Please give me some advise, I don’t know if I should continue with this pregnancy. I am able to check his phone anytime if needed and he never seems to hide anything and always ask for permission to go out with friends, but this weekend I don’t know what he was thinking and doing. I’m confuse, he claims he loves me, and shows it but not sure if that’s enough. I’m lost and scared.
I am lost and don’t know what to do. I am 5 weeks pregnant and my partner went out this past weekend and his boxer came back dirty. He says he didn’t know what happen and that it happen in the house in the morning when we were eating in the bedroom, he did tell me he dance with a girl at the club after I confronted him, he said he wanted to tell me, but he wasn’t sure how I would react. He said it was with the group of friends he was with one of the girls. He came back home around 2AM and he was drunk. He typically doesn’t go out and it’s the first time he goes out to the club without me and dances with a girl. I notice his shirt has a lipstick stain and that’s when I comforted him.
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If anything leave him but don’t get rid of the pregnancy and even if it comes to not wanting the baby then give it up for adoption. Sounds like red flags for him but the baby is innocent and doesn’t deserve that.
that baby didn’t do anything. dont give the baby the death sentence because a grown adult can’t stay loyal.
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Of course continue the pregnancy. Have a job, a place of ur own and stay away from him. No time for his bs. Raise ur child and with or without him. It can be dne. I raised 3 without help from the dad. Many prayer for u.
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So you check his draws when he comes home and now you want to off the kid. Wow
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There is nothing wrong if you decide to end or continue your pregnancy it is 100% your choice and you have to be able to live with whichever decision you make.
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It will be one of many
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If your going to delete the baby and keep they man, your just as worst as him. Move on and love on that baby. Once a cheater, always a cheater and the more you take him back after he cheats the less he respects you. No man respect a weak woman! Hold your ground and stand for something.
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Umm yes, please continue with the pregnancy, if you don’t want to keep it. There are lots of parents who have been trying and can’t!!
At this point the trust is gone and you’ll always have questions now. But that baby didn’t ask for you to open your legs. I’m sorry not trying to be mean just brutally honest!! God bless you!
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It’s up to you if you want to continue or not. I know that I wouldn’t want to if the guy wasn’t even able to stay loyal 5 weeks in
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It’s really up to you if you don’t wanna have a baby don’t have a baby I wouldn’t suggest staying with this man if he’s out cheating though.
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If you don’t want to parent a child because of your situation then don’t let anyone feel like you have to.
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Yes, keep it! Would be stupid to even think that,
But but also If he hasn’t given you any reason to not trust him before, why start now?
Is it possible your overthinking now because your pregnant and suddenly these type of things you can’t do together?
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Don’t let anyone tell you what you should and shouldn’t do first of all. You have no idea how many single moms are extremely depressed, suicidal, and are ALONE in motherhood because the baby father does nothing to help and isn’t mature enough to be a father. Being a mother is a tough job on anyone and even more so when you’re doing it alone. He doesn’t exactly seem like husband material. Do what you think is right for YOU 
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Don’t terminate, babies are innocent in all. If it’s worth saving your marriage then try. If he continues with the playing and not having your back while your pregnant, you can do it alone. You are stronger than you may think.
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Continue the pregnancy and keep your child. Also, let his ass go
Cut him loose…he already lying…imagine what you don’t know…I know from experience…wish you and your pregnancy all the best mama:100:
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what is up with these comments??? if you feel like you want to get an abortion that is YOUR CHOICE, if you feel like that’s the best decision for you you have the right to do that don’t let any of these comments guilt you.
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You do what YOU need to do. And hold your head high while doing it. Sending love
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Leave his ass.
Do as u chose with ur own body.
Its nobody elses business but ur own. Only God can judge u.
Leave if he cannot stay committed while pregnant than that tells you alot. Please take care and don’t let him manipulate you with excuses because CHEATING Is a CHOICE.
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Don’t give the baby the death sentence I’ll take the baby and promise it will have a good home …
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I kept my son and got rid of his dad. 13 yrs later I have smart, handsome, loving teenager and I found a new man that does everything for us. Here’s your advice… LEAVE HIM and then decide your pregnancy issue with a clear head and no piece of $hit around to cloud your judgment and emotions. That baby will give you a happiness and peace that he can’t offer.
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He probably cheated, you know your gut feeling always trust that! It’s your body and your decision to keep the pregnancy or not!! Keep your chin up mama your gonna be ok
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Leave him and decide what is best for YOU. YOUR body YOUR choice. Don’t make the decision based off his actions. You can raise a child on your own, or you can move on on your own. Either way, leave him. I learned after my ex, always trust my gut. If I questioned it, there was a reason.
