I watch my relatives kids and feel like I am being taken advantage of: Advice?

I need advice!! I currently watch relatives’ two children with another on the way! I love them dearly, but I’m starting to feel like I’m being taken advantage of. I work about 30 hours a week, sometimes more. I clean the house, feed them, ECT. I receive $400 a month, and when you break it down, it’s less than $4 an hour. I’ve had to turn down job offers because the schedule conflicts with watching the kids. I intend to get an evening job, but they aren’t always home by five, making things very difficult to do so. My question is, what would y’all do? Would you ask for more money or let them know you can no longer do it? Once the third baby gets here, the workload will double, and the pay is already not worth it. Help me, lol.


That’s slave wages…

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More money and guaranteed time for them to be home so you can get a job that you want as well

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My aunt would watch my two children when they were little. I would call the daycare and ask what the going rate would be according to my work schedule. I would pay her that amount. My aunt never had to clean my house, etc. So, definitely they need to pay you more.


j would request more money now and again when the baby arrives…when I help friends or family I charge $25 a day per kid at my home

If you can’t pay your bills with the amount they are paying you then you’re going to need to sit down and talk to them. If you can’t provide for yourself it’s not selfish to take action and do something about it. You need to care of yourself first before you can take care of anyone else. Daycare is very expensive and you’re helping them out immensely. I paid $500 a month for just 1 child. I used to let everyone take advantage of me. I learned that leads to resentment and bitterness. I had to learn to speak up for myself. It will be ok. Be strong.


That’s crazy take the next job you are offered once it’s a good fit for you… or ask for a proper wage 3 kids plus housework you would want at least 75-100 per day


That’s no good. My scedual was all over the place and I would use my daycare lady 4 days a week. 10 hr days I paid 240 a week. She charged me 6$ a hr.

You’re watching 2 kids, 30hours a week, for $400 a month??? That’s terrible. I have friends who were watching 2 kids and they were getting $600 a week! Your relatives are saving a fortune by having you watch the kids instead of sending them to daycare. PLUS you clean the house. I’m sure you love the kids, and you’re being a great family member watching them for a cheap rate, but you can’t survive off of that.
Talk to them first, let them know that you can’t afford working this many hours with such little pay, like you said, there’s another baby on the way, which comes with a lot more work. If they can’t afford to pay you more, let them know you’re sorry, but you’ll have to start looking for a different job. Good luck!


I would tell them that you need more money especially when the baby comes. And if not then you cant watch them anymore cause you have to find something that pays more.

I was watching my niece 4 days a week from 8am til 5pm and got $260 a month…they took advantage of me and complained about making it $300 a month so I stopped watching her…they both work and make good money so I figured they can afford a little more and they complained so bye


My babysitter charges $2.50 per hour. But we’re in Iowa!!


Sorry but that’s a joke. At the end of the day they aren’t your children or responsibility. The parents are the ones who should be working their lives and jobs around THEIR kids. Not you!
If they were to pay a “non relative” do you think that they would get away paying so little!?
Definitely up your price and if you want to get a job then get one! The parents will just have to deal with it. You have to put yourself first :relaxed:


Tell them you cant watch them anymore. You dont owe them.

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I mean it all depends on how u feel. My sister lives with me and helps with bills some…but I do have her daughter five nights a week while she works. My mother owns the home so there’s no rent. I want my sister to save as much money as she can so I wouldn’t expect her to pay. Although on the few occasions she went out socially she offered money.

tough one :frowning: im thinking what i would do hmmmmm :confused:

Tell them you got a different job and you can’t do it ahymore

Do what YOU need to do. Don’t live for other people

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I think you know your answer. You just need to stick up for yourself and say I’m sorry I need more money or just be done!

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Tell them you need more money or you will have to find a new job. And they will need to find a new sitter. For three kids they would be paying double that at a real daycare. Stand your ground. If they don’t want to lose you they will pay you more!!

I would stop and get a real job!

