Hi, I’m a mom of 3. I’m now a stay-at-home mom. Cause 2 of my kids got diagnosed with type one diabetes within six months of each other. This past year. It has been hard to find someone to watch my kids cause of it. When I do find someone, they want $150 a day just to watch my kids. And I can’t pay for that!! I’m not sure I how can go back to work. I do everything around the house, and I’m there for kids with their diabetes, and I’m there for my husband with his diabetes as well. He will text me or call me while he is at work and says I need you. And I drop what I’m doing and load up the kids, and I go straight there to him. I want to work, but I’m not sure how I can make it work. But I feel like I would be a horrible mom for leaving them and my wife.
You need to come up with a safe plan for all them for when you are not around. Educate your kids and teach them what to do when they need insulin. Your husband should already know but if he doesn’t you need to teach him too. Also have another safe person that knows the family and circumstances that can come in case of an emergency. You’re not being a bad mom by going back to work. By doing this you are helping them become more independent. One day your kids are going to grow up and live on their own and you can’t run to their rescue forever. Educate them on taking care of themselves is the best thing for your family. Good luck Momma!
You should find a online business that allows you to do home life and get on and do posts and make money. A lot are what you see on Facebook. Keeps you open for your littles and husband.
I’m a single mom of four all of my children have Neurofibromatosis 1. Yes all but my youngest are able to go to school. But she is on disability and DDD. I know that sounds like the easy way out but going by what you posted it really sounds like you NEED a break and or just a little time for yourself. If not just to find you again so you can be there for your children and husband…
Also have you tried reaching out to any Support groups?
Best of luck to you mama you are amazing 
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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. I want to go back to work but feel like a horrible mom for leaving my children due to their health issues: Advice?
You have a husband or a wife? I’m exhausted maybe I read it wrong. $150/is ridiculous. I’d charge $250/week for 3 kids. Tell your husband he may need to be a little more adult like when it comes to dealing with his diabetes. If you want to work, he/she should be helping to facilitate that.
A wife and a husband? Or am I reading it wrong?
Apply for childcare assistance if they have it where you are and find a daycare that can meet the needs of your kids. Your husband is grown and while he may have health issues, he is grown and it is not your job to put your life on hold to take care of him. He is perfectly capable of making sure he has what he needs throughout the day so that he can survive. If you are ready to go back to work, you need to start taking the necessary steps to do so or you will eventually grow to resent your family. There is nothing about being a working mom that makes you a bad mom. You want to help provide for your family, you can do it.
How old is your husband? I’m assuming he has had diabetes for some time? Shouldn’t he be able to look after himself? He should be able to control his diabetes for himself. Unfortunately there might be a time when it’s bad and he will need help but on a day to day basis he should look after himself. Depending on the age of your children, they can be educated regarding their diabetes., it will take a while but its not impossible. At the age of 7, I went to school with a girl who’s mum left her at home to see herself off to school, this girl had to injection herself before she left the house!
Kids at my school come in the nurses office all the time to get checked and to get their injections or pills! Your husband is grown and knows how to take care of himself! If something were to happen to your husband you would have to go to work. I would go to work. Your kids will be fine at school they have school nurses trained for this. Your husband goes to work every day and he can take care of himself.
Your husband is a grown man ,he should be able to tend to himself but your kids can’t … definitely need to have a conversation with him about you going back to work and how he can help you out with that
Your husband can look after himself. And help you too.
Sounds like these kids aren’t in school which is probably why they want so much for 3 kids everyday so the school nurses can’t help here but you should look for daycare assistance if your state offers it or maybe try a work from home job so u can be home with the kids and someone who can just help out while you’re doing work things
Look into child care assistance program for your state, I’m in Texas but form FL and both states offer daycare assistance with proof of employment and how much you bring a month and all that.
$150 a day “just to watch my kids” you have THREE kids and if that was broken down into let’s say 8 hours that’s 18.75 based on that If it’s a longer day than even less which is totally normal pay for a nanny just so you are aware and that’s even on the lower end to be honest. You need childcare yes but a nanny who caters to your family only is a luxury that costs money. Look into home day care options that’s often the more affordable option although still not cheap seeing as it’s 3 kids.
