, the capable of helping, would be out or I would leave and leave them behind.
She needs to get assistance and move out or get a job. If you can’t get them to pitch in I would go as far as telling them you’ll move out pay for your own new bills. They’ll kick in. If they don’t , then … get yourself a little apartment and take a nice, soothing break. Temporary separation. For as long as you want. You have every right to stand up for yourself and unburden yourself of others’ needs. Otherwise you will go insane or crack.
Make sure the apartment has a good bathtub too
Noo. She needs to help. Period!!! I have 3. Have been abused… You name it. My kids are my life. I work NOCS so no one watches them but family can stay over night . my oldest is 14 now. She baby sits over night if all else fails. She CAN AND HAS to do this…
It’s not fair to you. Talk to her. Tell her to work over night.
everyone that is old enough age 8 and up need to get off their lazy ass and do the dishes do their own laundry and keep the house spotless. I have 5 kids and they have done their own laundry since age 8 they have cleaned the whole house since age 9 or if they all don’t help stop buying them stuff stop cooking and cleaning for their lazy butts
and who ever belongs to the cats they take care of them not you you are being abused
and your husband needs to grow up and either get a damn job or do all the work at home he has no excuse
Put your foot down. Set rules and if they don’t step up kick them out or you leave.
Pack your stuff n get out
Call a family meeting
Tell them all that the party is over … since you’re working and they’re loafing around all day you should be coming home to a spotless house … tell all of them (with the exception of the small children) that they are to have jobs and contribute financially as well … if they can’t abide by your rules show them the door … the way you’re being treated is disgraceful … and tell them that they are to clean up after their cats…
Tell her and the rest of them, if they can’t help around the house then they need to get out and find their own place which they can live in as a pig sty but it’s not happening any more in your home! You have to put your foot down with ALL of them otherwise it’s going to be to your detriment
If that were me, anyone over 18 would be kicked out. “Husband” included. And the ones under 18 would get all luxuries taken until they learn how to help cleaning around the house. And if they don’t, send them to live with dad
Go out and get your own little apartment without them knowing you did. Then the day you move out, you just walk out and say now your all on your own. Because I’m done here.
Old enough to have a baby, old enough to hold a job and contribute AND help clean up around the house.
An idea get rid of cats that are not yours. If no one takes care of. Then I force evictions, otherwise proof of applying jobs
I’d have a few choice words for anyone over 16! They are a bunch of users & they are all taking advantage of you! Stop being a door Matt. Tell anyone without ab appropriate excuse to get off their buttons & get jobs. If they need wicked, make them apply! You owe it to yourself & them. Take care