I think you need to spend sometime alone and, reconsider what you want for your life.
If you leave your marriage, it doesn’t mean he’s going to end his and vice versa.
If you are not happy in your marriage leave. If you are happy continue.
However, I would advise you not to destroy your marriage. And swap for something that you don’t know if it’s Real.
If you were both single, I would say go ahead and fight. But it’s not the case, you are both married and if you persue this it will end in hurting other people (besides your spouses).
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Stop making you’re husband a back up you’re just holding him back from finding a women too love him & him only.
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I’m not able to say what I’m actually thinking because I’m on the verge of being banned again but WOW I feel bad for both y’alls spouses 
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In hs 33 years ago i was best friends with a boy i loved. We never dated. Almost 10 years ago i found him on facebook. We were both divorced! Been married 6 years now.
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Note to all respondents: her husband is not just “ill.” He is in cognitive decline which will involve her caring for him the rest of her life, basically giving up her life for his. Is husband even now capable of understanding a divorce, and would his signature on divorce papers be valid? She will have to put up with washing him, toileting him or changing diapers (or worse, playing with feces and getting them all over), dealing with likely combativeness (and he’s probably strong enough to cause a lot of physical harm) out of the blue, never having intimacy again or hearing any kind words, having to manage multiple medications for him the rest of her life, and having to wrestle an uncooperative man into a car to get to doctor appointments or physical therapy. If he has a strong heart, he could live well over a decade.
Being this type of caregiver for someone who only gets worse, and is basically giving up the rest of your own life. Care homes now cost about $10,000 a month. Even with Medicare the decent ones require a lot out of pocket and those that aren’t decent will make you sad. So don’t be too judgmental of her in the “sickness and health” part unless you have lived her situation.
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Your husband is sick and this is how you are treating him… you don’t know what love is… you and that guy are weak people and karma will handle that🤙
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Pretty sure this was pulled from the back-cover blurb of a romance novel.
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You’re cheating, the cheating began with the conversations behind your partner’s backs,I’d be devastated if my husband was talking bad about me to an ex.
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If you are willing to leave one person for another you will do again
Talk about a horrible wife.
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Don’t let anyone that isn’t walking in your shoes tell you how to tie your shoelaces.
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I feel so bad for your spouses. Spending lives with partners as 2nd choices. If you love each other move on together. If you don’t want to do that stop talking.
Love is not an excuse to be cruel. It’s not an excuse to use spouses and don’t try and make them the burdens. You 2 are the real burdens.
Grow up
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U sound like u dont wanna bother with the sickness and in health part of ur vows u took. Ur selfish. Hopefully ut husband fines a loving person to care for him
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I guess I typed a lot XD I’ve been in your spot and have a good outcome. Pm me and I’ll share my story.
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You will reap what you sow just remember that
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Get help to work this out
You need to be there for your husband!!! and you should never have gone to see him! Glad I’m not married to you. Your poor husband.
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Stop being a lying cheater and divorce your husband, he deserves better
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I hope there aren’t children involved😬
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“I don’t wanna be a home wrecker”…bish you already are!! You are emotionally cheating on your husband. If the shoe was on the other foot, would you be ok with your husband acting upon his “long lost feelings?” I don’t think so. It doesn’t matter if your husband is ill, the very least you can do for that poor man at this point is leave. But just remember, the grass isn’t greener on the other side. Water the grass on your side and it wouldn’t be dead. If that other man wanted you, he would have made it happen a long time ago. You’re just another thing to play with until he gets bored again.
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You married for better or for worse wtf is wrong with you. Unbelievable your husbands health is bad and you are messing around. Unbelievable i hope he takes you for everything including spousal support.
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If he had really loved you he wouldn’t have declined a relationship because he was worried he might have to move someday. And if you truly loved him, you would have said, I’ll move with you.
Don’t ruin 4 peoples lives because you have rose colored glasses over the past.
