He only “needs” you so much because you allow it…be a parent…children are suppose to learn from you. Have another baby so this one can grow up into a toddler.
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I have a 6 year old and a 3 year old. My 6 year old has been doing nearly everything by himself since 4. My 3 year old is up my butt a lot of the time. But she has done nearly everything by herself since 2 years old. Bath (with supervision). Feeding. Dressing. Sleeping in her own bed since 6 months old. Occasionally in my bed when she misses her daddy. I’m currently 30 weeks with my next girl. I have no worries about having another one due to the fact that I have not allowed my children to stay stuck in an infants ways. Toddlers need to have independence. My daughter still wakes 2 times a night when she doesn’t feel well. Or to go potty. Otherwise she’s a great big girl. You have to put your foot down with him and teach him he will be fine without mommy in his eyesight 24/7. Starting by making him sleep in his own bed in his own room. Sounds spoiled.
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I have 7 kids. I’m an only child and was horribly lonely I wanted a sibling so bad. My mom had 9 miscarriages before me and 2 after me. So I knew I wanted a lot of kids. That being said my older 5 are 2 and 3 years apart. My last 2 from different marriage are 5 years apart. My oldest 2 are 2 years apart and are best friends (they are 22 and 19 they live and go to college together). Well my 2 youngest are both girls and thought they would get along and they fight all the time and they are 8 and 3…I wish they were closer in age. But to each there own, your stronger then you think. Good luck
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I’m not going to comment on parenting because I feel like it’s no one else’s place to judge or comment on what you do if you are happy with how things are. But I’ll ask does dad have any one on one time with your boy? Maybe you can leave for a few hours once a fortnight and give them time by themselves. He may respond better if you aren’t in the house at all:) gives dad time to bond as well.
Sibling wise. I think if you try for one more now then it will be a good age gap. Sure in the beginning your toddler will need probably a lot of assistance with transitioning into having another baby at home but one day that baby will get bigger and be more interactive and fun and your toddler may love that. Someone to play with and muck around with. May take pressure of of because he will be occupied with bub and love it
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I have a 2.5 and 6 month old. They adore each other but also get a little jealous of attention or play time. Both are independent in their own way. Bottle love sleeping in their own bed. Your child behaves that way because you allow it. Oh and my husband and I are only children. It can be done
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I’m not sure some of these comments were helpful, moreso condescending, which is not what this forum should be.
My daughter used to want me to do everything because I gave in and did everything. We slowly learned that we had to suffer through a few nights without mommy and my husband took over - exclusively - on some things. Bedtime was a key one. He started putting her down and we just let her be upset about it until it became the new routine. It was nearly nine months later that I started alternating bedtime nights with him. Bath time was another one - it became exclusively a routine he took over. The habits will be hard to break to quick to form…it will be hard on you all to move away from mommy doing everything, but so worth it! The key is consistency. You have to let him do it until it becomes the new normal. Some things may not work as you progress through being baby led, but pick the things you think you can give up like bath time, bed time (after breast feeding if that is still the case), etc.
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Definitely get some parenting counseling. (Make sure the counselor has raised children herself) You’ve got the ‘love’ part right but could use some help in other areas. Make the changes advised by counseling before having another child. Good luck. Parenting is not easy. We do our best and then when they’re older we see what we could have done better! 
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He is only behaving like that , because u allow it … I’m pregnant with my third boy , my first 2 are 3 yrs 13 days apart and no they don’t always get along but most of the time they play and love each there
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No two children are ever alike. The bases of not having another kid can’t be you’re scared of repeating the second one. You next kid might want nothing to do with you outside of your boob. You just don’t know. Mine are polar opposite.
I have a 9 year old stepdaughter, 3 year old girl and soon to be 10 month old girl, honestly we haven’t dealt with any jealousy with any of them. My 3 year old is a huge mommy’s girl and our 10 month old wasn’t planned at all, so I was worried about my toddler and a newborn but honestly I think it was the best thing for us, My 3 year old and 9 year old help so much and all adore each other. Granted, we have some days that are tough but never horrible. Im sure the teenage years will make up for it lol.
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2.5 year no longer qualifies for ‘baby-led’ approach - is that even a thing? Child needs to learn some self-soothing techniques, and to be a toddler. Enabling the continued baby behavior is not going to allow for age-appropriate cognitive development. I foresee serious attachment issues, and most def. problem teenage years if this continues.
