Sounds like you were on the back burner until the spark in his marriage started fizzling out and your marriage became complicated due to your husbands health problems. He kept you around to keep the fantasy alive and now he wants to collect from your vulnerability. He had his chance and chose the latter.
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Move on girl, you are married.
He had his chance and didnât appreciate it.
Be satisfied with what you have. Itâs easy to say you love someone when you only good times with them. Your husband saw the ugly and still decided to love you. If that other man loved you in that mattered he would have chose you first, you basically a rebound
If he wanted you, he would have had you a long time ago & he wouldnât have waited til you both married other people.
Youâre married. Focus on your husband.
Let him fuck his own marriage up without involving you.
Life is too short to be unhappy. Think about the over all picture and make a choice thatâs best for you. You can take opinions in consideration , but ultimately it is your choice and your life. You also have to realize it may not be greener on the other side.
Do it the right way so you wonât be a home wreckerâŠ. If your not happy get a divorce donât have an affair
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What if this was being done to you? ( And your romance?) Remember, grass looks greener on the other side of the fence but the water bill is higher. Best of luck.
It is very unfair to your husband for you to be with him and having these feeling and have had these feelings for YEARS. I get the whole you canât control who you live bullshit, but sounds like your current husband just ended up being a place holder and that is FUCKED up to do someone just because you canât have the person you truly want. If this is something g you felt you should have never got married in the first place and if you continue to go on like this BEHIND his back you are the worst kind of person there is. No one deserves to be In second place when it come to a marriage 
When u guys had the chance to have each other, but now that u guys r married is when u (dude) decide to fess up to her? Tsk tsk tsk. Do something legal about it. U (dudette) ur hubby is now out of commission, in some sort of way. What r u gonna do? When u feel something for someone, then let it be known; then and there, not when it is too late(legally).
You werenât good enough than he moved on u moved on donât go backwards just because heâs decided what he wants
BS! Now you two are married to other people he wants to express himself? What an ass. If he wanted to be with you heâd be with you. I feel bad for your spouses. Both of you need to make a decision. And definitely canât be friends
This has disaster written all over it. You already know in your heart what the right answer is or you wouldnât have written this novel trying to get people to tell you what to do.
Itâs not weird he is suddenly saying that now after how many years??? It sounds like you made up your mind on what you are going to do. 
He chose something over you so because heâs not happy in his marriage heâs making you a second choice and youâre falling for it. Donât be fooled if you have love then donât fuck it up because you want to get out of a comfortable relationship.
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Both of you need to divorce your spouses first before jumping in to a new relationship
You can have him⊠Divorce your husband he divorces his wife and there you go⊠But just remember grass always looks greener
Baby donât open that door while you are committed to another. Let time play its course. If you two have waited this long wait a little longer.
You both made a commitment to other people and that is thru sickness and health till death do you part. Why do people take marraige so lightly? 
If this was me? I would have stayed far away from this other guy and not entertained the thought at all. He had his chance and he blew it. Different if you are both single, but your not. I find these situations very frustrating as you have basically kept this backdoor open even tho you both married someone else, itâs totally disrespectful to your current partners and just imagine if the same was done to you. You lack loyalty and respect and it just shows your character. Cut off contact with this guy and put your efforts into loving your husband⊠I donât even know why this isnât logical in the first place.
Stop making excuses for your bad behaviour.
If you loved someone rlse why marry to begin with but you already know this.
Girl stop, he doesnât love you. If he did he would have found away back in the day.
If heâs willing to cheat on his wife with you heâll do it to you. Cheating does not have to mean sex, just saying he loves you is cheating on an emotional level. I stayed in a marriage for 10 years to someone who basically treated me like dirt but told all his friends that I never gave him any attention (it is very difficult to give someone attention when theyâre never there at the pub and other women took up so much of his time). I finally had enough, divorced him and found a man who loves me and only me while my X has been in and out of another marriage and several relationships (I had to stay in contact as we had a child) he doesnât seem able to remain faithful to anyone. Just remember that when the cheating lover becomes the spouse they create a vacancy. You are âin loveâ with an memory and I doubt youâll find happiness with him but if you do decide to give it a go at least let your husband go so he can hopefully find happiness with someone who really loves him as you donât.
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If he always loved you or wanted you from jump he would have married you. If someone wants to be with you so badly they will. Move on.
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Bernadette Rogers wow it must be nice to live in a glass house . To the women who is married and in love .
If you are unhappy please leave . You have to do what is good for you .I walked away from a love many moons ago and ended up with a disaster life . I have a good life today but not with the man I was in love with as he died .You only have one life . Live it with no regret.Good luck 
Donât know why people ask these questions. Youâve answered your own question by saying âwe are both so in loveâ you both agree to divorce your partners and get together. The fact you have already admitted you both love each other⊠you simply can no stay with your current partners. Thatâs not fair on them
Do you actually know what love and marriage is? Snap out of it!
