Best idea for wedding cakes is to make a display cake yourself and have a sheet cake in the back to be cut for guests! Simple, easy and inexpensive! 
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If your parents not contributing towards the cake is enough for you both to question getting married then maybe you shouldn’t
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We are getting married in October and paying for it all ourselves, except for what our parents have offered to contribute. We would never ask or assume anyone should pay for our own wedding except ourselves.
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Wedding are expensive but completely the couples responsibility to pay for. You will get gifts/money to make up for some expenses but it shouldn’t be expected at all.
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60 bucks? Is that all you’re asking for? Send me your bank account details and I’ll transfer you lol consider it a wedding gift and congratulations
So right I didn’t have one but nobody cared 
Dont buy a wedding cake.
Its just a cake.
Its your commitment to each other that makes the day special.
Buy or bake lots of cup cakes.
Hope your day goes well xx
Why get married if you already had a commitment ceremony? Isn’t that essentially the same thing?
Is the cake the only thing they are being “horrible” about? If you really want to get married just elope or go to the courthouse. Weddings are a waste of money and you’ve already kind of had one. 
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Weddings and the cost of them are no one’s responsibility except the bride and groom. I personally believe if you can’t afford to pay for it yourself, wait until you can.
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No one else is responsible for paying for your wedding. If you want a wedding with a cake you’re the only ones responsible for paying for it.
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Wedding cakes are shit anyways. No one actually eats it and you end up binning most of it. Trust me I know from my own experience
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You want a wedding you have to pay for it, times have changed parents aren’t expected to pay for anything anymore and rightly so. Maybe you should’ve got a cheaper wedding cake?
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I’d never ask my parents or my partners parents for help to pay for our wedding. If they offer that’s a different story.
This however sounds like children expecting help and throwing their toys out of the pram when they aren’t getting it. The difference is children can’t get married. Adults can and if you want to be an adult and get married then don’t act like a child when you can’t get your own way by potentially ruining a wedding.
Although at this point it doesn’t sound like you’re mature enough to get married to begin with.
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Can’t believe this has actually been posted 
like a kid throwing their toy out the pram cause ya didn’t get £60 
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So you’ve spent hundreds already but your thinking of calling it off over 60 dollars?
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I don’t think there should be any expectation that anyone, parent or otherwise, contribute towards a wedding. They can be as cheap or expensive as you make them
Make your own cake or cup cakes. You choose to get married with a party your responsibility.
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Why don’t they want to contribute anything to your WEDDING day? Moaning about having to buy a gift, and you asked for something as small as £30 for a cake. Do they care you’re getting married at all? I’d be miffed too, not that they won’t help pay, but that they seemed so completely uninterested in the whole thing 🤷 I’m lucky to have family who give a crap, my grandad bought my dress as he wanted to do something special for me for my wedding. I’d tell them to stick their gift if it’s so much hassle their child getting married 🤷😬 x
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Get a cake within your budget 
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What a load of scroungers
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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. https://answers.mamasuncut.com/t/is-asking-for-help-paying-for-a-wedding-cake-a-big-deal/12895
You know asking for help should not be an issue. Just because you’re all grown up now doesn’t mean they have to stop being your parent. I always have an open door policy for my house. And when my kiddos get older if they need something or just wanna come over and take food or do laundry. Let them! Just because they are big now doesn’t mean your parenting stops. It changes over time yes. See there is a difference between helping and enabling. If you hardly ask for help I don’t see why it would be a problem. I would be honored to help my kiddos pay for a cake. If thats the worst they ask for that’s a win to me
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Your parents don’t HAVE to do anything. This is your wedding not theirs. My parents did nothing for my wedding. We bought the marriage license and a bunch of roses. Our wedding was simple. If your wedding is making you ask for money from someone else then get a different idea. You don’t have to have a fancy wedding. You don’t have to ask for money. Seriously. Just buy three different sized cakes and place them on top of each other. Your wedding isn’t as important as the marriage you will be living and having inlaws and parents hate you over $60 isn’t worth this.