You need to give them your schedule. Let them know that your looking to get a job and if they offer you more money and it pays what you need then okay.

Know for those hours. I paid 154 per week. For one child. Maybe 6 hrs a day.

If you’re ok doing it for more money then bring that up for discussion. If you simply want out then let them know you’re not making ends meet and need to find a second job and give them a heads up to find new childcare . Ultimately it’s your choice

It’s your choice- you either ask for a living wage or you give them notice that you can’t keep watching the kids. Additionally you need to set some ground rules if you are going to continue watching. Set hours and ask for overtime when they don’t get home on time.

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I charge $20/day per child. Sounds like you’re being taken advantage of.


Make them take them to daycare bet they will pay what they are asking for.

If you can’t do it anymore you need to talk with them to see if you can change things or talk about them finding someone else to watch them. I had to do the same thing and they were mad at first but they got over it

I would sit them down and let them know you are going to find a new job, with that, you still help when and where you can but they need to find a new sitter. If the offer more great if they don’t tell them to consider it your notice!


Ask for a way higher wage or quit. Where I live daycare costs 30-45 per child per day. I would ask for at least 50 dollars a day


Leave! Get a better job! You don’t owe them anything!


Tell them that you are need more money and you are trying to find a job but unfortunately the work hours conflict with watching the kids so they need to find another babysitter give them two weeks to find someone else or daycare. They should understand your need for a living wage.

It’s so hard with relatives and I’m not sure how old you are… let me just say I pay almost 400 for two kids every week. I live in TX. I think you need to tell them you aren’t making ends meet and you either need more money or need to find another job. They should offer more and I know daycare can be expensive but maybe look around and see how much they cost for one kid for the age group. The kid’s cost more the younger especially not potty trained. Then ask for that… or look else where

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Tell them to pay you more or you’ll have to stop watching them. Call and check daycare rates and whatever they charge you can provide a discount because its family but if its saving them $ they should be willing to pay more or they’ll end up in a daycare. Their choice.

And I woud include whatever extra amount it will be when the baby arrives as well. Daycare in my area is $160 on average, per kid. So 2 kids is $320 per week.

Tell them u cant do it no more…


You are being taken advantage of, unless they are giving you room and board as well. But either way. You need to decide what you need paid, what hrs you work and what your duties are. And have that conversation. If they can’t pay a fair wage, perhaps they might qualify for day care assistance from a state agency and you may get paid better. If not, it’s probably time to move on. It’s nice you’re helping them out but you are responsible for your life, not raising their children.

When I babysit, I charge $20/day PER child. Just because they are family members doesn’t mean you don’t deserve a fair pay for watching their children.

That’s ridiculous. I pay £900 a month for 1 child in nursery. You should be asking for more

When I was 16 my sister paid me to live at her house and take care of my niece and nephew during the summer while school was out. She paid me $160 a week. I’d ask for more.

Tell them you’d like to make yourself available for jobs that can provide more for your family and you didn’t want to ask for more income from them.

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Sounds like it needs to be 400 A WEEK

You are definitely being taken advantage of

Im the director at a daycare and we charge anywhere from 175-225 a week per child depending on age


You need to be honest with them and tell them they have to pay you more or you’re applying for another job they will fit your needs better.
Things will never change otherwise.


I would do as others have stated and tell them that you have to make more money either with them or something else , tell them you love the kids and all but you also have Bill’s ect.

Tell her, if you don’t believe me, show her this post’s

You should be getting paid WAY more. It should be more like 400 a week easily. Most babysitters or nannys charge like 10$hr PER kid. You said they are relatives, which I understand wanting to help and be there for, but the aren’t doing what’s best for YOU at the end of the day and unless they are paying your bills for you on top of that 400$ a month, you need to speak up. They know what they SHOULD be paying believe me. I’m sure they looked into daycare before you started doing that. You are getting taken advtange of hardcore.