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Sounds like that toddler doesn’t have any boundaries. I get that breastfeeding makes them closer to you, however you may need to pull the plug on that soon so he can get into his own bed & learn to soothe himself sometimes.
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Start them out right away, home from the hospital in their own beds. I had 3 and none of them were ever in my bed. Off of bottles and drinking out of their own cups at a year. None of them had a problem. Sorry your having so much trouble. All kids are different. Try to start making him more independent.
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It is no way of knowing. I have a 9 year old daughter and a 4 year old son and they are each other’s world. I also have a 20 year old who loves having much younger siblings. Lol
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Seeings how he is clearly In charge and running this family/household, ask him… 
girl, step up. Be mom. And put your foot down.
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Sorry but you need to be a bit firmer with your child. Your letting them rule your life. Put your foot down. Your not helping them. You will lose your husband too. Go out together. Leave a trusted adult to babysit sometimes.
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My husband and I share duties with our daughter do she will be happy with either one of us doing whatever she needs. I never started the cosleeping thing because my mom is works Dispatch at our local jail and a baby passed away with their mom cosleeping while I was pregnant and it terrified me. It made for some sleepless nights but shes 4 months now and sleeping through the night in her crib. This momma is going to have to initiate the cry it out phase late in life for the little one. I believe I’ll spoil my daughter but there’s also a fine line between spoiling and turning her into a spoiled brat. Shes allowing this behavior. A 2 1/2 year old does not run your life you’re the mother. Its not fair to the father that he cannot give him a bath without him crying for you. Be in the room too but let his father do the bathing so he sees hey its okay and each time leave the batbroom sooner until he doesnt need you in there at all
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I have 2. My eldest is 4 and has Autism (so I can relate to the high needs) my second is 2. I love the 2 year age gap, my eldest was old enough to have some understanding of what was going on. There is always going to be an adjustment period bring home a new baby… it took 6-8 weeks for our eldest to realise the new baby wasn’t going anywhere. We let our eldest help as must as possible (getting nappies or wipes at change time, carrying the bottle with EBM, feeding ect) as our second got older they would engage in play. They still fight as siblings do but mostly they get along.
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A sibling is the longest relationship they will have in their life - even longer than the one they have with you. We waited until my step daughter was 3.5 to have our daughter, and it was a transition. It is no matter the age, because it teaches them that the world doesn’t revolve around just them. That’s not unfair. That’s life.
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My two year old hated my one year old they get along fine now he seems to be doing better with my four week old but my one year old is jealous of my 4 week old especially when it comes to Daddy but it may be to do with the fact that my one year old is a girl and my others are boys but he can be holding them both and she’ll first kiss him then try to hit him. I have two bonus sons 12 & 14 and to this day they will still fuss and fight but they are also best friends.
I agree yes Connie, he needs you so much because you allow it… however I totally understand the pull 
another baby would be a big adjustment for everyone but so worth it!! It is such a pleasure to see my kids play together and more importantly they learn relational, problem solving and independent thoughts etc from each other. A true blessing.
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Conqour climbing one hill at a time sounds like you already know you will be taking on too much you will always have time to have another but if you have a choice on when do it when the time is right mental health is so important
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My kiddos are a year apart. They’re best friends! They fight like crazy, but they do everything together. It was HARD at first, but I wouldn’t change it. I think kids will always wish they had more siblings. Mine have eachother but they still beg me for another baby brother or sister
Me and my sister were 7 years apart and didn’t really get along that great until a few years ago.
I know people who are 100% okay with only having one. Their reasoning is when there’s only one kids they get all the time, attention and resources. Putting 1 child through university is easier than multiple and when they (the parents) inevitably die, everything goes to their 1 kid and there’s no fight. 
I dont think there’s a right or wrong answer. Everyone will feel differently. I personally could not imagine only having one kid, and I wouldn’t want more than a 3 year age gap. My youngest just turned 5, and the age gap is what prevents me from having another child.
If you’re okay with just the one, then just have the one. If you want another, then have another. You guys will adjust. 
