I'm finally happy but my family isn't, should I care?

This will be a long message I apologize, bare with me. Rewind to 2014 I was talking to a guy friend, I was single. He was actually my cousins fiancé’s best friend. We would talk and flirt nothing serious on Facebook messenger for some time until my cousin and now husband got married. We actually hung out in his hotel room that night just laughing talking about life fell asleep had breakfast that morning. Never to see each other again for years. We continued to message each other but that was it. Meanwhile I met a man whom I fell for quickly, we started dating in June and my friend faded away. We got pregnant had my first baby with him in 2016. Here’s where things went bad. I found out a month after giving birth my then boyfriend had been cheating on me my entire relationship, and I mean double life cheating living with her up until our daughter was here and didn’t stop until I caught him. I was beside myself. We broke up, he was a smooth talker and somehow got in my head. I felt like I had no one to speak to, I had horrible ideas in my head at some points I truthfully think my daughter saved my life. We had a horrible relationship eventually got married, it was empty. I felt alone all the time, never happy or fulfilled. I didn’t respect him, eventually I decided to go to school to get my degree to be an RN so I could leave him. So I did just that. I needed emotional support, I told my family I was leaving I just needed to get through school so I could support myself. July 2020 I went to my cousins and husbands house a few months shy of graduation and guess who was there. Long and behold my long lost friend. Instantly our eyes found each other as we walked by and I could feel all the feelings rush back. We laughed and talked like no time ever lapsed. That night I said goodbye with no intention of speaking to him again, he grabbed my hand and our fingers interlocked. The next time he messaged me. We messaged just like old times, I told him everything I had gone through. Things some people didn’t know, sometimes I blocked out. I couldn’t believe how much I put up with. September I lost my grandmother and I remember standing with my husband and I didn’t want him to touch me, he meant nothing to me. I couldn’t find peace in him, comfort in him. I couldn’t imagine looking my parents one day and having someone that I felt so empty with comforting me. I knew right there I couldn’t continue this. I filed for divorce, graduated. I was able to take care of myself. Meanwhile I had my friend on the side lines because I wasn’t sure I wanted to even date at this point. Men scared me, I didn’t want to be hurt again. He talked to me, and by day gave me all his time until I was comfortable to try dating. He talked to me put all my fears to rest. Explaining how I needed to let go of my past to learn to love again. Eventually we did start to date. We dated, healthiest relationship I’ve ever had. He moved In short of a year together. We spoke of marriage, he’s never been married before and starting a family of our own. Mind you now 33 so in my mind my time is ticking. So once he moved in we did try for two months and got pregnant within two months. I’m not three months pregnant. My parents and his family are over the moon excited! My family (cousin and his best friend her husband) and other family members are not supportive of this relationship or pregnancy. Every time I seem to see them they’re always making little comments. When we announced this pregnancy we got no congratulations, nothing. Just silence. It was very hurtful. My mom and I planned to break the news at her house for other a month. My family just wasn’t having it. Even when my current bf told his bestfriend his reaction was terrible. He acted like we were in our teens. Saying him and his wife we’re together three years and married. I understand being married but that just isn’t the order we went in. Nothing has gotten better, we are planning a gender reveal for three weeks from now. And spending quite a bit of money on this event. The only reason why we are following through is because of his family and my parents.

We are very much in love, stable and happy. It just very hurtful.
Thank you for reading, any kind words or advice would be appreciated. I can’t change how people will feel or act but maybe friendly advice would help

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Please I beg of you, be happy. Be happy with him, with your new baby. Love life because we only get one. Continue school, make something out of yourself. Anyone who frowns upon your happiness shouldn’t be included in your success and greatness. BE HAPPY AND F THE HATERS. Love has no time limit or boundaries and believe me, you know when you know. I am happy for you, I am happy you found love and are creating life out of that love. It’s so beautiful finding happiness. Stick it to the world( really any haters ) that you found love be because honestly, you deserve love and a soul mate. -xoxo someone who admires you and is happy for you finally getting your man :kissing_heart:

Sweetie, this is your happh ever after, appreciate everything you have now and understand some things might change but your relationship with your soulmate is what counts, be happy and live your life! As long as you’re not hurting anyone, there’s no reason for people to be against it! Good luck!

