During college I was so in love with a guy and we dated on and off. Even when we were off were on. I thought he loved me but he did not freely open up about his emotions. After college, he finally got a job after being turned down for over a year but moved out of state. He kept up with me but declined a relationship because he was scared where he would end up having to move to. After many years, he ended up marrying someone. I married someone. I resolved with just being friends things were good. Then the day came and out of the blue he drops those three words that you long to hear. However, the tense of the words was present tense not past. I shrugged off and said I know that you love me, friend. He said No, I have always loved you and still do ! You could have knocked me over with a feather. The words I have wanted to hear for so long and given up because the past is the past. My heart stopped beating and I instantly started thinking about the past and how he always makes feel when we are together and the passion we share. I have seen him and the chemistry and passion is still there. After all these years, it is still so easy to talk and be with each. We laugh , share jokes, help each other with present life situations, vent and just talk for hours. He has always been my go to when the world is not kind. My husband has suffered many health issues and has suffered loss of cognition. His wife never makes time for him and she is not there for him. I am not a home wrecker and donât want to be but we still sooooi in love. It is so frustrating to be in love with someone you canât have.
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. I'm married and in love with another man - Mamas Uncut
i think both of you should just file for a divorce lol its simple
You canât help loving someone, but itâs only right to be fair & divorce prior to continuing the relationship with the other man.
Infatuation is dangerous. Leaving a husband for what you think you want is dangerous. You are both different now.
I was going to say divorce if youâre really in love with this person. But man I canât help but feel for your husband. âLoss of cognitionâ youâre only attracted to someone else because this person is healthy. What if your husband were 100% healthy? Would you still pursue talking to this person?
Divorce your husband first if thatâs the case.
Grass isnât always greener on the other side and you should have never gotten married if you were always emotionally invested and hung up on someone else
dang, leave your husband when heâs down 
canât respect it
Time to file for a divorce that is just straight wrong to do your husband like that put yourself in his shoes and ask yourself would I be ok with this if the tables were turned
Wow⌠Obviously you forgot what your Vows were. Put yourself in his shoes and pretend roles were reversed. How would you feel if he did this to you? Obviously you need to sit down with your HUSBAND and have a talk and probably Marriage Counseling. Sounds like youâre digging yourself a hole there. Drop the other Man because he is Married. But if you really want to go that route. Divorce your Husband and make sure the other Man divorces his Wife. Hopefully no kids are involved on either side.
That man does not really love you. If he did, he wouldâve snatched you up when he had the opportunity. Chances are, his relationship is failing and heâs leaning to you for emotional support and hoping he can get more from you by telling you what youâve always wanted to hear. Gaslighting at its finest. You should try to make peace with what was and close that door for good.
Do you love your husband?! Or Stop because he started to decline? I mean you canât help feeling how you feel but stop to think of him for a minute. You married him in sickness and health. Kinda says what kind of person you are if that is the case. You need to put yourself in your husbands shoes and for heaven sake DONT CHEAT. You need to look within yourself and remember the grass is not always greener and you never truly know someone until you live with them. Thatâs when they show their true colors.
So I actually had a health concern that I wanted support for and I submitted it a week ago dkdnt go through. but bs like this goes through?
How did you say I DO while loving another man? Seems like your just wanting green grass 
Make sure you sure you arenât just obsessed with him and that itâs also not the idea of being with him that you are in love with
For better or worse thru sickness and healthâŚthose are common vows said and you wouldnât be honoring it âŚbut thatâs just me .I hate to be this person but being a married woman my self I couldnât fathom a spouse doing this .
Unfortunately he can easily be playing you. Some men want their cake and to eat it too. But the fact you are not âin loveâ with your husband enough to not mingle else where, says itâs divorce time. You stringing him along is horrible.
wowâŚive always believed in the whole âif u love them let them go, if they come back its meant to be or however it goes. i dont see how u could love another honestly, i have recently put my mother (69) in a nursing home for severe dementia. We moved her quite aways away because none of the nursing homes near us had locked door facilities. anyway my dad talks to my mom for 30 min a day, i have to listen to him sob anout how bad he misses her, how he wants her back with him, he wants to be husband and wife again. He will never give up on her, i dont see how anyone could say goodbye if u really loved ur spouse or so 
If he loved you, he would have told you alot earlier. Gaslighting at its best. Also I feel for your husband. I to suffer with many medical issues and my husband is my rock. Your husband deserves better.