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So when I got pregnant with my daughter my little man was 2.5 years old and exactly like your son. He LOVES his little sister like to the moon and back <3 they are super close he actually gave up the breast because she needed it more (his decision I was ok with breastfeeding both of them) and he stopped co-sleeping when she started kicking hard (while I was pregnant) they are now 5.5 and 2.5 still super close like he must hug sissy before school or hes super upset getting on the bus. And she gets upset when he falls asleep before she gets a hug at night time <3
Just stick with the one. It sounds like you don’t know how to set boundaries with your child, and that is only going to lead to further trouble down the road. You will certainly have your hands full with the one in the future.
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I have 5 kids… Older 2 kids 16 and 14 boy and girl…
8 year old boy in middle…
And 2 and 6 month old girls. My 2 year old is very similar to your 3 year old, Very much a mummys girl and needing my attention 24/7 which some days can be extremely difficult but I wouldn’t change anything due to them being so close and it’s very rewarding!!
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My little ones are 1&2 they do not and have never slept in my bed because I need peace. Most of the time everything is great and fun and they are super cute 80% of the time but that other 20% when they clearly need a snickers lol little sour patch kids get sent to bed in their room, I will not be driven to insanity by cute little people, better start setting some firm rules. They are smart little ones, they get away with what you allow.
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I have 2 sons and they’re 4 years apart. When I had my first I said that I will never have a second cause I don’t think that I will be able to love a second baby as much as I love my first few years later I got pregnant with my second baby which was unplanned though but believe me you the love I have for both my babies are equal and I don’t regret for one second that I had my second born. Ever since my last baby was born my eldest son has matured so much he is so helpful where his little brother is every day when I look at my kids my heart literally skips a beat coz I just feel so blessed and highly favored by God for giving me my two healthy baby boys
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Who’s the parent here? You let that child run your life!
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He needs to learn how to do things on his own. And another child with this much dependency going on sounds like a stress test for you.
Its time for him to start sleeping by himself u and your husband still have to take time to be married u spoiling the kid to much and stop breast feeding him my kids stop by 2 parenting not easy i know
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I would wait til #1 goes to school.
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Toddlers are smarter then they seem. Have a sit down talk about a new sibling.
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I think if you don’t unlatch this one now, you will have a huge problem with sibling rivalry and jealousy
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Id wait until hes 3 
3 or 4 is such an amazing age! I wished i wouldve wait a little longer but i was told it was going ti be hard ti get pregnant again so we tried early on
What’s the hurry. I left 5 years between my 2 and so they both got plenty of attention.
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Um what? He “needs” all of this because you allow it
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Not really relevant but I only wanted one but ended up with twins and they get along fantastic
We can see who runs this family
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It wil be good to have another. He will do well in the role of big brother. In due time .
I think you have to stop bending over backwards for him . Bottom line !
Wait another year. 
Girl I am one and done and I don’t know how anyone has two kids lol.
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My two year old is the same. If I’m in the house she wants me and won’t go with anyone else. But if I’m. It home she’s absolutely fine. Maybe try leaving the house for a few hours? Does he go to nursery? That might help. Just a small session at first.
The second is totally different. You’ve been thete before so you are so much more relaxed and cruisy. Bubba feels this too 
It’s a really magical journey having another. Absolutely challenging and hard at times…but when that bond between them grows, just wow! It’s epic…like nothing else in the world. So personally, I’m all for it! 
Honestly mumma don’t stress and over think it. Just a little phase your bub is going thru, just enjoy it. Yes, have another! Siblings will grow with a lifetime best friend. I have 4 kids 2 older girls 15mnths apart and the other two are 3 years apart. I found Closer the gap the closer they are but doesn’t really matter, whatever works for you.
More the merrier I reckon💓 good luck
Seems like you have your answer already
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Don’t have another one yet
Hey your eldest sounds like mine. We noticed a huge improvement as he got older. I breastfed him through my pregnancy and co fed for a little while after. He weaned then went back on then weaned then went back on. We still cosleep and he’s 5 and baby is now 2 but he often will start the night in his own bed or on the couch. He needed to be picked up less over time. You can still fully do attachment parenting with a second. They adapt.
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I agree…not telling you how to parent because that is your choice…but my opinion is that he acts like that because you let him. Not doing so much and letting dad take over more often would help that out im sure of it. It will be hard co sleeping with a 3 years old and also middle of the night feedings with newborn…I would try to figure that out before having one. If you are fine with the way things are now and only want another one just because then I think you have your answer. It will never be easy…having kids isn’t at anytime. I have 2 and she was a little over 3 when we had our son. She gets jealous sometimes but we just talk to her and try to let her help with hom as much as possible. He loves her and wants to do everything she does and that also makes her feel like the best big sis ever! Good luck with your decision. It will work out how it is supposed yo!