No mam you should not care! Be grateful they got yall together then let them have their judgments. You been thru the bad and what you dont want, you been in a relationship ALOT longer then you were with your husband in my opinion. I was with my ex for YEARS but my now husband stayed iver on the 2nd date & just never left. We are 13 yrs and a 10 yr old son of our own later…everyday with him I literally want & love him more. Time & planning is good but it dont really mean dittly squat babe. Let those folks think whatever but later on they will be telling you how wrong they were after you just keep to ya’lls path!! I always enjoy every moment with my husband no matter who likes it, cus his family never has,because in my heart I know how happy we both are & that we work hard at life for each other but I also know that misery your life was with the husband…dont let them ruin 1 second of your happiness cus they are honestly irrelevant. Only invite people who are going to bring joy to your day!

And do NOT feel bad about it either because this day is for YOUR family & for the happiness & love you have created! I am sorry thats so long & also so sappy, Im usually not that way but this subject is one of the few I am on. Not everyone in this life gets to have the love I lucked up and found but I feel like you have to & people need to know they deserve that kind of love in their life

Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. I'm finally happy but my family isn't, should I care?

No, you shouldn’t care

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I wouldn’t care about what my family and friends think.

If you are happy and healthy and it’s good for your kids no one else matters

If you are happy, then that’s all that matters.

Just be happy and show them in the long run…maybe they will come around or maybe they won’t who cares if you happy

As long as your happy Boone else matters except your kids

I didn’t read past the first sentence … but I’m going to answer “no.” You shouldn’t care. I don’t even need to see the details. Your happiness matters, not what other people think.

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Let them be mad. Just because their story is love, marriage and a baby carriage doesn’t mean yours is or needs to be. You both are more than old enough to make this decisions about your own life.

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Opinions are like buttholes, everyone has them and most of them stink. If you are happy and content with the way your life is going, then so be it.

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If you’re genuinely happy and in a safe and stable relationship then who cares about them :woman_shrugging:t3:

Live your life and damn the naysayers

Sounds like y’all were meant to be together don’t worry about what anyone else thinks

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Who cares if they like it it’s ur life as long as ur happy and it’s a healthy relationship I say go for it!!! Be Happy!!

Ultimately as long as you BOTH are happy, then your families opinions don’t matter. Remember that the only people cheering you on in this world is you and your partner!

Your happiness is what matters. The only people missing out are them, your baby will have everyone they need. And all the love they need. Focus on your growing family and happiness

You build your own family. In the end, nothing else matters.

Live your life the way you see fit and if it comes to it block the others out trust me you will be so much happier .

Sounds like jealously to me please take no notice and enjoy your pregnancy and your new realationship xxx

Live your life! Do you ! Be happy… cause all the people judging and “not supporting” would do the SAME thing and not care. People will always judge. They’ll get over it eventually. :heart::heart::heart: congrats on the little bean…

Sometimes you have to overlook everyone else’s opinion and live for yourself. I have people who were mad when I got pregnant the first time, married my now husband of 4 years, got pregnant with my second, quitting my job and being a stay at home mom for our girls, moving away… but at the end of the day, you have to live for yourself. If you let people’s opinions effect your mood, you’ll never be happy. Some people just aren’t happy for others and that’s okay! So no, you shouldn’t care that they’re not happy. You are and that’s all the matters.

Just be happy. Nothing else matters!

No. You’re happy, supported, cared for. They should be over the moon you have someone to be there for you. Stick em out if they don’t change their attitude. Enjoy your pregnancy and family c

If you are happy, then screw others. They will either come around or not. Who cares? Cut them off if start getting toxic.

If that part of your family isn’t happy who cares. That’s is their problem. If they don’t want to be supportive then you don’t need them in your lives. I would completely ignore them.

I would straight up ask them what they have against your relationship! But, in the long run, all that matters is that you guys are happy!

