I'm being pressured to move in with a man with a shady past

He seems like a really sweet person, BUT…before I began dating this man, I told him that I care for my mother, my brother and my 3 children so I could only see him once a week. He admitted RIGHT BEFORE our first date that he did not have a driver’s license because he was a convicted felon, that he’d been caught with drugs and a firearm that he wasn’t licensed to carry. He said he was in prison for 3 years, and that he had been on his best behavior, had a legal job and his own house now. I’ve seen for myself that all of that is true BUT he has been pressuring me after only 3 months to move in with him, get married, have a child and I’m not interested in that AT ALL! On top of that, I’m the daughter of the sheriff in my old town (he’s passed away now) and I had a funny feeling in my gut so I started digging…he’s outright lied to my face about his name…he has so many aliases that I can’t keep up with them, so I can’t even find his actual arrest record because I can’t figure our which name is real. He said that he was released from prison February of 2021 yet there are photographs on his mother’s Facebook via snapchat that are timed and dated with them shopping and going out to eat when he was supposed to be in prison, so he’s lied about the date he was released. Obviously I’m going to break it off with him, but I’m just wondering if any of you have been through this with a man?

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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. I'm being pressured to move in with a man with a shady past

RUN AWAY as fast as you can. Take it from someone who ignored red flags in a relationship, you don’t want to get into anything else with this guy.

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You did your homework. Sadly nowadays you can’t take anyone at face value. Good luck on future dates.

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I’ve never experienced that to that level. But have dated some crazy or shady men. One I had told I wanted to take things slowly and after our first date (lunch) he wanted to go out to dinner and movie that night. I was a little nervous, but he seemed nice, so I agreed. The whole night he talked about vacations we should go on and what we should do for our holidays, etc. I told him that he was moving way too fast and I was not ready for this. He promised to back off, so I agreed to another date the next week. In our convos we talked about family and he was really close to his father. They spent a lot of time together, into harleys, have same name, etc. the next date he was all over me. Coming up behind me putting his arms around me. It was too much. I went home and googled him. Name comes up as sec offender. I do more digging, it was his father. For sodomy. I got out of there fast. But he never technically lied. Just withheld. But for someone who was close to his father, and too pushy, I was not having it.

Unfortunately your question had not been answered properly. Good for you doing your homework. I was in a similar marriage. I did not see the red flags or was just oblivious to them. He was not a felon. Which is a little different. But, we met & started talking and 4 months later we got married. He didn’t give me a fake name but he indeed gave me a lifetime of bs on how he grew up. And a tragedy that happened so to never question his family about it. So I did not ask. He was controlling, manipulative, & lied about his raising. He was a drug addict & drunk 24/7 & I didn’t even see that. I was blind. I finally confronted his sister about things & she couldn’t believe the stories he told me. I was married 10 years too long. Should’ve opened my eyes much bigger but I have learned a valuable lesson.

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I hope you do the right thing , break it off . If he is controlling be prepared… you really don’t need to be with this guy . :pray:t2::pray:t2::pray:t2:

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Run, dont walk, away from this man.

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Get out now and get a order of protection just to be safe with all the lies you never know good luck and be safe

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Yep I have! I actually married the dude after 1 month but I did it for a while different reason. Anyway his friend told me one day “there’s something you need to know” he went onto IDOC.COM & this dude I married was just drake’s from prison of 13 yrs for 2 counts of homicide! I was his prey I guess. He was a charmer that’s for sure. Lied about his name, age & kids smh…AND he was physically abusive in ways that you can’t imagine. I had to plan my escape, he even caught me in midst of my escape

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I commend you for seeing you have to stop seeing him! I had a couple similar relationships. I do feel that you really should have some safe guards in place. The order of protection for you & your family was great advice. Don’t be alone with him when you break it off. Try to cover all your bases, so it doesn’t turn into a lifetime movie. I wish you luck and God bless!!

Why are you dating him? Lying, manipulative, convicted felon…he sounds self serving. I would RUN!

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Read what you just wrote and then think to yourself… if someone else told me this what would I say.
Your conclusion should be this guy is clearly trouble.

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Yes, I have. Same exact thing about lying about his name, wanted to move and have a child. He even tried to make the rubber off to get me pregnant. I found out he had many assaults, including domestic violence of his previous wife. He was living in a city with no other family for over 20 years, only his four children and ex wife. Found out he has been married, at least 3 times that I know of. He was cheating. All this in 6 months. I was even going to church with him. It comes to find out, he would abuse women. Every few months he would come to church with a different women and threatens them not to go to that church after they would break up. I had to get the police involved and the advocate had to stand in for me. It’s more but I had to get out of that relationship. After a three week break up, I had let my guard down and agree to watch tv at his house. That’s when he drugged me and jumped on me when I could not defend myself. It’s more but this will give you a good idea. He got mad and almost choked me to death, something I will never forget. Be safe. I hope this will really help you decide. Today, I’m scared to date. I was fooled

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RUN. Honestly this sounds like the start of one of those dateline shows where the husband and the newlywed wife go for a hike and she “falls” leaving him with the life insurance $. Be careful and let him down gently. Best of luck!