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Depends on many things. First marriage? Age? How close are you? What are their beliefs? For my second wedding we didn’t ask for a dollar from our parents. They would have helped but we didn’t think it was appropriate. And some people think once you live together that help is off the table. This isn’t a yes or no without lots of details.
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I personally feel like if you don’t have the money then maybe not doing it until you do. I mean the traditional “parents pay for the wedding” is an old one. People struggle nowadays (parents included) and weddings aren’t cheap (even small ones) 30 dollars can be a small amount for some and for others it can mean a few groceries
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The guests and the family shouldn’t have to pay for your wedding. Get what you can afford and don’t be upset because your parents don’t wanna pay for your wedding, they aren’t the ones getting married. They are right, they will already be getting you a wedding gift which isn’t going to be cheap. You can’t depend on other people to fund your life, ever.
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I’m wondering how many of these ladies had help with their wedding or anything in general that wasn’t anybody’s responsibility but their own. I can see the hypocrisy from here . 
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You and your spouse are CHOOSING to have a wedding so you should plan one that you can afford. No one should be obligated to pay for any portion of it. If they offer, great but it’s not anyone else’s responsibility but you two.
There’s always the cheaper option of getting married in a courthouse 
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It’s not inappropriate!
But if they don’t want to, ask close friends who care about you and love you.
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I gave my daughter 700 dollars towards her wedding and other family members also contributed. Family helps family. And sixty dollars is nothing compared to happiness and helping someone you love. I call bullshit…
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Although it would be appreciated, I wouldn’t expect help from anyone for anything.
This is exactly why we did a courthouse wedding. We knew we couldn’t afford much at the time… plus my husband and I didn’t like enough people to have a big wedding lol.
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Maybe they feel like your already married because of your commitment ceremony and if they got you gifts then they feel like having a real wedding now is like a second wedding if I had already done the big shabang with my friends then the rest is paperwork, maybe go to the court house instead of paying for a second party and just take all those $$$ and go on a vacation 
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If they didn’t offer, it’s not their responsibility. Make a cake or request $10 from 6 close friends…
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I don’t agree with asking anyone for help. Buy a smaller cake or something you can afford.
I got married in June. No one helped pay for anything 100% paid for by my husband and I.
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Well damn, it’s only $30. I don’t think you’re asking for much!
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I know things are very tight these days. Why don’t you put a couple of low $$ amount cash gift cards in your registry and pay for it on your own! I’m sure there’s a couple of people who are willing to jump on that. 
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Even though it’s your wedding and technically you and him are basically responsible and liable for the costs of your decision to get married…it really sucks you don’t have help. Most ppls families and/or friends at least offer to help. Traditionally your maid of honor is in charge of the bridal shower and bachelorette party but not obligated. I’m sorry hun. It would be great if family and also FRIENDS would offer to do things and help out. It sucks you don’t have that support but congratulations on being in love and your wedding. I hope your big day is amazing
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I think if you’ve already spent hundreds of dollars what’s another $60?!? Donate plasma or come up with some other way to get it. I wouldn’t feel comfortable asking anyone to help pay for my wedding. Unless your parents are wealthy then the traditional parents paying is pretty not a thing anymore.
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Unfortunately it isn’t a parents responsibility it is yours. It’s your weddings not there’s. So yea your in the wrong to be mad about it. Just my opinion. Shouldn’t expect people to pay for your stuff. You can’t afford it don’t get it.
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I think it’s awful they’re being petty over $30. That’s less than a single wedding present. HOWEVER it is not their problem nor responsibility to fund your wedding: tradition does not mean obligation. It is your and your partners wedding and if you can’t afford what you want then you’re living beyond your means and that a you issue. It’s sucks again that they’re being that way but it’s also not their bill to foot
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Idk of my daughter came to me and asked me for $60 to help with a wedding cake I’d give it to her. 1st,2nd,or 3rd marriage i don’t care. She’s my kid and i love her. Asking for help isn’t a big deal & for those saying it’s “your wedding, your problem” keep that same energy when you need $60 on rent,mortgage,utilities, groceries. Your bills, your problem.
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If your crying over 30.00 from each parent…you don’t need to get it….period….
