He just informed me that after years of working in the BMW plant in SC, my son and I live in NC, that he plans on quiting a $33/hr job to quiting to go to school at ECPI. BUT he said “I don’t know what you’re going to do about child support because I won’t be working”. I reminded him that it is the NC child support court system that he’s been paying to for over 11 years. If he doesn’t pay, he had to answer to them not me. Also that his mother does have money and she’ll be paying his home, car, phone, gas, and she’ll definitely provide him with extra cash… aka an allowance. He will be jailed for past owed child support if he really chooses that path.
What I am asking, is how will this look in court if and when he decides to quit his job for school and basically after physically leaving his son when he was three to now at 13, almost 14 to now financially abandoning him? I work too, but as his sole parent, I am limited. I just don’t understand his disregard for understanding what it actually takes to be a fulltime parent, fulltime employee, and balance everyday life, school, extracurricular activities, and added expenses with him choosing to be a holiday dad…
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. If ex quits his job for school. what happens with child support?
If you can’t raise a child without child support, you really shouldn’t have custody in the first place.
Usually the amount he would owe you will go to $0 until they start working again.
They can’t force him to pay for example- 10 apples when he has 0 apples.
I’m not sure what the grandparents finances have to do with this it’s not their job to fund the child. Personally I wouldn’t be bitter and would encourage him to go back to school rather then staying in a job he’s not happy in and as your separated it’s not your place to tell him to stay in the job and not return to education your say ended when the relationship ended. It’s upto him what he chooses to do with his future. Personally I wouldn’t be bothered I’d use it as a means to show my child that education is constant and sometimes you have to change your life path when you want to achieve new goals.
Im 32 and my dad is still paying back child support for me and my two siblings… We dont see it and we dont really care, my mom worked 3 jobs to take care of us…
Umm I can tell you that he will still be required to pay child support even if he doesn’t have a job. The dept of revenue does not stop collecting child support ever unless he gets a lawyer. It will turn into a debt. Why do you think people end up in jail for in paid child support. Obviously because if you are required to pay it and don’t then it starts to create a negative balance for the one who owes it. The state does not care if you are not working, in jail, rehab, school, etc.
He has the right to change jobs and also has the right to get his child support lowered to match his new pay rate. As long as he does it like he is suppose too then it looks like ypur child support will be lowered. I am not sure if I read your statement correctly about either you will not be working then or you will not be making enough if he quits his job. This happens a lot. Child support was not meant to fully support the child after separation or to support the mom. At least your child is getting towards the teenage years instead of being little. I am sure there can be some room made to either increase your pay or work hours.
He could still work. I worked two jobs while I went to school full time…and, I was raising a small child by myself. It wasn’t pleasant, but I was able to do it.
If there is a court order he is still responsible financially in most states it doesn’t matter if he continues working or not it will accrue in what is owed. He could then face loss of licenses and jail time
If the father don’t have a job the state is required to base it on minimum wage. So likely the support amount will go down but he will still have to pay. If he fails to it will just keep accumulating. He will also have to do a motion to modify with the courts to make any type of changes.
So in NH, if the person is unemployed, it is $50 a month. So he can easily go to court and state that he is unemployed. Also, at least up in NH, I dont know a single person who has been jailed for cs lol license taken away sure. But I know friends who have ex that owe 10k+ and their ex is still living free.
Honestly, my ex is so flimsy with cs I NEVER count it towards my income. If I get it, awesome. If not, I’m just fine. Never count on cs as an income.
Bc of covid even if they do arrest him for not paying which isn’t probably likely he won’t stay in jail long. Also he can go back to court and get it reduced since he’s not receiving income.
4 more years till you’re child’s 18. If said parent wants to quit his job and go back to school so, be it. I doubt it’s justifiable for punishment also unfortunately lots of said parents go with out paying proper child support owed by a court system… cut your loses and cut the cord.
Are u really worried about him or is ot the loss u will have with no support
Sounds a little like you have oftenly relied on the child support subsidy you get from the childs father…now your upset because hes decided leave a high paying job to go to school and you can no longer rely on his wallet when you need too?You also say because he failed to pay past child support payments if he continues to choose this path hes likely to go to prison… Yet here you are sinking him into that situation deeper? If you cant support each others descions for the childs sake you need cut each other off completely… Money is just a material having a good supportive relationship with the dad is far more important support his descion pickup on the child support stuff afterwards
In PA they have a thing where they will still make him pay under “earning potential” people do that all the time where they purposely take lower paying jobs and work under the table or stop workimg on the books all together. CS courts see right through it. Let them go after him. Just bc he decides to go to school doesnt mean he is off the hook for being financially responsible for his child. He may end up paying less but he may not. Either way he will still have to pay something.
