If you split from your child's other parent, how often do you speak?

Those of you who have children from a previous relationship that you co-parent with, how often do you speak/text to them throughout the day? Or if your significant other has children from a previous relationship, how often do they speak to that other parent? Are the conversations strictly about the children, or is there some other friendly conversation? This question is for anyone, but especially those who would say they have a friendly relationship with the other parent.


I couldn’t say there isn’t a right or wrong answer to this. If I had to talk everyday to my kids dad I would. We talk about anything that strictly would affect our children.

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My sons father and I split over 3 years ago. We mostly argue. We arent friends. We discuss our son and that’s it.
My step sons mom and my fiance are civil with eachother fairly well. We actually coparent very well with her and her new husband. We actually all go out and do things together as one big family.


I talk to my bonus daughters mom every single day hahaha. About life, kids; etc. we definitely converse more than my husband and her. We have a great co parenting relationship. In the beginning my husband and her texted more frequently, usually about our kiddo. He would show me his phone if i was insecure about it.

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I don’t speak to my ex except when he calls… And that’s 2 times a year maybe

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My ex and I talk almost daily. We are friends… so much better for our boys. We talk about our kids but occasionally talk about other things like politics, people we both know, our family etc. I’m remarried and he frequently has to listen to me on the phone but doesn’t mind. We also jointly celebrate our kids milestones and sit with each other at all events. Our boys have expressed how lucky they are compared to some friends whose parents are divorced and can’t get along.


It goes in spurts. My teens are around their dad so when it gets hairy we work together. We remain civil and I think being friendly has some snooping qualities as long as your keeping tabs on the teens. You also know how the other functions then. Because our lives all change constantly. Sometimes I do cut them off due to toxic choices etc. No different than anyone else. It’s work. It takes a village to raise a child. You should know what that village looks like and how it functions.

As little as possible.


I keep it to only about my child.

Never my daughter is 9 she has her own phone to speak to her dad .

I haven’t talked to my children’s father in over a month now. He doesn’t call or check on the kids. Hell he hasn’t even shown up to get them🤷🏻‍♀️ didn’t even call our oldest on her birthday. We have a “shared parenting” plan also.

I only txt about pick up and drop off with our child


I talk to my ex usually only about our son my bf is a little more friendly with his ex

Only when it concerns the kids or schedules for the kids hes still an ex for a reason we’re not friends we are civil for the sake of the kids

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When we need to speak about the kids. They are teens so he calls them directly. We are civil and get along but there’s no need for me to talk to him daily.

My ex husband talk to his ex daily all day. 10 years he cheated on me with her. So now. Nope only talk about ur kids and kids only. You don’t need to talk about work, the weather or anything else. There not in a relationship. They cant respect the new relationship there in peace out

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I am on really good terms with my daughter’s dad. We talk daily. He gets along with my partner so they talk a fair bit as well. We work really hard to have a good relationship because it’s not our daughter’s fault we seperated - she is a 6 year old who had her life completely change. She shouldn’t have to suffer because we, as adults, could not work it out.
It’s pretty amazing the relationship that we have.


I talk to my kids dad a few times a week, mostly about the kids, but theres also friendly conversation. We’ve known each other since kindergarten, so we can get along. My bf speaks to his ex once a week, when he sends her the CS payment, to let her know he sent it, or if he wants to pick up his daughter and that’s it. It just depends on the two people really.

My daughters dad and I split 4 yrs ago. He has a whole other family now, but he takes our daughter whenever he can. I talk to him many times throughout the week depending on what’s going on. Usually 4/7 days we might message or I send pics of our daughter, it’s usually always about our child, but right now there is some other stuff going on that I talk to him about. When I was a step mom, I talked to my step sons mom more that his dad did. Almost everyday. We all got along well.

We only talk about our son and send pictures of our son to each other. That is it. I don’t have anything nice to say about my ex. I also make sure to never talk bad about my ex to my son.

My Husband has a daughter from a previous relationship (shes 11). Him and his ex only talk when its about the kiddo, such as, recently, how/what we were going to do for the upcoming school year. Or if there needs to be a change in the custody agreement for whatever reasons. They keep it civil for her. They absolutely loathe each other otherwise

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With one we have a very good relationship and talk when we need too. With the other 0

I used to talk to my daughters father likeevery other day, then it changed to 3-5 times a month but now less/not at all cause of his new little girlfriend. And our daughter goes over there every weekend. I talk to his parents about 12 times a month lol.
My sons father I didnt talk to at all for the first 6 months cause he was in jail. Baby’s 10 months now and this week is the most he’s messaged me since he was born.

