I'm married and in love with another man

During college I was so in love with a guy and we dated on and off. Even when we were off were on. I thought he loved me but he did not freely open up about his emotions. After college, he finally got a job after being turned down for over a year but moved out of state. He kept up with me but declined a relationship because he was scared where he would end up having to move to. After many years, he ended up marrying someone. I married someone. I resolved with just being friends things were good. Then the day came and out of the blue he drops those three words that you long to hear. However, the tense of the words was present tense not past. I shrugged off and said I know that you love me, friend. He said No, I have always loved you and still do ! You could have knocked me over with a feather. The words I have wanted to hear for so long and given up because the past is the past. My heart stopped beating and I instantly started thinking about the past and how he always makes feel when we are together and the passion we share. I have seen him and the chemistry and passion is still there. After all these years, it is still so easy to talk and be with each. We laugh , share jokes, help each other with present life situations, vent and just talk for hours. He has always been my go to when the world is not kind. My husband has suffered many health issues and has suffered loss of cognition. His wife never makes time for him and she is not there for him. I am not a home wrecker and don’t want to be but we still sooooi in love. It is so frustrating to be in love with someone you can’t have.


Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. I'm married and in love with another man

Sorry honey but if he was that inlove with you, he’d be divorced…


Sounds like you’re already cheating on your spouse if you’re emotional that invested in someone else.


You should get a divorce and so should he. Everyone deserves to be loved. Do not waste their time.


Stop being unfaithful to your mates. Don’t see each other until your divorces are final.
Fact is men are less likely than women to divorce over “affairs”.
All the “fun” & none of the responsibilities & some times hard work of a marriage.


Kind of same situation. In my case I just settled for a one night stand cause of my self worth. Still married. Extremely miserable. Just now getting disgusted with myself realizing I married someone I didnt really even know. Him being so cold hearted and abusive is the deal breaker for me
But ohhhh did he put on the charm when I was 22 and married him :roll_eyes::roll_eyes: ( Im 31 now.) But so in love with my Friend. We see each other every night. Husband knows. Doesnt say anything.

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You should probably think of getting a divorce, for your husband’s sake. He deserves someone who loves him more than anyone else. That doesn’t sound like you.


It sounds a little toxic to me, it sounds like he is keeping on the hook so that your there to make him feel better when things aren’t “perfect” in his life. It’s unfair on you and you probably would be better off cutting ties and moving on.


Oh honey…He could’ve had you the whole time and its clear he’s using you as a fall back because his marriage is in a rough patch and you are clearly already cheating on your poor husband with a man who has proven that you’re a second choice to him…
And whats even worse is the only negative thing about your husband is he has poor health “sickness and in health” and you clearly have no regard for the vows you took


Be very very careful TILL DEATH DO US PART. You sound like a good woman …take care of your husband and pray the feeling for your friend away … Now how do you know his wife has no time for him …be wary of what he says it’s only one sided …It took him soo long that my ears are tingling …O will burst your bubble …He is bored in his marriage and is trying to spice it up and YOUare the weakest link.He always knew you loved him but was not man enough to love you back because he was going places and did not need you tagging along his local high school …IF he really wanted you he could have come back to pick you up after a year and he would have been preparing a place to take you to back then
You were not exciting enough. Now that he is bored …I bet his wife will have something to tell you…her part may even include his constant roving eye …reason she is keeping herself busy…
Forget him take care of your husband be there for him so that God may send you the blessings you need
He bought his bed let him lay in it …what dies he mean his wife has no time for him
How would you feel if your husband said that about you now to some woman …because we are emotional beings in sure your husband has sensed this euphoria new energy in you
Be wary of the wolf in sheep clothing he only comes to steal.
Stay at home …


If you’re both unhappy then figure out your personal lives get divorced and date each other again. But it’s only fair to each of your current partners to figure that out first. Also sometime the past is in the past for a reason. So I’d say be careful that history doesn’t repeat it self. FaceTime your post you start talking because he was afraid he was going to have to do something he didn’t want to do. And now he’s unhappy because he’s not being paid attention to.
You’re supposed to work at marriage but if one is not happy then they shouldn’t stay in a marriage are not happy and we’re all human and we only have one life.


And you believed him when he said He loves you???:sweat_smile:If it took him an eternity to confess his love for you then i highly doubt its real love more like fake love. He didnt choose you back then
…why would you ever want to be with someone that is not head over heels in love with you? You can visially see when someone adores you I highly doubt thats what hes showing you!! Careful girl infactuation can make u completely blind!!