If u need his money to support the child you 2 share at your home then send the child to his dads more often. Single full time working mom of 3 not a penny of support ever.
Child support is still owed. Regardless of his situation.
U guys being negative are seriously a bunch of naive assholes… this is his child …he doesnt get the right to decide he wants to not pay for the child he had… and this is coming from someone who gets nothing from my kids father… all u women defending are the same women defending ur man who doesnt take care of his kids… as women whoever is bashing her n telling her to encourage him ya’ll are some sad women n i pray none of u have sons… as for the women asking the question… go to your lawyer immediately and explain the situation immediately… your kid has to think about college soon. … n the child comes first
Here in Florida if you’re not working they still base your income off of minimum wage if you are physically able to work
They will take the support he owes in taxes so he will be paying up one way or another …seems like a lot of people in the comments are mad they never got child support or are okay with being screwed over by the other parent and seem to settle for the fact that they don’t have to face any consequences -lol wrongggg idgaf if he wants to go to school honestly good for him but he still needs to figure out a way to financially pay for his child as you did not make the child yourself! Being a single momma and busting your ass is hard,so of course the extra money from child support would be helpful and nice-sadly like others said he won’t go to jail because they don’t care but best believe they will be taking his taxes come tax time-I would report all of this to your local child support agency
Best of luck to you momma
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. If ex quits his job for school. what happens with child support?
He is still responsible for paying child support regardless if he quits his job to go to school. He’s the one that’s gonna get behind on Child support payments and May end up in jail.
He will be ordered to pay the minimum… Which is laughable like 20 a week here in ny… My ex has been unemployed for 2 years and we have 3 kids… It’s so aggravating especially when he works under the table a few days a week 
Payments are dependant on income . Take him back to court to sort this out.
He’s still responsible. He’s trying to get out of paying. Don’t let him.
Depends on state, but where I’m from, you report to the agency that he’s not making payments or they are alerted automatically if they take it from him themselves, and he will receive a letter after 30 days, saying he has 30 days or he will lose his license and may have to sell property, vehicle, recreational toys, etc to make payments or he will be given jail time
I hope they throw his ass in jail.
He’ll still have an earning potential and be responsible for paying something.
I’m in NC and the courts if he asks them to will recalculate it based on what he makes 
You may be able to apply for state health care since his child support will drop so much…
He is still responsible and still has to pay child support
Doesn’t seem like he should be allowed by courts to abandon his job to be supported financially by an outside source. A judge should order him to remain working and take classes around his work schedule. Sounds like he has found a way around his financial responsibility to his son.
Make sure you save any messages where he freely admits ahead of time that he’s going to go delinquent on payments. Courts love that, when a parent knows beforehand they’re about to turn into an even bigger 
.
In Texas I do believe it will be based on min wage but he will still have to pay.
He will not find a job making what he makes now. Going to school doesn’t always guarantee a better job or better pay. Why did he wait so long ? Don’t let him get by without paying his child support. Sounds like his Mommy has enabled him. I’m just speculating but it seems odd for him to leave a good job with all the uncertainty in the job market at this time. My ex owed $22,000 when the court finally made him pay $40 a week.my kids were grown. He didn’t keep a job on purpose. All situations are different but my 4 kids are grown and doing very well, no thanks to him. He is dead now. I remarried and he was there for my kids and treated them with love . He passed away in 2018 from Agent Orange which he got while serving in Vietnam. Sorry so long but please hold him accountable 
I wouldn’t even worry about it. Let him stop paying and the back support build up more… then they suspend his license and lock him up until a percentage is paid (as his bail) if he was more than a holiday dad I’d say work with him on it but 
abandon a child… any way nope jail for you
Court talk to the lawyer of the day or your own lawyer and get in there and let the judge know what’s happening and see if they can sort it out. He still has to pay something
They will adjust his payment to his income.
