I'm heartbroken what should I do?

I’m in my mid-40s he’s in his mid-50s we’ve been married for about 11 years he has four older kids from a previous marriage and we have two children together. We recently talked about having a third and he seem to be OK with it and to be honest it was actually his suggestion and his idea in the beginning. We got pregnant and lost the baby at 19 weeks and my heart and soul are shattered. Now he’s decided he doesn’t want another one because he is to old . It is one of the hardest things ever as the thought of trying again is what got me through much of my grief and sorrow. So at this point moving forward one of us is going to have to deal with resentment towards the other for the rest of our lives. I don’t know what I should do because I don’t want to feel angry towards him for the rest of my life and I don’t want him to feel that towards me.

Help - anonymously signed lost and heartbroken and

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This is a tough situation. He’s in his mid fifties and is probably figuring it could take a while for you to conceive and then 9/10 months for a pregnancy he probably feels as though he’s getting too old to be able to play/interact with said child and thinking about if he’ll be around long enough to watch them grow. I’d sit him down and discuss how you’re feeling and why he thinks now that he’s too old,maybe he’s blaming himself for your loss or doesn’t want to try again because he saw how much it broke you and he is also deeply hurt by the loss and is afraid of it happening again,you should consider therapy to help you talk through and get an expert opinion. All the best to you and hope it works out
Also I am deeply sorry for your loss

Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. I'm heartbroken what should I do? - Mamas Uncut

He may be going through his heartbreak differently than you are and that is his way of protecting himself from going through it again. Have you sat him down and had a discussion with him, or considered reaching out to a counselor to work through the loss together?

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Coming from a person who was born to parents in their mid-40s already I wish my parents wouldn’t have had me that old for one reason I didn’t get to spend that much time with my dad before he died.

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Definitely need to sit him down and have a heart to heart. Maybe a “we won’t try but we won’t stop it” convo. I’m so sorry for your loss

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My boyfriend said the same after our third trimester stillbirth in January. It was grief and he was afraid. He came around.

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I’m 33 almost 34 my husband is 40 almost 41 and we just had a baby 6 weeks ago. I want another one but it’s been a debate if we will bc if we do he wants to sooner than later since he’s in his 40s and doesn’t want to be too old as they grow up. He has an 18 year old and I have a 10 year old also. I can get where your husband is coming from. And could be dealing with the loss of your child a different way. Maybe he doesn’t want to risk that happening again and going through that heartbreak again.

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Why do you “have” to deal with resentment? Y’all are adults, act like it. Talk about your feelings with no expectations from the other person.

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Loss/Grief changes people and their life prospective. I would advise grief counseling together. Maybe it will help you both open up and express your selves.

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Having a baby at that age puts you and baby at risk, maybe he is trying to avoid that.

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I wouldn’t want another in my mid fifties either so I can’t say I blame him for feeling that way.

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You need therapy.Everyone grieves different and you putting your grief and resentment all on him is not right. . Focus on your children together and get your happiness back together. Nobody ever grieves the same and he is being honest to you should not make you resentful . Go to therapy .

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To be honest I do not understand why you would want to have another child at your ages. With the higher risks involved, it truly doesn’t make sense. You both have children. Enjoy them! Soon enough there will be grandchildren to love and spoil.

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Loss can be hard on both parties. Honestly he may also be afraid that you will suffer another loss and is masking that by saying he’s too old. I would suggest counseling to help you guys communicate and to also help with the grieving process.

Sit him down and tell him that you really need to try again to help heal your broken heart…tell him you know his heart is broken too…men will hide their feelings for fear of being weak…but ask him to share his thoughts with you…I do hope you are blessed with a baby soon…for both of you…I wish you both the best sweetheart…:heart:🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿

I would move on and find another that can give me a baby

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This is definitely the time for professional counseling. Grief counseling and couples counseling. You cannot use another baby to get over this loss. That won’t work anyway. And he may be telling you he cannot put himself through this again. Both of you have to process this loss rather than substituting another pregnancy for it.

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He lost a baby and you need to respect his feelings also!

