It sounds like he resents his ex for only wanting expensive flashy things and loves you for your non-materialistic, adventurous personality.
Are not getting gifts a deal breaker for you? If so, leave now. Otherwise, you’ll both just end up in an unhappy relationship.
It’s not selfish to not want to be with someone who doesn’t give you what you want, but to string someone along while they aren’t and clearly are making you unhappy, (I’m sensing there’s more to this than just not getting presents and cards) is selfish.
I get being bummed about not getting anything for occasions or even just because, but if it’s bothering you so much you’re coming to Facebook to get advice, it’s pretty clear he isn’t what you truly want.
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My X was a cheapskate. Buy the book the five love languages maybe his is different from yours
My partner does not do anything romantic for me in the slightest, he has never even bought me a mothers day gift ect, we been together 11 years has not asked me to marry him! least your boyfriend has asked you haha! All jokes aside it does not matter what he bought his ex, He clearly loves you to propose ?xxxxx
No i don’t think you are materialistic. Don’t listen to these ladies your feelings are valid and you have a right to be upset. Little efforts and actions mean the world to me. I couldn’t imagine being with a man who couldn’t show the bare minimum of how much I mean to him. Apparently communication isn’t working maybe you should just leave find someone who will make you feel loved and appreciated don’t settle for less. Take this as a sign life is too short to be unhappy.
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Ok…you’re NOT in love…leave
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Do not marry this man. You both deserve better .
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Really you’re comparing his ex still and you’re engaged , keep a lengthy engagement just in case
You should not waste anymore time on someone that makes you feel so bad. Wrap the ring like a gift and give it back. Then get on with your life without that jerk.
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Are you seriously bitching and whining because he got you a ring!!! And saying he didn’t get you anything??? If he normally doesn’t do the whole gift giving thing and he did this time, obviously you got something. You should leave him… not because you deserve better, but because HE does.
If this bothers you and you didn’t even get excited when he proposed, Honey he isn’t the one for you!!
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Ummm I got a “hey I got my taxes back. Let’s go ring shopping” 
count your blessing girl!
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You should just tell him no and move on. We’re all different and we have individualized needs. You voiced a need and we’re ignored… he’s not the one. Don’t let anyone make you feel bad just because they don’t agree with you or have the same need.
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Ask him where he got the ring ?? If it’s his baby mamas I would’ve asked 
and I’ll tell him I’ll post the ring and make it public and see his reaction …I’m sorry but I would’ve felt some type of way too
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My husband, now of 21 years, proposed to me while he was laying in bed and I was hugging him. No ring, no show and nothing materialistic. Just love. I won’t go into what happened previously that night as it is touchy but I don’t want gifts. I enjoy our time. With all his deployments in the Army I learned his time is the most valuable gift he can ever give. We’re not big on gifts. From what you said you don’t sound happy. More like settling. If you think it is baby blues seek help from your doctor or therapist before making rash decisions. All the gifts to his ex means nothing as you see the end result even with all those gifts. You need to find your happy before anyone else can be happy with you. Gifts are fine and dandy but if the feeling isn’t there they are just empty mementos. If I made any sense there. I pray for your happiness.
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“Comparison is the thief of all joy”. If you want to feel down and depressed, all you have to do is get on Facebook and compare your life to everyone else’s highlight reel. But the truth is you don’t know what’s going on behind the scenes in those relationships that you’re envying. He might not be the most generous or romantic person, but does he provide you emotional stability? Is he faithful and respectful? Can you build a life with him? Is he a good father? Does he help with the baby and the other stuff around the house? Those are the important things, that’s mature love and the love that lasts. I am not saying that you should stuff your feelings, maybe the two of you could read that book “The 5 Love
Languages” together and meet each other half way. A lot of us also have negative self talk patterns where we will tell ourselves things like “he’s only proposing because…” is that your intuition telling you that, or a habit of negative self talk?
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Don’t you think you deserve better? To have to tell a man to get you a gift is so sad…or even having to hint to him.He should want to surprise you with cute things and make you smile…but he doesn’t. It’s been five years….
Let me guess…you said Yes lol 
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5 years with him Leave then
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I think your boyfriend Is saying your different from his ex as not marerialistic.