Damn what you feeding your kids
Or you could get a part time job working around your husbands schedule so no childcare needed
Ummm 
so ur husband with diabetes can work but u can’t 
not even a side hustle? 
I hate lazy housewife’s 
it’s people literally who are care takers & work 
these comments have a few because they are making the breadwinner a issue & deflecting instead of seeing this for what it is.
You husband is taken the piss
The kids ARE your job until they can look after themselves.
You cater to them too much you started it now you have to contend with it. They claim they need you because you’ll come running and they know this. They need to depend on their selves do things for you. If you’re working you can’t run to your husband . Figure out how to get to work is that $150.00 per kid or both. My husband has diabetes too. I don’t do anything for him my son has a mental illness he does things for his self too. I’m here to help but I WILL NOT DO IT FOR THEM because sometimes I’m not here I work 2nd shift
That sounds like a needy ass husband. I’m sorry you have to drop everything and run to him. You should maybe sign your children up for disabilities? Idk if it would go through but if you can’t work because you have to take care of them, they might be eligible.
Baby lord have mercy on you, I feel so sorry for you. I done been there & done that, it’s hell when everyone depend on you. Yea get out that house do what you need to do for yourself for a change ok, don’t wait til it’s almost too late please
Sounds like (and there’s nothing wrong with it at all bc I’d want them same) you want to work so as to have something for yourself. Money, time and space from all of the care you have to give to everyone but yourself. You deserve that. Idk how old your children are but they need to learn from a young age how to manage diabetes and your husband is an adult. If he’s not following the diet, etc he’s supposed to to stay well, you shouldn’t have to drop what you’re doing to tend to him. I come from a family where most everyone has diabetes, high BP and arthritis and thank goodness everyone has made it to at least 80s. Don’t beat yourself up for needing or wanting to work. Look into child care assistance through local social services. Many blessings to you and your family.
Start off part time and work days ur husband is off so om those days he cam handle everything and you’ll feel more comfortable leaving the kids with dad since he should know better than anyone else how to take care of the kids and himself
I know exactly how you’re feeling pertaining your children. I myself have a child who has type 1 diabetes. When he was first diagnosed with it he was 7. I took off for two months but I decided to return because I knew this would be a life long illness until there’s a cure for it. It hurt me to the core but I did it. I prepared his lunch everyday for school and my family assist with after school care. It’s very challenging and I find myself from time to time having a meltdown when his numbers are high. He’s now 13 and still does not understand how serious his illness is. I say all that to say this…you can do it! Say a prayer, find a good support system and go back to work because that’s something you want to do. We do everything in our power to take care of our children and hold back on our wants and dreams. Be encouraged 
Go to the Nutrition Group. Work in the cafeteria and be home before they are. 850-301-3020. Tell them I sent you and what hours you want. Can possibly pick a school if there are openings
Your husband calls you to go to his work? Wtf?
My daughter has type one as well so I know where your coming from. The way we did it was I worked part time at night after he got off work. That way one of us was always with the kids.
Who tf is asking for $50 a day per kid. Honestly I don’t think taking care of someone with diabetes and keeping levels at a neutral point where they are ok, isn’t that difficult and shouldn’t be charged so much more for their care.
I took care of my grandma daily for years (from around 2006 till 2014 when she passed away) with her diabetes, arthritis, bad hips(both needed replacements) heart failure (got 2 surgeries in the last 2 years) and the 2 shoe boxes full of medications her doctor had her on. And never batted an eye about it.
You’re not gonna be a horrible mother and wife for working to support your family better, if anything that makes you an even better wife and mother. I suggest trying family members to watch the kids if any are available or live near you. Treat them to a home cooked meal or pay what you can to them, something small. If they’re family they’ll understand that times for you and your husband are hard.
Work part-time while kids are in school. Best way to do that is work for the school district the days and hours line up with the kids being in school. As for your husband make him a go bag of the things he’s been needing you to help with while he’s at work.
You re not a horrible mum and wife
You need to talk with your husband about a system that works for the Both of you
Nobody can expect you to give up your LIFE
I’ve no advice other than the helpful ones you’ve had but I wanted to give you the biggest virtual hug ever. Don’t forget yourself too. Easy said I know but please do try. Xx
Take on positions that coordinate with ur families needs. One takes day shift the other night shift. If not look for stay at home work.
