I dealt with an ex for four years who was addicted to porn and would actually not even hide that he was watching it. He mocked me and said they were so much hotter than me and put me down in every way. In one instance we had sex and it hurt me and I told him to stop. He looked at me while still trying to have sex with me and told me that the women in porn don’t act like me and they just lay there and take it.
We split over 5 years ago.
I settled down with a new partner who I pretty much ruined a relationship with because every single time he had a shower, or went to the bathroom more times than I thought was normal (yeah, that paranoid…)I thought HE was watching porn because that’s how my ex escaped to do it. I literally would tell him that I “knew” he was doing it behind my back. I was sooooo self conscious about myself and about him watching porn that at times I’m sure he would have rather watched it and tended to himself but time and time again, actually for over 4 years now, he has reminded me that he understands where I’m coming from but that he is NOT my ex. Mind you we’ve always had a mind blowing sex life.
The point of this being, I’ve experienced very similar and it honestly needs to be treated like an addiction. Even if he does care for you and love you, he is addicted to porn and not only just porn but to women posting photos of them wearing the SAME clothing as his wife. That IS an issue. You have to really be a bit “selfish” because at the end of the day this could easily completely destroy your self esteem, self worth etc if he doesn’t stop. And it’s not your job to make him stop.
You are perfect and beautiful as you are and I promise there ARE men who would much rather have real life physical intimacy with women rather than their hand and visual stimulation.
I can’t tell you what to do. But I feel that you already know deep down in your heart what needs to be done, even if it’s hard at first.
Goshhhhh. You deserve so much more than this. 
Just leave. He obviously doesn’t care it effects you.
A year into my relationship I found out my husband watched porn and had an addiction. I was 100% against it. I told him how it made me feel like I wasn’t enough for him and that I viewed it as a form of cheating because when you’re with someone you shouldn’t be lusting and pleasuring yourself to other people.
I told him that if I ever found out that he was watching it again that I was going to start getting into the pornography business (I never would but I wanted to make a point.) I told him that if he sees nothing wrong with viewing and supporting other women in the porn industry then he should have no problem with me being
out there for other men to see. That was where the realization set in of what he was doing was hurting me and not okay because he would never want another man to see me naked. It’s been a year since we’ve been working on building our relationship back to where I can trust him, some days are hard, but he does things to prove that he’s trying to earn my trust back. For example he’ll leave his phone on the nightstand when he showers. But as far as the intimacy part of things, it’s not as great as it used to be. After I found out he was watching my self confidence suffered majorly and I didn’t want to be intimate with him because I didn’t feel like I was enough or what he wanted. I think it’ll be awhile if things ever go back to how they felt before. But he’s trying and I’m trying to rebuild what we had. But I told him that if I ever find out he’s disrespecting me again by watching I will not hesitate to divorce him. So he’s knows I’m serious about the situation.
Excessively watching porn is an addiction. Just like gambling & playing video games can also become an addiction.
If youre not willing to walk away, then any other opinions are pointless.
Been there done that, got the tshirt, coffee mug, keychain, bumper sticker, etc
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Honestly it sounds more like he’s just a disrespectful jerk. My grandfather always said to remember “A man isn’t any good if he can’t keep his word” He agreed to stop but keeps on doing it anyway is wrong of him. The fact that he can’t or will not at very least stop doing it around you because it bothers you. Kind of makes me wonder how much does he really care and love you if he can’t respect or understand how this all makes you feel. But me being me I would get some magic Mike type stuff play it in the bed next to him where he could see me and it. I also be adding some comments as I was watching it 
but that just me and when and if he flipped out I be like now do you understand that’s your porn makes me feel. Then I roll over and go to sleep. But again that’s me and probably not the right way to go either leave him or getting professional help would be better.
I’ve had the same problem over four years and a baby🙂 LEAVE. I promise it’ll be so good for your mental health.
