I had met a guy back in August, we went on a date and nothing happened the first night. We got together weeks after that, there was a lot of drinking involved, and we slept together. I developed feelings for him, but he was honest and told me he wasnât looking for anything serious. We continued to talk and hang out, have sex, etc, alcohol involved each time. Here we are in January, and the past 3 times weâve hung out, no sex at all. Iâm genuinely confused, I donât know what to think and I donât want to ask and seem like thatâs all Iâm looking for, but at the same time, it kinda is
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. I'm genuinely confused and new to the dating world
Sorry, but you are a drunk booty callâŚMove on
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So yâall can touch genitals, but you canât talk to him about only wanting sex? Thatâs weird. But honestly, it sounds like he has an interest in someone else and doesnât want the benefits anymore from you aka his friend with benefits.
He said from the start he wasnât looking for anything 
move on as he isnât interested in anything permanent.
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You are just a friends with benefits to him babygirl.
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My grandma always said
âYouâll never find the right one, as long as youâre under the wrong oneâ
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Save yourself a lot of grief and pain and cut it off before it goes any further and you develop more feelings! Heâs clearly said he doesnât want a relationship so I would just cut it off. No need to play those games with him.
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No shortage of guys out there looking for a FWB! Move on.
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Iâ just be straight up⌠like look, you said you werenât looking for any thing, thatâs fine I get it. But does that mean we canât be FWB (friends with benefits) still in the mean time BC I liked that. Haha. Right?
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Right cause if heâs not looking for anything else what else is it
Lower your expectations. Heâs just not into youâŚ
He doesnât want anything more - which is fine. Youâre not in the same place. No hard feelings. Move on.
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As grandma said as long as u give him the milk ur not going to find the one that wants the cow with it, where were u when I was looking around?
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Have you tried talking to him?
Are yâall like, established booty calls/fwb or something? Or just friends?
I need more details. Spill the tea 
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Than next time you hang out just say it âsoooo wanna have sex?â 
lol but fr
Maybe heâs starting to get more into you & his feelings have changed? Or maybe heâs got other stuff on his mind? I feel like since you guys were just FWB if he wasnât interested anymore he would probably just ghost you why even hang then lol something else must be up
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You need to speak up. Ask him. If the answer isnât what you want to hear, you need to say so⌠If youâre OK with being platonic friends, then it needs to be ONLY that.
Know your value and donât settle for less.
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Well he was honest with you about not being in a serious relationship, now you be honest about the whole sex thing, lol 
Men like to screw with the mind lol. Just walk away, nothing good is going to come of this.
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Recently been through something similar. Honestly, Iâd cut him off and go find someone who wants what you want. One sided feelings will fuck you up. Especially if he finds someone else or ends up getting someone else pregnant. Learned from experience.
Cut that off. Trust me, itâs going to be nothing but heartache honey.
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He feels your getting too close he donât have it for you. You canât make someone love you You canât When someone loves you itâs the way you talk or the very smell of you or the way you smile. Things like that. You canât make that happen. Itâs like magic
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What did you do the last 3 times? Where you sober?
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Ask him whatâs up? The only way youâll get an answer is by asking him directly. Thereâs no need to beat around the bush wondering
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Iâm so confused by these comments lmfao. If he doesnât want to have sex but wants to hang out id definitely just communicate that youâre confused about what yâall are doing. Does he only want to be friends, is he catching feelings etc. doesnât have to be a big deal and whatever it is is okay but youâve been feeling a change in the dynamic.
Sounds like to me hes tryna spare your feelings by not sleeping with you.
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Were the last few times you were together drinking times aswell. Or are you only intimate when alchohol is involved? .
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Sounds like you got used
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Friends with benefits donât have sex every time they hang outâŚthatâs where the friend part comes in. If all you want is sex you need to let it known.
Maybe he has found some one , he does have an interest in but keeping you around for the hard times. When the now future relationship is being neglected in that area. Iâm there , so I can sympathize. All though there in an open relationship and she and I know of each other we are friends.
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Maybe heâs waiting to see if youâll initiate it first? Has he always been the one to initiate?
Leave alcohol out of the equation, especially if you get the feels that easy. Iâm not knocking you but alcohol isnât an excuse for having sex with him. I mean, sure, it makes things easier but the next day, youâll almost always regret it if there are âfeelingsâ. You know âyouâ, especially when alcohol is involved. Donât put yourself in that situation. Sounds like he was only after that to begin with. Use this as a lesson and move on. Donât let it happen again bc the hurt is too much for you. Iâd be the same. Thatâs why I donât sleep with anyone and have boundaries, especially when alcohol is involved.