Your life and your choices

Leave these bitter people out of any future news… trust me when I say that them hearing news through the grapevine is more hurtful :grin: live your life and only confide in those who support you :heart:

Maybe they are just shook i mean a baby a divorce and then straight to making another baby with someone you have known for along time but really don’t know. Within 2 months of meeting back up with this man bam pregnant. That is to much why would y’all try for a baby so hard after just reuniting with him? Just in reality it does not make sense. I know things happen but still give them time to process it all

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Sweetie I have 7 kids. Me and my fiance have been together 5 years and aren’t married. We have had people who always say dont you have enough kids or are you finally done etc etc etc. As long as yall are happy that’s all that matters and to have your parents behind you is even better!!! Hold your head high and stop worrying about others because at the end of the day your happiness is all that matters!

Enjoy ur gender reveal, and move calm. It’s your life, enjoy the moments along the way and cut out the negativity x

Do you. You’re both happy and at the end of the day, nothing and nobody’s opinions matter but your own :heart:

I called my sister to tell her I was getting married, she had thought it was a joke and wasn’t happy about it, it made me cry. But I married my best friend and we have two beautiful babies together and he is one of the most amazing people on this planet he is perfect for me. Your family will come around one day but don’t let them take any of your happiness

Be happy with your bf. It doesn’t matter what your family thinks. Hell, to my family I’m the same. Love, kids, them married (common law).

I’m pregnant with my third and both of our families are asking when we’ll tie the knot. By law, we are married, but they don’t acknowledge it. My hubby and I are happy with how things are, even if our families keep lecturing us about “us not married” or “why are you having a third child for” it just gives a headache. So don’t worry what they think, if you’re happy, that’s what matters.

It doesn’t matter what other people think. If this is a happy healthy relationship that’s what matters. Your life isn’t other people’s business.

Are you happy now ??? Then that’s all that matters. So There

Forget what everyone else thinks ! Don’t let NO ONE NOT EVEN FAMILY STEAL YOUR HAPPINESS !!

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Doesn’t matter what they think. Honestly I’d stop inviting them to everything & telling them things. When they bring it up let them know your thankful for all the help but now that your in a good place all they are willing to do is be mega give & bring you guys down. That you don’t need that ever & especially not all that negativity while pregnant. End of story.

Happiness is you and your boyfriend’s. No one else should matter. Best wishes for you both! Congratulations! Hugs

Just be happy and stable. It’s your life not theirs.

Do you and don’t care about other people opinions. It’s your life , you choose how to live it :two_hearts:

Nope they just jealous and honestly I wouldnt care

People are afraid of what they don’t understand and that fear can be projected in mean ways. Don’t let them get to yall! They just dont understand bc y’all didn’t do things the exact same way as them or on their timeline. Congrats on the baby to both of you! Y’all sound really happy and are going to be amazing parents.

First off, I didn’t want this love story to end. I enjoyed reading this- mostly because it had a happy ending and ended the ending I was rooting for!
You guys have history. You know each other’s raw and and uncut side. So I don’t feel like this is moving fast AT ALL. You’re adults with mature feelings and you know what you’re doing. You are able to understand the consequences of actions and can analyze decisions and outcomes before you make them (unlike if you were immature teenagers)- so screw everyone who doesn’t support this! You deserve this.
Props to you for doing all you did to get to where you are… and for all these feelings to have lasted as long as they have for you and this man, that means something… that’s the love we only read about and all wish we find in life. You don’t know me, and I don’t know you, but I’m rooting for you- I support you!

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You don’t need other people’s opinions (regardless of who they are to you) for you to be happy.

Continue with your life with the love of your life, I had this love and through family pressure let it go as i had 3 daughters i brought them up and love them dearly but miss the love of my life every second im awake, and sadly he has passed away we have one life if you love someone and are happy its your life embrace it enjoy it and always remember to nourish that love you have you are so blessed just enjoy have the best life xx

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Be happy & enjoy your lives together. You both deserve it.