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you need individual counseling. Couples counseling isn’t a bad idea for the both of you to work through your grief together and understand where each other is coming from. You need to get on his level. I’m in my 50s and I couldn’t imagine starting all over and not being able to give my baby what I once could give my older kids. And I’m a young 50 something. You need to remove the emotion out of it and understand where he’s coming from. Regardless, you should probably see a therapist to help you through this

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He’s grieving. He lost the baby just as much as you did. You sound very selfish for not getting his feelings. Personally, if I lost my baby, I wouldn’t want to have another baby immediately. Respect his feelings. You’re putting your feelings above his. And to be honest, it’s super disgusting. You’re not the only one going through loss

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As a person who was born to a mom in her 40s and a dad in his 50s, I also think having a baby is a bad idea. I know it’s your life, but my parents separated when I was 7 and my dad who was older got custody because his family had money. He got sick soon after, and I spent the next 9 years taking care of him. I was just a kid and it wasn’t fair. He died when I was 16 and my mom is now 77 and can barely get out of bed due to health issues. My kids only have one grandparent and that is her. They never even got to meet my dad. Enjoy the kids you have and maybe try therapy.

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My mom had me at 38 and my dad was 49… my mom is now about to be 72. My dad passed when I was 21. Please don’t do this to a baby. My parents couldn’t be parents like I can to my children because they waited so long. And now I only have one.

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Just wait for the grandkids

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He’s suffering too - I highly suggest grief counseling for the both of you.

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Move on you have two children already & he has a total of 6. That should be enough. Don’t throw away 11 years!

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Hon at 40 enjoy what you have & look forward to grandkids to lov on

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I agree with the other commenters that this is potentially an issue of grief. As a dad who wanted more kids I was devastated when I found out we couldn’t have more. The thing is I didn’t realize I was grieving for almost an entire year after the decision was made to stop. I couldn’t figure out why I was angry, tired, and discontent over that time. When I finally made the decision to speak with a counselor it took all of two meetings to get a grasp on what’s happening.

I don’t know if that’s the case with your partner but it’s important to remember that you both suffered loss and will both need to deal with it in your own way. Losing a child is never easy and the thought of it possibly happening again may be more than his heart can handle.

You don’t have to be bitter; you can learn to mourn together.

I suggest counseling.I understand tell grief of loosing a baby.I also understand how the resentment is bc,I resented my ex husband for a really long time.

see a therapist, It’s hard when one loses an unborn baby, You need to work thru all of this, Its not your fault, nor is it your husbands

Personally I know you are hurting but trying to replace the loss of one baby with another is not going to fix the loss of your child nor take away the feelings you’re having.
I would recommend counseling for you and if your husband wants to go it could be great to go to couples counseling as well so you both can cope with the loss.

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I think you should try to be content with the 2 children you have together. He’s not wrong so it’s harsh to resent him.

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I would not try again. The risks for a woman over 40 is too high both on you and the baby. If you were to get pregnant now by the time that baby is 20 you will be in your mid 60s and your husband in his 70’s. Remember how tired you got being awake all night with a crying baby, or chasing a toddler, endless questions from a preschooler, and keeping up with schoolwork? Multiply that by like five! Thats a lot for people in their 60s and 70s. I understand your grief over losing the last one, I’ve been there myself, but you cant let it consume you, you have other children to be there for. Resentment is something you can control turn it into something positive, If your not able to do that on your own id give counseling a whirl!

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So sorry for your loss. He is grieving and is probably trying to steel himself against suffering the pain of loss again if you tried and the result is the same.

You should both do grief counselling to help make sense of everything.

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I say this with no disrespect but someone in their fifties does not want to be getting up in the middle of the night to change diapers, and then running around chasing a toddler they’re reaching retirement. Wait for grandchildren enjoy your time adopt a puppy

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I’m 45 and my hubby is 43, I had our last 6 years ago. I’d love to have another one but we both know it’s not a good idea for us.

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Give it time , it is not only about you ,why not become foster parents and see what it will be like to have more children and foster parents are so needed

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Ever thought of doing in home daycare for an infant or one family with little kids? Something to think about and then you can spoil every day and then SEND THEM HOME! LOL

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Think of it from his side

That hurt him too

Maybe he doesn’t wanna try again for fear of watching you go through all of it all over again and the feeling of losing another child

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I’m 43 just had my little girl xx

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Not to sound rude

But the feeling you’re getting of wanting a baby in your 40s/50s usually gets fulfilled with grandchildren for other people in that age group. Maybe that’s what you’re feeling

Give yourself time to grieve. Me and my husband had two miscarriages within 3 months. We then decided we were going to not try anymore because it was too hard. Three months after that we were ready to try again and now I am 28 weeks pregnant.

