Ignore the mother-in-law. You didn’t marry her!
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Quit trying to make her happy! Make yourself First happy, your husband and children! Life’s to short to worry about 
that bothers you !
Makes me think what kind of grandma she is Shmmh🤦🏻♀️
There’s Nothing I’d rather do than play Barbies with my granddaughters!!
I work a full time job (8-5), come home and cook, clean up dinner including dishes, clean the house, do laundry (wash, fold, and put away), take care of the kids including baths and helping get ready in am and for bed in pm. My husband doesn’t have to lift a finger. Yeah it may be 10 pm and everyone is in bed but me, I just finished washing dishes, but at least everyone is happy and he can rest after a hard day’s work.
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Whatever the couple decides works out for them, it shouldn’t be a problem.
Mom in laws are just grumpy sometimes because they raised their son a certain way, and it’s ok. 
Y’all just nod your head when she’s giving her opinion, and tell her that you’re doing just fine the way you’re doing things, but you appreciate her care and concern. Then continue to do what works best for you two!
It’s NOT MY JOB to do anything unless I want to do it …
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I think there should be balance. It’s not easy to go work long hours as a man for him not even get to enjoy the money. It’s stressful on both sides! Just let it go. If she says something to you then tell her how you feel.
If you’re a stay at home mom, and your husband works all day,then yes I think you should clean the house and cook food!
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Because back then the women stayed home, it’s the same thing here. I do everything. They think we can do it all with having a full time job on top of house and kids and food. While they finish work and watch tv while we slave away
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I would think that yes you should get things done during the day. Allow the children to help and set a time for play. First we get the laundry together and down to the washer. Afterwards, we will play outside for x amount of time. Dinner can be planned in advance and worked around. Do you do the yard work so he can play with the kids ? Sooner or later he is going to take enough and become resentful towards you as well as his mother. I am so happy that you make time to spend with your children. As a Teacher , I can not tell you how happy I happy that you are involved but their has to be a mix of work and play and that is a good practice to share with the kids… Not trying to be a naysayer.
It reminds me of the below image.
My grandpa did the cooking and cleaning. My grandma didnt lift a finger. My husband cooks more than I do. I prefer to do the cleaning. But theres no time for it all day. The place is a mess because I have needy/ clingy kids. Like would i let my baby scream and cry just so i can clean the kitchen? Absolutely not. My moms whole take away from my childhood was she kept the house clean. Im like cool story! Because all I remember is not getting attention and always playing alone. Do I think that was a great childhood? No.
Play with your kids. The house will be clean eventually. Obviously everyone will have a meal or three to eat. The kids will remember the attention they were given.
I think yup that u should be expected 2 keep.house kids clean and cook etc if u don’t like it go to work and let Ur husband stay home lol
Every household and it’s needs are different but in short 
NO
I feel bad when I do not cook for my hubby. I like having dinner ready for him when he gets home from work. We both have our own businesses so we both work but I usually get home before he does. I still have time to play with my kids and clean, etc… If you know what time your husband gets home from work give yourself enough time to cook whatever dinner you are cooking. Or you can meal prep and have food already ready and you just have to warm it up when he is on the way home.
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My husband leaves at 630am and comes home around 5/6 whenever he’s done with work. Sometimes I make dinner sometimes he does. My house is usually a mess from being lived in and my dishes aren’t always done… we both do yard work and he spends most of his time helping me when gets home. He baths the kids and takes trash out.
I suppose this woman expects you to jump up and fix him his plate too? Does she want you to cut up his meat for him? Wipe his little chin? GAG, this is ridiculous, and I’m 60 and would NEVER advise anyone that this is their “JOB”.
It’s both a women’s and men’s job! Whoever is staying home should help maintain the house or if a couple agrees that maintaining the house is 50/50 that’s fine too. Whatever works for your household. Mother in laws need to mind their own business.
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I think it’s up to you two as a couple to decide what your ‘jobs’ and roles are, and what is important to each of you. Anyone else’s opinion’s are completely irrelevant!