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The past is the past for a reason. I have been where you are and trust me nothing good comes from going backwards. It didn’t work for a reason and no matter how much you still feel, you can’t unring the Bell. You can’t get back what was lost. Choose the guy that knew he loved you and wanted you, not the guy that didn’t know what he wanted.
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Karma is a bitch and she comes back ten fold, you both will get what’s coming especially in the next coming months…
No one can answer this for you. You no in your heart what will make you happy, so do that
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I’m going to be the minority opinion. This man has been your friend for a very long time. You both married other people probably knowing that you were in love with each other but never said so. I’m guessing your husband knows of this other man as your friend since you’ve been friends for so long. Talk to your husband. Take care of your husband. But you still need to be able to live. If your husband was not sick would you divorce him? Do you only want to be with the other man because your husband is sick? If your husband passed away would this man leave his wife for you? Is it the idea (almost like fairytale of course when others aren’t involved) of being with this man because it’s what you have always wanted? There are things that only you can answer and you need to think long and hard about the effects it may have on everyone, especially if children are involved (whether young or adult children). The other man needs to figure out if he is willing to leave his wife. You both need to make decisions before you move on. You can’t live your life for other people. You have to find true happiness.
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Wow that’s so not fair to your husband. And because he is ill you’re going to just drop him? What about in sickness and in health. Rough the least you can do is give him a divorce instead of being secretly in love with someone else.
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I feel bad for your spouses. You should’ve cut things off with this man as soon as you became involved with someone else much less married!!. Yall are both married!!! Yall are both terrible people. Divorce yalls partners then talk. What yall are doing is what I consider cheating in my book. 
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I know you longed for him to love you the way you wanted but given your circumstances I think you guys should be apart from one another. You’re both married, who knows if the love will be real if you both leave your spouses. I’m not going to call you nasty names or belittle you like most the comments on this post. If you’re both miserable then leave your spouses and make a life together but do not go behind their backs. That will create problems. I suggest maybe talk with a therapist get it all out and see if it is right for you to do. Maybe it is fine ally your guys’ chance but look at the bigger picture, will it last or will he be hot and cold again. Personally I don’t give any past relationships a second chance because it wasn’t meant to be for a reason. But all in all its ultimately up to you.
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If he didn’t love you then, he doesn’t now. If he left then, he will leave now. If you want to give up what you have now, that’s on you, but leave your husband FIRST. And if it goes sour, don’t go trying to crawl back to him.
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Sounds like you’re already being a homewrecker. Two homes in fact
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I don’t think you need to persuade yourself into this relationship. If your so in love tell your partner and his. And then see about pursuing each other.
It won’t end the way you think.
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You are going to have to leave then. It’s not fair on your husband if you have those feelings for another man. It’s normal to wonder what it would be like with someone else, but it’s not always going to be better. Think about when you and your husband first fell in love and what that was like. Do you really want to throw that all away because of a what if with the other guy? If he wanted you he would have been with you from the beginning.
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So I must say I was in this position except I was married and he was not. I truly did move on until my ex became emotionally abusive. I tried to work through it with him but in the end it wasn’t worth it and I realized my heart truly belonged to the man I fell in love with at college. However, I told the man from college I needed to decide if I wanted to be with my husband and try to make things work through counseling first. I told him not to contact me at all and if I chose divorce I would reach out. It wasn’t a choice between one guy over the other. It was a choice of do I stay married to a man that treated me like dirt, was cruel, and didn’t support me or his children financially. Ultimately I chose to leave. Once the divorce was final I reached out to the man from college fully prepared to move on if he said I lost my chance or if he found someone new. All he said was it is about time. I’ve been waiting for you. Sometimes you meet the love of your life and it’s just wrong timing. If they truly feel that they belong together they need to be honest with themselves and their partners. I think the part that makes people cringe is that he is sick. But I don’t think she wants to leave because he is sick. I think she wants to leave because she isn’t happy in her marriage. Should she stay with him just because he is sick? That doesn’t seem fair to either one of them either. 