Seems like you watched sex life a few too time .
I feel like this is a lower level of âsex lifeâ
Girl if he loved you he wouldâve said that years ago.
If he wanted you that badly, he would have told you and did whatever he had to to be with you.
Maybe u both are unhappy in marriages XXX
Think u both need to sort out Ur own marriages and see if they can be fix with a bit off work and understanding XXX because u both may fine u both going to one mate u laugh and have fun with u both donât have the stress off life and married life stress together xxxx u both need to really stop and think xxxx
He is using you as a second choice.
I feel bad for your husband, your a piece of work, a piece of something! 
You can have him. Just get divorced.
You need to back tf up. Let him handle his business first, and if your husband isnât your priority then you should handle yours too.
Funny how you both get it each other and itâs oh sooo butterflies but both your partners have issues or not attentive to you, sounds like you both looking for excuses to justify to cheat or be together by blaming it on your partners.
Meanwhile his wife is probably at home doing all the work to keep his family together and thriving. Donât give into this BS as many have said⌠oh he feels this way now right⌠but he couldnât tell you years ago because??? Just red flags everywhere!
Didnât read it all. Leave him. He deserves better than you.
There is a saying in my country⌠Do Not Trouble. TROUBLE. stand clear my dearâŚ
Sickness and in health. I feel bad for your husband.
Grass is always greener or so they say
His wife is making him feel neglected so instead of communicating with her heâs leading you on as a side piece because he knows youâre his âfall back girlâ. My advice, you should focus on your marriage and decide whether you want to be with your husband or not and if not get a divorce. Regardless you should block this guy because heâs nothing but trouble and youâre falling for it.
This is so fucking cringeworthy.
So much for the through sickness and health vows lol I guess u both divorce your spouses and then move forward. I myself would never marry anyone if I was in love with a previous boyfriend and couldnt get over him.
Itâs til death do us part. Take care of your husband
Sweetie youâre in love with a memory. Go home and embrace the man youâre been blessed to have in you life.
This guy didnât love you enough then to make that commitment. It sounds like sunshine and rainbows but the reality could be a lot different if you were to be together. Stop communicating with him and move on from him once and for all.
It sounds like you are in love with the thought of love. You have been put through hell with your husbands health. But you said in your vows in sickness and in health. So you need to decide whether this âloveâ is worth throwing your marriage away.
Sounds like you both deserve each other to me.
Your husband deserves someone who will truly love him.
I feel so sorry for your husband and his wife.
If you love him, let him go. Iâd give the same advice to him too. Theres a reason why you guys never ended up together in the past. Youâre both married, maybe both unhappy, but that cannot be solved when your feelings are fixtated on someone else. X
Oh poor fella, my wife doesnât understand me . Same old BS. Heâs a married man! I feel bad for your poor husband . Just sad
Youâre both disgusting humans. I hope your spouses find out and leave you both.
Youâre a loser and I feel bad for both of your partners . Sleep well when he donât want you and your partner finds out and leaves. You deserve it.
Uh yeah, youâre a home wrecker. Youâre falling for someone who long ago denied you. You wouldnât have entertained this man if you truly loved your husband. There is no excuse to cheat, NONE, and the fact that youâre at the point where feelings are being admitted with your âfriendâ means youâre already cheating.
Remember the grass isnt always greener on the other side, but also keep in mind that your happiness matters and I say you only live once! Your feelings matter and if this man makes you happy go for it, but be a decent wife, woman, and person about it the both of you! I think if you ask him to leave his wife thingsâŚmay not be what you think, but I do not know this man!
ok turn it around how would u feel if it was ur husband cheating on you. If the man is cheating on his wife with u hes gonna cheat on you too. its wrong. Id break open tell ur husband and maybe he will forgive u or maybe not either way u cant keep going on this way.