I’m type 1 myself.
How old are your kids? Why aren’t they able to be watched by a regular daycare/school? Type one isn’t something they can’t live a normal life with. Check with their endocrinologist about getting a CGM that will show on your smartphone to give you peace of mind.
Im sorry this is going to sound harsh.
I think using ur kids as an excuse not to work is crap. I have 5 children and have always worked.unless they are newborn u should be able to work. Diabetes is not a crippling disease where u can’t work
“Momma” just know you are appreciated. You are loved! Hugs going your way. My 4 yr old daughter was just diagnosed in June 2021 so I understand you. I will be returning to work as well but I have my mother in town who will be help me with her for that I blessed and super thankful. Please take all the support you can.
Im a little confused
There’s blood glucose scanners which can be linked to your mobile phone so you can be alerted when sugars are high/low. There’s also a pump that releases insulin, therefore no injections… you’re husband should be able to take care of himself and if he can’t stabilise his blood sugars he should either go home or to hospital. He should take himself an emergency hypo bag.
Personally if i had 2 kids with medically issues i would stay with them until they can care for their diabetes themselves. I wouldn’t want to leave that responsibility into some ones elses lap.
You could try to get something working from home maybe. You could maybe do an in home daycare for other mother’s in your neighborhood who need to get back to work. Or you could try to get a friend or family member to babysit at a more realistic rate.
Work a different shift than your husband
Go to dhs and request child care assistance and what ever you can get. They should also qualify for disability and you can get more assistance and money there.
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. I want to go back to work but feel like a horrible mom for leaving my children due to their health issues: Advice?
If they are trying to charge you more because of the diabetes, that is illegal. My ex husband has type 1 as well and he managed it without my help. You need to do you too. Good luck!
Depending on your income I’d see what childcare is available through your state/county. A lot of places have head start programs or childcare assistance. It would go by your husband’s income at this point. Either that or find someone who watches kids out of their home rather than a traditional daycare. A lot of them are stay at home parents just trying to earn extra money and you get to build more of a relationship with the people watching your kids.
Can you get caregiver benefits for caring for your children?
Maybe you can find a work from home job
Have you tried getting your kids on SSI? I don’t know if you can qualify just being diabetic. But them having possible learning delays because of not being able to be at school does
Yep stay home…get a job u can manage from home.Kids are priceless.
Maybe just a part time job in the evenings when hubby could watch the kids. We all need a little something outside of home.
I received Disability for my Diabetes, have them checked for Diabetic neuropathy also
Start the process o
First of all, your husband is responsible and can manage his own diabetes. Maybe you can work when you husband comes home from work. Different shifts.
I know a lot of people who are diabetic and they manage their own diabetes and have things in place so they won’t have to rely on someone coming to their rescue. That will help diminish some of the responsibility there.
You can still work with your kids having diabetes. Look into subsidies for daycare if it’s available.
When I read health issues thought you meant something serious like cystic fibrosis or something along those lines.
Diabetes is easily manageable.
150$ a day , honestly that’s a really good price for 3 kids . But if you can’t afford it probably try to find a job at home or a part-time one that then your husband can watch the kids while your at work .
Also your husband is grown ass man. Why can’t he manage his own diabetes?
All he’s doing is showing your kids that it’s a crutch and to always be dependant on someone.
You must always put on your oxygen mask first. I can tell you that if you don’t get a purpose outside of your wife and motherly duties you will eventually snap. You will mentally crumble at some point. I would look into any type of help offered through insurance. They do not share all the things that insurance actually covers. Classes for your kids to learn about how they can manage their diabetes. I was a teacher for 18 years I had first graders with diabetes but they went to classes to teach them about their disease.