Right now situation sounds like itâs rough because of your husbandâs health and youâre reaching out into a fantasy where all troubles goes away.it doesnât in fact you could have it worst. A marriage license is not something to throw away like a paper cupâŠYour husband didnât do anything wrong. A marriage is something that you have to fight for everyday . Snap out of it before you loose everything
Move on honey⊠your living in the past and what could of been. Do you have children & does he? How long have you been married & how long has he? Think about what you are doing and the consequences of your actions. He couldnât commit years ago⊠ask yourself âwhy all of a sudden does he profess his love nowâ? He sounds pathetic⊠and you are falling for it⊠as the saying goes â the grass isnât always greener on the other sideâ⊠lose this dude and concentrate on your husbandâŠ
Respect your vows. Thatâs why ppl Should not stay in contact with ex-lovers especially when they are married
I see people saying you made a promise but just leave. Itâs not fair to your spouses to stay. I would not want someone staying with me who loved someone else or was staying out of obligation.
Love/Lust/Commitment are not all the same⊠You made a commitment to your husband. Imagine being ill and your husband runs away with another woman because they once âhad a thingâ⊠You would be devasted. While it sounds exciting and new, you have no idea how this man is as a partner. You would throw away your marriage for someone at this point you barely know anymore.
Iâm in love with many men. Mostly frontmen of bands.
Lots of them are dead now.
It is frustrating to be in love with someone you canât have.
I understand.
Keep him for your fantasies because the reality of relationships is never smooth sailingâŠ
Unless you really donât love your husband anymore? Did you ever love the man you married?
I think you are in love with the fantasy of what could have been, the grass is rarely greener on the other side , think of the hurt it will cause 2 innocent people caught up in a mess they didnât ask for, how can you ever trust each other when your both virtually cheating already , not a great basis to start a life together, Iâm in no way judging as we all make mistakes and do things we later regret⊠take it from me , things will not be as you remember them with him , your both older , married to other people and water has gone under the bridge , if it had of been true love , you would be married to each other, not other people , put the effort in to your husband and cut Mr loverman out of your life , he obviously has no respect for your husband and as you donât for his wife , you know what they say " if you keep looking back you will get neck ache "
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This sounds like a âgrass is greenerâ scenario, and you sound like youâre fickle.
This isnât a poll-worthy question.
It simply sounds like you want the permission of complete strangers to cheat on your husband.
It also sounds like youâre buying Mister âdoesnât want a relationship because what if we have to moveâsâ line that his wife doesnât make time for him.
How do you know he isnât pulling the same unemotional bullshit with her and sheâs treating him accordingly?
He sounds like a cheating slack jawed yokel, and you sound like the âbut I LOOOVE himâ bimbo who keeps begging him for scraps of affection.
You want the advice of a complete stranger?
Both of you deserve each other. Let your poor spouses off the hook so they can find decent partners who donât think âcognitive declineâ is a good reason for abandoning someone.
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Are you 100% sure he will leave his wife for you? & if he does, thereâs no guarantee heâll stay with you. Thereâs probably a reason it didnât work out to begin with.
My question is not about your relationship with this man, but with your marriage. Are you happy there? It seems like youâre focusing on this relationship from college because of something youâre not getting in the relationship that you are in now and are trying to either fulfill that need or distance yourself from your husband. So what do you get from this relationship that you donât get from your husband?
Thereâs a reason you 2 never ended up together before! Sounds like he might have been handing you some BS excuses for not making a commitment before each of you found your spouses! So what if he would have had to move? Did you ever say there was no way you would move if that was the only way you could be a couple? I think he was waiting to see if someone 'better" or more his ideal woman would come along and just wasnât ready! And the person he chose turned out to not " be the one" after all or heâs just over it and there you are, still hoping and ready! And now your husband has problems! You donât give your ages or if you have kids! If you love your current husband and are still fairly young and raising a family, you need to stay! If you donât love your husband, but are fairly young and raising a family, you need to stay unless your husband is abusive , then thatâs a deal breaker in EVERY situation! If youâre older and no kids to consider and your husband can function on his own or has alternatives to help and thereâs no great love between you, I guess you can leave, but you have to live with your decision and I still wouldnât trust the other guyâs sincerity ! Iâm not saying he had to marry you those years ago, but it sounds like you were never in a relationship and just dated and that you had more feelings for him than he ever had for you!
You are married. Leave this man alone until your vows are completed. Turn your energy towards your husband and your marriage!!