Please change your mentality momma! I know it’s hard because you will never see him as not your baby boy but the older he gets, the more it gets exhausting for you and the more your partner’s relationship with him will be affected. It sounds horrible but the only way I got my eldest to sleep on his own of a night (he was 1.5 yrs old when he had his own room) was by letting him cry for so long (started off from 1 minute and built it up to a few minutes) before I went in to calm him down and letting him see he was ok and that mommy was nearby (but I was a single parent at this stage). But maybe daddy could go in and you alternate each time between the two of you… but I left it until my son turned 5 and now I have my second son who’s 5 months old (my partners first child) and honestly I wish I hadn’t have left it until he was 5…it’s taken him 4 months to adjust to having a sibling and even still, with him being 5 he plays so rough and we’re constantly having to tell him that he’s going to hurt the baby if he doesn’t stop.
My brother and me were 3 yrs apart … It was fine …he was younger I was the leader … It was all about me before he came along also I was the first and oldest grandchild … So yes not only was I spoiled with love from grandparents I was the center of attention … Having another child teaches the other child to share and learn how to get a long with others … My mom was an only child … She did fine yet she said many times she had wished she had a sibling…
I can tell you first hand go for it you will be fine and little one will do great this is me I got pregnant when my was may 18 months and this was him all the way and still is never changed anything he loves his sister to death she nurses an he still gets its amazing the bond they have
All 4 of my kids are closer in age , my oldest 2 are 11,9 youngest 2 are 5,1 (2 in 9days) my last 
.
The 11& 9 year old are the closest together, my 9 & 5 year old are only 3 years and a few months apart. And it’s the same for my 5 & 2 year old.
I wouldn’t have it any other way. I come from a big family of 7. And we are all super close in age and have great relationships.
My 11 yrs old loves being a big sister. She loves hanging out with the 9 year old but loves her baby brother who is 2.
2 1/2-3 year age gap I think is perfect. It will show him to be a little independent & know that he has to share mommy. It’s hard, 2 deal w/all my kids were co-sleepers, til they were 2 1/2 ish then they needed to sleep in there own beds.
I would try and show him it’s ok to sleep in his own bed in the same rm , with you til he’s more comfortable. At lease that worked for us.
No one will ALWAYS. Get along w/their siblings! My kids fight like cats / dogs but at the end of the day they will always be there for each other
I think I could’ve written this myself. My son was 2 months shy of 3 when our daughter was born. He is very mommy centric and still is (our daughter is 21 months) he still gets jealous of her but seeing them play and laugh together is a feeling like no other. Of course, I still have guolt about not being able to give him 100% attention sometimes but we make sure we do things just the two of us. We go on “dates” while daddy watches his sister and in all honesty it has strengthened his relationship with my husband because when there are 2 of them you just can’t do it all. PS. my son weaned when I was in the hospital having my daughter.
Honestly, you answered your own question! You are spoiling your child and letting your child dictate to you how you are going to raise him so no, you don’t have time for another child. It is entirely up to you how you are as a mother but there are always consequences and rewards depending on your approach. Have you sat and thought about the future and how he will be later in life? Is that how you want him to be? If so then you are doing what is right for your situation, if not, then you need to make some changes and it won’t be easy but it will be worth it
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One stop breastfeeding…no need to be on the boob that long. That’s the problem with parents these days. They let their kids run things. You make you child have that needy attachment by breast feeding. Start transitioning to a toddler bed and stick to your guns. Occasionally have cuddle nights but you will regret it if you don’t start having you child be more independent now.
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Honestly I wouldn’t consider another one until he isn’t so needy. I have 3. The first two are 10 years apart and I feel like it was to much time in between. They got along great for a while but my oldest could care less about spending time with my middle. My youngest two are just shy of 5 years apart and they get along very well. Yes they aggravate each other but that’s normal. They love to do everything together. I think waiting till they start school is better because you can have that 1 on 1 time with the baby and still get your rest while the older one is in school.