My partner has type 1 diabetes, he manages his own by doing his blood sugars regularly to know wether he needs insulin to bring them down or sugar to bring them up, you’re husband is a grown man, he should be doing his for himself, he’s not setting a good example to ur children on how they can lead a normal life. My advice would be to speak with you’re husband & explain he needs to take over looking after himself, as for children, unless a caregiver is having to give them insulin I can’t see why anywhere is quoting such prices a child is a child with or without diabetes & you’d be paying for the service of watching the children only if the children can do it for themselves…
Its good support you are doing for your husband but he should be dealing with his diabetes his self an not always relying on you .he has to teach his kids they can do it themselfs an not always need help.i know its hard ive had it 22 years now.i say get a part time job for now if you can
Your husband is a grown man. He can take some of the burden from you and learn how to properly manage his diabetes. No reason he can’t monitor his glucose and learn to eat properly and give his own insulin. You should not have to constantly drop everything the second he tells you to
150 a day for 3 thats pathetic. I’ve babysat for yrs and no wY dux I ever or would I every charge that ridiculous amount. Wow is all I can say no wonder you can’t work
Right now with the pandemic a lot of companies are hiring for remote work look into it good luck 
Amazon work from home
Diabetes is not a death sentence.Your husband is a douchebag. He is doing that on purpose because he knows u will drop everything when he calls. Stop doing that.
I’m not sure what her dilemma is? How old are her children? Should I assume that they’re not school age and need constant monitoring of their blood sugar and multiple insulin injections throughput the day? And what kind of work is her husband doing? Is he unable to eat properly and take his meds? Does he need a new diabetic regimen or what? Perhaps he needs a “sit down” with a diabetic nurse or counselor. I’m not trying to be a “smart a$$” about this… I’m a diabetic. But unless your husband has other serious diabetic complications, he’s leaning on you toooooo hard. Now your kids are a different story, they need your help and guidance. I’d try contacting an diabetic organization that specializes in children with diabetes and see if they can help you or direct you to some agency that can. I’m sure you’re not the first mom that’s been in this situation. And no you’re not wrong for wanting to work outside of the home. I’m sure you can find a solution…you and your husband just need to get together and figure this thing out. Good luck!
You could work night shift
If you can manage on your headbands salary, stay at home. What are you going to do when they start school?
Honestly all y’all saying diabetes is easy or manageable are tone deaf. Diabetes is soooooo hard! You constantly grieve it. It’s a LIFELONG battle and care ebbs and flows! I’d say stay home with the babes until they are a little older and have learned how to test, administer their meds and can TREAT lows!!! Lows can be life-threatening! As far as the husband goes. Maybe he needs help with meal prep and time management. That is how we manage this disease. Don’t be hard in yourself! Two kids and a husband with a lifelong chronic condition is enough work to hold you over for several lifetimes ! You got this! Remember to REST. And be gracious to yourself! You’re doing the best you can with what you have! Hugs!
Being a diabetic is not a disability … Eat right and take insulin … Sounds like you need to research things . There is absolutely no reason for someone to over charge to watch these children . And they definitely don’t need to be thought that being diabetic is a disability .
Sounds like you cant or shouldn’t i completely understand wanting too but i judt don’t think its going to happen for you
If your kids are old enough they can manage their own T1. If not you may have to wait. Or get a part time job for when your husband is home from work. Do you have dexcom? If not, I would highly recommend it. You would be able to watch their numbers from work. Diabetes is hard, but your husband does not need you to come care for him at work. I’m sure he is quite capable of managing it himself. Maybe he needs to be more responsible with watching and managing his BG. But that he can do himself. Sounds like he needs to be a bit more independant.
Maybe try Door Dash, Uber Eats, Instacart once your husband comes home. These gigs give you the flexibility to work when it’s convenient for you.
Please stay home with your children you won’t regret it. There will be time to work when they are school aged at least
A grown ass man needs you? Seriously? What he needs to do is step up.
Work from home… or try to
I’m a type one diabetic mum with a blind child and two other children also. I survive day to day life. It isn’t a death sentence 
Just give yourself some time, understand things around you.
How you can manage.
You can do work from home , online good jobs or part time jobs…and then when you adjust with your kids timings and everything you can work full time.