My dear you & him are truly happy right? Then who cares about ANYONE else’s opinion! If they don’t like it, they don’t have to be involved in y’alls lives. Much love & happiness to you. He sounds like a good catch. Keep him :heart:

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You’re happy that’s what’s important

But maybe there’s more to the other couples story maybe they’ve been trying and not had a baby yet or a whole other list of things
Just be supportive and have fun with your man and baby

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Girl, no one should tell you to not be happy. Screw them. You did what most people couldn’t. Remember that. You don’t need validation from people who obviously don’t care. You only live once. If you aren’t happy like sucks. So what’s the point? Don’t let them ruin it for you.

You be happy no one else matters !

Be happy. Don’t worry bout the rest.

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Let me tell you my baby daddy cheated lied and denied my baby wasn’t there for majority of her life and she’s going to be 5. I worked on myself he worked on himself and now we’re together and he’s living with me I forgave him. He’s a great dad with my daughter. His family hates me they won’t even talk to him for being with me. But you know my advice.

FUCK WHAT POEPLE SAY. if you happy and your child that’s all that matters

As long you both are happy thats all that matters. Live your life

Congratulations!!! Y’all just be happy :smiley:

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Forget what they think! YOU TWO are happy, stable, content and living your best life. The hell with everyone else 🤷

Who cares what anyone says your happiness is all that matters

Congrats! As long as your happy, I wouldn’t worry about people who are not happy for you. Prayers

Real family will support. Focus on your happiness.

You have your soulmate and are finally happy. You live your life and who cares what anyone thinks ir says. Don’t include those negative people in your happiness. Congratulations!!!

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You do whatever makes you happy! Nothing wrong with doing things “out of order” whoever said there is an order how to do things is ridiculous! As long as you both are happy live your life!

Just be happy. You’re finally are. I would also give the gender reveal a miss. It is just bringing undue stress and honestly is not necessary. Instead, surround yourself with people who want you to do well

If you’re in a steady stable relationship and he treats you and your daughter well then it’s really none of their business.

Girl, with everything you went through, you deserve this happiness! So surround yourself with people who are happy for you and exclude the rest by! NO one lives your life but you!! Congratulations on your happiness and your baby!

When I met my last husband things went very quickly. We met Aug 19 moved in together Oct. 1 got pregnant in April, engaged in August and married in Oct. his friends were totally against it and now they realize 10 years later they were wrong about our relationship. But things can’t go back to being supportive as too much time had passed and so many hurt feelings. Be strong and do you, if they don’t live with you, support you, and ho gives two shits about how they feel!

Thats a true love story! Enjoy it💕 If family doesn’t come around in time, its their loss of a beautiful thing and future baby. Family can suck. Years ago when I found out I was pregnant and I told my family. My mom said, HOW COULD YOU LET THIS HAPPEN! (and I was married for 5 years at that time) All because they didn’t like him. We divorced 2 years later but stayed friends. Hes was and still is a great dad to our now daughter 32.
Good luck to you and your new " happy" life☘

So drop the people who dont support you. End of story

Baby you guys are happy and healthy and that is all that matters. You got yourself out of a situation that was hurting you and put yourself in a situation where you are thriving and for that congratulations :heart: family can suck sometimes but just know that you’re good. Keep thriving

You can’t worry about anyone’s negativity, not even family. We live in a ugly world and if you found happiness in him then they should support you!! (Especially knowing what’s you have been through) that’s the thing though some people actually prefer you to be stuck and unhappy bc you are more available to meet their needs that way instead of growing yourself. Just be you & if they can’t get on board… they aren’t for you and that is ok!

I tell my daughter never ever be a “baby mama” I HATE that phrase!!! But if you’re 33, been married have a child it really is no ones business! Enjoy your pregnancy with the people who truly matter, your parents and his… period

HAPPY LOOKS DIFFERENT FOR EVERYONE :smiling_face_with_three_hearts:
Your happiness & the quality of your life should never hinge on the opinions of others. Please don’t dim your joy or waste another minute justifying, explaining or trying to sway the opinions of unsupportive people.
ENJOY your life :pray:

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you’re happy. fuck their opinions. none of them is the pastor that’s gonna marry y’all, or the nurse who’s gonna bring your child into the world.