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They never change Move on… NOW!!
The baby situation is totally ur choice but it does just create ties you probably guna wish you burned! But hey that’s me speaking from experience!!
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The baby is not at fault, if he is cheating it would be so much easier to leave him sooner than later…
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Get rid of him pack his gear &give him the 
" keep baby 
but not him he’s a cheater 
I can not believe the amount of women in the comments bashing this helpless mother for not wanting to continue to carry a man’s child that isn’t loyal…… y’all are unbelievable!!! If she doesn’t want to be a single mom guess what? she doesn’t have to and she also doesn’t have to put up with a cheater!!!
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Your baby is innocent. Let him him go “keep the pregnancy”?? It’s already too late maybe take a “plan b” or use better protection but now you’re already pregnant abortion shouldn’t be used as a woopsy birth control. You have a wonderful amazing baby inside of you and YOU are his/hers first line of defense.
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I would say go with you gut! The last thing you want to do is be in the same place 5 months from now and feel like you have no options… Having kids is not for everyone, and if he’s acting this way now it may only get worse as time goes on. Do what is best for you, and don’t let anyone make you feel bad for choosing yourself.
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Keep the pregnancy if you want to. Don’t let anyone make you feel like you should continue it if you don’t want to. As far as the boxers and trusting him, leave now.
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Talk to him see how he acts say you won’t be played and it’s up to you to decide I know it hurts cause ur carrying his child but if your already seeing signs of cheating it will get worse and more often
Do you wanna be a mom
Would having this baby be amazing for you
Choose what’s best for you forgive and talk keep baby or not it’s up to u
That baby will be the love of your life regardless. I hope everything works out in the end, a cheater is really always a cheater in my opinion.
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Leave him and decide what you want to do for yourself. If you decide to keep it, it will be harder than you’re imagining but you’ll still manage. Good luck x
He doesn’t really matter. Once your baby arrives you will love it above everything in this world. So cut the dude loose now or later it’s no big deal. You can do this by yourself.
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Get out now while you still can
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Your child is not to blame but that choice legally is yours but did you want a baby? I will say this, I hope you are not financially dependent on him. Never give up your ability to support yourself and your children. Definitely sounds off and you need to look into it and think about this relationship because this is a major red flag. Dirty how? What did he say happened? He obviously remembers you need to think this through
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Leave him, but plz don’t harm your baby.
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Keep the baby. F o the man.
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I would definitely leave him. Beyond that it’s up to you. You don’t need to be with him to have and raise a baby. But that’s your call.
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does everyone on this Page Check their parthers boxers?
…
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Doesn’t sound like a relationship sounds like a dictatorship to me
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Why does what he’s doing effect whether or not you want to keep your baby alive? If you want the baby you need to remember ad a woman it’s your choice for a reason . If you’re thinking u might want to end the pregnancy because the relationship might not work out then I guess if you break up in two years from now you’ll give away the kid? If your boyfriend dies in 3 years will u give away your child?? If u meet someone else and it’s your fault the relationship ship doesn’t work out what do you do with the child then? Motherhood is a lifetime commitment and there are many reasons why you could become a single mom so I think before u decide if your baby lives or dies based on a guy u should think about if u could handle being a single mother. Yes men should be responsible for their children… but that doesn’t mean it’ll work out where he will or even can be… anything could happen that could leave u as a single mother. Either u want the baby or you don’t it’s on you not him
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At 5 weeks pregnant, the embryo is the size of an apple seed. It is not a baby. This is her body, her choice.
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This entire status is a massive red flag to me. he has to ask permission to go out with friend’s? You go through his phone ? Maybe he’s just sick of being treated like a child ?
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A baby is always a blessing. Keep that baby, since it’s the first time that he has done it maybe check into counseling with him so that he doesn’t repeat the same behavior.
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You have a kid, this guy is part of your life forever. Don’t let people push you into their views of" its an innocent baby". Being a single mum is hard but having a baby daddy come in an out of your life or not be there for the kid can be harder… Your only 5 weeks its not too late. But what do you want for yourself? Do you want a child cause believe me your life will change dramatically. As hard as it is there will be so much love…
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I’m sure most people are gonna say keep the baby . But that is totally up to you . Your the one that has to live with your decision.