I would watch more kids at home like a babysitter or get a work from home job if possible, or a part time job, or talk to your kids doctors… ask them what you can do to be able to work away from the kids… maybe they can give you one of those clip on devices for your kid’s arms that syncs and monitors their sugar levels so if it’s low or high you can tell them what to do (if they’re old enough) or maybe have someone like a family member come over and assist them. Or if you do get a job ask your employer if they can work with you if you had to leave to tend to your child’s needs
Oh honey your perfect for work from home… I don’t know what is available, but I have a cousin that travel the world and sets up a computer answering phone calls of a hot line from where ever she is… Phone and computer is all she needs… I’m sure if you look that you may find a piece work or work from home jobs…
My mother did child care before she retired and she watched a boy who had T1 and he took so much of her time that she couldn’t care for the other children in her care . At the time she had him they could not find a way to stabilize his sugars . So if someone is able to take on a child with health issues . I can understand them having to charge extra .
As the other said I agree with finding a job in the evening when your husband can watch the kids . Hopefully you won’t have to drop everything to go home if he needs you . Not many jobs would allow that . Work from home is a good idea too
Stay home with your kids.
- your husband is a grow as man and should be looking after his own diabetes especially at work! As for the kids there’s a few options you stay home and find an online job you could do, or you could get a job on different shifts that your husband so zero day care costs, or you could get a sitter for a few hours until hubby comes home. Look at all the options and go from there but definitely make hubby start taking responsibility for his own health! If he can go to work he can take care of himself.
All these people saying work from home… tbh unless ur a big time manager just responding to emails and typing all day most work from home jobs are call center type jobs… which u can’t tend to other home matters or active children… could u imagine calling somewhere to get assistance for an issue and they said “hold on i got to change a diaper” or “please hold my kid is thirsty” I work from home and I’m able to throw a load of laundry in afew times a week while I’m working but that’s about it… I have to take my baby to a sitter every day…
Give it some more time, make minor changes as needed including dietary changes. Get a hang of things and a schedule, once everything starts running smoothly then get a part time job, something flexible! Good luck
There’s lots of jobs you can do from home. Just do a little research and you’ll find something that suits your needs
Don’t feel bad on either account. Diabetes can be hard to manage. Would it be possible to find something where you can work during the hours your husband is home? Or maybe a work at home opportunity?
Doesn’t sound like u can go back to work then
It all depends on how old the kids are .living with type1 can be very difficult and a learning curve for both you and your kids once it’s understood and accepted it will be alot easier to go back to work take a bit of time to fully understand the diagnosis im a 32 year old type1 18 years now and still struggle some days so if your kids need you stay home
Some of you are rude as fuck. She doesn’t wanna stay home maybe it’s not for her. I was a stay at home mom with my first for 15 months I had bad ppd, once I started working I got better, I went back to work and school a week after my second was born. Being a stay at home mom isn’t for everyone.
Now for poster
Maybe post some ads find someone who knows and is willing to learn quite a bit about type 1 diabetes. I missed being home with my children but I still spend so much quality time with them when I’m home. I always bring them out to beach, park, ext when I’m off. And honestly I love how exited they get when I walk in the door from getting off work it makes me feel good 
Do freelance remote work. That enables you to stay home with hubby & kids and still have that extra income. Also, you might be able to get help from a medical agency that might be willing to watch your kids for a few hours or day per week that your hubby can use his insurance for. You need at least a few hours to a full day weekly to retain your mental wellness. Get listed on LinkedIn by opening an account there.
Leaving them and my wife ? That doesn’t make sense, I’m confused ?
First of all. Learn how to prepare meals that will control diabetes.
Make sure to have them stick to their medications.
What is your talent.
How about baby sitting other children who are diabetic.
Not all men can deal with being sick so work things out with your husband for example prepare home cooked lunches that he can take to work. Make sure he take his meds so that his sugar levels does not fluctuate.
You are not alone.
Some people talks bulls but until they have to stuff their foot in a tight shoes they will never understand.
I work full time and my two kids have Autism. Don’t feel guilty. If you have the opportunity to stay home, then do it. But I have to work and I just tell myself its all for them.
Research or call disability. State you can’t work due to the medical issues of your children. There is a program that pays you to be able to be home. Not a lot but enough to make the difference.
You need to chill with jump jumping up and go into your husband’s job whenever he talked about I need you you need to take care of yourself that’s what he needed that’s just dumb I’m sorry but that’s just dumb
before you have kids you need to think about how you will pay for everything.
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. I want to go back to work but feel like a horrible mom for leaving my children due to their health issues: Advice?