Why get married if he loves you⌠why get married when you clearly still love this guy⌠This is a mess. Now I know it was probably not expected at all but if you guys want to go further with this you need to leave your spouses now. Donât play games around them.
I didnât read it, not worth my time . Stop asking strangers what you should do. Leave or honor your marriage. Why would you ask strangers, about something so private?..that is whats weird to me, this happens 24/7âŚbe right or get gone, attention much?
Wow your husband deserves wayyyyy better than you.
That college crush doesnât love you cuz if he did he would be with you right now. You both arenât happy in your current relationship, so what makes you think you both will be happy with each other. It will be fun for 6 months then go down hill. You both need to grow up and stop living in the past. I feel sorry for you husband and his wife. You are a piece of shit cuz now you want to leave your hubby now cuz heâs sick. Garage human being
Heâs unhappy now and is trying to see if the grass is greener on the other side. Heâs the one who couldnât commit, he married someone else. Love the one you with. Donât ruin it all for maybe. You even stated that you guys were always on and off.
Tell him to try again when divorced
Sounds like you both need to get divorced.
Some people are just cruel. She is asking for support not to be torn down anymore. She is only human just like the rest of you.
Feelings and emotions are real regardless of timing. She hasnât âactedâ on anything. Be kind or be quiet jeez!!
I been in your spot trust me not worth messing with I learned this the hard way! I have to live with it every day the past is the past for a reason
I am older and I am a firm believer in doing what makes you happy. I will NEVER EVER live for someone else again. That being said⌠cheating is wrong so put on your big girl panties and get a divorce if youâre not happy
I wonder how your current hubby would feel if he knew that you were hanging out with another man you are in love with⌠
. If I was him Iâd be leaving you. Do him a favor and leave!
I didnât even read a quarter of a way through before I knew I had no sympathy. So youâre in love with another man?
Hereâs where you start-
Divorce your husband cause he deserves better & then go on doing whatever it is you seem to want to validate yourself for doingâŚ
This is gross. If youâre not happy leave. Iâm sure your husband would rather know then be strung along. Same for his wife.
Polyamory is a valid relationship style. But that would involve both of you being honest and open with your current partnersâŚwhich youâre not right now. This is cheating. Youâre allowed to want both. That is valid. But it is not ethical to lie and cheat so donât do that. Do lots of research on polyamory and discuss it with your husband. Keep in mind that your marriage was built on certain terms and what you are proposing is a change in relationship style that he does not have to be ok with. But honesty gives him the chance to transition or walk away.
Why he only love you now when youâre both married to other people? He sounds like someone who canât commit and you sound like youâre easily falling for his BS.
P.S. - both of your spouses deserve better
Honor your marriage to the man that knew what he wanted in a timely fashion
This is stupid. Of course youâre a home wrecker. Youâre wrecking your own home & his. You kept talking to him even after he got married! You should have respected the boundaries of your marriage & his, shame on you! And shame on him too! Pair of shameless fools 
You guys arenât even the same people you were all those years back . Leave it alone . Get therapy .
The grass is never greener on the other side if he loved you like he said he did he would have stepped up then before you were married I think he only wants you because he âcanâtâ have you now. He would have tried harder if he loved you back then.
You have to choose & I speak from experience.
Itâs been said before that you cannot truly love more than one person at a time & thatâs simply not true.
I loved both, but I loved Matt more than my hubby Patrick.
I made mistakes. I cheated, for yearsâŚuntil Matt was diagnosed with terminal cancer.
I divorced immediately. I married Matt. I didnât need marriage again, but he was Christian & I supported his beliefs.
He died 6 weeks after we wed.
Not a day goes by that I donât wonder how much more time weâd have had together if Iâd only gotten the courage to leave sooner. That never goes away.
Choose. For your sake & the sake of all those you love.