My bf of 8 years cheated on me . We were engaged , had a son … but I found he was cheating very early in my 2nd pregnancy. After a lot of thought I decided to abort . I made a final decision to leave the relationship… I’m sure If I had continued with the pregnancy I would have loved the baby regardless & I would have did what I could to provide… but me myself just wasn’t in the right mental state & I didn’t want to put a newborn through that …
At the end of the day the decision is up to you .
I would figure out where y’all stand first , then make the decision
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So you’re going to terminate a pregnancy because your man is a POS?? How is that the fault of an unborn baby?? GTFO
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I think first time Dad’s get scared and act out sometimes. Only you know if you can trust & forgive him. Babies happen for a reason, I’m pro life.
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Listen to your instincts. If you can live with it try but starting over isn’t the worst that can happen.
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Do what is in your heart to do. In my opinion I would toss this guy because it will happen again. And clearly you sound untrusting pf him if you are checking his clothes and phone. That’s completely your choice to end a pregnancy. It is definitely hard to raise a child on your own. If you feel that is the right choice for you do it and don’t let others dissuade you from that choice because it isn’t up to them. I wish you well and good luck.
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Sooo… you’re mad you let your boyfriend go out and he came home with what you think is chapstick on his shirt and now you want to have an abortion?! Seems you need to grow up for one. And men often have stains in their underwear especially if they are uncircumcised. The skin holds fluids. General knowledge.
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Throw the whole man away. Guys are dogs
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Oooooh I would cause a fucking scene… no other female dancing on my partner
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Honestly if he has never given a reason to doubt before, why doubt now. He told u he was drunk, he danced with a girl. He asks to go out and u can see his phone. I say unless u have 100% proof he slept with another girl trust him. Shirt had lipstick, doesn’t mean shit. Dancing girl might have rubbed up while dancing , it happens. He may honestly not have known. Everyone saying leave is the problem. You either trust him or you don’t. It’s up to you. Throw a relationship away, then find out down the road nothing happened, then what? Kill child and relationship for nothing! Think how you would feel. I say communication and trust him. Build your family. Love them. Until 100 proof otherwise
Are you in a financial position to take care of this baby on your own? Is this your first child? It’s extremely stressful to raise a baby even with a partner. The first year is exhausting. If I wasn’t keeping the man, I wouldn’t keep the baby.
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I was a single parent of 2 for a very long time with very little support. It is hard but it is also doable!!! Don’t let a deadbeat man be your factor in deciding to end a pregnancy! That’s asinine!
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Bottom line…
Yo boyfriend went out and fucked his side chick.
You’re preggers and need to start adulting by deciding if you want to stay preggers AND keep yo cheating man.
You’re not lost or confused.
You want someone to decide for you.
Well news flash girly…
Time to put yo big girl panties on and decide what direction YOU want your life to go.
Is it single with dependant?
Is it co-parenting with a cheating liar?
Is it being single with no dependants?
Only you know the answers.
Honestly answer these questions and you’ll be ok.
I’d advise you to go get tested for std’s.
If he’s getting drunk and fucckin other folks, he’s not covering his shit.
For all you know he might be in a relationship with another person and playing both of you.
Don’t bury your head in the sand by ignoring what’s staring you in the face.
Step to the plate and handle yo shit like a true boss.
#BeTheCaptainOfYourDestiny
God gives us freedom of choice, think long and hard, pray about it, if U decide to get rid of the man, ok, but if u can’t take care of a baby then by all means have the baby and adopt it out. There are so many couples that can’t have babies and would love to make yours or even someone else’s baby their own. Don’t end a child’s life b/c of your weakness and or insecurities there is always a consequence for our choice so choose well you may not like the end result that you get. 
’s for all involved.
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It’s probably that he got really drunk and maybe a Slutty woman was trying to take it vantage of him, be a boss babe lay down the rules, show him you are the queen that you are also remind him he’s gonna be a father he probably is scared reassure him that he will be a great father and that you guys will work this out everything‘s gonna be OK because honestly first time dad‘s to act out this isnt my first rodeo I have four kids 6 months-13yrs two babies dad my first children’s father was already and dad though but the second one his first time dad and he acted out really bad and he was scared and he admitted it and he was doing stupid shit talking to other women online man makes mistakes as long as he’s taking care of you not abusive towards you and he is genuinely sorry work it out, or you could go through with abortion but it would be one of the most regrettable heartbreaking things you could do to yourself because you would wonder what that child would’ve been like for the rest of your life I’ve had six miscarriages And one abortion and four successful sons I still wonder till this day that one baby I got aborted would’ve been how they would’ve turned out it still breaks my heart. It’s takes two to and don’t run because you run into a hurdle this will either make you or break you.