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Times have changed. There are more things that have to be done in this day and age vs hers. She’s outdated.
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If he’s working and your home yes you should be cleaning and cooking . But if everything is not done than he should come home and help some . It’s a team effort. But at same time his job is outside the home . And if your home . Yours is the home .and he should have dinner ready . I’m not saying every night but he st least deserve some nites and if you need a break he should give you a break .
If hes working and your home all day then yes, you should take care of the home. Doesn’t have to be spotless but it’s not hard to do a load of laundry a few dishes and tidy up. He brings home the goods doesn’t he?
Yes you should cook and straighten up the house but he should absolutely help w kids and o thing things around the house… it’s a partnership…
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As a stay at home mom it is our job to cook clean take care of kids. Husbands shouldn’t have to lift a finger unless it’s to help with the kids or having to do the yard work. I mean it’s just common sense l.
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That 50s relationship mentality has always nauseated me.
you want a woman to cook clean and cater to the kids 100%, cool, I’ll do that as soon as the men get up every day, put on a suit and tie, head off to work, and fully financially support 100% of the household.
Until then don’t tell me to get back in the kitchen.
As for mrs.grouchy 60+
You are with her son. Not her. If he doesn’t have an issue there ISNT an issue!!
If he won’t stand up to her, YOU stand up to her. You are a grown woman, if this bothers you, stand up for your self and tell her to get back in her own damn kitchen!
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Depends… In my household I do the cleaning and cooking and have two kids. Even when im working I make sure to clean the house when I get home. And he takes care if the outside/ yard work. But I do the house work because I want to. However you run your household is nobody’s business.
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I think it is your job to keep the place spotless and clean if your a stay at home mom and he works but it’s his job too to maintain it …takes 
from each of you in that house …tell the old hag MIL to shut her pie hole and stay the hell home ;)
I mean if your a stay at home mom and he goes to work everyday to take car if his family, 100% your job to care foe the children and the household. If you don’t like it get a job then y’all both contribute to housework 50/50
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Honestly, gender has nothing to do with it.
If one partner is the sole bread earner, the other should be taking care of the work at home. (Dishes/ laundry, cleaning) to, a fair level. If one works an eight or ten hour day out of the house, the person at home should be able to get a LOT done in that time
When the bread winner gets home though, kids should be thought of first and the responsibilities shared evenly. (Homework, hygiene instruction etc)
Not about old fashioned, it’s about being partners, playing with kids all day instead of doing work work, to me, you would need a good reason (special needs child)
Maybe unpopular, but, it’s fair
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Hmm… even my dad, in his 60’s told my grandma that we live in a different time… when she made the comment that my now husband should be the bread winner for us… before we were even married. But it’s definitely 50/50 work… especially when it comes to the kids.
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She should mind her business, if he works long hours then you should keep the house clean cause he doesn’t make a mess when he’s not home, and he should be willing to help and also tell his mom to lay off 
You can still clean the house and take care/play with your kids… takes a few mins to vacuum…takes a few mins to put the dishes in the dish washer or wash them…or 5 mins to throw a load of laundry in the washer…etc… its hard because its continuous… but its doable…
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- The house shouldn’t be a wreck. Have the kids help tidy up before he gets home.
- Have the kids help in the kitchen, too.
- Does he clean up after dinner ? That should be HIS job. Put the dishes in the dishwasher or wash them and put them in the drainer.
- Put the kids to bed together, that leave you both more " together" time !!
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Honestly my mother in law was about the same way but in a way she opened my eyes! Clean happy home and happy kids. But the father of my kids we split the chores. But I’d use that last two hours to tidy up and make dinner.
If he’s working, the parent who is home should make some kinda effort to clean up. Nobody says white glove clean but make any effort. He shouldn’t come home and wash a whole load of dishes. It’s possible to get things done and invlide the children…how do you think they’ll learn time management?
My husband do next do dishes and I don’t take out the trash. 
