I'm So Upset About the Gender of My Baby (I Have My Reasons): Is that Bad?


So here’s a little back story on why I’m so upset. On May 15th, 2019, I lost my son at 34 weeks. I had a placental abruption that caused D.I.C and I had blood clots being sent to my kidneys. It caused me to go into stage 4 kidney failure. And I was devastated.

I’m currently 25 weeks along. And had my gender reveal yesterday. I’m having a girl. I’m crushed. Like I’m not really even happy about being pregnant anymore.

I feel guilty for feeling this way. This is my 4th pregnancy and I have no living children. I should just be happy that I have a chance to have another baby.

But I know that I had a horrible time growing up. I know how hard the world is when you’re a woman and all the scary things that could happen. I’m terrified.

I also have a real hard time connecting with women and I’m scared I’m not going to connect with my baby. I’m scared I’m not going to live up to what a mother should be with her. Beause of my own faults and shortcomings. I don’t know what to do. Or how to feel right now."

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It’s not bad that u feel that way girl, it’s okay but at the end ur still Going To love ur babygirl and you guys will Forsure bond. It’s prolly going to be hard at first but ur love will change … I also agree with u it’s hard being a woman and it’s scary having to raise one in this world but I couldn’t be more happier with my daughter who is now 12 she has attitude and I can’t stand her at times but she’s my baby forsure you keep ur head up and sooner a later you’ll grow to be happy with ur beautiful soon to b daughter … Good luck and congrats :grin:

Don’t stress it at all!! Once this precious baby is placed in your arms nothing else will matter!

I have 2 beautiful girls. One 10 and the other is 1. Yes I was bummed that I didn’t have a boy, because I always wanted to have a boy, but I wouldn’t trade these 2 for the world. My oldest is my rough and tumble. She loves camping, fishing, dirt bike riding, and being outdoors in general. My youngest is my no limit soldier. She is always getting into everything. They have two completely different personalities and I love them both. I was also told I would never have kids, so to have the two that I have is a blessing in itself.

My son died when he was a month shy of 2 years old. I wanted a boy so badly, for your exact same reasons. He was all i ever wanted. We tried to have another child, with no luck. But, I had the opportunity to adopt. A girl. I was terrified. I wanted a boy. My daughter is a gift. I’m so very, VERY lucky to have her. And I think that she’s taught me way more than I could ever teach her. She’s almost 2 now. And I cannot wait to see the awesome human she’s going to become. Believe me when I say that I understand your fear. I know you’re crushed. But once you’re with her, you’ll do a great job. Yes, the world is a tough place for women. But you’re going to teach her how to navigate it, mistakes and all. Congratulations!

I am so sorry for all you have been through. I have 2 girls. I was crushed both times I found out what I was having. I would not trade my girls for a boy ever. Even though I always wanted a son. They are so much fun. They are so full of love. They are the best thing that happened to me. We have a strong bond. You will teach this baby girl how to be a woman. That’s pretty amazing in itself.

I know exactly how you feel, but as soon as you see your baby and hold her you will just know that you are the only person in the world for her, she is yours alone and that little person will be bonded to you for life. I never really got all the fuss about babies when I was younger and all my friends were having them, but as soon as I had my own baby it totally changed me. You never know how full your heart feels until you have your own baby that is reliant on only you, and your partner if you have one. Try not to worry, I’m sure as soon as you see and hold your baby all of your fears will disappear, good luck and I hope everything goes ok for you xx

At my daughter’s 2nd bday I got custody via divorce. I was scared to death, being a male I knew nothing about raising a child, particularly a girl. The love for my daughter was strong enough to keep me going. She is now 45yo and I AM SO BLESSED. She served in the US Army, raised 2 wonderful grandsons. My love conquered my fears.

Little girls are amazing and you will do all you can to strengthen your daughter to be able to handle what girls go through… It made you stronger. And never apologize for your feelings. They are yours to feel. Acknowledge them and know that you don’t have to justify. She’s going to be a great girl because she has a fantastic mom!!!

No. You aren’t wrong. Naturally you want a boy because that’s what you’ve lost and want to replace. But, a girl will be amazing. Soon as she’s here you’ll love her more than anything in the world. So stop thinking so much, and get ready for her!