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Ask them for more pay and if they won’t then let them know you’ll be looking for a job

Ask for more, because you are being taken advantage of. I was a personal nanny for over a decade, and in 2008 the lowest price I took was $250 a week for 2 children. It broke down to $50 a day, and they got the friend/family discount. Now 12 years later I would never go below $300 a week for two children. If they argue, tell them that they are welcome to compare your price with that of a daycare, and see which is more affordable for them.

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I pay 170 a week for ONE CHILD. 400 a month is ridiculous. You are being taken advantage of! Id say at least 25 a day per child is the lowest you should be getting. Put your foot down!

I would no longer do it, that’s a lot to ask for so little compensation, if your cooking cleaning and turning down real jobs, then you are giving them a lot of breaks and that deserves recognition, if you would rather stay with the kids, ask them to cover you, depending on the increase of pay when new baby arrives, if it’s not a fair amount you should make your expectations very clear so it doesn’t affect your relationship down the line, when its not a win win situation, it always goes sour.

tell them you’d like to make yourself available for other job opportunities to provide more for your family!! If they aren’t taking advantage of you, they won’t be upset or angry with you. just give them a heads up so they have time to find care for their children elsewhere. :slightly_smiling_face:

Find a full time job

That’s too little, I paid twice that amount per month for daycare for one kid. That doesn’t include all the house work you are doing in addition to the other kids. Are you living with them rent and utility etc free? That could make a difference. You have to make a living, talk to them first…tell them an amount you feel is fair and tell them that you’ve needed to turn down job offers. Good luck!

I’m in the same boat as well and when I asked for more money I was told I was greedy and one pulled their child from my care… I’ve been a babysitter/nanny for several years. It’s hard to try and make ends meet when you are unappreciated and undervalued. Best of luck dear! My prayers are with you.

You’re worth more. I pay our child care provider $12/hr and I don’t even ask her to clean the house. Tell them you need more money (maybe not $12 but definitely more than $4!) or you’re moving on.

do whats best for you

Either raise your price or tell them you can no longer do it.

Day care in a center by me is roughly 150/kid for 5 days a week. So even at just 2 kids you are way underpaid. Plus those people are doing house work. I think if it impedes you being able to work another job then you need to ask for more money or tell her you cant do it.

We paid a teenager 200 bucks a week to watch 1 self sufficient child one summer lol

It is actually $3 an hour and that is ludicris!

If I watch my grandchildren it’s because I choose to. If I have something todo I just tell them they work around my schedule. My granddaughter begs me to stay with me. I don’t have the heart to tell her know it’s my choice It’s your choice also. I never charge for my grandbabies.

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Kindly tell them more money or u have to get another job and can no longer babysit ,go with the truth!!

That’s too little of pay for that much of work.

I use to pay my family friend $50 a day per child (2x max but not every day). I provided food and nappies and they were in her care for 6 hrs a day (3-5 days a week and sometimes weekends). She didn’t teach them anything while they were with her and they weren’t taken anywhere usually. I’d say my situation was one where I was taken advantage of but can say yours in absolutely one where your family are taking you for granted, SHAME on them! They wouldn’t be able to do what they do without you and going through a child care facility would be so expensive for them they would be working to pay that bill each week and not much else so DEMAND YOUR WORTH!

I did that for my step son years ago and they were taking advantage of me, do I gave them a certain time to pick up the kids after that time was up I charged them a dollar an hour per kid, needless to say after a couple of weeks they were there on time

Let them know you are looking for a job, and when you get one you can only look after the kids on certain days

It still baffles me when relatives charge for taking care of their family. I though family is about care and love. It is not done in the part of world I come from

If u got Bill’s to pay,u need enough to pay them Bill’s to live,family or not!!

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First and most important you need to decide what you want. If you want to get another job then you need to speak with your family members and tell them that you can no longer help them any more and give them a months notice so that they can find someone competent to watch their children. If you want to stay and watch the children and are only seeking other work because you are not being adequately compensated then you need to speak up and ask for more money . You set your own value. People will treat you the way you allow them to treat you.