I also don’t have to change my oil or worry about the grass. He doesn’t have to wash his own clothes. It’s a partnership. Plus, who wants to come home to a filthy home??
A friend came to my house for coffee, we sat and talked about life. At some point in the conversation, I said, “I’m going to wash the dishes and I’ll be right back.”
He looked at me as if I had told him I was going to build a space rocket. Then he said to me with admiration but a little perplexed: “I’m glad you help your wife, I do not help because when I do, my wife does not praise me. Last week I washed the floor and no thanks.”
I went back to sit with him and explained that I did not “help” my wife. Actually, my wife does not need help, she needs a partner. I am a partner at home and through that society are divided functions, but it is not a “help” to do household chores.
I do not help my wife clean the house because I live here too and I need to clean it too.
I do not help my wife to cook because I also want to eat and I need to cook too.
I do not help my wife wash the dishes after eating because I also use those dishes.
I do not help my wife with her children because they are also my children and my job is to be a father.
I do not help my wife to wash, spread or fold clothes, because the clothes are also mine and my children.
I am not a help at home, I am part of the house. And as for praising, I asked my friend when it was the last time after his wife finished cleaning the house, washing clothes, changing bed sheets, bathing her children, cooking, organizing, etc. You said thank you
But a thank you of the type: Wow, sweetheart !!! You are fantastic!!!
Does that seem absurd to you? Are you looking strange? When you, once in a lifetime, cleaned the floor, you expected in the least, a prize of excellence with great glory … why? You never thought about that, my friend?
Maybe because for you, the macho culture has shown that everything is her job.
Perhaps you have been taught that all this must be done without having to move a finger? Then praise her as you wanted to be praised, in the same way, with the same intensity. Give her a hand, behave like a true companion, not as a guest who only comes to eat, sleep, bathe and satisfy needs … Feel at home. In his house.
The real change of our society begins in our homes, let us teach our sons and daughters the real sense of fellowship! “
—Hawk—
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I’m a man and I think it’s a mutual thing sometimes women need a break from the same old thing just as we do. Hey
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SAHP should do the majority of cooking and cleaning and when the working parent has a day off so should the SAHP. Unless the working parent works 6 days a week then the 7th day should be split in half by one off in morning and one off in afternoon. SAHP deserve a day off as well it shouldn’t be only the working parent getting a day off. It’s not like the SAHP gets to clock out at the end of their shift each day. Good luck!
Good thing you married him, not her.
Politely say “and that’s your opinion” and move on. Or just “you’re so right” and leave it alone.
It’s very hard to do, I know… but if he isn’t going to correct her then there’s no point in stressing about it.
As long as you and him are happy, that’s what matters.
You can clean house n tend to kids. Its call multi tasking. Not being ugly just saying.
- You’re not married to your MIL
- Enjoy every second with your little while they are still little.
- Run your marriage and your life as you see fit and enjoy the life you have created with your family !
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Was raised if the husband works and supports the family…and your staying home with the kids, house should be cleaned, and food should be cooked daily. But that’s just how I was raised …a man shouldn’t work everyday and come home to a filthy house
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Oof 
sounds like you need to join Monster-In-Law Support Group
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It all depends on how YOUR house hold is run … have a sit down talk with him and see how he feels 
I’m a stay at home mom and I do 98% of the house work but it was the same when I was working full time as well and I was okay with that
Maybe he hasnt said anything to her because he does agree with her to a point. He probably doesn’t want you scrubbing the floor with a toothbrush all day, but coming home to a clean house is not a big ask. It doesnt take that long to do and kids learn the ability to entertain themselves for small time frames while you do it. Im not saying this because he is a man and you are a woman, regardless of gender, if one person is working and the other one is at home with children, then the person at home should at least keep the place tidy.
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If you are home then yes you should do all these things. I cared for my children, played with them, ran errands, cooked and cleaned so it can be done. It’s establishing a routine so it’s done.