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I don’t think its a big deal. Even if they’re unable to help, they could just say something like “We love you but can’t”. Not all that drama.
Personally, I’d get a tiny cake & not give them any BC I’m petty but that’s just me
Congrats & best wishes
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You can’t rely on other people to pay things for you, family or not. It’s your responsibility. If you don’t have the money, don’t get a cake. It’s not a necessity and it’s not the end of the world. It’s nothing more than an expensive tradition.
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I think it’s pretty customary for parents to pitch in a bit for their child’s wedding, more-so the bride’s family. I hate the comments that are saying “they don’t owe you anything”. They’re your parents! If they truly can’t afford it then okay, but parents should always be happy to help contribute to things that will make their kids happy if they can (within reason obviously). It’s a cake for fuck’s sake!
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I’ll give you the $30 too!
It’s the principle of it IMO… for the people judging that she might need help with $60.
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I would suggest that if you are asking for them to help pay for the cake, that they don’t bring a gift. Paying for your cake is the gift. How about that?
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You already spent hundreds of dollars but can’t afford 60 more for a cake. You have been living 6 years together and a commitment ceremony 3 years ago. Sorry you’r on your own. They owe you nothing
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Why are you getting married if your depending on someone else for anything for your wedding?!
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When ur a grown adult u pay for your own things especially a wedding your wanting to have
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It’s not your families responsibility to pay for your wedding.
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The parents are making a big deal out of nothing. If they don’t want to contribute just say that and own up to their decision instead of crying or ignoring the fact. But in my opinion I think it’s kinda bs they won’t contribute. Sure it’s “only $60” and you can probably afford it but that’s not the point
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Surely by November you could save $60. Then you don’t owe anyone anything. Congratulations on your upcoming wedding.
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Unfortunately weddings always bring the worst in families to the surface 
. My opinion I families should all help each other and this should be voluntary. Families used to pay parts of wedding expenses: grooms family used to pay say reception costs, brides family used to pay bridal dress, flowers etc. Modern times though society has gotten quite selfish. Families are often no longer a village like they used to be. This is 
so sad but is what it is. So my advice: if causes drama just get a cheaper cake or pay yourselves. Do all your way if no one assisting in expenses. If families are an issue cull them and personalise guest list to those who want to be with you on the day. Whatever in-fighting can be avoided in a wedding will make your big day nicer.
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Why wouldn’t they help it’s only $30 I know it’s a lot to some but why wouldn’t you say that would be their gift in response to them saying they’d have to bring a gift too?! I guess our family is just different but if someone needs help, we help! And we’re happy to!
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I think that’s horrible. You’re parents should support u in any way they can. If it was one of my children I’d be giving a hell of a lot more then $30 damn dollars. I’m so sorry both sets of parents are like that. It’s not ok.
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It’s a shame that your parents dont want to contribute-I was lucky both sides offered help- but i do think that personal choice to get married and in doing so you should expect to pay for it yourself, I dont think you should have asked, I think it should be something that is offered. Congratulations, and I hope your day is special regardless
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So you’ve lived as a (pseudo) married couple for three years and now wants others to pay for your wedding?
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Maybe your parents don’t like each other significant other. If u had a “commitment ceremony” I’m sure they brought gifts then n helped pay w that ceremony. Make some cuts on costs of other things. Have a yard sale. Donate some plasma😂.
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Whether theyre obligated to help or not, what happened to family helping family? If you need help you turn to your friends and family. In my circle if one needs help we all pitch in
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I’n gonna be on the other side of this. I would have no problem heping my child if they needed me. My Mom has and will always be there to help me. Im pretty sure she would have NO PROBLEM helping me buy the cake if I needed the help. It’s not like she asked them to be in the wedding and deal with all the expenses that come with that.
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My dad actually did help pay for flowers for my wedding… and at the last minute he gave me 100 dollars to get my nails done because I accidentally left my wallet in my husbands truck- and my appointment was in like 2 hours and my husband wasn’t supposed to be back at the church till later that night… I don’t think asking $30 is asking a lot but don’t let it ruin your day! Just pay for cake yourself and when they ask you for help next on a family barbecue or something they got planned… Say no lol
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My 2 cents on weddings: that’s a party/celebration you want to have. You are choosing to have a ceremony and reception so it’s technically your party. It’s not an arranged marriage, it’s yalls choice lol. That’s just my personal thoughts, kinda sounds like your parents thought too? Why make it a thing?