Congratulations! No matter what you do you will always have someone who’s always gonna rain on your parade. As long as you are both happy then don’t worry about anyone else.

Do not let other people rain on your parade, everyone is entitled to feel however they wish to feel but they do not have the right to put that on you. You have found happiness, well done you! Iv learnt to say I’m happy, either be happy for me, keep your mouth shut or take your opinions and leave.

You don’t marry for your family. You marry for you and your SO. If you’re happy, that’s all that matters.

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Whose happiness is more important, your family’s or yours? I’d say, your family doesn’t know you, only what you’ve shown them. They didn’t build that relationship with him, you did. What’s good for the goose isn’t always good for the gander and if you are happy, honey, RUN with it. Be happy and tell them to kick rocks. Be happy, celebrate your life, celebrate your relationship, you don’t need their countenance to enjoy your life.

Why wrap yourself up in worry over them not being happy??? Are you truly happy? If so, girl, just let it go and let it be, and btw, CONGRATS! I am truly happy for you :hugs:

Young one your last 3 statements are on target. As long as you’re happy , he’s happy that’s all that matters.

Look what being married got you before? They have no idea what they are talking about, they are just vomiting out traditional values on you. You two already had a connection and just rekindled it, timing and all, sometimes its just meant to be. It seems like you went about everything in the right way and that you are very driven and independent, I think it’s great that you are doing things on your own terms. You deserve to be happy

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Can’t please everyone. Just have a small celebration with the supportive people:)

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Let them go. If they loved you and your partner this wouldn’t be happening. I think maybe there is some jealousy there. Maybe they’re unhappy in their relationship or going through a rough time. I wouldn’t bother inviting them to the reveal, if they come it’ll be uncomfortable for everyone there. Sounds like you’ve been through enough and worked pretty hard to get where you are. Don’t let anyone steal your joy.

Edited for spelling

Life is to short not to be Happy.Congratulation,

You cannot please everyone, ignore them and concentrate on your family

Just ignore the haters! Y’all are happy that’s all that matters my dear! :wink:

Screw them. Family is suppose to be about unconditional love for one another. So what its 2021 and you are pregnant and not married who cares. You did the traditional route and look how that turned out. You do you Congratulations on your baby to be. Surround yourself with your parents and his parents and him… The rest sound jealous and crazy. You and Your man love each other and those babies and be a great family unit. Congrats on the RN too that’s amazing.

They will get over it or go away. Do what makes u two happy. It’s YOUR LIVES. Not theirs.

Keep doing you and don’t worry about what others think

You’re happy, he’s happy. Enjoy & congrats

Live life for you. Nobody else has the consequences or the pleasures anyway.

First off…CONGRATULATIONS ON THE BABY!!!
Girl. If you are happy, stable, and see a good future with him then you need to ignore all the negative! If they arent happy well than boo! They should be supportive but the saying, “you cant please everyone” comes to my mind and I think you should live your life the way you want to and dont worry about anyone else but you. Go live your happy ever after.

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I have had an awful marriage, I stayed because I was brought up to give up. But one beating too many couldn’t take no more. I’m single and the happiest I’ve been in years, I’ve lost people through it but I can’t live my life to please them. So please enjoy your life now your where you should be and hopefully people will eventually be happy for you. But if they don’t, please don’t let it spoil your life, you’ve lost enough life already. Enjoy this precious time and remember you can’t change your past. But your future is yet to be written xx

When hubby and I got married we heard it all. Won’t last a year. At a year, it won’t last three. At three, it won’t last five. It is now 44 years later, and still suspect some of them are waiting. Let them. They will not ruin our relationship. Let them be miserable on their own. No one can make you feel anything.

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They HONESTLY can get over it! Its NOT anyone else’s decision whether you are married or whatever! Yall love each other and are together! That’s ALL that matters

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Drop them u dont need negativity in your life! If you guys are happy and healthy thats all that matters.

Don’t worry about what they think, its YOUR life, YOUR relationship, YOUR family with him. Don’t worry about them. Live your happy love story and be happy!

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