After 11 years of a marriage full of dv I left in 2019. I met a guy who is really sweet and everything months later. We tried living together once and my kids and I became homesick. So we moved back home. Well I fell for my best friend. We lasted maybe 3 mos before I caught her in a bunch of lies and so forth. So then the sweet guy and I started talking again. He is so nice and everything but I dont think he is my person. I'm not happy. I dont get dressed up much anymore. I feel like I'm gaining weight again. And I pretty much sleep all night then get my kids to school and come back and sleep til they come home. Hes been staying with me for 2 months now. I feel smothered almost. Anywhere I go in the house he is right there. Except to the bathroom. Sometimes i go in there just to get away. An he talks nonstop about the most random $hit. Idk how to end things with him because i am an empath and hate causing pain to others. Plus the last 2 times we ended things he pretty much had an accident of some sort. I'm also not happy about the fact that hes not working. I'm desperately trying to find work myself but I dont see him looking at all. An he will fall asleep anytime. He has done it in the middle of dates even. Maybe I just need a break. Idk. It's coming up 5 years of my son passing november 1 so I know that's part of my depression too.
I would give yourself time. You were married for a good portion, & it’ll take time to find your independence again. I understand not wanting to cause pain, but it’s better then living like that again. You’re responsible for your own happiness, so focus on you, your kids. Don’t let anyone stop you until you’re happy.