It sounds like he has a very flippant attitude
about his feelings for you. Sweetie, what’s happening is a big red flag that you need to acknowledge right now. It does not sound like either of you feel
true love for each other. There is no excuse for his
flippant attitude.
Rethink marrying
him. Face your truth.
6 Likes
Book called “five love languages”
1 Like
He’s not likely to change. If this is a big issue (no judgement ), don’t get married. You each want different things.
2 Likes
I don’t see gifts as a sign of love. Actions speaks louder than words. Especially love. Rather have a man who will stick with you through all times, good and tough and listen to you cry and hug you in the end, than any gift in the world. My man, 6 years, doesn’t gift me, not even a ring. I know he has a ring, but I can careless because I know I have his heart and he has mine. That feeling is worth more than a million gifts.
4 Likes
Don’t settle. You aren’t happy with this and it will not get better after marriage. Time to move on.
7 Likes
Follow ur Intuition,it never lies.
1 Like
Love language is a thing. Y’all don’t seem to mesh well. He might have bought his ex things bc she expected them. Don’t settle if your unhappy
3 Likes
Just leave because he’s not going to change.
3 Likes
Try couples counseling. Sounds like you two don’t communicate very well, and this could help. Once you each figure out what’s in each other’s heads and hearts with a counselor, your decision to stay or go will become clearer. Good luck with whatever you decide. I love presents and celebrating and surprises and fuss too. My ex & I tried for 20 years but we were just too different. I understand him better now that I’ve learned more about how introverts are.
4 Likes
Oh, and also see your OB for post partum depression screening.
2 Likes
Valentines day is about SHOWING someone you love them. Not a gift. However that being said, if you felt nothing, then please don’t accept the ring until you do.
2 Likes
Leave. Don’t get married being unhappy as you are right now. Not feeling anything when he proposed is a sign that you both need to just go separate ways.
3 Likes
If its worn it could be either the kids mum’s ring or maybe he couldn’t afford a new one so he got it out a pawn shop who knows
But your feelings are valid and you should talk to him
1 Like
Hope you didn’t say yes then
Before people are quick to judge, do you know what his love language is? It seems to me he is showing you his love language like you are showing yours by giving him gifts. Maybe y’all should sit down and figure out what’s each other’s love languages and start expressing your love for each other in those ways. Good luck!
7 Likes
Sounds like you expect a lott and whine when you don’t get enough.
3 Likes
I’m sorry. I wouldn’t marry someone like that.
3 Likes
u feel pathetic cause u are pathetic. ur materialistic. change my mind
gifts dont matter. my husband and i been together for 8 years in September and i can count on one hand how many times ive gotten something. WHO CARES
as long as he shows u he loves u is all that matters
my husband proposed to me in his dads truck going down a road to a lake he was so excited to show me and didn have a ring and it came out as ‘marry me’ shocked the shit outta me. and yes i did say yes
even with no ring
and then thaT valentines day he made it ‘official’ with a ring and nothing was traditional about it.
and he probably meant by ‘u like to do outdoors stuff’ or w.e he said was that u actually like being around him and dont just want gifts. but hes obviously wrong.
and ik ima get alotta hate but idc. im so sick of bitches being so ungrateful cause there guy dont get them what they want. break up with him if ur really that petty and jealous over his ex getting things and get with someone who only cares about materialistic shit
you sound like a spoilt little cunt 
Don’t marry him you’re not happy
3 Likes
If you’re unhappy now. You’ll forever be unhappy. Either stay and fix it (counseling, talking, etc) or leave. But definitely don’t stay being unhappy love
10 Likes
Wait do you have a guy who is there for you, does things “outside” with you, gave you a ring (maybe he couldn’t afford a huge amount and wanted quality so brought 2nd hand) but he still tried. Why not try being happy with what you have instead of thinking what you want? Especially if he looks after your kids too!
5 Likes
Obviously don’t trust him and don’t believe he’s that interested in you so more fool you for still being with him.
Please stop comparing your relationship to what you see others post on social media. I’m with my guy going on 8 years. I can count on 1 hand how many material items he’s given me over the years. He shows his love in more subtle ways. But I don’t doubt his love for me.