It’s easy for people to trivialize the damage watching porn (especially alone) causes to a relationship. But one thing, I think, most women would agree with is that when you know your husband/boyfriend watches porn regularly, it does nothing to make US feel beautiful, sexy or appreciated.
Some women who have tons of self confidence are able to ignore it and remain complacent, but even SHE doesn’t get an extra boost of self confidence when she finds out her man watches other naked women on his free time.
Maybe I think about it too idealistically, But I think when a married couple decides to have children, they both accept that it could change things, including the woman’s body. It shouldn’t be JUST her problem, if by having his children, she’s gained a few pounds, earned a few stretch marks, etc. I think when a guy watches porn, after getting his wife pregnant, it makes her feel undesirable and unattractive. And I think that’s extremely disrespectful and unsupportive… it’s as if he just ditched the unpleasant side effects of bearing his children on her. He’s obviously proving he’s not willing to wait it out with her and give her the love and support, while she works at getting back to herself. It’s very selfish and mean.
Sweet mama, please don’t you believe for one second that “everyone watches porn”. I see you, I hear you, I AM you. There are amazing support groups right here in Facebook that have gotten me through the day on many occasions. Also, https://fightthenewdrug.org/ is an amazing resource for helping you understand that this is an addiction and there’s an entire army of people fighting against it so nobody else has to end up like you and me. There’s many options for help if you choose to stay with him and there’s many options for help if you don’t. Nobody can name that decision but you. But if you need to find comfort in talking to someone who has been there, who IS there, you can DM me anytime! Sending you love and strength. You are beautiful!
Y’all should start making y’all own porn videos so he can watch 
and have y’all ever had a talk about the things that bothers you and just ask would he like if you showed him other guys and etc.
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Counseling. For you. For him. For the both of you. No other way around this if you want these issues resolved.
This is exactly my relationship, 2 kids in.
Sounds like you will never get past the porn. Leave him… you aren’t into the same things
You both need counseling individually.
Leave. Life is way too short to not be happy.
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Parental locks on his phone.
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I would suggest go to counseling to fix those issues & work on your confidence & go to marriage counseling as well. Good luck!
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Leave him. Period you need a man who can keep his word and be 100% with you
There is someone out there that will love you the way you need to be loved. Don’t waste your time. Know your worth. You have asked many times he isn’t willing to believe he has a problem and he lies. What else does he lie about? In my experience a lot!
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Glad I’m not the only one…exact same situation…
So I don’t think you need to come to social media to validate your feelings. You’re always going to find females that don’t agree with you and then some that do. Different strokes for different folks and all that. However, anyone looking a clothing reviews and jacking off or flicking the bean have serious, deep deep rooted issues. He needs counseling. This is not normal nor appropriate behavior. Like wow. As far as your issues with porn, you’ve voiced them. Repeatedly. With VALID reasons you do not like him watching it and he still does it. And that’s just what you see. Nevermind what he does when you aren’t around or can’t see him clearly watching it. If it was me, I’d sit down and tell him point blank you’re done with him. His refusal to even acknowledge and work on the porn issues have caused you to lose any and all attraction/feelings for him. He can enjoy Tammy Tiny Tits and Pamela Pussyflicks while you find someone that has an interest in you and your feelings. There’s no possible way to work through things if he isn’t willing.
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Buy a vibrater and do ya own thing. That’s where I’m at
You deserve to feel beautiful in your relationship. If he can’t do that for you he should know that someone else will. Life is too short to be unhappy. Your children deserve to see you happy as well. In my opinion there are far worse things than porn ,but when it makes you feel insecure ,and anything less than beautiful. He should be man enough to put it down for you and your family. It sounds like you’ve made up your mind already. I think your more looking for an okay to leave. Your not going to find that answer here …listen to your heart.
It’s cheating to me also. When you asked to marry it was to be with me only. Strip clubs fall under the same rule. It sounds like you deserve a man who appreciates, lives and only has eyes for you. Find a way to leave and move on.