I can so relate!
Except I am divorced now. :cry:
I never felt so lonely after my Adult Children and Grandchildren left on Christmas Day.
Hang in there. Stay married.
I have had several miscarriages, so I can relate to your pain.
Just treasure every single moment with the Children that you have now.
It is just a moment.
:pray:t3:May your baby be wrapped in the arms of angels surrounded with love.:pray:t3:

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Hes hurting as much as you …he said no more because if it happened again the pain it would cause you would be just as heavy on him too …one geartbreak is enough …settle back and enjoy the grandchildren come along …your heart ,arms and lap will be full

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Take time to grieve and heal. He is hurting too. I say maybe it is better to foster, adopt, or just wait for grandbabies. If you wait for grandbabies you can still have a life, and way more freedom than an actual parent but also be able to love on and spoil the babies when they visit, also their mom +dad could have support and help with them. Win win

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I am 53 with a soon to be 9 yr old. I am tired, but happy tired, if that makes sense. How about counseling to help steer some of the decision making? Hugs

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I lost my little boy at 21w a few weeks ago. Dad is 46. He still wants to try again once my body heals for a couple of years. This wasn’t our first loss. When we first got together I had an early miscarriage and in 2018 we had a very late loss at 35w6d. My husband hurt a lot after our late loss. He treated me different. Then I opened his eyes to how badly he was treating me and he snapped out of it. Took him awhile. I felt like he blamed me for the loss even though he would say it wasn’t my fault but his actions felt like he blamed me. Maybe he’ll change his mind. There was a point my husband told me he didnt want anymore because he didn’t think he could go through the heartache again but here we are. Another loss only this time I got to the hospital in time but it was too soon. They wouldn’t even consider taking the baby at 21w and I bled internally in the uterus until baby died. It’s still fresh. Time and communication along with some understanding and compassion for one another is the only way to heal. Many relationships can’t move past a loss and that’s ok. And join some loss groups. They have been very helpful for me just reading some others stories. Take care.

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Honestly the older you are the more complications you will have and why do that to the child anyway

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I’m sorry if this is harsh but with the complications involved with a woman your age getting pregnant, both for mom and baby, it’s probably for the better to cherish the children you have, that and the math involved with life spans and having children at that age will make you much older than your probably realizing when your child is still fairly young, my grandparents got pregnant accidentally in their early 40s, my mom was a twin and this was the 80s so I’m not sure if the exact complications but my mother’s twin died in utero, and the doctors directly correlated her having twins and the complications and subsequent the miscarriage to her age

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Maybe become foster parents?? Grief counseling would help for sure

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You have 6 kids between you, not good for the planet to keep having loads of kids with no thought of their carbon footprint. In your 50s you get tired easily so I think your husband is right.

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He is thinking about the pain for you

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Stop telling her she’s too old!!! Thats YOUR opinion. I’m 41 with a baby… Baby number 8! It was MY easiest pregnancy. And I’ve never felt more young and healthy.

Our littlest is our Rainbow baby , after losing our daughter at 36 weeks. At first I was the one who didn’t want to try again after our loss. It takes time to heal. Give your husband time. And re discuss again later. :heart:

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Try to Forster a child "

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I too lost a baby durning pregnancy but I was 27 weeks. My partner then decided he didn’t want to try again and we would just have our son. He didn’t deal with the loss the same way I did, it destroyed me and he could just ignore it and not let it bother him. Years went by and we weren’t ‘being careful’ by no means but I never got pregnant again. I ended up with having serious health issues which lead to my relationship coming to an end. I got with a new guy and we ended up pregnant and my little rainbow is 3.5 now!

It’s hard not to hold a level of resentment towards them after. I struggled with it for a few years after because I didn’t agree in not trying again (I wanted more children), I needed his support through one of the hardest things I have done in my life but he wasn’t there… we are great now together as we have been separated for 5+ years but at the time I found myself building walls with him because I was mad at him…

Stay strong and keep talking about how you feel! Express to him your feeling in the whole situation because then he will have a better understanding as to how you are handling everything and your true feelings. Not talking about my loss when it happened changed me as a person :100:
Him saying he doesn’t want anymore kids now could be his way of dealing with it and not taking the chance in another loss happening. You never know until you talk with him. Communication is key in every situation! especially something like this. Stay strong mama, you will get through this :heart:

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Sorry for ur loss but u had to b aware of the risks of having a child at ur age.ldunderstand when ppl have healthy children then wait to 40s to decide l think l want another 1.not happy w what they have.smh…my mother had a friend whose children were getting older she wanted to have another baby at 45 l told my mom that is selfish , high risk, she agreed, sure enough she had the baby but it had so many disabilities l felt Sorry for the baby.NOT the mother so much …so that doesn’t mean l’m right l’m just saying odds r too great. B happy w what u have & older ppl need to adopt or foster.just my opinion

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My heart hurts for you and prayers for all of you. Sweetie remember we each deals with loss a different way. To lose a child my have been a bit to much for him - and if he’s in his mid 50’s he might realize that he’d be in his 60’s during the child’s crazy years ( sports, school,extracurricular activities)- this loss may have raised a lot of questions- men are a strange birds. Don’t hold it against him- get prepared to be grandparents now.