The excuse your using to abort your baby is fckn ridiculous
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I had an abortion when I was 28. I was not in the right place to take care of a second child. That child never knew hurt or pain. I think about it a lot and wish I had been more stable or taken more precautions but I wasn’t and I didn’t. I don’t regret my decision however I did not base my decision off of a man. I based it on my ability to provide a caring and nurturing life without a man
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So you want to kill your baby just because you’re with a dumbass? Makes sense to me. Leave his stupid ass and have your child and raise her or him with love. Don’t worry about him anymore. Just because you don’t want to be with him anymore doesn’t mean you have to get rid of the baby too.
Don’t abort your baby because your partner danced with a girl… that’s not the babies fault!!!
You need to have a long and big conversation with your partner, be understanding because he may really not remember but don’t abort the baby, you will regret it later on.
You will end up thinking what a bad decision you made just because your partner danced with a girl…You will look back and wonder why you did it when you could of had a beautiful child with you.
Speaking from experience.
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Would you stay if not pregnant? Can you raise the baby? Don’t stay just for the baby. It’s your decision.
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Move to the beat of your gut instincts. . so sorry you’re going through this. I will say that bringing a baby into a home brings up some of life’s harder moments even with the best partner in the world. If it were me I would personally move on from him because I would never be able to fully trust him again. This is just my personal opinion. If it helps write how you are feeling on paper, do pros and cons and make sure whatever you decide is something that you will not regret in the future. Make sure you have a set plan - no matter what you choose. 
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He is testing your boundaries… boss up, get a job, support that little one without him dragging you down. Most men suck. If he’s going to do this now… he’ll do much worse down the road…
An abortion won’t erase the memory of what happened with him, this child didn’t do anything wrong. Do some thinking. Adoption is wonderful, and raising them even without a 
dad can be better than anything in the world. You and he need to talk, figure some things out, you’re parents.
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Dont wnd the pregnancy because of his silly actions? Its not the babies fault, he is the one in the wrong here momma
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I thought his dog a Boxer came back dirty.
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Wait, so because you may or may not have been knocked up by a dirt ball, you question continuing your pregnancy!!! Form your own conclusion to the rest of what I really wanna say.
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If you want an abortion, get one. If you don’t want an abortion, don’t get one. Make your choice, it’s not wrong either way. Choosing not to have a baby doesn’t make you a bad person and you certainly don’t need a “good enough” reason to justify it.
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My problem is with the question; ʻshould I continue with this pregnancy?’ Instead of ʻshould I continue with this relationship?’
Ummmm???
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The question shouldn’t be should you continue with the pregnancy… it should be can I continue in this relationship…
Tbh I would sit down and talk to your partner, you may want to continue the relationship and forgive him but you may never forget, and are you prepared to continue your relationship as the years go on and he goes out again always wondering and questioning his whereabouts and his movements.
I’m sure you have lots of support around you, and I’m sure you will get lots of support if you decide to leave your partner and go at it alone…
But don’t allow your partners infidelity cloud judgement on your ability to have the baby and raise it alone.
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What he has to get your permission from you to go out with his mates that’s control and you check his phone if your boyfriend had any sense he would run for his life. He probably enjoyed getting a woman’s attention for once not a dicator
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I raised three kids alone most of the time. I would never abort. They are a part of you. God helps you provide. Abortion, the baby suffers terribly then dies. Kids are a Blessing.
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Try to have an honest conversation with him about what really happened. Sit down together, face to face. Try to use neutral language terms, if he feels attacked, he will be defensive and more likely to lie. First time out in a long time, alone, with just his friends, he may have sprung too hard and was reacting to stress. But always give your partner the benefit of doubt, don’t be quick to accuse him the worst. Let him explain himself. Maybe the girl from the club was just a flirty dance, which is walking the line slimly haha(just my opinion, if that’s a hard no for you, make him understand that you do not accept that behavior) and as for the boxers, maybe he ‘relieved’ himself after all the excitement from the night out but was too drunk to clean himself up… We all have our moments, maybe try to extend him a little grace and forgiveness? I am pro-choice myself, I would probably try to keep the baby, for me, but you need to assess your mental health, your ability to take care of a baby on your own or if you have a support system and your finances to support you and this baby. It’s a difficult choice that no one, but you, can make for you.
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Please don’t end the pregnancy there’s a life growing in you and a heart that’s beating… Forget about the sperm donor that did what he did. Focus on you and that little one growing inside of you… I’m a single mom of 4 and I’m gonna be honest it’s a tough job but the most rewarding one… Sending out prayers for you and ur unborn you’ve got this momma, you are stronger then what u think you are
Get rid of your cheating boyfriend but please keep your baby.