Leave! Nothing will ever change and he will only get worse! Stop wasting your time and get out!
Watching pornography is an addiction and it eventually affects ones desire to the human touch. I wouldn’t consider it cheating but the fact that he makes you feel insecure, unwanted and not enough and he continues to do it, that’s enough reason to let him go.
This is how I have dealt with it. Although it was never even near addiction level. My husband of 25 years likes to watch it once in a while and I do not care. Not everyone watches porn or enjoys it. I do not like it, its disgusting. But I also am very confidant in where he lays his head, and its only with me. I am good with that. He isnt cheating on me by watching other people get funky. If he needs the funk Im right here!!! So its not an issue, we have enough going on in this world right now that its truly time to pick your battles, this just isnt one of them.
First , go get some counseling for yourself to help you be stronger, with ot without him. Secondly, some people do watch porn, and some people need help, like he does. He has an addiction problem. You need to stop talking about it and hold him accountable, tell him, this is it, get help or get out. Be prepared for him to leave, and you will mourn what you thought you had, but will begin to come alive again.
I probably wouldn’t break up my family over porn just saying…it sucks but tell him it pisses you off…you also need to work on your self confidence!! I say that in a nice way
Leave. He doesn’t give a single shit about how you feel
So what I hear is. He liked porn. You didn’t. He agreed. You thought he was being sincere and now your both here.
That is a far cry of the definition of addiction to porn BUT you both agreed to not use it.
You literally said at the end you’ve fallen out of love with him. So there’s not much to fix. Just keep a good coparenting relationship (if you can) for your children and go your separate ways.
Porn isn’t healthy first off. It is cheating. Counseling with him and by yourself would be a good first step. He has to kick this very bad habit. You can get super addicted to it.
It’s not even about the porn at this point it’s about the DISRESPECT SIS!!! throw that man out!!! Take out the trash!!! He can still be a great dad and that’s what matters! Find you a man who finds comfort in YOU!!! Let him be just the baby daddy and moveeeee tf on!!!
Ok first of all it’s absolutely ridiculous in my opinion to think that watching porn is cheating. He doesn’t know these women personally nor will he ever have the chance to meet any of them. He doesn’t even know their real names just their “stage names.” Secondly the bathing suit story and the clothing story makes me think he’s just not attracted to you and instead of being a man and telling you he’s being passive, which is ultimately hurting you worse than the truth would. Honestly leave him and don’t get into another relationship until you sort out your own messes. Build up your confidence because honestly expecting a man to do that for you is unrealistic. Sure your man is supposed to BOOST your confidence, but as far as GIVING you confidence that’s all up to YOU
Bye boy Bye. That’s not just being normal with porn. That’s definitely an addiction…
Coming from a woman who has been through this junk myself with my husband. We have been together for almost 7 years. I even get the whole sicko habits that are completely disgusting and mind blowing that someone does these things, I get it. But honey you have got to finally say enough is enough and leave! I did in 2018. Thankfully I found my worth during that time. While my husband went wild for 5 1/2 months, he also watched me move on with my life and get my ducks in a row. I worked on me! We got back together he messed up a couple times. The last one did it for me. That night I had this feeling something bad was about to happen. I felt an urge to get up to my husbands job where he was working late. I rushed up there thinking he was hurt and walked in on him jerking off to photos of another woman. At work!!! His boss, wife or kids could of walked in on him instead of me!!! He didn’t care!! I told him you can do that all you want but you can’t have me and that. So apparently since I wasn’t what he wanted I asked for a divorce. I think he seen a difference in me that night. I was confident within myself and knew my worth! He seen that and knew the old way of living was not happening buddy boy. We haven’t dealt with it since, that was summer if 2019. I’m not saying your situation will go this way all situations are different. But what you can do is take care of you! He can’t give you anything that only God can give you. You have got to within the chaotic mess within you say enough is enough I want better for myself and my children then do something about it. People can say counseling and all that but just like any addiction, if he isn’t ready to let it go and stop… nothings going to change.