As a dad who paid for 19 years. He will have to pay somehow. Go to court work something out. But he has a responsibility to support period. He may file hardship but he will still pay or do time. And he will have to pay back support while in jail. Us dads have it hard but I agree with child support, it kept me in my son’s life. Lol
I’m sure itll be adjusted but he will still have to pay… shit if I have 6 kids and medical can take 900 a month garnishment his butt better do what many mamas do. Go to school full time and work full time… it’s what we do and we get it done
I understand that law’s are different from state to state here in Massachusetts if you are behind in child support first time they take your license. Second time is jail for 30 day’s … I don’t know what the law is down there in regards to this but I would strongly advise you to look into it
Some courts will impute him with the same income because that’s what he is able to make. To change child support he must file a motion. I will just sit back and let it play out because he is still responsible to pay his child support.
Get a hold of your lawyer immediately to get ahead of the ball
Not sure about NC, but in Fl, once your $1,000 in back child support they suspend your license. And my ex worked for BMW and they’re required to have an in hood standing DL. Also, you can’t attend school with warrants and failure to pay is contempt and a bench warrant will be issued. He may want to be a little more proactive about this? How would he have approached this situation as a “real” dad that has their kids in mind 100% of the time? I mean, my ex makes decisions as if his kids are with him full time. 
kudos for bettering himself n all, but you have kids dude. Shame on him.
They will adjust his new income. File for state insurance and look for a job. Screw him. You got this mama
It must be a weird kind of flex to live like you don’t have kids when you have them. Embarrassing, honestly. Smh
Okay so this man wants to go back to school to learn and get a further education. His child support will be re evaluated with his new income and will have to pay still but it will be based on a minimum.
All these salty women thinking he doesn’t want to pay. Pfft get a life
sounds like you’re overly money hungry. instead of being happy for his education you’re being a little overly bitter.
He will have to get a job and work while he goes to school. Most adults work full time and go to school part time. Courts won’t allow him to just not pay what he owes.
The court will adjust his support based on income but when he finishes school he will be tagged for support again.
I’d hate to have to coparent with you. He wants to further his education/career and you want to throw him in jail and call him a holiday dad for it? 
Shows just how much you rely on said child support.
Laws in the USA are what they are. If you had any real common sense, either of you, you would sit down and discuss the issue with each other. Turning your ex into a criminal isn’t going to help your son one bit, but your lawyers will thank you for the $$$. THAT’S the bottom line. No wonder western men are going MGTOW in droves…
I’m a single mom. I work full time and went to school full time -at the same time. I received my masters degree. I worked my butt off. There is ZERO reason he can’t do both at the same time too. There are plenty of schools that offer programs designed for working people.
My ex is over 20,000 behind in support, has no job, but they still expect him to pay around $250 monthly. My ex is about to lose his license bc he’s too stupid to pay his child support. He will have to pay something and if not it will just keep adding up until he loses his license or goes to jail.
I was a single mama, no financial support, went to school full time to obtain my RN license from 7am-3pm and worked full time from 430pm-1am… my daughter was in dance class and took horse back riding lessons…
If a woman can bust her ass to make ends meet, he either needs to figure it out or it’s not the right time for him. Let the law deal with him… he will learn real quick.
It depends on the state that you’re in. I know in VA, if one person is not reviewing income then the state will factor in what they have made previously or what they have a the ability to make and base it off that.
Your best bet is talking to a lawyer if you have questions though.
Thats really none of your business what he does with his life…I would let the courts worry about it…
All you people saying she is money hungry. The man has a responsibility to help support his child period. It doesn’t matter what his plans are. He already lives in a different state so I’m sure this woman is doing the majority if the child rearing. He needs to do his part.
I’m most states, they’ll do nothing. The debt will just add up . Eventually take away driving privileges.
Usually, they’d hit 6000 or whatever the line is for varying states…& Put a warrant out for the arrest, but won’t actually search for the dude. So yea, it’ll just add up. They’ll contact him as much as they can, ask for his info. Until he starts paying again. Also it ruins credit.
I can tell you from personal experience, sc won’t do anything to him for back child support in nc… my ex and I lived in SC he owed over 5000 dollars in child support… nothing ever happened…
Um honestly you sound incredibly greedy. He wants to further his career and all you care about is the money. So his income will be way less. Guess you live within your means for the time being. Let the courts handle it
You are more worried about what you’re going to do with no child support. You must be the kind of mom that depends on it. If he wants to better his life by going to school, that’s awesome, they will adjust his income. Quit being money hungry, it’s not about you, it’s for your son. Smfh
The ex still has to pay child support. If the ex doesn’t then they will lose their liscense and go to jail. It’ll add up and they will have to still pay it even after they graduate high school. In some states people have to continue paying child support if the child goes to college.