If youâre giving him your body whenever he wants it im sure you can speak up and ask whatâs up.
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sounds like he might have found it elsewhere
Thats the problem with dating sites
Most of the men donât want anything serious but be careful because they will tell you anything to get one thing from you.
Itâs pretty hard to find someone genuine on a dating site sadly
You gotta stand firm on your morals or youâll get used time and time again
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Maybe he got a gf and still wants a friendâŚguys usually want sex.
#1 reason that I do not put myself out there.
I am just not ready yet.
Oh, I could. I have a 23 year old chasing after me.
I said no.
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Heâs not into you. Sorry.
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Omg. Yâall have screwed while drunk. Itâs drunk sex he donât like it like that.
He is backing off cause you caught feelings
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Shaz Anne Castles this reminds me of someone I use to hang around with
Walk away u gona get hurtâŚ
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Possibly realised that its unfair to continue having sex with you, especially after drinking. He sees you as a friend and wants to keep it on the straight and narrow x
People are dodging commitment an it seems to me also people are looking for help rather than love itâs a new Era
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Just use protection an beware of ghosting/ One night stands an hide ya purse 
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If you canât have an honest conversation with people with whom youâre in a relationship, you shouldnât be in a relationship at all. Just talk to him and get clarification and then act accordingly.
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Be honest and tell him all youâre looking for is sex. If he isnât down, find a new friend. Keep it honest and one partner so nobody catches anything.
He is definitely having sex with someone else or is in a relationship already.
Before you sleep with a guy build up a friendship. He told you heâs not looking for something serious. That means heâs happy to play around with no commitment. If thatâs what you want too thatâs fine. But if a guy tells me heâs not looking for something serious Iâm outta there. He wants a f**k buddy. And thatâs all fine if ye want the same thing.
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Hes not into you your a hangout as hs with someone eles thatâs how she rolls these days
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He used you sweetie- he told you he was looking- unfortunately this is supposedly âcommonâ now. But âold Schoolâ is the best - no surprises inside or out. Drop him and move on. You can not force love or respect - 
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If thatâs what you want, ask him why he isnât putting out anymore lol
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Youâre in the friend zone thatâs why.
Well he did say he didnât want anything serious. So he probably getting some elsewhere. Sure hope you are using protection on your drunken nights
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Ok, at first you started getting feelings, but now are ok with just friends as long as the friendship continues to have all the perks of a relationship, but without commitment?
Honestly, none of us know how HE feels or whatâs going on with him. It could be, he is getting feelings for you OR someone else he is talking to or seeing, so naturally doesnât want to sleep with anyone else⌠or could just feel bad for sleeping with you knowing he donât have feelings further for you⌠or a million reasons. Ask him is the best thing you can do and if you donât trust or like the answer⌠let him go, but under ZERO circumstances keep sleeping with him hoping for more when he was clear itâs just FWB type deal from the start. It is setting your self up for heartache
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U will never know if u donât ask
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Biggest red flag 
the only time any sex is involved when alcohol has been consumed.
Even if he was into you the relationship would start of toxic because of that
Youâve been friend zoned , he was straight up with you from the Start and if he was into you this would be something you woudnt even need to be questioning. Attraction only goes so far in life , Iâm sure you already can feel that something just doesnât fit so stop looking for the missing piece and go find all the pieces that fit together with the right guy.
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Just try to fuck him again. If he goes along with it great, but if he doesnât youâll have your answer & get this conversation youâre scared to have with him over with. Sex without commitment is a dangerous game when you know you have feelings; sounds like youâre setting yourself up for heartbreak.
He may still like being around you and either thinks your getting attached so trying to set a boundary so he can still hang around you. Or heâs trying to see if thereâs more to it out of curiosity. Like he doesnât wanna say anything but is wondering if yall can have a good time no sex involved cause he is starting to like you.
If thatâs all your looking for is sex there is nothing wrong with that. As long as you guys are on the same page about it.
he was very honest with you to begin with. And he does like you enough to hang out with & sometimes have sex with, Ask him, That you have the right, If the sex is good, why not. Even in this âthingâ that is all it is about,sex
He told you heâs not looking for anything serious. Believe him and move on. Nothing worse than you hurting your own feelings because you didnât listen and caught feelings when he made it very clear
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Communication is key.
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Heâs doing you a favor ⌠he could probably tell you fell in love with the d so heâs falling back, hes trying not to send you the wrong signals. If you dont want his friendship and looking just for sex⌠start seeking other options.
