So because your husband isn’t healthy you wanna go running to this other guy?! As someone whose battling MS, I say this with all venom and disgust possible. You are a wretched vile person. Karma will come for you. Ps he’s just bored and your just dumb enough to believe he wants you
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Exes are an ex for a reason!! Unless you have children together there is absolutely NO reason for you to be in contact with him still!! Do the right thing and tell your husband what has been going on, and leave. Because he deserves better. And so does this other guys wife!
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Sounds like y’all deserve each other.
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Well I’m not a bible thumper so here’s so real advice. If you do not love your husband, divorce him. But if you cannot imagine being alone then you better stay with him bc how do you know long lost love would actually leave his wife? Usually they are temporarily unhappy and just looking for an easy hookup. But if he is in love with you and you with him then do not act on any feelings until you both are divorced.
Good luck to you both.
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Shouldve never made a commitment like marriage…
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So he is married and you are married. You need to have boundaries n just cut him off initially. You need to pray for there to be love and unity in between you and your husband.
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If you had even an inkling of feelings for this other man, you shouldn’t have even stayed connected as friends (or married someone else). Work on yourself before you’re with someone else.
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Honey. If your husband was doing this you’d be livid. Don’t be a hoe. That man doesn’t love you or he’d of never married someone else and mad excuse after excuse.
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This page about to get me post blocked again so imma keep my comment to myself… wouldnt be nice neither 
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Every wife has two men in her life. Her husband… and the man of her dreams.
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Get a divorce first, if you must do this! You made a promise to your husband. What is your word worth? What is his? Bet he doesn’t get divorced. Think about this hard because you don’t know the future!
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Trying to justify your indiscretions with your husband’s illness and who knows what stories he concocted about his wife,you two deserve each other. Despicable human beings and what exactly do you seek here,support for your behavior?
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Better ur high school sweetheart should have said back then to u
that he is in love with U an he would like U to Hold on an Wait on him until he is settle somewhere steady in life for u Both to be together but instead he left u on a String with No kind of Committing words or Hope that he wants to be with u in Future even though he knew u both had feeling’s for Each other he hide those feelings from u and Now there is No excuse for him he should not have Confessed this Now because
u both are married to ur Spouses an have kids…
This is DESTROYING HIS MARRIAGE & UR MARRIAGE Wrecking both homes that has Kids in it …
That’s pure Nonsense an irresponsible of u both in Destroying ur marriages…
Sorry for his spouse & ur Spouse an kids they dont deserve this they deserve BETTER!
Hiding an Communicating with a Man outside ur Marriage this is where feeling’s develops for u having on the outside Person this PURE CHEATING !!!
Sounds like u are him will be getting a divorce from ur spouses thats Sad
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I hope your husband says
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Sounds like your 12…… your married… you can’t have a husband and be a side chick for a fantasy! He’s married and no matter what he’s told you he obviously likes being married or he wouldnt be! Seriously!
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Sounds like none of yall should of got married if you still had unresolved feelings going into a marriage with someone else.
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“I’m not a homewrecker” then don’t be that woman to break up a marriage and your own for that matter. If he never committed to you back then he isn’t gonna do it now unfortunately
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You may love him, but he does not love you. There’s lust, and there’s love. Don’t confuse the two. If you leave your husband for this man then you’re going to end up alone because I promise this man is not what you think he is.
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Should have never married your husband if you were/are in love with another man. You say you’re not trying to be a homewrecker but that’s exactly what you are doing. Do your husband a favor and divorce him so he can find someone who truly loves him.
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I have had the same situation. And now I with The man I love. If you want to DM me you can cuz I been in your shoes
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Ew you two sound like you definitely deserve each other. And the fact that you talk to him behind your husbands back in a romantic way is already cheating basically. Please leave your husband so he can find real happiness from someone who isnt unfaithful.
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The way u put it you are already having an affair. If nothing else an emotional affair. That is not fair to your sick husband or his wife. I’m not sure what u wanted from this post.
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So you want to leave your husband who can’t look after himself anymore? Even though he probably spent half his life looking after you. What a woman
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Life is complicated…human emotion even more so. You both need to leave your partners if you are either love it is not fair to them.