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So anyways… Another post that reads like a broken windshield on a 1979’ Pinto. Let’s get some editors on the job how about it? 
Oh, and… Your body your choice but don’t do anything in the heat of the moment. Think it over it’s 2022’ we don’t need baby dad’s to raise kids ya know. In my experience people treated me better as a single mom than as a married woman they were always so eager to help me out or at least direct me to reliable community resources no questions asked. As a married woman the conversation always fell back to ’ Well what is your husband doing?'. Then how he obviously wasn’t doing enough. Food for thought.
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The relationship sounds very toxic and bringing a baby into it would be bad news.
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If you want to stay with or leave him and not keep it that is ok!! Do not let these pro-lifers comments brainwash you it is your life you do what you WANT to do!!
Terminating the baby is not the end of the world. It will create long ties to this man and family forever. Good luck xx
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Why terminate a blessing from God because your partner may or may not have cheated. Its not your unborn childs fault that your partner may or may not have cheated. What it sounds like to me you are scared of being a single parent… Not because of your partners actions
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He is not worth terminating a pregnancy
If you don’t trust him walk away
Sadly you can’t control him
Just because he got you pregnant.
I would talk to your family about moving back home
And have their support
If you do decide to
Keep your pregnancy and put your baby up for adoption
I’m sure there would be an adoption service near you rather then terminating your pregnancy
I’m proud choice
Ditch the bf
He is obviously not ready to be tied down yet
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I dont think he has cheated. He most likely told the girls he has a great woman at home and they purposely put lipstick on his shirt.
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YOU DONT OWE ANYONE WHO CANT HAVE KIDS YOUR BABY. Adoption isn’t the only option. If you’re already thinking you should abort the baby because your baby daddy sucks then please abort before you make that child feel unloved because you and the dad didn’t work out. You’re going to ruin that baby if you keep it because other people tell you too or because you think your relationship will work out.
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So if your bf is good enough you keep the baby, if not kill the baby? You sound like you have your priorities all jacked up. I guess maybe you should if you only love your baby if your bf acts right.
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I do believe that it’s a bit late to think about terminate after 16 weeks most doctors won’t do it because it could endanger your life. Good luck with your decision.
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The judgement on here is something else . I hope you get the answers and life you deserve . Your body your choice x
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There’s an agency called Let them live, I believe, and they will help you with whatever you need for you and your baby and even follow them through life to help them. They will help you get a place so you have somewhere to live without the baby’s dad. It’s up to you, but I would get in touch with that agency and see what they can help you with so you don’t feel like you’re doing it all on your own. My inbox is always open if you need an ear to listen or talk things through. Please just think things through. Sending prayers and good vibes, whatever you believe in 
. I always believe that Everything happens for a reason XOXO
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Do what you think is right.
People need to stop asking questions about how they should handle something on here, alot of these situations you should be talking to the significant other not fb. 
It’s either gonna be, omg so many red flags… Run. Or RUN. RED FLAG ALERT…
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I understand under “certain circumstances” to terminate baby. However, why does it come so easy to do that? Why not get rid of the POS you’re with?
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Why are there so many negative, sarcastic comments in these replies? She’s evidently young and needs advice. Hive this poor girl a break!
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If only reason u now question keeping baby bc he might cheated…not good enough reason to kill ur baby , it’s not their fault what he does , and alot ppl work out stay together after cheating… their alot women who raise kids alone just bc he might cheated on u don’t mean he going be shitty father , there alot ppl that coparent w someone who cheated on them for kids …
my advice would be to him. RUN. you are a bit of a control freak, i can check his phone, he asks for permission, your not his mum or his owner. let him be an adult and make his own mistakes. decide on whether you want to be a mother or not but dont use a baby as a weapon
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Abortion is not a form of birth control just because you have shitty taste in men:woman_shrugging:t2: Also your grammar and punctuation is that of a 7 year old! Not sorry for being mean! Ask stupid questions, get stupid answers. As someone who has had 5 miscarriages in a year, you suck.
I what say that if his boxers were not in a good state he did nothing much but dance with the girl
I don t have to live with him but two things ring bells for me
- He always asks to go out with his mates
- To drunk to hide the evidence in the boxers
He is a better man than some i would say but only you know him don t keep the rope around him to tight
If you were going out with yr girlmates would you ask him permission
Its up to you
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