Don’t buy him things unless special occasion.it sounds like you both don’t know each other very well.he obviously wants the person not materialistic and you however small want the materialistic.
If you’ve not got excited,he’s not the one.
It sounds aswell like your comparing to his old relationship. People are different. But sounds like your not compatible.
I feel you should be happy
OK well, it’s been 5 years. You fully know that’s how he behaves but have chosen to stick with him so like…You can’t really whine about it and use those things as excuses to be miserable. People don’t change. As you’ve proven yourself by still buying gifts after saying you won’t until he buys you gifts.
Relationships shouldn’t be based on material possessions or gifts in the first place. If you love him who cares about gifts? Buy yourself stuff. You’re an adult. Birthdays and Christmas and such are for children.
I make a huge deal about my children’s birthdays. But my family didn’t ever do that for me, even Christmases my parents handed us all money. That’s it. So I don’t care if I get gifts or not. I celebrate myself 
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Your feelings are valid, don’t let some of these comments make you feel bad for wanting effort!! Half of these women would be typing the same paragraph if their SO didn’t gift them anything, don’t let them fool you. Wanting a gift doesn’t make you materialistic. I would be hurt also, especially if that’s your love language. I would definitely sit down with your partner and be straight forward if you haven’t already. Best of luck❤️
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It’s only going to get worse, and as the years wear on, the resentment will grow
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In my past relationship like this I calmly asked for his card so I could order my own gifts. With the engagement ring I picked it out myself with him paying for it. It didn’t work out I was always making the effort and never got it back.
Different love languages. Do some reading on the topics. It may shed some light. Good luck
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Move on and find someone who buys you gifts and makes you happy
Why are you gonna be unhappy forever?
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Girl. My husband and I only buy stuff for the kids. Before kids, we had a rule where we don’t buy anything for each other for holidays. Do you do things together? Do you eat together? Do you live together? You do things, together. Why do materialistic things matter to you so much, you can’t accept his ring? You’re not meant to be, period.
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Tell him u like little things, thoughtful gifts that make u happy, its ok to want more , ur not asking for much. Let him know u expect these things, that they make u happy
I’ve been with my husband 18yrs. I’ve gotten flowers 4 or 5 times, a few cards for holidays, I didn’t particularly like how he proposed either as it wasn’t romantic BUT he doesn’t cheat on me and is loyal AF, if I really want something I ask for it and he usually says get it if we’re ok on money, gives me the best sex I’ve ever had, cooks dinner when I’m too exhausted from work or springs for take out cause we’re both exhausted. He never takes me for granted. My point is NO MAN IS PERFECT. voice your feelings period. A lot of men aren’t in touch with their feelings and sometimes need to be told and if they don’t then end it. Go find a man that will. Relationships are work…marriage is too, but it takes both to make it a well oiled machine
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Run don’t walk. He’s obviously a narcissist
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You’re acting selfish.
And if that’s you and you’re not happy, why are you with him
He may not like buying gifts, regardless if he did with someone else. I personally hate it, gives me anxiety (even for family) and gifts don’t make any relationship special.
Of you can’t be with him because of this, then let him be with someone who appreciates his time.
And I presume you said yes and accepted the proposal, Umm, why did you say yes ? So you got a gift ? So u had a ring on your finger when you’re not even happy with the person. 
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LOFL and you ladies call it love ONLY if he opens his wallet… that’s sad
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I think that, beneath all the talk about gifts, what this really boils down to is that you just aren’t in love.
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So it’s quite obvious you two have different love languages. He probably felt neglected in his previous relationship because he was speaking her love language but she wasn’t speaking his.
You’re love language is receiving gifts. His seems like quality time maybe even acts of service.
Once you stop thinking in YOUR love language and start training your brain to recognize HIS love language, you’ll notice the things he does because he’s loves you.
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Sometimes I really wonder if these are real people and situations, or if it’s just some content created type of posting going on for the page.
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Leave hun. You deserve better xx
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What if it was all he could afford? Maybe he got it at a pawn shop or second hand store….why does it matter what or where it came from. Be happy he wants to be with you. Expensive gifts don’t mean anything.