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Enjoy your kids as much as you can - the house will always be there along with everything that needs to be done … my boys are 17 & 18 and the same things still need to be done every dayyyyyy… it goes fast and you don’t get that time back … I wish I played with my boys more … instead of cleaning and cooking . Enjoy your babies .
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Yes, all men expect it honestly. Mine is sitting playing video games during the week vacation we were supposed to take but he didn’t feel like it wondering why I don’t want to sleep with him. But yeah, that’s how its been forever so you really think times have changed? I have to remind myself of this or I get angry.
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Thats great if she feels that way she can come over before he gets home & clean up - problem solved!
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You’re not married to her nor is it the 50s she should mind her business and you and your family do what’s best for you
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No. He lives there too. Just because he works does not mean he’s not obligated to help take care of the house and children. Childcare is a full time job too. There’s nothing wrong with him cleaning and cooking. This was the attitude of my EX husband as well. Not of my current boyfriend. He views our relationship as a PARTNERSHIP. He LOVES cooking and cleans all of the time. I assure you, he’s just as male now as the day I met him. LOL Duck your nasty mother in law and figure things out between you and your husband- who wants to do what and when, and tell the witch to keep her nose out of your house and marriage.
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I mean, if he works all day, I think it would be nice to have a meal prepared for him, but otherwise, you both should share the responsibility. It’s not easy being a stay at home mother either!
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Not necessarily a woman’s job, but as a stay at home parent, yes it’s your job. If he was home all day, it would be his job too, but he’s not. He’s working. And not to be mean, but dishes and vacuuming doesn’t even take long to do. I just recently started staying home to finish schooling, and I clean and cook everyday and take care of the kids.
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Hell get your kids involved in helping clean up…my 2 yr old loves helping me tidy up. But my husband and I are a team so we split stuff 50/50.
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I am at home. I do all of the cooking and cleaning, and errands. I take care of the inside of the house, he takes care of the outside. Of course, I do help him with the outside. Weeding, edging etc. We are both very traditional. That’s what works for us. Our children are adults, so we have no little ones to attend to. Every household/Family is different. How you run your household is the decision of you and your husband, and NOT your mother in law.
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I mean If u are a sahm then yeah u should be pulling some weight cleaning… do u think it’s fair dad is out all day working and then has to come home and clean? It’s cool if he came home to a mostly clean home and he helped u clean up before bed or something but for the most part it should be cleaned… not spotless but not a messy ass house either
Just tell her how you feel 0 fucks given I dont hold back on mine 0 fucks given. You want to be a cunt to me I’m gonna be the same way back.
I do think if you stay at home then yes the brunt should fall on you. But that don’t mean not make time for the kids or anything. It just means come up with a system a little bit each day that’s what i did before I went back to the office I do dishes n make beds clean counters n cook daily. Vacuum a few times a week same with sweeping. Mop once a week n dust. Twice if we have company
He’s still gone 10-20 hours a week more then me so I still do 95% of the housework
My husband will help with cooking here or their or dishes n that’s about it. When he’s laid off he’s the house bitch n I focus on work n play
I used to have 8 kids every weekend. I came up with a game and had the kids help clean the house. The house was clean before bedtime and we had time to read 2 or 3 books before bedtime.
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As a woman? No. But sounds like you are a stay at home mom. So yeah.
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It doesn’t matter who does what! If I see my wife needs help even after a long days work I’m gonna lend a hand. What makes my job more important than hers and vice versa.
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In my opinion, if you’re a stay at home parent then yes all of that falls to you. The house should be reasonably clean, dinner made, kids taken care of etc. If you both work then home chores should be split, and if he stays home while you work he should take care of all the house stuff. Probably a bit old fashioned but it’s how I feel. I’m a stay at home mom and my husband works his butt off at a manual labor job to provide for us. It’s the least I can do to make sure laundry, cooking, cleaning etc is taken care of so he can relax when he’s off work.
