"My question is: I have a 16-year-old child from my first marriage. I remarried six almost seven years ago now, and we are so happy. Before I remarried, my husband said he didn’t want any more kids. He already has 2.
So I did what I thought was the right decision, even though I wanted more kids, I went and had an ablation done. So for 6-7 years, no chance of getting pregnant. 2019 I underwent chemo/radiation for colon cancer and had to have a permanent ostomy.
Last Wednesday, I believe I started my periods again. I would love to have another baby with my current husband. He’s afraid of complications that could arise since he saw what my cancer did to me. I’m going to contact my doctors and get their feedback. What are your thoughts?"
RELATED QUESTION: Anyone Remove the Implant a Second Time to Try and Have Another Baby?
TOP ANSWERS (AS SELECTED BY MODERATOR):
“Think about your health; if something happens to you, he have a baby to rear all on his own.”
“You married him knowing he didn’t want more children. His concerns and reasons for not wanting more children are completely valid. Pressuring him to try to have a child together can damage the relationship and may not be worth the damage it can do.”
“Please check with your doctor about your ‘periods.’ You should not have them if the ablation was successful, I think.”
“You have a 16-year-old, how old are you two? He might not want any more kids because it’s literally starting all over once you are almost nest-free. And you married him knowing he did not want any more kids.”
“If that’s something you truly and really want to do I say go for it! But if there’s a chance you won’t or can’t be able to for whatever reason adoption is always an option!”
“Definitely contact the doctor and see what they think, if its even really possible. And once you get that info talk to your husband. If the only thing that’s holding him back is him being worried about complications have him talk to your doctor also.”
“You got married knowing he did not want any more children.”
“You should talk to your doctor and get as much information as you can and then sit down with your husband and discuss it. He might be less afraid if he has more info.”
“Is he only afraid of complications or is he still not wanting more kids? If he’s only afraid of complications then yeah talk to your doctor and see what he suggests… worst/best case scenario-wise… if your husband maybe changed his mind and both of you want a baby, then go for it. Good luck.”
“If your doctor thinks it’s safe enough go for it. If it’s not safe, I would look at maybe adopting or a surrogate.”
“He made it pretty clear what he wanted before you got married… I would definitely take a moment and look at it from his perspective and not expect too much.”
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