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Dang people mad bc they both asked their parents for $30 a piece? If they paid for the first ceremony and paying for this one…I don’t see why asking for $30 is a big deal. I would expect my parents to help, I mean it’s not uncommon for parents to chip in on their child’s big day. They parents salty over $60 though!?
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Get cup cakes from the bakery and call it quits. You don’t need this extra stress.
Enjoy your beautiful day and ignore the whining… it’s not about them! It’s about you two and proclaiming your love to the world in a marriage ceremony 
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This makes me very sad. Idk… I was just raised differently I guess. My dad paid for 4 of his daughters weddings (3 large ones & 1 decently sized) and will pay for the 5th daughters wedding. We will be paying for my daughter’s wedding one day. That’s just how it’s supposed to be and how I want it to be. I feel sorry for all of you who think it’s absolutely normal to HAVE to pay everything yourself and telling her she shouldn’t get married because she can’t afford a cake. If neither parent can actually AFFORD it, that’s a different story. This is supposed to be her special day. I hope you have a great day! And if an admin wants to pass along the OP info, I’d be happy to pay $30 for your parents part!
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It is different with each family. Some families won’t care about your circumstances or money. They will do whatever is necessary to be there for you and your partner no matter what including you asking for help. Some people won’t offer to help because they want to be asked for help. Some people will refuse to help because you asked. How people respond says everything about them and nothing about you. There is nothing wrong with asking for help. Even for a wedding cake. All the comments here are from people who don’t know you, your partner, or your parents. That includes everyone’s financial situations. How other people feel doesn’t matter. What matters is how you feel. Your feelings are valid. You are allowed to be upset that your parents are acting the way they are acting. They could act more mature. I hope you don’t let this ruin your day. You have invested so much already into it. They most likely didn’t plan to help either way whether you got married 3 years ago or tomorrow. Some parents look forward to their child’s wedding and will do whatever is necessary whether asked from their child or they offer themselves. Others will be very controlling. Others will be cold and distant and refuse to help.
Don’t throw away what you have already invested. This is about you and your partner not your parents. If you truly want to marry your partner then do it regardless of either of your parent’s behavior or lack of helping. They don’t have to be apart of it. It is nice if they are apart of it but it is their choice.
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It’s been 6years that you’ve been together? I feel like the time to have your parents chip
In for a wedding is long past. That ship has sailed. I wouldn’t worry about it and pay for it yourselves.
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It’s a bit odd that asking for help would elicit that reaction from both families … Perhaps there is more to it than your letting on? Or perhaps they are just that financially strapped $30 is a big deal?
At the end of the day your wedding is on you, No one else, If you didn’t have the funds you shouldn’t have planned one, Otherwise you end up where you are currently.
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This is wear planning comes in. My husband and I got engaged and we made a budget. We knew we couldn’t afford anything big so we kept it small with only 14 close relatives. We lived together for several yrs before hand so there wasn’t anything we needed. We didn’t ask anyone to pitch in or get us anything. If you can’t afford the wedding, I would recommend getting married in court, it’s much more affordable.
Of course you should!! Personally, after that reaction though, I would have a quiet ceremony with those that are happy for the two of you and a reception following for the same people. Less stress and same end result. Good luck and congratulations!!
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I mean they don’t have to pay for anything but I do think it shows poor character not offering to pay for something for your kid to get married. I mean my mom and dad is not rich but they both offered to pay for something like the flowers or dress. And one day I would want to do the same for mine if at all possible.
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I’ve always said, “can’t afford it, don’t do it”
That’s just how I view things. If its $60 dudget on something else to be able to pay it. Sorry but I think your parents shouldn’t be responsible for something you want.