Regardless she needs to decide what she wants for her marriage first and foremost. She has to put her immediate family first and then once that is decided continue down whichever chosen path and not look back.
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You both need to divorce your spouses . Then you can proceed with a relationship. It’s the only fair thing for your spouses.
lose that “friends” number! Why the heck did you even get married to someone knowing that you had feelings for another person! Shame on you! You’re husband needs you more than ever especially having medical issues.
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Looking to have his cake and eat it… And u madam should be ashamed of yourself!!! Set your husband free he deserves to be better treated… If this was a man posting this he would be absolutely savaged … All that’s going to happen here is you are going to end up ALONE AND MISERABLE…and rightly so too!!
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Leave that poor man you are with and go ruin your own life chasing a married man don’t play with your husband’s heart like that just go.
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Wow… my heart hurts for your husband and this other guys wife… would you honestly want someone who tells you he loves you behind his wife’s back knowing you’re married?
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You should go be with him.
You only know what he wants you to know about his wife, and you have clearly already checked out of your own marriage, so go be with ol boy.
Let your husband find someone who really loves and is devoted to him.
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Fantasy is never the same as reality. Think about what happens if yall throw your lives to the wind to be together. How messy does that look? He gets to see his kids every other weekend, your kids may not be able to see their dad who is ill often. Fantasy is where you are remembering the past yolall had… this is the past and yall are not those same carefree people anymore. There was a reason yall may have been on and off for a while and it may have been hot and passionate, but relationships have challenges regardless of who they are with. The grass is greener where you water it.
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You want to play out what could have been but this guy has a history of not committing. And now he’s married and still obviously having those issues. Should have left him in the dust during college. Cut ties with him, and focus on your marriage.
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You both knew you couldn’t have each other when you started this again! Why are you doing this to yourself? Why are you doing this to your family’s when you know it could never go anywhere?
I would think long and hard. Loving someone is something you have to work on everyday.
If you leave your husband (who is I’ll no less) for someone else, you can bet you will have regrets, and I mean many. You will not ever forgive yourself, unless you just don’t care.
You’re sneaking around behind your spouse and his spouse. It will end badly.
What makes you think he’s telling you the truth now? I’ve been in this situation, it will not end the way you think! I’ve been divorced from my first husband for 35 years, I still have regrets and that guy I left him for? Player, with a capital P, and I was stupid and fell for it. He didn’t love me, I doubt he even cared for me at all.
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Don’t leave. He missed his chance. Something is wrong in his marriage and he needs a safety net. In my humble opinion
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Your poor husband. You’re having a emotional affair because he has health issues, I guess in sickness and health don’t mean anything right? You made a VOW to love him, leave him or leave your “ friend” alone ! People who do things like this are SO damaging! You don’t get how bad it hurts cause of the selfishness
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God will never send you a married man. There is a book called Ethan Frome. You should read it. Seriously it’s your life in a nutshell.
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Leave and don’t look back, Everyone in this situation deserves better than you or your boyfriend are giving. Shame
He didn’t want a relationship back then because of not knowing where he would have to move to, so yall go your separate ways, marry other people, create this whole life with said people, just to come back to “try again” with each other??? Sounds messy, but you are your own woman and are gonna do what you want.
But if you do decide to just go for it, do it quickly. You’re already emotionally cheating on your husband, so as much as it would probably hurt him to hear you want a divorce, I think finding out the woman you’ve loved all this time that’s pining after someone in the past and has been growing closer and closer to each other would hurt him even more.
You cannot know that you are in love with him or he with you until you are both single. Until then, you guys are really just medicating yourselves with each other.
If you don’t want to be with your husband anymore, then end that. And don’t hook up with a married man because, a) women have to look B out for one another, and you don’t want to be that girl; and b) they never leave their wives. You’ll respect yourself so much more in the long run.
