I’m taken by some of these responses. As if his possible resentment/feelings are all that matters. The issue here is… Do you both want the same things? You need to ask him if he is done having kids. If he is adamant about it, then you need to think about what YOU really want. Because that resentment shit can go BOTH ways. You could end up resenting him because you wanted a bigger family and he didn’t care what you thought or wanted.
Give your husband time, he is possibly still grieving over the loss of your baby. It could also be that he doesn’t want to put you through that risk again. Talk to him, without mentioning getting pregnant again. You are still young and have time to have more when you are both ready.
If respecting your husbands wishes ends your relationship then it was never a good relationship…reverse roles here…he cant make you do something you dont want to do and you cannot make him do anything he doesn’t want to do. Its only fair.
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It is very likely that the miscarriage put him in emotional turmoil. He may be afraid of getting his hopes up and losing another baby. I would have a heart to heart with him. Then, if he absolutely does not want another child, You will need to decide if that is something that’s going to be an issue for you.
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Honestly… Your so young. Dont rush more kids on him. If it happens it happens. Enjoy the one you have now and if God blesses you with more then you definitley know you will be happy:)
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This could end your relationship??? Wow…so you only married your husband and love him bc you want a daughter? I’m sorry but this is an extremely immature post…who is to say you never have a daughter ? What if you have another miscarriage ? I really have no words
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He doesn’t want another one. Why is that so hard?? You begging and forcing him is ignorant imagine a man forcing and begging you to have another kid against your will. Obviously need to grow up your still way to young.
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Sadly this should have been a discussion before you got married. I think people sometimes don’t discuss how many children they would like to have. Not sure what would have changed his mind. You guys are young still perhaps he will change his mind in time. But if time goes on and he still doesn’t and you do it will take a toll on your marriage. I hope you are able to work this out.
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Therapy for both of u. Sounds like he has more going on from past experiences.
The quickest way to make someone walk away is give them an ultimatum.
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I think maybe couples councilling can help. You need to feel whole and that feeling of wanting one more will never go away. So maybe some councilling
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While I agree it’s both partners choice, someone is going to have to settle. My husband and I always said 2 kids. I lost my first pregnancy in a missed miscarriage. My second pregnancy was ROUGH. I lost 30lbs the entire time, felt awful, couldn’t eat, etc. I was in labor for 3 days and ripped badly during delivery. It also is what triggered the onset of my lupus and amplified my OCD/anxiety. I love my son more than anything, but one child was enough for me. My husband accepted it (though he still comments sometimes he wish we could have another) and I had my tubes removed. Best decision I ever made.
Well first off accept you might not get a girl. You cant just pick a gender. And you both need to make the decision. Forcing him will only push him away. Just like its pushing you away because he doesn’t want another.
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Get a puppy if you feel the need to mother something, but you can’t force a baby on someone.
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Have a serious sit down with him
What if you do get pregnant he resents you and its a boy and he leaves then what? Seek counseling dont force something when the other doesnt want it
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Would this be something that you would want to end your relationship over?
I think you really need to sit down and talk to him about this because this is a valid concern but try not to beg but just have a conversation and talk about how you feel about it and maybe see why he feels differently than you do.
I would definitely not wait to bring it up but if this is a deal breaker for you then you should probably let it be known and let him know that you thought you guys had agreed on this previously.
I’m sorry that you’re in such a tricky situation and really hope the best for you.
I don’t really have any advice I was just letting you know what I would do. Like I said I hope things work out for you❤️
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There’s no guarantee of you did get pregnant it would be a girl. Your young you have plenty of time later on to have more kids. It’s not fair for anyone to force a kid on anyone
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My son and daughter are 8 years apart. They love each other just the same! Take your time. My husband acted this way it did almost end our relationship. He made me feel like we would never have kids. But it truly is timing. I look back and I was rushing to have a child before we were more stable and established. If you pressure him, it can push him away and you do not want either of you to live with “regret and be resentful “ for making the other do something or give up something they didn’t want too
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If you feel that this is something that decides your relationship, you definitely need to talk it out with him. But, on that note, you also have to understand you’re not guaranteed a girl. If you do have a baby and it’s a boy, would you still be okay with just 2 kids? How many is too many? This is what you need to think about and talk to your husband about. If you just want a child to dress up in girl clothing and take shopping with you and do girly stuff, I recommend getting a dog.