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If you are happy with the current situation and do not plan to change it, then I would suggest not having another. First of all, you wouldn’t have 2 like this… The situation with your son would make it impossible to create the same situation with another child. That second child would likely be incredibly self sufficient or they would have a stronger relationship with your husband. Another thing is that if you seek to change the situation with your son for the sake of the baby, that may breed jealousy. Also, you are likely to miss how you and your son used to be. Either way, they may not really get along because they would have very different perspectives. My suggestion is to continue to nurture this relationship that you enjoy with your son and leave it at that. I’m not judging the situation you have created, only stating what a second child would probably mean.
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DoriAnne Molina, I also raised 5 to adulthood and I couldn’t be a prouder mom of how respectful, loving and independent they all turned out…boundaries need to be set and consequences need to be set for bad behavior, the last thing I ever wanted was to raise up asshole kids
Get him in his own bed, stop the breastfeeding and help him learn some independence, you are not doing him, yourself or your husband any favors by raising a son who cannot be away from you, crying because his father is bathing him??? C’mon now…we are blessed with children and our job is to raise independent, responsible adults with minds of their own, I feel bad for your son and your husband
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Um you do realize that boundries need to be put up right? Hes your kid and everything but not correcting behavior and guiding him to be more respectful of others boundries will make him have major difficulty later as a child. Breasfeeding aside you definitely need to get a better routine for him down. Take it from a mom who didn’t with her first but with my second and thrid I did.
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I have 2, they are almost 4.5 years apart. My son is five and my daughter is 1, my son wasnt a needy baby but we cosleep and lie with him when he falls asleep. I started doing things a little different when I was pregnant, I had him sleep in his toddler bed next to my bed so he gets used to it before baby born and she sleeps inbetween us, he was fine with that. I didnt want to change everything when baby got here and make it too hard on him. I started the process over the nine months so he never blamed the baby. He became a little more needy but for attention sake other than that they get along great and it melts my heart when she calls him “boetie” and he says “Ah she is so cute I love her so much”
I have 2 boys ages 20 and 17 and they have never really fought (had spats of course with arguing) physically lol as most people would assume boys would do. I’m so glad I had my youngest cause they are so very close. And the oldest is so very protective of his baby brother. I was worried about pretty much the same things cause my oldest was so close to me before I had his brother but I made sure to include him in everything and i mean everything!! From making bottles to changing diapers. He wanted to help and be a big brother.
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My daughters are 2 1/2 years apart 16-19 and I have 3 boys 8-10 and my last bay is 2. Once you give tie for each no problem start letting him be independent. Siblings are a blessing.
I know someone with 1 child…11yrs…still sleeping with mom… parents haven’t slept together in 12yrs. Just my thoughts…I recommend at least 2. Spread the love.
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I am not trying to be offensive but WHO is the parent in your house and who is the child because it seems to me your allowing your child to control the house and that is NOT okay. If you do not turn this around you will have some major issues as your child gets older whether you have a second child or not. Let your child cry it out and throw a fit but you need to have him in his on bed you need to stop the breastfeeding he is old enough to eat solid food if he is old enough to ask for the breast he is to old to be feeding off it and three yrs old is plenty old enough that he is able to eat only regular food. take control of your situation and let him throw the fits it will last a week or two before he is done but you need to do it.
FYI it sounds like you do not want a second baby. Just saying. Still though even if your do not want a second one you need to be the parent and stop letting your child control your house.
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You need to practice some tough love. For everyone’s sake. It’s ok to say NO! I have raised 9 children. Each one is unique. I wanted them to be strong and independent. Well they are because of TOUGH LOVE. If they grow up never hearing the word no, you are going to have big issues with them as adults. Good luck and God bless you and your family!
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My kids are about 2 years apart 3.5 and 1.5, my son was a total mommas boy, and slept with us up until i was about 7 month pregnant, we put his toddler bed along our bed so he still felt like he was in bed with us. He didnt really notice his sister to much until she started moving around and now theyre bffs. He shares everything with her and they play together. I would think the longer you wait, the harder it will be for your son to adjust and for you to start over. But if you like just giving your son all the attention, it doesnt seem like you would want another kid. But do what ever feels right.