We dont. At all. I’ll send the odd text when big things happen (report cards, school functions, loosing teeth, little firsts, good behavior, ect) He hardly sees her so even when she sees him he doesnt text me :joy::woman_shrugging:

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I think it depends on how old the children are.

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I don’t speak to my ex at all. I have full custody.
But that’s us.
Its really going to depend on the parents individually.
Some kind of friendship between the parents is ideal…Because that’s best for the kids.
If you can do that or have that then it’s great. In those cases talking frequently not just about the children helps build that friendship and in turn helps the other parent with the children.
But realistically that’s not always possible.
Some times there are things that can just not be overcome to allow friendship.
The next best thing is coparenting. Truly coparenting. It requires regular communication but is generally kept just about the children.

I talk with my ex on and off mostly on relation to the kids. He only shows up for them once every 6 weeks or so (his choice) but sometimes after a little while he’ll message asking how they’re doing and sometimes if there’s crazy news or something then we tell each other. Like if the kid got stitches then I called him or because we’ve known each other since we were kids, if something crazy happens to someone we know or something like that then we will message each other. We try to keep it friendly but he resents me for leaving and I resent him for being useless as a parent lol but we smile, nod and on occasion have conversations like old friends. But there is definitely zero connection between us. It ends with the friendly talks.

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Our kids are 11 & 12 and have their own phones so they can contact him or him them whenever they want. He text me twice a month to see if they are coming that weekend and then we work out pick up and drop off details if they are going (we don’t force them), we only text or call if it involves the kids. We were married 10yrs split almost 4yrs ago. My husband now doesn’t have kids except my two.

It took me over 2 years to coparent with my oldests father. We are on alot better terms now. We always ask eachother about our son when whoever has him. He is also friendly to me(he says he’ll never date till he has me back)

However my husband’s ex and his baby mama is an absolute ***** she never texts him.or answers his texts, doesnt let him know of any appts that concerns his kid. So I guess in the end it depends on the person

My SO has a son from a previous relationship. They loathe each other and keep the talking to a bare minimum about their son. For the past 7 years I’ve tried to have a co-parenting relationship with her and she is IMPOSSIBLE to get a long with. No matter what you said, she knows better and gets super defensive. So I’ve started backing off in the last few weeks.

Mine and my daughters father is friendly and civil but about our daughter. We never talk about getting back together, we’re both in different relationships. As for my current bf and his ex, she’s tried other conversations and he keeps it strictly about their son.

We talk daily. Sometimes it’s just about the kids and other times it’s just friendly conversation.

I talk to my sons dad on a daily basis and throughout the day about our son, pictures, and among other things such as work or our families if we need help with something, our son is with me Monday -Friday and he comes sees him weekends so we FaceTime him everyday so he doesn’t fee like he’s missing out on a lot, and currently I’m looking into buying a house and he’s gonna put his name on it also since his credit is a lot better then mines so I can get a better rate lol

I’m still living with my ex he’s my best friend lol. He talks to his other baby mom sometimes. Being friends with your ex is monumentally beneficial for the kids. Sometimes I even text his ex like pictures and updates.

My kids dad had a friendly relationship with his ex and it turned into long conversations and then he started messing around with her again then moved in her house shortly after


My son’s father and I speak a few times a week. Unless we are planning something or my son is in trouble for something. We are friendly and have a great co parenting relationship. We have 50/50 custody. And split holidays and sometimes we even do joint holidays. I dont think there is a set number or topic for conversation. If you are friendly with that person it makes things easier for your kiddo and yourselves.

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My ex is still a very good friend of mine we can talk about pretty much anything and everything, also with his partner. We’re all like one big happy family hahaha! Its perfect for the kids involved

Well, i was married to my child’s father for a decade. Pretty much everyday. Great friends. We have each others back. For whatever.

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My ex and I talk to discuss our son and not much more. He was looking for a job and I would contact him if I seen anything suitable. But that’s it. When we do speak about our son we do have a laugh. He’s a stroppy 11 Yr old. X

Me and my ex only have conversations about our son, it’s never anything more, we have always been super well at Co parenting and communication has usually been easy. We have set schedules and we also don’t have any court involvement.

Hardly ever, can’t stand that man


It depends if something is going on with my children then its quiet a bit. I still wish him a happy birthday and happy fathers day. He used to do remodeling so if I have a question regarding stuff around the house I do message him with questions. When my children were younger of course we talked a little more than now. But we r friendly.