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What happens if you have another boy?
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You two are very young still!! Enjoy yourselves, enjoy your 3 year old. Maybe down the road he will change his mind. Don’t keep pushing this on him, you will just push him away from you. Yes, maybe you two planned on having kids 4 years apart. But sometimes plans dont go as planned, they change. People change and grow. If you really love him, having another child or not should not end your relationship. Go to marriage counseling together and see if that helps.
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You’re only 23 and 24. Give yourselves time to grow and mature as a family. He may change his mind down the road.
Don’t trick him and sneak getting pregnant either.
Also, just because you want a girl so badly doesn’t mean you’re going to end up with a girl. 
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Honestly I think you are over thinking this process, end your relationship, he wants to wait and you are still young and you had your first very young, Having one is a handful, think this out one more is a big change especially with a toddler. End your relationship you got to be kidding, You will love being a single parent !!!
You are very young. Also there’s no guarantee you’ll get a girl if you have another child. I think both Partners have to be 100% on the same page regarding having kids and if you’re thinking of threatening him with your relationship then maybe it is not a solid as you think
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My opinion?
Enjoy each other while you still can, I’m 26 with 3 little ones, & it’s hard, mostly hard for the kids sometimes Bc they each want to enjoy us alone as well. Y’all are still young have life ahead of y’all. Let your 3 year old enjoy y’all while he can, because once another baby comes around it’ll be hard for him to share mommy & daddy. “Go with the flow” travel while you can it’s easier with one kid. (Trust me) lol as far as your husband talk to him see what the underlying issue is. Relationships are all about compromise. There is no legitimate timeline. The universe works in mysterious ways. Good luck to y’all
What if he agrees and the new baby is another boy , would you force him for a third child … and if that is a boy for a fourth? I dont know but as the saying goes; you don’t put your d*ck in crazy
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So what if you have a boy?
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don’t have another baby for the gender. You could very much end up with a boy
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give him time, y’all are still so young. Maybe stamp another year to it. What creates an unhappy relationship is being forecful and giving ultimations.
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Dont count on a girl I’m due my 4th son soon.
Takk to him. Don’t tell him YOU want another baby or why YOU want a girl. Ask him what HE is feeling. And really listen. He may be overwhelmed with the one child you have already. Emotionally and financially.
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This is pretty tricky. It definitely sucks for both parties. It’s definitely not okay to force a baby on anybody, but it’s also definitely not fair for you to not be able to have more children when you really really want more. You are still young. I highly doubt your feelings are going to change. But, are you going to resent him years down the line, that you only got to have one child because he didn’t want more? Or do you think you’ll be content? I hope this doesn’t cause your marriage to end, but you two definitely need to sit down and have a serious, honest conversation.
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Tell him how u feel. Ask him to be honest and try to agree on something! You have to decide if him or another kid means more if his answer is no. Dogs are great too.
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He needs therapy because it sounds like the miscarriage affected him than you think and he acknowledges. Also if he doesn’t want more than you need to stop pushing because HE may leave you for it or you both won’t be happy and constantly arguing. And lastly it’s sad you’re saying that you will end the relationship over this, leaving your high school sweetheart for this. I could never imagine leaving my husband (also my high school sweetheart) for something like this. You need to talk to each other and seriously become a little more mature because this is very sad you’d leave him over this. Give him more time and stop pushing it as it could push him farther away. You may not get more kids so if you truly love him you need to accept it and love the family you have now. Perhaps in a few more years he may change his mind (I get you want no bigger than a 4 year age gap but it probably will be larger) and you’re still young so give him time.