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My daughters are six years apart in age, I worried that they wouldn’t be close but they are grown now and best friends. There is nothing wrong with giving yourself a little more time alone with your son before having another. I promise you will love the next one just as much!
no offense to you but in my opinion u need to stop spoiling him…he still breast feeds at that age and sleepswith you…i only let my kids sleep with me only if they was sick…i think maybe be u should try to make him more independent. like sleep in his own bed.maybe not baby him so much. because when he gets older u will regret it…especially school aged makes them harder to be away from you…u want to make it easier for them to do more for them selves.i would honestly add another till u stop spoiling your child so much.
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Good grief. The judgy comments here are so harsh. Not your child, not your problem to how she raises her child, so your judgement and advice on tough love isn’t necessary. As someone who breastfed my first for almost 2 years, who still sometimes cosleeps with a now 5 year old I get it. She was so very needy at that age, when people asked about if I was having another I literally felt so suffocated. How in the hell could I find the time?
For me personally, I was never a one and done momma. I always wanted 2 maybe 3, it was just a matter of when. We finally got pregnant with #2 (actually #2 and 3 
) when my daughter was 4. She was 5 when they were born and I have no regrets about the age difference. It’s the perfect distance for our family.
However, I wanna add that having another child for your first to have a play mate shouldn’t be a motivator to have a 2nd. If you’re happy with 1, then it’s ok for them to be an only child. Only you know the right thing for your family. I trusted my instincts for when I wanted to try for a 2nd child. All the best from a momma that gets it!
I would say don’t. I lived what you lived and i still don’t sleep as much.
Your child needs lot more stimulation than usual kids and here, not much has changed. Mine is 7. Is really tough and needs a strong father also to set boundaries.
I have two kids and is crazy at times. I don’t regret it of course, i love them.
I just don’t have a life anymore. Try and seek help from a family therapist first, and google about gifted children.
It will bring some peace to see everything makes sense.
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There’s a lot of negative comments on here. One if you want to breastfeed then breastfeed. If you want to cosleep then cosleep. The question is do you want to change those things? Do you want him to be less needy? Do you want more time to yourself? Does you husband want more time with you? If the answer is yes to any of those you need to do the work to change it. Sleep training is hard work and your going to lose a lot of sleep for a couple days/weeks. Having dad alone go to the grocery store sit outside in the car. You know he’s safe. Those are he first steps. I’m an only child but I have three kids. They fight ALL the time over EVERYTHING. Say I wish I didn’t have a sibling . On the other hand they have a built in playmate. It sounds to me your not ready. (PS that’s fine too). Don’t let the people here tell you your parenting wrong because of breastfeeding and cosleeping and your kid being the “boss”. Parenting and kids is not the same in each household. Having a strong attachment style with your child is important to a child’s self worth but if your ready for more independence and feel he’s getting to clingy then begin the transitions a little at a time. Good luck!
Well I didnt want kids period an here I am 35yrs old an have 2 boys 18mnths apart an it has been non stop fighting since my youngest was born🤦♀️they are 11 an 13 an still fight to no end. I reccomend you stick with the one child you have an you will be a lot happier versus listening to them fight non stop
My high strong energetic 2.5 year old girl just got a baby sister and honestly, it’s not that bad. We were potty training before she came and I was so afraid she was going to seriously regress but she didn’t. She definitely turned into a complete daddy’s girl towards the end of the pregnancy. Besides stealing her sister wubby all the time and now wanting to lay next to mommy at times (and not wanting her sister between us) she has been pretty good. She doesn’t like when her sister cries and will go running to daddy crying because sister is crying but, we just talk her down and explain why she is crying and that sister doesn’t have big girl words to tell us. We are happy with our girls and love them with everything. The situation isn’t ideal (covid, currently living with family, very rough pregnancy) but we are beyond blessed. We know they will have their moments as all siblings do but, the love she already has far outweighs the stealing of the wubby. We know it’s just her way to try and get some of mommy’s attention again. And I try to give her as much attention as I can and do activities with just her (making cookies, painting ornaments, currently opening a new christmas book every morning, moving Santa in the countdown.) I dried up after 3 months but she’s tried mommy’s special milk since I’m now BF again. I can tell you growing up I was so much closer to my brother who’s 3 years younger than my sister who is 8 years younger. I feel like me and her grew up in 2 different time periods/generations and we have close to nothing in common and rarely ever see each other/talk. I like the amount of space between my girls because I know they will be close growing up but spaced enough that they will have their own groups of friends but still be there to look out for each other/be the person they confide in if it isn’t us.