I’m not being insensitive but don’t you feel like mid 40s is a bit too old to be having another baby?

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You need to let him grieve his loss, men don’t grieve the same way we do and that’s fine. Stop pushing him away and try to be empathetic to his needs. Maybe you should both go to grief counseling together. Don’t let something that brought you together be the reason you both give up on your relationship. Take the time to grieve first and then make decisions based on love and not loss :heart: prayers for you and your family :pray:

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Maybe you could foster a child that needs a loving home? The joy of children will often change minds, and heal hearts. Maybe he will change his mind after opening your home and hearts to a child in need. Or maybe it won’t change anything, and you’ll both decide the child you fostered is exactly what you were looking for/needed. I’m sorry for your loss

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He needs time to heal. He’s scared to bring a young life in the world knowing he’s older and may not live himself to be there for him.
My husband was 47 when we had our youngest. It’s was very eye opening in that he was worried about not being here for him. He didn’t talk to me for 2 weeks. I thought he was mad but, when we sat down to discuss it he confessed he was in shock and scared. He was our 5th. He has 3 from a previous relationship and together 2. Hang in there. Sit down and discuss the situation. Don’t just wonder and be angry over what you think are the reasons. Communication is the key to a lasting relationship. God bless and so sorry for your loss.

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Good lord!! There is some heartless people on here!! She didn’t ask if you thought she was too old or not!! Don’t kick her while she’s already down!! What happen to women supporting women? Because it’s there is a lot of it not happening on this post!!
To the lady who ask the question, I’m sorry for all the hurtful comments :heart:

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Adopt an older child if that can be an option? Give a less fortunate and often overlooked due to age child a home and open arms. Or fostering could work out too, I’m sorry you miscarried, I have went through that myself and never was able to carry to term either of my pregnancies. Now due to some health issues I’ll never be able to, but I’ve raised my youngest niece and nephew and it’s helped me immensely.

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I’m mid 40’s and I couldn’t imagine having a baby at this age. People in their 50’s are becoming grandparents (I’m actually a grandma already). He has 6 children. He is tired.

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I would suggest you two go to counseling. He shouldn’t be resented for not wanting another child, you shouldn’t be resented for wanting a child. Neither of you are wrong here. But you need a third party to help you through this. Also in therapy, possibly bring up other options. See if any would work for both of you. Fostering, adopting etc.

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I don’t think people are being insensitive. The older you get, the higher the chance of loosing another pregnancy or dealing with more complications.
I hope you both can figure it out. I’d really recommend some grief counseling and marriage counseling as well. Good luck :heart:

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It’s really mean to resent someone for making decisions about their body and life. Go to therapy please it will help. Resenting someone for honoring their choice and body isn’t something that either of you need.

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I’m sorry but you need to give up that idea. A pregnancy is difficult with age. More chances of losing another and possibly other problems. Maybe he has changed his mind because he watched you go through the lose and can’t bear to watch it again. Feel blessed with the children you have and having a loving caring husband.

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Have you talked to him? He may think that the child died because he was too old to have an healthy child and he could not face seeing both of you suffering again.

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“In your 50’s” you get tired easily…. :joy::joy::joy: that might be YOUR experiences people - that’s not EVERYONE… shall I tell my 64 year old dad that he is too old and should be too tired to do shift work - 12 hour shifts… 2 days followed by 2 night shifts. Just because someone is a certain age - you can’t stereotype them for god sake…

Anyhow… back to the OP. Speak to him. At a guess I’d say he is still struggling with grief and the loss. Everyone deals with grief differently. Maybe self refer to talking therapies.