You shouldn’t rely on his payments. I do think more responsibility needs to be placed on dads though. Since he’s not working, I guess he has more time. Then maybe he can take extra time with his son or some other compromise.
Good on him for trying to further his education. He obviously pays his due for the child. Pull your hands out of the poor bastards pockets & move on. You just sound like a bitter gold digger.
It takes a CRAP TON of arrears to reach a bench warrant for child support
His mom’s finances and whatever allowance she gives him are irrelevant to you and your child
He is not legally required to look for or have a job
The amount he has to pay is based off his income so once he reports he’s not working it will be drastically adjusted
It’s better stand on your own two feet. Theres no better feeling than being able to support your child and not rely on no one. It will be a endless battle by the sounds of it, best to be just happy and enjoy life with your son. Let your ex feel what a great man he is by doing it yourself. Your son will love you more for it.
He wouldn’t be jailed. He could easily go to child support & explain his situation. Child support would be based off his income, so if he doesn’t have an income, he’d still have to pay something but not nearly as much. Parents are allowed to go to school & try to better themselves. He could go from making $33/hr to way more. I would be supportive… even if y’all were together, sometimes one has to take on more responsibility so the other can pursue their goals. Would you be questioning his motives if y’all were still in a relationship? Take a step back & view it from all perspectives. If he’s been paying it for 11 years, I don’t see him stepping back out of spite.
The court will require him to pay child support regardless of whether he is working or not so you are right he will have to answer to them
He will petition the court and likely be held at a minimum wage standard. The fact that he’s going to school will prevent anyone from claiming he’s “under-employed”
I divorced when my son was 2 never took one cent in child support because I was not going to spend my life chasing him for child support. Instead when he needed something like a Cub Scout uniform or a bike I asked him to pay. I realized early on I could not control him and knew he would get in arrears and we would end up
In court. I managed did with less but great full for what I had. It takes 2 to end a marriage let him
do what he will with his life. It is more important to have him in his sons life then to argue about support . Just let him know when school
Is gone he needs to catch up
Wow a lot of negative comments to a mom who’s a single mom and trying to do the best for her kid who not only has to worry about financially but also emotionally since the “dad” left his son when he was little. I guess a lot of moms here don’t know the struggle and you won’t know until it happens to you. Girl do what you have to do and don’t listen to the negativity!
Maybe you should let dad take over it sounds like your hand are full I’m sure he’ll be glad to care for him while you pay child support so he can go to school 
sounds logical and fair
He is trying to better himself. Which is a good example to his child. Speak and sort money out but don’t knock him for what he is doing.
Some of these comments. 
some of y’all are saying she is greedy and that he is trying to better his life, etc when the man hasn’t even been in his sons daily life since he was 3!! Last time I checked $33 an hour is decent money. I think he’s just trying to get out of paying. Yes, it’s better to be financially stable to where you don’t need child support, but some people aren’t able to do that. Just because he wants to go back to school doesn’t mean he all of a sudden doesn’t have to help support his son!?!? What if she wanted to go back to school? Could she just quit her job and expect him to pay her bills, etc? He is just as much responsible for taking care of their son as she is, and yes that means financially too! She should not have to do it all herself!!
His education has NOTHING to do with child support, I hope they teach him how to order comessary , he’s goin to jail😂
Clearly half of you misunderstand her post. How is she being greedy??? She even said that he abandoned him at age 3. Some of you clearly can’t read and must’ve only read the first sentence. Some of y’all are just taking the side of a deadbeat.
I get the feeling y’all didn’t read the post fully or something.
If he is a good father and can be trusted with his son now will be a good time to let the son stay with him for a lil while so he can see all the hard work needed for one child .
He admittedly said “idk what you’re gonna do about child support” because he doesn’t care to support his child or have a relationship with him. It takes 2. This comment thread needs to quit making excuses for a man cause if it was reversed yall would be saying she was a shitty mom for going to school and abandoning her son both physically and financially. If he has the leisure to quit a job and go to school while mommy pays his way, then a court will see right through that and tell him he should figure out how to make the money for his child and go to school like every other parent does. Hes not special.
If it has been more than 3 years, ask for a modification to be made and see what he gets locked in at while he’s still working. That way he can’t ask for a modification and it be lowered since you got to it first. Sorry he wants to go to school but your sons needs come first, that’s his minimal obligation to his son. Grown folk don’t just get to quit a job and have mommy pay their way.