You only live once⊠I think pursue it if thats what you want. However, ensure that if things donât work out that you wonât have regrets for whats been left behind. I feel if you donât do it, you will forever at your current husband in a poor light wishing he was someone he canât be
Sometimes the love is strong because you canât have each other, the âchaseâ might be more fun, than the âcatchâ
Either cut him off completely and be faithful to husband, or do the right thing and leave ur marriage
Why donât the 4 of you meet up? You never know what could happen. A great friendship amongst the 4 of you. Then you can see how he acts around his wife. No harm no foul.
You made a life time commitment and so did he. You both need to work it out with your spouse.
You need to think about the proâs and conâsâŠ
Could it work out side of what it is? You donât go home to each other every day. It may be all roses now but whatâs the reality of it?
Think about it⊠if your husband did this to you how would you feel?
You say you love this man and your in love with him I feel like you need to be honest with your husband and leave. He doesnât deserve that. He could find someone else who is all about him and madly in love.
You need to think about what are the outcomes if you do anything with him.
Love is great but itâs also shit.
You need to be careful because I feel like your playing with fire. You need to think about how his wife and your husband would feel if they found out.
Could you sleep with him and go home and look your husband dead in the eyes and lay next to him at night with out feeling guilty?
do not act on it. The guilt will eat you up inside.
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you are not forced to stay with those you marry. LEAVE and be happy. You owe nothing to the person you marry!!
Surely something is not going right in his marriage. So he has been reminiscing about the past, when all was easy, and the responsibilities, demands, and adult obligations werenât there. All of lifeâs hardships may have confused him into wanting everything to be as it used to be instead. Imagine if you became sick yourself in the future and if you actually left to be with this man. Imagine not being able to give him yourself as you do now, due to your illness, and that man would run back to his then X wife, and tells her that he was confused and that he has always loved her and she took him back. What then? How would you feel then? Would you blame him or would you realize that you made ur bed and you must sleep in it,alone, sick, and back stabbed when you need him the most? Would you realize that you were in love with the idea of love. Itâs easy to love someone ,and talk and laugh and have no worries, a few hours a day! When real life happens 24/7, that changes everything especially when it becomes hard. Thatâs when your true colors show. You said your husband is sick. That doesnât make him a bad man nor does it justify your actions. Your husband needs you more then ever and while itâs hard, thatâs what real love is. Thru thick and thin. Dedication and being there for each other. You canât be happy by destroying others. What starts bad ends bad. Carma will get you harder then you can imagine.
Itâs hard but we all make choices. Suck it up. This is a part of life. Stay with the one who you committed to be with. Him too. You are both complicating. each otherâs life
Why have something in the past.when you have some good right now.your Husband loves you.
He is only making a fool out of you. Just ignore him. What didnât he tell you all that years ago and go on and marry someone else. A con man I guess
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Two sides to every story. He needs to talk with his wife to try to fix what is wrong.stay out of it.
Two words maâamâŠToo late! Yâall time has past. The past is the past because it is not the present!
If he isnât going to leave his wife and you are not going to leave your husband and yall canât be friends then you must break contact. You can have each other, it sounds like your too caught up in what people will think to do it
This is inevitable to destroy your family I am telling you, end this, now. It is cheating, and your kids will know.
Too long to wait for somebody to love you but I know as a woman we follow are heartâs and most of the time it gets us into trouble ,save your time and be blessed for all that you do have now , save your heart and use your brain 
Youâre an adult. Being an adult means putting aside your wants and desires that arenât for the best and being responsible and doing whatâs right even though itâs not always what you want or what feels good in your heart. Youâre not a teenager. Donât be selfish and hurt others and yourself for something you know isnât good.
Do not listen to him, grass is greener from other side of the fence.
Its green because itâs full of manure (shit).
Just visualize that both of you are divorced and got married.
Now knowing his character live with him.
Not forgetting the kids and ex spouces in your way.
There always will be issues with two families, is he cut out for the challenge?
He is not able to cope and fix his current life so he is dreaming.
You will end up in a nightmare.
Honour your journey that Universe chose for you.
Itâs a privilege to live this long and just be content with our lives, we are not the heroines of a romantic soapie.
Look, I watched sex / life on netflix too. Well done on adding the wrinkle of your husband losing cognition, maybe thatâs a preview of season 2? Life ainât a TV show, grow up and donât cheat
And, what if the situation involved a child that was ok & then, all of a sudden an accident happened & that child would never be the same? Would you up & leave???
Sounds to me like he wants you to want him but doesnât actually want you. So as soon as your happy not wanting him anymore he flips the switch
If he loved you why did he marry someone else??? Why did you marry someone else if you loved him instead???
Just remember the grass isnât always greener on the other side
Do it right ,and divorce your significant other . Donât drag anyone else through it.