Never. He doesn’t speak to our teen either. His GF doesn’t “let him”

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My partner speaks to his ex once a week by email and whenever a court hearing is. They don’t really get on at all but try and stay civil for their child’s sake

Split 7 yrs now, coparent great. Both of us have good stable bf/gf. We text/talk about every 2 weeks or so. Unless something is going on w kiddos we talk more. Mainly kids only convo, but sometimes general stuff for our families was close. Took time but finally got here

Text only about kids. Only when necessary. Once every few weeks IF THAT.

We co parent but we don’t text or talk everyday, we only talk if there is something the children need or if there sick, or if something happen in the family and a emergency trip is needed to be taken. Or abt vacations. Conversations are strictly about the child.

When ever we need to contact each other we do? I like to keep him updated about her week. We don’t get on the best tho so try to keep it short and sweet and just about our child but obv there is times we have conversations.

Never. We each live our own life. We only talk when he wants to get her and that’s it. Thankfully. Took 5 years for him to stop being childish about it, but it happened. I wish we could be a coparent group but unfortunately him and his wife ruined that with a false claim to cps on my husband and I, on top of other things they have done. Choose your battles. I choose for a simple life.🤷🏻

Honestly, I don’t speak to either of my kids “dads”. They split and left the kids, too. My son hasn’t seen or heard from his “dad” in about seven months and my daughter gets phone calls from hers maybe once a week or every other week, but hasn’t seen him in over two years…

I think it depends on their relationship. Are they still friends? If so then talking about their lives as they would another friend is OK. If their relationship isn’t friendly then they should speak only about the kids. Personally I don’t talk to my ex. I tried at the beginning. He’s a control freak so that didn’t work out well. Then after 4 years of no contact he decided he wanted visits. Got phone visits. But those calls kept being about me, not the kids or building a relationship with them. He stopped those calls when I put my foot down. He tried contacting me, not the kids, occasionally. But I told him if he’s not interested in the kids to stop calling. So we don’t talk at all.

We speak when we need to. We will send pics or funny moments with our child. We split 7&7 so we usually text every other day to check in or anything.

My 2 oldest father moved across the country and I have full parental rights, but he can call whenever he would like and if he wants to visit he let’s me know so we can arrange a time. However he only calls maybe once every 2 weeks and it’s normally to only talk to the kids, if we need to talk it’s normally only about the kids. We didn’t end on good terms but it’s kind of level terms now.

When my kids were younger we used to talk/text more often. Probably 4-5 a week. contact with each other was always initiated to check on the kids or discuss things pertaining to the kids but every now and then we would talk about random things. We were always respectful of each other and his gf at the time. Now that our girls are 10 and 11 years old and have their own phones we only speak to each other randomly. Like once or twice every few weeks. We communicate as necessary for the kids to discuss schools, childcare , etc. although we sometimes still have random conversations they are never flirty . We are both in other relationships so we give them the respect they deserve. We get along fine but that doesn’t mean imma pick up the phone just to say hi. I do wanna add We live like 5 min from each other and share custody 50/50 . On the days that he kids are with me they talk to their dad a few times a day and I talk to them a few times a day when they are with him but on their own phones.

We talk about the kids. Maybe a little friendly conversation. But its not often or to long.

My 2 daughters father and i never speak bc theyre older and dont need any collaboration if they want to see the other parent. My son is 6 his father and i limit convos about him and usually its just a “hey can i talk to bubba” deal. Hes not real involved in his life and doesnt see him but were friendly…no hard feelings or anything.

We talk at least 2 times a week, sometimes more. We will randomly send one another pictures that we’ve taken of our son and funny things he’s done. Our son also knows that he is allowed to call either of us whenever he feels like it. We talk about more than just our son because we are friends.

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When I was Co parenting (my daughter is 19 now) about 1-2x a week to talk about schedules and anything happening with her.

I was with my daughter’s dad for 11 years. Been separated for 2 now. When she’s here with me, we talk maybe once a day/every other day. Strictly about her. When she’s with him, it’s only if he needs to know something or if I need to go pick her up. We keep things about our daughter and pretty minimal bc we tend to disagree a lot and he doesn’t like not being in control anymore.