However, by the sounds of things it may be worth giving it shot. I hope it all works out for you all.
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Statistically men hardly ever leave their wives lol but you need to leave ur husband if you feel like u say you do! He deserves to find someone that really loves him!
Girl you’re delusional,if he loved you back then he would have married you. Dont you see that you’re just second choice?
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Wow how could you even think this way let alone post this trying to validate being a cheater? I feel sorry for your husband and his wife be a big girl and tell your husband the truth itll hurt so much less than the betrayal your currently in have some decency
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Young one - he’s the one who is home wrecking here. Your husband needs you and has always been there for you. If you chose this man from your past - you disrespect your husband and everything you’ve built together - now when he has problems you want to trade him in- I say shame on you.
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There’s a movie on Netflix about this. Currently waiting on season 2 
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You’re already a home wrecker and so is he. Y’all are having an emotional affair and in my opinion that’s worse than a physical one. You don’t know what he’s telling you about his wife is true. You don’t know anything he’s saying is true. You shouldn’t have married your husband if you were in love with someone else. And what do his health problems have ANYTHING to do with this? You’re trying to justify what you’re doing by making excuses and you look like 
while doing so.
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Sounds like he just wants an affair.
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You’ve put the thought of it on a pedestal and it doesn’t mean it will be “everything you’ve dreamed” like I’m sure many have already told you…if he’ll do it to her he’ll do it to you
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This sounds like a book I would read
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Just remember, the dog pisses the same on both sides of the fence. The grass might look greener, but the spots are still there. When it SOUNDS too good to be true, it usually is. I think leaving your husband for an attached someone would be absolutely short sighted and a disaster. You shouldn’t even consider it an option, considering he is still married. If he was actually taking steps to end his marriage, then this would have somewhere to start. However, if he is still at home, in the home, with his wife, all you know is what he tells you. You dont know what he’s leaving out and not telling you. Actions speak louder than words, here. And his, shouldn’t be enough for you to even consider leaving your husband. What you should be asking is why now. What is his intention of even saying this now? Do you REALLY want someone who is always looking back to his past when things get hard or boring?
Say you did leave your husband…you have no guarantee that he will uphold his end and leave. He could be telling his wife one thing and you another. He could not even be telling her for all you know. The best indicator of intention is their actions. If there’s nothing to back it up, he’s looking for a side piece because he’s bored with his life the way it is. He can talk a big game, but unless he’s started divorce proceedings, you need to cut contact off with him. Also, if you are unhappy in your own marriage, you have two choices: quit or work on it. To try to have both is selfish AND the exact definition of a homewrecker.
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Your poor husband and his poor wife.
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Don’t do it, the grass always looks greener on the other side, it’s not its fun now, but there’s a reason you weren’t with him all along.
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So now that your husband is sick and he needs help you’re deciding to leave him…? Do you even remember the vows you said on the day you got married??? Furthermore, talking to another man the way you are behind your husband back is already cheating.
I don’t know what you think you would’ve gotten from this post but you probably shouldn’t of asked this here
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You are an absolute IDIOT having a mid life crisis. GET HELP
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If you’re having feelings for someone other than your husband, then you don’t love your husband.
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I hope you end up with no one
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You are already having an emotional affair which is wrecking a home. Doesn’t matter if it’s physical or not.
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Oh you’re a home wrecker.
A nasty, selfish, horrible home wrecker. What’s worse is its YOUR home you’re wrecking 
So sick of cheaters. Your poor husband.
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You remind me of this 
cheers to happiness
Water your own grass and the grass won’t look so green on the other side.
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So even with you guys talking on an off before he still chose to marry someone else when he couldn’t commit to you. Then u got married.
And I’m sure he told you some bullshit story about his wife not having time for him. Right now your just a side piece cuz when he realizes what he’s losing when his wife finds out, he’s going to drop you.
The grass always looks greener doesn’t it
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The only mention of your husband in this whole post is at the end when you said he has health/cognition issues. Literally nothing else. You can do what you want, it already sounds like you made your decision. I just hope your husband finds someone that actually loves him and will help care for him.