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Enjoy having your son do not pressure your husband into another child it will only strain your relationship. You are young and have plenty of time and the loss may have put him off having kids. Stop acting as if it’s the end of the world to only have one child at the moment. You have a family , take care of your family. And when BOTH of you are ready . Try . Not until BOTH of you want it though
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Talk to him and say you both had agreed to children and that was what you had envisioned. My husband didn’t want another child after our first. And we had many losses to get our son. But I wanted another child and we are both good parents and he finally decided he wanted one when I talked to him and told him how i felt. And we are over joyed.
I’d consider counseling if it’s something you really want. You need to consider his thoughts and feelings on the matter.
Give it time, don’t rush it or him. My husband was the same way! He was dead set again not wanting another child. 7years past… I had totally given up! But 3 years ago, he himself started to talk about it. I was against it by then lol. A year after trying we became pregnant and it ended with a miscarriage. After that, I needed time to heal (mentally and physically) so did he. Now, 10 years!!! Later, we are 40wks pregnant with another baby girl. What’s meant to be, will be! Have faith, relax and be patient.
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I don’t think you’re e being selfish. Y’all had an agreement on the age gap between y’all kids (that’s a big deal to some people) now he’s backing out on the agreement. You need to have a serious conversation with him. Yes I agree with respecting his wishes but at the same time it’s not fair to you to have to put your life/wishes on hold.
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You’re both still young. If he’s not ready, yet, then wait. You have to pick and choose your battles and respect your so. Pushing him to have another when he’s not married could ALSO ruin your relationship.
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No…don’t end marriage because he isn’t ready for another child yet. Just go with the flow hon. I waited 4 years before I had my first at 24. Maybe do child care to fill the void you are feeling? The man determines the sex of baby so gender is not a guarantee.
Why doesn’t he want another one? Why does he say not now? You need to discuss it throughly, listen to each other and seek understand as to both sides. Not just begging and him saying no. It shouldn’t be just for a girl, since that is not a guarantee.
I would talk to him about it not tell him but talk. If he’s the only one working he might not think you are finically stable enough or the loss of the last pregnancy scared him. I think they might be more to it or he’s just don’t want another kid.
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Just my opinion… In a case of deciding to being another child into this world the no always wins. You have to be on the same page. That May be easier said than done, best wishes
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Just cause you get pregnant again won’t necessarily means it’s a girl. How would YOU feel if he wanted you to have another kid and you didn’t want one? You can’t force him to get you pregnant. Maybe try counseling and if he insists he doesn’t want anymore kids but you do then you might have ti split up.
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Do you love him enough to stay with him or, are you only wanting to stay if you get another baby ? What if it is another boy ? If you are thinking of suggesting divorce, how committed are you to this marriage ? If you are not 100% committed to the marriage, I do not recommend adding another child to it; because there will always be something that rocks the boat and you won’t get through the storm if your solution is to man the lifeboats.
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Use your woman ways and trap him. Jkjk
TI will tell you this? that if having another child is your Only goal you don’t need permission!!..14 days after your cycle have sex as much as possible, you can start at 12 days after, and I can almost guarantee! you will get pregnant if you have no other issues. But let me add this very importantly? I had a friend who was not married to a man but they had discussed getting married in the future and was living together? She had no children and he had a son, by a previous relationship!!!He told her he did not want any more children and she decided to stop birth control and use that method to get pregnant! Well he did the same thing. The whole time she was pregnant he acted irritated and unhappy…When it was time for them to sign a new lease on thei house they were living in? He went and bought him an Escalade SUV. And she had to move back home with her mom cause she could not afford it on her own!
Y’all are still very young, his mind and your mind might change. You have plenty of time for more kids. I had my 1st at 17 and 2 Nd at 37. Between ages 18-30ish, I didn’t want anymore kids, but as you grow and change, so does your mind.
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Tell him if he’s ever ready to let you know. You have to choose whether or not you’re okay with never having more children. And choose your path from there.
You cannot bully someone into being a parent again. If you do, he will resent you and maybe even the child.
So, one more time for those in the back, DO NOT TRY AND BULLY SOMEONE INTO HAVING A BABY THEY DO NOT WANT.
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It sounds like your husband doesn’t want another child.
Children should be wanted by both parents!