Wow there are so many comments on here that are just wow…
Firstly, you set a limit he didn’t follow, that strike one, youve continued to give numerous chances because im sure there’s been lots of lying, and its been going on for 6 years so now your probably a bit codependent… so on that note
secondly, you need to educate yourself on men and porn, I don’t care how many woman say their man doesn’t watch it or look at other women, they definitely do and just havnt been caught. All men and lots of women watch porn…but you set a hard limit at the beginning of the relationship so he shouldve respected you enough to either follow it or leave, on that note.
Thirdly, you should go to counseling for you! You can suggest to him to go for his addiction but thats totally up to him not you. You have already admitted that your self esteem is very low. You need professional help to realize that how you view yourself is entirely in your control, not your husband’s, friends etc. Noone can make you feel inferior except you. Thats a hard concept to grasp thats why counseling is helpful, I suggest doing one or two small things every day that help you to feel confident about yourself- put on just a lil makeup or do your hair, and then smile at yourself in the mirror and say I am beautiful and confident! Because you are beautiful and confidence well fake it till you feel it, I promise it’ll work. During this phase just ignore the things your husband does, keep conversations casual, stop chasing him and focus on
you…
Fourthly, once you’ve gained some esteem an confidence in yourself, figure out what you wanna do with your life and relationship and then do it.
If you want to stay an work on it, just know unless he seeks professional help he is probably not gonna change, and even if he does seek him its going to be hard, so you need to prepare yourself for those failures, that are his allow and has nothing to do with you. Or if you decide no I don’t want to do this any more, then do what you gotta do…
Either way, youve got to work and focus entirely on YOU and of course your kids… my best piece of advice is work on yourself, and not your husband. You can message me anytime you need want to talk
It is so not cheating… this is ridiculous. Unless they are actually talking/flirting or being with them physically. Porn is a pretty normal thing these days and yes most men are obsessed. But really, it shouldn’t bother you. Those girls are fake, the orgasms are fake like who really cares
People out grow people. But he’s definitely got an issue if he can’t get help you deserve better! Best of luck momma 
Tel him to leave… that’s so crazy he does that 
he’s obviously not respecting you at all.
Run if he can’t be real about porn he can’t be real bout
Much
I love how the very ugly people are the rudest ones…inside and out. Lol
You’re enough for you. Leave him.
A lot of you are disgusting, and honestly avoiding the comment section is self cafe.
Admins, allowing this passive advice for such an emotionally abusive situation is very unethical and irresponsible.
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I’ve been threw this and I get it! My husband should not be getting off to other woman ((period))!!! I will and do anything he wants in the bedroom. I worked in the sex field for 5 years 20 years ago and I’m still just as freaky! I get so angry and hurt! Good luck I feel your PAIN!
It’s sounds like to me you need to work on YOU. if you have all of these self Confidence issues work on them. Whatever the issue is work on it. get to the point where you feel beautiful every day. Quit nagging him about looking at porn. Porn is very healthy thing to do. And maybe he is doing it because your upset and bring it up. Men are very petty…
I would work on urself, weight, self esteem, everyday all day tell us self u r amazing, beautiful and its time to go! And go u can choose another partner when ur ready or just have fun dating but get out and just do u
You need to work on you. Your self esteem. You’re using his porn issues to say you feel bad. He needs to get help for that if he’s willing to admit a problem. If not, move on. He clearly won’t quit.
I don’t think she was asking if anyone else thinks porn is okay. They have BOTH agreed that it is not okay for them. He cannot keep a promise to her and has proven that he is a hypocrite by telling her one thing and doing something quite opposite. And to those saying this is normal, no. When you REPLACE your real intimacy with what is online, that is not normal or acceptable.