3 Likes
Okay so I can relate to this a bit. It seems like your love language is gift giving. I’m the same. I put so much thought and effort into giving gifts, even when something is inexpensive. You tend to show love how you want to receive it. I also don’t want expensive things, just that someone thinks about you and knows you well enough to pick you out something they know you’d love. My fiance shows his love through acts of service, which isn’t always obvious things. Communicating about these things is really important. Men tend to have to have things put blatantly. If you are unhappy, tell him. Explain why. But beyond all that, do you want to marry this man? At the end of the day, that’s the bottom line of all this. Regardless of how and why he proposed, he did. And you owe it to both of you to tell him the truth if you really don’t want to. I honestly get the vibe that you’re unhappy and don’t want to. Which is fine as long as you tell him the truth. Both of you deserve partners who are on the same page. And if he proposed for the wrong reasons, that won’t help you guys either. You definitely need to have a serious conversation.
I think you should focus more on how he treats you, but if you are really so concerned about gifts then maybe try looking for someone who shares the same interest
Why would you say yes if your this miserable… Makes no sense to me … Why did you even stay this long if you were not happy… Its about happiness…
2 Likes
I don’t think this is about gifts its about feeling special. Very small things make you feel loved and appreciated and your obviously nit getting that feeling
5 Likes
Feel like I just read my relationship minus the ring 
stay strong love. This too shall pass, it might pass like a kidney stone but it will pass 
sending love and posivity
2 Likes
Why are you still with him. Why did you take ghe ring. Not too difficult to say" not now, I’m not ready to commit to marriage just yet. Big step if not ready, thare are things in our relationship that if arent changed, I won’t be marrying you" and the ball is in his court to sh** or get off the pot. If he wont work with you to buikd a happy relationship, then leave. Simple.
2 Likes
Trust your gut, you should be excited and happy when your boyfriend proposes. Clearly you are not happy. It is time for you decide whether or not you want to continue a relationship with him. It will not get better in the future, some things are part of peoples character
3 Likes
Y’all do realize she said she doesn’t expect huge expensive stuff from him. To me it sounds like she would be okay with something hand made from him just so feel like she’s worthy
Oh I know how you feel. I was the big gift buyer and my hubby not so much! Now I only put in as much effort as he does! Stop getting him stuff.
He probably won’t change
Take the ring to a jewelry store and ask if it looks worn to them or used. Then you don’t have to wonder for the rest of your life. He could have always traded the ring into the store to get you a new ring. Most jewelry stores take trade ins.
If your not grateful for what you have then what makes you think you’ll be happy with more?? Social media has an awful way of making you feel like sh1t and please believe no one posts their struggles on social media they post what makes them look and feel good and what they want others to see… I used to get little gifts on a Saturday then our children came along now I’m happy with getting in the car and going for a drive going on walks and generally just being together those mean more to me than any gift … you need to look at what he’s doing for you rather than what he’s not doing and if your still not happy then leave.
I think you guys should sit down and have a serious conversation, these things are obviously bothering you and it’s not fair that you hide that! Talk then go from there, to me it doesn’t seem like this is a relationship that you are happy with. I wish you luck and lots of love
I don’t take my own advice. But I wanna say two things I’ve learned recently on tik tok, but it really opened MY eyes in a way as I sit in a bad marriage/ relationship myself. 1. If he wanted to he WOULD… and 2. If you feel you deserve MORE, you do. I’ve been kinda repeating these things to myself and so when he treats me cruddy I keep a tally in my mind and waiting to leave until I feel like I’ve tried everything I could. Though I feel I deserve more, I still give chance after chance. But maybe the advice will help someone else. 
1 Like
I would just start asking for what you want. Pick you own gift out and tell him that’s what you want and could “use”
I’m not a big asker and I really don’t like getting gifts that I don’t like… kinda picky. But it works when I just pick what I want or need and let him know. Turn on the feminine charm my friend. Best of luck
Rigs are expensive so be happy you get one docent really matter ware he got it But everthing else I understand he should be trying to do things for you my ex husband did not really care he made enoghf money but every year for 10 years he gave me nothing every holiday every B_day so ask yourself why are you with him?