Let the family court handle it, keep them posted on everything & you keep notes, dates, etc. As a record. Print out text messages, everything.
Is he going to school to get a better job? Bc then it would work out better for you since he would have to back pay and you could probably petition for more child support.
So for all people sighting that she is greedy or money hungry or depends on that child support, you must have never been a single parent trying to gain employment at a fair wage with an employer that also understands your first job is as a parent not an employee. Most employers ask probing questions about these things because us single parents are “less desirable” employment wise so im sure she has something that gets her by. Dad on the other hand doesn’t have to worry about missing school/work if the kiddo is sick. Doctors co-pays and all the hours lost of employment are not his issue either but they are hers. Most people don’t comprehend back pay either when it comes to child support. I’ve been raising my oldest on my own since birth until my husband came into the picture at almost 2. Her dad refuses to pay even after multiple jail visits suspended license and all. They actually gave up and closed his child support case but he stated flat out to me he will never give me a penny because he didn’t want me to use those funds on myself or my other children or household bills. What he fails to realize is I’ve paid for her her entire life but I’d be able to give her a better life if support was there.
All he has to do is get it adjusted. The won’t penalize him if he gets it adjusted. He will likely make more money after school. His success is your child’s success. Tell him your proud and will cooperate to get his child support adjusted. Just tighten up that budget.
Sounds like grandma needs to start making his payments for him. Get on money support and Medicaid and they will go after him
Technically he could petition the courts and have his child support dropped down to nearly nothing.
It’s not your job to worry about him. He is the one who abandoned your child. He is the one choosing to quit his job. Let the courts handle it. Continue raising your son and move on.
The child support is a nice help but don’t depend on it. Obviously you can’t depend on him to be a father. The court will do what they feel is needed to be done.
Unfortunately if he goes through proper channels he can get his child support reduced according to his lack of income. Lots of people go to school part time while working full time due to obligations. His mother needs to tell him he’s not 19.
Chances of him going to jail for owed child support is not likely. But he’ll end up peeing child support for the time he stops paying. So when he does finally get a job after school, and claims taxes, those will probably be swiped and sent to you. But that won’t be anytime soon.
He’s quitting his job and going to school without an income? Hmm… sounds fake
He sounds like a winner.
How is it woman can work full time. Raise a family and go to school… all at the same time… but a dad can’t? I’m so for bettering yourself but. Either do it like a woman does or wait a couple more years till you no longer have a child support payment… the dad sounds beyond selfish.
If one is not working, just how do you think they can & will get money out of him??? He has the right to go to school & when he is done, most likely he will be making more money, so then the courts will give your son more money, But your ex’s mother doesn’t have to support your son, that. is not up to her, no matter how much money she has. Oh & my ex, NEVER paid child support, & as a single mother to 2 kids ( since I was 20 yrs old) I did quite fine, Yes we didn’t have a lot of extras, but they were fed & had clothes on their back.& a roof over our heads. I also went to college (part time) & work to support us, And guess what, it can be done, Again I agree half & half with you, if your ex goes to school & is not working & his mother paying for his expenses, chances are, you will not be getting child support or VERY little during this time.
I’m confused as to why he’d be put in jail?
I went to ecpi here in va it’s accelerated depending on the program. And it’s impossible for some programs to work tho the nursing program
I worked and schooled but almost lost my mind. It’s a temporary discomfort but to make better money worth it.
Wow these comments. It’s only fair for him to at LEAST pay child support bc he probably doesn’t have anything to do with their son unless it benefits him. Unfortunately, he’d have to be hugely behind on child support before going to jail. But good news! No matter how far behind he is, even if he thinks he can do without a job until your son gets to a certain age, he will still have it held out of taxes and checks. It sucks bc us moms are expected to do everything while the dad can be a total deadbeat.
Wow all you want living off from child support and you don’t want the job your are the problem… I glad I don’t even have child support I working so hard for my kids not living off from free money
Jailed for past due is really hard. Ex wife owes like 7k. And they will hold him up to 40 hours a week at min wage…. Atleast in CO that is what they do.
Idk the law in NC but in Florida he would still be held accountable for the monthly support and would have consequences for not paying. Going to school would not be an excuse. The state won’t provide you with the money he owes. You would get money when ever he decided to pay. You may qualify for extra state aid as more stamps a month but if your working typically cash assistance isn’t offered. Here in Florida he would loose his license first and then he would end up having warrant written against him after owing a certain amount. He would have to make a payment for that amount to get out which you would receive.