Heard this Country Western Song before, cheaters going to cheatâŠ
Strongest form of love is loyaltyâŠ
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And how much would it hurt your husband if he knew ,You are cheating ,end it with one or the other
choices have consequences. itâs easy to dismiss your present partners as ânot enoughââŠand reach for the shiny package, Be honorable. If itâs meant to be, it will work itself out.
Do something useful during lockdown besides making up fantasy stories to flog yourself to.
Grow up and realise thatâs life.
The grass is greener where you water it. If you want this other dude, divorce your husband 1st and let him divorce his wife 1st. If itâs meant to be another year wonât make a difference in your feelings.
Itâs not going to work out. Believe me. Just keep your marriage 
. The other guy is just an illusion
Havenât we seen this tired and bad plot on the BIG SCREEN a 1000x already⊠Jesus leave your marriage or donât⊠But please for Christâs sake make a decision and live with it.
Ask him if he is going to get a divorce? That will give you an answer.
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The grease always looks greener on the other side of fence. Just water the side youâre own and watch it flourish.
If you were in love his ass would have married you. Get over him heâll lead you on forever
Itâs always the same excuse
My husband ââ my wife doesnât pay any attention to me
This is why dudes as friends donât work heâs going to get what he wants and dump you leaving your husband cause heâs sick is fucked up too.
If things are not meant to be why continue? Sounds like you donât even know what you want. I really donât care about your life anyways good luck!
Donât do it. Stay where you are until circumstances change on their own. Have no regrets to carry into your next marriage. Been good friends is enough for now.
Yeah, that ship has passed . He obviously thought he could do better or he would of returned your love before now. Destroying your present relationship for a fantasy you once held for a wishy washy tool. You are only trying to recapture your youth. And believe me if you tried to start a relationship with him now . There would be still be no commitment . And he will use and abuse you like he did in the past
He was bored and had pleasant thoughts about you. He is manipulating your emotions as he is bored with his wife.
Not only is your karma jacked up if youâre dumping your ill husband, but what if the old flame only wants you now because he canât have you? 
You should have got to gather in the past not now maybe latter
Leave your respected partners. No one deserves to be the other unloved partner
What does your marriage vows mean? My marriage has lasted 50 years, and no I still donât have all the answers.
I have read some of these comments and agree.
But just go.
Donât wipe the man out because you want to chase a fantasy.
Most wives today get a lawyer and take the husband for everything.
Your husband has made a huge investment in you.
Donât make him regret it.
Cant respond to" nameless network" at least have the courtesy to fake a name. Next time Im blocking it.
Grow up, and realize that youâre courting danger. Pick one and stick with it. Sigh!
Be patient. If it is meant to be it will happen. Cheating isnt the way to go. You have waited this long and it didnât kill you. Dont.screw over your spouseâs for this. It isnt worth the regret.
Wow. Cut your crap and focus on your marriage. Thatâs awful.
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Think of the song from, Frozen, Let it go.
I call total and utter bullshit that nothing has happened with the âexâ and her between splitting up,and time of post
Unless u want to be hurt the same way .back away.
He needs a place to hang his hatâŠor a draw for his boxers⊠just kidding but something to think about
Do your husband a favor and end the marriage, youâve already moved on.
Its an Illusion hun, karma is a bitch sometimes, especialy from a past life.
I am a couples therapist so please just read what I write. Youâre having an emotional affair and thatâs just as bad. But From my experience I see women leave mentally before they do physically. Sadly the man will cheat physically before he cheats emotionally. So Iâm basically saying this man isnât in love with you but heâs unhappy with his wife because she doesnât give him attention and youâre a back up plan he will sleep with you but he doesnât want a relationship with you and it seems like he never did. If I was you I would confess to my husband about what Iâve been doing and he might leave or he might forgive I canât tell you that part but this relationship youâre seeking isnât going to work and youâre going to lose your husband in every shape and form.
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He played you for years, you owe yourself and your husband some respect.
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Did he watch sex life on netflix?
Wake up you ainât living in the past I would tell you to keep your mind at home and away from other menâs thoughts before you run your life
Sounds like you deserve to be all by yourself
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Watch Bridges of Madison County, did she make the right decision at the end?
With all the sh-- going on in the world right now, who really give a crap about this insignificant Junk?
El Ășnico motivo por el que te busco, es porque se siente solo, porque si de verdad te hubiera querido, desde antes que el se casara te hubiera buscado, el solo quiere una aventura utilizando viejos sentimientos, pero una vez que la relaciĂłn con su esposa mejore otra vez se alejarĂĄ de ti y te olvidarĂĄ, y tu quedaras peor que antes desilusionada y con una gran carga moral por haberte comportado como una adolescente y haber fallado a tu esposo