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Be foster parents maybe he is concerned that with your age you will lose another baby and possibly you as well and anyway I’m in my 40s and would never want to start from beginning with new baby too old for that now I just want to be a grandma to my sweet pea and finish raising my youngest children

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Take it as a sign. God is sparing you from something devastating. Be grateful. Move on with your life as it is. Enjoy the peace you have. Consider yourself spared…

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Maybe he’s hurting too. Men have feelings too and they dont always show it. Ask him how he’s feeling

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It is true you both are older and while still possible it can definitely be more difficult. And starting over at that age with a newborn is a lot. Everyone is different though. But regardless if he doesn’t want anymore that’s his choice. You either have to accept it or leave and find someone else to have a baby with. You need to decide how important having another baby is and if you decide to stay then you need to let go of the resentment for both of your sakes.

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Counselling is the way forward for you 2. This is his way of protecting both of you and especially him, from the risk of going through it again and his decision will be age related. Your grief is felt differently by you where you’re wanting to face that slim risk and try again. Yes age can play a factor in how long you’re around for your children as who knows how long we have?! You may have 10/15/20 years, maybe 50! No one knows no matter their age and health and you both need to talk thro this do you can both try and understand each other’s thoughts and feelings. At the end of the day, it’s you that has the ‘clock’ not him so you need to sort this sooner than later. Don’t get me wrong, it’ll take a few sessions and time but it needs to be done

My opinion is you are both too old very risky for you and baby good luck

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Sorry for your loss. My question is, why is resentment the only answer? What happened to understanding each other’s pain points, coming to a mutual understanding, being mature enough to accepting a reality that’s not every single thing you want? It’s not a given that getting pregnant again will result in a child. Everything happens for a reason and maybe spending time together and finally being able to focus on each other isn’t such a bad thing. Look at the positives instead of thinking resentment is the only landing site.

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I’m only guessing here because obviously I don’t know either of you personally. I think he’s hurting from the loss too and this is his way of protecting himself and you from any further heartbreak. Take it one day at a time and don’t try to pressure him as you are still grieving yourself and your emotion are still and will be for a while at an all time high. Maybe look into fostering like someone suggested above. I wish I could I would love to know I was giving a child a safe and loving home that has come from difficulty xx sending love to you both let yourself breathe and grieve xx

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I’m so sorry for your loss mama, that is absolutely devastating :broken_heart:

I’m not trying to be mean but by the time the child is 20 you will be mid 60s him mid 70s. I’d wait for grandchildren. My mom says it’s way better.

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NOT TOO OLD!! HUBS IS 54 N IM 39 N HAVE A 6 MONTH OLD AND A. 5 YR OLD TOGETHER, we also each have daughters from previous relationships his 26 n passed 2 yrs ago n mine 18 in February) I mean yes we’re not as go get em n crazy like even with our 5 yr old but I feel like we are soaking in more of the in the moment, moments if tht makes sense. Pj days more, not rushing as much, and both our kids where wicked good surprised pregnancies and I got my tubes out this time. We now have a house (bought it 15 months ago), a 2019 car tht is new to us this year, better time management and me more patience (hubs always had zero patience :rofl:) and no we well hubs may not be around for as long in their lives but I feel like he’ll be a better father for the years they 1st remember. It is NOT for everyone,I had MANY MANY MANY complications and still do BUT hubs is even more helpful than even with our 5 yr old. We have a dog and a kitty and there is just so much more we cherish I guess than with our daughters. BUT I can see your point of wanting to try again and see his point of maybe not cuz of his feelings and both yr loss. Maybe talk to him ,say some things even I mentioned of yes we’re older n our bodies hurt alot more BUT I do have to say I enjoy parenting SO much more than when I was younger just wish my body was younger feeling​:rofl:

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I would not try again if it were me. I’m late 40s and could not imagine keeping up with a toddler at 50. I would also be terrified of something being wrong with the baby because of advanced age on both your parts. I hope you find a happy medium because life is too short to spend the rest of what time you have left filled with resentment.

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Have you thought about 10 - 15 years from now? The child will be so young with elderly parents. I personally think it’s unfair to the baby. IMO .

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I had my third child at 30 and my husband was 35. I wanted to have a 4th when I was about 35 but my husband thought he was too old. Thinking that he was right. After 40 and 50 my energy levels were not the same. So now I have 3 beautiful children and grandchildren they mean the me the world to me.