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What’s the point in marrying someone if you’re willing to entertain feelings like this?
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Normally I’m pretty nice on fb posts but I’d have to agree, your husband definitely deserves better, so with that said … get a divorce. You’ll quickly learn this was a very big mistake and if you do find yourself in a relationship with this man, it won’t last.
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That is so wrong in God eyes, be careful God is watching.
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Huhuh hell nah.
In 5 years youre gonna be the “boring wife who doesnt care about him” for another woman.
Mark my words.
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Is he in love with you or just love you there is a difference.
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Your not in love with him! Your in love with what could have been!!! You married your husband for sickness and in health, this is SICKNESS, BE THERE FOR HIM!!! Your don’t know the REAL story behind your “friends” marriage only his side. Maybe he just thinks the grass is greener on the other side… you didn’t marry your husband on the condition to only love him till your ex came back, you married him for life. He doesn’t mistreat you etc. grow up, your not a teenager!!! Get the fantasy out of your head. Stop talking if you have to and put your marriage first. If you don’t want to be a home wrecker then don’t be! If this was to happen to you, you’d be screaming and crying and saying how hard done by you were and calling him all the names under the sun but because it’s you, you seem to think it’s ok. Well it’s NOT. Go home!! Be a good human being!!! I don’t want to say any more cause it won’t be nice
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This man hasn’t wanted you for years. He’s just saying what you want to hear. You’re his second choice , a piece on the side . Know your worth .
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Why the hell would you marry someone you weren’t in love with
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Wow lady! You’re his second choice, his back up! He wants what he’s not getting at the moment. You only know what he tells you but that may not be the case. But you know what, karma will get you. Tread carefully because you might be left alone without either one. Good luck.
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He probably is just having a rough time w: his wife & wants some excitement in his life. Girl stop that man doesn’t really want you. He’s bored.
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You only get to live once, but it seems to me you’re better off as friends. This guy waited how many years to come forward? I think he has his own issues and looking back. I’d recommend staying friends. But you know better of truth more then any opinions here.
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Need to get your head out of your a$$ and into your marriage.
I’m just here for the comments.
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If this is for real, and sounds like it could be, then you and him need to make a plan. For me, same thing. My marriage was over in my mind for 2 years (at least) and I knew a guy friend who just felt perfect. We made a plan for me to end my marriage (at a time of my choosing, when I felt it was right, etc) and we dated discretely for a while after. It may sound bad or whatever to some people and thays fine. But when you know you love someone you just have to go for it. We’ve been together a long time and I have never looked back. Just be happy, life is short.
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Oh wait… he finally feels like choosing you and you’re ok with it? I feel bad for your husband. You totally deserve whatever your college crush gives you. Leave your husband as least. He deserves better. Maybe introduce him to your crush’s wife. She needs a good person too.
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It sounds like he wants you to be his side piece. He’s missing what he once had with his wife and you’re missing what you had with your husband. Both the wife, and your husband don’t deserve to have the two of you in cahoots behind their backs. Both of you need to make a decision or two innocent parties are going to be hurt in the end.
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You made a commitment, a promise, a vow. Honor that vow. Marriage is a choice and sometimes it’s hard but think of how you’d feel if the roles were reversed.
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Just do whatever the hell you want, but be a G.C and let the other person know 
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Why can’t you have him. Leave your husband and he leave his wife. Voila! Problem solved.
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Girl I feel you my best friend and I love each other n want to be together but our times have never lined up we still talk he is somewhat married n I’m single it usually always went like that . I love a guy a can’t have. I have no advice except keep in contact and if ur times line up then go for it other than that respect the releationships ur in and if y’all ain’t happy get divorces
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SMH your a idt. He is married leave him the **** alone and don’t be a home wrecking w**** and tell your husband the truth because he deserves someone that loves him and not h
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You love what could have been hun. You are in love with that carefree lifestyle you had with him in college. You both are grown now it would be different. As far as his wife goes im quite sure there is more to that story then you know. He could be an awful husband you dont live there behind the closed doors. And it honestly sounds like you are giving up on your husband because of his health issues. If that is the case get out and leave your husband alone. He deserves better. And stop having contact with him. Hes a married man.