Are you going to break up your family because you WANT another child. That seems extremely selfish…
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Reading the comments on these post are just sad. Idk why woman are so judgemental. It’s not wrong she wants a daughter. It sounds like they had agreed on more than one child before they married, and now he’s changing his mind. Have you talked to him about the miscarriage? Maybe he’s having a hard time with it? Maybe he’s afraid of it happening again. I would just be honest, explain to him how much it means to you. The problem I’m seeing is you aren’t gonna be happy without another baby and he may not be happy with another. But it’s not wrong of you to want what makes you happy. Your feelings aren’t wrong, but neither are his. So if I were you I’d try to get a full understanding of why he doesn’t want another and go from there. I hope ya’ll can find a middle ground that pleases both of you. And don’t listen to rude, judgmental people.
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You need help. You can’t force him to give you anything. Get over it
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Don’t push it. You guys aren’t even 25. Give him some more time.
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My situation is very different as my two boys are from different relationships but I never wanted another one. My oldest was enough for me, I was happy, he was and is a wonderful child. I met my husband who had no biological children, that wasn’t an issue but he wanted a girl. We were together a bit, my oldest was 11, we decided to have a child. It took me 11 years to decide to have another. You’re young, don’t push something like a child on someone else. When he’s ready, if he’s ready, you’ll know.
A. There’s no guarantee you will have a girl, so I’d go ahead and scratch that off your reasons why list.
B. Try to look at his reasons for saying no objectively. Is he making valid and reasonable points, or are his reasons flimsy? If theyre flimsy, get to the bottom of why.
C. I definitely wouldnt be considering ending my marriage and effectively breaking apart my family bc I couldnt get what I wanted on my own time frame. Are you really ready to break up your childs home and stability for a child that hasnt been conceived yet? That’s not super great parenting. Its not about just you anymore. You have to do whats best for the kid that actually exsists.
D. Have you said any of this to him? I wouldn’t be rushing to have a baby with someone who’s threatening to leave me if I dont.
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Your love for your Husband should be enough to have you stay with or without another baby and if that isn’t where you’d be the most happy it isn’t right to add another little person to that mix.
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So is that all it takes to end a marriage
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He’s not ready for another one and that’s ok. Maybe fatherhood isn’t what he thought it was going to be before you had your first and now that he knows how stressful it is he’s made up his mind.
Having children with big age gaps is not a bad thing and can actually be a great thing depending on your circumstances.
Don’t put due dates on conception. It just stresses things more than necessary
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Does he have siblings? Its great to have at least one sibling to grow and learn with.
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Be honest with him, if its serious enough that you think it could end your relationship, you need to tell him that.
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Never have a baby for the gender. End of story 
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Both people need to want another child in order to have one. You can’t force him to get you pregnant (and trapping him would be an awful thing to do). Would you want someone to force you to have a child? Sit down and talk it out. If you really want another child and he really does not, you two need to figure out how to move forward. Good luck!
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This is an extremely immature way of thinking.
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If he was to give in this one time, what if you don’t have a daughter?
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Just be patient with him. He might not be ready for another kid right now
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I don’t think there’s anything wrong with ending a marriage because you decided you wanted different things. You’re not obligated to make yourself unhappy for the sake of not “breaking up your family” that’s just stupid on a number of levels.
You need to communicate with him and figure what page you two are on and go from there. Did he change his mind? Is it because of the miscarriage? Will you be able to live with whatever regret you may have from giving into him and not having any more children?
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Which is more important…your husband/relationship or another child? If its another child over your husband then you might have to find a new partner if you are dead set on another child and he isnt
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No rush! I had my last one at 36. You can’t choose the gender either so you may have to keep trying to get a girl. No point pushing a man to be a dad if he doesn’t want to be one… He will just run away guys get to do that but being a single mummy is no fun. So weigh up your relationship vs a baby. Good luck
You’ve talked to your husband: he wasn’t interested when you were pregnant…he has said no repeatedly…he is very clear in what he wants…you aren’t guaranteed a girl…problem: one of you will resent the other. You for not fulfilling your dream of a baby girl, and He upset or resentful that he created a life because you couldn’t drop it, and wanted to attempt to make you happy. That’s not fair, and not healthy. If he says no, just like for a woman - it means no. Respect his “no”. You don’t want to bring a life into a world to be cared for because you just had to have it and he didn’t want anything to do with this in first place, that’s an awful combination for an innocent soul. Hope you find your path.
