I'm not sure what to do anymore

I've been with my husband for 4 years now. I have 2 children from a previous marriage, as does he. I need some advice on how to handle a situation I've been in for the past 2 years. My husband's oldest child, a teenager, has done everything in his power to come between his father and I and he's completely out of control. Prior to getting married, my stepson and I got along, except for when he'd blatantly disregard the rules his father and I setup when he comes to stay with us, but we managed to get through things and work them out. However, since the day I married my husband, his oldest has become extremely disrespectful of me, my household, and even his father. The kid steals, lies, destroys our belongings, and only cares about himself. I can't even have a private conversation with my husband because his son will listen at our bedroom door and then throw whatever was said back at us. My husband and I get along well until his son is present and he tries pitting his dad against me. The relationship with my stepson is now beyond broken. After everything he's put me through, I suffered 2 breakdowns last year and had to seek therapy and medications for them. I'm at the point where I've lost my feelings for my husband's son and don't want to spend any time with him. I know he's my husband's child, but the constant disrespect, the constant pain and turmoil have changed how I feel towards him. Before anyone says anything about putting him in therapy or me giving him another chance, both have been presented and his mother won't allow therapy for him and I've given over a dozen chances, only to have him hurt me all over again.

I just don’t know what to do anymore. Please be kind, as I’m going through a lot here and just need some advice.

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