If you honestly feel that you don’t want another child now there’s plenty of time to change your mind. My boys are 19 years apart so I essentially raised two only children and I wouldn’t change a thing.
Sounds like the kid you’ve got is in charge of you. Until you decide to change that,you probably shouldn’t have another kid.
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- Your son is running your life and if you want a spoiled brat for a son, you have a good start! And he will never be able to function on his own. Give him some time on his own! You are not doing him any favors and will soon lose your mate! Don’t even consider another child until this one can survive on his own without you. Do this fast or it will never happen.
The only reservation you should really have is breastfeeding. Getting pregnant can put a damper on breastfeeding or even stop your milk production. Your toddler will adapt and they will have 9 months to prepare.
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My girls are 7 years apart and they are close.
You don’t need to have another child when you haven’t figured this one out yet and will only further stress yourself out and put a strain on your marriage. Get a puppy
Mom of 6. Never knew what it was like to have only one as I stated off with twins.
Imagine letting a 2 year old run your life…
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I attachment parent in my kids it’s a good way but you’re doing this whole baby-led thing and that’s a little weird You’re the parent you suck the boundaries you decide you feel like kind of created this codependency with them That’s not very healthy He’s only 2.5 so you can start to change it but until you give him more confidence and get him kind of where he can be on his own it would be irresponsible to divide your tension away from him once you’ve created the need
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You need to sort out his routine before having another, my 2 girls fight like sisters do but they wouldn’t be without each other, always looking for each other and not wanting to be apart and they play so nice together, there’s 2 years exactly between them, a second might help your son realise that he need to be more independent.
Stop letting your son run you and your life. Sit in his room with him till he falls asleep so he can start to feel safe and comfortable in there. I recommend spending a lot of play time in there too to help. He cry’s out to you because he knows you will give in. Your to easy going. You should get that under control before even thinking about brining in another. I’m sure your a caring parent but clearly kids run your life.
My nearly 8 year old is needy i have to admit I have let him get away with things growing up and ive made a rod for my own back ive now gone in to have another child hes 23 days old and my eldest has calmed down so much honestly ignore the people saying g you shouldn’t have another because of how you son is this is entirely up to you
I have 4 kids. My first 2 are almost 5 years apart and are on very different levels now that they are bigger. It was easy when they were smaller because my daughter was 5 and “self sufficient “ in that I didn’t need to change her, feed her, etc. I had the 3rd baby when my son was 19 months and it was hard during the newborn stage, but they are best friends now. They are 5 and 7! They do fight constantly, but they’re never “lonely”! When somebody wants to go out and play the other usually follows, same with video games, etc. I think as older kids it’s easier when they’re close in age. Bc my daughter is almost 12 and she has very little to do with her younger brothers now.
I have 5 kids 20, 13, 11, 8, and 16 months. U need to put ur child on a schedule. Make him sleep in his own bed now. He is old enough. Let him cry it out. Its time to be stern. U allowed all of this to continue cuz u did not set boundaries and scheduling. U can get him off the breast if u want. Pump and put it in the bottle. If he refuses it, then oh well. Dont give him the boob. Tell him drink the sippy cup. If he wants boob that much then he can drink from the cup. He is not a baby anymore but u allowed to keep coddling him to the point u are taking away ur own sleep, ur own freedom, ur own time alone. If u cant get him under control now, then no, u should not have another child. Ur son needs to have some discipline action done. When he acts out, set him in time out. If u continue to spoil and coddle him, hes going to turn out to be a little bratt. U will be one of those moms that everyone looks and u wrong. This child of urs needs structure. 2 1/2 yrs old, its time to put him on a sippy cup, make him sleep in his own bed, put him in time outs, let him do some exploring on his own and most definitely dont give in! Let him do his tantrums, and ignore it. If it continues thats where the structure comes in with time outs. Stop giving him his way. U cant bring another child in and try to take care of a newby when u dont have the other one under control
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I have to kids and when my oldest was a toddler and i was pregnant with my second one I would tell him everyday how is is going to be a big brother and how he can help mommy with the baby when it comestibles I even so far as to buying him a baby doll and showing him how to feed it and bath it ect so when the time came for my second one he was prepared, he was so excited to be able to help mommy since he was always so close to me to begin with. Now I am not saying once the second child came it was easy because there was some jealousy sometimes but I would plan special dates just with my oldest to reassure him he was still my baby too! And I am not saying that co-sleeping is bad because it’s not because I used to with my oldest but I gradually got him to slowly sleep in his own bed that I let him pick out himself! I would let him fall asleep in my bed and then carry him into his own bed, yes it took a couple of weeks for him to adjust but now he loves sleeping inn his own bed. As for the being carried part slowly put him on the ground every once in a while and hold his hand and tell him he is a big boy and prays him “a lot” when he walks! With kids that age it’s all about praising them and making it a big deal when they are doing stuff on their own! But trust me once u have a second one and they are 1 year old ur oldest will want to play with them and teach them everything they know! My two are inseparable now and my oldest thought him a lot of things and is always happy to show mommy what a big boy he is and how good of a brother he is!