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Just wait??? What if you don’t have a girl? You’re being extremely selfish to his feelings and your son is 2. Relax
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Firstly, your marriage can’t be as strong as a marriage should be if your willing to end it over a a topic you guys don’t agree on.
Secondly, your not guaranteed to have a daughter so saying you want anther baby so bad because you want a girl is silly.
Baby’s arn’t small decisions to decide on having and wanting even if you have them already having a child is a MASSIVE decision!
and … It does take two.
I would definitely try to be more understanding towards your partner and if it doesn’t want to have anther then you should definitely respect that.
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One-child is great 
It is so expensive
Maybe he feels you cannot afford another mouth to feed
And sometimes more kids add on more stress and break ups would you want to be single with 2 kids ?
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I believe you need to talk to him and find out his reasons. But if he’s adamant about not having another child and you really want another then you really should part ways. If you don’t have your baby you will resent him and if he caves and has another, he’ll resent you. Both those options makes for a very unhappy household which is not fair to your son. He deserves 2 happy parents divorced than 2 unhappy ones married
It stresses him out? Do you both work? How will the baby affect finances? Can you afford to be out of work? Day care expenses after? If you don’t work again can you afford another child? Doctors appointments, ultrasounds, delivery…all have a cost associated with them …I’m sure your husband gets stressed thinking about these things…I did when I was pregnant.
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Who says the next baby will even be a girl?
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Honestly i would give him time. I have 3 kids. They are alot. Its easy to agree to something having never experienced it and when you do experience it could change the way you think about it. Maybe he decided to change the amount of time inbetween children instead of not having another one at all? I will say… If a man is telling you he’s not ready, take heed. NEVER force something thats not wanted, it doesnt end well. I would talk to him about maybe reconsidering the time frame and if he just doesnt want another one for sure then let him know it could ruin your relationship. I will add, when you get pregnant its a 50/50 chance you have another boy or get a girl its not guaranteed.
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Just wait you are young…enjoy what you have…kids are expensive.
Yea honestly in my opinion you sound a bit crazy. In the most respectful way… .maybe tone it down and never put ultimatums on your relationship that’s not love!!! Or partnership
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Enjoy the son you have. You married this guy for a reason. You should respect him. But I can understand the fact you extremely want a girl, talk to him about it later.
Just chill jesus christ
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I was in the same boat here…my bf told me after our first I had a three year window to decide if I wanted to have another…at that time neither of us wanted another…16 years later we decided to add another child…he wanted to try for a girl but we have a handsome ladies man that is 6 months old now…he thought we would get a girl as 3/4 of the family is girls so I wouldn’t have a baby just for gender tho and if you wait long like me he just may come around just don’t pressure him
Jesus. You 23 and already pushing for more? Maybe he worried about money or idk…wants to enjoy his child now that said kid is able to do stuff? The putting a age gap thing I feel was probably said BEFORE junior came.
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Ima laugh when she does what most yall is saying -leave him- and ends up with several boys later. 
I had this happened before he didnt want to get married or have any more children we have a 2 year old and I told him if he doesn’t want any thing I want I need to move on because its holding back my dreams we broke up for a week and he was begging me to come back and we r now engaged and we r now expecting baby #2
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There are 13 years between my two, maybe be willing to broaden the age gap a little, talk about having one in the future once the current one you do have goes off to kindergarten. It doesn’t have to be a now or never situation.