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Oh I feel you.sucky feeling
Lmaooo I wish I could send him this. You’re a brat.
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It’s the gesture behind it, I get it. These ladies bashing you that isn’t right. His love language may not be that, and yours probably is. Once you both understand and know your love language then you have a direction. You guys can go in
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Hell girl friend
You get it better then I ever did
With my ex for over 10 years
Most times I would just get a hug and a kiss on important dates
Such as birthdays , Christmas , Easter or an anniversary
Occasionally I would get a bunch of roses throughout the year
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You all realise this has nothing to do with money amounts or “opening your wallet” and all to do with effort. My partner and I had to have similar conversations. It’s not that I expect a 2k hotel and 500 roses, but even a handwritten card, a home made meal, etc etc to be like “Happy Valentines Day, here’s your gift”. To just hand someone an engagement ring is a joke. My love language is very much showing effort, so to me I would genuinely hand it back, laugh it off and say try again. HIS love language may not be the same, but he also needs to take into consideration that her love language needs to be met, and he doesn’t seem willing to do that. At all.
I’d sit him down and tell him he needs to start making said effort or you can’t do it anymore. BELIEVE ME, these feelings will get worse, they will not get better. If your needs aren’t met you will not be happy. He needs to start listening.
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Never stay with a man who doesn’t make you happy.
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my husband doesn’t do gifts and yes I buy him gifts all the time. I got my engagement ring as a christmas present and I couldn’t care less because it’s not about gifts. We love each other and to me that’s all that matters, he stands by me and backs me. That’s all I could ever want.
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What you allow will continue. Leave. Took me 17 years to figure this out. I understand love languages too. My ex’s was gifts. Mine physical touch. I thought I could tolerate the gifts he gave me as a trade out bc I knew that’s his love language but after years of not getting what I truly needed it broke me down. It made me feel worthless and resentful af. Even if you understand his love language and vice versa if you can’t love wo what you need then you need to leave!
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Happened to me, my fiancé proposed, and I was disappointed. He kept kinda hinting that it was going to happen, he asked if I wanted to see in his bag, he didn’t even get down on one knee. I always thought that the moment was supposed to be special but it wasn’t, I actually hated that he ruined that for me but, I suppose I was also happy that he wanted to marry me. Even though I was the one who was constantly nagging him about it. Some men just lack common sense.
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I got Mexican for dinner from my man and I got him a card. It’s just another day. He apparently loved you enough to get a ring so what’s the big deal… 
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Wtf is this horse 
?!
You’re mad… because he GOT YOU A RING AND PROPOSED… for Valentine’s Day, but didn’t get you anything else?! He gave you EVERYTHING. A lifelong promise to love you.
Dude… some guys just aren’t the writing out cards, gift buying type… and that’s okay. You just have to decide if you’re okay with that.
If all that bothers you is he doesn’t buy you things, little or not… I don’t think he’s the issue.
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A lot of these women have low standards and it shows. You get what you put up with.
Meaning leave!!
Not because he didn’t get you anything else for Valentine’s Day like some of these ladies are saying but because it’s becoming a habit of you feeling left out and that’s not fair to you! You can’t be the only one putting effort.
The fact that he doesn’t think about getting you a gift not one day of the year is a problem, not just about Valentine’s Day.
It’s the gesture that he is thinking about you is what you are looking for not the gift of course and clearly he is not making efforts.
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I think it’s important for you guys to both find your love language and research what that means for both of you and work together to become and expert in one another’s language. It sounds like your language may be receiving gifts. This is literally a language and you shouldn’t have to feel bad about it but since his language may be different it’s important to learn each his because that’s why he may not be able to understand you.
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Probably is his ex’s ring n he handed it down to u. Sorry
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Y’all have different love languages. Grow up
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Idk to me it seems like you’re unappreciative of what he does give you. I didn’t get a valentines gift but I also didn’t give my husband one. We never do. I’m not envious of other peoples relationships that get gifts and give them. I just appreciate what I have. Maybe he couldn’t afford a brand new ring and got one from a pawn shop…. I always see things like this in here and people are like “Leave. Run.” How about be an adult and talk to the man who spent his time proposing to you………
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Maybe he ain’t the one for u. It’s not a bad thing. Just be realistic and honest with yourself. Cuz if u get married all that stuff will not magically start to happen. There’s 16 different types of personalities and people love up on each other differently.