I deal with my husband ex regarding his son because they can’t communicate. But her and I have a very good relationship so we talk a few times a week mostly about my step son but sometimes about life and everyday shit my best friend and her ex have 2 kids and they talk mostly about their kids and nothing else all depends on how the relationship ended and how committed the parents are to co-parenting

Strictly about the child and only when we are planning what day he will have him. He works in a factory and his shifts are always changing. So we talk maybe once a week

Depends on my ex really, we have been split 11 years, in the beginning 2 and a half years we did not get along at all and would only communicate if absolutely necessary.(so bad where drop offs were at the police station) then he got a divorce and we were much better at co parenting. At that time it was maybe weekly conversation maybe about our child or just checking to see how I was. Then he got into drugs and sometimes is clean. As far as phone conversation goes there really isn’t much but if the boys are with him(supervised by his mother of course) I may call to invite them to hang out. Other than that not really much conversation. I have full custody and don’t really include him unless he asks, which he doesn’t really. Sorry that is complicated but it just depends. We have a good face to face communication and my husband as well but phone is just iffy and weird as it really depends on his sobriety

Cant. E too friendly with my ex without him thinking theres hope :roll_eyes: I keep it short & simple, only about our daughter. We both seem to think it’s good co parenting :woman_shrugging: My partner and his ex used to be extra friendly… extra extra before we got together (she already had a 2nd bd too).She never liked me & hated me more when she abandoned her child & after 3 months he got temp emergency custody & her c.s. got cut off. Always looks for reasons to dislike me, keeps telling their daughter I’m nothing to her because we’re not legally married (3 yrs together + expecting our own), doesnt acknowledge me when I open the door for her, etc. But she desperately tries to have that extra friendly relationship with him, she used to text him randomly about her relationship problems, random texts about common facts between her and their daughter, expects him to keep her up to date with her school work (50/50 custody), only texts or calls when she knows I’m not around, extra needy & gets bitchy, loud, & disrespectful if he doesnt do ehat she says.
I’ve put a stop to him being friendly with her becaause theres no need for that, especially if she clearly only wants a relationship with him. I tell him to always be civil and respectful for their kid but they dont need all that extra stuff.

Me and my ex talk every day, send each other pics and we have a good friendship for our sons sake else I wouldn’t talk to him. Our son is 7 months now and we both work full time and we alternate weekends. We split the week so neither of us miss out as he has 2 parents not just 1. I think it’s so important for the mum and dads to have their children equally. It’s not fair one parent having the child full time, it’s not fair on the child let alone the other parent.

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My sons father I only talk to the day before he is supposed to get him to confirm pick up/drop off times. Unless there is any emergency! But my step sons mother is my friend and we talk almost daily weather both about my step son and just friendly conversation

I’ve NEVER spoke to them again. It’s been ~5 years.

Way more than I want too.

A few times a week regarding school, sporting schedules or to share pictures of special moments. We do not text casually or call just to talk and I think if you are in a relationship or remarried that is extremely inappropriate. There is nothing wrong with being friendly, but boundaries are a necessity in my opinion. We do however have an open door policy when it comes to children communicating. My son can text his dad or call whenever he needs to.

We talk pretty much everyday but mostly because of how our custody is set up. It’s pretty much always about the kiddo. We are by no means friends but we are friendly for his sake.

We havent spoken since 2008. My son was almost 2 at the time. I tried to coparent and stuff he wasnt having it. I raised my son alone for 4 years. I had to pay for the divorce. I had to pay extra bc he wouldnt give me an address or meet me to sign the papers and he blocked me on fb. I’m still a little salty just bc ive had to explain this person to my son but we have a good life now.
I really feel like adults should put their shit aside and raise their children together. Just bc you arent together doesnt mean you cant both be parents

As little as possible. Maybe once a year. Wish it could be never.

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It took many many yrs for me and my ex husband to be civil… it just takes time… but in the beginning, texts were only about children… now I can call him or text him about anything

My sons dad and I are still really close and I’m really good friends with his fiancé. We talk almost everyday, as well as hang out a couple times a week. We share custody and learned over the years that it’s easier to be friends and try and do things together, and we both have other kids from relationships after, and want all the kids to be close and know each other since they’re all siblings. I’m aware it doesn’t work for everyone, but it’s great for us


I try to be as friendly as I can. I only really draw the line when he tells our daughter stuff like he’ll come down to visit her getting her excited when he’s just told me the day before he’s not really coming down… Has other priorities
We talk every time he has a court ordered custody video chat visitation
We’ve been separated for almost 3 years now

Limited to pick up/ drop off/ Illnesses or important events in child’s life. Keep it as friendly as you are with the cashier at the store


Never my son’s (oldest) bio father is not in the picture never has been. My husband adopted my son in 2015.

I’m friendly, he isn’t. Most of the time I try to communicate about drop off plans and he never responds and then shows up at a random time to pick her up. Normally he responds just fine and would even help out if I had car problems or whatever but now that he has a new girlfriend he acts like a robot. Not that I’m necessarily complaining but I feel that respect on his side is really lacking. We’ve been split for 4 years.