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I kinda got the impression a man wrote that about another man. Oh well, maybe not
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Eventually the butterflies fade away and you will be bored of him like you are your husband. Sounds like you already have your mind made up to have an affair, and you’re making excuses for why it would be okay. The grass isnt always greener on the other side. Good luck !
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You took vows with your husband. You shouldn’t be entertaining any kind of friendship with someone you had such intense feelings for.
If you aren’t happy with your husband you should tell him that, but don’t let someone else be that reason you are unhappy in your marriage.
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The grass is always greener on the other side… you are fantasizing about a past relationship that didn’t work out. The what if game is fun to play- but he didn’t rise to meet your needs then… I would encourage counseling to discuss expectations and how to reconnect with the man you fell in love with and have shared a life with.
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You’re having a mid-life crisis. Believe me. Be grateful for what you have. This old flame is gonna fizzle and you’ll be left all alone.
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People always wanna go where they think life is easier … men are simple if he didn’t want u then he just miss the excitement of something different … ur husband married u he wanted u but after this he may not …
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your husband deserves better
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You are married and your husband is not well, what’s wrong with you. Stay with your husband you can never rekindle the past and you will get hurt
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Wow 
that’s fucked up
You should just leave he doesn’t deserve a unfaithful wife and karma will deal with you honey🙏🏼
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Go after him! If you don’t, you will regret it for the rest of your life. But do it the right way. Get your divorce and him get his, then u can be together. You want no regrets. For example, if he passed away, you would forever hate yourself for not being with him.
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All I’m gonna say is Karma. I believe it exists and girl it will bite you. Seen it with my own eyes.
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Go after the true love you had years ago
Things ALWAYS look better when you hold someone up on a pedestal. But things have changed. It may SEEM more romantic and what you want. But be very careful what you wish for. That saying the grass always looks greener on the other side is more of a warning.
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I find this so weird. How do you marry someone you don’t love?!
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Imagine your husband doing this to you. I mean it’s easy to say but really truly imagine it. I know you’d be crushed. Honestly honesty is always best. Tell your husband about these feelings. You never know because while you’re feeling this way your husband may be as well because you’re obviously not into your relationship. Make it right either way don’t stay stagnant
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You and this guy deserve each other because you both sound like real winners here… your both so capable of love and devotion to their significant others when the tough gets going obviously 
You need to take a step back and read this post again, because it just sounds like you want to leave your husband because of the fact he is becoming disabled and that makes you the worst kind of person, what if you were in a car wreck and he dipped? If you have children and you do this, good luck getting them to keep a relationship with you. I wouldn’t be interested in a relationship with my mother if she did this to my dad.
And the guy telling you the wife doesn’t understand him and you are the only one who does and ever did, seriously grow up if you make him feel so empowered and confident he can find his balls and leave his wife instead of sneaking around behind her back
Are you serious now he love you cause his life didn’t turn out the way he wanted to!!! Girl
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Of course you feel like you’re super in love with him, you guys were off and on when you were young, dumb, and crazy. You guys had little to no responsibilities! With your current husband it doesn’t seem so Rosey because you have a home with him, pay bills with him, work and even may have kids together. At the end of the day it’s not glamorous, it’s exhausting but that’s literally where all love stories end up! The excitement dies down after a while!
You’re most likely feeling this way because you are missing so much excitement and love in your life! You’re willing to cling onto anyone who will listen and show you any kind of attention.
In the end, It’s up to you to decide what to do with your life.
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This is emotional cheating at its finest … I’m not gonna sit here and bash you mainly because I’ve been in this situation … On both sides … It’s harmful af to all parties involved … Leave your husband if you must or cut contact off with the ex … I know it’s easier said than done but either one is gonna have to happen … And soon
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Dont do it . Stay and work out things in your marriage dont throw it away i promise you will regret it if you do.
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Keep your distance from him
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If he wanted you like he says he would have taken the chance when he had it.
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The old “his wife never makes time for him or is there for him” 
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It’s lust hun. Everyone has it, only some act on it. Don’t do it. Imagine if your husband did it to you. If you truly aren’t happy in your marriage, just leave. It’s likely his wife thinks things are great between them and he’s just playing you like a fool.