Sad. Leave him. There is someone for everyone. Not all men treat their spouses like this. The connection isn’t there for you. He does nothing but leave u feeling empty. That’s not love. You can find happiness. And money can’t buy that♥️
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Sounds like he’d be much better off without you anyways and you just said no gift but doesn’t a ring count as a gift? You sound like a whiny, greedy brat. Get a job and buy your own gifts especially since the one’s you gave him were only so you’d get one in return? Ummm and obviously the ring wasn’t good enough cuz maybe that ring is why never had the money to buy you gifts.
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I wasn’t exactly thrilled about mine… it just didn’t seem real? But he’s just not that type of guy lol. We’ve been married since 2015 and now it honestly doesn’t even bother me. Like it’s really not a big deal
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Sounds like you 2 don’t have the same love language. You show love and adoration by gift giving and need it back. And he prefers time together. So he shows you affection in that way instead of how you personally feel the most love and gratitude. Have you ever heard of the 5 love languages? You should look into it. It’s good food for thought.
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It’s been 5 years, that’s all it will be. When you have had enough you will leave.
When you’re married and what’s his is yours, buy your self presents with his money 
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If he doesn’t meet ur needs emotionally now it’s not going to change.
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It sounds to me like you just want to be made feel special. I always tell my husband I would rather have a love letter written from him than a gift. Maybe just sit down with them and visit about it. Had he taking you to a really nice spot and had a nice picnic with that have made you feel special? I agree with the gal who said gifts are and everything I think as long as people show their love in real ways that should be enough. And what I mean by that is doing special things for each other. And if you were this unhappy do not get married
Please give him the flick
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Before he belittles you any more …and makes you feel worthless
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Find a real man…generous caring and loving xo
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Oof. Well, if you marry him it certainly won’t improve things, I can assure you. You deserve more.
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Wow. Sometimes I wish my husband wouldn’t buy me gifts. Sometimes all I want is a picnic or a walk things like that with just us 2. But she spoils me and I’m very grateful for it but Sometimes I just want simple things. I don’t always buy him gifts and he’s fine with that. I actually planned vday for the 1st time this year in 12 years. He wasn’t thrilled I did it cause it’s something he does for me. But he was grateful and we had a nice time.
I’ve been with my husband for almost 20 yrs and he doesn’t do a whole lot of gifting but has done a few things over the yrs bc we share the checking account. Lol he is just really weird about using the card and then says I’m gonna know what he spent anyway. But he shows me in other ways how much he loves me and cares for me. He also always tell me if I have a little extra to get me something or will suggest we get a bite to eat or even sometimes coffee. ( coffee is my weakness and he asked me out for coffee on our first date) I’m not a very materialistic person and he knows I much rather just have time spent with him. No matter the situation I always try to get him extra stuff just bc I want to for special days I guess it’s definitely not bc I want him to get me something in return. Heaven forbid he makes sure we all have a roof over our heads and all our necessary stuff. If I were to say I wanted something he wouldn’t say one word to me. I guess it is how you look at things.
I’m sorry that some people on here are being rude to you. I do think it’s a difference in love languages. I don’t think you’re in the wrong for feeling the way that you do. I think you want to feel special and loved and thought about more than maybe a default Valentine’s day proposal with a ring he didn’t seem to put much effort into. Id like to think he loves you enough to propose but you telling him how you need to be loved and him not making you feel heard and in turn leading to an argument rather than a discussion and change ain’t it. Like fuck pick me up a snack from the gas station because you thought of me, spend ten dollars to get me Walmart flowers just because. It’s not a lot to ask and it’s not a lot to comprehend.
I mean mine said take this ring before I chuck it across the parking lot 
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Sounds like you’re pushing your love language down his throat.
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Sounds like a spoiled brat to me
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Trust me I know where your coming from,20yrs of marriage and I got gifts for our home every occasion.Guess what? When we divorced,he kept every gift he bought me for 20yrs.
Don’t get married!!! Life is too short not to be completely happy.5 years is not long.Thats all you’ve lost is time.Theres plenty of time left!