If you want more then you need to show him what you want … buy yourself something really nice and tell him you bought it to make yourself feel good ! Because you haven’t been feeling appreciated lately , Although you may not be materialistic You obviously want little gestures to lift your spirits … this is not abnormal Ask him to actually listen to what you’re telling him ! Don’t keep being overlooked , tell him it’s not the size or cost of the gift that’s important it’s the fact you’re loved and appreciated and it’s the little things that go a long way when showing it … good luck !
The most beautiful rings I’ve been bought were all second-hand. New ones cost about five times as much and I hated my original engagement ring. My proposal was very unromantic but we ended up having a “proper” one so we could tell people about it I suspect he doesn’t buy you expensive gifts because he doesn’t feel he needs to buy your love like he did with his ex. My ex was all chocolates and flowers and gifts…and DV…and abuse. My husband isn’t great at it but I know how much he loves me. Did he need to get you anything else when he proposed on Valentine’s? I’d much rather have a decent man who’s totally faithful than one who buys cheap tat who I can’t totally trust.
5 Likes
Communicate this to your man! Explain your needs to feel loved. Explain your love language and ask him his. Decide if you are willing to sacrifice your needs for what he gives you. If you’re not happy leave! Life is to short to be miserable!
Don’t marry this dude. You’re going to be unhappy from the sounds of it.
5 Likes
End it. Relationships should be your peace. Also his explanation that you’re outdoorsy means that he is aware he’s doing it. Sounds like you’re getting the brunt of his emotional damage from the previous relationship. Just give him the ring back and move on
2 Likes
If you weren’t happy when he proposed you clearly aren’t happy with him in General this should have been a magical moment and overcome with emotions. Think you need a serious think if you want to stay with him. Doubt he will ever change
2 Likes
ITS IS SAD but a lot of guys dont now how to express themselves HE wont change , you just learn to accept him for who he is … i never got cards found one after he died , but he didnt give it to me GOOD lUCK …
1 Like
I was married for 55 years and my husband never bought me a thing but it never worried me because I knew he loved me
3 Likes
Men are not DIY projects. He is who he is. If you don’t like who he is, then go. Stop trying to remake him in to what you want him to be.
6 Likes
They way they treat you when dating is a clear indicator of your marriage life if you are not happy now wait until there is kids life changes etc income is a excuse Pinterest is free and tons of ideas if he wants them
2 Likes
I was proposed to in a hotel room after our weekend getaway was ruined by sickness and shitty weather. It wasn’t how I imagined at all, but the fact that he loved me enough to do it anyway… I was floating out of that Hilton.
If your love language is gifting, just explain that to him… Mine is words of affirmation, fiance’s is physical touch. We both had to communicate properly to figure out how to show up properly for one another. If you can’t do that, he ain’t the one.
Yet you accepted the ring and assuming his proposal as well. Honey, It’s time to wake up and take control of your life before you get in deeper.
5 Likes
Oh Lou 🥲& yes Rob did love you
I’d say that if you aren’t completely happy with him, as in you need more than just the minimal done, then marrying him isn’t for you. There’s nothing wrong with that. You may have Love for him, yes, but you’re not “in love” with him possibly?.. People have different Love Languages. His Love Language with you isn’t him buying gifts or giving you cards. Like you said, he said he doesn’t feel the need to do that because you love the outdoors, so that makes me think he feels comfortable enough with you that he doesn’t feel the need to be extravagant or overboard to “impress” you, a simple outdoor activity together is what his love language is. If you feel that you Need more, I’d talk with him about it first. Explain to him that it’s not so much materialistic that you seek but more effort and just knowing he cared to write a cute little note in a card for you. Simple is okay. If he doesn’t understand that or that just isn’t what he cares to do, then I’d say yall need to go separate ways. Two people can care for one another and have love for one another but if yalls Love Language isn’t the same then one is always going to feel somewhat empty or lacking in the relationship. Talk first and explain your feelings. Either way you deserve to feel complete with whomever you’re with. 
Dudeeee, my ex was the exact same way, no effort. Don’t marry him. If he can’t show you the effort and make you feel appreciated, then there’s no point.