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Lol.my wife doesn’t blah blah blah my husband blah blah blah if he loved you he would of said it then he probably wants side sex we won’t leave his wife do either of you remember the for better or worse sickness and health to death do you part
Hahaha if he loved you then he would of made it work with you and now he’s not getting what it is from his wife he loves you and always has lol your being played… or if it is love be honest break up with your spouses and live happily ever after until you don’t give him the attention he need and he’s to the next one
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She deserves my husband lying cheating kid have outside or marriage ass . They seem perfect for one another
Leave your husband, he leaves his wife, get together. Simple. It’s messed up tho but very very simple
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The best thing you can both do is to be open and honest to your spouses and go from there. I truly believe you don’t choose who you love. But sometimes the timing is wrong. Either way, no matter what, people are going to get hurt in this situation. You have the power to choose who.
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Your husband deserves better… either stop talking to this man and quit disrespecting your husband or leave your husband and go be with the other man. Either way choose one and stop playing
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Married men don’t tell other married women that they love them. Red flags. Run awaayyyy
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Bishes always be looking for something better when they have something good. Do what you please, but ditch the husband. He deserves better.
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You two are just out here wasting good peoples time….keep on and watch you get played
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Do what you want and what’s best for you. Everyone can morally shame you, but it’s your life and you only get one. Live it and be happy. Also the sooner you leave your spouses, the more time they may have to find someone who loves them fully.
It will hurt, but do it if you must.
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Stop judging other people… Feelings are terrible things to deal with sometimes… It might be beyond your control and this hurts…
I think the mean commenters are not living I reality. REALITY is that love is complex, relationships are complex , and if you no longer want to be in your marriage and him like wise then get out. Don’t let things get all crazy between the 2 of you if you both are not committed to leaving your current spouse. The less you hurt your partners the better you will feel going forward . I reserve judgement always as no one knows what it’s like to walk I your shoes . Good luck!
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You are in love with a fantasy. Nothing is there. The good old memory years are gone. Let them stay gone. If you want to divorce your husband then do so. But for Hod sakes, find you a man who is not a player and mive on with your life.
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This sounds like it’s written by a naive teenage girl
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You’re absolutely disgusting 
what kind of person leaves their sick husband …
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Some people don’t deserve happiness
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This is an absolutely toxic situation. You need to leave both of these men alone. Your husband deserves a wife who loves only him and you are being a homewrecker carrying on with another woman’s husband. Understand I’m not judging or condemning you but you need to hear the truth. Something’s wrong with you internally that you can both marry a man when you still have feelings for another and carry on with another woman’s husband. You need to stop having romantic relationships altogether until you figure out what that is and fix it, or you will continue to leave a path of human wreckage in your wake, with you being both the cause as well as one of the casualties. Do this for yourself as well as others. You deserve better than this as well.
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You could literally both have each other. It’s very simple.
Murray or Jerry show for help
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First of all… you both need a divorce lol
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of course he now Wants you🤣. Why Did you get married in the first place.
I would Leave Ur marriage&Not BE WITH ANYBODY.
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Honestly it sounded like he was only using you as a form of convenience. If you were good enough for him he would’ve made it work and asked you to go with him wherever he went. He didn’t, which means he didn’t really have the feelings for you that you thought he did. He told you what he wanted you to hear that is it. It sounds like now he is just hitting you up to be his side piece… honestly walk away before you ruin your life. Read between the flags honey, narcissistic and only looking for opportunities that are convenient for him
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You’re holding onto a fantasy where you are lacking in your marriage. You got married for a reason. Hold that place for your husband. Fix what you already have and leave that other person alone
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