I think everyone is being extremely judgmental. She wants a child, yes she said a girl but also clearly said child, half of you ignorant people act like she’s going to toss the baby out if it’s a boy. Secondly, she’s clearly been with the man since highschool so in the beginning I’m sure they had a conversation about these things before getting married. She said they are both great parents so why not have more children if her heart is set on being a mom. Seems like a lot of you woman are jealous, single mothers who’s baby daddies decided not to marry them 
Best of luck hun, I hope it all works out for you & your husband & your son! I don’t see anything wrong with you want another child & hoping it’s a girl… ignore these women they are jealous it’s clear.
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This is the reason for our divorce. Children. He doesnt want them. I do. And he knew it prior to our marriage
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I understand you completely. We had our son (unplanned) and when he was 1 i desperately wanted another but my partner point blank refused so it was never spoke about again. And then just before he turned 2 he told me he wanted another. We now have 3
(3rd not planned but wanted just as much)
Honestly give him time. Just speak to him and say theres no pressure for right now but you just want to know if its a “no, never” or if irs just a “no not right now but yes in the future” its the not knowing that is the worst.
Lol ur planing to leave him over that … ?
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Some of you are misunderstanding her entirely. Have y’all never heard of trying for a girl or trying for a boy? I’m almost 100% positive she knows she might not get a girl but would like to TRY for a girl. Also, some of you are nothing but rude. Maybe they have talked about kids and he went and changed his mind (still allowed) which yes, at that point, it could end their marriage because she still wants more kids and NOTHING is wrong with either him not wanting more and her wanting more. But with that said, that could potentially end their relationship and again, nothing’s wrong with her wanting more kids. This is an important idea for some people. She isn’t forcing him to have another baby so idk where some of you are getting the “forcing” part lol she’s asking for advice on what to do regarding their relationship and if she should give up asking about another baby.
My advice to the person asking for advice, talk to him. The best thing you can do is let your feelings out on the table and talk! He needs to know how you feel so he can make a decision also! The miscarriage could’ve really affected him so maybe try talking to him about that and seeing if that’s why he doesn’t want another baby. Don’t push his feelings to the side either and don’t let him push yours to the side. There’s nothing wrong with wanti more kids in your 20’s (so ignore the snotty comments about “pushing for more”. I’m 20 and just had my son who’s 5 months. I plan to have more after he’s 2 (hopefully!).
Good luck momma 
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I say Enjoy the fun you can have trying to make one without intending to make one and lets see what happens 
The comments on these posts are wild. What it really comes down to you is how badly you want it, and if that’s more than you want to be married to him. Your wants and emotional needs are completely valid despite what some bitter old women may think.
Sit him down and have a very honest conversation with him. Tell him how torn you feel. Tell him the thought of ending the marriage has occurred to you. I have a boy and a girl and have always wanted more and it feels like a hole in my heart. If you as a mother dont feel complete you may never.
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Lol 
4 years eh? Me and my little sister are 9 years apart. Maybe your hubby wants to be more financially secure before adding another mouth to feed 🤷 You’re young… Not like your body is going to stop being fertile in another year or so.
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Never put your life wants on hold for someone who doesn’t want the same. If he says not right now ask him when he would be ready. If a year down the road or 2 years he still doesn’t want any tell him you want different in a spouse
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I don’t think ending a relationship over it is fair to the child you have together… his family shouldn’t break up. The fact that you’re not getting your way and would be willing to destroy your other child’s life and a marriage over it says a lot about your maturity level. Perhaps another child is not what your relationship needs.
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Ending a relationship over this is NOT a bad thing. You want different things and that’s ok!
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You are young. Enjoy your one kiddo. Things change in a year or two. Hang in there mama.
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How can you end a relationship over not having another kid if you love eachother and are both “amazing parents”? Things change. Y’all ain’t even in your 30’s yet, and just because your cut off was 4 years apart… doesn’t mean that’s what it’s gonna be. How can you even suggest leaving someone over not bringing another life into the world that they aren’t ready for? forcing someone (man or woman) to have a baby when they aren’t ready can cause alot of resentment and you don’t want an innocent child to be in that situation.
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Your young you still have plenty of time. You would be very very silly to leave him over this. Stop pushing the issue with him and see how it goes. Enjoy the life you have with your son and husband now or you’ll end up a single mother and regret pushing him so much
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