He could always leave his wife and you your husband if it’s really love …otherwise stop living in the past and move the hell on


Hope you don’t have children to current husband, this would be damaging their lives,too,think carefully what you want or have now,do what’s right for yourself, either way it’s going to cost you some heartache


Your husband needs someone he can count on. It’s not you.


Face it You’ve already left your husband, now it’s only a matter of time. He will see it in you.


I would definitely say you need to tell your husband how your feeling and probably get a divorce. If your ex is so madly in love with you and always has been then he should do the same and tell his wife.


Playing with :fire: and stepping on your vows


Y’all both divorce and start a chapter that you deserve. Nobody should stay in a marriage that kills their soul. That’s not living. Follow your heart and be happy. You only live once.

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Honestly u need to do the decent thing and leave your husband,he deserves a wife who he can be 1st choice to,not someone whos in love with an old flame,choosing him because u cant have your first choice is cruel,he deserves better! Smh u clearly married someone u didnt actually want for the rest of your life,
You’re a wrongen and so is your side piece


I just wanna know do you put this much love time and passion in your marriage j/s


I’m not going to be rude because I’ve been in the same situation, follow your heart, but don’t make your husband believe your still in love with him. Leave him and tell him the truth because the guilt will haunt you for life if you don’t.

Adultery is adultery…long as you’re married


“for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in SICKNESS and in health, to love and to cherish, till death us do part.”

You’re already cheating. Please don’t ever get married again. Obviously you don’t take wedding vows seriously.


If you aren’t happy, get a divorce. But don’t stay married and mess with this guy. While vows are just words to us, God takes them pretty seriously.

You’re both still cheaters. The grass is green where you water it.

You have to think is he worth it. If you leave your husband and you start dating him and it’s not as magical as you’ve conceived in your head will it be worth losing the life you have for the one you think you want?

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You should get a divorce, your husband deserves way better.


Sounds like you’ve been cheating with him all along


Get a divorce would be the answer if you truly want to be together

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Follow your heart. We only have one life and being miserable is not the way to spend it

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Are you truly in love with him? Or in love with the thought of what could have been? Sounds like because of your husbands condition, you’re lacking emotional or some kind of intimacy connection. You need to leave your husband and let him have someone who’s gonna love him regardless of his health status.


Sorry for the typo mistakes my phone is hacked up hahahahaha

Your husband deserves better.

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Ummm yep, you’re definitely a home wrecker and he is too.


Its all bad. And how do you know of their relationship? How do you know hes not lying n shes sittin there tryin her hardest while you two spend more time with eachother than your partners. You state yours has had mental and cognitive issues, what happened to in sickness and in health? Work on your own shit instead of hopping off to an affair/another relationship. Although in fairness, yall have definitely been having an “emotional affair” smh


Don’t ever bring up what someone else’s wife/husband does and doesn’t do because you literally have no idea. You only know what he tells you.

Secondly, do you put THIS much effort into your current marriage and husband? Do you love your husband and care for him unconditionally or did you just settle because your old flame wasn’t available? You did your husband a disservice by settling and if I found out about this other man I’d divorce you immediately.

With all that said, you love who you love and if you truly love this man and he you then you need to inform your spouses and get divorced. Go through the divorce process and finalize it BEFORE you hop into new guys arms. Think about what you’d be giving up to try and pursue your old flame, he might not be the same person anymore and you need to be prepared for anything.


Your cheating simple leave your husband he shouldn’t be second best


HE WONT LEAVE. Your husband deserves better.


I wouldn’t trust him

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On and off relationships don’t work. That was your first mistake

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at some point you have to live for you… ive had a similar experience and rejected mine because of marriage
it was the worst mistake of my life
have your true love ppl dont get to do that if you can you should (he separates first though)

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His wife is probably a really nice woman but he is spinning you a lie. My personal view that his wife and your husband deserve soo much better then what they have with you pair. Give it a few years and he will be telling another woman that you don’t have time for him and by then I hope your husband and his wife are happy in life without you both, and karma comes back round your reap what you sow

I wouldn’t continue this until you BOTH fess up to your spouse’s and figure out your current relationships. If you both decide to end your marriages then start dating and go from there but as of now your both off the market and a emotional affair is still a affair.

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Your Wasting your husband’s time🙄 just divorce him bro, your already cheating. The past is the past for a reason, its ment to stay there. Seems to me your the issue, because Instead of working through it with your husband, like the vows yous took you’d rather be an option to someone else. you don’t deserve him.

Long lost lust. Let it go. You should never had stayed friends. I feel bad for your sick husband. He is innocent.