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Girl I’m in love with someone who is now taken but I respect their relationship and boundaries as he chose to be with her, there isn’t an excuse, even love, to sleep with him while he’s married or you’re married. Be honest with your husband.
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If you don’t want to be a home wrecker…. Then don’t! Imagine your husband doing this to you. Don’t be that person. If the man from your past truly loved you… he wouldn’t have let a job keep you apart.
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Your poor husband…someone married him that doesnt love him.
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Girl tell your husband u want move on n him to tell his wife the same thing that I both find a new person
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You better go home & sit down. The grass isn’t always greener & you vowed to love your husband thick & thin. You need some counseling. If you leave doors open for anyone to walk through, they will. You have no idea what his true intentions are. I would keep moving & close the door behind me. I feel so bad for your husband.
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So why marry someone else, to years later destroy them
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I know I still love the man I had to send back to his wife. He got cancer and had to carry the bag for ever. But I loved him. But he would not leave his mean wife for fear of losing his retirement and social security and everything he worked for. He used to spend more time with me then his own house. I have tryed to find him. Maybe he’ll go on Facebook and read my love again. He use to work for AT-T for many years. I call him puppy—
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He could have been with you all those years ago. He may just be bored in his life and instead of getting a hobby, he is playing with fire. If he can picture himself with another person and happier, he should consider divorce. But it has to be because his current relationship is not what he needs and not leaving his marriage because he thinks someone else may be more fun - and same for you.
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You are already cheating on your husband and he is already cheating on his wife…
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Okay, as some have mentioned this is definitely an emotional affair and not fair to either one of your spouses! What I don’t understand is why you kept a friendship with this guy, maybe my husband is different but also, I don’t keep “friendships” of those who I’ve had a romantic relationship with!!! I’d really begin to consider the implications of leaving and what a divorce may look like because at this rate, that’s where you both are headed… what debt are you taking, what house will you live in? Whose car will you drive? You mentioned your husband has health issues, how will that affect your children if you have them? Other questions to ponder, how will this affect your husband? How would you feel if you had health issues, and your husband rekindled an old flame? Why did your relationship with this guy never work out in the past? Have you resolved those issues?
Please think before you leap
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I can’t find a yellow pages from Whittier anywhere. I need a yellow pages from Whittier in the 70sand 80s
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Life is short… Do what makes you happy!!!
I know that I will prob get hate for saying that but plz hear me out before hating!!!
I was in the same situation about 6-7 years ago.
I had been with my (then) husband for 11 years and honestly… The only reason that I had not left him was bc I didn’t want our kids to come from a broken home. But neither of us were happy…I stayed faithful to him even though I KNEW that he was cheating. But I also became very cold toward him.
Then an old crush came back into my life and I really realized how unhappy I had been for YEARS. So I left my husband for the other man.
And the first few years with him was GREAT!!! My kids liked him and got along great with his kids. We got married and had a baby boy.
But the last couple of years were awful. And after sticking by his side through it all… He ended up leaving me for someone else. Our divorce just became legal this month. And I honestly can’t even be mad cause that was straight up
#KARMA
I didn’t deserve a lot of the crap that my 1st ex husband did to me but he also did not deserve to be left for someone else.
Yes, our marriage was already over but leaving to be with someone else was wrong.
So like I said… Life is short… Do what makes you happy. But also remember that karma is very real!!!
With all of that said…I do think that you should leave your husband… But only bc you clearly do not love him and he deserves better. B
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Correct me if im wrong… but you made a commitment to love a man through all aspects of life. Especially through sickness and health. If you never really loved this man you shouldn’t have married him.
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Get therapy to help you sort out your feelings. What is going on with the guy from your past—what has changed—that he feels so emboldened now and not before? How are his finances? Is he running away from something: debt, caregiving for wife or in-law, legal or criminal problems, did he get in an enormous fight with his wife & wants to run away from it, is he alcoholic and his wife wants him to quit, etc.?
I was unhappy in my marriage and my husband did not live very healthily. I divorced him knowing I would eventually be stuck being a caregiver and wouldn’t be able to escape or have fun (or sex) again.