Have a talk with them. You need to start working towards your own future and you cant so that if you are caring for their children so much. Just be sure to let them know you appreciate what they have done for you but you need work towards your own independence and a good career.


That’s crazy! I pay my mom $600 a month for one (3 days a week)! She doesn’t ask for it but I appreciate her and her time! Need to have a serious talk and if it goes nowhere move on.

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Simple. They pay you AT LEAST what you deserve, or they have to pay the TRUE COST of having the children in full-time daycare or a nanny. They will complain, but the truth of the matter is YOU’RE THE ONE losing money because they’re too cheap to pay you properly. They’re making out like bandits and scoffing at giving you a slight pay raise?! Screw that…stand up for yourself, you’re getting raped.


For me, once it starts really interfering with my own personal life (cant get job, etc) i would find the best and nicest way possible to say you can no longer do it. Plus 400 a month is nothing. They can’t get mad because you rather work. They could find someone else to do it, and be grateful that they were able to pay you so little for as long as you watched them, Instead of being mad you can no longer do it.
You love those kids and that will never change. But 400 a month is laughable compared to a full time job. And they know that.


Yup definitely sit down with them and talk and see if something more favorable to you can be worked out so you are both happy. They are so lucky to have had you this long. I am sure they will understand.


No way I’d be looking after three kids and cleaning as well for hundred bucks a week , why doesn’t the mother or father have paternity leave as in a new baby ? I would rather have the very basic of everything which I did and stay home with my baby rather than others look after them :frowning: a new born .

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I told my brother and his gf if they moved to where i was i would watch their daughter while they worked since im a sahm anyways but it would be about 100 a week and they provide their daughter’s stuff if i had to provide it then it would be closer to 175. But for me it would just be extra income/spending money not to live off of. And that it would only be for them both to work

Just went though this but with a friends 2 kids. Honestly i found a job. And i make more now then i did. I had 2 kids from 7am til 630pm. Now i work 4-7 and bring home more money ultimately its the parents who will be in a tough spot and you will feel guilty but you gotta do better for yourself. And yes i miss the kids so much…


Tbh you’re not obliged to be their childcare option because you’re family.

You need to negotiate with them. Either lower hours or more pay.

But if they refuse to come to the table then you need to do what’s best for you. And if that means taking another position and them having to hire a nanny and pay the extra for it, then that’s on them <3


You don’t love there with them do you?
But yes caring for children is more than $4, either speak up or just stop watching them kids.

My question is: Do you live in their home as well? It sounds like there’s missing information. I would just be honest, give a good amount of notice that you are looking for “gainful” employment and would love to continue to help them if they are willing to be home by a certain time and they paid you what your time and talents are worth.


I’d give them the choice. Just say- I’ve been struggling financially. I either need a pay raise, esp w the 3rd one on the way, or Ima have to take a job and won’t be able to watch the kids anymore. (They do know that if they put their 3 kids in daycare that it would be WAAAAYYYYY MORE that $400/month, right?! It would legit be more than 3x that!!) So ya- just either I need a raise so I can make ends meet OR Ima have to get a job and you’ll have to find someone else. Good luck!! Know your worth!! You’ve got this!! :heart:

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Definitely ask them to pay you more or stop doing it , you’re being taken advantage of , you might enjoy your time with the children but you’re being taken advantage of for sure x

Charge 2.50 an hour per lid and explain the situation. I babysit for my cousin’s who are twins s and was o Lynn getting 100 a week for 11 hours a day. Then I told her and Connecticut other that I would have to charge 250 a kid or 3/4 both an hour. And the hours cut in half and was still making more than the hundred a week. Hope this helps:)

Raise your rate. Daycare is an upwards of $800+ a month per kid. Even at $600-$700 a kid they are getting a deal. It’s that or take a job offer elsewhere and tell them you can’t do it anymore


Yes, be honest and lay it all out. This is childcare - it should be worth it to them otherwise I would think they are taking advantage. (not judging just making an observation. They may also be having a hard time financially, that is understandable) The going rate for a nanny where I live in the Midwest is about $15/hour for 2 kids full time. Just lay it out for them and be specific. Hopefully they will understand and work with you. (When I was nannying I also made deals for food and clothes trades, or if they have a service they can provide you. Worth asking about if it would be a hardship financially)

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I’m in Georgia. I pay my nanny (non-related) $18 an hour to watch my three children and I am getting a deal. Talk to your family, explain your situation, and move on with peace. You’re barely making enough to cover the expense of a commute.