Dump him and get a man who can’t keep his hands off you,tells you how sexy you are and wouldn’t notice another woman if she walked past him in skimpy bondage gear 
good luck girl x
If you are this unhappy, get counseling, if he has a legit problem he needs help, not nagging. You, however, need to accept the fact that watching porn is completely normal and is NOT cheating. Unless he is talking to these girls or meeting up with them, he is doing what every other man in this world does. All men look at some sort of porn, get over it honey.
Porn can be a serious addiction . This has nothing to do with you. He could be with a said “perfect woman” and he would do the same. Hes not just hurting you, hes hurting himself too. Hes programming his mind only get off to edited pictures and unrealistic expectations. Go get a dildo bigger than him and start watching porn yourself .
Porn isn’t cheating to us. It’s annoying but not cheating. Especially when I would wake up and see he’s just staring at porn. It usually only happens now when we have partied and drank a lot. But prior it was a bit more often then that.
The review section thing would definitely piss me off. That isn’t cool one bit because those are real women. Porn is supposed to be a fantasy.
Sounds like over the years you’ve expressed your concern and no change. Time to move on. He can still be a great father and person without being your husband.
Men are fucking weird. It’s one thing to watch some porn but to look at comment review sections and get off to women leaving reviews to Bras and underwater? That shit is weird af to me. Porn is one thing but online review sections. Sound like he has some kind or fetish or seeing other women in the stuff you wear. Idk that’s weird.
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That’s really sad and you honestly should not have had kids with him but anyways your husband is sick in the head and you need to go
I agree with you. Porn is cheating. I do find it rather creepy and down right terrifying to know he is looking at clothing reviews on lingerie to get off. Girl you deserve better and he needs to quit beating his meat. Dont let him bring you down. Also girl work on your self confidence. Only you can change it. Hence "self"confidence. So in short go find you a man that doesnt watch porn. Some will say all men do but my fiancee doesnt. So not ALL men do. He maybe a sex addict but left untreated he will end up alone or with one big freak in the sheets. So I would tell him point blank. I am leaving. You need help for your addiction to porn. I will always have a special place in my heart for you but you addiction has ruined this relationship. I wont hold the kids from you, I think you are a great father. Please get some help. Your too good of a person not to. And leave it at that. Dont fight and argue. Just say your piece and leave. If he wants to have a matute conversation about it then talk and maybe he will get help. Dont take less than what you deserve.
Honestly, I’ll probably cop alot of hate for saying this, but, sorry not sorry…
I used to be like that, because I was unhappy with myself I was pissed when my ex watched porn while I was asleep or whatever -( I’m not exactly vanilla, used to watch it together sometimes)
I made it into an issue because it made me jealous etc,
Over the years, Ive come to realise that the problem wasnt the porn etc the problem was me and my attitude towards myself and the porn etc
I also had to learn, that just because you’re in a relationship doesn’t mean you have to be the same person, be together all the time, live in each others pockets etc, it’s okay to be an individual person and have some damn privacy and time for yourself, and yes maybe watch some damn porn and have a ’ wank’ or ‘flick the bean’ so to speak…
It really doesn’t have to be such a Big issue if you’d work on your own insecurities and crap and maybe you could even get kinky and surprise him with a decent porn movie and watch it with him.
And if you find that you’re to vanilla, and fallen outta love maybe it’s time to cut the control cord and leave.