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I pray GOD Blesses you

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Ok biologically I am not my moms child she would be my grandmother, they did legally adopt me when I could say who I wanted to live with. It did me 0 harm in life to have elderly parents so for all of you saying she is old or would be unfair who are you to judge if they can love, nurture, and financially afford another?? I learned old fashioned ways and have more respect for my parents. Loosing them in my late 30s was hard I will say that much but honestly I know people who lost parents when they were 6 so there is that! As far as loosing a baby I have had a miscarriage in my 20s but I look at it as God needed my angel, an angel to protect and guide me and his siblings in this life, I think about that what could’ve been baby almost daily but God needed that baby more than I did if that makes sense. I have 3 grandkids now and let me tell ya personally there is not a day that I think I want another baby lol, but that’s my choice, I would like to adopt a older child if possible but that alone is a big process!! Sit and have a serious conversation with your husband about why he isn’t wanting another and why you are? No resentment to the other is needed, just understanding. If it comes to it Maybe foster for a while, and see how that goes he might change his mind watching you love these babies and children that are going through so much!

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My mom was 42 when she had me. I don’t have/didn’t have any of the complications that I could have had from a geriatric pregnancy, nor did my mother. But we were lucky. I’m 50 now. Throughout school and growing up, people that I didn’t know would comment on how lucky I was to have a grandma active in my life. Only thing, it wasn’t my grandma, it was my mother. My teens I spent watching my friends do active activities with their parents such as canoeing and camping and all that with their parents who were in their late 30’s…while mine were getting ready to retire, get on social security, and unable to physically do all the things they could when they were in their 30’s. I buried my parents when most of my friends were planning retirement parties for their parents. I know that you want a baby now more than anything. Step back and really think about this. Sometimes being responsible and mature means doing what’s best and not always just doing what you want. I have 4 grandchildren now, ages 13 to 4 months. And while I would raise them in a heartbeat if something were to happen and it fell upon me to do so, choosing to have another one 5 years ago is something I couldn’t see myself doing. I don’t want my kids to bury me in their 30’s and 40’s.

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I suggest counseling. He may be going through pain also. You both have a right to your feelings and someone who is trained for these types of situations are the best option to help you through this.

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I had my last at 35 and he has worried his whole life because I’m older than his friends parents, therefore gonna die sooner. I personally would wait for those precious grandchildren. (His brother was 14 and his sister 11)

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Maybe the loss of the child hit him very hard and he doesn’t think he’ll be strong enough to go through it again. Maybe he is using an excuse of being old so that he doesn’t seem weak. Idk, I understand you’re hurting, but maybe he’s hurting too. I think couples and/or individual counseling might be a good thing

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I lost a baby at 43 he was a late miscarriage as well. I was the one who decided not to try again cause there’s no way I could go through that pain again. Now I’m glad I made that decision

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You both need to seek council in and find out what is really going on here. You’re blessed with healthy children and step children, are you trying to fill a void of some kind that you’re thinking a baby will fill ?

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Had my youngest at 42, their father was 13 years older than me. He passed 2 years ago not long after our baby’s 5th birthday. I wouldn’t say we were too old as death happens anytime. I wish we would’ve taken a lot more pics and vids though, really helps the children seeing themselves with their parent that passed.

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You guys need therapy to work through your grief and to come to terms with the size of your family. You need to respect that he is done growing his family in this way and work through the grief of that ending. He needs to be respectful as you work through that process.

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I hope you both find it in your heart not to hold resentment towards one another enjoy the children you have enjoy each other. When you have the loss of any life people deal with grief in all ways, maybe his pain from the loss was more than he expresses, maybe it is your hurt that he sees and doesn’t want you to maybe go through it again? The best thing you can do is talk and be honest with one another. After all the children leave home then you have time for the two of you. Don’t just look at it in a negative way. You both have children enjoy them and what ever comes next in life but don’t feel resentment,it makes for an unhappy life and possibly going your separate ways. Good luck with the choices you have to make. No one can make them for the two of you!

Do yall plan on ever retiring if you’re having kids at 50+?

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Might just need to give them some time to grieve mama. Just revisit the idea in a few months. But in the mean time you both need to heal and grieve and just enjoy eachothe

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I wouldnt try again. Keeping up with a baby at mid 50s and then toddler at mid 50s and then a teenager at like 65-70? Imagine that before you get mad at him…not just that but the child wouldnt even have their parents for long…you guys wouldnt be able to do the things that most children would want from you. Its just not fair for anyone imo. You guys, or the child.

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I had my last baby at 43. My husband was 58. It was scary the entire pregnancy. As we age, it gets tougher for us… how would you feel if you had yet another pregnancy—God forbid—end in the same manner? It is more and more likely as we age. I know it’s hard. I would keep having babies if I weren’t so afraid of loss due to AMA. But we will be welcoming another (our 2nd) grandbaby soon, and having kids I can send back home is a pretty cool concept!!

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