He did wind up with debilitating health issues. I could help as best I could when he would allow it, his family rallied around him, and I could and can go out and have fun with my friends and be free to see other men. I am OK being single though I’ve been in a few relationships (some disastrous tbh).
Make your decision on divorce as though the other guy did not exist. The grass is not always greener, he could be just wanting to use you, you could both decide your idea of being together doesn’t match the reality, etc. Would you be happier with or without your husband if you took the other guy out of the equation?
That said, a housemate reconnected with an old neighborhood friend on Facebook, they began talking on the phone a lot & she says, “I’ve always loved you!” They discussed all the tough issues first, and now they are happy and celebrating their first anniversary. That said, one is black, one white, and back in the 70s that union would have been frowned upon, and they were both single for years before they reconnected.
Again, counseling to help you separate wishful thinking from reality, give you questions to ask him to peel back the layers of why now for him, and to re-evaluate your life to see what you might change to make it better outside of leaving or cheating on your marriage.
Good luck.
You don’t want to be a homewrecker yet here you are. You should have shut him down IMMEDIATELY when he disrespected your marriage with that BS. If he has problems in his marriage he needs to either work it out or be gone. Same with you.
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It sounds like you’re making a lot of excuses to make yourself feel better about confiding in a man other than your husband. Your husband has cognitive issues and instead of supporting him, you’re spending hours flirting with someone else. Your husband deserves better
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I say love concours all. In a miserable marriage myself and fixing to leave him. Follow your heart. Nevermind the debbie downers. You do you. Just be gentle hearts are fragile.
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Girl you are being used and abused because he knows your story now is his time to make you a fish he knows what you are looking for and dangling the bait for you think twice about you future first is this the love you want or need
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Don’t be a home wrecker if you don’t want to and leave someone else’s marriage alone. This is just frustrating. If you can’t 100% be in your marriage without being “soooo” in love with someone else, leave. People deserve better.
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I feel bad for your husband you did NOT TAKE your own wedding vows seriously 
. You don’t want to be a homewrecker ? Girl you already are. Husband deserves to hear this BS
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I’m sorry… But you chose your husband, married him, and said “for better or worse”… And now he has health issues, you are ready to jump ship? Nawww… Hes been there for you, right? I think he deserves better. I think you had an opportunity a long time ago. And now hes unhappy, and you’re ready to be the rebound and jump on in. Let me tell you, you can think you know someone, but you don’t know someone until you live with them. It might sound awesome right now, but a relationship is work, and if you jump quick, and he looks for someone to save him when hes miserable, hows that gonna work? Think you’re different and that wont happen to you? You arent. If it can happen to his wife, it can happen to you… Sex is sex is sex. But when you say i do, you say it through good times and bad. It means something. Feed your own yard and it will grow.
Lol… Just lol to all of it…
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I actually kinda feel for OP. Life isn’t black & white for some people, there’s a lot of grey area & they’ve somehow come to a place where they’re in love with 2 different people. It’s not unheard of. I just feel sad bc I would be hurt if I was your husband, but also it’s pretty tragic that this other guy is the love of your life & the timing has just never been right for the 2 of you. I don’t really see anyone ending up happy in the end of this situation. I have no real advice that would make everyone’s lives happier or easier.
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Sooo this is probably a time when YOUR HUSBAND, the man you swore your loyalty to… needs you the most - mental health issues and loss of cognition… but look at you…
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If you in love with someone else set your husband free because obviously you don’t love him
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Sounds like a crock of crap, and you’re a rebound after million years of “no”. He’s only talking to you because you’re the only one who will follow him around, and he can’t get anyone else where he is, and both of you are married 
just say Nope maybe in yalls next life or something. If he actually wanted to be with you he would’ve years ago…that train derailed years ago Js
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Just because you havnt had relations doesnt mean your not cheating…you should both just split and get together, both of your spouces deserve better
He’s bored with his wife and playing with you. If he wasnt happy where he is, he would have left. Dont be the stupid broad that messes up her marriage and his. He had all those years to be with you, but her choose not to.
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