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I’m a FTM with a 4 month old. I have a very different child and style of raising said child.
But my sister has a very similar approach to parenting as you do. She has her first and she’s a mummas girl through and through. Absolutely got jealous of my son when she first saw him and was around him (now she loves and adores him and has a meltdown when I take him home). My sister doesn’t intend to have a second child until my niece is in prep. So that way she gets all the attention she wants until prep, then has prep to distract her while my sister has a newborn. My sister has said that my niece will still get the same amount of love and attention as the new baby but she will be older and able to adjust easier.
So maybe wait until your little one is in prep so he has school to distract him from having to share mummy.
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Do you have any friends or family with babies? If so see how he is around them.
My kids are almost 10 years apart. My son now wants to play with his friends most of the time. So I get a lot of one on one with the new baby. I wanted another as soon as he was out of diapers but I love how everything worked out in the end.
No age good will get along through childhood in my opinion… all kids are different and have different feelings and emotions about things. I love my little sister with everything in me and would do absolutely anything for her… but there are times even now we both could slap each other… ( we are almost 5 years apart few months shy) just facts… my sons will be close to the same age difference as my sister and I… wasn’t planned that way just how it happen! All in Gods timing. Also with him being three some things have to change for his sake. I say that from experience… my son has terrible separation anxiety I’ve been a stay at home mom since he was 8 months old… and I started him in a day school two days a week and dropping him off is still a really big struggle. But he is fine within five minutes and loves it and his teachers… they will always be our babies but at some point we have to treat them according to age. Also if you bring a second child into your sons life now he will resent you and that baby for a long time.
I am pregnant with my 7th child (6th son). Honestly it isn’t up to anyone other than you and your man if you have another child. YES, they will have to share attention, YES you will have to teach the older one to be more independent, and pregnancy can have issues to where you may have to stop breastfeeding the older as well. Every child and every pregnancy is different. Also children aren’t going to get a long 24/7 and the older children usually have an issue with the younger at first anyhow and can sometimes continue to carry jealousy. If Dad is hurt by your child always wanting you, send child with dad more to spend more time and form more of a bond. Allow dad to step in more and do more things like the bath times and what not. Routines and boundaries are very important for kids. You really have to decide what is best for you and your family. My kids love having siblings to play with but it can be rough when they fight. It is normal sibling rivalry but they also love and protect each other too. If you feel you are one and done, talk to your spouse about it. If you want a sibling for your child, again that is for you and your spouse to decide. Best age space for kids from my own experience is very close (like a year apart) or something more distant (6/7 year difference) because the older ones in the second tend to understand more, want to be involved, and also can help teach which they seem to enjoy too. (But as said before, every child is different, every family is different. What works for some may not work for you)
Because he’s an only child he doesn’t have to share you or anything. Once you have another one, he will have to learn to share, whether he cries or not. I personally believe that its great for kids to have a sibling so they have a playmate in the same house and so they see that they are not the center of the universe.
My kids are 3 yrs apart. I breastfed my son until I was 5 months pregnant and weaned him off. I also co-slept until my second was born. It took some time and effort to get my oldest to adjust to the new changes but it works out. Now the 2 are inseparable. If you and ypur husband both want another kids then do it. Just know that the routine with your son will have to be adjusted. Take it one day at a time and find what works for you.
You spoil him rotten! No more kids for you!
Time you stopped pandering to every whim your the fault not the child what happens at school wont get the same attention and other children will make its life a misery I had 4 children2yrs between 2 4 between the others they all got the same attention you are not helping your child
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