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Just a thought, depending on ur kid’s age u could play music and clean and have a little “party” where they can dance and still spend time with u
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Every home is different. If u and your husband are fine with it. Just stop listening to everyone else.
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Your MIL can go eat glass. Staying home with the kids is a full time job.
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Stop worrying about how she feels. Shit does need to get done, no one liked living in a dirty home. As long as you’re doing it and he doesn’t complain, who cares.
You don’t have to be good enough for her…ignore her…
If youre a stay at home mom and you dont work, more of the housework should fall on you. It’s 100% doable to take care of the kids and the house if you dont work a FT job, because that in itself is a FT job. Doesnt matter if youre a woman, what matters is sharing an relatively equal amount of work with your SO. I would say the same thing if a woman was the breadwinner and the dad stayed at home, it’s just about sharing responsibilities.
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My kids come first as a stay at home mom and what I get done I get done
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When I still had my late husband, if he worked and I stayed home I would have the house cleaned and dinner on the table by the time he got home. If I worked and he stayed home he would have the house cleaned and dinner on the table. If we both worked it was an equal effort. Be thankful you have the one you love still here with you. I know it’s hard sometimes because we let our anger and emotions get the best of us but you need to stop and be grateful for still having a husband and being able to stay home with your kids. I wish I would have cherished my time with my late husband more and didn’t complain about small things that eventually didn’t matter now looking back at it, especially something like this. It’s been 4 years and I still miss him and wish I could have cherished him alot more. Don’t let something small, blind you from your blessings that are right in front of you. You never know how much time you have with loved ones
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What is your contribution to the household other than being the mom. He’s the dad and he supports the household. If he didn’t you wouldn’t be able not work.
Running a household or a life is both partners responsibility You’re not more responsible for this or that because of your gender You support each other and remember your not married to the mother in law
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If you’re a stay at home parent you do what needs to be done. Having to take care of kids is no excuse you work between their naps
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Tell her it’s 2021 not 1950s my husband’s helps me clean cook and care for our son like a responsible and caring father/husband should do regardless homes take team work of not we get burnt out.
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If you’re a stay at home parent, then yes, it’s your job. I’m a stay at home mom of two children ages 7 months and 2 years old. My husband travels for work so I do everything inside our home: cleaning, laundry, cooking, grocery shopping, errands, doctor appointments, taking care of our two dogs and a cat, along with making the time to play with my children. When my husband is home, I STILL do all those things. Why? Because my husband works so hard for our family so I can stay home with our children, doing housework is the most any stay at home parent can do. He does all the outside work so I don’t have too. But, I was also brought up that way, so everyone is going to look at it differently.
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In my marriage my husband cooks, I clean, he does the yardwork. We both work and both take care of the kids. We are highschool sweethearts and have been happily married for 26 years. …so you can still be ‘wife’ material even if you don’t do it all …but is he husband material, not standing up for you?
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Why worry if husband is happy that’s all that matters
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If what you guys have now works, I’d not worry about anyone else’s opinion! Trust me, enjoy your time with your babies! Before you know it, they’re grown like our son is.
I’m truly blessed that my husband cooks, cleans & does the laundry, before he goes to work most days! I come home to a clean home. The only thing I have to do is feed our pup kiddos!
Your MIL is a sexist old cow!
Your husband should put her in her place!
If you tasted my husbands cooking you’d know the answer! Lmao. The kids beg mom to cook because the house can only handle so much papa Murphy’s, and burgers from the George Foreman grill (learned that when mom went on strike). And a man who runs the construction site and tracks the dirt & saw dust in obviously doesn’t think to clean it. Aka: just let me do it and yes, I work full time from home as the project manager for said construction site.
Do whatever you want she’s not the boss of you❤️
YESSSSS!! Why is this even a question? If he works, you should clean, no questions asked. Some women ever take advantage of my children some days and I’m opening my mouth too. I work ALOT, support both of my children in my own and my house remains clean. There’s no excuse for filth, ever!