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Try the Love Dare and the 5 love languages
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You’re not happy. Why stay with him?
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I would say no he doesn’t sound like he cares about you .I would get read of him
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Get out while you can marrage only gets worse. Buy him a GOOD BY gift
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You sound immature and spoilt, if you base your relationships on material items then you’re a sad sad person, I feel sorry for him not you
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Best give that propasal a second thought. If its no good now. It will only get worse.
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My man and I don’t really do gifts, but we always do things for each other, but then again, gifts are neither one of our love languages, honestly, it used to be one of mine, then I realized that life isn’t about material things, it’s about experiences. That’s why when our son’s birthday comes around we ask for donations (for trips), gift cards to places he likes or memberships (like the zoo). Material things come and go, but memories last a life time. If you’re not happy, end things and move on with your life.
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That 1 post from you is loud and clear. You need to need to walk away and find someone who loves and appreciates you. If you allow him to treat you like that now, it won’t ever change. You deserve to be loved.
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So he finally does something and u act this way
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Are you two happy otherwise? Like outside of the gifting issue. Do yinz have good communication and a good relationship? Maybe he had been saving the money for the ring and that could be why he hasn’t been gifting. Maybe also saving money to pay for the wedding. Does he take you places and do things for you that way? Maybe the two of you just have different love languages, simply expressing that small gifts are something that mean something to you. Sometimes just a little communication can go a long way. But personally if yinz are otherwise happy and in a good relationship, material things shouldn’t matter so much. It’s the building a life together that matters. But if you’re questioning things, maybe you should be honest with him. He clearly really cares about you if he wants to spend his life with you.
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There is a book about our different ways we feel loved. I hope you can find it.
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I think he was saying he understands that you enjoy experiences over having things …
He’s doing the best he can, right?
Be thrilled that he proposed … after having been stung by his ex.
Just love him - it’s obvious he loves you! <3
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Leave him, it will play on your heart forever and make you chronically fatigued. Warn him for to give him a chance but follow your heart. There’s someone out there waiting to shower you with the love you crave. It’s more than material btw, it’s spiritual in that your spirit needs uplifting and gifts is such a easy way to show love. He either level up or find someone else who doesn’t mind his mediocre love, sorry but not sorry 
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Some of the people being sour probably get gifts for all the special occasions and randomly for that matter so they don’t know what it feels like to be left out of all those things! Some people act ok in the beginning but after time it’s sort of depressing especially after years of disappointment. I understand how you feel and it’s a hard situation because you can’t bring it up without 1. Looking like a POS because of how you feel and 2. They refuse to understand themselves.
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Maybe his ex wasn’t a whining brat or maybe he really loves her or maybe he doesn’t have those feelings the way he did for his ex
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You dont deserve a ring that belonged to another woman. Period.
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Ew
Throw it all out
Life is too short and there’s too many humans in this world to pick from
Go out there and find what you deserve girl
Just say no to the proposal.
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Sounds like he’s showing you his love language and vice versa. You should read the 5 love languages and learn how to reciprocate your love for each other. Everyone has a different love language, yours is obviously gifting and it sounds like his is time spent (quality time). If you love him and want to be with him then those material things shouldn’t matter and if it’s that big of a deal to you, then you should try and get him to understand that through the book. 
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Some guys are just plain frugal or just plain cheap with their money and do not know how to shop for their special someones even if we leave lists everywhere around the house with sizes and styles. It still doesn’t knock them in the head to know where your wish lists are whether on the shopping sites on-line, or whatever. Maybe suggest cash in a card though that probably wouldn’t amount to much either, put the money in your own little stash for emergencies. This has turned out to be my best solution so far. Been married for 15 years. Still working on him. Would love a cruise or vacation. or a ring that I’ve wanted for 50 years.
Well I hope to god you didn’t say “Yes”!!
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Give it back. It doesn’t get better with marriage, it gets worse.
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Regardless of if it’s baby blues or whiny brat, it doesn’t sound like it’s somewhere you want to be, get out before wasting any more time for either of you.
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Love language isn’t the same for you both, either get over it or get over him.
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probably should leave the dude I’d it offends you that much 