Tell them the truth because you need to do what is best for you and they need to understand that isn’t enough pay period. That them are their kids not yours. That is why they make daycare or find a different babysitter that will go for 4 dollars a hr.

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$400 a month isn’t anywhere close to what full time child care is charging. They have been lucky this far to have you provide them amazing childcare for so little. They shouldn’t be shocked when you approach them. Explain the situation and that $400 just isn’t enough to live on anymore. Depending what you want, maybe offer them a rate to watch the kids that works for you, or say you need to get employment elsewhere and the schedule just doesn’t work for that.

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Check the going rates in your area for day care and base your request on that. You should get more. You are making life easy for them in more ways than just watching them. Cleaning, cooking. That’s extra and what a gift. You also need to think of yourself. Or you could always let them.know that you will have to take the other job offers when you get them. It’s fair

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I would be honest and say I love them and the kids but I need blank amount or I can’t watch them anymore. I need to have hours locked down so I can get another job. Period.


Doing math, that comes to 25 hrs a week. $4oo divided by $4 is 100. 4 weeks in a month means you are being paid less than a teenage sitter. Talk to them, but be ready to take that other job.

Oh no sisterly advice u know what I know u wanted to help them but sometimes we have to let them learn on there own and now there is another 1 on the way oh boy :boy: they don’t realize how hard it is to raise children because u r there the question how long u gonnna be there and if u have bills to pay :moneybag: u have to prioritize yourself first it’s not being selfish it’s not your obligation to be there while there children is growing up !

In the Midwest that $400.00 price point is per week and is still a steal. I personally would ask for $500.00 a week for 3 children and the Mom will probably decide to stay home and care for her own children as well as take in a few others to subsidize her lost pay.

The average hourly rate per child in Australia is $10 for in home care. I understand its family but you need to be making a living wage to support yourself. The reason you are looking after the children is so the parents can make a wage to support their family, the same applies to you, don’t sell yourself short, you need to look after your future as well, just as they are doing.

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Hmm at least you get paid when we baby sat for my family member we didn’t get a penny and couldn’t even take the baby any where .

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First you need to decide what you want and what is best for you. Talk to them and tell them what you’re doing is a full time job and tell them the amount you need. I used to pay my aunt 300 a week 20 years ago!!! to watch my two kids and semi clean. I was helping her get on feet and give her a place to stay but I also know two kids are a handful. You need to start working towards your independence.
Let them know you are grateful to them.

I watched my nephew for $675 a month and i quit when my youngest went to school because i followed her

This is definitely taking advantage of the situation…the pay is very, very, very less. For elementary school kids, the home day cares charge 1000$ just for 2-3hrs after school till 5/6pm per kid. And for my neighbor, who’s not running a daycare but just offered to watch my kids in her house for after-school, I paid $800. So, no other chores included. Just watching my kids as they played around her yard or did homework.

Please, please think about yourself and ask for way more!! And also, you can definitely put limits on the timings, don’t let them take advantage of you just because you all are relatives.

Dont turn down job offers for some elses kids. That’s letting them know you will be a doormat for them.
Find a job you want/like, tell your relatives flat out hey I got a regular job heres my days/hrs I work I can watch your kiddos around that schedule.

They aren’t paying you enough to make it worth it so stop doing it.

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Ask for more money and let them know how you feel. If you do not set the boundaries they will continue to take advantage of you. If you want to focus on your job you have every right to do so.