Everything that cannot be had is âperfectâ, do not believe what he tells you about his wife, I think he tells you to keep you hooked and it seems very low of him to tell you the problems with his partner, which may not be true , possibly if they divorced their partners and remarried, their relationship would be a complete disaster, because it would be based on fantasy, not on the reality that maintaining a relationship implies.
Wow another horrible person who would rather hurt marriages than just leave them what a shock
Yâall are homewreckers. Both of yâall owe your spouses a discussion. Yâall need to tell them that yâall are cheating on them. Cheating is never ok. It ruins the other person for life. They will spend the rest of there life having a hard time trusting the one that they are with because of something that wasnât even there fault. His wife not being there for him is a piss poor reason to emotionally cheat⌠hopefully you are there for him all the time or you know what will happen.
If youâre in love with another man, you were never in love with your husband in the first place. Leave him so he can find unconditional love.
Wauw, have any of you ever considered the possibility of loving multiple people? Seeing as her husband has multiple health issues he may not be able to fullfill all of her emotional/physical needs. That doesnât mean she doesnât love him. Some people consider an open marriage or polyamory for this very reason. It doesnât mean you have to throw your entire marriage away. Either way its needs to be communicated about honestly and openly. Yes maybe the guy from the past is using her as the âfall back girlâ. But he might also be sincere. Either way we shouldnât judge someone whoâs trying to be vulnerable.
Whatâs more frustrating is the fact that you knew your feelings for this man, yet chose to continue to hang on to him even after youâve committed your life to another man. Youâve raved about this guy, but only referred to your husband as having cognitive problems. You never should have carried on having any kind of relationship with this guy. Itâs so wrong and cruel to do this to your husband. Youâve been having an affair even if you havenât gotten physical with him. Youâve already cheated. Your husband should be the only man you say these things about. He is a fantasy, a distraction from the routine and maybe even boring life you have with your husband. You married this man for a reason and you owe it to him, and yourself, to try and salvage your marriage. The ex is not important. You need to let go of that fantasy life youâre envisioning.
You are a home wrecker. Because youâre not a carpenter
Howâs about that polyamory then
Go on and leave your husband stop using him as a back up. Then see if your love will leave his wife. I can almost guarantee he wonât.
Personally, I wouldnât even have connected back with him. Youâre walking a thin line.
His wife and your husband deserve better
I have that same problem
Wow you copied that straight from Sex/Life on Netflix
Green is not alway greener on other side of fence think before you act
Are you sure itâs not lust?
Is this the new season of sex lifeâ:thinking:
if you love two people at the same time, choose the second. Because if you really loved the first one, you wouldnât have fallen for the second.
So, youâre using your currents husbandâs health issues as an excuse to fall for an ex? Didnât your marriage vows say âin sickness and in healthâ, or was their fine print that said âunless my ex comes back into the pictureâ? Youâre absolutely disgusting.
I think itâs weird that u are claiming to not be a home wrecker but ur talking to a man outside of your marriage (wrecking ur own home) and know heâs a married man (accomplice in wrecking his home). You both need to quit. Itâs awful what you both are doing.
U can divorce then u can have him
Your spouse deserves better. You should leave him so he can find it.
I just feel sorry for your husband, and his wife.
You made ur vows to one man and u lust after another u are not doing what god intended in your heart if u lust after this man then in gods eyes you have already committed that sin lay in the bed u have made pray and god will turn ur marriage around for you
God will never send you another womanâs husband!
Know that situation in my far past. I chose and it was best decision. 4 kids and 5 grandchildren later. Good luck and only you know the answer you are looking for. If you choose him, make sure he ends his relationship also
Forget that other man. You may end up losing him as well as your husband and be all alone. You made a promise to your husband, keep it.
Your Husband does not deserve this! Leave him! Regardless if you end up with your ex or not leave your Husband to find someone who only has eyes for him!
How sad âŚ
Sometimes itâs what you said, heâs a best friend. Love my husband dearly, but I canât share with him like I can with a best friend
âHis wife never makes time for him and she is not there for himâŚâ famous words from a man who had no intentions of an honest future relationship. This woman is probably living in the dark and thinks she and her husband are happily married. Donât be that person.