3 Likes
I didnt get proposed to but in the same boat as you. Its a terrible feeling & I’m sorry you have to through it also💔
1 Like
Run he won’t change you sure aren’t happy !
Why are you still with him??
You get what you accept
3 Likes
It sounds like money may of been tight and he was trying to save for the ring to me… I’m sorry you feel some way but I would take some time and really think about if a card and some chocolate are worth it. Valentine’s Day is a marketing holiday. He wasn’t thinking about getting you worthless stuff because he was thinking about spending the rest of his life with you. Men don’t think or act like women do.
If your not happy and have expressed your feelings to him with no change then maybe you need to consider a change yourself. Maybe he doesn’t see you as a materialistic girl but we al like a little surprise and attention once in a while. I’m sorry you feel this way. I wouldn’t accept a ring if you aren’t even content in the dating category.
2 Likes
You tolerate this. Why?
IDK, sounds to me like he actually appreciates spending time with you and doing things together. I do get the whole thing about gifts and stuff. I’ve had quite a few boyfriends that went that route, and at the end of the day, that’s all I had, was a bunch of useless trinkets that had no meaning. I’m 54 now and that could be the reason why I appreciate different things at this stage in my life. Anyone can post anything, doesn’t mean shit. Those are just moments, like life, just moments. We don’t get to see the whole picture. I had a bf once that it turned out that all those gifts were given not because he was thinking of me, but because the dirty rat was out cheating…just saying.
I got proposed to in a tractor supply parking lot. Guys don’t show emotion all that well unfortunately. I’m 4 years into our relationship, married for almost 3. My husband decided to turn our proposal into a tradition… we found out the gender of our 2nd in the rural king parking lot, and the gender of our 3rd in an agway parking lot. Now it’s a tradition that anything big we do in parking lots lol.
7 Likes
You are so materialistic! You will never be happy because of that. You say your used to it and it’s not a big deal, yet you say you have arguments and that you just want something. But you are on here complaining about presents and things… Isn’t he, himself enough for you?
4 Likes
Stop. First … love YOURSELF. if you want gifts… buy them. Wrap them up. Leave them on the table. Unwrap it when he’s with you. Show him YOUR happiness. Then… buy the book ( OR check it out from the library, OR Goodwill, etc) …The 5 Love Languages. Read it together.
3 Likes
First and foremost you both should do counseling before walking down the aisle. It sounds like you have different love languages. He may feel that by going on adventures, spending time together negates the need to buy presents. Counseling will allow a safe space to express yourself and have a neutral party mediate, ensuring fir a productive conversation.
If you are not excited over him asking, spare yourself and him the heartache. Do not get married until you are both comfortable and happy. Marriage will NOT fix anything, only complicate matters.
Something I was once asked… are you happy with yourself, your life? If not, no one will ever be able to make you happy. Happiness starts from within and your partner should compliment that not fulfill it.
Best of luck 
4 Likes
Does he work hard and provide a good home? Sometimes you need to look past the shiny things and see the realness.
2 Likes
What you allow is what will continue. He isn’t speaking your love language. Be implicit and direct. Only you know what is best. It’s he trying and just obtuse? Does his behavior show progress? Change isn’t a light switch but most ppl aren’t looking to live in light. Hugs.
1 Like
If your not happy, don’t marry him. Look up love languages.
2 Likes
You teach people how to treat you. He knows you expect nothing so you get nothing. If there’s one thing I’ve learned it’s people don’t change. You’ll have to decide if you want to put up with this your entire life of not.
5 Likes
Read about love languages and discuss it before you move forward.
All the people thinking its materialistic could learn a little something too.
3 Likes
Honestly sounds ungrateful
some men get ruined after they spoil one girl and they don’t work out that they just don’t bother
What else is wrong?
1 Like
Your not happy, so leave.
2 Likes
I have been there. You aren’t upset about the lack of gift, you’re upset because of the lack of effort or thought and its not being reciprocated. I have the curse that they treat the one before me and after me better than I ever was. After feeling like I’m not enough for so many years and through multiple relationships I had to come to terms with I got what I set the standard for. If someone isn’t meeting my expectations, and im not meeting theirs then there is no relationship left. Relationships, whether it be friendship, family or spouse go through highs and lows… but if you are feeling more lows than highs, and you have expressed your needs- regardless of what they may be and they aren’t being met it will lead to resentments and there can be no good outcome with that.