Y’all are defending him as if it’s normal and it’s not and I’m sorry that you feel that it’s normal just because you’ve dealt with people who are like him OR YOU ARE LIKE HIM but that’s not normal. To neglect your wife and choose to get off on other women instead of your spouse when you know that it hurts their feelings and you have verbally agreed that you think it’s cheating and you mutually understand that you both think it’s cheating and then you proceed to do it you are basically being unfaithful to your wife by choice because you agreed it was cheating and continued to do it. On top of that why would you continue to do anything that upsets your spouse when you know how they feel about it and have expressed how much it hurt them? That’s not love. If you love someone you would not be able to willingly hurt them with full knowledge that it was going to hurt them and proceed to do it anyway, that’s selfishness not love. And even if in some world it was okay if it’s not okay with her that’s perfectly fine because everyone is allowed to have their own opinions and are allowed to have their own preferences and if she prefers to be with someone who doesn’t watch porn and porn is a deal breaker for her that’s perfectly fine she didn’t ask for you guys to come and put your input on your views of porn she asked for help on what to do to feel better so go stick a sock somewhere
My ex husband is like this… and yes… is, because he still IS to this day. I did not know about it he hid it well. I eventually found out because it had escalated to a high dollar phone bill and it went from there. I started looking for signs and this bits along the way and realized his is definitely an addiction. We havent been together for over 11 years but things haven’t changed. He recently blamed his girlfriend finding a “book” on our son. He literally stooped that low as to blame his son for his own addiction. My point is if it’s this bad it doesn’t and won’t get any better. This man is over 50 and has done this all his life. It only gets worse.
Are you catching him in the act or are you assuming he’s getting off to these pics?
Be happy he has a sex drive. As you get older it drops off. Make the most of it.
If your not happy then leave.
Life is short
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Damn yeah if I was in that situation I would need to leave.
There is someone who will treat you the way you want to be treated!
Girl the fact he goes to the reviews to get off it’s NOT porn ,he’s an asshole
Im going through this n it sucks 
SEPERATE! get a job and GO🎉 you deserve happiness!!!
He may need professional help
Pack him up throw his crap in the yard and CHANGE ALL THE LOCKS! BTW …Get yourself a restraining order too!
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There’s absolutely nothing wrong with not watching porn. There’s nothing wrong with advising counseling! Having a third party that doesn’t know either one of you or your situation can sometimes give you a really good point of view and it being a professional can help you with your communication and possibly a solution to fix and mend your relationship. It’s truly up to you if you want try to continue with your relationship or not. He obviously needs help so that needs to be addressed ASAP.
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So no not everyone watches porn and it is NOT normal to get off to womens reviews on clothing sites OR to be jerking off right after your wife has your baby instead of being a spouse and father. This is clearly a problem where even other women are defending this porn addicted dude and blaming OP instead. Not cool.
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Have you tried therapy? You’re putting an awful lot of responsibility on him about your own self confidence.which is not fair and borderline mentally abusive as its controlling. Porn is not cheating.
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Partners of Sex Addicts Support Group click on this link and join this group there’s lots of support out there for you💜
If I felt as you do, I would leave. Talking about it is over.
Pn is what keeps us alive
Get away from him and find your happiness! One day you will find you a good man that worships you inside and out! Good luck to you, this broke my heart reading 
If you don’t love yourself and can’t be happy alone you can’t expect for someone else to be able to make you happy. While of course it helps to have your husband make you feel sexy with his attention and complements it’s not his job to bring you confidence when you never had it to begin with that is impossible. I understand how you feel my husband and I have been together 7 years and l caught him on one of those porn video chat things. I knew that our relationship had been lacking luster in the romance department mainly because I stopped feeling sexy when I got pregnant with our second daughter 3 years ago. My lack of confidence caused me to not feel comfortable making moves on my own husband I became withdrawn from my relationship and I imagine he just started seeking self satisfaction via porn. Am I happy about it no but I know that I’m partly to blame. So I started working on me my weight plays a large roll in my lack of confidence so I’ve lost 42 lbs and have about 80 lbs to go. Here is what I figured, if I worked on making myself feel good in my own skin then my husband would take notice and our sex life and relationship would improve because my confidence wouldn’t be based on validation given to me by him. With that said if you truly feel there is no going back that the love is lost and no about of self improvement or counseling is gonna bring those feelings back to you, then sit down and talk to your husband about your feelings and what ya’ll should do going forward.
Gtfo …run fast:bangbang:
it never changes… find a man not a boy who will appreciate you and cherish you
Correction: we all don’t watch porn.