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Uninvite the parents from both sides. Honestly, that is so extremely shitty of them and they don’t deserve to be there on your big day. Yes, it would be very sad to not have either sets there but the sounds of it they arent very supportive anyway and you’d be better off not having them there, or even in your lives. I know strangers (me included) who would probably pitch in to help because I know what it’s like in this world trying to get by without parent support
I wouldn’t EXPECT them to help in any way!!
I did talk with my mom and her gift to me was to pay for half my wedding Cake… but we had a conversation about how tight finances were
So she paid towards the cake the money she was going to use to buy a gift (not that I expected a gift)
But it was also her decision to do that
If she didn’t want to I would have accepted that
I wouldn’t cancel my wedding just bc parents refused to help. My answer would be that they dont HAVE to bring a gift, muchless even show up if my wedding is an inconvenience to them. But please keep in mind that you may not be aware of their financial situation. They may trulh not be able to help. My dad was well within his means to help put, but didn’t even bother to show up or call on my wedding day. My wedding was not about him. So the show went on without him.
My advice to this couple is just graciously thank your parents for taking time to consider it and just leave it alone. Pushing it could cause further issues in their relationships. I would probably just keep my distance from that point on. I couldn’t imagine my parents not being willing to help me with $60. However I don’t think that it was inappropriate that this couple was asking for a little bit of help from their parents $60 in total is not a lot of money so it sounded reasonable. But unfortunately everyone has their own opinion and their own will to do as they please so if the parents don’t want to help that is their choice.
How old are you? I would just spend the $60 and pay for your own cake. It’s almost insulting to ask them for it. Like they are obligated to pay and you’re just proving a point.
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My wedding was gonna be hella expensive this year in November. My Venue was over 6,000 alone. Which we had enough for, and we had enough for our flowers which was $500 (just a bouquet for bride, a few flower’s for the maid of honor and one flower for groom and best man and one center piece) and my cake costed like $400 but my mother (single mother, one income household) was gonna pay for that and help out with something else as well. But my fiancé has both parents and a grandparent that lives with them. Both dad and grandma work, both said they would help pay for something when they got the last “stimulus check” I’m just glad we asked months in advice because if we had taken their word for it we wouldn’t had the money to help pay for certain things. Because they told us no after so long of us thinking they were gonna help out.
Sad your parents aren’t helping. I would try to do anything for my children if my finances allow it. Sad to see all the mindsets here.
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I don’t think it’s inappropriate considering traditionally the brides side pays for the wedding and the grooms side pays for the honeymoon.
But we don’t live in a traditional time anymore so backlash is to be expected when asking family for help to celebrate love and coming together 
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Its your wedding, so it’s your financial responsibility and no one is obligated to help fund. It would be awesome and very generous if they did and I can understand wanting some help. At the end of the day, I feel its tacky to ask. They know you’re planning a wedding and they know it’s expensive. If they wanted to help, they’d offer.
$30 your asking for only such a small amount why not foot the bill yourself.
My grand son first birth cake was made by the cake boss cost me $400+
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Personally I wouldn’t ask for help since it would be my decision or my day if people offered great if not then you obviously take care of it, I will say I would help my daughter or son no questions asked!
You know my family’s pretty old fashion, when there’s a marriage or celebration we all pitch in some way… but I’m also the youngest and the black sheep of the family… I do things to my own rhythm… if I were to get married I’d leave very little room for help because of how opinionated my family is… if they’re spending money they would more than likely want to spend it how they want to and not what I’d like for it to be spent on. I think it’d be best to just get what you can afford.
They’re cheap! Screw them and do your own thing! Wow “parents” This makes me feel SO lucky I have parents who will still go to the end of the earth and back for me at 32! It’s really a blessing and I hope I will always be able to do the same for my son now and in future.
THIS is why my husband and I didn’t have a wedding and don’t ever plan to. We got our license, got a guy who could marry us (courthouse stopped doing it) and that was it. My mom bought me some flowers lol. We didn’t have the money, and we weren’t asking, so no drama! 
You already had one ceremony, so they feel why should they help with another. You are grown figure out how to pay for it.