Sending love. I know all too well the “I bought my ex an expensive dinner and gifts- but no I won’t do anything with you” and watching everyone else get the love you so badly wish you had.
If he isn’t enough for you, and you’ve considered the counseling route… then there isn’t much more you can do but leave before it turns toxic and resentful.
5 Likes
I don’t mean this in an unkind way but you don’t to me , sound like you are really in love with this man The right man will make your heart soar with love every time you see him . Don’t ever settle 
2 Likes
LOL! " I don’t even want anyone to know about last night!"- so you post a long accounting of it!
4 Likes
My ex husband proposed to me right as I got out of the shower. With our newborn son and he ended up eating it. No special planning or anything. Had to fish my own ring out of My son’s poop. I feel.ya girls.
I got asked on out bedroom on bended knee when 4 months pregnant with a ring he chose nor very expensive but all him, we are 9 years together and 2kids whereas I’ve seen those with perfect proposals.barely last another 1yr or until.they marry and divorce very quickly, monetary items go and aint important its the person , but if its important to you you should discuss your love languages
3 Likes
You aren’t happy ,leave the relationship !
2 Likes
Teach him your love language or let someone else love you right and make you happy - but be willing to do the same!
3 Likes
I stopped after exicted.
3 Likes
Just wondering if it’s really gifts you are after or is it kind gestures? For example, would he cook you a meal? Make you a drink? Go grocery shopping and buy your favourite items? Drive you to a favourite place because he wants to treat you?
5 Likes
Both of you need to read The Five Love Languages . Trust me, it’s VERY insightful
2 Likes
Our rings came from the pawn shop, it’s the meaning behind them for us, not the ring itself
2 Likes
Sounds like your mood is flat…go have a chat to your Doc…you may be a tad depressed
…
2 Likes
Getting engaged isn’t supposed to be about gifts, its supposed to be about the official start to your life together. You are saying this is how he had always been, but clearly you are upset he hasnt magically changed: that isn’t gonna happen. You are keeping score about the ex which is a big ol’ red flag: they aren’t together for a reason, which you need to either accept or leave because he can’t change the past. Make it clear what you want, no hints, and if he cannot do those things accept this isn’t going to work.
6 Likes
If your not happy why would you say yes!? 
2 Likes
You are letting him treat you like this. Take some time away for yourself. To see if it’s what you really want to deal with for the rest of your life
3 Likes
He doesn’t buy you anything for any occasion? That’s terrible. I’d sit him down and explain that I can’t marry him because it’s not about the gift but it’s about the gesture behind it. If he can’t even get you a card for your birthday that’s just flat out disrespectful.
5 Likes
Then if you don’t want anyone to know, don’t put it on FB, put him out the door.
Sounds tight fisted and a sorry excuse of a boyfriend
1 Like
I wouldn’t “go along” with a proposal if I wasn’t happy. It shouldn’t matter how much the ring costs or what it looks like, it’s what it represents. Sounds like you guys aren’t a good match.
2 Likes
He won’t change, so either you do ( shouldn’t have to), or leave. This will only fester and you’ll become increasingly more bitter and it will still end but you will have wasted years of your life
4 Likes
Get out now sweetheart! If this is how you feel now then it’s not going to get any better with time. And in all honest, you deserve a man who will treat you like a fucken Queen! We all do! Don’t settle for less!
Maybe due to finances he had to buy it at the pawn shop. Did he say he only gave it to you because he didn’t have anything else? I first wanted to say baby blues or depression, but you’ve felt like this for years.
I’ve been married 19 years and quit “expecting” small gifts. The reality is… Men just don’t always do that. So understand now that life with some men will just not be that way, but in my experience the give and take we do have (when I look for it) is perfect for us!
1 Like
My brother treated his ex girl wayyyy better than his current he said its because she was way prettier not saying it’s your case just saying it was my brother’s men are dogs sometimes
You sound ungrateful