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Be extra careful and have protection in place for yourself and your family prior to letting him gently know you won’t be seeing him again. Confrontation is not the way to go with his type.

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You’re a smart lady! And good for you to check him out!!! I’ve never been through this, so the only advice I could have is “trust your gut!” Which is what you’ve been doing!:revolving_hearts:

RUN! If your gut is saying something is wrong, trust it! I didn’t, and let a man pressure his way into moving in with me after a month, then slowly becoming super controlling, jealous to the point I couldn’t hang out with my best friend without being treated like crap when I came home, charged my Christmas gifts on my credit card! Ran up another card of mine over 1000 dollars, when I told him I didn’t feel the same way, that we moved too fast- he bought another phone to track me with! He put spyware on my phone!! Definitely learned my lesson!!

Tell him no thanks. .Time for to get out of this relationship. GOOD LUCK.

Are you from my home town because I swear this sounds like my ex…

The only thing about this? Which Of the Alias do you get the protection order for? He probably doesn’t even remember stuff he’s told you or his real name at this point, I’d get some kind of protection.

Girl run like a bat outta hell and NEVER LOOK BACK.

Yes!
I was told some skeptical :face_with_raised_eyebrow: thing’s, that rubbed me the wrong way … and intuition kicked in.

So I started to do some investigation work, and of course (like you) I found out the truth.

Our intuition NEVER lies … “EVER!”

I call it, God.

Her last sentence clearly stated, she’s going to break it off! She’s not asking if she should move in or not! Her question was if anyone has been through something similar :roll_eyes:……

I fortunately haven’t been through something like this!! Glad you were able to find out before getting more serious….

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RUN and I’d also change my number. No way would I trust this man. I hope he doesn’t know where you live he sounds a little iffy to me

When he said he was a convicted felon and did time why did you not run then? You have children I would be no whete near this man.

Some of y’all don’t read… She said she’s dumping him, just wondered if anyone else has been through something like this.

Your Dad had friends with LEO ask one of them to do a criminal check. They may be a need for the rush. Getting married and taking out a life insurance policy on you and then collecting.

Better break it off immediately and stay the hell away

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Scary!!! :frowning_face_with_open_mouth: run fast and don’t look back. I would get a restraining order for your protection. Good luck.

Good work! Always follow your gut! High five on dumping him!

Some of you bitches are rude af. Just want to point out that the status starts off with “Fan question”, so I would assume that the person who posted this isn’t the one actually going through this. Regardless, some of y’all are something else

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Run far away. You can’t trust him.

Get away from him now b4 something bad happens to you n your family :family_man_woman_boy:

How old are you?? Seriously…this sounds like you’re still too green to not realize how F’d up this dude sounds. You’re obviously a kind smart person to take on all that responsibility that you’re doing. Drop that dude ASAP.

I wouldn’t even waste my time with that bullshit.

Why is this a question on your mind??? You’ve got children and a mother and brother to take care of and to protect.

Kick him to the curb and move on. He’s already lying about everything and pressuring you to move in so soon sounds like a huge red flags.

IT WILL NOT GET BETTER.

You’re still allowed a drivers license even as a felon.

No girl I havent but he the definition of toxic dangerous

U. Actually sound pretty stupid… more like a squirrel LOOKING FOR A NUT…IM NOT SURE IF YOU YOUR SELF DESERVE BETTER. YOUR KIDS DO FOR SURE. HOW OUT THERE CAN YOU BE ?

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Put your big girl panties on. Say no. Simple.

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Watch your back you might want to have someone stay at your house for a couple of weeks this guy sounds Legit Crazy

Y’all are so dumb son . She said OBVIOUSLY she’s going to break it off , she asked if any of us ever been thruu this with a man !!! READD

sounds like a keeper

R.U.N. and dont look back

B.R.E.A K. AWAY and R.U N.!!!

Pls get way from him

Trust your gut and dont trust a liar!

I had a guy make up wild story once. He knew I had children and he didn’t. He lied and said he had a daughter that unfortunately died in a car accident. Coincidentally, her name was the same as one of my daughters.

WHO MAKES UP A FAKE CHILD AND SAYS THEY DIED?! … This guy. :woman_facepalming:t3:

Later he told me that he thought saying he once had a child would make me more comfortable, since I have children… and him saying she passed away was because he it was easier than trying to explain how you’re a great with kids when you’re an absent parent.
What a odd one!!

Break it off with him

RUN away. Then get an OP in place. Quickly!! Best of luck to you. :heart:

Stop wasting your time…

Run as fast as you can…in the opposite direction!!!

Is your name Jenny ???
Cause girl you need to run Jenny RUN !!!

I hope this guy doesn’t work for NASCAR cause he’d have all the cars stopped on the track with all the red flags :triangular_flag_on_post: he has waving…

Leopard does not change it’s spots run as fast as you can

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Always follow your gut. Period.

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Question is why haven’t you left yet.

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True people finder.com
All you need is his cell number :blush: you’ll learn more in that then anything else.

Running and dnt look back

Get out now while you can

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Lol ha ha ha ha ha ……:flushed::flushed::flushed:oh you were seriously asking for advice ….RUN

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Why would you even consider getting involved!?

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You really need to even ask others what to do …