Talk to him. Quit worrying about what heâll think of you and just talk to him.
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Heâs probably sleeping with someone else but keeping you interested so youâre still an option.
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Heâs fucking someone else now
Iâm not trying to be mean but when they say âIâm not looking for anything seriousâ that usually means youâre not what theyâre looking for but they still wanna have sex. He may have started dating someone that he can see himself getting serious with which could be the reason he hasnât wanted to sleep with you the past couple times youâve been together.
The best thing to do is just ask him whatâs going on and if youâre wanting more than he is then end it now before it drags on any longer and someone gets hurt.
There is no commitment. Does he owe you anything, really? You teach people how to treat you.
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So Iâm confused⌠you werenât looking for just sex, but he was, you caught feelings. He was honest. Now you donât want him to think all you want is sex, but you do?
The solution is simple⌠talk to him. None of us know whatâs going on in his head. The only way to figure that out is to⌠talk⌠I mean, youâre both adults, so just have an adult conversation about what and where your relationship is. If what he wants isnât what you want, or vice versa, then just end it and move on.
Just talk to him. Thatâs the only way youâll get a straight answer. I think he friend-zoned you.
Good enough to hang out with, sex when he needs it, and he can still play with others. Heâs got all he needs I think as far as heâs concerned.
Once you add that sex thing in there and youâre not on the same page it changes things big time.
Simple. Seems like you need to have a DTR (define the relationship) talk with him and just be honest about what youâre wanting.
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He told you he doesnât want anything serious, you keep sleeping with him so he will keep taking advantage of that as he told you what he wants. If you want more, youâll have to stop sleeping with him and find someone who wants more.
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Sounds likeâŚyouâre his just in case side chick.
Just in case heâs horny+canât find it elsewhereâŚ
Except this,because heâs already told you he isnât interested in having anything else with you,or move on.
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Sounds like he is just playing a gameâŚhe knows if he cant find it elsewhere a few drinks and your like pudy in his handsâŚpersonally I would either carry on feelings aside or do a clean break and shut it all down and find someone who is in it for you not what they can gain
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Sex isnât everything in a relationship
I think youâre best off with that dildo that was laying on the field against the Patriots. Iâm sure you can convince âitâ to go all in. âŚ.you made the mistake sleeping with him so soon, keep doing that, the repetition will remain constant.
Let it go. If he contacts you, talk to him & ask him if his situation has changed. If it hasnât, move on.
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He most likely is bored or found someone else. He doesnât owe you anything or an explanation.
This happened to me minus alcohol and now we been dating for over a year we didnt want anything serious either 
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He got his sex. And you were easy. Now he wants another piece of cake. Youâre a side piece just in case.
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Hes already told you he wasnt that in to you âŚso what did you expect.
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Most guys who are that honest will let ya know if ya ask.
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Girl. He said he doesnât want a serious relationship with you. Why push your feelings onto him? He just wants to have sex with you. Why make it more?
Well he mightâve found someone he was more interested in he was upfront from the start you could talk to multiple guys too you know you donât gotta stick with one best part of being single you can do whatever you want if a guy gives red flags text another dude
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I wouldnât fish for opinions. Iâd ask the friend why he stopped the sex.
You get what you ask for
Get smart find a real man to be
With not just a one night stand
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Itâs January now sweetie, if yall ainât hooked up as far as a relationship and now yall ainât even fuckin, you might as well move around sis. You can communicate how you feel and see what he says, canât hurt anything
I would believe him when he says he doesnât want anything serious. It will just eat at you if you try to make it more.
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Your bein used get some self respect
Welcome to the world of the FWBâŚPlease place your feelings on the top shelf . Please buckle up because this will be a bumpy ride ! In most cases like this you are not the only one he has told the same thing to and will continue on this route until he meets a better player than himself.
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He has other women he is sleeping with. You have no commitment he doesnât have to explain. Your just a side chick so move on and play smart.
U shouldâve cut it off when u developed feelings and he didnt. Now your over thinking because he hasnât wanted sex. Your feelings are getting the best of you so talk to him. If he still isnât Interested then cut him loose
He straight up told you.
People will show you who they are.Believe them the first time.
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Lady, donât expect any man to respect you,if you donât respect yourself.
Lol really ?
your just a side piece 
he told you he doesnât have feelings for you so why should it matter ?
If thatâs all youâre looking for then ask for it lol. No wasting time hanging out if thereâs no future.