My husband and i are both friends with his first sons mom. I talk to her more often simply bcuz im a stay at home mom and he works a dick ton. We also have the occasional cookout with her, her fiance and other children too :woman_shrugging: we all get along great. There’s the occasional parenting disagreement but we’ve gotten pretty good at moving thru them.


My ex and I are on good terms. Communication is primarily about our child but it is not unusual for friendly chat about other things throughout the conversation. We invite each other to BBQ’s, dinner and whatnot a few times a year.

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Only when we need to

I speak to the father of my children mostly when it’s about the kids but we do get along and it’s great to have a wonderful co-parenting relationship! I think that if the other parent is in a relationship it is great to respect their significant other as you would want them to feel respected and secure in their position and relationship.

We only communicate about the child (which they aren’t always the best at) and it’s usually about appointments, illnesses, and special events.

We speak weekly unless there is a need or something that needs to be discussed before then… I discuss school situations doctor situations anything else with him when it comes up other than that we kind of do a weekly summary at the end of the week about how it’s going and what’s going on with the kids just so we’re on the same page

It depends really. I talk to my sons father maybe once every 2 weeks or so. I talk to his wife every few days. We co parent well but we’re not exactly friends however I wish we could be. However my sons other “babymomma” talks to them multiple times a day and is best friends with his wife. Honestly they have a great relationship.

Honestly sometimes we talk for short bits, sometimes it’s a few hour(we talk almost daily). We don’t just talk about our kids, because we are also still friends too. We talk about most everything, even when we started dating other people we would talk about our relationships. I have no regrets with it.

My sons father and I talk everyday, mostly about our son. But we have 7 years of relationship and friendship behind us so sometimes we talk about other things.
My current boyfriend and his sons mother rarely talk about things outside of their son. I have no problem with my boyfriend talking and being friendly with his ex, but he does get a little mad when I am friendly with my ex.

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Depends. If our son is giving me trouble with school work or other things, his father and I speak often. If everything is good we speak every few days.

We speak a minimum of once a week. Our son spends a week with his dad and then a week with me. Back and forth so I make sure that his dad and I speak at least once a week to discuss behavior, wants, needs and concerns.

Me and my ex text probably every day now but it always surrounds the kids; now I will say it took probably 2 years to develop this level of co parenting. We are both happily remarried and we all 4 do things with the kids together. It’s important that the kids see this kind of interaction in my opinion.

My ex and I only text when there’s something to text about and sometimes it branches off into convo about other stuff but not often anymore( our son is almost 13 now with a phone of his own) we communicated via text more when he was younger. During sports season we see each other alot and we all hang out (me, my husband,him,his wife) and shoot the shit and chat about whatever. We’re all very friendly

I haven’t spoken to my sense she under 5 maybe 5 and she almost 25. And I spoke to him again he approached me asking about seeing his daughter I said up to her because how old she and that was in 2008-9 maybe.so 1998-2001 disappeared 2008-2009 tried to reappear at 13-14 yrs old

I talk to my ex husband daily. About our child or about things going on in our town or with ppl that I’m wanting/needing to know.

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Personally I have a permanent restraining order so we never speak. I have sole/primary custody with visitation upon my discretion. After 5 years he decided to take me to court lying about the visitation in our paperwork. He looked like an ass, but now my children have to do therapy because its been 5 years, but they are all old enougb to decide if they want to see him and they don’t. Im being blamed because of my trauma if the relationship but his children remember hiding from him when he was getting out of hand.

Couple times a week to coordinate kid events/appointments/etc. We don’t talk often about other stuff

I only talk to the father of my girls unless it directly or indirectly has to do with the girls.

My daughter’s bio hasn’t attempted to make contact in the 7 years since we split except for once, right after I got married, he sent me a Facebook message at 1 am to ask me to tell our daughter “he sometimes misses her.” That was two years ago.

But I know people who coparent just fine and even people who are close friends with their exes still so there’s not really a typical experience to go off of for these things.

Lmao… once a month MAYBE twice

Several times a week but always about kids and schedules.

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We do not speak daily, maybe weekly. Sometimes about the kids, sometimes not. We get along, as do my husband and my ex. I love the relationship we all have, our children are very lucky.

Communication regarding the children should ALWAYS be open, no matter how often or infrequent that may be depends on the situation. As for communicating outside of the child’s needs, that depends on the relationship. I think it is good for a child to see their parent’s getting along and being friends even after they split, but if they don’t want or can’t successfully cultivate a friendship, the conversation should at least be open to discussing the child whenever that is needed.