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Honestly my husband and I were broke, we got married at the court, and immediate family took us out to eat. Nothing big. We wanted to save her money for a down payment on a house and our honeymoon. So now they don’t owe you anything. That’s your decision to have a wedding
There’s nothing wrong with asking for a little help. However, you’ve assist had a commitment party and they’re probably over it now. Don’t be hurt about it. 30 isn’t much, really. I’d do it for my kids, but that’s me. You weren’t wrong but, neither were they. Congratulations though!
Your parents must be very stingy with money 30.00 is nothing compared to you guys paying the rest. The brides parents were supposed to pay in the past. My father paid 1000.00 for my sister’s wedding even though we didn’t have the money at the tim That was in 1986.
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Where are you getting a wedding cake for $60?
Most are several hundred dollars… This doesn’t seem to be about money, but really support for you and your relationship. I wouldn’t ask for money… If they want to help they should volunteer to help. Don’t expect anything but be grateful for whatever you get.
Not to me, but it all depends on circumstances. Just hypothetically speaking if I was in your position with involved parents (My dad died when I was 16, and my birth unit is a semi homeless addict.) My dad would’ve said just bake it yourself or ask your friends to bake desserts, cupcakes, cookies, and pies, or buy the 30 count cupcakes at Sam’s for $15 because he was cheap like that. My mom would say just make it yourself. My parents would say y’all been together 6 years, shacked up and bumping uglies this long, had a commitment ceremony and that was enough to call y’all married. They’d likely give in if they had $30 to spare, but with them living on a fixed income or being homeless, I as an adult wouldn’t ask it of them.
Buy the cake yourself. Buy EVERYTHING yourself and if someone happens to gift you some money or whatever just be grateful. We asked for nothing for our wedding after being together for 9+ years. Certain people ended up gifting random items or money but we in no way wanted to burden anyone or feel like we owed them something. Our wedding was at our home in the backyard. We made the food ourselves. My in-laws were very helpful though and offered to cover any cost we would need help with, but they ended up buying our cake from Walmart that we ordered because it was the most cost effective.
I’m sorry your family’s not being helpful, but I hope you two are able to work things out independently! Good luck!
Not everyone has the luxury of family helping out with things like that. It’s common for many people, but not everyone. It’ll be okay! You guys just pay for your own stuff, but maybe look for cheaper options for random things like plates napkins and silverware if you don’t want to to a cheaper venue or something
My husband and I never had a real ceremony with friends and family, we got married at the courthouse. We have talked briefly about it but haven’t made plans due to covid and were still working on our property where we would have it. All we have are my inlaws, I wouldn’t dare ask them to pay for our wedding cake it’s been several years too many!!! However I know my sister inlaws and mother inlaw would definitely ask what they could bring to contribute. It’s just how southern hospitality is. I wouldn’t expect them to cover a professionally decorated cake. Perhaps asking for a homemade dish would be better suited, just my opinion. I do think it’'s kind of tacky and classless to feel entitled to expect others to pay for “Your Wants” Karen.
You asked, they said no. Leave it at that.
My husband and I paid for almost our entire wedding except for my dress. It was our responsibility even though both sides offered multiple times.
Shoot…most people spend $60 on coffee so is that $60 really going to make or break having the cake? Do what is best for you and your future spouse.
Just pay for it and don’t invite them nor accept their gift🤷🏽♀️ I can’t stand family acting that way. 30$ is nothing…
But that’s just me… I don’t ask nobody for nothing unless it’s an emergency and even then it’s iffy. Lol. I also think that maybe if you can’t afford it then waiting could be a better option until you save up.
Have a very small and intimate wedding and stick to your means…a backyard u cook a little and call it a day…a pay for it yourself…and whomever shall complain from either party let them kno u have a budget and ur sticking to it or dnt have the wedding until u can afford what u want …plain and simple it is no one responsibility to pay for your day💖
This is just my thought, but if I asked someone to pay for my wedding, or any part of it, I would expect to be laughed at or just told NO. Its nobody else’s responsibility to finance what you are doing. Congrats on getting married and all, but don’t ask other people to help pay for it. You 2 decided to get married, nobody else should have to shell out for you.