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Are you working? If not then yes Monday through Friday your job is to take care of the kids and the house. Weekends he can help
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Your house doesn’t need to pass the Good Housekeeping approval for being the cleanest and best maintained. Your children are the most important at this point and hopefully when your husband is home he also takes time to pay attention to them. They usually do take naps or can have a guiet time when you can do some of the chores that need to be done. I admit to using Captain Kangeroo as a sitter some times. It takes a few minutes to put a load in the washing machine and then into the dryer. Had four at home ages 5, 2 and two one year olds. Might not have passed a white glove test but had time to play with kids and most of the things Mothers do.
If you’re a stay at home mom then yes it is BUT you all made those kids together, so you’re both responsible, so when he gets home you let him take care of the kids while you do the house. My husband chips in though without asking so…
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Ok Had to read that again.
Your house should be clean no matter what!! And I raised 5 kids and house was always clean 
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Its up to the couple to decide who has what duties to maintain the household. Its 2021. Its no longer assumed. It’s a working partnership, not an owner and slave.
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Honestly I do everything including moving and yard work when I can and wash the car as well my other half fixes the car and goes any home repairs it’s the least I can do when he is stuck at work for days on end with no break and his days off are filled with responsibilities
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Your mother in law is right to an extent but it’s really not her business
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Honestly if your husband works all day you should be doing those things. Not saying he shouldn’t help here and there because a good man will. But you should want to take care of your husband, kids and household. It’s give and take.
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I stay home, and my husband works. He does almost all of the cooking, and I do the cleaning. Do what works for your family!
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She’s not the boss ask your husband if he wants it done while he at work then do but IMO yes she is right
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A man should not work all day and come home to a pig sty. It doesn’t mean it has to be perfect but if your not working you should find balance between kids and housework. When my kids went to school I opened my own business and it’s a struggle but I still work hard to keep the house. Every now and then I hire help but a hard working husband shouldn’t come home to filth and the kids shouldn’t live in it either.
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I’m a stay at home mum and yes my house is spotless. My husband is FIFO yet when he comes home he helps with children and housework. It’s not 1950 anymore. Your mil should mind her own business and your husband should man up. If he cannot stand up for you even to his mother and yes I get that’s his mum but he is a man now. If she keeps carrying on send him back to her and let her continue raising this man child she has and still controls. You do you boo and don’t let any man or his mumma make you feel like this. Your his wife. The mother to his children. You are not his personal maid.
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we both work, both took care of the kids & both cleaned house—it can alllllll be done!
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Tell her yourself to eff off !
I raised 6 my husband worked. So yes u should clean the house and take care of kids. Get the older ones to help. Start teaching them when they r big enough to pick up behind there self as they get older they can help do more so its not all on you
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If he works full time and you don’t have a job then yes it’s your job to clean. Who would want to work full time and come home and clean up after the other adult who has been home all day. If you make him clean then it’s basically like he has another kid to clean up after and take care of. You can spend time with kids and get the chores done. Have the kids help, make a game out of it. But yea, she’s right.
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F that 
tell her to come on over & get to work. I get to it eventually but there’s those days… Where other things happen & it’s not done when he gets home. I have four kids … which most of them have been bad sick… he’s lucky to have dinner ready. It’s not her household… tell her mind her business & you do what’s best for your family
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Sadly I have a mother in law that is the same way and even if he did say something it wouldn’t change it is that generation! Ignore it I’m sure you’re a great mama and wife! I am a stay at home mom to 4 girls under the age of 5 and just until recently they all were home with me! The house is never cleaned spotless and dishes aren’t down but when hubby gets home we work as a team and the Ho Ouse will be spotless!
She needs to mind her business and her home while you do yours.
Your husband and you are married. Your children’s happiness, well-being and care is far more important than anything else. There is no written rule that say a perfect home is required in a marriage!!!
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If you’re a sahm then you should be doing a lot of the housework but definitely not ALL of it… as long as your house is decent and you’re not just living in filth then I dont see the problem…